Wow, I'm sorry to hear your wife did that to you Jenny , its not fair, its so point blank too when your still just trying to figure this all out for yourself, I have my GF well warned!
I know she wants to tell her sister because she is so LGBT suportive its not even funny, but I can't let her, I am not ready for it to spread!
Oh Sarah, do let me know how you get on, don't let my story get you feeling weird about it! :')
And thats great news, congrats on that! You be my one month older sister :3
I started my 2 month count down yesterday! Excited!
Has any of you girls been counting your messurements?
I'v had some serious changes on natural Herbal HRT, I couldn't wait so start, so I took something!
I may post up the differences latter!
Its a mix of diet and herbs really!
Good going on going out like that Jenny, its so exzilirating the frist time!
I still only been out once, I get so paranoid :/

Well I didn't have much of a choice. I needed my laptop and I didn't feel like changing just to do that. I will probably have to tell my neighbor at some point. She is bound to see me at some point.

Wife is still soon to be x wife. Divorce won't be final until at least October.

Christine, I would love to hear more about these herbs and diet you are doing. Not sure if the site will allow details though. I am currently trying to lose weight. My thought is it is better to do it now with T in my system before I go on HRT. I have been going in the wrong direction though recently.

I actually drive to my gender therapist appointment the other day in Jenny mode. I had makeup on, a nice blouse and pants that went down to my shins with hose and heels. I thought I would meet my therapist as Jenny the first time I met her. My next appointment is not until the 25th. Oh, I want to go see her bad!  She is so intuitive to my situation. It is invigorating just talking to her. If I get a wig this weekend I am thinking of going to my group session at the GIC dressed as Jenny. Probably will wear the same outfit I wore to my therapist appointment. The wig will make the image much better since I have very thinning hair on top of my head. Well it's so fun talking with you girls. Thanks for all your support.

Jenny


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Well I am sorry to hear about that, so she was probably just being flippant about it, which says a lot about her. It's too bad she has to make a hard situation harder... we're all here for you Jenny!!

Christine, the funny thing is I am not trying anything, and I swear that my body fat is redistributing all on its own. Maybe I can get a fb page made up soon so you can message me about the natural stuff since I don't know if it's okay on this site.

Stay strong ladies, it gets easier every time you go out!! By the second and third time I went for it I almost forgot I was doing something unconventional, and now when I go out in man mode, I find myself having to remember not to go into the women's restroom... I feel much better about myself, it doesn't feel like a "dark secret" anymore since I am not hidden away all the time. The first time I went out in the daylight into a store felt sooo wonderful!!! At the end of that day, I was giggly and when I contemplated why I was so happy I found that it seemed like the only time I ever dressed up I stayed in the house, or only went outside at night, so it gave a whole new feeling to it all. It makes it seem REAL, like, this is really who I am, I am not just some guy pretending, or being weird, I am a woman, and I can live my life thus way. Don't get me wrong, the logistics can be tough, and it could take a while to do it, but, it feels real now.

Sorry about the rant there, I just wanted to express bow good it feels and encourage you all to conquer some of the fear. Every little step feels great!! Well I'm ready for my beauty sleep.... lol... thanks for being here, I never could have gotten as far as I have without you!!!

Tasha

Oh Tasha, those were so good words!  They hit home for me too!  I hope I can get where you are today sometime myself. Thanks again for the support. I really think the separation from my wife is for the best even aside from those things. I just feel so much more free and my own boss. Of course I would never be able to leave my toes painted, we wear women's panties 24/7, or wear wonderful nighties every night when I go to bed. It makes me feel so good. As I have said before, it doesn't seem sexual to wear them, it just feels right. That's why I don't think I am just a cross dresser and more likely transgender. Of course, if I actually transition, time will only tell. However I think as each day goes by, I am closer to that step (or leap)!

I love you girls. Talk to you soon.

Jenny


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morning girls,
   worked on my car with my uncle last night... not as bad as i thought it would be. got a couple hours more tonight and she should be good.  phew I was really worried there are so many expense in transitioning a new car is not in the budget now. So, going to the fertility clinic next week shouldn't be a problem. Christine I liked hearing your story. I'm just a little nervous about going into the room and having to do my business.. i think it'll be alll weird and awkward.

Jenny congrats on going out all dressed up. For me everything has just been little steps but eventually all those little steps add up to a big step. I can share the feeling of not wanting to change. there were so many times, earlier on, that I would have to do something and I was like "oh, maybe I should change." but I really didn't want to so I wouldn't. I'm a movie junkie so in those first few months I would go out mostly in male mode but with my breast forms on. I wouldn't take my jacket off until I was seated in the theater. i figured in a dark theater  people wouldn't really notice. Eventually I got so comfortable doing that I went a little further... and then a little further. it really helped meeting people that were helpful and supportive.

When I bought my first pair of women shoes, a pair of knee high boots, I got home and it had snowed a bit soo I had to shovel the driveway. I was soo excited about the boots and everything I put on, what I call, my hoochie dress. 'cause it's a little short and has a tendancy to slide up. went out in my boots, dress and winter jacket and shoveled the snow. There was a guy walking his dog and he sseen me when I went and got into my car to move it into the drive way. he just stared down my drive way at me in my car as he walked past. which I thought was funny.

oh, on another note going back to my comment about going out "mostly in male mode." I only have one mode now, I'm a women. that is how I identify myself. So, it doesn't matter to me if I'm just wearing jeans and a t-shirt I'm still a women. I always identify myself as Sarah. I haven't had to yet but if for some reason I did I would identify myself, secondly, formerly Marcus. Alt his time I've never really struggled with if this is right for me. I always knew inside that it was. As much as I tried to go slow and contemplate if it was I almost couldn't. "cause no mater what thought I had about it I also knew that my outward expression wouldn't stop being female. I'm most excited about the feminizing effects on my face from HRT. I just can't wait for it. 

take care I hope you girls have a great day

Yes girls make facebook pages, i made on a while back but have only one friend -___- duuud
I can then let use know what I'm at,I think its working anyway, well by my statistics it is
Me and my GF wer so shocked we thought we had to be messuring it wrong but all the stats had changed abit, and all in the right directions too, so it can't be wrong, but I can't understand!
Oh you can give us your version of it now next week the Sarah, its pretty funny, what creeped me out most was having to take blood for std checks ha!
Iv only ever been with 1, person and my GF has only ever been with me.
What us up with your car?
I never miss the excuse to buy a new car, course they are never "new"
I'm addicted to cars, i wonder will transitioning deminish that, I hope not!
Out shoveling snow like that :') thats daring!, he was hoping you pushed that dress to the limit :') catch a glimpse of the goodies! :')
I always just felt female, like I feel likeceven physical I'm female anyway, I just need my hormone problem rectified!
I haven't been confident enough to wear panties or nighties as you say Jenny, I duno i think my beard realy puts me of! :/
Its sparse but still makes me feel like crap :/
Anyhow I'm off to bed! I'v my first meeting with the electrologist tomoro evening,
Goodnight or day my dears, which ever the case may be,
Love, Christine

Good luck on your appointment!  I can get away with it since I live alone.


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I was so slow at accepting it, that I went to bed in nighties with my wife looking like mountain man Jim.... lol.... don't let the beard put you off, you'll find a way to deal with it soon enough, I'll talk you you all later, still at work and have lots to get done!!!

Tasha

I guess I should clarify that I looked like mountain man Jim with a nightie on,  my wife never said anything about it, but as most of you know, she is still kind of mourning the lost of my beard... lol... I always had an issue with the incongruancy of it all, but she always made me feel better about it. Just do what you like, and what you are comfortable with.  Panties are tricky at first, I had a hard time adjusting my "stuff" to fit in there so I ended up buying them too big for a while. But after a while I figured it out, it helps if you push your testicles into your inguinal canal, which in itself is tricky too....


Anyway, movie night with the family, love you girls, have a great night!!!


Tasha

Hi girls,
I couldn't get to sleep so thought I would come on and write a few things. Christine, my car had some suspension issues. I took it in to get it checked out and They came back with a whole list of stuff to do but when my uncle looked at it there were really only a few things that HAD to be done. Just got to get new tires and a wheel alignment and she will be a happy girl just like me.  that should happen tomorrow.

As I mentioned earlier I have a Sarah (*&^ facebook and it is the only one I have now. If any of your girls want to add me just send me a private message and we can work it out. 

I have one nightie that I bought but I normally sleep in my birthday suit so it's a little weird sleeping in anything. I have some panties they are all a boy short style. Which is a style I have alway liked even long before I had any thoughts about being a women. though it was more when I saw a women in a bathing suit like that then panties. Something about about the skin being covered but still being able to see all the curves that I find incredibly sexy. Most of the time I've been wearing hip enhancers so that's been my underwear. the weather is getting warmer here though and it can get rather warm with them on so I'm not wearing them as much.

it's funny features I liked on a woman before I would KILL to have now. which is really just hips and breasts haha. and a cute bum but I already got that one covered. it's weird I notice those things on women soooo much more now. I think I'm obsessed about them now. I've often wondered if it'll subside as I physically transition. i guess only time will tell. goodnight girls time for me to try and get my beauty rest.

Oh well its not so bad then, shouldn't be to hard to get her aligned!
Ok here goes my story on Electrolysis lol
I had it booked for 5 my first consultation, now I work till 3:45 on fridays so I was a little tight to get clean and to get to Geneva, I'm half an hour away but trafic is always brutal.
I had an entire day of racing to make sure I would finish on time wine here ther and everywhere, anyway safe to say I broke a sweat, but finished on time raced home got a 5 second shower, never even had time to brush out my hair and it has gotten long now, acctually must attach a pic of it to let use girls see!
Anyway we set of at 10 to 4, ther is so much traffic in Geneva that I get to my appointement at 10 past 5 :/ disasterous town for traffic!
They didn't mind and we talked about lasser... yes lasser she said it would take forever to do a beard with electrolsys, and that its much quicker done with lasser first and then electrolsys to clean up the persistant buggers that just want to be a pain, and she couldn't even test me as I had seen the sun in the past two months! And I would need to wait atleast another month and see no sun atall, so now with harvest starting here at the end of August early September she says its best coming back in October. Well ther you have it, I will stay hairy for another 5 months!
She was really nice though, let me know everything I needed to know, and was great about the whole trans thing!
Anyway we finished up and I will book my appointment for October!
On my way home when I got on the highway ther car has a sudden loss of power, lucky I got pulled over, I had to get pulled to the nearest garage, lucky I think its just my distributor that is shot! And even luckier I have a second car to enjoy this long weekend!
Anyway im alive and thats what matter ha, I'd been on cloud 9 for a while now, it was only a matter of time before something gave in, lucky it was just the distributor of my cloud haha
Anyhow here is a pic of my hair and my measurements
Must get those facebooks for sure too

got my car driving like new again. YAY! 

exciting you finally went for electrolysis christine. yeah I was told on my last visit that they wouldn't do it if I was   tanned. but at least you know what to do and everything so that must be pretty exciting.

nice to know I'm not the only one having car problems.  cars can be fixed so it's not the end of the world though.

i'm jealous your hair is that long. I'm still trying to grow the side longer and I'm keeping the back short so it doesn't look funny. it'll be a while yet before my hair is that long. As all this is still pretty new I can console myself with the fact that I will get there. still wish things would go faster though. those are some great changes in measurements. the only thing I'm trying to do is lose some belly fat but it just won't go away.

I'm a little concerned about losing muscle mass when I start HRT as I'm not overly muscular as it is.  So, I've been working out and doing yoga to keep things toned. also been doing some cardio but I think I need to do more for me to lose the fat. take care. I'm off to do my cardio now.

Quite an ordeal with the car trouble for you both.

Shame about the delay to electrolysis. Can still start on laser though while tanned, I think.

Hair is defo the slowest thing to work on. Even considering biotin just in case it does really do anything.

If you find the answer to belly fat feel free to share it's the only wee bit left but the other changes let me handle it for now.

Muscle mass hasn't really changed much but there is more definition and maybe slight reduction, massive loss in power though. Whether that's from diet, exercise or hormones though is anyone's guess. Can't do aerobics with anything heavier than 4kg now and actually struggle to carry my kids but last year could have thrown them all on my back and the wife no bother.

Slightly concerning from a defence standpoint not having access to my freaky strength any more but also a relief as it makes me feel less like a machine. Funny having to fess up to boss the week before I came out at work that I couldn't even lift a filing cabinet solo anymore for delivery (and it was even empty lol).

Movement though is totally different experience my muscles do feel as though they have been rewritten and work a lot better feeling natural as I move, swing around and even dance a  bit when not thinking.

Does leave you feeling a lot more vulnerable though but if been dumping strength for a while you'll probably be used to it.

Personally still trying to lose a bit of leg muscle by stopping treadmill but might be a bad idea. Muscle hard to lose as the body will usually try to maintain whatever you use. Need to add something to make sure I still have at least 2 exercise sessions a week. Maybe back to pilates.

To get the body of a fit female I need only do what they do and the body will adapt. I copy the gorgeous girl in my class and just pray for half her looks someday.

T count going amazing 0 free T and total under 0.5nmol/L probably 0 too so hoping that means muscle changes should now be a 1 way trip.

Wow. What a day. I spent most of the day today as Jenny out and about. I had my support group meeting tonight as well as a clothing swap at the Gender Identity Center (GIC) this afternoon. I wanted to dress for the occasion so I put on my outfit that I wore to my therapy meeting (hose, heels, pants, and blouse), walked out of my townhouse, got in my truck and drove away to the meetings. Of course it is a safe environment at the GIC so that wasn't an issue but I had to get there first!  I also went out with another trans-woman from the meeting for dinner. Of course then had to drive home as well. No big deal. Nobody cared a bit. I am sure there will be difficult times but today was great!  What an exhilarating experience it was!


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Aw thats good you got her sorted Sarah, and yes atleast now I know to avoid the sun like the plague from September on! It will be tough for me to do :/
My hair grows very fast, I had cut it up short last year, the boss asked me too :@ he wanted me to do a bit of sales work maybe, but that never happened and I will never cut it again either!
You know Sarah, best thing to do with belly fat I think, is probably to go joging, maybe give the odd sprint when you feel up to it. I think its the cardio, and maybe even the vibrations through your body that cause that type of fat to be lost!
I too have been conserned about the loss of strength, my work does require quiet abit of strength and stamina, though I don't mind if I can't keep up I will go elsewhere, thers none in that place comes even close to me, so even If I was cut in half I would still haul more ass, lol, they love me down ther, As regards work ethic they won't get better so I hope to not be fired when I come out, I'v given my all to that place.

Jerrica, I think the problem Isn't really the tan, I think it even though the redness of sun heated skin stays that way much longer under the surface, they obviously are aiminging for the best results and no risk of marks. I don't mind as the fear of marks really scares me. :S
Ha thats funny to about lifting the kids and wife, maybe they got bigger since last year?, probably is the muscle loss, and what you said is a very good point none of us have mentioned here before, seld defense!, what are we gona do about it?
I think I might take some clases, even boxing is great for that, strength, knowing how to hit if needs be, serious excercise, and confidence too, my brother used to box, he was really good, he was so fit and strong when he was ther, a serious hard hitter!
Definitly something we should think about anyway!
But anyway,... give me your hormones Jerrica D:
You have like no T atall!
And Jenny thats great about getting to go to your meeting feeling rhe way you should, I can't really talk, as I'v only done it once, but I was wistled at three times just to get to my therapist, that had my head in tge sky, gf was like "told you so" I thought I looked like crap, was such a rush to get ther, Geneva always is traffic!
How did you get on at dinner, ordering? How is your voice?
Still working on mine, but I think whistling n watnot would soon stop if they heard me :/
Its nice you did that though, happy for you!

Love you Girls, Christine

To be honest, I didn't worry about my voice. I am sure the knew exactly what I was. I don't pass at all. My beard still shows even though I shaved right before I left and I still have not gotten a wig yet so my male pattern baldness is right there in plain view. I guess I just decided I didn't care what they thought. I just felt good being a woman regardless of my image.  I am not really sure I will do much with my voice. There are cis women out there with every kind of voice imaginable. Low, medium, high ect. My voice is my voice and it someone doesn't like my voice that is their problem, not mine. I have another meeting to go to Tuesday night. Instead of pants, I am going to wear a skirt!!  [emoji2] I can't wait!


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Glad to hear about your day out Jenny must have been great to just be yourself and have fun.

Yeah fortunately this thread just reminded  to put sunscreen on so thank you <3

Wish I had your luck with fast hair Sarah.

For skin marks can't be too careful especially for face.

Hormones are all mine mine mine lol
Wish I could share but I can barely afford my own. Oh and they arrived yesterday a week earlier than expected so YAY. I really need to reorder earlier next time as I only had 18 days of life left!!!!!!!

Anyhoo defence stuff. I just give myself the same advice as my daughters. If you can run then run. If you can't run then go for the eyes they're the testicles of the face. Sorry just had to give the full quote lol. If you somehow need to attack such as to save someone else take them down fast or hit and run, again using the eyes if possible.

Voice is my major weakness but have been told it seems to changing a bit on it's own but we'll see. On list meantime for speech therapy.

Fantastic boost to be noticed appreciably must have made your day

that's great that you spent a day out as jenny, jenny. it's nice to know you had a good experience.

As for the voice you sound exactly like me when i was starting out. I wasn't worried that much about it although I knew I'd have to do something about it eventually for me to be passable. I just thought my voice is my voice and who cares what anyone else thinks. now that I'm living as a women full time I HATE my voice. I wish I could fly to Korea and have VFS tomorrow.

I'm not saying that you will feel the same but that was my experience. I think, in our transitioning, our own opinion is the only one that really matters. we're the one that have to be happy with things. I hope for myself and all of you, is that we're able to do everything and anything it takes for us to accomplish that.

I was wondering how long it would take for a moderator to do something about my thread. It was the longest introduction thread ever. haha took me a min to figure it out I was soo confused at first. So, my introduction is one page now and the rest was moved over to general discusions. which is really where it belong I just didn't want to go start a new thread.

we have talked a lot about hair removal before, which is a long grueling process. Christine got me thinking of growing hair out posting her pic. where are you girls at? for me, on the sides my hair is just getting to the bottom of my ears. I'm keeping the back cut off while the side catch up. they say hair grows about 1/2 an inch a month on average. mine grows faster then that although I'm not exactly how much. But even with fast growing hair it figure it'll be around the end of the year for me to have shoulder length hair. I have a long neck, I think I'm part giraffe. haha it's almost 5 inches (13cm) from my jaw to the top of my shoulders.

Jerrica, you are on hormone, I think. have you noticed any changes in how fast your hair grows? I wondered about that since hormones effect hair growth. 

take care girls.

Yeah been on them for 3 months so far.

Hard to say about increase in growth. I'm always looking at how far left to go Vs how far I've come kinda thing but stopped cutting last August at about half an inch all over.

Hair length just now sounds pretty similar I can cover my ears and also have a rather long 5 inch neck, seriously I just measured it, (which got me teased in my youth as giraffeboy but now I like as it looks elegant and even a bit dainty as I love to tilt my head when asking questions or thinking etc. Funny how greatest weaknesses in youth become greatest strengths now like skinny, lack of body hair, trouble putting on muscle, running like a girl etc OMG so funny thinking about it all now with all those signs). Fringe just reaching eyebrows 3 inches and back long enough to curl against the collar of my jacket about 4 inches. Yeah that's definitely slow especially now I think about it as I don't cut it at all. E increased as of last week  so maybe that will help but no idea.

Just dying to get enough to pull back into a decent ponytail but probably be end of the year at best.

Ok now I've actually measured it I think im going to try speed it up. Time for a new diet program as old one probably slowed it down by not eating nearly enough to grow anything let alone hair.

Well looked after though dyed 4 weekly, washed and conditioned every 2 days.  You know the basic stuff.

Research time to design a hair and general growth diet next lol. Think I might be finished being anorexic now.  I'm skinny enough and have my own name it's time to grow stuff.

Glad you're here to help me think about things as I was just leaving my hair alone until now.

If you have any tips or tricks for hair please let me know as I'll be starting from scratch on this one.

I'm a little jealous you're on hormones Jerrica but I'm only weeks away Yay!!! What changes have you seen so far? I've heard its  between 3 and 6 months that things really start to change. But it seems most women start to see changes before that.

Yeah I really want to have a pony tail or maybe even pig tails haha but that'll be sometime next year.

I don't have any tips on growing hair faster. I did some research and nothing I found was that credible. A healthy diet so your body has what it needs to make hair seems the best way. Not to mention all the other benefits of a healthy diet. As for healthy hair getting it trimmed every couple months to remove split ends is a good idea. Also doing a protein treatment can be good for damaged hair. Personally I just take a couple eggs, beat them, add some olive oil and coat my hair with it. I put on a shower cap so it doesn't get everywhere and leave it in for 20 - 30 min. Then wash it out.  My hair has never been softer.

On another use for olive oil... I was told by a women, with much harder nails then I, that soaking your nails in warm olive oil would make them harder. I've yet to try it though. I will do it when I get home later. Really want some decent claws but every time I get them to a decent length I break one. Grrr I've though about getting them done but it'll cost be a fortune getting them filled as they grow. So, I would prefer real nails.