I decided to try and revive this idea, since it seems the last one died. :(
Rules are same as before; corrupt the wish of the person above you, and then make a wish of your own.
I guess I'll start:
I wish I had wings.
yay!!! I love this game!!!! ;D
Wish granted, but they are clipped at first, so it will be a while till you can fly.
I wish I had a TV for video games.
but then you'll get carpal tunnel from playing so much.
i wish more girls were virtuous.
Granted, but they don't get like that till they're 50!
I wish weekends were three days long instead of just 2.
Quote from: findingreason on March 28, 2009, 12:31:46 AM
Wish granted, but they are clipped at first, so it will be a while till you can fly.
But I still get to fly!!! (Man, we need to get a smily with wings!)
Quote from: Jessica Oz on March 28, 2009, 06:18:33 AM
I wish McDonalds was actually good for you (health food)
Granted, but you are required to have three milkshakes per meal.
I wish that I could get pregnant.
Janet
Granted, but the baby is missing its arms. :'(
I wish I had cable at my dad's house.
That is fine, Still the love of my life and there is always prosthetics. A Mother's love has no bounds.
Granted, but you can only get religious channels and Telmondo.
Janet
^ You forgot a wish! :P
i'll go then.
i wish i could find a real lady in this day and age.
Granted, she'll be perfect, but you won't find her until your last minute of life!
I wish music were free.
Granted. Unfortunately, you begin listening to so much music that you go permanently deaf.
I wish I won the lottery.
Granted, you have!
However it's only £10.00 ;D
I wish that I get to have sex with this amazing pakistani girl on the 11th of April...
granted, and congrats! She gave you an incurrable STD.
I wish I didn't have to lie to my bf.
Granted, but SRS is still not covered.
I wish I have a very rich BF.
Janet
Granted, but now you need "papers" to leave your home! :o
I wish the road ahead was not as bumpy as I know it is! :embarrassed:
Granted, the road is perfectly smooth, but you always end up in the ditch.
I wish I didn't have to go to school.
Granted, instead you get to spend the day at the dentist office where they decide to drill your teeth for fun.
*hands whoever comes next a knife* I wish you'd stab my uterus. kthnx.
Granted, I stab it and you almost bleed to death. But you survive and you have to live your life in a condition that is worse than being a girl, and any hope of transitioning is gone because of the extreme trauma on your body. So you're stuck as a girl and in horrible physical pain. Good luck with that.
I wish I could drive.
Granted, not only are all the leaders women, but all the people in the world are women (sorry guys! ;D) and you can no longer make any new children, so the world's population is gone within a few years. The end.
^^^(To Jessica Oz)I wish I had and electric car. ;D (Top That)
I'm gonna answer that anyway.
The hamsters running the electric generators in your new car die, and you are unable to get to work, so you get fired. Also, the spirits of said hamsters haunt you.
I wish I was an apple, a-hangin' in a tree; and everytime my sweetheart passed she'd take a bite of me! :D
Granted, but you rot before your hunny can take a bite so you just get tossed away.
I wish I had a motorcycle.
Granted, but it comes in a box and says some assembly required. Instructions are extra. :o
I wish for world peace.
Janet
Granted, world peace is achieved for one second. After that, the world goes to hell.
I wish I could read minds. :icon_hover-alien:
Granted, but everyone knows you can so they lock you away in isolation.
I wish I felt like myself.
^^^Hey, I can still read minds, right? :P People pretty much do that anyway.
Granted, you feel like yourself, but you aren't you anymore, you're a 50 year old woman.
I wish I was old enough to transition.
Quote from: Roxas on March 30, 2009, 09:44:25 PM
I wish I was old enough to transition.
Granted, but you drop dead the very next day.
I wish I was debt-free.
Granted, your debts have been paid... with your life! >:-)
I wish the world was square! :icon_lemon:
Quote from: Roxas on March 31, 2009, 06:28:48 PM
I wish the world was square! :icon_lemon:
Granted; you are now the supreme poobah of the Flat Earth Society.
I wish I had no hair.
Granted, you have no hair. But spiders are attracted to your shiny dome.... a LOT! (Picturing head covered in spiders)
I wish I had a video camera.
Granted, you get the video camera in a settlement of a lawsuit when you sue the estate of the person that died in the automibile accident that blinded you.
I wish I were never born.
Granted, you were laid hatched from an egg.
I wish I could go to sleep.
Granted, but it's filled with horrifying nightmares.
I wish I ruled the world.
Quote from: Jake Grimm on April 01, 2009, 04:11:11 PM
I wish I ruled the world.
Granted, but "the world" ends up being Pluto.
I wish I had an electric guitar.
Granted, but you trip and break it before you even play one note. Poor guitar.. it never had a purpose in life... :'(
I wish I had money.
Pluto rocks!
Granted, but it's monopoly money ^.^
I wish I had better ringtones.
Granted, but your phone doesn't support them so they're never used.
I wish this painting was coming out better than it is.
Granted, it comes out perfect, like Micheal Angelo had painted it, but then a robber steals it out of your hands and sells it on ebay for 1 million.
I wish math wasn't a required school subject.
Granted, but it's replaced with MANDATORY sessions of nose-picking.
I wish the book I'm writing will be published and an instant success.
Granted. It is stolen and published on the Internet without your permission, where it becomes a classic for being so bad it's good. Then it is discovered that you pladgarized it from a 7 year old. You never see a dime, and people point and laugh at you as you walk the walk of shame through the prison that is now your home. As punishment, the warden forces all prisoners to read only your book.
I wish that people could change gender at will.
Granted, people are able to change gender at will, but it's so confusing for the cis-gendered people that they start a riot and society crumbles.
I wish I wasn't tired all the time
Granted. You will never be tired again for the rest of your life. Of course you will also never sleep again. Have fun. >:-)
I wish I was 5' 5", 124 lbs, 38D-24-39, blond, blue eyed bio female.
Granted, you look as you just described, but with a hideously abnormal foot size with overgrown toes and warts all over the place.
I wish I could draw people.
Granted, you may draw beautiful drawings that would rake in millions, but no one else is able to see them.
I wish for inspiration.
Granted, you can be inspired by staring at a single object for 7 hours straight, if your eyes or mind wanders you need to start all over again.
I wish that I could find something good on TV.
Granted....You will now have David Letterman's Late Night Show on every channel 24/7
I wish I were 24-27 years younger
Ahem... I said something good. :D
Granted you're 2,427 years younger. Hope you don't miss technology.
I wish I wouldn't keep getting these bursts of tiredness.
Granted. You will never have another burst of tiredness, the next one you have will last forever.
I wish I had an SO. Good ahead and break my heart. ;D
Janet
Quote from: Osiris on April 02, 2009, 12:28:37 AM
Ahem... I said something good. :D
Granted you're 2,427 years younger. Hope you don't miss technology.
COOL!!! Now I'm young enough to start my own religion that worships TG people and I'm their Goddess Queen :laugh:
Granted... Your SO will wear over sized unzipped pants, and constantly run his thumbs up and down his suspenders
I wish my feet were not so big
*bows to Goddess Virginia*
Granted, your feet are wrapped in the Chinese technique in order to make your feet appear smaller- http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1202/695789688_48f7778660.jpg (http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1202/695789688_48f7778660.jpg)
I wish I had something delicious to eat.
Granted, you now love to eat pig testes sautéed in yak bile ;D
I wish I hadn't just eaten that Wendy's burger combo #2 :-\
Granted... Virginia will make you some good eats while you watch the Letterman show :laugh:
I wish I knew what to call my good eats
Granted. Your newest dish is now called "Marche voi girata dello stomaco".
I wish the world would accept TS/TG people as just being another great group of people.
Janet
Quote from: Janet Lynn on April 01, 2009, 10:27:40 PM
Granted. You will never be tired again for the rest of your life. Of course you will also never sleep again. Have fun. >:-)
Nice...more time to actually get stuff done! :D
*Also bows to Goddess Virginia* Amen sister!
Granted...the majority of the world now accepts TG/TS people as being another great group of people...but we're still harassed and ridiculed by some, just like other minorities :(
^^^No wish! You guys... ::)
Very well: nothing granted, nothing corrupted.
I wish I had a jacuzzi in my apartment.
Granted, but every time after you use the jacuzzi it shorts out your electricity, and you loose power for a day.
I wish my headache would go away
Granted, now the rest of your body hurts.
I wish I had someone clean my place up. ... And not steal anything whilst doing so. :P
Granted, but the only person who is willing to do so does such a lousy job, they end up making your place even messier.
I wish I knew what the purpose of life is.
Granted: The purpose of life is to live before you die.
I wish the temperature would stop changing and settle on a nice 73 degrees.
It does.... but here. Not where you are. XP
I wish I had time to write.
Granted. You are now laid off and expelled from school. Start writing. >:-)
I wish it would stop raining, snowing, blowing, and generally being terrible weather.
Janet
I hear ya there....
Granted, You'll soon be complaining it's too hot
I wish my hair would stop turning gray
Granted, it turns puke green instead. :P
I wish homework was nonexistent.
((lol, no job and already not going to school. Lol))
Granted! But school gets longer.
Wish I could go to Findlay, Ohio. <3
Granted... But there are no road maps available for the town
I wish my lil' butt was even cuter than it is now
Granted. You now have just the cutest wittle baby's bottom, and the legs to match. Maybe you'll learn to walk next year.
I wish this thread would never end.
Granted, it'll go on forever, but you need to post your most embarrassing story for the world to see forever and ever. :P
I wish people would stop being so depressed.
granted, but now everyone is sickiningly happy.
I wish people would stop being dramatic. >.<
Granted...All the drama queens are now back up singers and will happily sing everything you think or say in chorus
I wish my boobs would grow two more cup sizes
Granted. As soon as they do, they become cancerous and fall off.
I wish the economy would straighten itself out.
Granted. It is now the worst depression in history and it stay that way.
I wish that I had a lot better paying job.
Granted, your job pays better but that's because you work triple the hours.
I wish my stomach would make up its mind on if it's hungry or not.
granted, but you're going to be hungry and stay hungry.
wish I could become invisible at will.
Granted but becoming invisible makes you go blind and deaf aswell.
I wish this paint would freakin dry!
Granted... The paint will dry into a rather freakish glob. Then you'll become obsessed with adding more paint until no-one knows what it is you've painted.
I wish frozen dinners actually tasted like food
Granted. They taste like DISGUSTING food. xD
I wish my brother would stop talking to me about D&D.
Granted, but now your brother talks to you constantly about World of Warcraft instead :p
I wish the outcome that Janet said 6 posts ago about a permanent depression actually happens...maybe then we'll all learn something and build a world worth living in.
Granted. Permanent depression across the globe. But not only economically. All the people are depressed too, so no one is motivated enough to actually try, so we all perish.
I wish I knew what I said when I talk in my sleep.
Granted, you stay awake so you know what you're saying at all times.
I wish I wasn't feeling sick.
Granted, now everyone around you is sick instead.
I wish I had a new wardrobe.
Granted. Here is your new wardrobe. Now you just need more clothes. ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ikea.com%2FPIAimages%2F49188_PE083253_S3.jpg&hash=0680008453ad1243550378b899e995e00a4e196c)
I wish I had a nice three bedroom House, paid in full.
Granted, but it's made of LEGO and stands about 18 inches tall.
I wish I lived closer to the beach.
Granted, you live in a hut on the beach. Watch out for the tide!
I wish people would stop being so defensive.
Quote from: Osiris on April 03, 2009, 01:47:40 PM
Granted, you live in a hut on the beach. Watch out for the tide!
I wish people would stop being so defensive.
Please tell me it's not Jabba the Hut. ;)
Granted, people are now offensive. (Oh, wait, that's just like real life!)
I wish I had some pizza.
Granted here's those pizza bagel things. Ya know! Piiiiiizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time! When pizza's on a bagel you can eat pizza anytime!
I wish I didn't just set off my dysphoria.
Quote from: Osiris on April 03, 2009, 03:18:28 PM
Granted here's those pizza bagel things. Ya know! Piiiiiizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time! When pizza's on a bagel you can eat pizza anytime!
I wish I didn't just set off my dysphoria.
granted, but now you fall into a pit of gender euphoria for your birth sex. (pizza sets off your dysphoria? :laugh:)
i wish i were an archaeologist.
lmao after I posted I realized that it looked like pizza bagels set off my dysphoria. That's be horrible if they did. :D
Granted, here's a paper saying that you're an Archaeologist. You just need to pay $150,000 to claim it.
I wish I'd stop second guessing my decision to not transition. :P
That's a nice wardrobe Janet! Thanks!! :D :laugh:
Granted Osiris, you are now confident in your decision not to transition, but you still have to deal with GID, sorry. :-\
Now I wish I had more clothes. :P
Granted. They are all Barbie-sized and in your least favorite color.
I wish the school year could be over NOW.
Granted, you're expelled.
I wish.... Erm... I'm running out of wishes. I wish I had a wish. :P
granted but be careful what you wish for, because now you have a million wishes. (ok that was on the lame side :P).
i wish i had a girlfriend.
Granted you can have any girl you want as your girlfriend, but she never spends time with you.
And it worked Nero! I wish that teenagers weren't so bloody stupid. -_-
Granted. They are all now inhumanly intelligent and rise to power (yes, including myself, MWAHAHAHA)
*ahem* I wish it wasn't so hard to say "no" to certain people.
Granted, you can say no to everyone but you can't say yes anymore.
I wish I could have a more masculine singing voice... or speaking voice in general. :P
Granted. You're so shocked when this happens that you go into a coma.
I wish I lived on the coast.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on April 03, 2009, 05:57:21 PM
Granted, it's 2 feet tall and made of lettuce.
I wish money didn't exist.
granted now we're bartering pigs and cows.
i wish i weren't allergic to my cat.
Quote from: Osiris on April 03, 2009, 05:52:02 PM
And it worked Nero! I wish that teenagers weren't so bloody stupid. -_-
Hey! I resent that wish. Anyways, I think I agree. Now Uncondtional Acceptance and I will rule the world! >:-)
Granted, you are not allergic to your cat, your cat is allergic to you.
I wish people would stop posting before I finish my post! (There were 7 posts while I was trying to type. I had to keep changing it. :( )
I WISH I COULD KEEP UP WITH THIS THREAD!
^^^Again! Like I was saying!
Corrupted my own wish, the thread is dead now! :(
^^^I don't think so.
I wish I knew Japanese.
Wish granted, but all the Japanese you learned was foul-mouth slang, so the people would look at you funny whenever you spoke.
I wish I could play the drums well.
*Edit* note how the recent posts stuff was consumed by this thread :D
Quote from: Osiris on April 03, 2009, 06:05:11 PM
Corrupted my own wish, the thread is dead now! :(
Granted, but you have to watch it go on for a couple more pages
Quote from: findingreason on April 03, 2009, 06:11:35 PM
I wish I could play the drums well.
Granted, but once you start you can't stop, and your hands fall off.
I wish I could go out to dinner tonight.
Granted... But you'll have to eat something Virginia's cooked up. She's a bit of an odd bird ya know :laugh:
I wish my neighbors would quit waking me up in the early morning
Granted. They now wake you up as soon as you fall asleep at night. ;D
I wish the Internet wasn't so addictive.
Granted, now you're addicted to TV instead.
I (in all seriousness) wish I could find a job to support myself, and not move back with my parents.
Quote from: Fae on April 03, 2009, 09:29:10 PM
Granted, now you're addicted to TV instead.
I (in all seriousness) wish I could find a job to support myself, and not move back with my parents.
Granted- you get a fantastic paying job! It's so good in fact, that your parents quit theirs and move in with you instead.
I wish people would be careful what they wish for... >:-)
Granted, you develop massive co-dependence in addition to being a shopaholic, and thus send all your new purchases to Michelle in WPB, FL.
I wish that I had a mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, and a tiger in the bedroom.
Granted. They all gang up on you and feast on your tender flesh. >:-)
I wish I could stop time for awhile.
Granted- once time stops, you can't move and you're stuck for eternity with that piece of chocolate just inches from your lips...
I wish chocolate had no calories..
Granted...But now just plain tap water is full of calories
I wish these bruises would just go away
Granted. Each one of them is replaced with warts.
I wish Spring Break were longer.
Granted...You'll be on spring break forever while everyone else gets an education and high paying jobs
Now I wish these warts would go away
Granted. They are replaced with frogs. (This could go on forever) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fsmilie%2Ftiere%2Fr015.gif&hash=28012bf5f46d439e60404e023106202edac878f4)
I wish water had no calories...
Granted...But petting kittens gives you bizarre fantasies
I wish my dog was more protective of me and didn't run and hide when I get attacted
granted he's a chihuahua puppy >:-) I wish I got a lot of hair on my chest. 8)
Granted. So is your back. And you now need a comb. A big comb. ;D
I wish some guy would ask me out.
Janet
Granted, but he refuses to stop calling you.
I wish that money really grew on trees.
Granted, new money is introduced just as they make a tree that grows money. So it only grows the old money that no longer has any value!
I wish YouTube would stop muting videos. >:(
Granted! But now the video quality is horrific.
I wish my friends weren't so flakey. :-\
Granted, now they're crispy. (lol, sorry!)
I wish I liked fish.
Granted. But now they're extinct.
I wish I lived in Vancouver.
Granted, but it is Vancouver, WA not B.C.
I wish that the USA had universal heath care for all, including the Transsexual/Transgendered community.
Granted, the US has health care for all. But unfortunately, the health care sucks, and you can't get a different provider, so it helps absolutely nothing.
I wish I could visit Japan.
Granted, but it's in an urn, so that your surviving family can spread some of your ashes.
I wish I was multilingual.
Granted. you now speak ten languages. Most are so obscure that only a hand full of people speak them, and your native language is not one of them.
I wish I wasn't so shy. I could really like to try to be more slutty.
Janet
Granted, but you end up trying too hard and your friends reject you for being fake.
I wish I was 30.
Granted...You will eat panties with hearts on them the rest of your life
I wish I was 21
Granted... your the one wearing the edible panties and they never seem to dissolve quite enough.
I wish for a kind stranger to finance my transition.
granted but he's an old crazy dude that wants 2 marry u. >:-) I wish I was 6 ft tall 8)
Granted, you are 6 feet tall, but you live in a country where everyone is only 4 feet tall, and so everything (houses, beds, furniture, appliances, etc.) is too small for you.
I wish I knew what happens after death.
Granted; the knowledge kills you.
I wish cavities were a physical impossibility.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on April 12, 2009, 03:52:41 PM
I wish cavities were a physical impossibility.
Granted: you no longer have any teeth.
I wish my heartburn would go away.
Granted; it is replaced with extreme stupidity.
I wish people didn't set so much store by clothes.
Granted, humanity completely rejects clothing - and freezes to death during the winter.
I wish I had a billion dollars.
Quote from: Nor on April 13, 2009, 08:51:12 PM
Granted, humanity completely rejects clothing - and freezes to death during the winter.
I wish I had a billion dollars.
But you spend it all funding wars.
I wish I had the "Humungus Chicken" from "Elmo in Grouchland".
Granted....But the chicken constantly interrupts what ever you're doing just to hen peck you about something that doesn't matter.
I wish I was a Victoria's Secret model :icon_chick:
Granted, you become a famous victoria's secret model. But you have stalkers and must live in hiding.
I wish I had some potatoes to eat.
Granted...You will now have nothing to eat but huge Idaho baker potatoes. But you'll run out of new ways to prepare them
I wish my dog wouldn't stare at me when I'm eating
granted he's blind :D I wish I didnt have 2 pay my parkin ticket. :D
Granted....But now you have to pay all your friends parking tickets
I wish I had a new VW Beetle in either Yellow or Orange
Granted, but the brakes fail within days and you end up in a tragic car accident which leaves you in a permanent coma.
I wish I had a better doctor.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance
Granted; it is replaced with extreme stupidity.
Methinks the proper response is, "You're grounded."
Quote from: Nor
I wish I had a better doctor.
Granted, but his last name is Frankenstein.
I wish there was a nice big hot breakfast on my desk.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on April 14, 2009, 09:14:23 AM
Methinks the proper response is, "You're grounded."
Granted, but his last name is Frankenstein.
I wish there was a nice big hot breakfast on my desk.
Granted your desk is buried in a mountain of eggs, bacon, sausage, etc. Good luck getting through it all so that you can work on your desk. :)
I wish my personality would stop changing. o.O
Granted, you are permanently a pissed off violent person.
I wish I could change my appearance at will.
Granted but your appearance changes into random stuff unless you concentrate really hard.
I wish I could fall asleep when I want to.
Granted, but it takes a jet taking off five feet from your ear to wake you up.
I wish my back and knee would stop hurting.
Quote from: Nor on April 15, 2009, 01:47:37 AM
I wish my back and knee would stop hurting.
Granted: you are now an octopus and are devoid of those pesky bones.
I wish I had my dream guitar now.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on April 15, 2009, 10:03:10 AM
Granted: you are now an octopus and are devoid of those pesky bones.
I wish I had my dream guitar now.
granted, but it has no strings. i wish i was a real princess
Granted, but your country is at war and you are taken hostage.
I wish I could feel this good all the time. :)
Granted, but everyone else is miserable and blames you for it. Bring out the torches and pitchforks! >:-)
I wish I had a mute button that could make people stop talking.
Granted! *gives you an axe* That should quiet them sufficiently.
I wish I'd stop being hungry after eating. -_-
Granted; you're no longer hungry after eating. You're insufferably giddy instead!
I wish I didn't have to read The Grapes of Wrath to pass my English class.
Granted, you don't have to read The Grapes of Wrath (what book is that, anyway?) to pass your class, but you have to read every Shakespeare play ever written in 3 days, then write a 10 page essay about each of them.
I wish you could go to a movie for free.
Granted ...But only movies you've seen already
I wish my dog would learn to play fetch
Quote from: Roxas on April 16, 2009, 01:20:10 PM
The Grapes of Wrath (what book is that, anyway?)
It's a classic about a family during the Great Depression.
Virginia, your wish is granted! Your dog knows how to play fetch, unfortunately he only likes throwing the ball so you gotta run and get it. :)
I wish music I like would come on the XM radio.
Granted. Power outages ensue.
I wish I didn't get stressed so easily.
Granted, you are never stressed. You are always, however, in a frenzied rage. :icon_chainsaw: :icon_userfriendly:
I wish my spring break wasn't almost over. :(
Granted...But you live out your life as an uneducated street person
I wish printer ink was less expensive
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 17, 2009, 01:01:31 AM
I wish printer ink was less expensive
Granted: but you printer dies and it's a discontinued model meaning you need a new one that's incompatible with those nice inexpensive ink cartridges.
I wish exercising was followed by sore muscles.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on April 17, 2009, 09:18:12 AMI wish exercising was followed by sore muscles.
Granted. Now you can't get rid of those little buggers, they follow you around everywhere.
I wish there wasn't so much hateful, violent ignorance in the world. Sigh.
Granted, now there's a little hateful, violent ignorance in the world. Those who were previously hateful, violent, and ignorant are now just grouchy and otherwise annoying. :P
I wish I looked good with short hair.
Granted...But it's a Marine Corps buzz cut
I wish I had a wish to wish
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 17, 2009, 03:23:00 PMI wish I had a wish to wish
Granted... that was it.
I wish.. uh, never mind.
Granted, you get no wish. Every wish you wish from know on will be corrupted by us. (wait a minute...)
I wish headphones weren't so expensive.
Granted... however they play "bad" music well and "good" music poorly.
I wish I could come up with something original to wish for...
Granted you wish you could ride a flaming unicycle off a cliff and go out in a blaze of... glory?
I wish my TV would stop getting confused on if the channel is HD or not.
Granted.... But now the channel changer and volume wont work right and all it will show are pornos very loudly
I wish the gardening season would actually start
Granted. No more rainfall for the next 12 months. :'(
I wish my shoulder weren't hurting.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 17, 2009, 03:23:00 PM
Granted...But it's a Marine Corps buzz cut
:'(
Granted. Your shoulders no longer hurt. Your legs do instead.
I wish that the weather continues to stay nice and warm. ;D
Granted; after two days of that WWIII starts and throws the Earth into nuclear winter.
I wish for a pound of chocolate.
Granted...But it's chocolate Tai weed and you smoke yourself senseless
I wish I had some nice green bud to smoke :icon_bong:
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 17, 2009, 08:54:27 PM
I wish I had some nice green bud to smoke :icon_bong:
Granted, but you find it difficult to keep the green can of beer burning.
I wish my kids had half of each other's ambition (one works too hard, the other not enough).
Granted, the insuing chaos causes our apartment to implode.
I wish that cigarettes didn't exist.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on April 18, 2009, 11:28:37 AMI wish that cigarettes didn't exist.
Granted.. they've all been replaced with joints and everyone walks around with a contact buzz from second-hand smoke.
I wish I could think of something clever to wish for. :-\
Granted, it's so unique that no one knows how to corrupt it, and the thread dies! :'(
I wish the majority of my classmates weren't idiots.
The majority of your class are now all brilliant, respectful, and open minded. You are now the minority ;)
I wish the sun wouldn't give me a migrane.
Quote from: Miniar on April 18, 2009, 12:02:54 PMI wish the sun wouldn't give me a migrane.
granted- it makes you
migrate instead- you find yourself standing at the south pole in your sun hat
I wish this thread would end and nobody would wish it back again. :P
(I wish I hadn't wished that)
The thread has ended.
The thread has come back all on it's own, no wishing necessary.
:P
I wish I didn't have to cook dinner tonight.
You don't: you are dinner (yum, human flesh!)
I wish that my black nail poslish wasn't all dried up.
Granted, but you nail polish never dries so it just drips off your nails.
I wish they'd finally fix my AC unit.
Granted.... But now Ice cycles are forming on your ceiling and you bump your head on them
I wish my dog would not be so wiggly when I trim his winter coat
Granted, he sits still when you trim his coat, but it still comes out uneven.
I wish I didn't have to work at 9am...
Granted. you now get to go in at 4 Am. Have fun, I do. ??? :-\
I wish I could have an SO in my life.
Janet
Granted, but it's someone you can't stand and would rather be alone instead of with them.
I wish I could Christopher Titus' standup shows on DVD.
Granted...You are now doing stand up shows with Christopher Titus and don't need the DVD's
I wish everything would not become so heavy and difficult after a variety of injuries
Granted, everything is extremely easy, but you look like a zombie from Half-Life.
I wish I owned a PS3 and Xbox 360. (We should have a video game smiley *hint hint* ::) )
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 19, 2009, 12:37:36 AM
Granted...You are now doing stand up shows with Christopher Titus and don't need the DVD's
HELLS YEAH! For a corrupted wish that's pretty damn good. :P
Quote from: Osiris on April 19, 2009, 12:41:35 AM
HELLS YEAH! For a corrupted wish that's pretty damn good. :P
Right then... have you another wish?
Ok first must grant this
Quote from: Roxas on April 19, 2009, 12:39:00 AM
I wish I owned a PS3 and Xbox 360. (We should have a video game smiley *hint hint* ::) )
Granted, you receive them for free, but they get stolen. But, hey no money down. ;)
I wish I had gone to sleep 3 hours ago.
Granted... You did go to sleep 3 hr.s ago, but your subliminal mind causes you to wake up here in front of your computer with glaring eyes
I wish I could afford everything I want to grow in the garden
Granted... but customs intercepts your "Amsterdam," garden supply order.
I wish that I had absolute complete control over the entire world, I promise to be a benevolent Empress.
Granted....You are now A benevolent Empress. But have to deal with everyone's problems and report to Goddess Virginia
I wish the big toe on my right foot didn't get smashed and the toe nail would grow back correctly
granted but now u got the same problem on ur left foot. :D :D :D I wish I got a brand new truck. 8) 8)
Granted... Is that the truck that ran over my foot?
I wish everyone to realize that the are all Gods and Goddess'
Granted, Everyone realizes their inner divine power and now fight each other with Fireballs and Lightning instead of using their words.
I wish I had 10 minutes of free time in which I could go outside in the lovely weather and just have a smoke.
Granted, but some horrible beast has taken up residence in the middle of a cigarette. When you try to light it one fire, it gets angry and kills you. Then you get to stay outside in the lovely weather for a long time, until someone finds the body.
I wish I was still able to do a convincing British accent (ah, lost childhood talents).
You now can do a brilliantly convincing English accent but only when you say the phrase "tea and crumpets".
I wish I had energy to work out more often.
Granted, you have so much energy and work out so often that your muscles swell to huge proportions, BUT none of your clothes fit any longer, and you have to go live in a nudist colony. xD
I wish I hadn't lost my voice.
Granted, you didn't loose your voice. But now instead of talking normally, you sing everything in opera. ;D
I wish that Disney didn't give me false hopes about finding love.
Granted, they give you the painful truth instead.
I wish I could permanently slack off on my homework without consequences.
Granted. You can permanently slack off on your homework. You graduate from school and begin a great job. But you regret not learning in school what others around you did.
I wish someone would buy me flowers for no reason at all.
Granted; because they were bought for no reason and feel worthless, they wilt an hour after you receive them.
I wish I could go swimming.
Granted, you can go swimming, but the water freezes while you are inside. See you in a thousand years! >:-)
I wish my parents understood how hard this is for me. :'(
Granted...Your folks are totally understanding to the point it drives you up the wall
I wish the people I'm attracted to would be attracted to me
Granted, but all they want is to get you in bed. Nothing else.
I wish my school would close for the rest of the year.
granted but you now have to go to school for two extra years to make up for it.
i wish i could get some sleep.
Granted... but you oversleep and miss out on the most important event in your entire life.
I wish for no hurricanes this year...
Granted, no hurricanes. But there are Tsunami's that are somehow able to crash over the entire continent, instead of just the coast.
I wish it weren't so damn hot here! :icon_flamed:
ok, but now it's so cold that it's like the norht pole....
i wish my parents didn't steal my horse and dog....
Granted... But horse stealin' is a hanging offense
Wish I was a girl in her Early 20's and could get pregnant
Granted, you're in your early 20s and able to get pregnant, but no one wants to sleep with you.
I wish my history teacher wasn't such a f***ing retard.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on April 20, 2009, 10:30:54 PM
I wish my history teacher wasn't such a f***ing retard.
Granted: you are instead.
I wish the phone switch at work would crash.
granted, it crashes and as a result your company goes out of business and you are laid off.
I wish I knew what to do: move home or risk moving to a new place with no money.
Granted, you know what you need to do but end up doing the opposite.
I wish I could get motivated to finish this painting.
ok, you get motivated to finish it and do, but nobody likes it...not even you
I wish I could have the nerve to actually discuss this stuff with my parents.
Granted.... You get your nerve up, but your folks are completely bored and walk off saying "tell us something we didn't know"
I wish my neighbors would just talk to each other rather than yell loudly up and down the hallway early in the morning
Granted, now they yell loudly in the evening, preventing you from getting any sleep at all.
I wish it was easier for me to accept reality instead of escaping into what could be.
They already do that, and I rarely get much sleep
Granted..... You accept reality for what it is but don't like it
I wish it was easier to shave my dog's winter coat
Granted, but it gives YOU hairballs. :P
I wish I didn't stress out so easily.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 22, 2009, 02:05:13 AM
Granted..... You accept reality for what it is but don't like it
I didn't like it to begin with. I want to be able to create my own reality and escape to it. For real. >:-)
Granted...you now don't stress out easily, everyone else around you does!
I wish packing up and moving wasn't so depressing.
I've never been a big fan of reality either and also wish to create my own :-*
Granted....you now like moving so much that you take a job with a moving company
I wish my bulky old PC was a state of the art Mac laptop
That's why I write.
Granted . . . but it's a broken state of the art Mac laptop.
I wish that I could travel through time.
granted, but you can't get back to regular time....
I wish my dizziness would go away...
Virginia, it's too bad I can't lift anything, so I wouldn't last a day with a moving company. ;D
Granted...you go to sleep and when you wake up, you're not dizzy...you're hung over :p
I wish I would stop crying over my situation right now.
Granted.... You stop crying and take action which leads you to a better situation
I wish I could have a pony and be able to care for it properly.
Thanks Virginia :-*
Granted, you find someone who will sell you a pony and teach you to take care of it.
(not exactly Corrupt-A-Wish ::) :P)
I wish those get-rich-quick schemes actually worked, then I would sign up for one.
Granted... but everyone in the entire world signs up, the laws of economics take hold and everyone is just the same as before... but also starving sine no one bothered to grow/raise any food.
I wish that my poor little kitty cat would finally hawk up her stuck hairball...
Granted.... Your cat hocks up several hairballs, but you can't find a way to remove them from your carpet no matter how you try
I wish people would stop vandalizing my personal property. (car, bike, etc.)
Granted u got no personal property no more. u got nothin :D :D :D I wish I could beat the world bench press record :icon_workout: :icon_workout: :icon_workout:
Granted, but the 12 midgets which hung on the bar for weight follow you around constantly asking for more "rides"!!!
:icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance:
:icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance:
I wished I lived in a teepee by a river.
Granted. Global warming accelarates and your teepee gets flooded.
I wish there was an easy way to tell my organ teacher that I'm quitting.
Granted. You don't even have to tell her. She tells you that she hates you and chases you away brandishing an ax.
I wish that I had one of those awesome things that makes a rainbow in one's room.
Quote from: Mr. Fox on April 23, 2009, 05:39:48 PM
Granted. You don't even have to tell her. She tells you that she hates you and chases you away brandishing an ax.
:icon_eek: Eh...not quite what I had in mind, but it isn't called "Corrupt-A-Wish for nothing :D
Granted, but it malfunctions and the rainbows are accompanied by extremely irritating noises.
^You forgot your wish.
I wish my evil twin didn't want to kill me
Quote from: Roxas on April 23, 2009, 06:05:18 PM
^You forgot your wish.
Ack! Sorry bout that.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 24, 2009, 01:55:23 AM
I wish my evil twin didn't want to kill me
Granted, your evil twin just wants to see you with strep throat instead.
I wish I could escape from society's stereotypes.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on April 24, 2009, 10:10:12 AM
I wish I could escape from society's stereotypes.
Granted: all radios, MP3 players, tape/CD decks and the like are now only mono (no longer stereo).
I wish I was at the beach.
granted, but a freak blizzard hits the very beach your at
I wish we had dog food
Granted. But you have to eat it.
I wish I could read minds.
Quote from: Mr. Fox on April 24, 2009, 03:06:27 PM
I wish I could read minds.
Granted, but the minds you read are sooooo boring you fall asleep.
I wish I had some sushi.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on April 24, 2009, 03:22:20 PM
Granted, but the minds you read are sooooo boring you fall asleep.
I wish I had some sushi.
It makes you sick.
I wish I had five penises.
Granted, they're each an inch long and the pubic hair is dyed different shades of pink.
I wish life were easier.
Granted, life is much easier, unfortunately you die and can't enjoy it.
I wish I wasn't sick this evening. :(
Granted, you aren't sick. BUT you are then surrounded by hideously ill people for the rest of the evening.
I wish that I could get 10 hours of sleep a night.
Granted...But your obnoxious neighbors wake you up every other hour and you end up sleeping much longer than you wish and still feel tired.
I wish I liked being alive
Granted, you absolutely love being alive. So you dedicate your entire life to finding/creating a fountain of youth, but never do. You die old and alone, wishing you had spent the life you love doing things you love instead of trying to make it longer.
I wish I had a Locus Plethore:
http://billpendry.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/locus17.jpg (http://billpendry.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/locus17.jpg)
Quote from: Roxas on April 25, 2009, 02:09:15 AM
I wish I had a Locus Plethore:
http://billpendry.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/locus17.jpg (http://billpendry.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/locus17.jpg)
granted I'll frame the pic & send it 2 u by mail. >:-) :D :D I wish everyday was summer.
Granted. Global heat stroke ensues.
I wish I had more pudding. :'(
granted- the pudding factory down the streets explodes and your entire house is buried in 6 feet of it. Oh, and it's that flavor you hate, too.
I wish I had better wings, these are too small and I fall down a lot.
granted your wings grow so large that you can no longer fly...
i wish i had the guts to present the real me to the world...
Granted, you present your real self to the world, and everyone accepts you and loves you. You die 7 minutes later.
OR: Granted, you have the guts to, but as soon as you do you'll disappear in a flash of light.
YOU CHOOSE
I wish I could learn any language I want.
First off... brilliant "grants," I like the first option... I'll get seven minutes of earthly utpopia b4 I head for heaven.
Now for yours Roxas... granted but its Klingon and it turns out their real... your the new Ambassador to Qu'Nos.
I wish a big burly man could come pressure wash the porch for me.
Granted... But the big burly man wants to pressure wash you with his other hose as well >:-)
I wish I could get motivated and stop feeling depressed
Granted, you're now uber-motivated and try to be perfect at so many things at once that you eventually collapse in a stress-ridden mass.
I wish I wasn't living through my corruption of the above wish.
Granted... you may return to both a saner and happier existence...
I wish this swine flu would go back to where it came from.
granted it goes back 2 where it came from after u catch it. >:-) :D ;) :D >:-) I wish everyday was summer.
Every day is summer in Hell. Pack your bags and be on your way!
I wish I could change my body between male and female at will (can be used to body dysphoria, and makes a great party trick!)
Granted, you have been able to change between them since birth. But it switches at random moments, so you never know when you'll be a boy or a girl.
I wish I had a million dollars to do what I pleased with!
Granted... but your a Wall Street Exec, Mr. Obama would like his 90% or he will send his goons to your house. Have fun with the 100K, if you survive the tar and feathering.
I wish that Obama would stop coming on my TV during primetime television.
Granted, Mr. Obama now shows up at your home and is the epitome of "the guest that never leaves".
I wish my laptop battery would last more than one hour.
granted but now it will not turn off and blows up after a day or two.
i wish this conversation with my parents was already over.
Granted. They never speak to you again.
I wish I could burn my history textbook.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance
I wish I could burn my history textbook.
Granted, but the noxious fumes cause such an asthma attack that you can't travel any farther from home other than to school between now and the start of the next school year.
I wish I hadn't left my MP3 player's sync adapter at home.
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on May 01, 2009, 09:47:08 AM
Granted, but the noxious fumes cause such an asthma attack that you can't travel any farther from home other than to school between now and the start of the next school year.
You are a cruel, cruel man.
Granted, you remembered to bring it with you, but it's broken.
I wish I could go back to bed.
Your mother sends you to bed for being a bad girl. Then you find out that if you can be in New York in 24 hours, someone will give you a million dollars, but your mother won't let you get up. "That's what you get for being bad, young missy!"
I wish I had a coherent memory from the sixth grade that I could write a story on for my assignment.
Granted; they're all sharp memories of awful times.
I wish I could be done with high school now.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance
You are a cruel, cruel man.
I am a cruel, cruel
androgyne, O Daughter of Mine. Your brother is the only man in our house. ;)
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance
I wish I could be done with high school now.
Granted, but all of your assignments for your senior year are due now, you silly junior you.
I wish I had a root beer float.
Granted.... You are floating in a swimming pool full of root beer
I wish the plants I like would just magically grow in my garden and the weeds wouldn't grow
Granted, but they're all hell-bent on your destruction, and strangle you in the night. >:-)
I wish I was all ;D right now.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi544.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh343%2Flindalacey7%2Fuasmily.jpg&hash=299ea41fdd7e8b0a2b6667889630e7edb2bb6554)
Granted, but so is everybody else, and, well, we're all HAPPY!!! YAY!!!
I wish I had milk for my coffee
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on May 01, 2009, 02:18:08 PM
Granted; they're all sharp memories of awful times.
Actually, that's what I wanted, so thanks!
Granted. You're on the MOOOON! Yay!
I wish that the guy I like and his girlfriend were interested in having a threesome with a pre-T transsexual.
Granted but the girlfriend wont let you tuch the guy!
I wish I had a fridge
Quote from: Linda on May 02, 2009, 10:33:57 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi544.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh343%2Flindalacey7%2Fuasmily.jpg&hash=299ea41fdd7e8b0a2b6667889630e7edb2bb6554)
THAT'S SO COOL!! Thanks!
Quote from: phantom_heart on May 02, 2009, 12:31:37 PM
I wish I had a fridge
Granted, it's 18 inches tall.
I wish people wouldn't forget to wish their wish :laugh:
Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 03, 2009, 05:33:39 PM
I wish people wouldn't forget to wish their wish :laugh:
Arrgh, I did it again! >_<
*ahem* Granted, people remember all their wishes and try to post them simultaneously.
I wish I didn't have to worry about AP testing this week. :-\
Granted, AP testing was last week...you missed it and got all zero's
I wish we knew when this thread would end, geez it's getting long! :D
Granted, The thread will end when no one posts to it anymore. ::)
I wish I didn't twist my ankle Saturday.
Granted....but now you can't stop doing a dance called the Twist
I wish there weren't so many haters
Granted, all the haters hate eachother so much they destroy themselves.
I wish I had taken a shower already.
Granted, you have taken a shower already, but you realize you are still extremely dirty, so you have to take another one.
I wish I didn't have to do STAR testing. (FYI: STAR testing is a California State Standardized test we have to take every year. Extremely boring and long.)
Granted, you don't have to take the test, instead you take the STAR II test twice as long and 20 times more boring! :D
I wish... I didn't feel so blah.
Granted your stuck in "manic mode" forever.
I wish I could find a high paying job.
Granted you find a high paying job but you don't get it.
I wish I had more water. *dehydrates*
Granted. It's sea water.
I wish I had enough money to never work again.
Granted... but you have to live in the People's Paradise of North Korea tp be able to afford to do so.
I wish that my putty cat would slumber with me tonight.
Granted, your putty cat slumbers, and snores and drools all over you. :)
I wish that I had gone to sleep about .... 3 hours ago.
granted. ur sleepin, this is a nightmare. >:-) :D :D I wish everythin in the world was free.
Fine, communist. Everything is free because the world is ending and there is utter chaos and nobody cares whether you pay because everyone's going to die.
I wish I didn't have to take physics.
Granted, you don't need to take the classes but still need to pass all the tests.
I wish people would stop making me feel invisible.
Granted.....You are now on a popular television series and don't like the role your playing or signing autographs
I wish I could get more done during the day
Granted, you can do a ton of work in a day, but none of it was what you needed to get done.
I wish I wasn't sick.
Ooohhhhh, now that isn't fair :laugh:
Granted....Not only are you healthy as a horse, you are a horse >:-)
I wish I could remember what my wish was
Granted, you remember that you were tricked into wishing you had never been born. Your wish is granted, and through some strange time paradox, you end up back at this same moment, where you forgot your wish and I reminded you what it was. You are now stuck in an infinite time loop. Good luck escaping.
I wish the school year was over already.
This is coming from an odd time continuum from 1870....
Granted.... The school year is over and you failed miserably.
I wish hand puppets didn't itch
Granted. The hand puppets burn and you try to take them off and you can't and the fire spreads across your whole body and you die. Then the hand puppets wait silently for their next victim.
I wish that I knew how to apply makeup.
granted but your arms are now too short to reach your face so you can only do makeup on others.
I wish money really did grow on trees.
Granted but the trees only grow in Venezuala... viva la revolotion!!
I wish I had less "free time."
Granted! now your free time cost $3.99 for the first minute and $.99 for each additional minute. :D
I wish Tyra banks would pay for my SRS.
A bit of an odd preoccupation of casting death upon others Mr. Fox
Granted..... Tyra Banks wants to fully finance your transition. But she thinks you are going FTM and has any boobs you may have removed
I wish I could trust someone
Granted, you're able to trust whoever you choose. Unfortunately, they can't reciprocate.
I wish I didn't get light-headaches all the freaking time. :-\
Granted, you get migraines all the time.
I wish I could make up my mind on if I want to sleep or stay awake.
Quote from: Osiris on May 07, 2009, 09:31:12 PM
Granted, you get migraines all the time.
:icon_blah: ACK! Don't say that, I had one just yesterday and don't need any more!
*ahem* Granted, you want to stay awake, but you get NO work done. >:-)
I wish I had a gallon of mint chip ice cream.
Granted you have a gallon of mint chip ice cream... *eats it all* Mmmm thanks that was good!
I wish I wasn't feeling light headed.
:icon_dribble: I love mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Granted, not lightheaded, just wanting to throw up!
I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.
Granted, but your make up day(s) are Saturday and Sunday.
I wish that quitting smoking was as easy as starting.
Granted, but you still cant get the smokey smell out of your clothing...
I wish I didnt have to work this weekend.. :(
Granted.... You call off sick. But the Cat in the hat shows up with thing 1 and thing 2 and turns your place into an upside down playground
I wish the wind would stop blowing so hard
Quote from: The Unforgiven on May 07, 2009, 09:48:16 PM
I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.
lol, I didn't have to go to school today!!! :eusa_dance:
Anyways...
Granted, the wind stops blowing completely, but a freak storm hits and you house is destroyed.
I wish I could turn invisible at will.
Granted, you now can turn invisible at will. Only, as soon as you use your power you realize that you can not become un-invisible at will at all and while invisible you are so invisible people will not register you at all, making you unable to bring attention to your predicament at all and are likewise unable to become visible through paint, makeup, clothes, or any such thing either.
I wish I wasn't always in so much pain...
granted, but now the pain free state won't be as sweet.
i wish i had a woman.
Granted! you have one... ME! now that's a corrupted wish for ya :P
I wish I could hook myself up to my computer and download information to my brain.
Granted...but you got a virus!!
I wish we had a closer parking space!
Granted.....You now park in the the lobby and everyone sits on your car while taking lunch breaks and hanging about gossiping.
I wish this world wasn't so boring
Granted, the world is extremely exciting, but you are too boring to comprehend it, so you end up thinking the world is boring anyway.
I wish I had a faster PC.
Granted... however the very next day all PC's become obsolete.
I wish my hairline wasn't receedding...
Granted, now you find the hair all over your body grows at an alarming rate and you cant keep up! >:-)
I wish there was a chinese takeout place open at this late hour... ;D
Granted...But the only place open serves Virginia's idea of Chinese food with Italian seasonings
I wish my apt. (Flat) was larger
granted. ur apt's 1/2 sq ft larger. :D :D :D I wish I was 6ft tall.
Granted, but now you live in a world built for and populated with hobbits.
I wish I could get a good nights sleep... :-\
Granted, but now you cant get in a good days work.
I wish Indiana had more jobs
Granted, Indiana has a ton of jobs, but you can't get any of them because of a strange "incident" involving a bottle of ketchup and 27 cats. :icon_suspicious: :laugh:
I wish I didn't have an ear infection. :(
Granted, but now you find an infection somewhere else... :o
I wish I didnt have to clean the house today... ;D
granted but u gotta clean my apt :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I wish my biceps were bigger. :laugh: :D
granted, but they are tiny compared to your forearms, you now look like popeye! ;D
I wish there was something worth watching on the tube tonite, have hours of work left to do...
Granted, a whole slew of fantastic shows are on, but 5 minutes in you are interrupted by a couple of evangelists at your door, trying to give you informative pamphlets.
I wish the article I have to write for the San Mateo County Times was done already.
Granted, it's done, but the editors hate it so you have to write it again!
I wish I was a vampire. :P
Granted, but now you live in the land of the midnite sun! ;D
I wish I didnt have to get up at 5am tomorrow moring...
Granted, you have to get up at 4am instead. >:-)
I wish I could bring my Gameboy to school and play Pokemon Crystal instead of paying attention.
Granted... but you decide to play the NEW SONG TITLE GAME instead and strap a laptop to your chest so you can do so and give the teachers the finger every so often just for good measure >:-) :laugh: >:-)
I wish the folks that promised to help with the garden would follow through
Granted; they're all so pumped to be working on your garden that they trample EVERYTHING in their enthusiasm.
I wish I didn't still have Spanish homework left that I really should have done several hours ago.
Granted, you been booted from your class! :o
I wish that I could get some time off from work...
Granted.... You've been FIRED and replaced by a clueless bimbo that the Co. can control
I wish I had new tennis shoes
Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 11, 2009, 12:20:09 AM
I wish I had new tennis shoes
Granted; however, they are 6 sizes too large.
I wish I was omnipotent.
Granted ! but now God expects you to fix everything.
I wish saying good bye to someone you love wasn't so hard...
Granted, they leave before you can say goodbye.
I wish that I'd stop feeling so sick. I've been sick on and off for a few weeks now. -_-
Sure, you're now dead and incapable of feeling sick :D
I wish I was a puck-rocker with flowers in my hair. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyapY97ugNk#noexternalembed-lq-lq2-hq-vhq)
Granted.... You now preform Punk music nude with flowers in your hair
I wish I had an endless supply of blue jeans
Granted, but they are 6 sizes too small.... :laugh:
I wish I was a rock and roll star adored by millions.. ::)
Granted... You perform in the nude with Vexing and I Doing a rendition of Jimmy Hendrix's "Voodoo Child" But for some reason you sing Elvis's "Love me Tender" and the crowd goes wild >:-) :laugh: >:-)
I wish it wasn't so hard to figure dress sizes
Granted, but all you are allowed to wear is a pair of shoes and a mouse-ka-teers cap, allowing you to place the ears anywhere you like! :o
I wish I could find my soul mate...
Granted....You find your soul mate. But they drink beer and fart all day
I wish I could get my ears pierced
Granted... however the piercing tech uses a rivet gun. Not only are your earrings quite odd, their also permanant.
I wish that the shaving that I am but todo was a permanant hair removal solution.
Granted, but you forget and unthinkingly shave your head.
I wish I had shoes, pants, and mask to match my jacket for prom.
Granted.... You go dressed as a Ninja and don't understand why everyone keeps running away
I wish my dog could groom himself so I wouldn't have to
Granted, the dog can groom himself, but you can't! So you have to try and get the dog to groom you. Let me know how that goes...
I wish I couldn't get sick.
Granted, so you lose any sick leave and vacation time from work since you never need to take time off...
I wish I didnt have to face the dentist tonite for a tooth thats bothering me... ???
Granted....The dentist wears a "Jason" hockey mask and makes you wear sleeping blinds
I wish I could build a larger enclosure for my Iguana
Granted, you buy it a bigger cage, but it ends up being larger than your house, and you have nowhere to put it, and you can't sell it.
I wish I wasn't hungry.
Granted... dinner is served, in the form of an Asian elephant and you cannot leave the table until every last morsel is consumed. You should be grateful that I said Asian elephant, their smaller than their African cousins.
I wish I had some lamb vindeloo togo along with my jasmine rice...
Granted, but the place you order the "Vin de loo" from thinks you refer to wine made in a toilet,,, :icon_blah:
vin de loo anyone?
I wish I had tended to my motorcylce properly before storing it.
Granted, but when you go to take it out of storage you discover that by tending to it properly, someone saw fit to take it from you.
I hope my cat is ok, she's been puking all morning and I don't know why...
Granted your cat is fine however now it wont leave you alone ^_^
I wish i had my license
Granted but they refuse to put the correct gender marker on it.
I wish I didn't feel like a fat cow.
Granted. You feel like a fat whale.
I wish I didn't have to write an English paper.
Granted, you have to write 2 English papers!
I wish I had a glue stick!
Quote from: phantom_heart on May 13, 2009, 02:20:55 PM
Granted your cat is fine however now it wont leave you alone ^_^
That's ok, she loves attention so I don't have a problem with that! ^-^
Granted...you have a glue stick, but you end up gluing yourself...to yourself ;D [2+ points if you get the reference]
I wish Terminator: Salvation would come out tomorrow!!
Granted...But you're cast in the movie. (Last Action Hero?)
I wish my ferret would use his litterbox.
Granted...But your ferret thinks the kitchen sink is the litter box >:-)
I wish my Iguana knew what a litter box was :laugh:
Granted. Now that your iguana knows you're treating him like a lower class animal, he's mad you didn't wish he knew how to use a regular toilet.
I wish i'll pass my exam with very good marks.
Granted....You pass so well, out of excitement, the teacher draws a pentagram on your forehead with a permanent marker >:-)
I wish I could find a place to live that felt like home
Oh that's ok... I have a fringe. Haha.
Granted. The bathroom is seperate from the house tho.
I wish i didn't have to get out of bed to take out the trash
granted...your bedroom is now in a dumpster!
i wish i had a better sense of rhythm
Granted... however rhythm has gone out of style.
I wish I would be waking up this morning in Paris.
granted ur gonna be wakin up this morning in Paris -- Kentucky. >:-) :D :D :D I wish I was on a 6-month vacation with/ pay.
Quote from: Christian on May 13, 2009, 11:13:23 PM
Granted...But you're cast in the movie. (Last Action Hero?)
Yay!! I get to fight alongside John Connor and bring down the machines and Skynet 8)
(And no, the reference was to one of the American Pie movies, no brownie points for you ;D)
Granted...you have the next 6 months off with pay, but when you get back, you're laid off because your position isn't there anymore. I hope you saved your money. ;)
I wish it was sunny so I could go for a walk (it's raining right now)
Granted. The sun has expanded to encompass the first three planets, as scientists predicted. It is very sunny. Enjoy your walk.
I wish that shoes changed size in order to fit me.
Granted, but they think the right size is the size of a clown shoe!
I wish I had an iPod touch.
Granted, but batteries aren't included.
I wish my cat didn't walk in front of me and try to make me trip over her.
My cats do that too!
Granted, your cat doesn't walk in front of you, but you are magnetically drawn to it, so the cat ends up in front of you anyway.
I wish I didn't have any homework for the rest of the year.
Granted, since you've been expelled from school! :o
I wish my bills would be paid for by someone else... :D
Granted... but you have to pay my bills and all the other members, no your Sugar Daddy wont cover this portion.
I wish my cats, must be genetic, would walk in front of somebody else!!!
Granted. They walk in front of someone else who trips over them and falls off a cliff and dies, and you feel guilty for making that wish for the rest of your life.
I wish I hadn't left my money to buy a prom ticket at home.
Granted, it was stolen.
I wish I didn't have to wear a girl's graduation robe. >:(
granted u dont gotta but u cant graduate either. I wish I didnt have 2 wash my truck tomorrow. :D :D
Granted, its already being washed by the kind folks at the chop shop before being shipped overseas... :o
I wish I wasnt so conflicted about where I am in life...
Granted... you are no longer "conflicted," however life has now lost all sense of mystery. You are now close to being bored to death.
I wish that I could find some motivation to start looking for work again.
Granted, you're a day away from a refrigerator box under the train tracks! ::)
I wish late night infommercials would be replaced by something worth watching...
Granted...late night infomercials are now replaced by re-runs of G.W. Bush's speeches and public appearances, because someone thought it would be funny.
I wish I didn't have to deal with mindless idiots all day.
I wish I didn't have to speak to arrogant a-holes at work. Who think they know better than me! When they clearly don't.
GRRRRR!!
Jay
Granted, Now the arrogant a-holes DO know better than you!
I wish I could just wake up the woman I wish to be tomorrow....
Granted, you wake up the woman you want to be, but only for 5 minutes!
I wish I was turning 18 on my birthday today.
Granted, you wake up and find yourself in Iraq serving 3 tours of duty... happy birthday! ::) ;D :D
I wish I wasnt fighting a computer virus on one of my machines...
Granted, there isn't a computer virus, there's 3 computer viruses!
I hope Stacy's computer gets fixed soon.
Granted... after Stacy ships her computer back to the manufacture its easily fixed, than shipped back to her. Total time 6 to 8 weeks.
I wish I wasn't so evil at corrupting wishes.
Granted! The wishes you are corrupting are now uncorruptable (word? probably not).
I wish I could get Hannah Montana songs out of my head.
Granted... you now have her daddys (Billy Ray Cyrus) hit, achy breaky heart, stuck in your head. im so evil at this game.
I wish I could just find the 100k needed to fund my transition transformation.
Granted... One day you fart and 100K appears in your toilet. And you thought you were evil >:-)
I wish the guys that offer to help in the garden were not such screw ups and would just pay me to do their work.
Granted, but they only pay you 1 cent an hour and no longer do any work themselves.
I wish I didn't have to get dressed today >.<
Granted! You dont get dressed and nonna comes over to visit and doesn't knock!! :)
I wish i didn't feel so bloated >.<
Granted.... But now you feel high as a kite for no reason
I wish my dog didn't like to watch me go potty :P
Granted, now you have the sudden urge to watch your dog go potty.
I wish my kitties weren't so sick :(
Granted.... Your kitties recover, but now want to play about and randomly knock things over and bite your toes when your trying to sleep
I wish the guy that promised to hook up a hose bib in the garden would actually do it. He also promised to give me some tomato plants :P
Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 18, 2009, 09:03:17 PM
want to play about and randomly knock things over and bite your toes when your trying to sleep
LOL Yea that pretty much sounds like them normally
I love kitties too and wish yours all the best. But are you forget something? Au la la na, The wishes?
I do believe your right, my apologies.
*clears throat*
Granted, he does set up the hose bib, but then reminds you that your supposed to be doing the work for 1 cent an hour and docks you a days pay.
I wish every morning would be as wonderful as this one :D
Granted, but now every evening isn't so wonderful.
I wish my facial hair would vanish, without laser or electro, and I don't have to shave anymore.
Granted but now it has all moved to your knuckles!
I wish I could fly.
Granted, but now you've been moved to area 51 for experiments.
I wish I could win this weeks 49 million dollar lottery!
Granted. The economy collapses and the money is almost worthless. You might as well burn it for fuel.
I wish I had some high power hair gel.
Quote from: Mr. Fox on May 19, 2009, 03:35:59 PM
I wish I had some high power hair gel.
Granted: you know look like Don King.
I wish my GI tract would decide if it wanted me to be sick or well, instead of flip-flopping between the two as it's been doing since Friday.
Too easy!
Granted, it decides you are sick. You have strep.
I wish I was allowed to watch TV again.
Granted but you can only watch mr. Rodgers re-runs! (its a wonderful day in the neighborhood) >:-)
I wish no more members of my family would pass away :S
Granted, they are immortal, but your friends mysteriously start disappearing one by one.
I wish vampires were real.
Granted but they sparkle in the sunlight and are vegetarians *grins*
I wish we had enough food
Granted, your house is filled to the brim with dog food, and you have to sleep on the lawn. >:-) What? You didn't say it had to be human food. :D
I wish the moon were made of cheese. *Wallace and Gromit, cough cough* ;D
Granted: Not only is the moon now made of cheese, it's made of stinking, megalomaniactic cheese!
I wish I didn't have to do this presentation on Friday afternoon...
Granted now you have to do it first thing Monday morning and you stay up all weekend worrying about it.
I wish the job I checked on today was already mine.
Granted, it was already yours three days ago, now your fired for not going in.
Wish my wife would do as I asked...
Granted, but in exchange you have to be her servant for a year after.
I hope I get this job I'm going in for an interview tomorrow.
Granted! but I hate you because it was supposed to be mine! >:-)
I wish I had a hot dog now. All the talk in the ->-bleeped-<- thread (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,60131.0.html) has made me hungry!
Granted, a Great Dane with a fever of 104 shows up at your door, howling. >:-)
I wish my boobs were a cup size smaller.
Quote from: Cami on May 20, 2009, 07:05:58 PM
Granted! but I hate you because it was supposed to be mine! >:-)
;D
Quote from: Cami on May 20, 2009, 07:05:58 PM
I wish I had a hot dog now. All the talk in the ->-bleeped-<- thread (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,60131.0.html) has made me hungry!
Oh my!
Granted, your boobs are a size smaller, but your hips are now a size bigger. :o
I wish this headache would go away.
Granted, but at least you get to admire the find craftsmenship of the guillotine - one last time ::)
I wish I could find my car keys...
granted they're inside ur body like in the movie Saw >:-) >:-) :D :D Wish my truck didnt need an oil change :o :o :D
Granted... someone just stole the engine and wheels and left your truck sitting on cinder blocks >:-)
I wish my neighbor that yells at his TV all day and night would get permanent laryngitis.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 21, 2009, 03:05:25 AM
I wish my neighbor that yells at his TV all day and night would get permanent laryngitis.
Granted: so he gets a boarhound to bay at the TV for him.
I wish I could get Nair applied right the first time.
Granted, problem is you mistook it for shampoo... beautiful shiny dome! :P
I wish the day were over, have the next 4 days off of work...
This day is over. It turns out to be your last. You die in your sleep tonight. Rest in peace.
I wish that I were graduating this year.
Granted, you've graduated from high school. What an accomplishment!
I hope that the job I interviewed for today calls me for a second interview.
Granted, but they dont tell you they already filled the position! ::) :'(
I wish my tooth would stop hurting...
Granted. Now your throat hurts. Join the party!
I wish iPods & PSP's would play .avi files.
Granted! they do but most apps that convert them coast $30 to $40 !
I wish I had my degree already
Granted, but no one is hiring in your field... >:(
I wish there wasnt a distance between me and my sister...
Granted, your magically conjoined twins now.
I wish I could sleep easier...without sex
Granted, the thought of sex now puts you instantly to sleep... :o ::)
I wish I could see into the future... would make decisions easier...
granted u see in2 the future. ur gonna die tommorrow >:-) :D :D I wish I had tommorrow off. :-\ :-\ :'( :'( :D
Granted, You've just been laid off.
I wish I could have sex more often!
Granted, prison life is like that... ::) :'( >:-) :police:
I wish I hadnt overslept today and wasted half the day...
Quote from: Fae on May 21, 2009, 02:51:08 PM
Granted, you've graduated from high school. What an accomplishment!
How is that a corruption?
Granted, you woke up early and were groggy and grumpy all day.
I wish that I could dance.
Granted.... But the only dance you know is the "Potty Dance" and can only do it when you need to pee
I wish my laundry could wash itself
Quote from: Mr. Fox on May 22, 2009, 01:56:22 PM
How is that a corruption?
Granted, you woke up early and were groggy and grumpy all day.
I wish that I could dance.
Granted, you're standing on hot coals, but now you need medical attention for your burnt bare feet.
I wish the weather would hold out a few more days like today.
Quote from: Mr. Fox on May 22, 2009, 01:56:22 PM
How is that a corruption?
Reversing time? I thought you might be in college or older. Are you in high school?
*looks at your profile* OHH...you're 17...nevermind. My mistake, carry on... :eusa_wall:
Granted sis, the weather holds out and stays beautiful and warm for the rest of the week, but it rains and floods for the rest of the summer. Better get your rowboat! :icon_omfg:
I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend to go down on...*thinks dirty thoughts and can't do anything about it* :icon_redface:
Granted, you do, but its someone elses BF/GF and now you have to look over your shoulder...
I wish I wouldnt be lazy and keep ignoring the things that need tending to around the house...
Other than granting a wish corrupted, this has nothing to do with you.
So granted....You go on a house tending frenzy and where yourself out to the point that you believe Gremlins are helping you. Then you get hauled off to the "Happy House"
I wish I didn't feel stepped on
Granted... an Overeaters Anonymous Group wil be using you a chair for the next hour or so.
I wish it would stop raining...
Granted, but everyone else is also 25 years younger, and you have to relive life all over again without being able to change anything... >:-)
I wish I didnt have to work this weekend... :-\
Granted, but now you have no off days next week.
I wish I had full support of my SO :(
Granted, but you have to tell the entire world that you're trans to gain your SO's acceptance.
I wish I could draw better.
Granted, now the teacher will let you have the crayon box with 64 colors and the built in sharpener... :D
I wish my favorite Chinese takeout place was still open! :laugh:
Granted...now you just crave Japanese instead =p
....I wish I was the lead singer in a rock band =\
Granted, and then your Wii dies.
I wish I was shorter.
Granted, but everyone else and the entire world shrinks proportionally so that you are not even aware of it. It could be happening right now. Alternately, you shrink until you are two inches tall and are stepped on by an elephant.
I wish that some of the openly gay guys at my school were hot.
Granted, but since you now like girls, it doesnt matter.
I wish pink was a more "manly" color.
Granted, pink is now manly, not to mention mandatory for all males. All the females have to wear black. (Sorry ladies & gents)
I wish my summer break was longer.
Granted, you are only half as sad, but you think about Alex twice as much.
I wish for a new pair of shoes.
Granted, but the shoes are 2 sizes too small~
I wish I could play in the snow...
Granted, but the avalanche is probably gonna kill you.
I wish my business trip was over and I was at home.
Granted, but it turns out the previously stated avalanche destroyed your house.
I wish I never had to work again!
Granted, but life in a Tibetan monestary quickly becomes boring... and your there for life! :D
I wish I could quiet the stir of echoes in my head...
Granted, but life in a coma isnt really a life at all is it?
I wish I was a ballerina.
Granted, you are now Timmy Turner's fairy god parent in Fairly Odd Parents... welcome to cartoon life! :D
I wish I could leave work instead of dealing with this server crash...
Granted, work for you is done, but you dont have a job anymore.
I wish I lived in Florida.
Granted. The day after you move there, God declares that he will destroy all of Florida and kill its inhabitants. He does.
I wish that a certain unnamed individual was not infatuated with me.
Granted, a certain someone is no longer attracted to you. But all of the other men in prison with you are.
I wish I had a pineapple.
Granted.. your able to trust everyone, but nobody trusts you.
I wish that N. Koreas next nuke test blows up in their faces.
Granted, although you feel they truly love you, doesn't mean they do though.
Wish I could cast actual magic spells!
Granted but they all backfire on you.
I wish that there was interesting stuff on TV at 2:30AM.
Quote from: michellesofl on May 27, 2009, 01:22:18 AM
I wish that there was interesting stuff on TV at 2:30AM.
Granted: a whole troupe of ->-bleeped-<-s parades past your home at 2:30 AM in the most exquisite attire imaginable. ;)
I wish the office coffee didn't suck so much.
Granted. The coffee is very delicious, the most exquisite coffee know to mankind. It is Jesus's favorite coffee. It is awesome. However, there are no cups, and anyone who drinks straight out the the pot will be tortured with the pear of anguish, then burned at the stake.
I wish that I had lips like my avatar.
Quote from: Mr. Fox on May 27, 2009, 01:45:21 PM
I wish that I had lips like my avatar.
Granted: They're in a glass case on your wall.
I wish I could change from male-bodied to female-bodied at will.
Hey, I made that wish earlier in this thread! Granted, but you can only turn into an ugly man or woman.
I wish that I had telekinetic powers.
Quote from: Mr. Fox on May 27, 2009, 02:17:56 PM
Granted, but you can only turn into an ugly man or woman.
Well, I've already got the ugly man part.
Granted, but it only works underwater, and you cant swim.
I wish I could as much as I wanted, and not get fat.
Granted. No matter how much you eat, you lose a pound every day. This seems good at first, but you worry as your weight sinks to dangerously low levels. Eventually you disappear.
I wish that I weren't out of cookies.
Granted, your home is now filled to the roof with cookies, but there's no room for you.
I wish I could stop worrying about Peak Oil and the eventual fall of society, and just live my life...
Granted, you no longer worry about oil, or the fall of society, but you find life as a Goldfish to be unstimulating.
I wish I had a new dress.
Granted, but it doesn't fit.
I wish they made special compression vest swim suit tops for FTM's.
Granted, but you live in the Sahara Desert with no water, much less a pool in sight.
I wish I could fall asleep instead of another sleepless night... :(
Granted... you also get hit by flying debris when the RPG goes off, and wake up at the same time... and while you laughing at the poop in my pants, Im picking your pocket for your wallet! ::)
I wish there werent so many Steven Segal B movies on TV at 3am...
Granted, but you only fall asleep 5 minutes before your alarm clock goes off.
I wish I could breath underwater.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 28, 2009, 03:23:57 AM
I wish my old BDUs didn't make such great gardening pants and I could work in the garden in a sundress and pumps :laugh:
Granted, but the dress and pumps get ruined.
Quote from: Feever on May 28, 2009, 06:19:40 AM
I wish I could breath underwater.
Granted, you undergo surgery to give you gills, so you can breath underwater...but you can never again return to the surface world.
I wish that I would win the lottery so I could pay off my debt.
You win the lottery and pay off all your debt, which takes all your winnings. But you forget to pay the taxes on your winnings and the IRS takes everything.
I wish I was 20 years younger.
Granted, but you look way older than you are, and you have some horrible disease that shortens your life expectancy by 20 years, so it was all pretty much pointless.
I wish I didn't have to come out to my section in band.
Quote from: Mr. Fox on May 28, 2009, 04:32:29 PM
I wish I didn't have to come out to my section in band.
Granted: you have to come out to all the other sections instead.
I wish my knees didn't hurt.
Granted, your knees no longer hurt, you hate your kneepads.
I wish I was blonde.
Granted, but everyone in the world including you is blind, so you can't enjoy it.
I wish I didn't have homework.
Granted, you dont have homework. Today. Tomorrow you have twice as much.
I wish cows gave chocolate milk.
Granted a herd of cattle will show up at your door soon handing out chocolate treats, and leave "chocolate cowpies" in your yard.
I wish that a large suitcase filled with $100 bills would show up on my doorstep.
Granted, it does, but with it come the police to arrest you for possessing counterfeit money.
I wish computers had unlimited space on them.
Granted, but anything you save on them would instantly be corrupted.
I wish I could talk to people without offending them
Granted, but the dogs are eating the cat alive on the card table and the painting never becomes famous.
I wish to own Gustav Klimt's "tree of life" Painting.
Granted, your "ownership" of the painting lasts only minutes though, as the police catch you in the act of stealing it.
I wish for a puppy.
Quote from: Feever on May 29, 2009, 04:07:35 AM
I wish for a puppy.
granted.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh174%2Fdawnerj%2Fugly_dog.jpg&hash=7667d62a8de907142f20fbc309aad881e46f6bbd)
:D :D :D :D >:-) >:-) >:-)
I wish I was in hawaii again 8) 8) 8)
Granted. Your connecting flight to Guam leaves in 15 minutes. Better hurry!
I wish I had a diamond ring.
granted, but the diamond is so small you hardly notice it.
I wish for the stars
granted, but they blow you up...
i wish this meeting with my parents were over
Granted. An armed gunman breaks in and kills all of you.
I wish I were a better writer.
Granted, the stars are yours! But only until your sparkler goes out.
I wish mosquitos didnt bite me.
Granted, you are now so repulsive that no living thing will go near you... :'(
I wish I could go back in time and change the past...
Quote from: Chris on May 29, 2009, 04:26:54 AM
granted.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi64.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh174%2Fdawnerj%2Fugly_dog.jpg&hash=7667d62a8de907142f20fbc309aad881e46f6bbd)
:D :D :D :D >:-) >:-) >:-)
I can honestly say that is the scariest dog I have ever seen. :icon_blink:
Quote from: Stacy Brahm on May 29, 2009, 07:46:41 PM
I wish I could go back in time and change the past...
Granted, but you start a paradox and the universe is destroyed. Smooth.
I wish this weekend weren't so complicated. X-(
Granted, your weekends activities will go amazingly smooth. Next week, everything goes to hell though.
I wish my shoulders werent so broad.
Granted.. but your hands become the most "manliest" in the entire world.
I wish that it wasn't 80 plus degress with 85% plus humidity, 45 minutes before midnight. Ah, summer in South Florida!!!
Granted, nice category 5 hurricaine heading your way should cool you down...
I wish the nite wasnt so devoid of sound tonite...
granted, but the only sound you hear for the rest of the night is your neighbors annoying and painfully loud car alarm
I wish that I had a life. X3
Granted you get to live three people lives. But still only have eight hours to sleep.
I wish I had gotten of my lazy a## today and gone to the grocery store.
Granted, you no longer have a need to go to the grocery store. Your cupboards are fully stocked with corn flakes, but sadly you are out of milk and sugar.
I wish I wasnt woken up by the fire alarm this morning.
(Another wing of the building I am staying in had a minor fire. It smelled like burnt toast to me)
Granted. You were woken up by the sound of your neighbors having sex.
I wish that my father did not mow the lawn so much.
Your father never has to mow the lawn again. But, grass doesn't really grow in the desert.
I wish I had a boyfriend.
Granted, but he picks his nose in public and humps the leg of any attractive woman who passes his ... Just wait until he proposes
I wish that my room was magically cleaned
Granted but you can't find anything anymore.
I wish no one replied to my wish.
Granted, Julie Marie will clean every board members home.
I wish that my sleeping patterns would return to something approaching normal.
Granted, your sleeping patterns are now perfectly normal. For a Vampire.
I wish movies didnt cost so much
Granted, last night you hardly touched a drop, unfortunately your ability to handle alcohol is now non-existant. Try to enjoy your hangover.
I wish for a new hairdo.
Granted, welcome to your new look! ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi298.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fmm279%2Fstacybrahm%2F956-037Albert-Einstein-Posters.jpg&hash=6776d48e38a4715193ce281998428f55f14b2ce8)
I wish I didnt have to go drab to a family function tomorrow... :-\
Granted, you are now a dog, but you have to fight for your share of the food! :D
I wish one of you was going to my family get together instead! >:-)
granted, but julie marie is only doing it because its better than cleaning everyone's house. X3
I wish that Cake or Pie wasn't an option.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 31, 2009, 12:39:41 AM
She can't weasel that easy. I'm going while she cleans my house
Wait till the folks get a load of Virginia >:-) :laugh: >:-)
Granted....The option is now a Spam, fish and fruit smoothie
I wish I could eat sweets without getting sick :P
You're MARVELOUS!
granted, but instead of getting sick when you eat sweets, all you can eat eithout getting sick is sweets and that leads to your teeth decaying and you live the rest of your life with a killer toothache.
I wish that my ex would stop texting me
Granted your ex starts leaving voice mail messages and you delete the one from the person you have been interested in mistakenly.
I wish Julie Marie would hurry up and get here, my porch needs pressure washing again.
Quote from: Virginia Marie on May 31, 2009, 12:39:41 AM
She can't weasel that easy. I'm going while she cleans my house
Wait till the folks get a load of Virginia >:-) :laugh: >:-)
It will make my telling them about transitioning a lot easier, they will have already recovered from PTSD :D
Granted, Julie Marie is there directing your efforts as you pressure wash your porch... then she hands you a list of addresses for the rest of us... ;)
Cant believe Im saying this... but...
I wish it were Monday morning already...
Granted, hands Stacy the list that Julie gave me, directs her to also bring "cat surprise ball" remover for the pressure washer.
I wish it didn't smell like a hookers #####, sorry, swamp outside tonight.
Granted, a community of skunks camps outside and lets loose! :o
I wish I wasnt responsible for this POS code I didnt author.. but now have to support... :-\
Granted...
Prisoner
Outreach
Support...
It's seems your "dance card" will be full for the foreseable future. That gets you out of having to run tomato juice thru the pressure washer as well.
I wish that my neighbor hadn't possibly poisiened my cat awhile back, otherwise I would let her out to deal with that pesky pack of smelly skunks.
granted, but you become so spectaculary beautiful that no one is allowed to see your face without becoming blind.
I wish that I could drive as fast as I wanted without my car breaking or the cops pulling me over or crashing or any combination of the 3 ^^ (YAY no loopholes)
Granted, your gas mileage goes way down and you run out in the middle of "Delieverance" country.
I wish I could back in time and have actually gone to sleep.
Granted, time was reversed, and you did finally get some sleep, but you find it wasnt very restful, and you have to live yesterday all over again.
I wish for diamond earings.
Granted. You have to go naked.
I wish that I could set things on fire with my mind.
Granted, whatever you think of bursts into flames.
I wish I wasn't naked.... :P
Granted, but the nude beach closes in 5 minutes.
I wish I had green eyes.
granted, but they remind people of the split pea soup vomit in the exorcist....
I wish I wasn't so weak willed
Granted, you are no longer weak willed, you just cant seem to make a decision.
I wish it was tomorrow so I could go home.
Granted, but you could have gone home today.
I wish that the price of gas wasn't going up again.
Granted, the price of gas isn't going up, for me. For you though, it is now tripled.
I wish I had a day off this week.
Granted, but now weeks are 700 days long.
I wish I had a hippotomous.
Granted but you get to clean up after "hippy" with your bare hands. They poop around 200 pounds a day.
I wish I had a "bubble butt." <leaves a very wide opening 4 corruption>
<I'll be nice> granted, but as soon as you sit down, it pops.
I wish that my bras fit me better...
Granted, your chest is flat, and so are the bras.
I wish the tickets to my favorite band's concert weren't $89. :(
Quote from: Virginia Marie on June 01, 2009, 10:53:22 PM
I wish the current round of rain storms would end so I can get back out to the garden :P
Granted: they're replaced by hail storms. Time to get out the stainless steel umbrella.
I wish I had a bowl of wonton soup.
Granted. But I peed in your soup.
I wish that I had come out to my sister earlier.
granted but your sister revealed to you that she isn't your sister, she is you mother and that your mother is actually your grandmother and your father is actually your father AND your grandfather. ^^
I wish that I had more than one outfit that went with my kinky boots
Granted.. naked= two outfits.
I wish that I hadn't been a lazy slacker and slept all day.
Granted... you've moved onto purchasing "chasity belts."
I wish I had a "Cuban, Cohiba" to smoke.
Granted, but you only came by one because you are stuck in a detention camp in Guantnamo Bay! :o
I wish I wasn't still wide awake when I have to be up in 3 hours! :-\
Granted, but you scream in your sleep for no reason, and now no one wants to be your friend.
I wish I didn't have to go back to school tomorrow (I finished exams, but there is a bunch of marching band stuff I have to go to; damn parades).
No school for you tomorrow, or any other day. Inmates have to work in the liscense plate factory.
I wish I was fantastically rich.
Quote from: Feever on June 03, 2009, 08:56:04 AM
I wish I was fantastically rich.
Granted, but you can only use your wealth to buy me the things I want.
I wish kale wouldn't wilt so fast in the refrigerator.
Granted. Everything else wilts, including the eggs.
I wish that I could have any CDs and records I want free (everyone can pay as far as I'm concerned).
Granted, but because you get them for free, the music industry collapses, no more music. Great job :p
I wish that I had a better job than the one I have now (grocery store ::) )
Granted. I take it your upset that you don't get outside much? Couped up all day in the store. Kid, I got the job for you!! Outside. Fresh air. Stay fit. You get to be the Port-a-Potty clean out operator.
I wish that my cat would stop leaving hair-ball "presents" all over the house.
Granted, now the cat leaves them all over your bed.
I wish that I knew how to cook.
Granted... well heres the receipe http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis)
I wish, I wish, I wish that I didn't have a really bad case of "wisher's block" right now.
granted but all your wishes turn out to have really perverted granted's
I wish that she knew as much as I knew
Granted; she uses the knowledge to plot your impending demise.
I wish I knew a cure for my addiction to Spaghetti O's.
Granted. The only cure is . . . death.
I wish I could do death metal vocals.
Granted, but they're returned broken and in several pieces...bummer.
I wish I could get a new car for free...I mean, we own over half of GM, so why not?
Granted, but it's a super gas guzzling SUV, so it's free price tag will be more than made up with the nasty gas bill attached.
I wish I could have a nice costume for cosplay for little money.
Granted, I hear there's some great deals down at the local Salvation Army, but I can't guarantee you'll find what you need.
I wish I knew how to convert my new free SUV to use biofuel.
Granted... you find a new, "free", SUV that runs on diesel. You convert it to run on old cooking grease. Now when ever you get in the car and drive you cant help but pull into every fast food joint for a quick bite. Ohm, bio fuel exhaust smell like french fry.
I wish that the new GM will sell cars worth buying.
Granted, but they are sooooo expensive that no one can afford them. Our tax dollars are wasted. And the day of the GTO will never be ever again... :'(
I wish I still had my 65 Bel Aire. That was some car... :D
Granted you can have your 44, thats fourty-four, year old car back. Mich' takes a look at Stacy's profile and the wish is....
Wishes, Stacy share her memories of the first moon landing and not kill Michelle.
Granted, but Michelle is forced to listen to all of Stacy's elder relatives retell the tale... for 12 1/2 hours... without a break!
I wish that my 14 year old son wouldn't refer to his mom and I as "older than dirt" ;D
Granted now they want to know about the number of animals that "Moses" brought on the Ark with him, and what it was like to help build the bloody boat.
I wish that a whole new wardrobe would show up in my closet.
Quote from: michellesofl on June 04, 2009, 12:51:28 AM
I wish that a whole new wardrobe would show up in my closet.
Granted: have fun in Narnia.
I wish breast forms weren't so expensive.
Granted... my cat will be on the next flight out of PBIA.
I wish that this recession would finally end.
Quote from: michellesofl on June 03, 2009, 11:58:34 PM
Granted... you find a new, "free", SUV that runs on diesel. You convert it to run on old cooking grease. Now when ever you get in the car and drive you cant help but pull into every fast food joint for a quick bite. Ohm, bio fuel exhaust smell like french fry.
That's not so bad...I'll just get the "healthiest" thing on the menu and a bucket of cooking grease to go...FREE FUEL =]
Granted Michelle, the recession ends. It's now a depression and everyone is unemployed.
I wish I could date this girl at work, if only!
Granted, but she is nothing like you expected. In fact, She's completely psychotic and posessive... breaking up with her will put her over the edge. Have fun...
I wish that My softe pretzle was bigger...
Quote from: kisschittybangbang on June 04, 2009, 02:09:18 PM
I wish that My softe pretzle was bigger...
Granted: it's so big some crazy peg-legged fool harpoons it and takes it away from you.
I wish I had a cup of chocolate mousse.
Granted, you have a cup of Chocolate Moose crap.
I wish it wasnt raining.
granted it's now golf-ball sized hail.
I wish I started defrosting dinner a few hours ago.
Granted. It's also poisoned.
I wish that I was telekinetic.
Granted but it only works when you genuinely DONT want it to...
I wish that Sick of Sarah's CD ws available in Indiana
granted you added curry powder to water and had a curry popsicle for dinner.
I wish I had a partner who would take me to the new asian fusion bistro that recently opened near me.
Granted its taken away by the rattlesnake that is about to bite you.
I wish my laundry would put itself into the washer.
Granted, unfortunately you are still in it... :o
I wish my folks would stop asking me if I am ok..
Quote from: Stacy Brahm on June 07, 2009, 02:01:04 AM
I wish my folks would stop asking me if I am ok..
granted they dont wanna talk 2 u anymore :o :o
I wish it was xmas :D :D :D
Granted, but you've been bad this year, so only coal in your stocking... :o
I wish i could fall asleep tonite without bad dreams like the last couple nites...
Granted he's running after you, growling at you and barking right before he pounces on you for not serving him up hamburger for his dinner.
I wish my life was more exciting.
Granted, you are now my friend's pimps crack addicted prositute's crack dealer. Welcome to the exciting like
I wish that I wouldn't have been the other woman.
Granted, you werent the other woman, your boyfriend was. But you already knew that. >:-) >:-)
I wish I was the other woman. :P
Granted, you've become addicted to masturbation and become extremely jealous when you check out other people instead of your own reflection
I wish that people would support me as good as this bra does.
( Feever That was kind of harsh on my exboyfriend being the other woman... if he'd read that He'd cry)
Granted but this just keep growing and growing and growing and gro......
I wish that I had gone to bed an hour ago.
Granted, you did. What follows is others who have stolen your identity and are now impersonating you... :o
I wish I could develop a tougher skin when dealing with my ex... ???
Granted, you are now like "thing" from the fantastic 4 whenever your ex is around.
I wish that I had superpowers
granted it now sleets everywhere you go, even when inside.
I wish my seasonal allergies would stop.
Granted, your seasonal allergies have stopped, but you are now allergic to air.
I wish my job only required me to come in and pick up my money.
Granted, but you only can play the Gilligan's Island theme or that 30-second jingle from Jeopardy.
I wish I had about $100 to drop at Hot Topic. ;D
Granted, it's nice finding about $100 on the floor at Hot Topic.
I wish I had more music to play.
Granted, but you can now only play an abundance of songs that you absolutely despise.
I wish I was better at guitar.
Granted your "air" guitar skills are now legendary.
I wish that the grill hadn't run out of propane while I was grilling my steak.
Granted, a gallon of fresh propane falls from the sky, soaking your steak. Yum!
I wish the world was a better place. :-\
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on June 11, 2009, 01:13:18 AM
I wish the world was a better place. :-\
Granted, but you get deported to Mars.
I wish I had better hair.
Granted, but it's on your legs.
I wish that binder websites weren't blocked on our computer so I could friggin' order one (argh!)
Granted, they're not blocked but you still can't find a decent one that you like.
I wish that I could afford a new pickup (I have been without a car for a year :( )
Granted; it's three inches long and says Hotwheel on the bottom. >:-)
I wish discrimination was nonexistent.
Granted. You suddenly find yourself on the moon, where everything but dirt, a few rocks, and a couple old used spaceships are non-existent.
I wish this would get easier. :-\
Granted: it gets so easy a caveman could do it, and does, before you get the chance.
I wish I was better at bowling.
Granted, you get so good at bowling that it becomes boring to you.
I wish I had thought ahead in re: to tonights dinner plans.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on June 11, 2009, 05:50:14 PM
Granted; it's three inches long and says Hotwheel on the bottom. >:-)
I can't get to work on that! :D
Granted, but the reply doesn't get there on time.
I wish that I had a third option that didn't hurt anyone.
Granted- there are no more holidays. Ever. Now everyone has to work every single day of the year.
Geez I wish we still had holidays. :-\
Granted but they offend the "Goddess Virginia" so much that terrible events occur to us all on said holidays. Use your imagination. >:-)
I wish my knee would heal faster. :'(
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on June 22, 2009, 05:57:08 PM
I wish my knee would heal faster. :'(
Granted, but your nose is now bigger than mine. ("You know of what I speak" ... "sweet child of mine.")
I wish I would remember to do the things I forget.
Granted, but you end up doing them wrong. ;)
I wish I had a job.
granted but its over 50 hours a week and your pay is $0.10/hour
I wish that things worked out like I wanted them to
Granted. They instead launch attacks on everyone else and ostentatiously lavish praise on you, causing intense feelings of fright.
I wish I had more time for...stuff. >:-)
Granted but the stuff just isn't there to be done.
I wish that the person I want was closer to me than they are
Granted but they won't stop visiting you and they get annoying
I wish I had nice abs (lmao)
Granted: You're so shocked from the sudden, unexpected appearance of fab abs that you suddenly start hyperventilating and pass out.
I wish I didn't have to worry about finances for college.
Granted. All the colleges go completely bankrupt and close their doors for good.
I wish all my wishes didn't turn out so corrupted.
Granted, the thread dies and we all need grief counselors.
I wish I had a work permit.
Granted. you're permitted to work. Nobody said anything about getting paid however.
Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on June 28, 2009, 06:05:19 PM
Granted, the thread dies and we all need grief counselors.
I wish it ain't so!
Granted, the game continues, thus completing the vicious circle and making your wishes corrupted again. ;D
I wish I didn't have to do the dishes for a week.
oh that one is easy... granted! You don't do the dishes for a week and they pile up in the sink in a big stinky pile. ewwww!
I wish I weren't so afraid of making my next wish... :icon_yikes:
Granted. You post wishes without fear! But you get frustrated instead at your lack of time due to spending so much time boldy wishing for things online :P
I wish it was easier to learn Gaelic.
This particular thread for Corrupt-A-Wish hasn't been active in a long time so a new thread was made.
To continue the game go here- https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,85064.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,85064.0.html)