How to handle the feelings of shame?

[tammy753]

Oh that's right you don't have to worry about an illness bankrupting you or deciding if the cost of treatment means having to work 10 more years.

[Stottie Girl]

Oh that's right you don't have to worry about an illness bankrupting you or deciding if the cost of treatment means having to work 10 more years.

No we don't have to worry about that but we do have a looooong waiting list to be seen. My current NHS trust list is 6.5 YEARS long! No option for us but to go private realistically however, we can sign up for shared care agreements which means (if the GP agrees) that the prescription costs are picked up by the NHS. I can then use that money for private diagnosis, referrals, endo appointments, orchie, hair transplants, vocal therapy and electrolysis ha ha! easy peasy 😬 I will also register for the gender treatment on NHS and start saving, average wait time for surgery is looking like 8 years or so but then it will be free, if I've managed to save up the funds before then I will go private but if not there is the certainty that i can get it for free.

[tammy753]

No we don't have to worry about that but we do have a looooong waiting list to be seen. My current NHS trust list is 6.5 YEARS long! No option for us but to go private realistically however, we can sign up for shared care agreements which means (if the GP agrees) that the prescription costs are picked up by the NHS. I can then use that money for private diagnosis, referrals, endo appointments, orchie, hair transplants, vocal therapy and electrolysis ha ha! easy peasy 😬 I will also register for the gender treatment on NHS and start saving, average wait time for surgery is looking like 8 years or so but then it will be free, if I've managed to save up the funds before then I will go private but if not there is the certainty that i can get it for free.

Thanks, Sharon! 🤣

[Stottie Girl]

Thanks, Sharon! 🤣

Oi, not you n'all! What the hell's going on in this place has there been a let's all pick on Sarah memo going round 🤣🤣

[Devlyn ✅]

Wait, you changed your name to Sharon? Nobody told me! 😀

[Stottie Girl]

Wait, you changed your name to Sharon? Nobody told me! 😀

Pack it in you!

[tammy753]

So I got my prescription!!! The Pharmacy I sent it to is closed... I have to wait until tomorrow.


I am scared I will get hassled at the pharmacy but all I can do is try.

[Laura Squirrel]

So I got my prescription!!! The Pharmacy I sent it to is closed... I have to wait until tomorrow.


I am scared I will get hassled at the pharmacy but all I can do is try.

Your pharmacy isn't open 24 hours?

I just remembered something from back in the day: When I was using another pharmacy, they had a note inside that had been typed up, and it said something about "Estrogen - Females only". I had to pay for it.  4 bucks. I didn't care. I asked about the stupid note, and they said that they were required to do it. I gave them a total death glare. I told them, quite firmly, to NEVER give me a note like that again. It stopped. I stayed with them until the K-Mart it was in closed down.

[tammy753]

Your pharmacy isn't open 24 hours?

No...Dang it!

[KathyLauren]

I gave them a total death glare. I told them, quite firmly, to NEVER give me a note like that again.

Heh-heh!  😁  Proper way to handle that!

[tammy753]

I have my Prescriptions...It was so easy why did I keep doing DIY for so long. One 30 minute meeting with a doctor and a trip to the pharmacy. And my insurance paid for 100% of the prescription.

My imagination was way worse than reality this time.

[KathyLauren]

My imagination was way worse than reality this time.

That is so often the way it is.  Way to go! 

[Lori Dee ✅]

90% of the things we worry about never happen.

Congratulations!

[tammy753]

Yeah I have a very vivid imagination, the pharmacist was super nice and so was the Doctor. I thought of all the worst possible thing that could happen.

[Sephirah]

Oh that's right you don't have to worry about an illness bankrupting you or deciding if the cost of treatment means having to work 10 more years.

No, hopefully one day you won't either. It's nice to call an ambulance without a bank loan.

[Petunia]

Tammy, I hope you are going OK

You talked about shame a lot. I never felt shame just embarrassment.

It's really dumb. I didn't choose my life it just was/is

I get embarrassed every time I go out as me. But if I can steady myself, I can get through it.

Today a young guy and two girls walked past me chanting "gay, gay, gay" under there breath so that I was the only person who could hear it.

I am ashamed that I didn't react but I was on my phone.  I'm not gay but I know so many people who are. WTF does that matter.

I should have stopped them and stood in their faces and said can't you tell the difference between someone who is trans and someone who is gay?

Then gone on to say but how do you know if someone is straight or gay. Or even male or female or in between.   

[Stottie Girl]

Tammy, I hope you are going OK

You talked about shame a lot. I never felt shame just embarrassment.

It's really dumb. I didn't choose my life it just was/is

I get embarrassed every time I go out as me. But if I can steady myself, I can get through it.

Today a young guy and two girls walked past me chanting "gay, gay, gay" under there breath so that I was the only person who could hear it.

I am ashamed that I didn't react but I was on my phone.  I'm not gay but I know so many people who are. WTF does that matter.

I should have stopped them and stood in their faces and said can't you tell the difference between someone who is trans and someone who is gay?

Then gone on to say but how do you know if someone is straight or gay. Or even male or female or in between.   

To be honest petunia, It's pointless confronting them it will just encourage them if they think they've hit a nerve. Morons.

[ChrissyRyan]

Consider taking the safest possible action, which includes ignoring, when possible.

[tammy753]

Tammy, I hope you are going OK

You talked about shame a lot. I never felt shame just embarrassment.

It's really dumb. I didn't choose my life it just was/is

I get embarrassed every time I go out as me. But if I can steady myself, I can get through it.

Today a young guy and two girls walked past me chanting "gay, gay, gay" under there breath so that I was the only person who could hear it.

I am ashamed that I didn't react but I was on my phone.  I'm not gay but I know so many people who are. WTF does that matter.

I should have stopped them and stood in their faces and said can't you tell the difference between someone who is trans and someone who is gay?

Then gone on to say but how do you know if someone is straight or gay. Or even male or female or in between.   

I am dealing with the same now in therapy. My therapist did get me on an antidepressant and then took a week off so I might have been too much for her!??! I have a plan right now to start Electrolysis in October. I need to work on my Agoraphobia and be ready to start living as Tammy when not working. This will be a rough few months but I am trying to brave it out. I figure it will be increasingly hard to hide all the changes in the spring and by summer it will be impossible. I am planning to move to a new state in 2028 and that will be a fresh start for me. Its a lot but I am excited\scared. I know that the next year may be filled with people being terrible to me but I honestly don't expect much else these days. Wow a long rambling post sorry.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Tammy, I hope you are going OK

You talked about shame a lot. I never felt shame just embarrassment.

It's really dumb. I didn't choose my life it just was/is

I get embarrassed every time I go out as me. But if I can steady myself, I can get through it.

Today a young guy and two girls walked past me chanting "gay, gay, gay" under there breath so that I was the only person who could hear it.

I am ashamed that I didn't react but I was on my phone.  I'm not gay but I know so many people who are. WTF does that matter.

I should have stopped them and stood in their faces and said can't you tell the difference between someone who is trans and someone who is gay?

Then gone on to say but how do you know if someone is straight or gay. Or even male or female or in between.   

Please try not to get embarrassed, its them that should be. I can tell you from nearly 30 years experience of this the best bet is to just walk past and pretend they don't exist. It is hard sometimes I know as many times I've bitten, but nothing changes. The kids I kinda brush off because they still need to learn, but adults that's harder to swallow. Please keep being you because that is the best thing ever and you are amazing for being able to do that.

Charlotte X