You know you think like a guy when ...

[jmaxley]

When you're in a room full of women and you suddenly let out a huge belch and start laughing like it's the funniest thing ever, then notice you're the only one laughing and all the women are glaring at you.  I could maybe understand if they didn't find it funny but why get MAD?  I mean, some of them act like you just called someone a swear word or something.

[rexgsd]

When you're in a room full of women and you suddenly let out a huge belch and start laughing like it's the funniest thing ever, then notice you're the only one laughing and all the women are glaring at you.  I could maybe understand if they didn't find it funny but why get MAD?  I mean, some of them act like you just called someone a swear word or something.

lmao, thats why i try to remember to go into "no-belch mode" when im around woman, like at work. but i forget or dont catch myself in time sometimes, and i just laugh cause its so funny, then part of my brain is just confused as to why no one else is laughing and they have disgusted faces and walk away XD  i blame my college auto. tech class, its all guys and constant belching! (aka freedom lol)

[some ftm guy]

i do the "this is still clean i just put it on 3 days ago and i worked all 3 days so i didn't wear it most of the day." i wear it til it smells horrible before i put it in the hamper.

I'm at a complete loss when anyone gets emotional. i just want to run out of the room.

i don't understand and don't care what a group of women are saying. i join the other guys at work who all walk away. one time a guy i usually hang out with there was like "they're all talking about childbirth." me: makes disqusted face "eeekkhhhh."

"eh I'm too tired to get up early enough to shower today." sprays on a whole bunch of body spray hahaha
"why clean my room it's just going to get dirty again."

[LordKAT]

*Sees cute chick*

thinks,"Wonder if I can carry the (heavy thing) with out showing strain so she will notice me."

[Silver]

When you realize that you don't understand women at all and you never really did.

'Tis a shame, understanding women is useful when you are attracted to them.

[meh]

When you're in a room full of women and you suddenly let out a huge belch and start laughing like it's the funniest thing ever, then notice you're the only one laughing and all the women are glaring at you.  I could maybe understand if they didn't find it funny but why get MAD?  I mean, some of them act like you just called someone a swear word or something.

I am incapable of burping...what is up with that.

[Aegir]

some that i have personally done:

-giant carabiner hook? YES I NEED THAT
-BELT SANDER. I NEED THAT.
-i wonder if anyone can see me if i (pee/jerk off/scratch my ass/fart) here
-I COULD TAKE YOU (i say this to way too many people jokingly. probably going to need to stop that >>)

LOL I've done these myself.

YES I DO NEED THE QUAD RAILS FOR THE SAIGA, HOW ELSE WILL I ATTACH MORE THINGS TO IT?

[Cindy]

Honey where are my socks?
Do I have any ironed shirts?
I'll select the wine.
This will make your headache go away.
But we really need a 4WD/sports car/ truck/tractor/motorbike/ but not in pink (why not ).
I can  park it here.
You get the groceries I'll wait here.
The Football game was cancelled this afternoon, want to make love? (our worse, want to go to bed) our lots more worse...
No you don't need an electrician/plumber for small jobs like this.
I think I have pneumonia, I feel terrible. I need food/drink/sex/nothing to do with the children/washing/housework/ If (insert male  name) phones I'd better make the golf game otherwise they will be disappointed.


Hee Hee.

Sorry Guys

All true I think

Hugs

Cindy, and no. I won't do your ironing.

[Octavianus]

Wow Cindy, you made a nice summary on how to enfuriate a certain someone. No way you can fix that with just a simple bouquet of flowers   

When your girlfriend/wife asks which shirt suits her best you answer: "both"

[ForWantOf]

*Sees cute chick*

thinks,"Wonder if I can carry the (heavy thing) with out showing strain so she will notice me."

Haha, I like that one 

[Elijah3291]

I am incapable of burping...what is up with that.

yea me too

[Jeatyn]

"have you read the instructions?"

INSTRUCTIONS? PFFFFT *fiddles around for several hours eventually figuring it out, feel sense of accomplishment*

[Elijah3291]

(being lost looking for a building)

mom- you need to ask someone how to get there!
me- NO, i will find it MYSELF! I have a map, I dont need to ask anyone!
mom- you really should ask someone.
me(10 minutes later) see mom, I found it myself!

[Bluetraveler]

I have to say to this thread though, I do most of these things and I'm female.

[A]

Hey wait. So guys actually think about jerking off that often ? I don't know what to say...

As far as stereotypes go, let me throw those in :

-Clean the dishes
-Why?
-I can't wash my hands ; the sink is too full.
-Wash them in the bathroom, then.

Or a variant :
-Clean the dishes
-Why?
-They're dirty.
-That's not a good reason.

-Sometime, you'll need to choose between video games and me.
-...
-Well?
-Do you mean all games or the one I've been playing while you talked to me ?

-You're still watching [insert sport here] ?
-Yeah.
-Wouldn't seeing the final score suffice ?
-Of course not !
-Why wouldn't it ?
-I need to know how the team won.
-The journalists say that in the news too.
-I actually watch it expecting to see a fight.

-What do you mean, I don't spend enough time with you ? If I spend this weekend with you, you'll be happy, right ?
-Why would I ? I needed to ask.
-Then I won't spend the weekend with you.
-How could you !
*facepalm*

-Take care of the garbage.
-Okay.
[30 minutes]
-I still see garbage.
-I'm going now.
[1 hour]
-Why is the garbage still there ?
-Relax, I said I'm going.
[3 hours]
-I told you to take care of the garbage !
-What garbage ?
-The... Never mind, I'll do it.

[tvc15]

When you realize that you don't understand women at all and you never really did.

'Tis a shame, understanding women is useful when you are attracted to them.

This is fantastic.

(Bluetraveler: Nice avatar. Mother 3/Earthbound fan?)

[Shang]

....beef jerky and a coke is a suitable meal.

....thin-wheats and cheese wiz and a coke make a suitable meal.


(Both I've seen my dad do--and I do it.  But my mom and sister say, "you need to eat something else!")

[Octavianus]

...when you combine sexual thoughts with unrelated things.
Last week we were watching Beauty and the Beast when the thought appeared: "it must be hard for them to get in the mood with all the enchanted furniture watching"

[Jeatyn]

...when you combine sexual thoughts with unrelated things.
Last week we were watching Beauty and the Beast when the thought appeared: "it must be hard for them to get in the mood with all the enchanted furniture watching"

hahah I do this too 

had a VERY lengthy discussion with a few friends the other day about various superheroes and how their sex lives would work out

[Miniar]

...when you combine sexual thoughts with unrelated things.
Last week we were watching Beauty and the Beast when the thought appeared: "it must be hard for them to get in the mood with all the enchanted furniture watching"

... I'm so happy I finished the coffee before I read this or it would have come shooting out my nose!