Thanks Elizabeth:)
However we are no longer together, but I have stuck around wanting to help him/her out.
In the process my own soul has been destroyed and I truly feel broken apart now.



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Quote from: jamiej on January 07, 2016, 03:12:25 PM
Thanks Elizabeth:)
However we are no longer together, but I have stuck around wanting to help him/her out.
In the process my own soul has been destroyed and I truly feel broken apart now.



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Is there someone you can spend some time with that will make you happy and you can talk too?? a girlfiend, brother , sister,...anyone? I don't think you are broken at all I think your a exceptional...please  please talk to someone we need as many people like you in the community with the kind of compassion and kindness you showed.

Take  care

I really do hope you are feeling better soon...easy to say I know, You still deserve to do something nice for yourself.

Elizabeth K

Quote from: ElizabethK on January 07, 2016, 03:18:34 PM
Is there someone you can spend some time with that will make you happy and you can talk too?? a girlfiend, brother , sister,...anyone? I don't think you are broken at all I think your a exceptional...please  please talk to someone we need as many people like you in the community with the kind of compassion and kindness you showed.

Take  care

I really do hope you are feeling better soon...easy to say I know, You still deserve to do something nice for yourself.

Elizabeth K

Thanks Elizabeth:)
I guess there is always two people to blame in a situation.
But this one has been one lie, hurt and pain after the other.
If I actually get through this, I will be surprised:(


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It takes two to make love and one to make war. I have seen nothing in your actions that indicates you were to blame. The unfortunate part of this is that you will be the one who will be hurt the worst. I think you can get through it but we both know the life you will be facing is vastly different than the one you had planed.

I don't think anybody who has been reading this thread will place any blame on you I think all of us who are married wish they had a spouse as understanding as you and we also feel your other half behaved very poorly. I would like to have some words that would help the hurt go away but there is nothing I can think of that can do that.

Take care of yourself and spend as much time as you can around others who do care for you. At times like this, company helps.

Thanks Dena:)
I feel I acted badly, I got upset when he told me he was TG, then freaked out when he told me he wanted to experiment with men in an open relationship, I yelled at him because of how much pain I was in. In between all this, I was loving and supportive. It was the revelations that freaked me out, I never stayed freaked out for longer then two days, over what has now been 10 weeks.
Then I found out he was talking to another woman when we are still in the same house and I was stupid enough to believe he wanted to work out who he was, I freaked out again.
I tried to help by dressing him, doing makeup, his eyebrows... I didn't actually mind him being a woman, my love was deeper then that.
Now he (or also he is a she) has taken off.
I'm hurt and in pain and I fear this will all end badly for us financially with assets.
There is really only so much I can take.... Yesterday was the last straw.
I feel so broken apart.
I'm going to have to enlist some serious help to gain my confidence back.
I even got to the stage a few weeks back where I considered letting him/her experiment with other men so he/she could find themselves.... I don't know what I was thinking.
I feel right now I love him/ her more then myself and it's a horrible feeling.
I need to somehow gain my self respect back:(
Marie


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Hi Marie,

I just quickly read through this thread for the first time today- and I feel really bad for your loss of your SO who you had hoped would be your husband and the one you would have children with. Unfortunately she who was he is not faithful to your relationship and I don't know what else you could have done.

You, however, have developed many friends here I think and you can at least use your horrible experience as a spring board to help build better relationships in this world with people who are different and have problems being accepted by much of the larger, dominant society. We truly appreciate your kind spirit and wish for you to find real love and happiness in your life going forward! Hopefully you'll stick around here, it's great to have your perspective herel

Love,
Denali

Quote from: DenaliBe on January 07, 2016, 07:02:16 PM
Hi Marie,

I just quickly read through this thread for the first time today- and I feel really bad for your loss of your SO who you had hoped would be your husband and the one you would have children with. Unfortunately she who was he is not faithful to your relationship and I don't know what else you could have done.

You, however, have developed many friends here I think and you can at least use your horrible experience as a spring board to help build better relationships in this world with people who are different and have problems being accepted by much of the larger, dominant society. We truly appreciate your kind spirit and wish for you to find real love and happiness in your life going forward! Hopefully you'll stick around here, it's great to have your perspective herel

Love,
Denali

Thank you:)
I wish both of our behaviours during revelations, had of been different... But they weren't!
I enjoy knowing more about TG people and I have said awhile back, I would happily advocate for TG in the future if I somehow could get involved in a community.
I hope that He/she gets lots of support through a group community to.

Slowly I will piece my life back together.
M
X


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Quote from: jamiej on January 07, 2016, 07:18:59 PM
Thank you:)
I wish both of our behaviours during revelations, had of been different... But they weren't!
I enjoy knowing more about TG people and I have said awhile back, I would happily advocate for TG in the future if I somehow could get involved in a community.
I hope that He/she gets lots of support through a group community to.

Slowly I will piece my life back together.
M
X


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If it is not too much of a strain for you, you could read a few postings and give some helpful advice. It might give you a good feeling, and a feel of being helpful. It could also raise your self confidence.

I'd say watch out for yourself... do a few things you like... try to relax..

If there are things that anger you, you might as standard reaction try to count to ten...
or take a few deep breaths...
and trying not to fuel it by lashing back but sticking to facts, and stating your needs and emotions... without getting too loud
Firm but polite 

So you have a feeling you have learned something

Its not your fault imo, its like a pattern between people... breaking out of it and not lashing out while watching ones needs might help...

I wish you a nice wekend...
and as said there is a chat...

and well... don't be too sad, often circumstances are much better quite some time afterwards...
often in a way people would not have imagined...


*hugs*

Quote from: Laura_7 on January 08, 2016, 08:08:35 AM
If it is not too much of a strain for you, you could read a few postings and give some helpful advice. It might give you a good feeling, and a feel of being helpful. It could also raise your self confidence.

I'd say watch out for yourself... do a few things you like... try to relax..

If there are things that anger you, you might as standard reaction try to count to ten...
or take a few deep breaths...
and trying not to fuel it by lashing back but sticking to facts, and stating your needs and emotions... without getting too loud
Firm but polite 

So you have a feeling you have learned something

Its not your fault imo, its like a pattern between people... breaking out of it and not lashing out while watching ones needs might help...

I wish you a nice wekend...
and as said there is a chat...

and well... don't be too sad, often circumstances are much better quite some time afterwards...
often in a way people would not have imagined...


*hugs*

Hi Laura:)
I think giving some helpful advice is a good idea actually:)
Thanks for all your support:) xxx


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Hello,
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this. But is there anyone from Auckland New Zealand on this site, that knows where the TG support groups are? When I look them up via Google I just came across agender.org.nz with no real advice on support groups.
Thanks in advance.


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I did  some poking around on the internet and found a couple of links that might be what you are looking for or they may be able to get you in contact with the type of group you are after. It appears most of these groups keep a pretty low profile on the web and they are a little hard to dig out.

http://www.rainbowyouth.org.nz/about/
https://www.auckland.ac.nz/en/about/eo-equity-office/eo-information-for-students/eo-information-for-students-information-for-students-and-staff-LGBTI.html

Awww thank you so much Dena:) I have found it really hard to find any TG groups in AKL nz and I would like to pass some through to my ex.... Because I care a heap:)
Will check these links out:)


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HI All,
The day finally came last week for our house to go to Auction...and it sold! Quite a devastating moment for at least the first 5 mins as I realized that my entire last 3 years has come shattering down around me.
Then on Saturday I moved out, the house doesn't actual settle until April, but I had found a place to go so I moved.
Now I feel like I am right back at square one, but the context is different. I named this thread, "I feel Lost" and thats about how I feel right now.
I have spent the last hour reading through my thread, and realize all the things I have been through the last 3 months and I"m still here.
I have learnt so much about Transgender people through this process and I now have a deep feeling of wanting to help and support.

I miss my best friend so much, I wish we had of worked through it and both been more open to discuss things as they went rather then how we spent the first 4 weeks after coming out to me...hurting each other.
I'm not sure what hurts more now...being apart or what happened back then... I know I have become a far more open person...in some ways its even challenged my own inside beliefs and things I believed I thought strongly about who I am.
Continuing to support her is so important to me...but I"m scared that she will forget me, and anything I did to assist in the beginning...I"m obviously terrified of losing her and not being a part of her transition. ... is it even possible to care about someone this much after what we have been through.
One thing is clear to me now, that wasn't at the beginning...she could be turning into an alien and it wouldn't' change how I care/feel for her.
x

*hugs*
You have been through a lot ...
I'd say be happy for who you are..

well you might try to support your friend while still watching out for yourself...

and yes its good to support others, it can give you a good feeling...

I'd say be cheerful ... you can start now with things you feel make you happy...
look forwards and listen to your heart, what brings you joy ...


many *hugs* 

This is not the ending I hoped for but it's not the ending I feared. Often life gives us what we don't expect and that's what happened here. I hope you continue to remain with us but what ever happens I wish you the best.

Quote from: Dena on February 24, 2016, 08:14:29 PM
This is not the ending I hoped for but it's not the ending I feared. Often life gives us what we don't expect and that's what happened here. I hope you continue to remain with us but what ever happens I wish you the best.

.

Hi Laura and Dena:)
Thank you so much..... I am definitely staying around on Susan's, I get so much out of it:)
Funny how things progress... As I say she could be an alien and it wouldn't change my feelings for her, I have really worked out what true love is on my side. I treasure that at 38... I know what true love feels like. Regardless of where I'm/we are at right now.

I'm going okay right now, had a terribly sad day yesterday but I'm alittle better today!

I find this image today online... I like it.



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sorry

Quote from: stephaniec on February 24, 2016, 09:56:37 PM
sorry

Thanks:)
It's kind of ok.... She has remained my best friend...
Hard still the same:(
I have followed allot of your posts Stephanie and have found you very interesting:)


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Thanks

Quote from: jamiej on February 24, 2016, 10:02:41 PM
Thanks:)
It's kind of ok.... She has remained my best friend...
Hard still the same:(
I have followed allot of your posts Stephanie and have found you very interesting:)


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The Tshirt is nice
I also like the colour 

Well you could make a few helpful posts...

and do you have a few friends you could hang out with, and do a few things to gie you a few new thoughts?
What would you always have liked to do and never were able to do ?
Learning a new language ... starting painting ... learning to cook a certain way ...

maybe its time to try one or two new things ?


many *hugs*