Help me cut my beard.

[Daniellekai]

I hate it, only grew it to begin with because my girlfriend (now ex) liked it. But now it's part of my identity (at least from the point of view of other people), if I cut it, it'll be viewed as a radical change, and may even raise suspicions that I might be transitioning, worse than that though, they'd be right! I've only got my big toe out of the closet, and I'm of course planning getting all the way out, but I'm not capable of the all at once 🌈 style coming out, I need to do it one step at a time, and this is the next one.

I have a feeling HRT is going to screw up my schedule, but so be it, for some reason it's ok if I'm not entirely the one in control of it/it's a very gradual thing, but in this issue, I'm the one holding the clippers, and it's gotta come off all at once... If I don't do it now it'll be harder later. This is sort of me standing on a ledge and yelling "I don't want to do it, I swear! C'mon, give me a reason!" Lmao

[EdLynn]

I had my beard for 36 years then shaved it off. People change their looks all the time. If you really need an excuse, just say it was itchy!

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[Alora]

Try going from a full beard to a goatee?!?


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[Laurie]

  Hi Danielle,

  I  had a mustache for almost 20 years, it helped with my male disguise. I had had it for so long I didn't want to shave it off butlLipstick looks bad with facial hair.  I wanted to wear makeup so something had to go so off it came.

Off with the beard!!!

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Soli]

and may even raise suspicions that I might be transitioning

I realize now to what extent people really don't have that kind of thoughts. Really, it's just not something that comes to their mind. I sometimes feel I have to specify I'm trans even if wear mascara, long hair and women's clothing. It's the kind of thoughts WE have, not the cis, unless they know a trans.

[Sarah.VanDistel]

I had a thick beard for most of my adult life. I did shave every 2 or 3 days and my blue shadow was very obvious. After some sessions of electrolysis, now it only appears at the philtrum and under the mandibula and I plan to get rid of it really soon.
People react to change in very different ways. From those who won't even notice to those who will be annoyingly curious, in my experience you may encounter every kind of reaction. Have an answer prepared for the annoying people... Mine was just something along: "Don't take it wrong, but It's my own business." lol One thing I can confirm: after you get rid of the blue shadow, your face will definitely look different and you will make people feel ambivalent... "Is this a woman? Is this a teenager?" After puberty, the blue shadow (and a fortiori a beard) are an important clue for people to gender us.
I felt that the angst generated by this change was well worth it, considering how happier I felt afterwise! So in your place, I would sure go for it! Courage!

Hugs, Sarah

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[Ashley3]

...and may even raise suspicions that I might be transitioning, worse than that though, they'd be right! ...

I realize it's easy for me to state the following rhetorical question because I don't know your particular situation, locale, interpersonal dynamics and all that, but... If it does raise suspicions, is there anything really wrong with that?

And like others have hinted at, I'm not certain it will beyond appear to be some new life change... it is not unheard of for men to tire of beards. I had a manager once who is very male... strong kind guy, had a total Paul Bunyan thing going on LoL... one day didn't have it anymore. I'd be a millionaire if I got a dollar each time I saw a guy who had a long term beard get rid of it one day.

So I mean, if you have pink nail polish on as a new thing on the same day you take off the beard, yeah, someone may notice but if you're otherwise unchanged... I'm doubtful a beard removal alone will look more than "it's summer and going to be hot and I'm just tired of this thing" sort of thing... and I'm not suggesting you fib.

...I've only got my big toe out of the closet...

The metaphor you use there is humorous. 

Cheers,
Ashley

[Shy]

I had a beard almost down to my waist, shaving it off was one of the hardest parts of my transition to date. Because it was so long I did it in stages until it was about an inch long and then I knew I was ready to zap the thing off.

It's hard because it's a line of defence, a way of hiding your true identity not only from yourself, but also from others.
My own personal experience was that I felt a bit odd for a few days as I became used to a face I hadn't seen in forty years, followed by complete relief. I can't stress how much better I felt having not to hide anymore, that the mask had been removed and I was free to move forward.

So when you're ready, just go for it. It's something you need to do in your own time. You will gain a surprising amount of strength from it. I know it's not easy but hey, you get to play with makeup and all that fun stuff 

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[coldHeart]

I had a beard of various styles for nearly 30 years it was my mask to his behind then one day thought what do it look like underneath that it had been so look I forgot what the real me looked like so cut it off, straight away the wife hated it so I grow it all back then six months go I was looking in the mirror putting lippy on then it dawned on me like LAURIE said I looked stupid so there & then I cut it all off along with all my body hair even waxed my eyebrows ( wife was not too pleased but tough) it all stayed off since, what made me smile was at a recent motor bike outing people I normally ride with didn't even recognise me ( also drip dyed my hair blue) but it that's Beard not you JUST CUT THE DARN THING OFF if you decided you hate it just grown it back.

[KathyLauren]

I had a beard for years.  Like many others here, it was part of my male disguise.

Once I came out to my wife and decided that I had to start transitioning, getting rid of the beard was the first thing to do.  I just shaved it off cold turkey.

The folks at the community coffee group were a bit startled.  One lady didn't recognize me and thought that my wife had gotten a new man.  My beard had been pretty white, so I just told them that it had been making me look too old, that I was going for a younger look.

No one thought anything of it, other than what I told them.  They were still surprised when I announced my transition months later.

[jentay1367]

if I cut it, it'll be viewed as a radical change, and may even raise suspicions that I might be transitioning, worse than that though, they'd be right!

Really? What are you? Amish or something?

[Daniellekai]

Really? What are you? Amish or something?

Not exactly, it's a very different religion called paranoid.

[Nooms]

Do you remember the trans girl who won the Eurovision last year? She had a full beard and presented as a woman...amazing and inspirational, EMBRACE THE FUZZ lol...

[Thessa]

Conchita Wurst is no trans girl. Thomas Neuwirth, a gay man, created her and he announced a few months ago that he has to "kill" her and concentrate more on performing as a man.

[jentay1367]

Not exactly, it's a very different religion called paranoid.

So let me get this straight. You're so over the top "guy" that if you shave off your facial hair, your contemporaries and peers may think you're TS?

[Barb99]

Shave it! They may not recognize you, but no one will think your trans. At least not yet, that comes down the road with the pony tail! 

[Nooms]

Conchita Wurst is no trans girl. Thomas Neuwirth, a gay man, created her and he announced a few months ago that he has to "kill" her and concentrate more on performing as a man.

I did not know that lol. I only heard about him in the first place through a friend. Oh well 😊

[Daniellekai]

Shave it! They may not recognize you, but no one will think your trans. At least not yet, that comes down the road with the pony tail! 

This already exists, although I wrap it back through to be a bun.

[Daniellekai]

So let me get this straight. You're so over the top "guy" that if you shave off your facial hair, your contemporaries and peers may think you're TS?

More like I've already taken enough steps that continuing to represents a willful disregard for appearing female, the worst offence to "man"kind.

[theqnoumenon]

I also have a well-grown beard and I think I understand what you're feeling, and cutting it off is one of the things I want to do sometime when I get back to my country. This feeling appeared too and now I'm also worried about the people asking questions and trying to figure out the reasons...
I agree with most of the said in the posts here and you don't have to feel obliged to give any explanation; nonetheless, if you, as me right now, are not prepared to face this and won't be in the short term, you could say that the barber ruined your beard and decided to cut it off entirely. Just a silly idea   ~