Bad Jokes

[dalebert]

[Anna++]

Natalie Portman's character in the movie V for Vendetta is named Evey Hammond.  One of my friends rented the movie a few years ago, so a group of us gathered in his dorm room to watch.  At one point in the movie there is a huge character-development scene and I couldn't help blurting out "What? Eevee is evolving!"

Now I want to go play Pokemon...

[dalebert]

[Cindy]

A snail slid into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender said, "Get out, you're a snail." Then he picked up the snail and threw him out the front door, all the way across the street.

     Eleven months later, while collecting glasses, the bartender felt a tap on his shoe and looked down. The snail said, "What the heck did you do that for?"

[Beth Andrea]

A snail slid into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender said, "Get out, you're a snail." Then he picked up the snail and threw him out the front door, all the way across the street.

     Eleven months later, while collecting glasses, the bartender felt a tap on his shoe and looked down. The snail said, "What the heck did you do that for?"

OMG ROFL 

[dalebert]

[dalebert]

"Tonight as the clock strikes midnight in Europe and the East Coast, people should post that the lights are flickering, the earth is shaking and there are fires in the distance. Then go mysteriously silent."  -George Takei

He's such a troll.

[dalebert]

[dalebert]

"Tonight as the clock strikes midnight in Europe and the East Coast, people should post that the lights are flickering, the earth is shaking and there are fires in the distance. Then go mysteriously silent."  -George Takei

People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

According to the Maya there isn't.

[Kevin Peña]

People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

I love you. 

Anywho, what type of shoes are made of banana skins? Slippers! 

[Cindy]

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire bat?

One is a bloodsucking parasite, and the other is a mouse-like creature with wings.

[Kevin Peña]

Ghost story at an organic chemistry camp:

"Then... when all was dark and quiet, the tertiary molecule, trapped in a protic solvent, underwent an SN2 reaction."

*GASP!!!* 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

What do you have when the Westboro Baptist Church bus goes over a cliff?

A Damn fine start.

[dalebert]

"And the pages are all dog-eared, too." -George Takei

[Constance]

"And the pages are all dog-eared, too." -George Takei

Ain't that a b!tch.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

[dalebert]

Give it a minute.

[dalebert]

Here's a hint if you're still struggling.

when I figured out the joke, I shouted "Out with Glee!"