I was just thinking, after reading another post, about the times in my life I could have come out as trans but was to scared to do so. I often wonder what life would be now. I cant imagine not having my wife or kids but there was a time I could have come out early. I was once caught in bed with my moms pantyhose on, fifth grade. She asked me laughing a bit, my brother also saw (and in all these years never brought it up again beyond that day). I told her I was cold and football players use them, super lame Excuse I know. She let it be. Weird it was summer break at the time. Later when picking up my dad, my brother told him about it while we were all in the car picking him up, it was the last time he ever mentioned it. My mom told him to not talk about it and that was that. Of course he was in 1st grade then. A few days later my mom asked me point blank if i thought I was a girl, I told her no, just something stupid I did. She asked again an I denied her, for straight and total fear. I was in 5th grade in the 80s, i would have been a social pariah, school kids would call me a freak, faggot, outcast, sissy, you name it. Weird though knowing my parents the way I do now, they would have excepted. The extended family would not have at all. I think in time mom wrote it off to being just experimentation. I never spoke about anything like that to her again. If i would have had the courage how much happier i might had been or how much worse, just always think back to this time. This by the way is the first time I have ever told anyone about this incident in my life. There are other times later with my wife, but I will save them for now. Does anyone else have these moments?
