Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 01, 2013, 04:31:02 PM

Bonsoir Kuan (pas de raison à ce que tu sois seule à ne pas causer en anglais ici...  )
For starters it was still raining this morning and there have been many reports of "unidentified floating ark"  sightings over the last 24 hours... Other than that I tried to provide my own answers to the question you have just raised a few posts earlier and, since I think  I remember reading that are are post-op, at decision making time what was your own answer to the question?
Bises
Donna   

P.S. Just read your post where you say that it was the availability of Government funding that finally decided you but that can hardly have been the whole story?

Kia Ora Donna,
(It's going to be 17 and it's sunny and I'm just off the the local book fair-it's the Queen's birthday weekend-so long weekend)

When I was first diagnosed by a psychiatrist he asked if I had thought about having surgery, and my answer was not really, I had no 'sexual interest, I was just feeling the 'need' to live more of an authentic life ie, being seen and treated as a female...

However as time past, I got to thinking perhaps it would be a good idea if I could remove the obviously male identifiable object that still persists...It wasn't a 'major' issue -just an obvious reminder, but one I could comfortably live with if I had to...

As far as 'legal' recognition was concerned, in the UK the Gender Recognition Bill had just been proposed,(I was born in the UK) so my thoughts were I could soon have all the legal documents changed without surgery anyway ...But at a leisurely pace I still thought of the possible ways to have it removed(Bearing in mind I didn't have funds to pay for the removal myself)...

I contacted a couple of local surgeons who had previous experience with genital surgery (one use to do 'part' surgeries where he would reshape downstairs so it looked like the real thing but no entry point, just a pee hole)  I offer myself as a  "guinea pig", but was told they didn't need to 'experiment' on non-paying volunteers in order to improve their technique...The other no longer performed this type of surgery...

It finally struck me that there were people who needed kidney transplants and so I thought why not give up a kidney in exchange for having the penis removed (It made a lot of sense at the time) I would be giving a person in need the opportunity for a 'better quality of life' plus I would be rid of a persistent foreign body...

I wrote to a politician with my proposal and she kindly replied saying, for something like this to happen it would need to go before the ethics committee and she said she didn't think it would be approved, but she had passed my letter onto Georgina Beyers ( Who had had gender reassignment surgery) she was at the time a Labour politician...

Georgina provided me with information about the government funding scheme that was in place for gender reassignments...I saw my endo and the rest is history... 

Genital surgery for me was not really a "necessity" it was just a bonus...I had already accomplished my goal of living an authentic life style...Surgery was just the 'icing on the cake'...

BTW I had no choice in what kind of surgery I had, it was "colonvaginoplasty" or nothing... But I'm not complaining I'm happy with the results Plus "Beggars can't be choosers" 



Metta Zenda

Thread posted 30MAY13 and starter is GUEST status already?

Hummm . . . Have regretted some alleged trans "friends" but never simply wanting to be "just me".

Quote from: Kuan Yin on June 01, 2013, 06:06:55 PMBTW I had no choice in what kind of surgery I had, it was "colovaginoplasty" or nothing... But I'm not complaining I'm happy with the results Plus "Beggars can't be choosers" 

*sigh* Often thought the same thing what remains "down there" is 'lil more than an useless annoyance wouldn't mind just the proper appearance without all the pain of "functionality" . . . ( and that seems to be what troll was getting at? )

Quote from: Tristan on June 01, 2013, 06:01:26 PM
Oh wow. That's awful. I so had it all wrong. I thought there was some sort of funding or something to help with srs and that doctors kind of decided it. Is it different for some like if your a juvenile ? I mean I know I had issues when I was young and the psychiatric facility doctors pretty much told me it was the only want for me to really get better and get out. Idk maybe I miss understood. I thought it was kind if like that for everyone that needed to transition. Sorry for me being so ignorant girls

Hi Tristan,
Really nothing to apologize about, on the contrary, as this makes  your earlier posts far easier to understand.  To be honest, if things happened in the manner you suggest ie. that you were more or less pressured into doing GRS, I can only say that I am pretty flabbergasted. I know they do that sort of thing in Iran with homosexuels but wouldn't have imagined for a second that it happened in places that consider themselves to be more enlightened.
Happily it also sounds like it ended out be a good decision for you but I am still amazed, if not to say shocked, by the process.
Warm regards.
Donna.

P.S. I assume from other posts that your FFS was on your own initiative or was that also included in the package that was "recommended" to you?

Quote from: Kuan Yin on June 01, 2013, 06:06:55 PM
Kia Ora Donna,
(It's going to be 17 and it's sunny and I'm just off the the local book fair-it's the Queen's birthday weekend-so long weekend)

When I was first diagnosed by a psychiatrist he asked if I had thought about having surgery, and my answer was not really, I had no 'sexual interest, I was just feeling the 'need' to live more of an authentic life ie, being seen and treated as a female...

However as time past, I got to thinking perhaps it would be a good idea if I could remove the obviously male identifiable object that still persists...It wasn't a 'major' issue -just an obvious reminder, but one I could comfortably live with if I had to...

Bonjour Kuan, enfin le soleil dans l'est de la France!
To which I should no doubt add, "Happy Queen's birhtday"! Actually, from up here it sounds like you people will use any excuse available to take time off and go have a party...

Other than that, your story is quite amazing. We are in a very similar place regarding attitude to GRS but I hadn't yet thought of writing to a poltician suggesting that I might donate one of my other body parts in exchange for penis removal. As I have my thinking hat on this morning, it has just crossed my mind that should I go down this path, maybe I should suggest donating my, err....penis?   But no, that wouldn't work either, would it...?

More seriously, it does sound like you just went with the flow and that sounds good to me. With a big Asian influence in my life, my thinking has gone very much in this direction and I no longer try to force issues as much as I used to in the past. I find it is better to let situations mature until you arrive at a point where solutions more or less impose themselves. It doesn't mean being passive, I'm not. It mostly means being observant and knowing when the time is right.

With that, time to go out and do some roller blading before getting a lunch which will certainly be taken on the balcony today...
Bises
Donna

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 02, 2013, 03:15:10 AM
Bonjour Kuan, enfin le soleil dans l'est de la France!
To which I should no doubt add, "Happy Queen's birhtday"! Actually, from up here it sounds like you people will use any excuse available to take time off and go have a party...

Other than that, your story is quite amazing. We are in a very similar place regarding attitude to GRS but I hadn't yet thought of writing to a poltician suggesting that I might donate one of my other body parts in exchange for penis removal. As I have my thinking hat on this morning, it has just crossed my mind that should I go down this path, maybe I should suggest donating my, err....penis?   But no, that wouldn't work either, would it...?

More seriously, it does sound like you just went with the flow and that sounds good to me. With a big Asian influence in my life, my thinking has gone very much in this direction and I no longer try to force issues as much as I used to in the past. I find it is better to let situations mature until you arrive at a point where solutions more or less impose themselves. It doesn't mean being passive, I'm not. It mostly means being observant and knowing when the time is right.

With that, time to go out and do some roller blading before getting a lunch which will certainly be taken on the balcony today...
Bises
Donna

Bonjour Donna, et bon déjeuner,

suivre le mouvement is the only way to go !

http://www.dol.govt.nz/er/holidaysandleave/publicholidays/publicholidaydates/future-dates.asp  The Aussies have more holidays than we do...Mind you my life's one big holiday-even when I'm having to work 

BTW The book fair was good(Book fairs are always good for a book worm like myself) I picked up a few books:
"Beyond The Frontiers Of The Mind" Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
"The Age Of Reason" Jean-Paul Sartre
"The Blind WatchMaker" Richard Dawkins and one for a friend
"The Tao Of Psychology" Jean Shinoda Bolen

Metta Zenda

Ångrarna or The regretters is a filmed conversation between two men who both had GRS for the wrong reasons. They have very different stories and had transition in different decades. One of them is a gay man who had his surgery very early, something like the beginning of 70´s. The thing was that he is a "feminine" gay man and in the 60´s in Sweden there was not such a broad spectrum of identities to choose from in society. To have GRS had to do with fitting in. He was happily married for a long time and his husband did not know but in the end he told when they already where braking up. He now lives a very open life in Stockholm and is known by his characteristic red velvet suit. He seems to have accepted everything and seems happy.
The other man transitioned in late 90´s and is a completely different story. He actually was just very lonely guy and was cross dressing and somehow got in to going all the way to GRS. It is a very complex story with him but clear is that he was not sure about it and I mean really not sure through the whole process. And he had not reflected enough on everything. He rolled in to surgery being unsure and woke up with the thought that he had made a big mistake! I don´t like labelling peoples life's as tragic but this really is. So it was about different pressure from outside and inside that didn´t have to do with problems with the genitals.
It was actually first put up as a play where two actors reanacted the meeting the two men had. The film was released after a year or two when one of them was ready for it.
I thought it was very good to see it. I was questioning myself all the time even if I felt sure about surgery.

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 02, 2013, 03:00:00 AM
Hi Tristan,
Really nothing to apologize about, on the contrary, as this makes  your earlier posts far easier to understand.  To be honest, if things happened in the manner you suggest ie. that you were more or less pressured into doing GRS, I can only say that I am pretty flabbergasted. I know they do that sort of thing in Iran with homosexuels but wouldn't have imagined for a second that it happened in places that consider themselves to be more enlightened.
Happily it also sounds like it ended out be a good decision for you but I am still amazed, if not to say shocked, by the process.
Warm regards.
Donna.

P.S. I assume from other posts that your FFS was on your own initiative or was that also included in the package that was "recommended" to you?

Thant you I'm so glad I did not offend you or anyone else. But yeah I guess that's kind of what it was? I mean I don't think I was every gay and so many people have told me I did have issues when I was younger so it must be true? I know I can remember some of it and I did have a hard time learning to be a boy. But in the end I'm not really sure so much of my childhood is fuzzy at best. Everything did turn out well I'm happy and always thought that those who were able to transition young and have srs at some point ended up happy too. But I guess really are different from person to person . One more thing as far as like depression, regret and fear of being yourself aka true gender MMECT and like anti depressants or anti psychotics are commonly prescribed to transsexuals for a while right? Like before srs

Quote from: Julo on June 02, 2013, 04:59:51 AM
Ångrarna or The regretters is a filmed conversation between two men who both had GRS for the wrong reasons. They have very different stories and had transition in different decades. One of them is a gay man who had his surgery very early, something like the beginning of 70´s. The thing was that he is a "feminine" gay man and in the 60´s in Sweden there was not such a broad spectrum of identities to choose from in society. To have GRS had to do with fitting in. He was happily married for a long time and his husband did not know but in the end he told when they already where braking up. He now lives a very open life in Stockholm and is known by his characteristic red velvet suit. He seems to have accepted everything and seems happy.
The other man transitioned in late 90´s and is a completely different story. He actually was just very lonely guy and was cross dressing and somehow got in to going all the way to GRS. It is a very complex story with him but clear is that he was not sure about it and I mean really not sure through the whole process. And he had not reflected enough on everything. He rolled in to surgery being unsure and woke up with the thought that he had made a big mistake! I don´t like labelling peoples life's as tragic but this really is. So it was about different pressure from outside and inside that didn´t have to do with problems with the genitals.
It was actually first put up as a play where two actors reanacted the meeting the two men had. The film was released after a year or two when one of them was ready for it.
I thought it was very good to see it. I was questioning myself all the time even if I felt sure about surgery.

Thanks for the plot summary.

Quote from: Tristan on June 02, 2013, 06:22:30 AM
One more thing as far as like depression, regret and fear of being yourself aka true gender MMECT and like anti depressants or anti psychotics are commonly prescribed to transsexuals for a while right? Like before srs

Hi again Tristan,
In answer to your question, just reading all the posts here is enough to understand that a lot, if not most,   of us have been treated with anti-depressants at some stage in our lives but the extent & frequency  of such treatment probably varies a lot from person to person, just like pretty well every aspect of this journey.
I'd be far less sure regarding anti-psychotics,  which is a totally different issue.
Is there another question behind your question?
Warm regards.
Donna

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 02, 2013, 09:32:58 AM
Hi again Tristan,
In answer to your question, just reading all the posts here is enough to understand that a lot, if not most,   of us have been treated with anti-depressants at some stage in our lives but the extent & frequency  of such treatment probably varies a lot from person to person, just like pretty well every aspect of this journey.
I'd be far less sure regarding anti-psychotics,  which is a totally different issue.
Is there another question behind your question?
Warm regards.
Donna

Um... No not really , I was just trying to compare some of us and things. Idk I was just curious because so many people seem to be sad or un happy, even after surgeries. I was starting to thing if the did radical inpatient treatment long term like 2-3 years as well with med and MMECT maybe it would help them too but from reading some of the post I'm thinking not many adults would be willing to do that or maybe if might not work as well for them with like depression or srs regret that's all

Idk I'm probably way off again though. Just trying to think about what could be of assistance in helping others be happy and make everything all better for them to with no really bad past memories

Kia Ora Tristan,

I had to goggle search to find out what MMECT stood for = "multiple monitored electroconvulsive treatment". is that what's commonly known as the electric shock treatment ?

@ Julio, Thanks for the info on the documentary, I really like how the Scandinavians produce films/documentaries there's a rawness (a Bluntness) to them-which is really refreshing ...

Metta Zenda

Oh yeah it is. ECT. Just they do it more for two points. I was just wondering if it helped others too but yeah I think I'm off in that?

Quote from: Tristan on June 02, 2013, 11:28:50 AM
Um... No not really , I was just trying to compare some of us and things. Idk I was just curious because so many people seem to be sad or un happy, even after surgeries. I was starting to thing if the did radical inpatient treatment long term like 2-3 years as well with med and MMECT maybe it would help them too but from reading some of the post I'm thinking not many adults would be willing to do that or maybe if might not work as well for them with like depression or srs regret that's all

Hi Tristan. Like Kuan, I had to do a Google search on MMECT and can only say that it looks like you went through a few things that most of us have not experienced. I have no wish to pry so maybe you would like to leave it at that.
However if you have other questions which might  help you better understand your own experience compared to others, there is the potential to get a lot of answers here.
Take care.
Donna

Ok. Thank you ladies I was just a little curious.