I can't believe what a difference having legally changed my name and gender makes. It's absolutely awesome. It's great you are getting it done Jenny. I went to a suicide prevention thing the other day. it was interesting. in the broad suicide prevention view they identify being trans, gay, lesbian, etc as a risk factor. Which isn't really helpful in preventing suicide as no one commits suicide because they are trans, gay, lesbian etc. there are other factors. The reason I'm going on about this is that having ID that matches the gender that you identify as reduces the risk. Which I find interesting.
Yeah the whole job thing sucks but what can you do. I'm just scared of job hunting at this stage in my transition. Not to mention potential employers outing me to previous employers. I had sort of had an idea of how to deal with it but when I spoke to my psychologist she gave me a good idea. which was along the line of what I was thinking. It was simply tell prospective employers that if they contact certain employers they know me as this.... my previous name. which for the most part I don't see there being much issue with. I'm just scared of someone slipping up or deliberately outing me 'cause they're intolerant dicks.
It may not be an issue though as I'm considering starting my own business. Which has always been my dream. I spoke to a friend of a friend a couple weeks ago and he was thinking of starting a lawn fertilizer/weed control business in the new year and having me manage it. So my business would follow that idea but be more of a maintenance company. grass cutting and such. so The mutual friend between us was thinking of doing snow removal this year and now we are thinking of working together. So we will all tie into each other and can do some cross promotion and help eachother out and such.
I can relate to you Jerica about being the more submissive or girly one in the relationship... I've had a few people asked me what role I saw myself in and they were kind of shocked that I saw myself as the girly one. I was also talking to a friend and he was surprised that I saw myself looking after the kids while my wife worked. I love kids and I'm pretty good with them.
Finally as for the kidney stones, yes, they are brutal. I realize everyones pain tolerances and experience vary but from what I've heard they are in the same ball park as a women having kids. So this is as close as I'm going to get to knowing what it like to have a baby. haha

I've had them once before and with some medication I passed them and it wasn't really an issue. Sadly this time it is not going as well. beyond the fact that they've been kicking my butt for the last two weeks I saw a specialist the other day and there is one stuck in a place where they can really pin point with x-rays or ct scans. Which means non invasive techniques aren't an option and I may have to have surgery. I'm not crazy about surgery so we are going to give it a couple weeks to see if I pass it. However, There is a window to deal with it or it could result in permanent damage. Which means if i don't pass it in the next couple weeks I will have to go in for surgery. I'm really not looking forward to that. it's a day surgery but the last time I went in for "day surgery" I was running a bit of a fever and they were concerned about infection. So, they kept me in the hospital for 4 days.
That's about it for now I hope you all are doing good.