Extremely new FtM, hoping to make some awesome friends here

[GamerJames]

So, I took a big step and came to work bound today (just with a tensor bandage, a sports-bra-type-thingy, a beater, a tight tshirt and a baggy tshirt over top... still no "real" binder yet). Eep, scary!

But I don't think anyone has noticed (which for right now, is the result I wanted). Even if they noticed, I'm small to begin with so they might just think "it must be because of the baggy shirt" or "maybe it's just the light or the angle" or something...

But the good thing is, I feel elated. When I first got dressed, I definitely noticed that my chest was nice and flat, but it didn't really "hit" me, I didn't really "connect" to it as my chest. Then when I got in the car and put the seatbelt on... it went flat across me and didn't have to "tuck" in between the thingers...

I had this weird moment of clarity where it really felt like I had a flat male chest, and it was (I know I've already used this word to describe my first time using a STP, but it's the only word that really does justice here...) "euphoric". Wow. Maybe you guys have already experienced things like that and my kindergarten-level triumphs are annoying to keep hearing about, but I just needed to get that off my chest (pun intended). lol

BTW I'm married to a man now as well (no children though). I came out to him about everything a week ago. It has been very hard since. But, I'm sure we'll get through it and I hope we can remain friends.

That must be challenging, I know it was when I came out to my then-husband as gay and that I was leaving him, and it's probably even harder for you since you're coming out as trans. Although, at least once you're done with the conflict you'll be able to either be friends, or get away from each other. I'm tied to my ex for the next... oh 15 years or so. And we often have to "discuss" co-parenting issues as civilly as possible... Which at times isn't very. Especially since his fiancee thinks I'm evil and immoral just cuz I'm a big bad lesbian... wait til she finds out the new plot twist. Ugh...

I was playing my NES yesterday.  Still a totally sick system if I say so myself.

Yes, I am aware I probably should have responded to the rest of the post more-so than your SNs reference to a beloved classic video game system, but I just love nintendo. 

I will NEVER begrudge ANYONE for threadjacking when it comes to Nintendo. Actually, I tend to like threadjacking anyways... but when it's because of Nintendo it's even better!! lol. Also, "mischief managed"...


Anyhow, have a good one guys, talk to you later!
(Going to see Harry Potter tonight, yay!)

[Arch]

I had this weird moment of clarity where it really felt like I had a flat male chest, and it was (I know I've already used this word to describe my first time using a STP, but it's the only word that really does justice here...) "euphoric". Wow. Maybe you guys have already experienced things like that and my kindergarten-level triumphs are annoying to keep hearing about, but I just needed to get that off my chest (pun intended). lol

Ack, terrible pun.

I know how you feel regarding the euphoria. I just had my top surgery nearly two weeks ago, and I find it hard not to take off the surgical binder and run my hands over my chest. I have a whole new body language without those horrible bags on my body. And I don't normally check myself out in the mirror, but I do it a lot now. I think I look damn good in a button-down shirt. Now all I have to do is get rid of the T-gut. That's twenty or thirty pounds down the road, so I'm looking forward to being able to exercise again.

Enjoy the movie. I will probably wait a bit till the crowds die down some.

[GamerJames]

Ack, terrible pun.

I know, I know... It wasn't really intentional, just when I'd realized what I'd written I decided to claim intent rather than replace it with a less groan-tastic alternative. 

But also, thanks for sharing your post-op euphoria, that's really awesome and I'm so glad I've found a place like this that's full of people who can understand and even *relate* to what I'm going through... You guys are all incredible.

[miniangel]

^^^^^^
Told you they were

[Jamie-o]

So, I took a big step and came to work bound today (just with a tensor bandage, a sports-bra-type-thingy, a beater, a tight tshirt and a baggy tshirt over top... still no "real" binder yet). Eep, scary!

The first time I bound at work was a big step for me, too.  Strangely enough, despite all the layering, I felt oddly naked.  Now I can't imagine going out without a binder.

[Radar]

Don't be surprised about people not noticing the extreme reduction of your chest due to binding. Even though it's so obvious for me nobody's said anything at work. One lady does think I've just lost alot of weight. That would be great if most of my fat loss came from my chest, but it doesn't work that way.

Don't feel bad about your Kindergarten-level triumphs. I have them too.

[GamerJames]

^^^^^^
Told you they were

Mmhmm, you sure did, and you were totally right! This site is my new favorite place to hang out online. I even browse the posts from my phone when I can't get to a "real" computer... lol

The first time I bound at work was a big step for me, too.  Strangely enough, despite all the layering, I felt oddly naked.  Now I can't imagine going out without a binder.

I can't wait to have a real binder. I'm small enough that I'm hoping I won't need eight million layers anymore once I have a real binder. As it stands now, the tensor bandage still requires a LOT of layers... Are there any places to get them IRL, or can they only be ordered online? I didn't bind today cuz I wanted to give my skin a break from the chafing of the tensor, and the heat of all those layers, and even though I've only bound (in public) once, I still already feel weird without it. Like the "bags" are more noticeable (to me at least) now that I've experienced having them "gone" for all intents and purposes...

Don't feel bad about your Kindergarten-level triumphs. I have them too.

Yay, I'm not the only toddler here! (lol, a 30-year old toddler with two kids...)

It seems like almost everyone on here is so much farther along than me, and while it's so reassuring to see your guys' "advanced progress" it also puts my infantile evolution (thus far) into stark contrast. But I'll take hope that I'm not the only one who's just starting out, and still enjoy learning about the later stages from those of you who are there!

Besides, relating to the process is one thing, getting to know ya all is another, and I really like you guys!

[Nero]

Everybody was once where you're at now. Everybody's transition is different. Some go slow, some go fast, some have other things that need resolved before they can go ahead (mine was at a standstill for years while I was sick).
Don't sweat it. We've got guys in every stage here.

[Teknoir]

It's good to take pleasure in the small triumphs. After all, it's really all about one small triumph after another. One small chip out of the facade at a time until you're the only one left standing.

Every step is a good one. There'll be guys relating to what you've said, guys looking forward to taking the step you're proud of, and guys fondly remembering when they took that step .

[GamerJames]

So here's another small triumph... I decided to try the control-top-nylon homemade binder idea out (with the tensor overtop of that), and it's SOOOOO much better than just the tensor and a million layers of shirts. It's night and day difference, not only in the visual outcome, but also in my "connecting" to my chest, and feeling like I have pecs instead of just feeling like I still have boobs but they're just squished down, ya know?

Also... I'm going for my haircut tonight. Can't wait, but I'm also trying to figure out what hairstyle I should go with. I know, I know: short on sides and back, little bit of length on top (so as not to show the "feminine" look of my head, etc). Sideburns cut straight across instead of into points, back of neck shaved, no wispy bits, etc... But that being said, I'm trying to find a way to express just how short I want the sides and back, what I want the top to look like, etc. I think I'm gonna have to just google some hair pics I guess.

Anyhow, sorry for the incoherent rambling, just "talking it out" so to speak. lol

[miniangel]

Braedon, Norah Vincent mentioned that a square sort of haircut made her more masculine looking. She successfully passed as a man in order to research a book, Self-Made Man.

[Teknoir]

She successfully passed as a man in order to research a book, Self-Made Man.

Let this also serve as a lesson that there is no reliable method to get good fake stubble that holds up to close scrutiny  .

[bernii]

Welcome Breadon!!!

Welcome to Susan's Place!!! Congrats on your binder move at work!! Dude, that is so awesome!! You are slowly, but surely coming out!! Yes, let your coworkers gradually get used to knowing who you really are!!! They adjust so much more easily if you move very gradually.

Welcome Breadon!!!

HUGS

Brenda

[Arch]

Braedon, Norah Vincent mentioned that a square sort of haircut made her more masculine looking. She successfully passed as a man in order to research a book, Self-Made Man.

For the record, I really disliked this book. It was recommended to me by a fellow academic, a cisgender woman. She thought it was such an enlightening eye-opener that I bought a copy for myself. Now I'm thinking that grad school was a waste of time for this nice young woman, at least with regard to gender studies.

[Jamie-o]

For the record, I really disliked this book. It was recommended to me by a fellow academic, a cisgender woman. She thought it was such an enlightening eye-opener that I bought a copy for myself. Now I'm thinking that grad school was a waste of time for this nice young woman, at least with regard to gender studies.

What was it you didn't like about it?  I only read the first half, or so, but what I read I thought was interesting.  But then, I'm not well read on gender studies in the academic sense.

[miniangel]

And for the record, Arch, I didn't much like it either, and didn't finish it, but she did make a couple of interesting points re. appearance. As a piece of work I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I just happened to spot it in the library one day. 

[tekla]

But then, I'm not well read on gender studies in the academic sense.

Consider yourself blessed.

[Silver]

Hey, I think doubting yourself is incredibly common. I would consider is strange if you didn't. Hope you enjoy your stay here, you won't be judged here.

Hey, on the upside, men's haircuts are easier to care for and men's clothes are quite comfortable. From your picture, you look pretty manly to me. That's impressive, especially pre-T and with women's clothes!

Cheers,
SilverFang

[GamerJames]

Thanks SilverFang, I totally appreciate that.

For those of you discussing the Norah Vincent book, it sounds like there's varied opinion on its quality. Now in my opinion, some books are really bad, but worth reading because of the viewpoint they can offer or whatnot... Would you guys say this book is worth checking out (for someone like me, who knows nothing about academic gender studies, or even very much at all about non-academic gender issues either), or should I avoid it at all costs?

[tekla]

should I avoid it at all costs

Its best to avoid all academic works on gender at all costs.  Matter of fact, its a pretty good rule of thumb to avoid all academic books in almost all cases. 

Read books by real people, talking about their lives.  You know, books written by people who can write with some style and write intending for their books to be read by other real people.

That being said I thought that NV was a journalist, not an academic, and Viking is not an academic imprint.