Bad Jokes

sigmafan · February 24, 2013, 07:38:04 PM

I was walking to my local bus stop and saw this ad posted on a telephone pole.

For Sale: One knife, Near Mint condition, Used only on Friday.

Contact: R. Crusoe.

Kevin Peña · February 25, 2013, 07:11:28 PM

A guy was at a restaurant in Spain. He ordered bull testicles, but the restaurant was fresh out. The waiter told him to come back after the next week's bullfight. When he came back, he found two tiny things on his plate. He asked the waiter what was wrong.

"Señor, the bull doesn't always lose."

dalebert · February 26, 2013, 09:25:16 AM

Michelle S. · February 26, 2013, 09:35:04 AM

My girlfriend is quite proud of this one... It got old pretty fast!

kira21 ♡♡♡ · February 26, 2013, 09:41:55 AM

I went to a tractor convention at a local hall, I brought all my copies of tractor magazines and books with me. You could say I am a fan of tractors. Unfortunately all the other fans laughed at me and I decided right there and then that I wanted no more to do with them I was putting the world of tractors behind me, so I set fire to all my magazines and books. As the smoke poured off the fire people started to worry about the amount of smoke that was rapidly filling the hall but I didn't worry. I just opened my mouth up and sucked out all the smoke from all through the hall. Of course they wanted to know how I had done it. I just told them I was an ex tractor fan. Lol. Sorry. X

Kevin Peña · February 26, 2013, 03:08:45 PM

Steph, don't be sorry, that was so clever!

Who do Spartan cats despise? The Purrrrsians.

dalebert · March 01, 2013, 07:00:06 PM

Kevin Peña · March 01, 2013, 07:08:46 PM

What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A marsbars!

What kind of music do planets listen to? Neptunes!

What do you call a tick on the moon? A luna-tick!

What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter!

Beth Andrea · March 03, 2013, 04:23:14 PM

(copied from my FB)

QuoteI am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on tv this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished.

So far I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz.

Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now.

Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum,u blody luvum.!!