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Hey all thx for having me

Started by Valerie.Val, Yesterday at 06:18:52 AM

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Valerie.Val

Yesterday at 06:18:52 AM
Dear community,

my name is Valerie, I am middle adged, and I've only known for a couple of weeks that I'm a woman. It is incredible how I didn't see the truth earlier, because it was hidden under thick layers of shame for all my life. At first I thought I was an enby but I came to realise, I'm just a woman in a dude's body. For our marriage, for the sake of my supportive family and the life we built, I've decided to go on with the man role, kinda forever, no matter the personal cost. I came here to get in touch with people sharing a similar situation.

Anyway thanks so much for having me!
Val

ChrissyRyan

#1
Yesterday at 06:20:05 AM
Hi Valerie!



     Welcome!



Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

Valerie.Val

#2
Yesterday at 06:22:13 AM
Thx so much Chrissy. It is so lovely to be called by my new name.  🥹

Jillian-TG

#3
Yesterday at 06:32:34 AM
What you said about your transgender identity being hidden under layers of shame is something a lot of us can relate to. It's a complicated and difficult process to navigate and we all deal with it differently.

Some brave ones are able to confront it immediately much earlier in life in order to come out and live freely. I wasn't that brave or even that self aware. I was confused for a long time. So for some trans people it's a process of hiding and repressing it before eventually figuring yourself out. The good news is that it's never too late and each path is unique. Our bravery does eventually show up even if it's a little later than planned.

Stottie Girl

#4
Yesterday at 06:34:24 AM
Hiya Valerie! A big welcome from the UK.

I'm sure you will find plenty of like minded souls on here. We're a friendly bunch. I look forward to hearing more about you. Don't be frightened to join the discussions!

Sarah xx
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley

Valerie.Val

#5
Yesterday at 07:06:13 AM
Thank you so much for the warm welcome and the kind, encouraging words. 🩷

ChrissyRyan

#6
Yesterday at 07:06:51 AM
Quote from: Valerie.Val on Yesterday at 06:22:13 AMThx so much Chrissy. It is so lovely to be called by my new name.  🥹


Valerie,


I can relate to that, for sure.


Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

Valerie.Val

#7
Yesterday at 07:29:06 AM
And what lovely names you all have chosen for yourselves :-)

@Jillian-TG yes, it's true. It's definitely challenging, and a bit scary. But at the same time, the relaisation is one of the best things that have happened in my life.

So since I'm a noob, where's the best category to discuss how to navigate a planned life in stealth?

ChrissyRyan

#8
Yesterday at 07:33:15 AM
Val,

You can use the search function and type in Stealth.  You should then receive many pages of postings.  Which one is best?  I do not know.  Someone here may point out some specific ones to you though.


Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

Lori Dee ✅

#9
Yesterday at 07:39:48 AM
Quote from: Valerie.Val on Yesterday at 07:29:06 AMSo since I'm a noob, where's the best category to discuss how to navigate a planned life in stealth?

Hello Valerie,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Thank you for that wonderful introduction.

We strive to make this a safe space for you to find information and share your thoughts and comments. No matter who you are, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

You can find all sorts of information here from the real-life experiences of people from all over the world.

When you click on the HOME button, you will see a page listing all of the various sub-forums by category and topic. Each sub-forum has a description of what that forum is about, as well as any guidelines for posting.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES  PUBLIC   Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

I will add links below that are important for new and returning members.
Pay special attention to the links in RED.

If you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at LoriDee605@outlook.com.

Once again, welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee
Forum Staff

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Charlotte Kitty ✅

#10
Yesterday at 08:13:57 AM
Hey Valerie,

I'm Charlotte😻 and I too pleased to welcome you to Susan's Place!

Look forward to hearing more from you as and when you are ready and hope you find the information here useful.

Kind regards,
Charlotte😻
(Forum Staff)
Furry kitty
Lover of fashion and cute stuff!
Kawaii, Hello Kitty, Care bears 🐻
Agender/Genderqueer/Demonkin.

A complete lost cause with no desire to exist. Counting each day, each week, each month. Wishing each year would be over quicker.

🔗 [Link: tickerfactory.com]

Dances With Trees

#11
Yesterday at 09:26:25 AM
Welcome to SP, Valerie!

I've made a decision similar to yours though it's not exactly stealth. I informed everyone of my gender variance several years ago. Shortly after my announcement, my daughter and her partner moved back home and have lived with me for almost four years.

Because of my daughter's ambivalence about my gender variance, I play the role of being her 'dad' when they are home. It's not a sacrifice; it's patience. Occasionally, that patience is rewarded. A few weeks ago, my daughter referred to me as 'Anni' in an email to a mutual friend I met on SP. Such moments are priceless.

Dawn Kellie

#12
Yesterday at 11:31:21 AM
Hi Valerie
Like @Stottie Girl said we're a nice bunch. You will find friends and support here.
D. KELLIE Kn.

It's harder to love and create than hate and destroy. Love and creation takes more energy. Where hate and destruction can be done with a single word that can haunt you for a life time.

tgirlamg

#13
Yesterday at 03:24:02 PM
Valerie!

Welcome Aboard Sister!... It is amazing how deeply we can bury ourselves isn't it?...

All Good Things To You Girl!

Onward!

Ashley 💕
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻

Rochelle

#14
Yesterday at 03:33:51 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place, we're happy to see and have you here. 💚
Egg cracked 12-12-2023
Started HRT 11-12-2025

Valerie.Val

#15
Today at 01:05:42 AM
Thank you all for the kind welcome <3

@Dances With Trees - Anni, that does indeed sound like the life model I aim for. How do you manage to keep imposter syndrome and dysphoria in check? I'm struggling very hard with those at the moment.

@tgirlamg Ashley thank you so much, sister <3 Yah I'd have a hard time believe it if I weren't experiencing it. Once you start listing all the occasions when you could have known - the list starts when I was very little. But well, growing up where I did, kids and grown ups likewise were eager to teach me what was right and wrong for my assigned role by shaming and mobbing. And (worst of all) well meant advice from dad, a loving and caring man. Boys don't cry, cowboy mentality and so on. I needed to grow all up to perfect my masking well enough to fit in somewhere. I assume many here share similar experiences.
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