I'm just curious how many of you would have rather been born CIS.

[herekitten]

My journey has indeed been insanely interesting. It has given me insight into a part of life that I, otherwise, would have been ignorant about.

But after all is said and done, my preference would be to have been born genetically female. (The only drawback being that I may not have met my husband and that would be a moment of great indescribable sadness to me; the thought of which I do not like to think about -- but I would never have met him or would I??.)

[Tatiana 79]

Dear Ellen
Gosh I feel we are so similar in some ways but on the path we are at opposite ends. I feel great respect for
where you're at sweetheart compared to me starting HRT the day before yesterday but none the less we are both cuts from the same cloth.
I'm from the tail end of the Baby Boomers but I think our parents were pretty similar because all I got was humiliation, called freak
and sometimes even the belt for always finding my little stash of clothes. No understanding whatsoever in that era of the mid-60s.
plus I see we are Neighbors I'm just above you in upper Michigan about 50 miles outside of Marquette. It's quite interesting some members are really enjoying every second of transition even as you said there are many hassles. 
But thank you so much for your highly valued opinion especially coming from you dear.
all the best love Tatiana

[Tatiana 79]

Thanks herekitten
Your reply sounds kind of joyful to me with your interesting journey and relationship with your husband.
I'm really happy for you because it sounds like you're in love with him and I think thats wonderful. I'm so glad for you the way things worked out without possibly compromising the chance of meeting your husband.
Thank you so much with your perspective on this question.
Hugs and love Tatiana

[EllenJ2003]

Dear Ellen
Gosh I feel we are so similar in some ways but on the path we are at opposite ends. I feel great respect for
where you're at sweetheart compared to me starting HRT the day before yesterday but none the less we are both cuts from the same cloth.
I'm from the tail end of the Baby Boomers but I think our parents were pretty similar because all I got was humiliation, called freak
and sometimes even the belt for always finding my little stash of clothes. No understanding whatsoever in that era of the mid-60s.
plus I see we are Neighbors I'm just above you in upper Michigan about 50 miles outside of Marquette. It's quite interesting some members are really enjoying every second of transition even as you said there are many hassles. 
But thank you so much for your highly valued opinion especially coming from you dear.
all the best love Tatiana

Hi Tatiana,

Yep things were different back in the day. I was estranged from my parents from early 2000 till late 2003, due to my refusal to be their son.  Luckily I reconciled with them a few weeks before my SRS (though my brother and sister are still pretty distant with me).  My dad, sadly died from cancer (I helped take care of him 3 days before he died) back in 2015.  I'm as close if not closer to my mom, than I was before I transitioned (I'm the one she always talks to, when things are bothering her - especially family related issues [like the drug problems my niece is having at the present time]).  I may live 90 miles away from my mom nowadays (I live in the metro Milwaukee area - one of the 'burbs), but we still keep in pretty close contact with each other.  I took vacation from work, just a few weeks ago, to take my mom to Green Bay for some cardiac surgery, and her post-surgery follow-up appointment.  Do I have resentment about the way her and dad dealt with me when I was younger? Yes, but it's not very high - both of my parents helped out financially when I was recovering from my SRS (I was flat broke, and I will never forget them helping to cover paying my bills, while I was off of work recovering from surgery), and my dad (who took it VERY hard when I transitioned - unlike mom, he really thought I had "gotten over it", until I told him in early 1999) did eventually acknowledge me as his daughter.

So you're yooper?  My uncle was stationed a KI Sawyer AFB, when he was in the Air Force.  Technically, I grew up in the southeast corner of yooperland (Manitowoc, in northeastern Wisconsin), so I can do yooperspeak with the best of them, since so many people speak that way, where I come from (even though it is 60 or 70 miles south of the Marinette/Menominee area - the nearest point for the state line with the UP).  Sometimes I miss living in that neck of the woods, but besides wanting more anonymity (I transitioned while working at a Manitowoc company, that employed several hundred people - yeah my transition was pretty public), the job opportunities were disappearing in my hometown, due to so many companies shutting down or moving out.  I make the drive to hang out with/visit my mom every few weeks (sometime this month, we're thinking of taking a day trip to Peninsula State Park, up near the tip of the Door Peninsula - when I was a kid we used camp there very often).

Oh, I forgot to mention - as for you being a baby boomer?  It depends.  The starting point for Gen X is kind of disputed.  Some say cut-off point is being born in 1965, others say it's being born in 1961 or 1962.  I was born in 1963, and I've never really had a baby boomer mindset, so I consider myself a Gen Xer. 

[Janes Groove]

I would stay transgender but have the world change its attitude.

Sonja.

That starts with us.

[LaserGirl]

Not me. I feel like I get a second round at life

[Allison S]

I really can't say until I'm out on the "other side" as mtf. I know it'll take years for that to happen... Whether cis or trans, I just want peace either way. It's others in the world that decide being cis is more agreeable... Not just cishetero people, but people who may be questioning their gender identity. Why is being trans so taboo?

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[Gertrude]

Hey Gertrude
thanks so much for jumping in and I agree 100% with your feelings.
one thing that I will not accept is society's views and all the cultural taboos well at least in my Tiny Town of 200 because I personally already swayed  about a quarter of the population here over to our side and my job is not done yet.
so if you don't like something try changing it and know it can be done well at least here in the middle of nowhere.
Thanks so much for your very respected opinion
All the best to you love Tatiana

I'm married with children and that complicates things. While I live over 2000 miles from either family, I'm not out to them. I'm out to my kids, wife and a select few friends, but that's it. I've never thought of myself as an agent of change. I'd prefer to be an ambassador, maybe, but I don't have progressive people skills in confrontational situations. I'll be quiet for a long time taking it and then the 5'2 sicilian comes out of this 6'5 body. It takes a lot, but if the switch gets flipped, it's not good.


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[NC_Sarah]

I wish I had accepted it earlier in life and transitioned sooner. I have always known how I was inside, I wish I had done something about it a lot sooner.

[Tatiana 79]

I must say I find this extremely interesting and thank everyone very much for expressing their own opinion and making this thread really work for us to gain others insight collectively to see where we're all at with this idea.

To Jane we feel the same on this one and I love your response that it's starts with us. You're darn right girl if all could just sway a few people's opinions it could catch on and spread like a wildfire.
That's exactly my attitude of, if you don't like something change it.
and one person can make a difference this is exactly what I'm doing where I live and how I'm doing it is described in my creating my own Utopia thread on the big forum. And I have to say it's working better than I expected but I still have more work to do.

and Laser girl I too feel I'm getting a second chance at life. My first chance at life really sucked for a half a century but finally now I want to use my starting transition to regain the things that were all ripped out of me and just be healthy and sleep better are my priorities and I'm hoping this is a pivot point in my life to achieve this.  now that I'm positive  that I found the root problem that really screwed me up there's going to be no stopping me now that I know it's already working.

And to Allison I'm sure one day girl you'll find that inner peace you're looking for as your brain and body work together more harmoniously.
And I think the reason for why Society views trans so taboo is due to their ignorance of the facts.
Throughout history Society has always discriminated what they don't understand but I know the number of days are limited as more become aware of the facts.
Similar to the old days when people with Leprosy were very discriminated against and made to live together on an island or some confined space and were thought to have been cursed by God
But today we understand it's just a disease that can be treated and it is no longer discriminated against as we shouldn't be any different than any other medical condition. But it takes time for society to catch up with the science but as I said before the days of this are numbered but unfortunately that day is not today.

And to Gertrude I think you're taking a very honorable position giving the priority to your wife and children ahead of your own desires.
the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. Sorry but I'm just the old Trekkie but mr. Spock's logic holds true.
and I tell you what you can be the ambassador and I'll be the Agent of Change because it's just me and my wife and I can afford to stick my neck out a little more and am doing this.

And Rose  both of our ages are pretty close and I also wish I would have started this much sooner and avoided the crash and burn I had when I was 45.  but that was the past and I'm glad we're both here now to interact and learn from others just like we're doing right now.
I think that will be very therapeutic for both of us.
I know it definitely is for me and I hope it is for you to.

Thank you so much ladies I've actually learned a lot from all of you and appreciate it very much.
It seems like we're all out of the same mold here but our environmental pressures very immensely
all we can do is play the hand of cards of life and try to play that hand the best we can and it seems collectively learning from each other we sure have a better chance then alone.

love you all very much Tatiana

[Drexy/Drex]

Mmmm it would be no from me at this time I'm actually enjoying this amazing adventure
But I dunno I think I would not like to be a cis male though I am male.....though that's changed

[warlockmaker]

I have always expressed how lucky we are to be able to live two lives in a lifetime, we are the special ones. I have always looked at the positives and loved my life as a male and now love my life as a female.

[Allison S]

I don't know how "lucky" we are... Not when I hear my friends being targeted and violently attacked. I respect your views but not all of us have had the oppurtunities you have. Not even close

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[Tatiana 79]

Hello Drexy/Drex
From the beautiful land down under.
thank you very much for your opinion and I'm so glad that you're enjoying the Amazing Adventure you're on, and the big beautiful smile that you project definitely substantiates your feelings on this.
I noticed that were only one year apart in age, and your living in beautiful Perth.
My wife's best friend in high school moved to Perth several years ago and just loves it and I've seen many beautiful pictures that she sent us. She's a doctor at one of the major hospitals in your fair City.
I found everyone's response very interesting some are enjoying it like yourself but others wish they never had to do it.
Thank you very much for your Insight.


And to Warlockmaker
I just love your very positive attitude
of loving both roles you have been in. You've definitely got your stuff together girl for focusing on the positive.
I have always really enjoyed reading your stuff you truly set the bar pretty high and I am sure you have helped many members here and set an excellent example here at Susan's especially for newbies like myself.
I can't say I loved my earlier life and feel I have grown up very repressed and isolated with my feelings because back in the 60s I had no one to talk to and felt I was the only one in the world with these feelings.
later on it got a little better for me but holding all these feelings in for almost half a century resulted in me crashing and burning as my psychiatrist says at age 45, being left completely unfunctional. but now at age 56 I feel much better because I just started HRT a few days ago and know it's the right thing to do to fix myself from these past feelings.
but now I do feel lucky to have a chance of being more functional and healthy and comfortable in my own skin. This is something that I have always wanted from about Age 4 but never dreamed it would happen but now it is within my grasp.
Thank you so much for jumping into this thread and spreading your positive attitude I'm sure that it has affected other members but I know it affected me.
You're definitely a tremendous asset to have at Susan's with your very experienced and wise words.

I thank you both very much with your very positive attitudes I  believe it will be quite contagious here.

Hugs and love to both of you  Tatiana

[Donna]

Very interesting thoughts. I don't know if being born cis would have been the best. I would rather have transitioned 50 yrs ago but things messed that up.
So in my mind being born male and now being able to really move my life ahead as a female is even a greater joy for me. I have been able to live both sides as all of us have and I don't think I could trade that life experiance in for a singular existence. Heck if I was born female would I now be FtM. One will never know but I know this path is more than perfect in
My mind, heart and soul.

[Tatiana 79]

Hey Allison
I know  that you were referring to Warlockmakers reply
And I must say I am absolutely horrified of the violence that you described.  I am aware of this from reading some unconscionable discrimination that does exist from these jerks and feel very sorry for those who have to endure this kind of treatment, and that this is reality.
but know this dear that change is possible. I personally refuse to abide by other people's ancient taboos.
I know that my situations almost unique in my Tiny Town where most people would stick up for me and have my back and the jerks would then be in the minority and they would be the ones chased down if they were foolish enough to try and do this to me as I have described in my Utopia topic In the big forum.
But I don't believe I could pull this off in more urban environments because everyone's a stranger there, but up where I live everyone's my friend and they can see me already improving in my health and they're very happy that I'm getting better even knowing that I'm trans.
Love you girl Tatiana

[Tatiana 79]

 Well worded Donna
I also wish I could have started 50 years ago instead of three days ago but I don't even know if that existed back in the 60s. Back then my own parents we're trying to embarrass and humiliate me and even sometimes I'd get the belt but not very often but I do believe they were trying to do their best with me with the knowledge they had so I don't really blame them one bit.
I must say I do find your words very inspirational to me and thank you very much for your opinion.
all the best love Tatiana

[Donna]

50 yrs ago or 3 days. The most important part is you are on your journey. It would have been way more difficult for sure back then but it is getting better all the time. With more time and education we can all be the humans that we know we are with no judgement or opinion.
Best of all is be happy and confident in your choices

[Tatiana 79]

 Thank you for being such a sweetheart Donna
Dear I think your reply made me feel the best out of them all. Because of your kind words I really now feel that I do fit in to this group compared to the rest of my life where I never felt like I could fit into any group.  Before I started HRT  I never felt quite right talking to all of you experienced members. But for the first time I do and if you could see the smile on my face that I can't get off you'd understand the impact you had on me.
Honey I will never forget this moment thank you so much.
Definitely looking forward to talking to you in the future  and see what it holds for both of us.
all of my love Tatiana

[Donna]

Thank you for the comments. Believe me I don't know it all and I am learning all the time as well but that smile will go thru your entire body and go on and on. It's so nice to hear you are felling your true self and the inner piece that comes with it.
Love you dear