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Bad Jokes

Started by Cindy, March 13, 2011, 03:29:37 AM

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Emily Aster

#780
December 27, 2012, 03:44:00 PM
Quote from: Ms. OBrien on December 27, 2012, 01:50:31 PM


I feel very inclined to just click like on this, but I'm not ready to release myself into the world of social networking yet.
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Kevin Peña

#781
December 27, 2012, 06:45:23 PM
Reasons I don't like algebra:

1. It's not exactly useful.
b. They mix numbers and letters together.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Anna++

#782
December 27, 2012, 06:50:14 PM
Calculus pickup line:  "I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves"
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.
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Kevin Peña

#783
December 27, 2012, 07:26:43 PM
I don't like my current girlfriend. Mind if I do a you-substitution?

How can I know hundreds of digits of pi, but not the 7 digits of your phone number?
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Anna++

#784
December 27, 2012, 07:29:43 PM
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.
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dalebert

#785
December 27, 2012, 10:08:12 PM
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dalebert

#786
December 28, 2012, 09:16:02 AM
This person is surely trolling, right?

And don't call me Shirley.

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Beth Andrea

#787
December 28, 2012, 11:42:14 PM
Found on Facebook:

Quote4 guys sitting around having drinks and one of the men had to use the restroom. The three others talked about their kids. The first guy said, "my son is my pride and joy he started working at a company at the bottom. He studied business and began to climb the corporate ladder, became president of the company. Hes so rich he gave his best friend a top of the line mercedes for christmas. The second ...guy said, "damn, thats terrific! my son is also the pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, went to flight school to become a pilot. He became a partner where he owns the majority of its assets. He is so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet as a christmas gift! the third man said. "well thats terrific! my son studied in the best universities and became an engineer, started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave an expensive christmas gift to his best friend, a 30,000 square foot mansion! the 3 guys congratulate each other just as the 4th guy returned from the restroom and asked what are all the congratulations for? one of the three guys said, "were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons... "wat about ur son?" they asked the 4th guy. the fourth man replied, " my son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub. The three friends said, " thats a shame...what a disappointment. The fourth man replied. " nah, im not ashamed hes my son and i love him..and he hasnt done too badly either. Just this çhristmas alone he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line mercedes from his 3 boyfriends.
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Ms. OBrien CVT

#788
December 29, 2012, 08:46:11 AM
  Way too funny.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Beth Andrea

#789
December 29, 2012, 09:43:50 AM
Quote from: Ms. OBrien on December 29, 2012, 08:46:11 AM
  Way too funny.

I know, right?  Like where do they think most people get their Mercedes?

Pole dancing on the corporate ladder or not, it's still pole dancing...
LOL
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Ms. OBrien CVT

#790
January 01, 2013, 05:44:39 PM
Not a bad joke, unless it happens to you ...


  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Kevin Peña

#791
January 01, 2013, 06:01:08 PM
Returning from a situation 4 fire:
"Everything went alright, chief. The LOT was saved."  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Kevin Peña

#792
January 02, 2013, 04:57:55 PM
Okay, this was actually said by my friend, Jack:

(He was only joking)
"Well, ladies, are you ready for the Jackhammer?"  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I don't like it when my friends make me laugh when I'm drinking milk. Not cool!  >:( >:( >:(
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dalebert

#793
January 03, 2013, 12:11:31 AM
Trans humor!

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dalebert

#794
January 04, 2013, 12:57:12 PM
Why did the dalek cross the road?

To ex-ter-mi-nate the chicken.


What do you call a pretty woman on the arm of a banjo player?

A tattoo.


What did the shy pebble wish?

That she was a little boulder.
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Beth Andrea

#795
January 04, 2013, 06:21:54 PM
Quote from: dalebert on January 03, 2013, 12:11:31 AM
Trans humor!



Further comments by Balrog (contributed by a friend):

I *know* I cannot pass!! That is why I am FLAMING!!

And after the surgery, I will no longer BE a Balrog! I shall be...a VAGIROG!!!
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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LilDevilOfPrada

#796
January 04, 2013, 06:25:08 PM
There is a polar bear and a grizzly bear standing next to a lake,

the polar bear falls in and screams "Help I am disloving!!",

the grizzly bear replies "Calm down its only water",

the polar bear replies "easy for you to say your not polar!"



Sorry a science joke not sure how many people will even get it.
Awww no my little kitten gif site is gone :( sad.


2 Febuary 2011/13 June 2011 hrt began
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Kevin Peña

#797
January 04, 2013, 10:20:16 PM
Quote from: LilDevilOfPrada on January 04, 2013, 06:25:08 PM

Sorry a science joke not sure how many people will even get it.

I loved it!

Here's one. Why do chemistry teachers talk about ammonia in class? It's basic material!

Why do hamburgers have less energy than steaks? They're in the ground state!

I told a chemistry joke in class today. There was no reaction.

My physics teacher connected a capacitor to a light bulb and lit it off right in front of me. I guess she blinded me with science!

Science pickup line: Mind if I run my wire through your solenoid?
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justmeinoz

#798
January 05, 2013, 04:27:36 AM
Would you believe my neighbour knocked on the door at 3am?

He was lucky I was still up practicing the b->-bleeped-<-ipes.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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LilDevilOfPrada

#799
January 05, 2013, 06:02:16 AM
Quote from: DianaP on January 04, 2013, 10:20:16 PM
I loved it!

Here's one. Why do chemistry teachers talk about ammonia in class? It's basic material!

Why do hamburgers have less energy than steaks? They're in the ground state!

I told a chemistry joke in class today. There was no reaction.

My physics teacher connected a capacitor to a light bulb and lit it off right in front of me. I guess she blinded me with science!

Science pickup line: Mind if I run my wire through your solenoid?

Yay for nerds! :P
Awww no my little kitten gif site is gone :( sad.


2 Febuary 2011/13 June 2011 hrt began
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