Corrupt-A-Wish

[JayKyle]

Granted you don't have a nose! (And great minds think a like ^^)

I wish I had some black duct tape

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You have black duct tape but it isn't sticky enough.

I wish I had a pocket knife.

[JayKyle]

Granted but it has no blade

I wish I had darker hair

[King Malachite]

Granted.   Now you have darker nose hairs

I wish I lived in Australia.

[JayKyle]

Granted except Australia is now the testing ground for everyone's nuclear weapons (sounds like a party)

I wish zombies existed

[King Malachite]

Granted.  Everyone but you went to Mars and took all the survival stuff so now it's just you and a bunch of  blood thirsty zombies running around.

I wish I was taller.

[JayKyle]

Granted. But everyone else is a hobbit so you are rather uncomfortable and have to crawl around in peoples houses

I wish I was older

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You are so old that you can't walk, see, or hear anymore and you constantly use the bathroom on yourself.

I wish I had an energy drink.

[JayKyle]

Granted but it tastes like an old person's waste ''

I wish I could transform into a piece of fruit

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You are now that tiny sour grape that never got a chance to fully develop.

I wish Walmart would lower their prices.

[JayKyle]

Granted but when before you can buy anything they're completely sold out of everything except old people depends and a tube of open toothpaste

I wish I wasn't drawing in ink

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You are now drawing in your own blood. 

I wish the Sailor Moon abridged series would cover the entire 200 episodes.

[JayKyle]

Granted, they copied over it and Sailor Moon no longer exists

I wish dinosaurs were not extinct

[King Malachite]

Granted.  Now there are dinosaurs running around crushing houses and eating people. 

I wish I was the WWE Champion.

[JayKyle]

Granted.  Now there are dinosaurs running around crushing houses and eating people. 

^^ how is that bad?

Granted but nobody cares or knows what WWE is anymore (aw)

I wish I could use Death Magik

[King Malachite]

Oh yeah I forgot this is the guy who dreams about WW3 and destruction  Uhhhh you get eaten!

Granted.  You use the magik of death to put you in a deep sleep forever

I wish my hands were bigger.

[JayKyle]

Granted however they are the size of a small house and you lack the strength to life or use them, plus they are really hairy and horde of small children live under them

I wish I could simply snap my fingers and money would appear

[King Malachite]

Granted.  However the whole world went to a complete bartering system so there is no more use for money.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

[JayKyle]

Granted but it turns out she's your long lost half sister (that would be sick)

I wish I wasn't so pale

[King Malachite]

Granted.  You aren't pale anymore but you are now blind so you can't tell the difference.

I wish fishing didn't hurt the fish or live bait.