Bad Jokes

[nickikim]

Why can't Jesus eat m&m's ?


because he s got holes in his hands.

[Catherine Sarah]

Tough crowd here.

You're not wrong Jamie.

That friend of yours was probably the same one I saw on the street corner begging for arms. (boom boom).
He was later told by the police to shake a leg and move on. That too fell off. And it didn't finish there either. His luck ran out later in the day when he visited the local Casino. while playing cards, he threw his hand in.

Gee whiz. It's easier to Milk Arrowroot biscuits than this room.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[K Style Addiction]

why did the drunk mix vodka with Carrot Juice?

He get's drunk but he see's well.

*Ba Da Bump*

[Natkat]

a Amarican, German and Brithish vampire walks into a bar.

"A glass of blood please" the Amarican says, and he gets a big glass of warm blood.
"A glass of blood for me too" the German vampire says, and as well he get the blood.
"A glass of water for me" the Brithish vampire says.
the other vampires stares at him wondering if he really is a vampire after all?
then he take up a used tampon.

"Tea time boys.."

[justmeinoz]

An Irishman walks into a bar.
Well it is St.Patrick's Day!!!

[Padma]

(Tasteless, but somehow very poignant too...)

A man went to his doctor's, and the doc said to him "I'm afraid I've got bad news for you - two lots of bad news, actually. The first one is, your test results all came back, and you have cancer. I'm afraid it's untreatable, you should set your affairs in order, you probably have about 6 months at the most."

The man shook his head, and said "Bloody hell. So what's the other bad news then?" The doc replied "Well, the tests also showed that you have early-onset Alzheimer's Disease."

The man said "Jesus. Oh well, at least I don't have cancer, eh?"

[Jamie D]

I saw a news item today.  A shipment of Viagra had been stolen from the docks.  The police said they were searching for a gang of hardened criminals.

[Jamie D]

(Tasteless, but somehow very poignant too...)

A man went to his doctor's, and the doc said to him "I'm afraid I've got bad news for you - two lots of bad news, actually. The first one is, your test results all came back, and you have cancer. I'm afraid it's untreatable, you should set your affairs in order, you probably have about 6 months at the most."

The man shook his head, and said "Bloody hell. So what's the other bad news then?" The doc replied "Well, the tests also showed that you have early-onset Alzheimer's Disease."

The man said "Jesus. Oh well, at least I don't have cancer, eh?"

An older couple was at the doctors office, where the wife was being examined.

The doctor took the husband aside and said to him, "I've got some bad news for you.  Your wife either has advanced HIV or Alzheimers Disease."

"Oh no!" said the husband, "What should I do?"

The doctor replied, "If I were you, I'd take my wife across town and drop her off.  If she finds her way home, don't screw her!"

[justmeinoz]

What do you call a Lesbian with only one foot?

Gaylene.

  Karen.

[Catherine Sarah]

Over heard a conversation in a local Maccas.
Viola player returning from a concert in Melbourne stopped off at Gundagai for a cup of tea. Half way through the tea, she remembered she had left the viola on the back seat in plain view. Hastily finishing her tea she went back to her car to find the back window smashed in, ........ and two more violas on the back seat with hers.

(Unsigned) due to possible retribution, and further more

<-------- that's not me !!!

[Padma]

Dog On A Viola Case .

[Catherine Sarah]

Dog On A Viola Case .

Touché

[Padma]

It's one of my major regrets that I missed an opportunity to visit Dog On A Tucker Box - but I did see the Giant Evil Sheep at Goulburn (and still have the nightmares...)

[Catherine Sarah]

Well next time you're back Padma, let us know and we'll make sure you have the opportunity to visit the Dog. Apart from that, it is quite a nice rest stop on the Syd - Mel run.

But as for the Goulburn one. I believe you can apply at the Australian Embassy for Psychiatric counselling. Some visitors just never recover. I sometimes park under that thing as there is a Subway next door to it. I'm always petrified it will take life while I'm inside and do terrible things to my car.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Sephirah]

a Amarican, German and Brithish vampire walks into a bar.

"A glass of blood please" the Amarican says, and he gets a big glass of warm blood.
"A glass of blood for me too" the German vampire says, and as well he get the blood.
"A glass of water for me" the Brithish vampire says.
the other vampires stares at him wondering if he really is a vampire after all?
then he take up a used tampon.

"Tea time boys.."

That made me giggle.

[justmeinoz]

Apropos to Catherines effort;

What's the diffenence between an oboe and an onion?

Nobody cries when you cut up an oboe.   

[Jamie D]

What is the difference between a dead snake in the road, and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the snake.

[King Malachite]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

YOU ARE!

HAHAHHAHHAHA!

[Constance]

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

[bballshorty]

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

LOVE it xD