I would never judge someone adversely for choosing to keep their gender history, or any other personal matter, a closed book. I recommend to any young pre-transition or transitioning friends to strongly consider it, especially if they want to live or work in a trans-hostile location or profession. I think everyone should have that right to privacy.
That said, I love being out, and I know I have made a difference in hundreds of peoples' lives and attitudes as a living, walking, smiling educational force. "Here is an example, folks, of a real life trans woman- we are normal, we are happy, we are just like you. And there is nothing to fear."
In any kind of social stigma situation, society changes as people (not ALL, just enough) people successfully choose to defy the stigma and educate and exemplify and cultivate allies. It has been that way forever, for all things that human societies vilify and misunderstand. It has worked for the disabled, for the mentally handicapped, for sufferers of depression, anxiety, erectile dysfunction, for gay, lesbian, and bisexual people, for people of color, for atheists, for people of religion, for recovered alcoholics and poly drug addiction, for the eating disordered, the list goes on and on. Every person has a right to their privacy, and an absolute right to not be mistreated, discriminated against, etc due to their medical condition, genetics, etc etc.
At the same time, those rights are won in practice by people who are out there, on behalf of the larger group who just want to live their lives like everybody else. And yes, chosing to be out when one has the option to not be, is a major decision and there is no right answer for everybody. Men and women of trans history are very good at making major, life changing decisions - we have to be - that are right for ourselves.
If someone choses to be an advocate or an activist, they probably have the burning desire to make a difference in that way. If one has the choice, it would be foolish to trade away the joys of just being one of the normal unstigmatized folks who can blend, for someone who sticks out for something that still carries a stigma, if your heart isn't in it and your personality is not compatible with that kind of highly public life.
One of the neat things I'm seeing more of, is people who have happily lived 'stealth' for many years, and achieved some level of prominence, making a conscious decision later in life to come out publicly about their history and experiences. People like that have made a giant difference in other areas where society stigmatized things that should not have been stigmatized, and I see it happening with transgender issues today and applaud it. They benefit the many others who are not public but whose lives are affected by it (stigma/prejudice/general cluelessness).
