could you be satisfied if you could " pass" with make up, bangs and large sun glasses and a large floppy hat, but with out any thing you can't ,but living androgynously not a problem. could you be non dysphoric under these conditions, this is basically how I live 9 months in. I hope my face changes a lot more so I don't need the extras to "pass", but not quite sure if that's going to happen . My therapist say's I'm a lot happier person though. Just curious if satisfaction   can be attained with out totally being full time.

Satisfaction can only be determined by the individual that seeks it.

Huggs
Catherine

I doubt if I will ever truly "pass."  I am accepted and treated respectfully and with courtesy most everywhere I go.  But whether or not it is with a "wink" I don't worry about too much.  I usually dress androgynously feminine, if such a thing exists, and it seems to me that is actually the way most women dress and present.  I guess I live, work, and play as much as possible as myself without much regard to how I am read.

I think that confidence displayed => reaction received.  When I am confident and comfortable, to most people I am just another woman/customer/acquaintance/friend.  I've been doing HRT for two years, and I don't expect much more that I've got, although I'm growing my hair longer and still have some electrolysis to finish.  Perhaps when that is complete I'll be more passable, but I suspect that I will always at least raise a brow if anyone actually cares.  In that case my ID, Passport, and birth certificate all read "F".  If that isn't enough, I guess it's none of my business, and assuredly none of theirs.

LOL, I sure wandered away from your question.  I live as I feel I authentically am.  The result is as above.   I have lots of things to think about, but gender dysphoria is no longer one of them that is problematic.

Cheers,
Julie

Quote from: stephaniec on August 20, 2014, 01:53:28 PM
could you be satisfied if you could " pass" with make up, bangs and large sun glasses and a large floppy hat, but with out any thing you can't ,but living androgynously not a problem. could you be non dysphoric under these conditions, this is basically how I live 9 months in. I hope my face changes a lot more so I don't need the extras to "pass", but not quite sure if that's going to happen . My therapist say's I'm a lot happier person though. Just curious if satisfaction   can be attained with out totally being full time.

Stephanie, IMHO, seeking your own personal happiness as long as you are respectful to others, should be among your most important goals.  Then, if they respect who YOU are, then they should at least accept you.  If they reject you, then you probably won't be happy around them.  It might make you happier to seek out people who respect your femininity.

In the end, it is YOU who determines whether you are happy or not.

That said, can I myself be happy at less than full-time?  For now, yes, but I am a girl, so I want to continue this journey gradually, and enjoy the process.

So far, I haven't "come out" at the University or with any clients.  But I want to test a "coming out" with a group of 4 female clients, since I talk with them almost like "one of the girls" anyway when they are at my house.  For now, I haven't come out, and I don't feel dysphoria because of that -- because I know that as soon as I am ready, then I will make the decision to "come out" to them.

My main concern is that they will reject my being a girl, and I will lose money.  If i can conquer this worry, and be sure it doesn't hurt me economically, then I can "come out" to them...

All 3 of my bosses are female at the University, as is the HR Director -- so maybe they will be sympathetic to seeing my growing breasts, when it gets to the point where I cannot hide them any longer...



Johanna.

No. What I want is to be a feminine woman. I don't want to be androgynous nor do I want to butch there is nothing wrong with those things but it just isn't what I want for me. I still plan on getting some facial surgery even though I seem to be passing I don't want there to be any confusion on my appearance I want to look undeniably femme even with my hair back wearing boy clothes.

The answer would be "yes", at least for the time being. I am much more confident when being androgynous than trying to pass as female, and I can rock both ways and let others decide who are they dealing with, though when they gender me as female the feeling is more pleasant...

Quote from: stephaniec on August 20, 2014, 01:53:28 PM
could you be satisfied if you could " pass" with make up, bangs and large sun glasses and a large floppy hat, but with out any thing you can't ,but living androgynously not a problem.

That's definitely something I've considered in order to address the minor "dischord" I have.  I'd rather be an androgynous male who could look very feminine than be a full-time feminine female.

Different folks, different strokes I guess.

yes, when I'm in a dress and make up and get treated as for my proper gender , nothing can compare

Quote from: Kimberley Beauregard on August 20, 2014, 03:26:23 PM
That's definitely something I've considered in order to address the minor "dischord" I have.  I'd rather be an androgynous male who could look very feminine than be a full-time feminine female.

Different folks, different strokes I guess.

Have You thought about "full-time badass female - hot and totally confident in herself and everything she does? Since world is full of feminine women, this niche is kinda vacant .

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on August 20, 2014, 03:33:27 PM

Have You thought about "full-time badass female - hot and totally confident in herself and everything she does? Since world is full of feminine women, this niche is kinda vacant .

Milla Jovovich

Quote from: stephaniec on August 20, 2014, 03:44:42 PM
Milla Jovovich

I had her image in mind when posted that reply... - the one from Resident Evil and Ultraviolet

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on August 20, 2014, 03:33:27 PM

Have You thought about "full-time badass female - hot and totally confident in herself and everything she does? Since world is full of feminine women, this niche is kinda vacant .

...actually, I have.  That's something awesome to be.

Milla Jovovich is a good call.

No. I need to be a woman.

I need a wig or a hat in order to pass. That's enough for me - that I look like a woman with some effort.

I think androgyny is the majority of transwomens reality. If the universe is telling u you're not passing, presenting androgynously might make the universe a WHOLE LOT kinder to you.

Am I wrong?

Quote from: Evelyn K on August 20, 2014, 04:29:33 PM
I think androgyny is the majority of transwomens reality. If the universe is telling u you're not passing, presenting androgynously might make the universe a WHOLE LOT kinder to you.

Am I wrong?

Nope, you're spot on.   But I'm still going to be as feminine as I can manage.  I like it like that and the universe is still pretty kind.

j

The thing is Julie, androgyny can be attractive in its own way. You can be androgynous and still be more attractive than a 100% passing woman.

Have to play up your best features.

That's what I'm currently doing. Being a former PUA (pickup artist + studied body language extensively) I can scan and read people like a book - I never get the stink eye or receive a negative vibe presenting androgynously.

No.  And that's the reason I went full time.  I initially thought of myself as nonbinary, but it turned out that I was quite binary when I was completely honest with myself and needed to go all-in to be truly happy.

Quote from: Hikari on August 20, 2014, 02:55:13 PM
No. What I want is to be a feminine woman. I don't want to be androgynous nor do I want to butch there is nothing wrong with those things but it just isn't what I want for me. I still plan on getting some facial surgery even though I seem to be passing I don't want there to be any confusion on my appearance I want to look undeniably femme even with my hair back wearing boy clothes.

To answer the question: Absolutely not! I'm here^^___^^ where Hikari is with this. I'm a girl, I always have been a girl, a somewhat girly girl, and I have a need to be seen as a girl by all who I encounter. I too plan on having some FFS after my SRS and other surgeries even though I pass easily with or with out makeup, my hair up or down no matter what I wear and don't seem to need it.

This is just how I feel regarding myself for there's nothing wrong with being happy presenting as Andro. It's just not me that's all.

Ali

For myself?  No, gotta be fulltime, even if I'm easily read as being trans. I still get by and I work with the public and most everyone knows me, but at least they like and respect me, so they gender me correctly even when they do know.

Quote from: Evelyn K on August 20, 2014, 04:48:19 PM
The thing is Julie, androgyny can be attractive in its own way. You can be androgynous and still be more attractive than a 100% passing woman.

Have to play up your best features.

That's what I'm currently doing. Being a former PUA (pickup artist + studied body language extensively) I can scan and read people like a book - I never get the stink eye or receive a negative vibe presenting androgynously.

I think androgyny is very awesome and sexy, but it just wasn't "me".  I admire those who like to blur the lines.