Quote from: Allison S on June 17, 2018, 05:14:45 PM
I guess I'm realistic, I know I live in a cloudy world and when it shines, it's not so bad. [emoji4]
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Very true but should read the other way round - its a shiny world and there are clouds sometimes but we know it will be shiny again soon. We just help them get out of the way.
To illustrate this point, I have been trying to get agreement with my brothers about telling my parents that I'm their daughter etc etc. We had the meeting tonight as in a previous post from me, and we sorted out power of attorney blah blah blah to look after my parents and what their new 'Will' entailed. All nice and caring stuff and we all agreed on sharing all the responsibility with veto over financial actions.
Then at the end they cleared the table of coffee cups plates etc, which surprised me as they aren't domestically minded... and told me that as Mum and Dad were concerned about me and my recent erratic behaviour (I can admit I have been gently stirring things slowly to get progress on telling M&D), they had decided to act without me there (As they didn't know how I would react) and gently went through everything I had told them about my 50 years of denial, self abuse, alcohol, stealing, suicide attempts GD etc and gave them more info off the web as well. Surprisingly to me my Mum said she wasn't surprised, Dad took it in but wasn't particularly happy (he's too old school) but it seems one parent is on my side at least. Dad wouldn't take calls from me to wish him happy Fathers day last weekend, now I know why.
I cried in the pub for about 30 minutes, although a bit upset they didn't tell me, I could understand why. OMG, the millstone around my neck suddenly got so very much lighter. They have also told my nephews and nieces, all of which twigged very quickly and were OK with it all especially the girls.
So, I should have trusted those that love me more and not be so wary of asking for help, in this case it was given without my consent but Im OK with that fully, in these circumstances. Mum wants to come down and see me very soon and they (one brother or another) will bring her in a few weeks.
So, for this thread, it seems that for me I need to be more accepting and trusting and not to expect the worst outcome always. If it happens it happens and you deal with it, but go for it with a smile (I did a lot of that between the sobs) and people will warm to you.
My brothers didn't know what to expect (hence clearing table) but it seems a possibility was for me to be angry at them, I told them I'm not like that any more. Mind you I did sit there and watch them both eat enormous charred Gammon steaks 2 eggs and chips (still a favourite of mine..), which was annoying as I had already had my lean chicken breast salad at home, and I was crying and salivating at the same time - not a pretty sight - but I did refuse several offers of chips (French Fries) as I really am going to loose weight this time.
So posting this on my thread as well, but I am realising that those negative thoughts about how people will react are just thoughts, and should be let go, people can and usually do respond in wonderful ways to help us.
Enough from me anyway (excuse spelling as I'm still blowing nose...)
Hugz
Katie