Cindy,
OMG!! See what you've started Cindy? I'm being barraged with folks lining up behind your gentle ummm suggestions. You all don't make it easy to procrastinate around here.
Quote from: Tessa James on April 12, 2017, 12:02:20 AM
I guess you and I will have to go out together then Jeanette. I'm coming over the Coast Range to your Willamette Valley on Sunday. Let's go to the mall downtown girlfriend. You can wear whatever you have or we can find something for you.
You would have to go and say that Tessa wouldn't you? You even have Randy urging me to accept. All I can say right now is maybe. As with the last time you came out this way, your invitation is awfully tempting. My inner girl tells me to go for it and I want to. I can't commit to it as my sister's doctor called last night to say she will not be coming home for at least 3 - 4 days. That makes her release possibly this weekend. I will have to play it by ear. We shall see. okay?
Quote from: ElizabethK on April 12, 2017, 02:19:06 AM
Oh hell the old self acceptance thing again... If you were to see my therapist she thinks that self acceptance is paramount to ever being happy, her thinking is because if we don't have self acceptance will we ever be pretty enough?, lose enough weight?, have the right hair?, the right shape?, maybe we just won't ever be "Trans enough"....you can see where no self acceptance will take you...it certainly took me there...but with self acceptance comes the joy of just being.
Hugs,
Liz
I know, I know Liz, I can get stuck here forever if I let those doubts and fears have sway over me. Sneaking out under the cover of darkness and driving around en femme is easy. Being out in broad daylight or in a public place is terrifying. But I do realize I will have to do it someday and more than just occasionally. I was hoping to delay that until more people know about me.
Quote from: Shy on April 12, 2017, 03:28:36 AM
Hope your sister is o.k. Jeanette. I must be a worry for you on top of everything.
Sadie (not so shy anymore:) )
Thank you Sadie. Yes, I do worry about my sister. I love all my sisters. I lived with this one for many years after I moved up to Oregon and was looking for employment. I slept in their living room in a 2 bedroom apartment with her , her husband and 2 sons. About the time I was working and about ready to find my own place her husband died of a heart attack and I became the breadwinner. I've been supporting here ever since. Her sons are barely able to support themselves let along take care of their mom. Over the years I've watched her health decline steadily and I sometimes feel I am on a dearth watch for her. I suppose in many ways that is true. When my mom was alive and living with us too I once told my uncle that I felt I was just waiting for the two of them to die so I could live my own life. That is a horrible thing to say I know but it feels so true at times.
Quote from: jentay1367 on April 12, 2017, 09:09:25 AM
For you to sacrifice being yourself for your sisters sake must make her terribly important in your world. It would seem she supercedes you. I don't know if I could or ever have loved one so much. That to me almost seems altruism bordering on martyrdom.
Jen, See above response. yes she is important to me. I have already lost my mom, another sister and have one sister that doesn't speak to me anymore.
Quote from: HappyMoni on April 12, 2017, 09:43:37 AM
Jeanette,
I love your new avatar. Next picture I would add only one thing. I would like to see your smile. Other than that you got it!
Fear of going out is so hard to deal with. I would never minimize how difficult it is to do. You may just have to do it without paying attention to that fear for a brief period. One foot in front of another, keep your eyes on the prize. I think you will find it freeing. Good luck Girl!
Moni
Monica,
Thank you for the compliment. I'm not so sure of that wig style though. I decided to give it a try last night and put it as my avatar to see what others here thought about it. So far you are the only one to weigh in on it. I'm a little torn on wearing it too due to it being a wig I bought for my older sister to wear when her hair fell out from radiation and chemo therapy when we found out she had cancer. It's cut and color was much like her own hair. Alas she never got to use it and I kept it. I knew someone would say something about a smile. :-)
Quote from: RandyL on April 12, 2017, 10:07:08 AM
It really helps to have support from somebody else when you go out. Tessa's offer sounds really nice -- I recommend taking her up on it.
Thank you everyone for all the comments and encouragement. I'm working on it. Really I am.
Hugs,
Jeanette