How do you respond to someone who insists its a sin to get a sex change?

[Alex201]

My parents insist it is a sin....and everytime I bring up my transsness I hear over and over again how I am going to hell and going down the wrong path.  How can I respond to that?

[Cindy]

It is obviously difficult when it is your parents. However I have a low tolerance for fools and religious bigots so I ignore them. In your case I would plan your life to start living it as you wish and if that means without the acceptance of your parents then that is the consequence..

Sorry

Cindy

[CaitJ]

By asking them if any other surgical procedure is a sin.

[Nero]

So, you've already come out to them? I'd say you've already taken a big step.

[Alex201]

So, you've already come out to them? I'd say you've already taken a big step.

Thanks   


Yes I have come out to them...obviously they are not  taking it well lol.

[Nero]

Thanks   


Yes I have come out to them...obviously they are not  taking it well lol.

Well, you're still pretty young and they still have high hopes lol. I was lucky. It was actually seen as an improvement. 

I'm taking it that they're pretty religious. They have all these years of hearing that homosexuality is a sin. And by extension, transsexuality. Sometimes explaining the difference helps.

[Nicky]

Well,  here are some options, whatever you do don't argue scripture, never works on these people,

I would say something like this

"ok, but I still love you despite how you feel about me. I appreciate your concern but hell is my choice and it does not reflect badly on you, but it will be a certainty if you reject or ostracise's me. My sin is between me and god and is not for you to judge. At the same time you can go on about it to me, but it won't change who I am. All the science in the world points to me not having a real choice in this despite you not understanding why. I understand you are scared and you fear what I am, but I am scared too. Does it make you feel better calling me a sinner, do you honestly think saying that will change me or is it going to make me grow to resent you and hate you? Are you doing this out of love and compassion, or out of fear and anger?  think about it, cause I am not the one yelling here foaming at the mouth"

Alternatively, and my personal favorite (but not a smart move if you are dependent) is just say "F ck off, blame your own twisted genetics for putting this curse on me" And leave it at that.

or
"why would it be a sin? Are you saying god made a mistake in making me trans, surely that is between me and god?"

or
"I don't believe in your god, why would I care? Your fictitious creator has no baring on my life"

or
"I'm sorry you feel this way, but I am in a lot of pain, being transgendered causes me a lot of pain. Please don't add to it by calling me a sinner. Yes it is scary for you, but it is also freaking scary for me too, I feel like I am going to lose my family here"

or
"your concerns are noted, pass the peas"


It might just be a case of head down, stay below the radar, work to get yourself out of there, then do what you like. Sometimes arguing with this sort of thing gets you nowhere. Have an escape plan.

[rejennyrated]

I have had this conversation - although not with my parents. I told the people concerned three things

1. "That same bible also tells us that for a mere human to judge others is also a sin. In the bible God clearly states that it is for him and him alone to decide who has and has not sinned."

2. "IF God chooses to convict me of sin I am sure he will do so fairly and after due consideration of ALL the circumstances. That I will accept. What I will NOT accept is being pre-judged by human beings who simply can not know everything, and as far as I am aware are NOT infallible."

2. "IF such a place as Hell exists, which I doubt, then as, according to your theory, most of my friends will be there and most of the people in heaven will be people with whom I have nothing in common I would rather be with my friends in hell than with a bunch of self righteous boring old farts in heaven. At least with my friends around me I have some chance to make a better existence, but surrounded for eternity by a load of self opinionated ignorant people who don't know half as much as they think and can't be bothered to TRY and understand me I have no chance... so for me your Heaven would be my Hell."

You might want to edit that last bit a little but you get the gist! Having at one point in my life been a lay preacher I am a bit inclined to give people, who misuse faith and scripture in that way, both barrels. Religion is too important to allow others to get away with using it as a tool to bully people. That's not being christian, its being a grad one pharisee and such people deserve to be exposed.

[Suzy]

I would not act in a way that would give them any more ammunition.  Don't be confrontational.  Let them think this out and see how shallow their own thinking is.  Just ask them some intelligent questions, such as:

-Why is it a sin to have corrective surgery for this, but not for any other birth defects?

-Why do you feel living as the person God made me to be undermines the salvation God gave me?

-This is so painful to me.  Doesn't the Bible teach that we are to bear one another's burdens?

I wish you the very best of luck!

[Cruelladeville]

I have an approach to godly types which starts this way.... 

Which God are we exactly talking about?

I mean there's just so many deity's out there....

So let's see.... shall we start with... Sahasranama – there are thousands to consider with this religion....lol Shiva....perhaps?

She might like the convert to femaleness with her zelots...

Then there are the Greek ones... Apollo, Athena, Pan, Zeus,

Or perhaps you're offending Odin...?

What if its Egyptian 'this almighty being'.. in which case....Aken, Heryshaf and Qetesh amongst many, many others can be in the frame.... maybe its the main man Ra you've pi##ed orf?

And according to Islam.... (the true religion after all).... it would have to be Alla you've upset?

Or maybe it should be Yahweh?

Even Neptune, or is it Poseidon if you worship deities of the sea....?

You see how darn confusing this whole God thing is.... 

So I guess you should ask them exactly 'which' God it is that you're offending.

And are they really sure they have the 'right' one, as over the centuries it's quite clear to me.... there are simply just so many to pick from....

And perhaps a better answer is that your God says its okay.... cause when you prayed and asked her she said so....

[meh]

Have they ever gotten a hair cut? "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." (Leviticus 19:27)

Do they eat pork? "...and the swine, though it divides the hoof, having cloven hooves, yet does not chew the cud, is unclean to you." (Leviticus 11:7)

Do they wear two kinds of cloth materials? "...do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear material woven of two kinds of material." (Leviticus 19:19)

Do they eat shrimp and lobster? "But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:10)

"They (shellfish) shall be an abomination to you; you shall not eat their flesh, but you shall regard their carcasses as an abomination." (Leviticus 11:11)

"Whatever in the water does not have fins or scales; that shall be an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:12)


If they say those laws don't apply anymore, ask them if they believe homosexuality is a sin because it's in Leviticus as well.  And where in the bible does it say it's a sin to get a sex change? Ask them to show you what verse and I'm sure they won't be able to find one. The only verse in the bible that is remotely close to "sex changes" is the verse about eunuchs, "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from [their] mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive [it], let him receive [it]."


To me, this isn't about faith. They're using it as an excuse to not talk about it with you. They need to work out their feelings and they need to be educated.

[Amazon D]

Say: God is love and love is God so we try to find a resting place for God / Love in our heart  .. I love you Mom!

[JessicaH]

That is absolutely horrible for them to say that! I personally am atheist but I don't can't fathom the idea that a god of any sort would be so vindictive as to keep part of you alive after death (soul?) just so you can be tortured for eternity or until your soul has been cleansed by fire. If that were the case, I'd have to say their god is a real A-hole.

For Christianity, hell is an idea that has been added onto over the years and really isn't mentioned in the bible. Modern ideas of hell come more from Dante's Infero and other fictional literature to which religionist have latched onto in order to use HELL as a tool of FEAR. I have always been appaled to hear children be told that if they don't follow the religion that they are being brainwashed to belive in, that their bodies and soals will roast in the fires off hell for eternity if they don't follow the "rules". It's siply child abuse as far as I'm concerned to say that to a child. I'll stop now as I get very angry jsut thinking about this.   

[cynthialee]

SImply say...."prove it".

[Janet_Girl]

It might be childish and sound flippant, but I just say "Whatever" and walk away.

[Sarah Louise]

You tell them that God forgives sin.

[cynthialee]

You tell them that God forgives sin.

WIN!

[Ashley Allison]

I used to be a Christian, but am not at all in any matter. But, I thought I might pop in and say a few things Alex... "Let the who has not sin cast the first stone." Isn't that a central dogma of the new testament, it is what Jesus said after all? Or, "Do not judge or you too will be judged" (Matthew 7:1).  You could also argue them from the angle of talking about god, rather than telling them quotes about good morals in that Jesus said... For example, isn't God an all knowing and all loving God? So, God must know how confused, how uncomfortable I am with me body, and how much mental and emotional pain I am in.  If he is all loving, wouldn't he want what is best for his child? Wouldn't he want the best thing for me? If they shot back that he made you your birth gender, which I think that they will, you could say back that if he made me this way he also made me trans.   
That being said Alex, it is nearly impossible to talk with religious people in order to change their religious beliefs.  I wish you the best of luck, and hopefully you are able to change their mind

[Mrs Erocse]

I would not act in a way that would give them any more ammunition.  Don't be confrontational.  Let them think this out and see how shallow their own thinking is.  Just ask them some intelligent questions, such as:

-Why is it a sin to have corrective surgery for this, but not for any other birth defects?

-Why do you feel living as the person God made me to be undermines the salvation God gave me?

-This is so painful to me.  Doesn't the Bible teach that we are to bear one another's burdens?

I wish you the very best of luck!

I agree with Krysti. It is dificult for you, being confrontational may make it much worse.
Erosce's parents and one of his brothers are Jehovahs Witnesses. Her father said it was a sin and we would be asking him to go against his religion to socialize with us. Erocse's brother an elder in his JW congregation did not speak to us at all. No scriptural information was attained from either as to why it is a sin. As Shayne said there are many, irrelevant scriptures no one lives by and would not impose on their own lives today.
I am sorry that you have to contend with the prehistoric irrationalilities of religion too. There are allot of nice things in this life. Sometimes we all have to deal with the pain of ignorance in people we love.  Our best wishes to you and sincere regards.
~Hugs~
Patty

[sarahla]

You could just toss the ball back to them, so to speak.  For every negative comment hurled at you, simply change a couple of words and deflect the anger back to them.  I am becoming an expert in this category, although it is still hard.  I sadly understand what you are going through firsthand, just not so much with my parents but with another family member.

* As to religion, God is about love, not hatred.  Jesus embraced Mary Mandolin, not threw stones at her.

* Who made your parents judge, jury, and executioner?  Did they personally talk with God?  How do they know that God did not approve?  God knows everything and is perfect, so if he did not intend for a biological diversity, then he would not have made transgendered people.

* Pushing forward, do your parents drive or have been in any type of motor vehicle?  Have they ever flown on an airplane?  These things are sacrilegious.   "If God meant humans to fly, He would have given them wings."  Oh, he gave them the ability to create wings?  Okay, he gave them the ability to stand up to bigots and get the courage to transition too!

* It is up to parents to love their children and stand by them no matter what, not throw hatred their way.

* With your hatred that you show towards others, it is not "I" that will go to hell, but sadly "you," as I am not the one hating and having black clouds hanging over my head, but you.

The list goes on, but you have to be strong.  Sadly, it is your parents, which makes it harder, at any age.  Partners are hard too.

Maybe one day, they will come around.  Let us all hope for the best.