I would like to make a little comment here, seeing as I've seen a lot of arguments back and forth between the women on the site.
I'm a guy.
I've always been a guy.
I have a vagina.
I'm still a guy.
I didn't "become" a guy when I took hormones.
I didn't "become" a guy when I had hysto.
I didn't "become" a guy when I had top surgery.
And I wouldn't "become" a guy by having my vagina removed and replaced with a "fully functional" penis complete with testicles and all (if that were possible).
I am, and always have been a guy.
I also happen to be trans.
For me, I do not "have" to have bottom surgery to be at peace with my body.
If you do, then that's your need, not my need.
What's under my pants isn't your business, nor is what's under your pants my business at all.
Just like I shouldn't tell you to just make your peace with what you got you don't get to tell me how I should feel about what I got.
A woman is a woman is a woman, whether she has a penis, a vagina, a magical portal to Narnia, a beer tap or anything else under her pants.
A man is a man is a man, whether he has a penis, a vagina, a stairway to heaven, a purple cow or anything else under his pants.
And the same applies to the non binary people, though I suspect some of 'em would much prefer a portal to Narnia than some of the other options.
SRS isn't a cure to "insert term here", it's a cure for those who "need" it, by whatever word they define themselves and their gender identity.
My gender identity is not in my pants, nor does the contents of my pants "validate" my gender identity.
For me SRS is not a cure in any sense of the word and I would shudder to think that the gatekeeper was someone who was of the opinion that I should have to have a profound need for SRS to be able to access hormones, top surgery, hysterectomy or getting my name changed and getting recognized as who I am.
It's an utterly terrifying thought.
I already feel pressured enough to conform to societal standards of masculine behaviour and need for a penis to be considered a guy.
I do not think that all post-op men or women would pressure me further, but some undeniably would, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, to feel pressured to pretend to be someone they aren't.
I already did two dozen years of that and it almost killed me.
We already lie and/or tell selective truths to our current gatekeepers and try desperately to get what each and one of us needs to feel whole by whatever means necessary at times.
If we all had the same needs, maybe we wouldn't have to fudge the truth or fake our way into what we needed because there could easily be put up a "one size fits all" plan for transition, but we don't all have the same needs and we don't all fit into some neat little pidgeon-hole.
Yes, The definition of Susan's states;
Transsexual: a person who is mentally one gender, but has the body of the other. They desire to live and be accepted as a member of the mental gender, this is generally accompanied by the strong desire to make their body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatments.
Nowhere does that define which gender options are available to fit the definition nor does it say "always" or "without fail", it says "generally".
Generally means "usually" or "commonly".
It means that "most often" those that are transsexual will "want" to bring their own bodies "as close as possible" to matching their gender identity, whatever that gender identity may be.
Nowhere does that definition say that SRS is a requirement to fit the definition, in fact, it doesn't define which surgeries are "wanted" either.
You know, this ongoing debate on trans v.s. trans v.s. woman/man v.s. etc is exhausting to me.
Extremely exhausting.
You know what I want?
I want trans, as a term, to not be such a big deal.
I'm a guy, I'm trans. To me it means that I was born with a female body and will have to live with some lingering effects of that for the rest of my life. It carries no more weight to my personal identity than the fact that I'm tall, or the fact that my hands are big, or the fact that I'm nearsighted, or the fact that I'm right handed, or the fact that I was born in 1982.
All of these things are simple little things that are a part of "what" I am and thus have an effect on who I am.
I don't care whether the suffix is "sexual" or "gender".
I don't.
I don't see why it should be such a big deal.
Sometimes, I feel as though those that think that using "trans" makes me less of a man are in some way making me less of a man.
Or that, to them, I'm less of a man.
I am no less a man than my husband is, or my father is, just cause I was born with a vagina.
I'm no less of a man with it than I would be without it.
To suggest that using the word "trans" (whichever suffix) implies that I'm less of a man suggests that being trans makes me less of a man (and makes trans women, or women of transsexual history, less of a woman for it).
It bothers me to feel like I have to go "no, vagina or penis, I'm still a man, I've always been a man, I haven't become a man through transition, I AM a man" to other people who are also in my position, or have been, or will be.
It bothers me to feel like I have to say that on a trans support site.
It bothers me to no end.
I mean,...
Everyone in my life already gets it. They all know me as a man. They all see me as a man.
My 10 year old daughter gets it.
My husband gets it and he sees me naked every night.
Everyone gets it.
I'm a guy.
I'm a man.
Penis or no penis.
Why does it feel like among those that, in this tiny aspect, should be my peers, that I still feel like I have to explain this sometimes?
/rant
