I really just don't want to change the subject here... I have another thread that seems more appropriate. I love having you all to talk to and will definitely take advantage of it whenever possible!!! This just feels like too positive a thread to start talking about depression and anxiety about things that seem beyond my control, but in the grand scheme are not. It feels like I have been working hard my whole life to do the right thing and go somewhere, but I get punished and told I do not do enough and then I feel like I am stuck in life and will never go anywhere. If anyone has ever spent a month or two in jail, it's like that, the world exists outside the walls, but you can't get there. After a while, you begin to doubt it's existence. Once in a while, you get a small glimpse, and it's like getting out, you can't focus on anything far away, and it doesn't feel like you could get there if you tried.
Damnit, you got me rambling on here again.. we'll as long as you all don't mind....
Thanks for your support, it helps being able to talk about it at least....
And Christine, the voice thing, you don't have to worry around us.... I am pretty sure that my voice gave away thus morning while buying coffee.... wig, makeup, earrings, boobs.... and still referred to as sir..... but.... now at my wife's appt... the nurse said "that was nice of her to bring you here", to which my replied "well she kind of wants to be here with me, she is my wife".... so ya, out doing normal stuff today, and I was allowed to wake up, get ready as me, and go do "life things" as me today. We are all a little self conscious, but we have to suck it up if we want to live this way. The lucky thing is we have each other to practice with.... then we can build Co defence BEFORE we suck it up.....
Anyway, thanks again ladies!!!