Wow, what a heart felt response from all of you! I have shed many tears just hearing all of your concerns and compassions, it is so evident that many of you have dealt with this issue several times over.
I think that I have some good news to share but first let me bail out my wife. She has not made me try to put Anne aside, that was all my doing. She is fully supportive of Anne, she just had some end point constraints that she couldn't handle and made me promise not to cross them. Anne in my life has been growing and filling out so much and so fast that I realized that I am quickly losing control of it all, if I ever really had control in the first place. I came to realize that if I don't stop now, I will not be able to keep the promises I made to her. This is the first time that I have ever realized that I was out of control about anything, and it scared me. Anne had to go to protect my wife from me not being able to stop.
Well it only took a week to realize the truth that Joanne mentioned, "We both know that you cannot (stop)". It took several days and a lot of talking and crying but we came to the conclusion that neither one of us can handle a relationship that does not have Anne in it. Our plan now is to sit back and enjoy, or at least survive, whatever comes about. I still do not like not being in control but I am scheduling time with my therapist to work that one through.......and I am beginning to look into what it takes to survive full transition (whatever that means).
Thank you all once again for being there for me! Cindy, you were brutally honest but it had to be said and that helped my wife to see what was at stake. Michelle, thanks for reminding me to "Try to be mindful of your state and behaviors". It was touch and go there for the first couple of days. Kind of scared me to see how close to doing really stupid things I was. By the way, love your new look.
Anne
