I hate the word Sir

DoctorInternet333 · February 12, 2013, 04:51:36 AM

The one thing that seems to get to me down more than anything else is when, in a shop, or a restaurant, or somewhere like that, the assistant keeps repeating sir after nearly every sentence. I don't mind it being uttered once or twice, but after every sentence? Sometimes he or she might have said 15 or 20 sirs for one transaction. I feel like saying to them, 'stop saying sir, I'm not the prime minister' and 'I hate being a man'. Would I be laughed at, probably not, but it wouldn't solve the problem because it would happen elsewhere again, so what's the point!? It would upset me even more if I retaliated. I hope that others can relate to what I'm saying.

FullThrottleMalehem · February 14, 2013, 05:20:49 PM

If I could I would gladly switch with you. I get ma'amed or lumped in with "ladies" when going anywhere with a female friend the same way/frequency. I mostly hate that society is so fixated on sex, gender roles, and so obsessed with knowing what gender or sex someone is.

RAY · February 14, 2013, 08:46:47 PM

OMG! The same things happened all the time but I not going out presenting as female mod. Just find it annoying to deal with it!

DoctorInternet333 · February 16, 2013, 03:14:17 AM

Yes FTM, if only we could swap genders $:-\$ One thing I know is this belief is not going to go away, after having it strongly for 7 years now. Sometimes it's very hard to deal with. I think the option of going further to change myself into the sex I'm should have been will become stronger in time, perhaps I'll even do it, but at the moment I'm going to have to put up with the word sir. I don't look the most masculine man the world has ever known, so it might be easier for me to pull off than some. All I know is that I don't fit into the role that men are suppose to fit into, and although I prefer women to men sexually, I can't take on the mans role to ask them out, it just doesn't work for me, so I don't bother. It just feels completely wrong

It's so hard to talk about these things with people because I don't want to offend or to cause further problems for myself. It's good to be able to share some of my thoughts on this forum.

Cassandra · March 22, 2014, 09:31:45 AM

I know exactly how you feel, huny, I hate that word! It always makes me feel bad, and like you, I'm tempted to ask them to not call me that. Another one I don't like is "mister"

Sophia Hawke · March 22, 2014, 09:37:22 AM

I honestly think some people do it to be dicks. Esp if you are wearing makeup, have highly visible boobs(real or not). I really don't think I was called sir too often pre-transition now I get it all the time.

FalseHybridPrincess · March 22, 2014, 10:21:47 AM

Ι feel exactly like that...
It would always hurt me but now everytime I hear it I want to cry , I save the tears till I get home...

I cant really explain it, I wonder why does it hurt so much...
And when the opposite happens I get so happy...
I wonder why...

swatch · March 22, 2014, 06:44:33 PM

I have no serious problem being sir'd, because on the side of other people, it is all about perception. If you are an MtF trans, it is all about history and progress. However, it can hurt to be sir'd if you expect your transition to have a positive effect to the point you think you should pass everytime.
It is all about perception. Remember that the shop assistant os bound to what he/she sees. You are more than that, not just a man, not just a woman. You can work on it, work on your appearance, work on your body, work on everything you want, to have better osmosis with yourself.

Tyler · March 22, 2014, 07:20:01 PM

I get the same, just the other way round. I wish I got called sir. I hope you get better luck and be seen as a Ms. Eventually people will be nice and see you for the women you are.

Sophia Hawke · March 22, 2014, 11:52:19 PM

Quote from: switchy on March 22, 2014, 06:44:33 PM
I have no serious problem being sir'd, because on the side of other people, it is all about perception. If you are an MtF trans, it is all about history and progress. However, it can hurt to be sir'd if you expect your transition to have a positive effect to the point you think you should pass everytime.
It is all about perception. Remember that the shop assistant os bound to what he/she sees. You are more than that, not just a man, not just a woman. You can work on it, work on your appearance, work on your body, work on everything you want, to have better osmosis with yourself.

Nah, if you are obv a trans women, wearing makeup etc, its just rude to sir you. At the very least use your name or a gender neutral pronoun.

DoctorInternet333 · April 01, 2014, 08:03:50 AM

Well, over a year on and I still hate being called 'Sir' but I think I've learnt to live with it more. I know I can just shrug it off 5 to 10 minutes later, so even if it jars in my mind I just think of that, keep myself calm and carry on. I haven't decided to try a full sex change yet but I feel I am on the way. Its a difficult thing to deal with, I hate the stereotypical roles that men are suppose to have, I know within myself that I'm really a woman deep down, and I'm not letting go of that fact.

Avery.u2205 · April 30, 2014, 06:24:15 PM

I've had times when I have to remind myself that the person saying 'sir' referring to me; do you have this sometimes? I either don't notice them, or start looking around for the man they are talking to. Do you ever do this?

Ms Grace · April 30, 2014, 06:28:27 PM

Before I transitioned some guy referred to me as a gentleman, I replied with "oh, I'm no gentleman I can assure you!"

But yes, I hated being sirred too. In Australia "mate" amongst men is common. I hated that with a passion!!

apriljo · May 07, 2014, 10:53:50 PM

I hated it too. Never liked it even before I figured everything out. I am not knighted, stop calling me that! The people at my local Subway Sandwiches were the worst. You could walk away from there with a beating of 30 "sir"s in the 10 minutes to get your sandwich. It took them 2-3 months of me presenting full time to figure it out too. Now they treat me like I'm their best friend. $:-\$

kelly_aus · May 07, 2014, 11:14:58 PM

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 30, 2014, 06:28:27 PM
Before I transitioned some guy referred to me as a gentleman, I replied with "oh, I'm no gentleman I can assure you!"

But yes, I hated being sirred too. In Australia "mate" amongst men is common. I hated that with a passion!!

On the flip side, I ain't no lady either..

I got the 'mate' thing on a phone call this morning.. I didn't pull him up on it.. I'll keep that for when I see him next. I think, 'I'm not your friend, so I'm not your mate. And even if I was your friend, I still wouldn't be your mate.' will do as an opener..

solexander · July 23, 2014, 08:06:08 PM

I feel you so much

I don't get it as much anymore, but I used to get called ma'am so much that I hated leaving the house- one of the worst experiences for me was when I was going to get new glasses mid-transition but pre-t. The woman who was testing my eyes for the first part of it kept saying things like "oh, you go girl!" and "yes ma'am!" and when my mom (she's actually a trans woman, and so she feels my pain a lot on this kinda thing) intervened and tried to helpfully say "Oh, the preferred name is 'Alex'..." hoping she would get the memo but instead she goes "aw yeah, she's a big girl, she could've told me that!" and it was just freaking awful. I think she thought I was a lot younger than I actually am, too, because I was 17 at the time but she kept talking to/about me like I was 12 or something. But yeah, I still get paranoid every time I get called "man" since it sounds so close to "ma'am"...

LoriLorenz · November 05, 2014, 01:08:58 PM

I have been both sir'd and ma'am'd and I don't try to present as either! I was confused by the former and laughed at the latter (privately, not in their face). If I were to walk out today, purposely dressing to present as male, I would be aghast to be ma'am'd and vice versa. So I hear ya, frustrating! (I can relate to your multiples in 10 minuted through a slightly different avenue, which makes it clear to me how absolutely nerve-jangling it must be for you to get mis-gendered!)

Monika1223 · April 14, 2015, 03:10:01 PM

I totally understand when they call me sir I feel like turning ghetto and saying "Bitch I'm a princess"

mmmmm · April 14, 2015, 03:21:58 PM

Use the anger and hatred you feel when that happens to push yourself forward... constantly... for doing more and more steps which will help you for successful transition.

sparrow · April 18, 2015, 11:38:34 AM

Ugh. I went out presenting as female, and actually interacted with people for the first time the other day, and had to cross a border to get home. I've never been called sir so many times in a single interaction! It was incredible! When she asked me what I was bringing across the border, and I started telling her about the clothes that I bought, she quickly informed me that she only wanted do know if I had fresh produce, drugs, firearms. Sir. It felt like she was trying to convince me, or herself, of something.

News:

I hate the word Sir

Tyler

kelly_aus

mmmmm