Whats red and sits in the corner?

A naughty fire engine.....thank you....Ill be here all weak and please try the fish......!

REALLY, REALLY, HORRIBLY BAD, TASTELESS JOKES

        Knock, knock... 
        Who's there?
        Interrupting Cow.
        Interrupting C{Moo}

A man is having sex with a woman and sees a picture on her counter and ask is that your husband, she says no. he ask is that your boyfriend she says no. He ask is that your brother she says no. He says damn who is it. She says that was me before the surgery

Tonight an ad on TV for pre-paid funeral plans.   With a 30 day money back guarantee. 

How many ferrets does it take to turn on a lamp?

None.  But it takes only one to steal it.  ( if you have a fuzzy or two, you will be on the floor  )

Insight into the Australian character, every silver lining has a cloud-

A bloke is in the pub having a beer and looking downcast. A workmate approaches, and says," what's wrong mate? You look depressed."
Sad bloke looks up and says," me Missus just ran off with me best mate! God I miss him."

Karen.

Walks into Islamic candy shop and asks for Willy Wonka Allah Auk Bar

For who can speak german

What does Osama Bin Laden said to the immigration officer in the airport when he arrived Germany?
-Ich bin Laden XDD

An Irishman walks out of a bar....

Cindy, you just made red Wine come out of my nose!!!

Karen.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Or half a cask of "Chateau de Cardboard" Lambrusco! Less that which just spilled down my front.

What did the grape say when it got trodden on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

A bus load of tourists is being entertained in a outback hotel by a bushman with a trained crocodile.  He gets it to sit up, roll over, beg, and then hits it on the head with a pool cue.

It opens it's mouth and quick as a flash he drops his trousers and places his penis in the croc's mouth. He hits it on the head and it's jaws close to within a millimetre of his member. He hits it again and it opens it's mouth and he returns his organ to his trousres.

The audience are amazed.

He asks, "does anyone here want to have a go?"
A woman  from the back calls out, "ok, but just don't  use the pool cue."

Quote from: Adele on July 03, 2011, 04:00:26 AM
Amazing. ♥

Guy meets a deaf girl, they hit it off, and after a few weeks, they move in together. Every things great,for a while, then She starts complaining about every thing . After a few weeks ,he`s had enough, so he buys a pair of handcuffs, so he can get some peace and quiet.

Quote from: Cindy James on July 03, 2011, 02:31:27 AM
An Irishman walks out of a bar....

Thats not frikin funny.

My dad has to walk out of the bar at 2 A.M. when it closes.

Bf makes nice intimate progress with his new gf.
He notices this cute tattoo of a shell up on her thigh and asks her what this is all about.

Gf: "Um honey, if you put your ear on it you'll smell the sea.

Why did the koala bear fall out a tree?

Because he was dead!

Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?

Because he was tied to the first.

Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?

Peer group pressure.