Got fitted for a wig on Saturday. We liked one that matches my natural hair (what there is of it) pretty well, and another that has the right length and style but isn't my color. They ordered one with the right style and color and I expect to buy it on Saturday. Once I get it -- and get the courage to actually wear it -- I'll have to run out and buy some cute barrettes to go with it. (I mean, what's the point of having a full head of hair if you can't have fun with it?)
But -- looking at myself in a wig just blew me away! I look
so different, it's uncanny. It's disturbing, but that's to be expected, since in my heart of hearts I hate any kind of change. (I really freaked out when I shaved off my beard back in August and again in December.) I also have a much easier time convincing/deluding myself that I might look female.
I'll also have to come to terms with not being all that good-looking. I mean, I knew that would happen, since my appearance hasn't exactly improved with age, but I guess I mostly just don't see myself when I look at myself in the mirror, except when something changes like this.
Next on my list is more feminine-looking glasses. (My trans man fashion advisor insists on this
) Then some jewelry. Fun, I suppose, but pretty scary. Maybe by the summer I'll be ready to tell people to treat me as female. (I'm a long way from having the nerve to say "I'm a woman," even to myself.)
