Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on July 25, 2014, 08:55:42 AM
Suzy,
I'm not saying that I'm not absolutely happy for them, and that it isn't wonderful that they finally know who they are. All I meant is that they represented something very significant to me: The idea that male and female were just boundaries. I am disappointed that what they stood for was just another front for more dysphoria. And also, I'm sick of transgender models-it doesn't say good things about our community.
OK. I think I get it.
And I need to say that it troubles me.
From my own personal life, a lot of people have told me how great it is that I, or trans people in general, "break down boundaries" between male and female.
That upsets me. Really upsets me.
Like treating our condition and finding our identities somehow makes a political statement for the rest of the world.
That puts a lot of pressure on us, doesn't it?
I certainly feel it. People, cis and trans alike, want us to transition in such a way that affirms their worldview that it's OK for men/women to express their gender in whatever way they like.
That's unfair to us. Really unfair. We transition because we need to - because it becomes too painful not to show the world and ourselves who we really are. We don't transition to make a political statement or affirm a worldview.
And the fact is that an awful lot of women and men (most? nearly all?) are comfortable embracing at least some of the traditional attributes ascribed to their gender. Those that don't will always feel like they're not part of the "mainstream" whatever that is.
To charge non-binary folk with affirming their choices and providing them with a role model to deliver an it's-OK-for-me-so-it's-OK-for-you sort of message is asking an awful lot of us.
Especially since so many non-binary folk are trying out various presentations that allow us to feel comfortable in our world and in our skins. And so many, like me, end up for reasons of our own opting for a gender expression that fits within the binary mainstream.
I do not apologize for that. It's simply not my job (nor any other non-binary person's) to be the poster person for gender non-comformity.
I do apologize, though, for my rant. This seems to have struck a nerve.