Long it has been, since I let this thread live.
And Asche, if you cannot climb into the treehouse, I will gladly carry you here.
Why I resurect it, besides it having my transition in it (thats copywritten by the way), is because in the other parts of the section, I am not likely to talk about my feelings, and in the creatures thread, its more by analogy.
I feel very sad and somewhat guilty about having abandoned everyone here, I had my reasons at the time, sanity being one of them. But I regret completely bowing out like that.
And at the moment, partly due to my hormone levels and just being me, I am pretty much a raw nerve. The sensitivity is pretty strong, and after my shot, I can be quite emotional.
At the moment, I am furious with myself for misidentifying Asche as a hedghog instead of a groundhog, part of that is just working 16 hours a day and having a brain fart, but I should have gotten this right. Somehow it got confused in my mind.
So bear with me. I have a lot to say about gender, specifically nonbinary and full transition, and non transition as well, the rebels version of NB lol. But it all goes so much deeper than that.
Emotions are funny things, they can wreck me, and I am capable of great rage. Rarely will it turn on someone else, it has before though. Rage is the reason for my exile, when it came, it was a consequence of my own actions and nothing I wanted, but I am on guard against it.
So, like thinking out loud thread, this is where I think I might just dump and talk and feel as it relates to Susans and my relationship to this place and the people in it I have missed so much.
Its been a long journey. Everything I was told would happen, didn't. But it has come with a cost, for sure.
Hugs, all.