Help me decide if i need FFS, was read today... it was so disheartning

[Just Mandy]

Does anyone think that HRT will really change that much more?

Yes. Much more. Two YEARS for the major changes. Two months is nothing.

I hate to appear so shallow everyone, but passing is a very important thing for me. Being more attractive would be nice but
I'd settle for passing. And apparently I'm not there yet.

Everyone develops at different rates. I was nowhere near passable at only 2 months HRT. 7-9 months was when people finally began giving me the "huh?" look whenever I'd use my male name.

~Kate~

That is so cool. I guess I need to be a little patient but it is so hard not to jump off and start doing something
about the things that bother me.

I posted here last week that I did not have hips yet, LOL, things seem to sneak up on me because I was
getting out of the shower this weekend and realized the tops of my thighs had filled out and I was getting
a nice curve starting at the mid to top of my thigh YAY!  And OMG, my butt is growing rearward so fast. So I
know things are changing, I just want them done now.


Posted on: March 31, 2008, 07:54:48 AM

Yes, it took me four years going on five years but that was because of age. I got all the parts I want and people seem to not mind my, I believe, a kind enough looking face. Therefor I pay homage and kneel before the Estrogen god and bow while giving thanks for the gifts the tin gods have brought this old bird. 

Cindy

Thanks Cindy, I hope it does not take five years for me I don't think I could take it

[cindybc]

Hi Amanda just have patience and it will happen for you. You appear to me to be a good candidate for what magic estrogen can do for you. Heck I swear I feel and look much younger then before. Take a good look at Kate's photo, I mean there is a prime example of the result of estrogen. Just keep faith and maybe use Kate's pic as your personal muse to aspire to. It can be quite a surprise what the power of the mind in the mix can do as well. I miss you pretty picture. 

Cindy

[Ell]

Is there any hope for me passing?

(IMG]http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg112/always-amanda/amanda1.jpg[/img)

Jeez, you are making so much progress, girl. i think you should just chill.

Usually we overdress for the occasion. Red really stands out as well.  If you want to get noticed, wear red!  Is this what you wore?

Cindi

i think this is the first time i've ever disagreed with Cindi. but, heck, i want to stand out!

i'm so happy that my little boobs are noticeable even when i'm wearing a tight cami under my blouse.
and i know this makes me sound like a hussy (again), but i want people to notice them. 

i get "read" all the time -- much more often than not. but, as my therapist noted, i am transitioning. is that supposed to be a crime or something?

to paraphrase Kate (i think), if people don't get that i am female, then they'll get that i am transitioning. end of story.

-ellie

[Just Mandy]

Is there any hope for me passing?

(IMG]http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg112/always-amanda/amanda1.jpg[/img)

Jeez, you are making so much progress, girl. i think you should just chill.

Usually we overdress for the occasion. Red really stands out as well.  If you want to get noticed, wear red!  Is this what you wore?

Cindi

i think this is the first time i've ever disagreed with Cindi. but, heck, i want to stand out!

i'm so happy that my little boobs are noticeable even when i'm wearing a tight cami under my blouse.
and i know this makes me sound like a hussy (again), but i want people to notice them. 

i get "read" all the time -- much more often than not. but, as my therapist noted, i am transitioning. is that supposed to be a crime or something?

to paraphrase Kate (i think), if people don't get that i am female, then they'll get that i am transitioning. end of story.

-ellie

Thanks Ellie, I think I've said it before, it's like time is standing still these days And... I guess to some extent I
don't mind standing out.... and I like vivid colors

Posted on: March 31, 2008, 07:26:31 PM

Hi Amanda just have patience and it will happen for you. You appear to me to be a good candidate for what magic estrogen can do for you. Heck I swear I feel and look much younger then before. Take a good look at Kate's photo, I mean there is a prime example of the result of estrogen. Just keep faith and maybe use Kate's pic as your personal muse to aspire to. It can be quite a surprise what the power of the mind in the mix can do as well. I miss you pretty picture. 

Cindy

I know I need patience And Kate is amazing... she looks so good, it is magical.

Oh... I get so bored of the same picture up there as my avatar... it may be back or maybe another.

[Ell]

Thanks Ellie, I think I've said it before, it's like time is standing still these days And... I guess to some extent I don't mind standing out.... and I like vivid colors

You're welcome.

and, jfyi, your eyes are very pretty in your avatar.

-ellie

[Just Mandy]

Thanks Ellie, I think I've said it before, it's like time is standing still these days And... I guess to some extent I don't mind standing out.... and I like vivid colors

You're welcome.

and, jfyi, your eyes are very pretty in your avatar.

-ellie

Thank you Ell It's like every bit of hormones have gone to my eyes... now if it will just spread out and work it's
magic elsewhere I'll be one happy girl

[seldom]

You should have started hair removal the minute you knew you were transitioning.  I would start as soon as possible, it is without question a necessity.  It should have started as soon as you decided on transitioning. 
As far as two months on HRT being early well that is pretty accurate.  I have been on HRT for 9 months, and that is still early, and there has been major changes.   

As far as what you need in terms of surgery, again, talk to a surgeon.  Waiting one year into HRT is probably a good idea as far as timing the surgery. 

[Just Mandy]

You should have started hair removal the minute you knew you were transitioning.  I would start as soon as possible, it is without question a necessity.  It should have started as soon as you decided on transitioning.
As far as two months on HRT being early well that is pretty accurate.  I have been on HRT for 9 months, and that is still early, and there has been major changes.   

As far as what you need in terms of surgery, again, talk to a surgeon.  Waiting one year into HRT is probably a good idea as far as timing the surgery.

Thanks Amy....  things don't always go as planned

Amanda

[cindybc]

Hi Amanda I didn't start electro until about a couple months after I started full time, I hated it, it, I had to lay on the makeup so thick that I may as well have used a butter knife. Anyway I started electro and HRT at around the same time.  had fur on me like a grizzly bear and how that's all gone to. Just use an epilator and one day the stuff just didn't bother to grow out anymore, that was a blessing.

Cindy 

[Myanne]

AlwaysAmanda, you are already very pretty.

I agree for the nose part...Make sure to tell the doctor that you want to feminise it because I had two nose jobs...the first time it was better but still too masculine...So I had to go under the knife again.

A browridge contouring and a mini facelift can do a lot to make a face looking more feminine. (I am thinking to do my forehead soon)

Anyways, I support you in all your decision girl!!!

Warm hugs from Sweden!

Myanne

[Just Mandy]

AlwaysAmanda, you are already very pretty.

Hi Myanne,

Thank you so much! When I saw your avatar for the first time I thought to myself how feminine
and pretty you are, you are very lucky

I know how you feel about your face, but seriously, you look totally female and very pretty
now. The one thing I've learned the last few weeks is that none of us see in ourselves (me included)
what others see and that is at worst a passable woman and in a lot of cases a very attractive women.

There are exceptions of course, that see themselves as what they really are and I hope to be one of those
women someday

Amanda

[Laura Eva B]

Hi Amanda,

Please allow me a few belated observations (I've been away from these pages for so long, guess living my life ....) ....

You look really really good considering you're only 2 months down the road.  At an OK 5ft 9in / size 6 (?) your battle is half won !

What strikes me is your chin which stands out because even in the photos you can see obvious beard shadow ! 

Believe me nothing gives you away more than beard shadow, and the heavy make up that you use to try to hide it.  Until you've cleared the bulk of it whichever way you will never pass even with the most feminine face !

Also be careful with nose surgery, as your nose seems within female range, and in proportion with your long chin.  If you overdo rhinoplasty your face could end up totally out of proportion ....

Hugs,

Laura x

(Edit : seems like I missed page 2 !!!

Think Amy T was being unneccessarily harsh for someone who does not post her own photo !

FFS is not miracle surgery, nor does it make the big difference between really "passing" and being "read" .....

For FFS to work you need to be young, pretty and passable to start with. I've honestly never seen a true miracle transformation !

Which is why I'm so reluctant to mess with my own face, and risk the complications that so few are truthfull about.

Take care .... )

[April221]

It's real simple. People come in different shapes and sizes. Some women have large noses. Some women have small noses, some women have very narrow chins, some women have very wide chins, etc. You look very nice.

What has done the most for me, is make-up, properly applied. This wasn't something that I learned entirely on my own, or with the help of other girls. I sat down with a cosmetologist, who worked out the best colors, my own palette, for day, for night, and for the different seasons. Without make-up, my features are unmistakeably masculine, but properly applied make-up redefines and visually re contours my face to give it a feminine edge. The same with hair. It was a professional who chose a hair piece  that  gives me the correct look for a woman with my shape face and also my age. I'm 58 years old, and am very comfortable with the look of a 58 year old woman. I'm on one hand attractive, and on the other, I don't attract a lot of attention. People don't look at a 58 year old woman as closely as someone who is, let's say, 28 years old. They don't know what they're missing!!!

In addition to HRT, which can do a lot, the biggest change in appearance will be in the second year of electrolysis. I have not started electro. as of yet, but this is what my therapist has told me. Since I've only been on HRT for three months, I still have at least 18 months to two years before the effects of the hormones and, by then, electro, will have done enough for me to decide if I will pursue any FFS after SRS.

[Laura Eva B]

What has done the most for me, is make-up, properly applied. This wasn't something that I learned entirely on my own, or with the help of other girls. I sat down with a cosmetologist, who worked out the best colors, my own palette, for day, for night, and for the different seasons. Without make-up, my features are unmistakeably masculine, but properly applied make-up redefines and visually re contours my face to give it a feminine edge. The same with hair. It was a professional who chose a hair piece  that  gives me the correct look for a woman with my shape face and also my age. I'm 58 years old, and am very comfortable with the look of a 58 year old woman. I'm on one hand attractive, and on the other, I don't attract a lot of attention. People don't look at a 58 year old woman as closely as someone who is, let's say, 28 years old ......

Sorry April but "make-up, properly applied" just doesn't rock my boat !

I need to pass, look attractive "straight out of bed", not after tedious application of make up.  Could be a guy sleeping next to me .... and I have enough issues de-tangling my hair  !

Most days I wear no make-up other than a dab of mascara and lip gloss if I'm going out shopping .... just maybe concealer and some power if I'm recovering from a heavy night out !

Luv

Laura x

[cindybc]

Hi Laura Eva, were you here about 8 years ago when Susan had the other chat-room that was set up similarly to this message board? Also just wanted to say you certainly look stunningly beautiful. Ya I been away from the rooms for 7 years doing my thing or living life as you say. I had even forgot about this place until when I was cleaning out one of my emails and came across the link for this room. After I was retired two years ago as a Social Worker, well, it kind of got boring to say the the least, then I says to myself, self, why not come back? I do my best to give support to whom ever is in need here.  Well I do hope you can find time to drop by now and again.

Cindy

[Keira]

I agree if you really on makeup and tons of tricks to look female,
well that's not going to make your feel too good before you do all
those things and the dysphoria won't go away.

That's one of the problem, many go and get SRS quickly and
then end up having difficulty integrating as a women in society
beyond that one year (they often hide their difficulties from
the psychologist and from themselves.

If you can't afford FFS and hormones are not working too well,
that may be your only option, but I don't think that something
being a last resort would be all that satisfying unless
you know that's better than the alternative of deep depression.

[Kate]

That's one of the problem, many go and get SRS quickly and then end up having difficulty integrating as a women in society beyond that one year (they often hide their difficulties from the psychologist and from themselves.

True, although I see a lot of people have a sense of "self-acceptance" that seems to alleviate that problem somewhat for themselves, where they can "be themselves" regardless of the reactions they receive. *I* couldn't handle it, and would opt for FFS, but others seem to have different sense of self than I... and don't seem to feel a need for FFS.

On the flip side, I think I've been assuming that "self-acceptance" (or whatever you wanna call it) is for everyone, including me. But I don't think we're always talking about accepting the same thing. I actually realized... and this will sound so weird, lol... but in my trying to find the self-acceptance others talk about and say I need, I actually lost sight of who I am. It's a zen thing where looking for something is what makes it feel lost

~Kate~

[Myanne]

WOW thanks for all the links AlwaysAmanda!
I don't know what you will decide about your FFS but I would like you to keep in touch about it, if you don't mind...I am still considering it but I'd say it will be the final touch.

Thanks again and warm hugs to you

Myanne

[Just Mandy]

Thanks Laura, I agree with you about makeup, I love wearing it but I'd
like to be able to roll out of bed and pass. I've not heard anyone mention
that before or maybe it did not sink in but that's part of why I want
FFS. Maybe being on HRT will help with that but right now I
have to wear makeup to even come close to passing.

The beard shadow is bad, I've posted in other topics how I expected to
have a lot more time before HRT really started to work it's magic
and expected a lot less in the way of results. But so far I've been
very pleased with HRT (ok ecstatic) but I'm behind on hair removal and
everything else I thought I would have time for.


Myanne: lol... not sure what links I posted but your welcome .... and I'm not going anywhere, you guys are stuck
with me

Kate: I don't think I have the "sense of self-acceptance" either that will allow me to ignore others, that's just
part of my personality that won't change.


I had a really cool personal triumph this weekend. I had to buy some
new boy clothes because 6 months ago I was wearing a mens large because of
my upper body mass. I had lost about 25 pounds before starting HRT because
I knew it would be harder once I started to lose weight. When I started HRT
I was still large and a mens medium was tight, I bought a few shirts then
in hopes I could get by.  But yesterday I went shopping because I did not have a big
selection of medium size shirts and I discovered a mens small now fits just fine! I was so happy
because I've not lost much weight in the past two months but my bulk has gone down and
I had not even realized it. Anyway I was on cloud nine all day because I was really scared
I could never lose that bulk. The scale does not show it but it's really gone so I'm guessing it
must be muscle mass loss but I've not noticed any stength loss yet.

Amanda



Posted on: April 13, 2008, 11:17:49 PM

For FFS to work you need to be young, pretty and passable to start with. I've honestly never seen a true miracle transformation !

Laura, I have to ask because... well that's just the way I am. Are you saying that I should forego the FFS
because I'm older, ugly and not passable? That was the implication I got from your comment but it did not jive with the
rest of the post. I may just be reading it wrong but I value everyone's opinion and just want to understand what
you're saying.

Amanda

[buttercup]

Thanks Laura, I agree with you about makeup, I love wearing it but I'd
like to be able to roll out of bed and pass. I've not heard anyone mention
that before or maybe it did not sink in but that's part of why I want
FFS. Maybe being on HRT will help with that but right now I
have to wear makeup to even come close to passing.

The beard shadow is bad, I've posted in other topics how I expected to
have a lot more time before HRT really started to work it's magic
and expected a lot less in the way of results. But so far I've been
very pleased with HRT (ok ecstatic) but I'm behind on hair removal and
everything else I thought I would have time for.


Myanne: lol... not sure what links I posted but your welcome .... and I'm not going anywhere, you guys are stuck
with me

Kate: I don't think I have the "sense of self-acceptance" either that will allow me to ignore others, that's just
part of my personality that won't change.


I had a really cool personal triumph this weekend. I had to buy some
new boy clothes because 6 months ago I was wearing a mens large because of
my upper body mass. I had lost about 25 pounds before starting HRT because
I knew it would be harder once I started to lose weight. When I started HRT
I was still large and a mens medium was tight, I bought a few shirts then
in hopes I could get by.  But yesterday I went shopping because I did not have a big
selection of medium size shirts and I discovered a mens small now fits just fine! I was so happy
because I've not lost much weight in the past two months but my bulk has gone down and
I had not even realized it. Anyway I was on cloud nine all day because I was really scared
I could never lose that bulk. The scale does not show it but it's really gone so I'm guessing it
must be muscle mass loss but I've not noticed any stength loss yet.

Amanda

You are making great progress Amanda.  I feel the same way as you do, I am looking at going to Dr Chettawut in Thailand,(I live in Oz)  he sent me a quote.  He's not that cheap as I thought but not as dear as others.  I will have a nose job, slight shave of jaw and chin and cheek implants.  Cross fingers I will be happy with the result!