Q:What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
A:Look grandpa, no hands!...

Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A. Sue

Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A. Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel!

"This one's a bit off color" -George Takei

Buy a turtle.

Name it "The Speed of Light"

Gather your friends

Say, "Look, I can run faster than The Speed of Light!"

A Republican went to live in a new city. The residents explained to him that they were highly conservative; the only catch was that the death penalty wasn't allowed. The Republican said, "I could live with that." 

A fire chief needed change for a $5 bill. He asked the new guy if he had it. The new guy said, "Sure, no problem."

The fire chief told him, "That's no way to address a superior officer! Now let's try that again. Do you have change for a $5 bill?"

The new guy says, "In that case, no, sir!"

A peeping tomcat

A fireman climbed the side of a burning building and saw a young lady inside.

He said, "Wow, you must be the 3rd pregnant lady I've rescued this month."

She said, "But I'm not pregnant."

He said, "You haven't been rescued yet."

I can make that joke because I'm 1/8 Irish.

It doesn't matter what nationality you are. You can make a joke about anyone. It isn't to be taken seriously. That's why it's a joke. If you can't say a joke in front of the people that joke is about, you shouldn't be saying it at all.



Last night, I dreamt about mufflers. When I woke up, I was exhausted! 

Quote from: DianaP on November 18, 2012, 09:12:52 PM
It doesn't matter what nationality you are. You can make a joke about anyone. It isn't to be taken seriously. That's why it's a joke. If you can't say a joke in front of the people that joke is about, you shouldn't be saying it at all.

I know. That was a joke as well. One of my favorites since I conveniently have a dash of 4 different nationalities. I'm a mutt.

Heard these earlier.

Whyed the Tauren chase the Draenei?
Cause he was horny and wanted some tail.


A dwarf walks out of a bar...

All I have and they weren't even mine

I hope everyone (who celebrates it) had a happy Thanksgiving!