We'll, it's all about to hit the fan... I got home from work, took a shower and got pretty... then, I found out I had to go to the store.... then, I ran into my daughters friends step mom... no problem... then had to go get gas where everybody knows me... no problem.... got home, my daughters friends dad was here... I'm sure he saw me but he left.... his other daughter saw me for the first time (she called me pretty, I don't think she knows who I am) so problem... but... my son's friend is over and was like "that is Taj".... now he is going home.... I think he and her are going to tell the neighborhood.... so.... the cat is about to be surely out of the bag..................................

I.... AM....SCARED......

Hey everyone. It's been a bit since I was on here. Tasha, sounds like you had quite a time. Glad it went well. I had quite a weekend too. I was pretty much Jenny full time!  Saturday, we had our monthly clothing swap at the local gender identity center where I got an awesome purple dress that I really like. I donated quite a few items to the cause too. We had our support group meeting and then we all went out to a local diner and stayed until around 11:30pm. I felt completely comfortable. The next day was a day I had need looking forward too. I met up with some friends from the center to go shopping. We met for lunch first at Olive Garden and had a great meal. Nobody paid any attention to us. Afterwards I went to the ladies room for the very first time. So then we went shopping. Oh did we girls have fun!  We started at a store that specialized in makeup and asked one of the makeup artists there to give us some pointers. She helped us determine good foundation shades for us and recommended many other items that we asked her opinion of. She was great. I am sure she knew we were all trans but she didn't care in the least!  Then we went to Ross which was in walking distance, even in heels. We all shopped to our hearts delight. I even felt completely comfortable browsing the bra section. I tried on several items by using the ladies fitting rooms. We went to a few more stores and by the end of the day we were tired but extremely happy. We didn't want the day to end so we all decided to go to a movie. Several firsts for me that day. Ladies restroom, trying on clothes, trying on clothes in the ladies fitting room, and going to a movie as Jenny. What a day!  I am really wishing I could go more full time. I am so happy when I am Jenny but of course had to go to work today in drab. Ugh. Tomorrow I am working from home and going to the center again tomorrow night. I have no intentions of wearing any male clothing tomorrow what so ever. I tried on all the clothes I bought tonight and was having so much fun. Before I started all this, I never liked shopping or shopping for clothes for that matter. I guess it was because I was shopping for male clothes before. So boring. I love the variety women get to wear and I am too because I am a woman, dammit!

Jenny

Beware woman, once it becomes fun it gets expensive fast!!! Lol.... I am glad you had such a great time Jenny, it really does make you feel like a million bucks right??!! So wonderful you get to experience life!!!!

Oh trust me I know. I've gotta slow down soon. More like. Billion bucks. God, I have never felt like this in my life!  Oh I know I am on a high right now and it will have its ups and downs but for now, I am just loving it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Loving your life Tasha sounds wild with clubs and all. Totally get the seeing yourself in the mirror I too see me even first thing in the morning with hair everywhere.

Hope the universe is kind to you now the cats out of the bag. The way I see it we're owed plenty of good luck.

So glad you're having so much fun as Jenny. Likewise we are long overdue it and so satisfying just to finally be yourself. That little bit of us advice all of us heard all our life but just couldn't do.

It's good to be living your own life ♡

So, the world did not explode, and one of my neighbors is now friends with the real me on facebook!!!! Yay!!!

Hi girls,
   Jenny and tasha I'm so happy to hear you've had such great experiences going out. I know for me the more i went out and didn't run into any difficulties the more comfortable I got. So I think it is really great that you are having similar experiences. Perhaps the biggest demons are in our own heads? A sort of manifestation of our own fears.

Amber that's great things are moving along for you. Hormones are big and exciting step in this whole process.

Shopping..... i had someone caution me on doing too much "shopping therapy" but it's hard when there are so many cute shoes and clothes..

I have an appointment with my psychologist tomorrow and the timing couldn't be better. With the speed bump from Endo and school... Only a week in and I'm already struggling. Partly just getting into the grooove of being a student. But also from old ghosts coming back to haunt me. When I was 19 i was in a car accident and among other thing suffered a brain injury. the brain injury is creating some barriers that I have to find a way to work around. I'm not giving up but I got some work to do now. Goodnight girls take care love ya

Keep it up Sarah! I am glad you have an appointment, I really want to get one too.... even funnier thing, my daughters other friends dad showed up looking for her last night and caught me too... he was really cool about it, and is an ally.... his words.... he had to come back after our short conversation to tell me that he won't tell anyone (though obviously he told his wife).... that is funny too, because earlier in the night, she totally saw me, made eye contact, and later asked Hannah and her friend who the beautiful woman was that was driving them around. And the only reason her friends dad knew is because I told him, he introduced himself to me, and I was just like Ummm, I know...  and spilled it. Wonderful night!!!
  We'll my phone is being an a-hole, so I'll reply to you all in a while after it charges for a bit.

That is amasing Tasha!
You have hadthe complete oposite reactions from people so far, as regards what you thought!
And Amber it was good to see you post here again! You are now counting down the days too i guess, im on the 11th!
Sarah you must push threw the okward start of college new girl thing,
Has everyone been good about the trans thing, or are people oblivious to it? Or are people in general nowadays much less likely to be dicks!
Im curious!
I will be dressed up for my apointement next month, and I get so nervous! :S

Another great experience Tasha, that's so great. It's always so nice when people surprise us and are more understanding then we ever imagined. Don't forget... at the end of the rainbow is a pot of gold.   

As for college I'm doing it online. For work I really just have to be there so they are ok with me working on my school while I'm there. I figured that way I could make my time there a little more productive then just watching tv and Netflix. I was also under the impression that I would have a little more time to do it. that, unfortunately, isn't the case. It's an 11 month program in class and online.

Christine Sadly it's more then just a "start of college new girl thing." I know from, well life, but from assessments my memory, concentration, endurance etc are below average. It's also been, I don't know, 12 - 13 years since the last time I had to do all the psychological assessments. I would be curious where I'm at now. There is so much to learn and it's all new to me so it's that much more challenging. take care girls.

Some good news once you start hormones they say that our ability to learn increases at least for a time. As with everything it will likely be a YMMV thing but every chance of a boost is great.

Could be any number of things but languages for me I just didn't get. Now I'm recalling and using bits of French and German I picked up as a kid and it's all so easy now maybe there's something to it. Could be down to my brain repairs too but I'll take it either way.

Still procrastinating must check college courses!!!!

Glad you're all here to inspire me

We'll, you seem to be an astoundingly intelligent person when you speak here Sarah, it seems to me that you will do just fine!!

Hey everyone. Just wanted to check in. Glad things are going well for you. I am really itching to be full time. I am so happy when I am Jenny but depressed when I have to revert back for work and stuff. Feeling much more comfortable out. As I mentioned on fb, I went to Target yesterday for some jeans. Walked right into the ladies fitting room like I owned it. Had dinner with my local GIC girlfriends last night. So much fun being out as Jenny. Talk to you soon. Jenny


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Great that you are getting to spend more time as Jenny but can only imagine your pain at having to change back as it is something I can't do and fortunately would never want to.

Might be a bit extreme but if it came right down to it and there was no way to get my meds I know I'd sooner take a real death as me before allowing myself to live the living death of becoming him again.

Whoooo that's kinda morbid ok moving on..... shopping!!!

Big fan of retail therapy defo need more money and more time off work to shop and play

I look forward to the day everything is done and I have no more expenses for fixing my body. Gonna feel rich and catch up for all the missed time. Shopping, meals out (modest lest I get fat), holidays, day trips, picnics, sightseeing in short everything.

Going to be soooooo good. Always nice to think about someday especially if things ever get difficult. I love to think about holidays now want to see the world and take cheesey photos at every famous place I can think of.

EuroDisney next year for first ever family holiday abroad then who knows...... maybe Thailand lol

I will get there someday. Baby steps. I want to have been on hormones before I come out at work. It is depressing having to switch back and forth. As soon as I get home, Jenny comes back. I start laser next week starting on my face. I am hoping soon I will be able to be Jenny without so much makeup. Right now, I have to put the makeup on if I go out in public since my beard shows through even if I shaved seconds ago. I have quite a bit of dark hair so am hopeful that laser will get most of it. Keep positive. Glad to hear from you. Jenny.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah step at a time the only way for all things especially body and people stuff.

The dark hair light skin combo is ideal for laser so fingers crossed.

I get how you feel Jerrica, I wouldn't want to go back either. I do however think I could if I had to, I would rather live uncomfortably than not live... too much to live for to give it up.... that being said, I am glad we don't have to give it up.... EXTREMELY glad!!!

Just popping on to say high ladies, been a busy couple of weeks... quite burned out at the moment....

To stop my hormones I believe would cause the restored neurological pathways to atrophy crippling me all over again. My recovery has been miraculous and there is no guarantee I'd ever heal a second time so defo not an option.

Sounds a bit schizo but he wasn't me. Between reduced brain development (emotional, sensory, creative, communication issues and even fine motor skills. Intellect was strangely unaffected.) due to lack of E combined with corrupted growth from T and ongoing T intoxication to the extent it would be similar to being brain damaged then drugged for life.

Best albeit lesser example would be waking up after your worst ever night on alcohol and looking at the memories seeing something that looked a bit like you being an ass and doing horrible things. Looking at it and knowing you'd never be allowed to be sober again and never even know anything was wrong after today would you take it?

Can't prove a thing of course but from my own experiences it all fits.

My family and I deserve better so have sworn to all I'll never let it happen.

In a way it actually makes things ridiculously simple for me as being me or not isn't really a choice. Everything else is just details.

It is life or death.

Love my life and my family with all my heart and soul but there are things worse than death.

As you say though it is good that we don't have to go back as I'd put up one hell of a fight as would my family (even my wife ♡) if anyone tried to do that to me.

That thought of everyone rallying round to make a last stand with me makes me feel very happy and a bit weepy

Have a fabulous Friday all!!!!

Jerrica, I am glad you are able to choose Jerrica and not death. The world would be missing a vital part of it without you in it. I am so glad I get to talk to you all. It has helped me so much. I hope I can start my long journey toward the real me soon too. I am really anxious to find out how the HRT affects me. Still have not told my family yet but feel I need to soon. I am so much more happy as Jenny and I hope she can take over soon. Have a great Friday and weekend if I don't talk to you before. Jenny makes me smile every time I see her in the mirror.

Jenny


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks Jenny but don't worry I plan to live forever. So far so good

Glad you are able to enjoy yourself and look forward to hearing about your experiences when you get your hormones. For me even I didn't know how broken I was or how much I had lost until it was all given back to me then continued to grow.

Today's mission..... swimsuit shopping.

Got a holiday in 9 days and we know I can't go swimming in shorts. Sooooo need to find something that's me and test drive going swimming a few times alone to work on my self confidence.

Got my eye on one and just hope they have it in stock.