One of those Religous ones, you know you ain't got a hope.
That is acctually an unreal Idea, 5 years time when things is all going good, we meet up for say a week or something, have to make a holiday of it being wherever we meet up its going to be far away from all of us!
Maybe somewher we can chill on the beach and catch a tan! :')

Aaaand, margaritas!!!

I am definitely in!  But how do we determine the time and place?  Hawaii? Rio? French Riviera? We could hang out on the beach topless and drive the guys crazy!  Wait.  I would be really old by then.  Maybe not. 

Christmas, 2021?  New Years, 2022 New York City?

Jenny

Oh those are good idea, I'm not sure though we will discuss the location further! Would need to be summer time to maximize the heat! :')
Hawaii sounds pretty cool though again know nothing about it, or Jamaica!
This is reminding me of tge film love affair!

Hehe. I looked it up.  Too funny. Jamaica sounds good. Never been there. I hear if you go off the tourist area it can get dangerous for a bunch of girls though. Don't really know though. No countries where ->-bleeped-<- is illegal of course. Wouldn't want to end up in some dank prison. That would probably ruin the trip.


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Ah 5 years. Fun to imagine how we'll all be by then. I would like to think finally complete in every way.

Sunny trip sounds good I've always been a last minute gal though. Not so good with the plans but usually make things work at final moments somehow.

look what you started jenny, hehe

when I first read it my first thought was of a cruise. maybe a trans Atlantic.... or Caribbean and do a little island hopping.

we talked about traveling at a meeting a while back and it was said basically anywhere they carry guns at the airports is usually not safe to travel to if your trans. Brazil isn't trans friendly so no rio. just reading online and Jamaica, barbados and the cayman islands aren't LBGQT friendly.

a tiny little island called Seba is, apparently, the only carribean islands that allows gay marriage and there are companies that specifically do  LBGQT tours and outings. there are a few other friendly islands. namely the french, dutch and american ones. we got lots of time to plan and figure out what to do and when exactly. but instead of 5 years how about 4 something about 2020 I like the sound of. Like we will all be seeing clearly by then. So i'm just throwing december 2020 out there. maybe christmas and new years??

Well, I'll have to look up the film.... but I have been wanting to meet you all for real once we started talking. I feel kind of lonely sometimes. And it always feels like a pipe dream to get to go meet. I actually feel like I'm I  a fishbowl because of the little amount that I have traveled. The rest of the world seems fake, you know, like a story to make you dream big, even though you can never really get there.....

Obviously a little down still.... work life is tough right now and my life just doesn't feel like its mine. Sorry, I don't want to change the mood here, just.... well I honestly hope we get to meet sometime.....

Ahhhh!!! Meant to send that way earlier. . I hope I get to go with you all!!!!

Yea a cruise could be an idea, I'v never gone on one!
Oh we will see what comes up!
I can get off anytime thoughout the year so I shouldn't have a problem with that as long as I know in advance!
You should definitly travel if you can Tasha, even if its not the most expensive place, even in your own area, I drive everywhere!
Anyway I hope by 2020 we should be all well on our way, and the trans thing will be talk of the past!

Yes!  I like the cruise idea!  Now, Tasha, you are scaring me a little bit. You hang in there girl!  You can do it. I am really sorry you are going through some tough times right now. That's what we are here for. To help you get through it. If we do this trip, it has to be all of us. All for one, one for all!

Do you all skype? We could actually meet online now. And actually talk and see each other. That might be fun. Thoughts?


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Something like ghat might work Jenny, although I do t have a Skype and am  beginning to lost track of account to and passwords as of right now. I g+ usually, they have hangouts, but not quite yet.

Sorry about all that yesterday was a particularly bad day, I just  red to get a few things figured out and move on... I always thought the trans thing would feel  bigger than problems that are trivial, but it is not so much a problem as a process now, so feeling some of my old triggers again. Intellectually, I know other places exist, but sometimes I feel like I'm in a computer program, and I am only given access to as much of the world as I need to exist..... hard to explain exactly, but believe me, I am itching to get away, almost just to prove to myself that the thought of being I  a computer program is crazy..... but really I would just like to experience other places.....

Don't let me run the conversation here, this will be the last I post about it here.... maybe on a different t thread.....

Thanks for your support ladies, we'll talk again soon!!!

Tasha

Actually, that wont be the last time.  Remember, the main purpose for this was for support.  I know we are having fun but it is most important for us to stick together and support each other and if you are feeling down for whatever reason, you need to let us know so we can help you get through it.  These boards have been so helpful to me and meeting you girls has be a huge bonus.  I feel like I have made friends for life here.  I really do.  We are here for you girlfriend!

Jenny

Oh the Skype thing would be great if I had the confidence in myself to do it, my voice is terrible and im so embarassed by it, and sharring tge appartement makes it realy hard too :/
I know exactly what you mean Tasha, like when you start the day and ther ain't a being around, then people and cars suddenly spawn all around your path, but just beyond what you can see ther is still nothing, I get this feeling at times too, its just a mad thought really more than anything!
But don't worry too much about these sorts of things, it happens to the best of us!
We just gotta keep our heads high and move on :3
The amount of places wher we would not be safe is just really sad though :/

I really just don't want to change the subject here... I have another thread that seems more appropriate. I love having you all to talk to and will definitely take advantage of it whenever possible!!! This just feels like too positive a thread to start talking about depression and anxiety about things that seem  beyond my control, but in the grand scheme are not. It feels like I have been working hard my whole life to do the right thing and go somewhere, but I get punished and told I do not do enough and then I feel like I am stuck in life and will never go anywhere. If anyone has ever spent a month or two in jail, it's like that, the world exists outside the walls, but you can't get there. After a while, you begin to doubt it's existence. Once in a while, you get a small glimpse, and it's like getting out, you can't focus on anything far away, and it doesn't feel like you could get there if you tried.

Damnit, you got me rambling on here again..  we'll as long as you all don't mind....

Thanks for your support, it helps being able to talk about it at least....

And Christine, the voice thing, you don't have to worry around us.... I am pretty sure that my voice gave away thus morning while buying coffee.... wig, makeup, earrings, boobs.... and still referred to as sir..... but.... now at my wife's appt... the nurse said "that was nice of her to bring you here", to which my replied "well she kind of wants to be here with me, she is my wife".... so ya, out doing normal stuff today, and I was allowed to wake up, get ready as me, and go do "life things" as me today. We are all a little self conscious, but we have to suck it up if we want to live this way. The lucky thing is we have each other to practice  with.... then we can build Co defence BEFORE we suck it up.....

Anyway, thanks again ladies!!!

Absolutely!  We are here for all of us and consider it a safe place to talk about ANYTHING. No judgement here ever. We are all going through the same things. Oh Christine, again, we are safe here and if we do the skype thing, please don't let the voice thing deter you. Regardless of pitch, I would love to hear your accent!  Love those European accents. Maybe you can get away from your room mates sometime. I would love the opportunity to hear and see you all live. Consider it practice. We could all practice our voices on each other without fear of judgement.


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Whoops my last post didn't post earlier oh well.

Cruise defo on my "someday" list but I rarely leave the city much less the country but someday who knows.

Sorry to hear about your troubles at work Tasha and hope everything works out ok in the end. Will try find your other thread soon as I am always intrigued in how others think especially considering the weirdness from my own head over the years.

Skype etc I don't do from terminal shyness. Even using FB as more than a diary is newish to me as is this forum. Didn't really do conversation much before this year. For now text based is my limit.

The program thing makes a lot of sense. Gerard was primarily a machine (construct) to interact with the world using a ridiculously complicated rule system to the point if presented with a situation I hadn't prepped/programed for he would basically freeze.

For myself it turned out to be a hardware issue instead of software as the brain was incompatible with the body. Hormones fixed my wiring and made me real instead of just a simulation. Too easy but true for me so happy to take it.

2020 sounds amazing just thinking I should be 100% me by then in every way body, hair, nails, face, trach, dental, laser, electro, voice & GRS all finished and just be able to go about my life as Jerrica doing anything I want to (like go swimming). FFS an option but laser guy says it shouldn't be necessary for me so here's hoping.

Good place to be in when everything is a process rather than a choice. Only real  choice is life or death the rest is just details.

Well, one day away from work and I feel better, but am more angry about it all.... really sucks to be so stuck in a situation....

Had a nice day out with my wife though. Went all over town and comfortably interacted with many people, in daytime even!!! I don't feel so well about my appearance thus evening, which makes me question it this morning... but I had no problems, and it seemed like life as usual....

Gotta say thank you again for being here, and hope you all have a wonderful night!!!!

I wouldn't worry, too much about the not passing thing,
Especially since you have no hormones in you yet!
Even if you wer born natural girls but wher reared as men you would find it impossible to be girls too, its such a learn attitude persona that people have!
Its like tge gays look how fem some of them are, and ther voices too alot of the times? Thers nothing that says gay men had any less testosterone, its mostly just learned manerisims!
We will get there with patience and time!
Being in the very physical line of work like you Tasha, I do really understand, and whats worse is knowing one day you really may not be able to hack it :/
We can always search for work elsewher though.
It ain't that easy though...

hi girls,
   Looks like most of us like the idea of a cruise so perhaps we have a good starting point for a trip. Skype would be fine by me although I've never used it before.

Jerrica I think I will be in the same position as you having everything done by then.

Here is a link to Tasha's thread https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,204983.new.html#new
Not that's it's a problem for you to talk here Tasha. This is OUR community thread for us to be there for each other.
it's great you had a good time going out. It took me a while to get totally comfortable going out. But the more I went out the more I discovered that most people didn't pay much attention to me and along the way I met some really great people.

As for passing I don't let it stop me. I'm not passable most of the time I'm not crazy about it. It does 'cause me some dysphoria but I know I iwll get there. I'm so early on in this journey and everything is going well I just look to the next step. it's just around the corner. I know who I am and that's what's important to me.