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Just a few Questions! *Anyone can answer.*

Started by Maxwell, December 13, 2014, 03:13:04 PM

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Maxwell

Hello! I am quite young (14,15 soon) and I live in the USA if it helps with these questions!

1.What is the policy of getting T? I know you usually have to go to a Gender Therapist for about a year to get a letter,
but don't know how the process exactly works. Also I don't know if it matters but I have been going to a regular therapist
for about 6-7 years. Please can anyone explain?

2. School. It is a big problem for me but I have 2 BEST friends I know I can tell that will be 100% ok with it, and
it would be so easier if I had classes with them but I don't. Only see them at the beginning of the day in the highschools commons until
the bell rings and after almost each class. My student counselor and principal are very supportive even letting me use
the Male bathroom back in the office. We also have 1 transgender girl who is out to the whole school. I am not out at all to the student body.

3. Name. I was young and picked a nice name I used for my character in my head Max, I really love the name but thing is
it happens to be my sisters dogs name  :embarrassed:. So theres a problem but the school and my friends call me Max
and the school even lets me write it on all my work and even will be my name or the Yearbook! But you can
obviously see the problem with my name and the family....

Sorry for wall of text I still have many questions and I'm sorry if I get annoying but I have no one who really gets it...yaknow?
All help appreciated and thanks for your valued time!
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CursedFireDean

First, if you are under 18, you shouldn't post your age. It's against the rules, so you should edit that out. You can just say you're a minor.

1. There's two options. But one you have to be 18. So for you, the process would be going to a gender therapist (no time requirement) and making sure your parents are on board. The therapist after a few sessions or maybe longer depending on the therapist and you, can write you a letter for T to bring to an endocrinologist who works with trans patients. [This does not HAVE to be a gender therapist, I have had friends get letters from their normal therapists. The therapist had to learn how to write the letter, but they are still qualified to do it.] With parental permission, you can start T. Most doctors require you to be 16, however, you may be able to get on hormone blockers or find a doctor who prescribes younger. I've heard of guys as young as 14 getting on T. Depending on who you can find the requirements can range from 14 to 18. The other option, where you have to be 18, is to go through informed consent. Some doctors make you sign papers saying you understand the effects of hormones, the doctor talks to you about that, then you get to start. You basically sign a document saying that you know full well that these changes will or will not occur on hormones, so you can't get mad at the doctor and try to sue them or anything. No gender therapist needed here, you just go straight to the hormones.

2. After reading your whole post I'm a little confused- does everyone at school use Max? Are you stealth right now, or do most people use female name/pronouns? Well I guess Max is a gender neutral name. Could you explain your situation further?

3. If it is a name you love, you should go for it. If your family has issues with it, perhaps they can use Maxwell or whatever longer version you like, or they could use whatever you'd like your middle name to be? It's not unusual for family to use one name while non-family or friends use another. Some families prefer the full or formal versions of names, or they use first names when people prefer their middle, so it wouldn't be unusual if others heard them using a different name.

If you have other questions, feel free to ask! We are here to help :)





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mrs izzy

No need now to edit age. I will move it to the teen talk area.

I am guessing your parents are on your support side and are helping.

But blockers can be given younger then 18 if everyone is on board with your transition.

Ie: parents, doctor, therapist and endo.
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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ryanjoseph

hello there! hopefully i can answer some of your questions :)

1. as far as i know, the youngest you can get T is at 16 and that's with parental consent and depending on your state laws as well, I believe. Also, getting a letter for T reallyyy depends on the therapist you go to. I went to a social worker who works mainly with trans people preparing to go on HRT. I went in for one session (paid $100 for it) and he gave me the letter (which was another $100) and that was that. I gave it to my endo and that was good enough for her. I'm 20, so I'm a bit older than you. I'm not sure if you can find a therapist who would give you a letter so quickly, but I don't think it would take a year's worth of therapy to get a letter. But again, this depends on your therapist and the variety of therapists where you live. (If you live in a small, southern town...good luck). Your current therapist may or may not be willing to write a T letter for you. I would definitely bring it up with them. If you've been having dysphoria for awhile and you've talked about that with your therapist, that'll definitely help your case.

2. Oh man, high school can be rough! I can't really speak so much about school...I went to an all girls school (yikes!) and I left to be homeschooled when I was about your age. I started college at 17 and I didn't start transitioning until then. College is generally more relaxed, so it wasn't as big of a deal. If they're letting you use the male bathroom and there's a trans girl at your school, I'd say you're already pretty lucky. Personally I never had a big "coming out", I just started presenting as male and corrected people when they used "she" pronouns with me. No one really questioned it. I think in your situation, though, I'd try to set up a time to talk with your friends about it so they know and just start being you.

3. If you identify with that name, go for it! I changed my name a couple of times when I first started transitioning (my username on here is ryanjoseph, but I go by Andrew now haha). I think if you're already going by Max and you feel comfortable with it, don't worry about it too much.





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Maxwell

Thanks for all the messages guys! I'll be a bit more specific but I will be a careful with my age didn't know about the youth board!(Sorry
Mrs.Izzy!) But we used to be military so we had a lot of stuff covered like my therapy but we got switched to standard so we are trying
currently to get it back to prime so they pay for therapy at least.. My family cannot homeschool me as my mother is very ill and there
isn't anything we can do to improve her and my family is medically retired. My close family is supportive, but my mom is the only one
who really tries, but like I said very ill... My papi and sister don't mind but my papi is Hispanic so his culture says a big no. He still
supports and loves me though but cannot see me as his son until I go Full through all the procedures. My sister is awkward and
hates talking about it, I don't think she really can accept change or want for me to change. She is kinda supportive. The only people I can talk to
is you guys, my therapist and my mom..

Replying to Dean everyone except my sister and her friends, papi, sometimes my mom uses Max. My school uses it for everything they legally can,
like I said even the yearbook. I use female pronouns because I don't know how to really go through my transition at school. It really limits me and has a bad effect on my school work because I can barely keep myself together. But if I could be myself I know I could be doing so much better.
My school is mixed but they separate us for a lot of things and it really hurts though. My highschool says you can push back some classes until your
senior year which I'm hoping to do!
Thanks again for all the help!  :)
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fitzyfoop

I'm in the same boat as you my friend, except for the fact that I'm MTF. I also go to an all male school, which sucks. I'm a "normal" guy to everyone bar this forum and one of my friends I knew would be totally fine, and she was. Anyhow, good luck, Max! All the best, Natty (Natalie)
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Maxwell

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 13, 2014, 04:32:39 PM
I'm in the same boat as you my friend, except for the fact that I'm MTF. I also go to an all male school, which sucks. I'm a "normal" guy to everyone bar this forum and one of my friends I knew would be totally fine, and she was. Anyhow, good luck, Max! All the best, Natty (Natalie)
Thanks Natalie!
Best wishes!
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mrs izzy

Max

If you try planned parenthood i know they have help for the ftm that are youths.

Could be a starting point. Even just for support network.

Lots of luck Master Maxwell.
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Maxwell

Quote from: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 04:45:16 PM
Max

If you try planned parenthood i know they have help for the ftm that are youths.

Could be a starting point. Even just for support network.

Lots of luck Master Maxwell.
:D. Who exactly is planned parenthood and how can they help me Mrs.?
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fitzyfoop

I cracked up when I read your last post Max, because I just thought "Oh man, he's pulling the english kid's missus(Mrs) card". Sorry that this is kinda off topic
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mrs izzy

Planned parenthood is for young females to get education on sex, birth control and teen pregnancy support.

They also have helped ftm in there transition.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

They are in the USA, Canada and other counties.
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Maxwell

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 13, 2014, 04:50:26 PM
I cracked up when I read your last post Max, because I just thought "Oh man, he's pulling the english kid's missus(Mrs) card". Sorry that this is kinda off topic
Nice I could make you laugh! :laugh: Just wanted to not seem rude to Mrs.Izzy So she doesn't think im some snotty  kid.. yaknow? :angel:
(p.s thanks for the link Mrs. Izzy will check them out! Do they have support groups with actual face to face other transgender kids I could talk to?
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mrs izzy

Max,

You will have to check each local office to see what they have available.

Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Maxwell

Quote from: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 05:05:16 PM
Max,

You will have to check each local office to see what they have available.
Thanks! :) But my mother is ill so she can't really take me and my papi probably wouldn't like going there.... Do you know or
have any experience what it's like going there for the first time?
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fitzyfoop

Max, could you give me some advice on comin out to parents? Considering you're my age I think you'd be my best bet, although you said something about going to a therapist, I suspect that had something to do with your parents knowing? Anyway, if you would, I'll take all the advice I can get, thanks, Natty
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mrs izzy

They are for youth or younger adults so they understand.

They also care for and offer education to the lgbtq community.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens/lgbtq

They offer lots of free services.



Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
  •  

Maxwell

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 13, 2014, 05:12:48 PM
Max, could you give me some advice on comin out to parents? Considering you're my age I think you'd be my best bet, although you said something about going to a therapist, I suspect that had something to do with your parents knowing? Anyway, if you would, I'll take all the advice I can get, thanks, Natty
Well I probably aint best suited to tell you on how to do this and I don't know your situation... so I'll just tell you how I did it. probably very risky.
So I went to a therapist near 7ish because I actually told my mom I was suicidal so the very next day she got me my therapist. I went to her for about till I was 11ish and I told my mother I felt like a boy. Next day we told my therapist who -luckily- was very open with it even if she wasn't very
knowledgeable about the topic really. Fast forward to my current age 14 almost 15 in 3 months and my sister my mother told. I told my papi
I had a huge secret to tell him. But he actually figured it out with out me telling him. I'm guessing because I've always been his 'little side kick'
and wearing guy clothes he sorta figured it out...  I'm currently trying to figure out how to tell my biological father.
What situation are you in? If you wanna tell me ofcourse.  :)
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Maxwell

Quote from: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 05:16:45 PM
They are for youth or younger adults so they understand.

They also care for and offer education to the lgbtq community.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens/lgbtq

They offer lots of free services.
Thanks tons! I will check them out and what they have to offer.
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mrs izzy

Quote from: Maxwell on December 13, 2014, 05:22:14 PM
Thanks tons! I will check them out and what they have to offer.

I wish you the best at your life's path.

Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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