I keep getting Goblin's Song stuck in my head. I also have ideas for both an ongoing and a new story. Too bad I'll probably never get around to writing either of them.
Repaired Title
Quote from: Edge on May 06, 2014, 04:39:13 PM
I keep getting Goblin's Song stuck in my head. I also have ideas for both an ongoing and a new story. Too bad I'll probably never get around to writing either of them.
Same here, I've had two for a while but I'm just not a novel writing kind of person. It's always super cool to hear about other people's imaginative inner universes, though. Much more interesting than talking about the weather for sure
today, i am thinking about dark chocolate covered strawberries and a nice hot bath ;D
I am helping my brother with his project...he has to make a soundtrack to Wuthering Heights. I'm giving him songs that are so appropriate but yeah, he's probably going to not want to show this to his friends lest he reveal a tender heart.
Quote from: birkin on May 06, 2014, 08:10:30 PM
I am helping my brother with his project...he has to make a soundtrack to Wuthering Heights. I'm giving him songs that are so appropriate but yeah, he's probably going to not want to show this to his friends lest he reveal a tender heart.
Kate Bush?
I've never heard anything of Kate Bush. Although I've heard good things about her. Do any songs come to mind for you?
Kate Bush has some pretty cool tunes 8)
I forgot how much fun graphics programming was.
Today I hacked together a complete shader (parallax, damage mapping, specular mapping, normals, glow mapping, cube map reflections) - now it's time to do fun stuff with it :D
Wait. I'm confused. Is this the first page of a new "what are you thinking?" Cooooooooooool
seems like it. geez, i'm craving strawberries dipped in dark chocolate and i want a nice hot bath -.- blah. i'm thinking i should do my homework before i fail my course xD
Quote from: birkin on May 06, 2014, 08:58:31 PM
Hahaha I am going to use Britney Spears.
I'm not a giiiiiiirl.....NOT YET A WOOOOOOOMAN.
And that's when they all thought my brother was gay.
Lmao.
PS I love that song, when I "took my clothes out of the closet" My best freind heard that and dedicated it to me.
Quote from: birkin on May 06, 2014, 08:58:31 PM
Hahaha I am going to use Britney Spears.
I'm not a giiiiiiirl.....NOT YET A WOOOOOOOMAN.
And that's when they all thought my brother was gay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGtXlBbWeB4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGtXlBbWeB4)
I want ww new 52 costume
Quote from: Edge on May 06, 2014, 10:55:03 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGtXlBbWeB4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGtXlBbWeB4)
LOL. I love the metal covers of pop songs. Some of them are surprisingly not bad.
Quote from: ButterflyVickster on May 06, 2014, 10:32:23 PM
Lmao.
PS I love that song, when I "took my clothes out of the closet" My best freind heard that and dedicated it to me.
I like it too. Obviously can't relate to it, but it's nice, and I think a lot of girls and women can relate to that.
I'm surprised that my temper hasn't flared in such a long time. I'm worried that if and when it does next time, I will really go overboard and sort of make up for lost time. In the meantime, it is great!
Quote from: birkin on May 06, 2014, 08:10:30 PM
I am helping my brother with his project...he has to make a soundtrack to Wuthering Heights. I'm giving him songs that are so appropriate but yeah, he's probably going to not want to show this to his friends lest he reveal a tender heart.
Quote from: birkin on May 06, 2014, 08:13:40 PM
I've never heard anything of Kate Bush. Although I've heard good things about her. Do any songs come to mind for you?
Kate Bush, Wuthering Heights (red dress version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW3gKKiTvjs
---------------------
And just because you've never heard her before, you need to watch Running Up That Hill video.
I swear it's about being trans* and the male dancer has my dream body. :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp43OdtAAkM
Pretty nice music! :) I'm going to check out more of her songs too.
I like to have a smoothie in the morning because my stomach hates solids when I wake up...well, we ran out of oatmeal to put in it so I just doubled up on the flax seeds. 1/4 cup. I feel so sick now. Well, more crampy. But ugh.
i'm thinking about a flower garden :o
What it would be like to get into a bar fight and have a pool stick broken across my head.
Quote from: Malachite on May 07, 2014, 10:18:24 PM
What it would be like to get into a bar fight and have a pool stick broken across my head.
what is with you men and bar fights xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 07, 2014, 10:24:32 PM
what is with you men and bar fights xD
They look kind of fun, lol....
Quote from: Malachite on May 07, 2014, 10:27:44 PM
They look kind of fun, lol....
hahaha! they are dangerous! xD
I've had to quell a few bar fights during pre-transition days and have been hit over the head with a cue stick, I didn't like it and the the stick didn't break, but the guy ran like hell :o
Oh fond memories... :P
I like fights. Unfortunately, when I used to hang out with guys who did fight on a regular basis, they refused to fight with me because they thought I was a woman.
Next fall, if everything works out, I'm going to be taking five courses on top of being a single parent who still needs to maintain the apartment and run errands. *steels self*
Haha, i've fought in school, now i'd need my frying pan to beat someone upside the head but i really just stay out xD lets love not hate xD
Christopher Tin's new album is out. Sadly my workplace computer has horrible sound quality so I need to find a way to listen to it properly.
Quote from: V M on May 07, 2014, 10:51:32 PM
I've had to quell a few bar fights during pre-transition days and have been hit over the head with a cue stick, I didn't like it and the the stick didn't break, but the guy ran like hell :o
Oh fond memories... :P
Awesome!!!!
Quote from: Malachite on May 08, 2014, 08:29:46 AM
Awesome!!!!
Quote from: Edge on May 07, 2014, 10:56:22 PM
I like fights. Unfortunately, when I used to hang out with guys who did fight on a regular basis, they refused to fight with me because they thought I was a woman.
Ugh, how condenscending....
all i know is i'm thinking is you men are violent xD but i guess it cant be helped xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 08, 2014, 11:48:38 AM
all i know is i'm thinking is you men are violent xD but i guess it cant be helped xD
For the record, I've been violent for most of my life for reasons that most likely have nothing to do with being a man.
I haven't had the urge to punch a guy in the face since I went on the full dose of HRT. The crazy thing is that I did that at the House of Blues just before I got my meds upped. Rat bastard had it coming. He messed with the wrong chick!
Quote from: Jill F on May 08, 2014, 02:46:06 PM
I haven't had the urge to punch a guy in the face since I went on the full dose of HRT. The crazy thing is that I did that at the House of Blues just before I got my meds upped. Rat bastard had it coming. He messed with the wrong chick!
I would blame t for men being so outright violent and women tend to be very sneaky when trying to hurt some.
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 08, 2014, 02:51:41 PM
I would blame t for men being so outright violent and women tend to be very sneaky when trying to hurt some.
As I've said, I've been outright violent for most of my life. That includes pre-puberty, puberty with female hormones, and testosterone, so it's pretty regardless of hormones at all.
However, I'm just one person and can't speak for anyone else.
I guess it is all different. T hasn't made me violent....I don't know if I could have ever called myself violent, per se. I definitely was extremely angry before I started hormones and I was more in favour of excessively punitive actions against people who had done something I thought was wrong. Now for the most part it takes a lot to make me angry and if people want to do dumb things I don't care, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.
Whoopi-effin-doo, Finland is in the Eurovision finals... Apparently mediocre and generic s*it is the way to go. >_> I'm almost ashamed to admit that band is from my home city.
F that, I'm still basking in the glory that is the Eurovision 2006.
HARD ROCK HALLELUJAH.
Quote from: Tossu-sama on May 08, 2014, 04:27:19 PM
Whoopi-effin-doo, Finland is in the Eurovision finals... Apparently mediocre and generic s*it is the way to go. >_> I'm almost ashamed to admit that band is from my home city.
F that, I'm still basking in the glory that is the Eurovision 2006.
HARD ROCK HALLELUJAH.
:o I forgot about Eurovision this year. Lol. I remember Lordi. If they hadn't have won, I'd have been disappointed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6Xl9tBWt54
^ The moment I heard Finland would be represented by them I said we'd win. Of course at first it was just a joke but boy did I feel good when Lordi actually won. Perfect moment for "what did I say?" :D
But yeah, when Finland actually wins Eurovision we like to break some records in the process.
...And now we get pity points from Sweden, what went wrong?
Lol! I don't know why I enjoy Eurovision as much as I do. It's such a guilty pleasure.
I'm writing a resume and cover letter for a job that I REALLY want. I mean REALLY want. I want to puke as I'm doing this, I don't want to screw this up, I want the job so badly!
Mmmmm! Spinach, cremini mushroom, sliced almonds, dried cranberries and smoked scottish salmon with a blush wine vinaigrette and a hard cider to wash it down!
Oh, and three ounces of Danish potato vodka waiting in the freezer for afters.
i'm thinking of what yugioh deck i should use. either my underworld deck or refix my dark world deck o.o
I'm thinking about buying a cute little smart car in the future ;D.
I need a really good novel
Quote from: Malachite on May 07, 2014, 10:18:24 PM
What it would be like to get into a bar fight and have a pool stick broken across my head.
I've had a water gun broken over my head. Does that count? heh.
I think I want Mexican food tonight. Why do I always fiend for refried beans when I'm toward the end of my progesterone cycle? Is there some nutrient in them that gets depleted during the cycle?
Ohh beans, I love you. Get in mah belly!
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 08, 2014, 08:40:21 PM
i think i wanna go smash a car door in, break a window and bite the first person who looks at me face off. my darn game isnt working and its making me highly upset
I'm thinking about Rule 5 of the Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Quote5. The posting of messages on the chat or forums which are of a threatening tone; intended solely to communicate sarcasm, contempt, or derision; are intended to belittle or ridicule a person or group; to disgust the viewer; contain obscene or pornographic materials; which are intended to titillate; or which depicts illegal acts; will not be permitted.
Let's try to post responsibly friends
Thank you
V M
Quote from: V M on May 08, 2014, 10:31:11 PM
I'm thinking about Rule 5 of the Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Let's try to post responsibly friends
Thank you
V M
oh darn. thnx for that warning
I'm thinking that I'm not going to care about retirement or stuff like that. I don't plan on living to old age.
Quote from: Malachite on May 08, 2014, 10:38:44 PM
I'm thinking that I'm not going to care about retirement or stuff like that. I don't plan on living to old age.
:o what happened :o
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 08, 2014, 10:39:23 PM
:o what happened :o
nothing at all-I just don't see myself being old
Quote from: Malachite on May 08, 2014, 10:42:44 PM
nothing at all-I just don't see myself being old
well i'm thinking you should just cheer up and have fun in the now. you might never know how long you have until its gone so live everyday like its your last (hypocrite alert on umiko) but its true lol
None of us sees themselves as growing old, but it happens anyway.
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 08, 2014, 10:51:23 PM
well i'm thinking you should just cheer up and have fun in the now. you might never know how long you have until its gone so live everyday like its your last (hypocrite alert on umiko) but its true lol
If I truly did that, then I'd just probably sleep before I'd go, lol
Quote from: Dee Marshall on May 08, 2014, 10:51:58 PM
None of us sees themselves as growing old, but it happens anyway.
To some perhaps
Quote from: Malachite on May 08, 2014, 11:07:30 PM
If I truly did that, then I'd just probably sleep before I'd go, lol
To some perhaps
i'm thinking malachite is being difficult ;D
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 08, 2014, 11:13:21 PM
i'm thinking malachite is being difficult ;D
I'm a pretty difficult person. :D
Quote from: Malachite on May 08, 2014, 11:38:36 PM
I'm a pretty difficult person. :D
xD well stop being so gosh darn difficult xD thats suppose to be my job :D
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 08, 2014, 11:40:01 PM
xD well stop being so gosh darn difficult xD thats suppose to be my job :D
You can still be difficult too. :P
Quote from: Malachite on May 08, 2014, 11:46:58 PM
You can still be difficult too. :P
nu :3 its my job xD 2 difficult people makes someone else life twice as difficult xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 08, 2014, 11:51:05 PM
nu :3 its my job xD 2 difficult people makes someone else life twice as difficult xD
and then they become difficult to others and the cycle continues....it spreads ;)
Quote from: Malachite on May 09, 2014, 12:02:02 AM
and then they become difficult to others and the cycle continues....it spreads ;)
yes than after one person who we gave a difficult time gives another a difficult time, we go around a very difficult circle until this world decides we are to difficult and gives the sun a difficult time who than gives the universe a difficult time xD thus difficult itself becomes one confusing circle xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 09, 2014, 12:06:20 AM
yes than after one person who we gave a difficult time gives another a difficult time, we go around a very difficult circle until this world decides we are to difficult and gives the sun a difficult time who than gives the universe a difficult time xD thus difficult itself becomes one confusing circle xD
Now your talking. ;D
Quote from: Malachite on May 09, 2014, 12:09:46 AM
Now your talking. ;D
malachite, i'm thinking your hilariously insane xD ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 09, 2014, 12:11:29 AM
malachite, i'm thinking your hilariously insane xD ;D ;D ;D
Welp, you got one part right at least. o.o
Quote from: Malachite on May 09, 2014, 12:19:14 AM
Welp, you got one part right at least. o.o
HAHAHA! your to awesome my friend xD had me rolling for the past hour xD
I wonder why sane people think it's cool to be insane.
It's only the beginningish of May and it's already getting too hot for me.
Quote from: Edge on May 09, 2014, 12:22:30 AM
I wonder why sane people think it's cool to be insane.
It's only the beginningish of May and it's already getting too hot for me.
edge, you are my crazy friend to and i rather insane people than sane. they keep things interesting xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 09, 2014, 12:38:18 AM
edge, you are my crazy friend to and i rather insane people than sane. they keep things interesting xD
Depends on the people.
I wish more people had that opinion. Instead, I keep meeting people who claim to like weird and insane people and then get all hostile when they find out I'm actually not kidding. I was just reminded of it. A friend of a friend was joking about it today and it kinda gets on my nerves.
Quote from: Edge on May 09, 2014, 12:43:59 AM
Depends on the people.
I wish more people had that opinion. Instead, I keep meeting people who claim to like weird and insane people and then get all hostile when they find out I'm actually not kidding. I was just reminded of it. A friend of a friend was joking about it today and it kinda gets on my nerves.
people are just to closed minded. i find it that more expressive and out there people are better company cuz they dont get boring even though they can be trouble lol
Mentally ill people aren't necessarily more expressive and out there. One of my friends has depression and anxiety and keeps to himself more than most people. Mind you, I still fancy him, so maybe you have a point. :P
Personally, I like my madness and can like other's madness up until the point they are a threat to me. I'd also rather my friend felt better, but I must admit, the idea of watching him get through it and come out stronger makes me excited. (Not a euphemism. Probably.)
Quote from: Edge on May 09, 2014, 12:56:29 AM
Mentally ill people aren't necessarily more expressive and out there. One of my friends has depression and anxiety and keeps to himself more than most people. Mind you, I still fancy him, so maybe you have a point. :P
Personally, I like my madness and can like other's madness up until the point they are a threat to me. I'd also rather my friend felt better, but I must admit, the idea of watching him get through it and come out stronger makes me excited. (Not a euphemism. Probably.)
again i say, edge, you are one crazy dude xD keep up the good work xD
Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to become insane. Mom likes to quote that, of course in Finnish, though. Apparently it's a line from the movie Girl, Interrupted but I'm almost certain that's not how it's said in it. Never got around to check how it really goes.
I can't sleep because I'm thinking too much about how lame I was when I tried too hard to be a guy. Poseur much? Never again.
I am completely sane >:-)
Nothing like waking up at 2:20 am and not falling back asleep. -_- I wish everything could just feel OK again, that I didn't have these anxieites overwhelming my head and making it hard to get a decent night's sleep.
The good news is, these problems will mostly resolve when I finally get a job call me back. The only problems I will have after that are GD-related. I hope. -_-
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 09, 2014, 12:06:20 AM
yes than after one person who we gave a difficult time gives another a difficult time, we go around a very difficult circle...
Welcome to my job.
Last night was fun. We went to one of our usual Mexican restaurants and the bartender asked me if my wife and I were coworkers. After I said "no", she asked if we were sisters. Maybe I'll tell her next time? Or maybe not... Then we stopped at 7-11 where there were two other gender variant people, including a really cute cop who was clearly FTM spectrum. Probably not on T yet, but packing nonetheless.
I know a cute FtM guy who wants to be a cop.
I've been busy the past couple days and will be busy for the next few days. Some of it is productive and even the stuff that isn't necessarily productive feels productive. It's a good feeling. I wonder when I'm going to wear myself out though.
Believe it or not, I'm technically an introvert. The actual definition I mean where one recharges alone and is inner directed. However, my introverted friends keep posting things about introverts almost always not wanting to socialize and always being quiet and I think if I told them I'm also an introvert they wouldn't believe me because I act like how the things they post say extroverts are supposed to act.
I'm thinking that Cheryl better get here soon so I can go to the bank.
Is it wrong that i like talking about my boobs?
Quote from: Emo on May 09, 2014, 01:41:33 PM
Is it wrong that i like talking about my boobs?
Hahaha, no, the wrong thing here is me having to spend tonight and all day tomorrow with my sister and her female friends. Seriously, i might end up in cardiac arrest again. Get me off this crazy dysphoric driving rollar coaster :'(
I thought hanging out with girls would be less dysphoric...
Quote from: Emo on May 09, 2014, 04:48:39 PM
I thought hanging out with girls would be less dysphoric...
Yea but right now its kick in the face. Normally i wouldnt mind up but i had a bad episode a few hours ago and this is a kick in the behind. Plus they dont know so i'm in stealth mode and its driving me up a skyscraper. Plus i have to wait another week for my therapy session ._.
I'm thinking my sneeze became even more cutsy and feminized xD
thinking about first aid course
New York steak, filet mignon or porterhouse?
Eating vegetarian too many meals in a row during my P cycle makes me really want steakage tonight.
Just say moo?
moOOoOoOooOoOOoooOoo
I always craved steak when I was on my P cycle.
no P cycle but now I crave steak. It's all Jill's fault
I'm miserable. And due to logistics, I can't even talk to anybody about it.
Quote from: MacG on May 09, 2014, 06:58:56 PM
I'm miserable. And due to logistics, I can't even talk to anybody about it.
hang in there
I'm thinking that I like voting by mail. Instead of waiting in line, I just send mine in now.
It's pretty ridiculous now that my legal name is still male and voting in person has now become problematic. I apparently hit male fail some time ago and don't want the hassle of explaining myself to people who look like they retired during the Reagan administration. Hell, my ID doesn't even work for me anymore and now I have to show one from when I was 23 and clean-shaven with long hair. I always thought I looked very female in that pic.
My court date can't come soon enough, and it's still over 2 months away. I can't wait to wipe my old name off of everything.
I like to vote by mental telepathy :D
Quote from: V M on May 09, 2014, 09:18:39 PM
I like to vote by mental telepathy :D
Is that one of the less common HRT side effects? *levitates*
The virtue of playing leftovers roulette is that if you combine enough of them and get sick, you don't know what to blame
Warning: vainness ahead.
I wonder if I just happen to look fat in pictures, if wearing baggy clothes in a (failing) effort to hide my shape makes me look fat, or if I actually am fat. Whatever the reason, I should exercise more and eat healthier.
There's an injured bear in our city center and it's hanging around a big shopping center there. And apparently half of the people are out there looking for it just so they can catch a glimpse of it. Oh lawd...
I just didn't think there'd be that many bears around here, if any at all. And it's kinda weird how that one even ended up where it is. There really isn't that much forest around there, mostly just fields.
Ah well, it's not that close to us anyway.
Quote from: christopher on May 09, 2014, 06:35:03 PM
moOOoOoOooOoOOoooOoo
I always craved steak when I was on my P cycle.
no P cycle but now I crave steak. It's all Jill's fault
JUST HAD STEAK LAST NIGHT! xD
I am so over Buzzfeed. =/ They've gotten really annoying.
Few things say comfort food like buttery microwave popcorn
oh dear, I've forgotten what I was thinking ::)
i'm thinking i might need 3 gallons of rocky road ice cream just to drown out my misery on mother's day :'(
I'm glad to be home from work. My feet hurt.
I'm wondering if I should resign after I get top surgery (which I'll probably be able to afford it in about a year and a half with this job) even if I don't have another job lined up yet. Maybe just use the pay to help pay for my T. What I'm hoping is either I can get a job at our hospital or at Sears as a backroom associate because from what I know, the actually have insurance that would cover some transgender surgeries. Plus, I feel that job would be a better fit for me. Nevertheless I'm just happy to be working. Once I figure out the budget, my top surgery fund should move a little faster. I'm also wondering if I should save the fund all at one time or raise the majority of it it and then pay the last little bit after my date has been booked. Hmmm, decisions, decisions.... Well, I have a long time until I have to decide.
I am thinking maybe it's time to start writing again.
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 10, 2014, 10:37:56 PM
i'm thinking i might need 3 gallons of rocky road ice cream just to drown out my misery on mother's day :'(
Aww, I'm sorry it's going to be so hard on you
Quote from: christopher on May 10, 2014, 10:49:20 PM
I am thinking maybe it's time to start writing again.
Aww, I'm sorry it's going to be so hard on you
to top it off, imma be home alone tomorrow to -.- i'm thinking i need to just stay away from home tomorrow
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 10, 2014, 10:51:44 PM
to top it off, imma be home alone tomorrow to -.- i'm thinking i need to just stay away from home tomorrow
Do you wanna skype?
I'm wondering if I might be getting a little too confident/comfortable. I wonder if it's ok for me to gleefully point out that a guy is hot. Come to think of it, I can't figure out why not. I just get the impression it's generally frowned upon.
Gotta buy more shresses to wear
I should really go to bed.
Quote from: Edge on May 10, 2014, 11:31:49 PM
Do you wanna skype?
I'm wondering if I might be getting a little too confident/comfortable. I wonder if it's ok for me to gleefully point out that a guy is hot. Come to think of it, I can't figure out why not. I just get the impression it's generally frowned upon.
well i dont mind, its just i'm highly socially awkward and i'm actually not home right now
I will be working on mother's day. this is a good thing. it will keep the monsters at bay.
g'night all.
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 10, 2014, 11:54:53 PM
well i dont mind, its just i'm highly socially awkward and i'm actually not home right now
I meant tomorrow, but that's ok.
I sent in the cover letter and resume that I spent...in total....3 hours working on to make it perfect. Did I mention that I really want this job?
I also want to throw up because even though I read the cover letter and resume a million times looking for errors, I'm afraid it's still there.
Quote from: birkin on May 11, 2014, 01:49:31 AM
I also want to throw up because even though I read the cover letter and resume a million times looking for errors, I'm afraid it's still there.
If you did worked on it, then I'm sure it's a master piece! Good luck!
Quote from: birkin on May 11, 2014, 01:43:46 AM
I sent in the cover letter and resume that I spent...in total....3 hours working on to make it perfect. Did I mention that I really want this job?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DcUeaSA4oo
good luck birkin ! ;)
I have an elevenish year old cat who does not like change, and I think his noisy opinions right now are probably about how I'm not in bed yet. He likes to climb up on my chest and breath in my face until one of us falls asleep. I'm thinking the internet is correct in both its high esteem of cats and in the general consensus that cats are strange animals.
It seems like I've been promoted to chief spider catcher in my house.. Seeing as my housemate just screamed the house down till I went to rescue her
Quote from: birkin on May 11, 2014, 01:43:46 AM
I sent in the cover letter and resume that I spent...in total....3 hours working on to make it perfect. Did I mention that I really want this job?
Good luck. Let us know how it goes?
I will. Thanks everyone!
So a Canadian judge ruled it unconstitutional to make us wait until we have had surgery to change our birth certificate to the correct gender. I was going to have surgery anyway, but I will be able to get it changed sooner. That makes me happy.
i'm thinking i just had my heart ripped out of my chest. i was fine for the first part of the day than bam, this sharp pain just hit me and than my chest felt empty, cold. i even lost my ability to feel anything. i just went completely numb :icon_neutral:
Apparently, accepting feelings makes them stronger. Huh.
Quote from: Edge on May 11, 2014, 04:56:52 PM
Apparently, accepting feelings makes them stronger. Huh.
agreed. but they also can become the aklie's heel
maybe i should ?
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 11, 2014, 05:01:22 PM
agreed. but they also can become the aklie's heel
Achilles* Sorry.
They were a weakness to begin with. I've just been more accepting since they're disguising themselves as joy again for the moment and because I already know that, no matter how much I may care for someone, I will still be merciless if they cause me problems.
Quote from: @Diana on May 11, 2014, 05:04:44 PM
maybe i should ?
Do it. What is it you are considering doing?
oh it's too naughty to say it out loud guy & girl LOL :-X
hahaha
Quote from: @Diana on May 11, 2014, 05:55:30 PM
oh it's too naughty to say it out loud guy & girl LOL :-X
hahaha
xD haha! dont kiss and tell so sshhh xD
I was sitting here and I realized: "Oh crap! I haven't taken my Estrace or my Xanax today!" I was sitting here and I started to feel really....weird. That was when I figured out what was going on.
i'm thinking of a nap
I have finally decided what "look" I want for myself. When I am able to I want to grow out my beard, just enough to have coverage, and then have my hair slightly shaggy. Sort of like that Steve dude on YouTube but more cleaned up. I would be happy if I saw that in the mirror.
Now to do that, my moustache has to fill in a little more, and my beard needs to rise higher on my cheeks.
i'm thinking i need a seriously shower o: why make a girl mow the yard :'(
I wonder if I should go to the doctor? bleh.
i have ocean superpowers xD
Quote from: birkin on May 12, 2014, 03:20:56 PM
I have finally decided what "look" I want for myself. When I am able to I want to grow out my beard, just enough to have coverage, and then have my hair slightly shaggy. Sort of like that Steve dude on YouTube but more cleaned up. I would be happy if I saw that in the mirror.
Now to do that, my moustache has to fill in a little more, and my beard needs to rise higher on my cheeks.
Thinking I should google "that Steve dude on Youtube."
Also lol considering my male relatives, starting to wonder if I'll ever be capable of a mustache. My 40ish half-brother can't get more than a few long red hairs on his chin, and my full-blooded dad can manage a thin white mustache and goatee now that he's probably in his 60s, but I never saw him try that or anything else when he was young so idk. I can get a small dark brown/black patch on my chin, like the skinny stoner guy on Scooby Doo, and a little bit of neckbeard, and just enough wisps in the sideburn area to look silly if I don't shave.
I'm thinking about figuring out how to hook up a modern video game system to a computer monitor so I could play console games with controllers. I'm sure there's a way to do it. I'm willing to buy a console, but not willing to own a television.
Here you go Felix, lol:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ogJtX-Z7Xs&list=PLPx8ewOZjypTjEfYJ9CkLJc4GfInbtA6Y
i'm thinking i have super soft hair and skin even though i'm still pre xD
maybe I'll lock the pup in the kennel tonight. hmmm
Nice being able to sit in the sun and eat lunch in a grassy park in Sydney city before heading off to three hours of face zapping fun (aka electrolysis)... :)
I need to do a 45 minute workout, but I may just to a T-25 because it's so hot and over exerttng myself may not be a wise idea.
Quote from: birkin on May 12, 2014, 03:20:56 PM
I have finally decided what "look" I want for myself. When I am able to I want to grow out my beard, just enough to have coverage, and then have my hair slightly shaggy. Sort of like that Steve dude on YouTube but more cleaned up. I would be happy if I saw that in the mirror.
Now to do that, my moustache has to fill in a little more, and my beard needs to rise higher on my cheeks.
It's a good feeling isn't it? I figured out a little while ago what look I want and it was such a relief because it was like I could finally see myself in the real world. (Sorry if that doesn't make sense.)
Thoughts I should probably write a longer post about.
No, it totally makes sense. Part of the thing for me is, I knew I wanted a male body but not what kind of male I wanted to look like. So to have an idea, and actually be able to achieve that (since I have facial hair coming in) feels nice. I am worried the longer hair will hinder my passing as long as I can't grow the stache yet and I want to avoid neckbeard without any accompanying stache.
I'm worried about that too, but the wish to have that look is stronger than the risk of not passing. Especially since that look is within my grasp.
I found 11 cents last week. I'm debating if I should add it to my top surgery fund or add it back to my regular money to help buffer out the bus fare (50 cents so it would be like I only paid .39 cents for bus fare that day). Something tells me I would get more enjoyment out of it if I put it in my top surgery fund though.
Lol birkin that video.
If it weren't for my current age issues with passing, I would prefer to look young and mostly hairless, and either without visible muscles or with very wiry swimmer's muscles.
I'm thinking about emotions and stuff, and who is allowed to have them and when.
I just want to be unconscious
life is so hard
how do you guys do it ;-;
Quote from: Felix on May 13, 2014, 03:22:12 AM
If it weren't for my current age issues with passing, I would prefer to look young and mostly hairless, and either without visible muscles or with very wiry swimmer's muscles.
Might just be your picture, but you look young to me. Then again, most people do.
I'd like some more hair. Hairlessness is in my genetics though. Oh well.
Quote from: Felix on May 13, 2014, 03:22:12 AMI'm thinking about emotions and stuff, and who is allowed to have them and when.
Now I'm curious. I am thinking of similar things.
Quote from: sad panda on May 13, 2014, 04:20:07 AM
I just want to be unconscious
life is so hard
how do you guys do it ;-;
Strength of will and adaptability.
Ohh my godd these new neighbors working in like...alcohol distribution or whatever, is like a total blessing and curse deal hahah. On one hand we have consistently had a ton of different types of free booze cause they send over the surplus, daily, for the last 6 months...on the other I am now starting to abuse that hahah. But F it, I like being drunk (usually)
i'm thinking i should start practicing black magic again. time for me to get back into my curses, hexes and just cause utter bad luck but dont worry, they arent that dangerous >:-)
I have a fridge and cooler full of beer leftover from my party and there's nobody to drink it up.
No beer for me until vacation, and then nothing to drink again until August.
Who wants some free beer?
Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 04:29:22 PM
I have a fridge and cooler full of beer leftover from my party and there's nobody to drink it up.
No beer for me until vacation, and then nothing to drink again until August.
Who wants some free beer?
Omg, so weird, we both have booze on the brain today :P
Uh, me too! *gets booze* lol
Quote from: sad panda on May 13, 2014, 04:39:14 PM
Uh, me too! *gets booze* lol
i've never like booze o.o maybe is should though. i have nothing better to do ;D
I'm thinking about how I'd look and dress if I went through an andro phase.
I also don't get fun from booze any more, my body almost completely rejects it. I still drink socially, but work nights out are short.
I still keep a bottle of good scotch handy.
Quote from: sad panda on May 13, 2014, 04:39:14 PM
Uh, me too! *gets booze* lol
Bahah, I'm way ahead of you *sips free Pina Colada* mwahah
Quote from: Kimberley Beauregard on May 13, 2014, 04:43:53 PM
I'm thinking about how I'd look and dress if I went through an andro phase.
I also don't get fun from booze any more, my body almost completely rejects it. I still drink socially, but work nights out are short.
I still keep a bottle of good scotch handy.
hahaha! molt whiskey! xD
On a side note, I've noticed my problems seem to basically disappear when I get the right level of tipsy...and seem waay worse when I get slobbering drunk. So it's a balance, I guess lool
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 13, 2014, 04:47:28 PM
On a side note, I've noticed my problems seem to basically disappear when I get the right level of tipsy...and seem waay worse when I get slobbering drunk. So it's a balance, I guess lool
everything is better when your either drunk or high :laugh:
... I've been listening to Korpiklaani.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7kJRGPgvRQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7kJRGPgvRQ)
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 04:48:35 PM
everything is better when your either drunk or high :laugh:
I never get high. Except pot, if somebody offers me pot I'll smoke it...which happens a lot, it seems like everybody smokes pot. But on the rare occasion someone offers me a little more, like dope or whatever...which is pretty rare but haas happened I always say no. Even tho I'm sorely tempted to try it tbh.
The lesson isss...say no to drugs kids! And yeahh when I get too drunk tho things get baad...so everythings better when youre a liittle drunk..like I am now! Soo yay!
Quote from: Kimberley Beauregard on May 13, 2014, 04:51:37 PM
Single malts are awesome.
i know! but i have a very high alcohol tolerance they are like non alcoholic beer to my system even though they have a pretty high content
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 13, 2014, 04:47:28 PM
On a side note, I've noticed my problems seem to basically disappear when I get the right level of tipsy...and seem waay worse when I get slobbering drunk. So it's a balance, I guess lool
Ikr? I'm a pro at staying buzzed for like 8 hours. Only time I like life... lol... Sucks when you ruin the balance a little and stop feeling it though.
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 13, 2014, 04:53:38 PM
I never get high. Except pot, if somebody offers me pot I'll smoke it...which happens a lot, it seems like everybody smokes pot. But on the rare occasion someone offers me a little more, like dope or whatever...which is pretty rare but haas happened I always say no. Even tho I'm sorely tempted to try it tbh.
The lesson isss...say no to drugs kids! And yeahh when I get too drunk tho things get baad...so everythings better when youre a liittle drunk..like I am now! Soo yay!
no fair -.- my body rejects alcohol
whoop, i'm thinking i'm loving this rush i feel! feels like i can fly! :icon_weee:
Quote from: sad panda on May 13, 2014, 04:54:09 PM
Ikr? I'm a pro at staying buzzed for like 8 hours. Only time I like life... lol... Sucks when you ruin the balance a little and stop feeling it though.
Right? I loove that buzz feeling, it's like la dee dee da, life is wonderful and I feel fun and flirty then I get too drunk and I start crying and then I go psychotic and it's like uhh, moods gone D;
I used to be with someone who had psychotic episodes when he drank. Scariest person I have ever been with.
Quote from: Edge on May 13, 2014, 05:06:21 PM
I used to be with someone who had psychotic episodes when he drank. Scariest person I have ever been with.
Welll, I'm not scaary. I mean when I get psychotic, yeah that's pretty f'ng scary but I'm generally more melancholy than anything.
But glad you got out of that relationship, sounds toxic *hug*
Quote from: Edge on May 13, 2014, 05:06:21 PM
I used to be with someone who had psychotic episodes when he drank. Scariest person I have ever been with.
I had to call the police on a drunken housemate once. One of the least fun parts of my life experience to date.
Quote from: Edge on May 13, 2014, 05:06:21 PM
I used to be with someone who had psychotic episodes when he drank. Scariest person I have ever been with.
o.o i'm a happy drunk so i'm also glad you got out of that. never seen those type of people though but i now know they exist
Some people REALLY should not drink at all. I challenge some of you to try going 30 days sober. You all know who you are.
I love you all and want you to be healthy. Boozing it up all the time adds to your problems and solves nothing.
Drinking on occasion can add to your fun, but being blotto all the time is BAD.
No free beer for you...
^ I pretty much agree with this. (edit: your lives, your rules though)
Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 05:13:02 PM
Some people REALLY should not drink at all. I challenge some of you to try going 30 days sober. You all know who you are.
I love you all and want you to be healthy. Boozing it up all the time adds to your problems and solves nothing.
Drinking on occasion can add to your fun, but being blotto all the time is BAD.
No free beer for you...
but jill-oneechan, i dont drink that much :( just when i do, people say i go on a binge :o usually dont remember afterwards
Doesn't it suck when you have a good time but can't effing remember it?
Mehh, I feel like personally if I didn't drink at least a little, thesedays, i'd be not so good. I need that to calm me sometimes, even if its just a little. I don't consider myself an alcoholic, anyway
Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 05:16:51 PM
Doesn't it suck when you have a good time but can't effing remember it?
*high five* tell me about it! i could be the life of the party but yet i cant remember nani mo(nothing in japanese) the next day. really sucks
i'm thinking i need to go swimming. havent gone swimming in 2 years which makes everyone worry and drives me mental cuz i miss the water :-\
Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 05:13:02 PM
I challenge some of you to try going 30 days sober. You all know who you are.
>:-) I haven't drunk anything alcoholic in over three years. Mind you, I was never addicted to begin with and it is very easy for me not to drink.
I'm glad I broke up with him too.
edge, help me summon a water demon xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 05:44:09 PM
edge, help me some a water demon xD
Sure. We have to go swimming in order to do so though and then dance around a bonfire.
Quote from: Edge on May 13, 2014, 05:45:24 PM
Sure. We have to go swimming in order to do so though and then dance around a bonfire.
tried that, all i got was a guppy xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 05:44:09 PM
edge, help me summon a water demon xD
I think you have to play some Dethklok to make that happen. \m/ (-|-) \m/
Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 05:48:27 PM
I think you have to play some Dethklok to make that happen. \m/ (-|-) \m/
some what ??? ??? xD
Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 05:48:27 PM
I think you have to play some Dethklok to make that happen. \m/ (-|-) \m/
YESSSS! That was a lake troll though.
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 05:49:22 PM
some what ??? ??? xD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkdnyYCXPlA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkdnyYCXPlA)
i got the high without the drugs haha! god how i love this feeling!
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 05:49:22 PM
some what ??? ??? xD
OMG, you must see Metalocalypse! Best cartoon EVER. And the music totally rocks. It's like really awesome melodic death metal. Even if you don't like death metal, this is good music.
Their live guitar player is Mike Keneally, who has played with Zappa, Vai and Satriani, in addition to his solo stuff. Once he let me play his green Strat and another time he got my band backstage at a Dethklok show. I saw him last month at a small club and watched him play scary stuff from 5 feet away. Yes, I'm a career rock and roll junkie and still occasionally party with rock stars. Crap, am I like a groupie now that I transitioned?
Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 05:58:04 PM
OMG, you must see Metalocalypse! Best cartoon EVER. And the music totally rocks. It's like really awesome melodic death metal. Even if you don't like death metal, this is good music.
Their live guitar player is Mike Keneally, who has played with Zappa, Vai and Satriani, in addition to his solo stuff. Once he let me play his green Strat and another time he got my band backstage at a Dethklok show. I saw him last month at a small club and watched him play scary stuff from 5 feet away. Yes, I'm a career rock and roll junkie and still occasionally party with rock stars. Crap, am I like a groupie now that I transitioned?
i might! though heavy metal gives me a headache and my makes my brain turn to mush but i've seen it before though xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 05:59:50 PM
i might! though heavy metal gives me a headache and my makes my brain turn to mush but i've seen it before though xD
Metal is like drugs, but way better and won't kill you. Might make you deafer though if you do it right...
Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 06:06:32 PM
Metal is like drugs, but way better and won't kill you. Might make you deafer though if you do it right...
ehh, maybe on certain days when i dont have a blazing migraine o.o
I just found out that a Disney actor is openly Asatru.
I'M THINKING ABOUT PANADAS!!!!!!!
I'm thinking that I'm just going to add the .11 cents to my top surgery fund just to see it grow a little. That will make me happy.
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 06:37:57 PM
I'M THINKING ABOUT PANADAS!!!!!!!
Is that that country in the north where black and white bears come from?
Quote from: Dee Marshall on May 13, 2014, 08:13:58 PM
Is that that country in the north where black and white bears come from?
i was think more so of purple pandas with pink horns and silver wings o.o xD :laugh: :laugh:
Ohhh my god oh my god oh my god, haha. Life is...life is funny haha. Priceless, actually haha.
God..
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 13, 2014, 08:24:50 PM
Ohhh my god oh my god oh my god, haha. Life is...life is funny haha. Priceless, actually haha.
God..
o.o what i miss :o
I keep finding or refinding bands, realizing I really like them, and then remembering that I ran out of room on my ipod and need to get rid of some of my music to make way for any new music.
i think i got a hangover -.- i will never again take more than 3 Excedrin while drinking a redbull
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 08:34:51 PM
i think i got a hangover -.- i will never again take more than 3 Excedrin while drinking a redbull
Ah so that explains it.
Quote from: Edge on May 13, 2014, 08:35:40 PM
Ah so that explains it.
i have my moments to you know. i just had a headache.....yea thats what it was o.o
If you guys don't want the guppy can I have it?
and I'm glad malachite added the $.11 to the top fund. That's what I was rooting for.
Quote from: christopher on May 13, 2014, 10:52:19 PM
If you guys don't want the guppy can I have it?
and I'm glad malachite added the $.11 to the top fund. That's what I was rooting for.
throws chris-oniichan the guppy. here take the GD thing, i dont want it! xD
yay! I got the guppy. I'm going to call her nancy :D
Quote from: christopher on May 13, 2014, 10:55:11 PM
yay! I got the guppy. I'm going to call her nancy :D
its a male guppy, chris-oniichan xd
it is? ok, I'll call him charles. Hmmm... I wonder where nancy came from?
hmm... now I have charles and nancy do you suppose.... I'm gonna have baby guppies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so... did you answer before. should I call you the full umiko Liliana? Or just umiko? Or <does some googling> Umiko oneesan?
///
I wonder if my epi-pen expired.
Quote from: christopher on May 13, 2014, 11:16:51 PM
so... did you answer before. should I call you the full umiko Liliana? Or just umiko? Or <does some googling> Umiko oneesan?
///
I wonder if my epi-pen expired.
onee if i'm actually older, umiko, umi for my first name and if your using my middle name than liliana, lil or lily is fine xD i'm 21
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 11:19:39 PM
onee if i'm actually older, umiko, umi for my first name and if your using my middle name than liliana, lil or lily is fine xD i'm 21
ok, you are a young one, umiko. I tend to keep things short when possible because it makes it easier for my dyslexic brain.
I think I'm taking my guppies and going to sleep. Take gentle care of yourself.
Quote from: christopher on May 13, 2014, 11:26:50 PM
ok, you are a young one, umiko. I tend to keep things short when possible because it makes it easier for my dyslexic brain.
I think I'm taking my guppies and going to sleep. Take gentle care of yourself.
*waves* night chris-oniichan :laugh:
I have a weird patch of hair on my face. It's at the corner of my jaw under my ear and are these random, few strands of hair that are longer than one would expect from hair I hadn't noticed before.
"I should probably get to bed"
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 13, 2014, 08:26:02 PM
o.o what i miss :o
How to put this delicately...this guy I went out with for a couple months randomly hit me up and asked if I wanted to go out thursday, so I said suure, even though i dumped him, then he asks if I would...well, bleep him in the bleephole hahah.
Helll, ima do it. Idgaf if he *is* a t*nny ->-bleeped-<-. He's soo freaking adorable and I haven't been with a guy for a month and it sounds fun soo yeah! We're gonna hang out and get him waasted first hahah. I honestly don't care anymore, I figure if I wanna do something ima do it and not be ashamed because peope say females can't be dominant. Though, weirdly enough I'm going out with another, different guy Monday and I fully expect to be submissive with him hahah.
I'm weird. And a tramp. Yay slutpower!
lol. Have fun :)
Jen,
On top of this post and the other about the CL ad you must think I'm the biggest hoe ever haha. I'm not really, tho, or at least I don't see it that way..
Nahhhh. Do watcha like, that's my motto lol. Well for other people anyway, cuz I am too afraid of everything usually. Just be safe, esp when it comes to CL! Haha
Quote from: Jen on May 14, 2014, 12:40:47 AM
Nahhhh. Do watcha like, that's my motto lol. Well for other people anyway, cuz I am too afraid of everything usually. Just be safe, esp when it comes to CL! Haha
Ohh, I know this guy. We dated for like 2 months. He's 21, too adorable and rich/trust fund baby and lives in a luxury apt aand has expensive wines haha. Then the Monday guy I met off OkC not CL and I can tell he's a sweetheart. So I'm bein safe...i think lol. But thanks *hug*
Hey ladies, you can use the Private Message function for personal chats, y'know? :)
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 14, 2014, 12:47:05 AM
Hey ladies, you can use the Private Message function for personal chats, y'know? :)
Sorryy :\
TWO WEEKS TO METALLICA AT SONISPHERE FINLAND.
Fortunately I've learned to use my voice again when it comes to shouting because I'm so gonna need that ability in two weeks!
Quote from: christopher on May 13, 2014, 10:55:11 PM
yay! I got the guppy. I'm going to call her nancy :D
I'm wondering if the guppy is transgendered.
I ate two slices of cheesecake this morning, so I'm going to work out twice today. I just got done with the first workout and was dripping with sweat. I'm going to do the other workout later.
I'm wondering what's the point in even bothering anymore. I'm about as insignificant as a piece of dust.
For some reason, I just got a song from The Prince of Egypt stuck in my head even though I haven't seen that movie in years.
"A single thread in a tapestry, though it's colour brightly shines, can never see it's purpose in the pattern of the grand design."
Quote from: Edge on May 14, 2014, 09:56:35 AM
For some reason, I just got a song from The Prince of Egypt stuck in my head even though I haven't seen that movie in years.
"A single thread in a tapestry, though it's colour brightly shines, can never see it's purpose in the pattern of the grand design."
Thnx, now the song os stuck in mu head xD i'm thinking i'm a nervous wreck. at the endo's office and my heart is pounding a million miles an hour :o
You're welcome. >:-)
Deep breaths. Count with me in 1, 2, 3, 4 and out 1, 2, 3, 4 and in... sorry. I'm only half teasing. It helps me when I panic to make a list of all physical symptoms and work of making them less panicky starting with slowing breathing.
Quote from: Edge on May 14, 2014, 10:05:26 AM
You're welcome. >:-)
Deep breaths. Count with me in 1, 2, 3, 4 and out 1, 2, 3, 4 and in... sorry. I'm only half teasing. It helps me when I panic to make a list of all physical symptoms and work of making them less panicky starting with slowing breathing.
Your an evil villian edge-oniichan xD
I really hate being alone all the time. Now that I'm over being a hermit by choice and telling people to LMTFA, I really have nobody to hang out with most of the time these days. My wife had to make herself pretty scarce of late and it royally sucks. I really don't know what I'd do without you all right now. I'd consider going somewhere today, but the last round of electro didn't go well and mah face still looks worse than it did in high school. I swear I will never go back to that electrologist- ever. I look like a %^&*#$@ teenage boy in drag right now and it sucks.
I'm thinking of taken a mildly experienced therapist who is on my network and close to me over a more experienced expensive therapist who is out of reach and out of my net work o.o
~Baby it's a sweet life, sing it like a song
It's a short trip, only gettin one, you can't count on me an my love more than anyone, never let me go~
*does the rain dance* away man, why am i only getting the guppies xD
Quote from: Malachite on May 14, 2014, 09:37:24 AM
I ate two slices of cheesecake this morning, so I'm going to work out twice today. I just got done with the first workout and was dripping with sweat. I'm going to do the other workout later.
Just got done with the second workout. Instead of doing Speed 2.0, I did Speed 1.0 because I couldn't keep up with speed 2.0 as well. When I was working out, a bead of sweat dripped from my face and fell on my left boob.....and this time I turned the fan on while working out! Now I don't feel like a total fattie for eating those two slices of cheesecake since I worked out. At least I worked some of those calories off. Yay me!
Quote from: Malachite on May 14, 2014, 11:38:07 PM
Just got done with the second workout. Instead of doing Speed 2.0, I did Speed 1.0 because I couldn't keep up with speed 2.0 as well. When I was working out, a bead of sweat dripped from my face and fell on my left boob.....and this time I turned the fan on while working out! Now I don't feel like a total fattie for eating those two slices of cheesecake since I worked out. At least I worked some of those calories off. Yay me!
Congrats. ;D I've been trying to get over my social anxiety around running. I've spent some time sitting in the park, observing others running and seeing how they interact, and it's given me more courage to go out and actually try it myself.
I hate when people say "beauty fades with time"...yes, people get older. But they also die. Does the fact that death is inevitable mean we shouldn't appreciate life while we have it? If not, by the same token, why shouldn't we appreciate youth and beauty even if aging is inevitable?
My goal is to make whatever age I am look good. Ha.
Quote from: birkin on May 14, 2014, 11:48:50 PM
Congrats. ;D I've been trying to get over my social anxiety around running. I've spent some time sitting in the park, observing others running and seeing how they interact, and it's given me more courage to go out and actually try it myself.
Thanks! Good luck on your run! It looks like alot of fun. :)
Quote from: Jen on May 15, 2014, 12:11:37 AM
My goal is to make whatever age I am look good. Ha.
Yeah, but you found the fountain of youth, so you'll prolly look 20 at 70
I'm thinking that snowflakes are never insignificant.
Aww yiss, the cat has now 3,5kg more raw food. Thank you bundle offers. \o/
I'm worried about finances, what I'm going to do after university and how I'm going to pay off my student loans, how I'm going to get into a Masters program probably not in this province, how I'll pay to move there, how I'll afford to live, and how I'll complete it while being a single parent.
I'm worried about my grades. My GPA dropped from failing a statistics course. I'm not entirely sure how it works. Will I be able to bring it up again? Will I still be able to get into the programs I want? (Due to GPA. I'm retaking the stats course.)
I have to ask my ex for a favour. I hope he's ok with it.
If all goes well next semester, I'll be taking five courses, all with homework, three labs, being a single parent to an autistic child, maintaining the cleanliness of my apartment, and getting all my errands done. Dear gods. Will I be able to do it?
I think I accidentally slipped to a mutual friend that I care about D too much. I hope she doesn't hate me.
I'm pissed. Dude makes a date with me day before yesterday for tonight, then he never texts to confirm, ugh.
He proolly got embarrassed by what he wanted to do, but still. Jackass, ugh. If the little whimp ever doees text back I'm not even gonna respond to his sorry ass.
wow, edge, you have a lot on your plate.
ok, I'm going to give the baby a bath. This should be interesting.
errr... "the baby" is my disabled pup. I've never referred to any of my animals as a baby before but this girl seems to have gained that nickname. It's so weird. I love the animals that share my life but I've never been one of those people who says their my "babies" or kids or whatever. But the disabled pup and I have a different relationship. She was so little and helpless when she came to me and then there was that awful period when she needed the amputation and getting her through that and it just stirred up something maternal in me. And she functions very well for all her issues, but with the brain damage, blindness and amputation in so many ways she's still so... baby-ish.
Anyway, I'm off to give the stinky girl a bath.
Trying to make sense of a very vivid dream I had.
The part where I was drinking coffee with (and kissing) George Clooney made the most sense, but when we were walking home from the coffee place(he lives nearby), I was washed away by a flash flood into a lake where I began to sink from the weight of my purse that I refused to let go of.
So I'd rather die than have to shed my femininity?
I want to work out, but my stomach is full. It's better if I wait to let this food digest.
So I just found out that a mother that would come to our church from time to time with her kids has a girlfriend. I may be trans and affirming, but it still surprises me in a way just because I'm not used to people I know being somewhat out. She also has some LBGT-friendly Facebook sites she liked on hers, which I thought was cool. Her daughter also has a girlfriend, which I already knew about. I'll just stop right ther with my thoughts on that as I don't want to potentially offend anyone.
So last night was...
Yeah...
i'm thinking i might have to revert back into my old coping ways if this doesnt work
Considering making a list of "100 things you should do before SRS".
I keep getting shin splints. Maybe I should give my legs a rest with the walking, but it's not like this has been more walking then I'm used to.
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 16, 2014, 11:02:26 AM
i'm thinking i might have to revert back into my old coping ways if this doesnt work.
What are your old coping ways and do they work?
Quote from: Edge on May 16, 2014, 12:17:17 PM
I keep getting shin splints. Maybe I should give my legs a rest with the walking, but it's not like this has been more walking then I'm used to.
What are your old coping ways and do they work?
my old coping ways would get me committed to the hospital and they work but only for like an hour or less. i really wanna go swimming (serves as my destresser) but i can't -.-
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 16, 2014, 12:27:04 PM
my old coping ways would get me committed to the hospital and they work but only for like an hour or less. i really wanna go swimming (serves as my destresser) but i can't -.-
Time to try something else.
Quote from: Edge on May 16, 2014, 12:41:34 PM
Time to try something else.
dancing in the rain barefooted in NY? lol
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 16, 2014, 12:42:18 PM
dancing in the rain barefooted in NY? lol
lol Watch out for glass. I mean as coping methods. I'll see if I can find my old stuff and put it up here somewhere, but it's hidden in a box right now.
Quote from: Edge on May 16, 2014, 12:49:30 PM
lol Watch out for glass. I mean as coping methods. I'll see if I can find my old stuff and put it up here somewhere, but it's hidden in a box right now.
ah coping skills. i can always become a hermit and live in the mountains xD
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 16, 2014, 12:58:54 PM
ah coping skills. i can always become a hermit and live in the mountains xD
That's tempting. The rockies of BC are particularly beautiful.
Quote from: Edge on May 16, 2014, 01:05:25 PM
That's tempting. The rockies of BC are particularly beautiful.
even though anything that has more then 6 legs, is a rodent or crawls or slithers on its stomach scares me to the point my screams would split the earth into many tiny pieces because of the bone chilling, blood curdling screams, i still like to hike so ROAD TRIP! xD
i just took a test and it showed i was extreme o.o are these tests even accurate? ???
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 16, 2014, 01:53:46 PM
i just took a test and it showed i was extreme o.o are these tests even accurate? ???
Extremely what?
Quote from: Edge on May 16, 2014, 02:46:57 PM
Extremely what?
my dysphoria is on the high end of extreme due to my answers. i was just browsing around and said oh i'll see what i get and well, i got extremely dysphoric which isnt inaccurate but still, are those types of tests even accurate? :-\
I'm thinking about rollerblading and successfully doing tricks with the skates (in reality, I'd end up in hospital).
"Be careful what you're wishin' for
Now that you've opened up that door
You might scream, you might shout
Trying to suss it out, sinkin' low"
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 16, 2014, 02:51:48 PM
my dysphoria is on the high end of extreme due to my answers. i was just browsing around and said oh i'll see what i get and well, i got extremely dysphoric which isnt inaccurate but still, are those types of tests even accurate? :-\
Internet tests? No. That sucks that you have a lot of dysphoria though.
I wish I could share all the things I like with my friends.
Quote from: Edge on May 16, 2014, 03:34:07 PM
Internet tests? No. That sucks that you have a lot of dysphoria though.
I wish I could share all the things I like with my friends.
it really does. the type of dysphoria i have is strong enough to make god hit the ground and cry a new ocean o.o but if it wasnt for this, i wouldnt of met you all ^-^ so in a sense some good came out of it and it really made me realize whats more important in my life, so i'm thinking i'm grateful ^-^
*strokes my chin* "Oh, I missed a spot."
"Wait, no I didn't, I left that part unshaven because I'm trying to grow a goatee."
I like it actually, so far. It doesn't look good yet, needs more time, but it's a nice balance between having facial hair and not feeling itchy and uncomfortable. The cheeks/lower neck are smooth and feel nice, but still got the hairiness on the chin.
I need something nice to happen to me today. So far today has pretty much blown goats other than the fact I got to have brunch out with one of my best friends. I really can't wait for my vacation next week. Getting away just can't come soon enough for me right now.
Circumstances seem to have been laughing me in the face lately and I just got shafted yet again.
I'm a slut and a b-ch with a bad personality and a sick f-d up brain. I'm sick of myself. At least I'm pretty, if I try. There's that. Everybody's like ohh, you should model lol. My mom was just telling me that today, actually..she was like "you could be a supermodel". Funny. That requires such..aspiration and like...drive haha. I don't have any of that. All my pretty face is gonna get me is on my knees. Or my back. Or hell, in recent developments on top of someone else hahah.
And nobody really cares. I'm ranting here cuuz...I dunno why lol! But I don't expect any of you to care, so I'm sorry for always b-ching and moaning, here. The only people that care are the ones who wanna touch me...and even then, they only really care if they *can* and in the end that's all they really care about. But in peoples defense I don't give much to love. So yeah.
In other news, some guy asked me if I had lip injections today, loolwuut xD i was like 'heeell naw, fool, these are aall mine' haha
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 16, 2014, 05:28:02 PM
In other news, some guy asked me if I had lip injections today, loolwuut xD i was like 'heeell naw, fool, these are aall mine' haha
is everything ok? lol, your getting me worried
Quote from: birkin on May 16, 2014, 04:17:39 PM
*strokes my chin* "Oh, I missed a spot."
"Wait, no I didn't, I left that part unshaven because I'm trying to grow a goatee."
Like Tony Stark?
I wish! Unfortunately, it doesn't travel too high up the front chin - just kind of peeks up. My mustache is also questionable, so I may end up with one of those "just on the chin" beards. We'll see.
Quote from: birkin on May 16, 2014, 05:35:01 PM
I wish! Unfortunately, it doesn't travel too high up the front chin - just kind of peeks up. My mustache is also questionable, so I may end up with one of those "just on the chin" beards. We'll see.
Just please don't do the chin strap beard. Around here, those are for d-bag hipsters who think their pork pie hats make them look cool.
Don't worry lol. I won't. I hate hair around the ears.
It gets better. It can only get better. This crappy week will be over soon and next week will be awesome. IT WILL BE AWESOME, right?
Quote from: Jill F on May 16, 2014, 07:45:20 PM
It gets better. It can only get better. This crappy week will be over soon and next week will be awesome. IT WILL BE AWESOME, right?
HELL YES! :icon_2gun: :eusa_clap:
I'm also wondering about how straight women seem to have a...different...reaction when their "husband" transitions to female. I've seen again and again where they get angry, feel betrayed, so on and so forth. Straight men don't seem to feel betrayed when their "wife" is FTM, even if they feel less attracted to them as a result. And lesbians seem...well, weird about the transition, but they don't seem to exhibit the same sense of betrayal, almost bordering on hatred, that straight women do.
So I have to wonder what's up with that.
Quote from: birkin on May 16, 2014, 08:36:48 PM
HELL YES! :icon_2gun: :eusa_clap:
I'm also wondering about how straight women seem to have a...different...reaction when their "husband" transitions to female. I've seen again and again where they get angry, feel betrayed, so on and so forth. Straight men don't seem to feel betrayed when their "wife" is FTM, even if they feel less attracted to them as a result. And lesbians seem...well, weird about the transition, but they don't seem to exhibit the same sense of betrayal, almost bordering on hatred, that straight women do.
So I have to wonder what's up with that.
Uh - probably has something to do with the motives of others like the pretty little chickster in line ahead of me at Starbucks who was showing off her big diamond engagement ring to her wide eyed girlfriend as she said, "He makes a great income and can really take care of me!" I didn't hear the word "love" or anything like that mentioned in the conversation.
Quote from: birkin on May 16, 2014, 08:36:48 PM
HELL YES! :icon_2gun: :eusa_clap:
I'm also wondering about how straight women seem to have a...different...reaction when their "husband" transitions to female. I've seen again and again where they get angry, feel betrayed, so on and so forth. Straight men don't seem to feel betrayed when their "wife" is FTM, even if they feel less attracted to them as a result. And lesbians seem...well, weird about the transition, but they don't seem to exhibit the same sense of betrayal, almost bordering on hatred, that straight women do.
So I have to wonder what's up with that.
Ya know, I have no freaking clue. My wife is pretty dudely/andro anyway, doesn't have religious or family hangups, kinda bisexual, truly my soulmate and said that she fell in love with a person and not a gender. I'm really the same person, but just "new and improved" now. I even have that "new girl smell" going for me. The funny thing is that if she became "Ken" (yes, she said she would have wanted that name if she was a guy), I would have probably had to process that one for a bit but ulitmately I'd be fine with it. Hell, she can already grow a way better 'stache than I can anyway.
Quote from: Jill F on May 16, 2014, 08:50:04 PM
Ya know, I have no freaking clue. My wife is pretty dudely/andro anyway, doesn't have religious or family hangups, kinda bisexual, truly my soulmate and said that she fell in love with a person and not a gender. I'm really the same person, but just "new and improved" now. I even have that "new girl smell" going for me. The funny thing is that if she became "Ken" (yes, she said she would have wanted that name if she was a guy), I would have probably had to process that one for a bit but ulitmately I'd be fine with it. Hell, she can already grow a way better 'stache than I can anyway.
+1 I feel the same way, though it's highly unlikely here. We've talked about how I would be able to deal with it if she had a bilateral mastectomy at some time for health reasons and I said that I married a person not a set of boobs, it wouldn't make any difference. So I guess it comes down to those who have shallow motives over those who are committed come hell or high water.
Quote from: Shantel on May 16, 2014, 08:58:25 PM
+1 I feel the same way, though it's highly unlikely here. We've talked about how I would be able to deal with it if she had a bilateral mastectomy at some time for health reasons and I said that I married a person not a set of boobs, it wouldn't make any difference. So I guess it comes down to those who have shallow motives over those who are committed come hell or high water.
Oh, don't get me started. One of my wife's law partners is such a pig that he bought his wife a BA for her birthday once that she didn't even ask for. Then he brags about it and likes to "show her off" to people. That litte guy is clearly overcompensating for a perceived shortcoming. Men who essentially reduce their SOs to a "walking rack" should be force fed their own sh*t.
On the subject of significant others, I have no idea. I imagine if I came out as trans to some of my cis male ex's, they'd have a huge problem with it though. Ironically, my most abusive ex is perfectly fine with me being trans.
I wonder if I should ask for hair advice or if that would make me seem too weird.
i'm thinking i want a salted pickle o.o
Abby, if it makes any difference I care
///
I should probably take a shower or a bath. I'm slightly drunk which doesn't happen often with me. maybe I'll get a bit drunker before I shower or take a bath. I decided to roll around on some rocks that were full of barnacles and I'm cut up big time.
Is there something like sleepstudying?
So Far Cry 4 has just been announced and it's supposed to be released on Nov. 18. Because Ubisoft is the publisher, mark my words: Far Cry 4 WILL be pushed back to "work on the game a bit more". I'm telling you that Ubisoft WILL do it.
malachite it seems like more of your letters aren't working.
I'm annoyed I woke up so early but I might as well make use of it.
Quote from: Shantel on May 16, 2014, 08:44:44 PM
Uh - probably has something to do with the motives of others like the pretty little chickster in line ahead of me at Starbucks who was showing off her big diamond engagement ring to her wide eyed girlfriend as she said, "He makes a great income and can really take care of me!" I didn't hear the word "love" or anything like that mentioned in the conversation.
Possibly. I'd hate to think that so many women were shallow. =/ Not that men can't be shallow too. I wonder if part of it has to do with socialization...I think a lot of girls are raised to revere men as if they were some strange species, and then you couple that with the "fantasy" of finding the "good man" and settling down and having the white picket fence and the 2.4 kids...like women are taught that if you've achieved that, you've reached success and that's the goal.
It's completely impossible for me to understand. For me, the idea of being with a man was so completely abhorrent. If I chose that path, and my husband became a woman, it would seriously go like this:
Me to other people: yeah gotta stand by my man no matter what you know.
Me to my new wife: Let me play with your boobies later.
Quote from: Jill F on May 16, 2014, 08:50:04 PM
Ya know, I have no freaking clue. My wife is pretty dudely/andro anyway, doesn't have religious or family hangups, kinda bisexual, truly my soulmate and said that she fell in love with a person and not a gender. I'm really the same person, but just "new and improved" now. I even have that "new girl smell" going for me. The funny thing is that if she became "Ken" (yes, she said she would have wanted that name if she was a guy), I would have probably had to process that one for a bit but ulitmately I'd be fine with it. Hell, she can already grow a way better 'stache than I can anyway.
My ex and I had that conversation...I wondered extensively what I would have done if it turned out she was FTM. I can't say for sure, because you don't know until these things happen, but I honestly think that if we stayed together, it would be the end of the sexual and physical relationship. But if she just had to get her breasts removed for something, and wasn't working towards a male appearance, I'd be OK - as long as the rest of her was all woman. Just like if a woman has a penis, I don't mind, as long as she is aesthetically female.
Quote from: Edge on May 16, 2014, 11:15:41 PM
On the subject of significant others, I have no idea. I imagine if I came out as trans to some of my cis male ex's, they'd have a huge problem with it though. Ironically, my most abusive ex is perfectly fine with me being trans.
I wonder if I should ask for hair advice or if that would make me seem too weird.
Funny you mention the hair thing, I've been thinking of asking people the same question but I don't know how to do that without showing my face.
It's weird how the most abusive person is OK with the trans thing. People are so surprising with this.
i'm thinking my new cami is super itchy o:
Our county commissioner is nuts. He came into the store this morning, told me I was a beautiful person and he loved me. I told him that if he were about to buy alcohol, I would have to refuse the sale.
He doesn't drink, he's just hilariously crazy, just the kind of politician we really need.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 17, 2014, 05:06:50 PM
Our county commissioner is nuts. He came into the store this morning, told me I was a beautiful person and he loved me. I told him that if he were about to buy alcohol, I would have to refuse the sale.
He doesn't drink, he's just hilariously crazy, just the kind of politician we really need.
Must be a real nice guy, we could use a lot more of him.
Quote from: Shantel on May 17, 2014, 06:05:11 PM
Must be a real nice guy, we could use a lot more of him.
And weirdly enough, he's republican...
I'm thinking I have to take my meds, but my bag is on the other side of my room so that will involve getting up and once I'm up I'm up. Now I'm thinking why did I put my bag there when I went to bed last night
Wow..my Tumblr account went downhill faast hahah
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 17, 2014, 06:10:12 PM
And weirdly enough, he's republican...
And obviously a real human being!
Quote from: Shantel on May 17, 2014, 06:21:35 PM
And obviously a real human being!
He's also a driving instructor for high school kids, so that kind of remains to be seen...
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 17, 2014, 06:39:11 PM
He's also a driving instructor for high school kids, so that kind of remains to be seen...
I had an answer all ready to post but thought better of it as it might be inflammatory, but I think I read your mind and where you were going. :icon_peace:
Quote from: Shantel on May 17, 2014, 06:46:01 PM
I had an answer all ready to post but thought better of it as it might be inflammatory, but I think I read your mind and where you were going. :icon_peace:
It likely wouldn't have bothered me. He's told me some of the things that happens when he's teaching them to drive and some of the stupid stuff they want him to teach them in the classroom. I'm not sure a real human being could deal with all that, lol.
Apt. living sucks, my goofy neighbors seem to always be getting up to some sort of monkey business that I'd rather not be bothered with
I'm glad I don't have an apartment in a barrel of monkeys. Not that trailer life in a tight park is any better.
Having a house and yard to maintain isn't a lot of fun at times either. But I don't have to put up with a lot of crap from anyone though. Got the neighbors under my thumb...
I hate the word "hulled."
It's funny/weird when there's countless people around you could spend time with..and kiss and hold or whatever, really. Kinda whatever you want in a way. Every type, size, shape, background. Etc. And you're still...so lonely. Cause they can touch you wherever you want on your body...but you really don't feel them when they're meaningless. It's like your in your own brain and every touch is just strange.
I guess I just wonder if it's me or them. Does everyone feel like that? I wanna meet that one person who makes me feel electric...like that..wow. But I kinda wonder if I can. Probably not. But one things for sure, being lonely has nothing to do with being alone...I'm just as lonely laying in bed next to someone who means nothing as I am home all by myself. So i think it's tricky to find the right person. Or maybe it's just all this time has made that part of me untouchable. Dunno
i'm thinking i gotta nothing to think about :o
I'm thinking about what wine might go best with tandoori chicken.
If this sauvignon blanc doesn't work, maybe a chenin blanc? I guess if all else fails, pinot noir goes with most things.
I'm thinking, I've just started a post with the words I'm thinking, when the titel of the thred exsplains that, before you even read it. And that maybe its just some form of automatic responce in acordance to posting in, a what are you thinking thred. Now will I even reach the point I was going to make considering thought is as fluid as a fluid, yes I can't spell ocean so fluid is a fluid :p, is a smiley even a thought? Ok right so I should just get to the point already, but I can't because its what am I thinking not what was I thinking. , I think I over think far too much to be able to post here in a considered normal way. But i wanted too and I suppose posting what I was goiing to doesn't matter as long as I did what I set out to do I the forst place which was post here in the firstplace. So mabe I should just say what I was thinkingN even though it isn't active thought now, yes I will but ill seperate it from the thought since it isn't exacly current?
__________________________________________________________________________
Well coming away from my endlessly fluid thoughts, I was thinking I have absoloutly no Idea I bout wine and can't apreciate Jills dilenmma.
Quote from: Jill F on May 17, 2014, 09:36:45 PM
I'm thinking about what wine might go best with tandoori chicken.
If this sauvignon blanc doesn't work, maybe a chenin blanc? I guess if all else fails, pinot noir goes with most things.
(I think) something with a berry or heavy fruity flavor, pinot if you're into red or Gewurztraminer if you like white
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 17, 2014, 10:15:47 PM
(I think) something with a berry or heavy fruity flavor, pinot if you're into red or Gewurztraminer if you like white
You're probably right about the Gewurztraminer. If I only had any laying around...
Actually Rieslings and Gewurz really do go well with spicy foods come to think of it. I have them all the time with Chinese and Thai.
Electric sounded a good idea, so I put on the headphones, plugged in and teased the fretboard until it delivered something to my liking
It was good therapy
Wondering why I rented a scary haunted house movie - The Conjuring - it's night and I'm alone and it's too damned scary to keep watching it!!
:icon_nervious:
Think I'll have to watch the rest in the morning...
:icon_yikes:
I just texted about 10 men to delete my number Lol. I am tired of having to explain my gender to men who are "Curious". I told them I will not be the girl to help you solve your sexuality issues as I have my own life to keep in mind. Some guys can be soooo draining with their questions and insecurities. I mean biological girls and guys never have to explain their gender. UGHHH! -_- Also thinking I need me a diary. one thing I have stopped doing over the years is dancing and writing poetry. So i've wiped all men looking for 'fun' out of my life, Its about time i focused more on myself.
I'm wondering if I should make another blog post.
i'm thinking of poking someone just to see their reaction xD :icon_poke:
I wonder why I even bother writing blog posts.
Quote from: Edge on May 18, 2014, 02:48:14 PM
I wonder why I even bother writing blog posts.
what happened this time hun o.o
I'm thinking Edge's blog posts are better reading than many things I could read.
Quote from: Umiko Liliana on May 18, 2014, 02:49:02 PM
what happened this time hun o.o
Nothing. My mind is just a weird, wonderful (to me), but invisible place that I am a little to obsessed with.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 18, 2014, 03:00:11 PM
I'm thinking Edge's blog posts are better reading than many things I could read.
Thanks.
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 18, 2014, 06:44:05 AM
Wondering why I rented a scary haunted house movie - The Conjuring - it's night and I'm alone and it's too damned scary to keep watching it!!
:icon_nervious:
Think I'll have to watch the rest in the morning...
:icon_yikes:
Lolol. I watched that movie with Rainbow Brite. She was so scared haha. Her heart was beating so fast and she had this constipated look on her face. Every now and again she would let out this girly little "ugh!" :p so needless to say I enjoyed the film a lot.
I watched a lot of Horror/Gore films when I was younger. But now, I find the majority of them to be amazingly boring and tedious. The only exceptions are Night Of The Living Dead (original B/W version), the first two Evil Dead flicks, 2000 Maniacs and Color Me Blood Red.
I'm thinking that once I can ever afford to again, I'm gonna go legit.
Oh, and there's a cute dog on the tv.
time to eat now.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on May 18, 2014, 03:21:01 PM
I watched a lot of Horror/Gore films when I was younger. But now, I find the majority of them to be amazingly boring and tedious. The only exceptions are Night Of The Living Dead (original B/W version), the first two Evil Dead flicks, 2000 Maniacs and Color Me Blood Red.
Those ARE good. Especially NOTLD + ED. I thought the third one was OK, but the remake/reboot wasn't worthy to even bother with.
Going to see Godzilla later. Skeptical...
Quote from: Jill F on May 18, 2014, 03:26:54 PM
Those ARE good. Especially NOTLD + ED. I thought the third one was OK, but the remake/reboot wasn't worthy to even bother with.
Going to see Godzilla later. Skeptical...
I despise remakes. The only one I've watched in recent memory was 2001 Maniacs. I had zero expectations going into it, but it was utterly horrid. It, like, totally sucked. Like, ya know what I mean?
But there are even some HG Lewis films that I can't watch now. Even though I KNOW it's fake, the effects are just so gruesome, I can't take it these days. I remember watching "The Gore Gore Girls" on Youtube and I only made it 20 minutes into it. I've become much more squeamish these days. (In some ways anyway. I still die laughing at that stabbing scene in "Color Me Blood Red". How could you not? It shows you exactly what NOT to do or say when you are around a psychopath that is twirling a knife around in his hands with this utterly insane expression on his face. Live and learn.....or die in this case.)
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on May 18, 2014, 03:53:23 PM
I despise remakes. The only one I've watched in recent memory was 2001 Maniacs. I had zero expectations going into it, but it was utterly horrid. It, like, totally sucked. Like, ya know what I mean?
But there are even some HG Lewis films that I can't watch now. Even though I KNOW it's fake, the effects are just so gruesome, I can't take it these days. I remember watching "The Gore Gore Girls" on Youtube and I only made it 20 minutes into it. I've become much more squeamish these days. (In some ways anyway. I still die laughing at that stabbing scene in "Color Me Blood Red". How could you not? It shows you exactly what NOT to do or say when you are around a psychopath that is twirling a knife around in his hands with this utterly insane expression on his face. Live and learn.....or die in this case.)
You need to see "Dead Hooker in a Trunk".
Quote from: Jill F on May 18, 2014, 03:59:05 PM
You need to see "Dead Hooker in a Trunk".
LMAO Wow.
I just read the Wikipedia page on it. It sounds like a really screwed up film. I don't know if I will ever get around to seeing it, though. I rarely watch movies. (Other than the Horror/Gore films in the previous posts and others in different genres).
I hate the American remake of Let The Right One In.
I need my horror fix. RB doesn't like them and my ex, who does like them, has no interest in speaking to me atm. They're not as fun alone.
Thinks, that I should know what a "gaff" is considering Ive seen the word used here more than a few times o.O
Thinking that I'm completely incapable of disentangling my opinion on future prospects from my opinion on how things feel right now.
i'm thinking i get anxious whenever i hear my boy name o.o whoop looks like the battle is finally over!
I really hope I can make a craft store run sometime soon. I hope one of those glitter jars can help me curb my anxiety.
why the hell am i setting of so many men gaydars -.- its like everywhere i turn, there's one ready to pounce me -.- i'm thinking i need men repellent
'Let's take jesuus off the table, got enough on his miind'
God I love Lana del Reeey
Here I am 86 minutes before the exam, already with my second coffee and reviewing some notes I made. It should be an easy exam, I supposedly am overprepared. But I've paid 230€ to take it, and I only get one freaking chance. So I'm feeling pretty uneasy, even if it should be a walk in the park compared to the next thing.
But I keep telling to myself: "Julia, if you can't beat this, you don't belong in law school or any other career".
BTW, I'm ->-bleeped-<-ting myself, as with every exam I've taken on the last years. Literally there is a brownstorm every fifteen minutes. Damn panic.
PD: I'm going as butch as possible. No makeup, just jeans and a sweater, a hair band and glasses. In fact, I'm not even tucking since I don't want to be bothered by an accidental scrotum slip or skin fold pinch. I would be more confortable without the bra (which I don't really need being an A), but I need to keep a small level of feminity.
How'd it go, Julia?
I have a friend who believes in all sorts of crazy conspiracy theories that... I don't even know. For example, he's anti-vaccine. *head desk* WHY? Don't answer that.
I thinking thoughts. I'm not entirely sure what they are, but I'm pretty sure they're about me.
I'm thinking i don't know what is the right thing to do. Like, I'm having a moral dilemna
Quote from: christopher on May 19, 2014, 10:22:37 PM
I'm thinking i don't know what is the right thing to do. Like, I'm having a moral dilemna
*hands chris-oniichan a guppy* i picked one up while doing the rain dance but i didnt want it xD
Tonight was soo good for me you guys, omg, you have no idea. Sometimes it's nice to just go out and hang with cool, open minded people and just be silly and have a blast.
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 19, 2014, 10:35:11 PM
Tonight was soo good for me you guys, omg, you have no idea. Sometimes it's nice to just go out and hang with cool, open minded people and just be silly and have a blast.
I'm glad you had a good night! I know from your posts that you've been feeling down, so it's nice to see that some happiness has come your way. ;D
Quote from: Edge on May 19, 2014, 08:47:32 PM
I have a friend who believes in all sorts of crazy conspiracy theories that... I don't even know. For example, he's anti-vaccine. *head desk* WHY? Don't answer that.
Conspiracy theoriest can be fun to play with sometimes if you have the time and patience. We recently had a large debate about the right to not get their children vaccinated, thankfully sanity prevailed.
I'm thinking I'm either becoming more jaded and cynical OR my tolerance for people has serverly dropped. Oh my kingdom for a large blunt object to swing >:-)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 20, 2014, 12:56:02 AM
I'm thinking I'm either becoming more jaded and cynical OR my tolerance for people has serverly dropped. Oh my kingdom for a large blunt object to swing >:-)
I'd loan you an elephant's trunk, but I don't think you could swing it.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 20, 2014, 12:56:02 AM
I'm thinking I'm either becoming more jaded and cynical OR my tolerance for people has serverly dropped. Oh my kingdom for a large blunt object to swing >:-)
Just wait til you get my age honey! >:-)
On a forum of people who were raised female and people who are female, no one knows how to make my hair not look stupid. Fair enough. lol
I'm thinking about who I am and what I want.
I didn't paint the moldings in my room very well... some of the paint came off with the tape ;O; fml I am bad at this stuff
Quote from: Edge on May 20, 2014, 11:52:55 AM
On a forum of people who were raised female and people who are female, no one knows how to make my hair not look stupid. Fair enough. lol
I'm thinking about who I am and what I want.
I saw your pic in the pic sharing thread... why not go for a wild look like in your avatar? I think it can be really cool, you know like johnny depp-ish? Or maybe Dave Grohl/Andrew W.K. I would totally try a side part. Umh, Emo hair? Not your thing? That's all I got.
Quote from: sad panda on May 20, 2014, 12:45:43 PM
I saw your pic in the pic sharing thread... why not go for a wild look like in your avatar? I think it can be really cool, you know like johnny depp-ish? Or maybe Dave Grohl/Andrew W.K. I would totally try a side part. Umh, Emo hair? Not your thing? That's all I got.
I wish I could (not the emo hair), but I don't know how especially because my hair refuses to not look stupid. That's why I asked for help in the Help and Howto's area. My pic in the pic sharing thread happened to be rare good hair day (or closest I get anyway) seconds after I spent more time than was worth it straightening it. It went back to looking stupid a few minutes later.
To sum up, I don't need help with ideas for how I might want my hair to look. I need help actually getting it to do what I want.
i'm thinking its ramen time! yummy yummy noodlie deliciousness! xD
Quote from: Edge on May 20, 2014, 12:55:00 PM
I wish I could (not the emo hair), but I don't know how especially because my hair refuses to not look stupid. That's why I asked for help in the Help and Howto's area. My pic in the pic sharing thread happened to be rare good hair day (or closest I get anyway) seconds after I spent more time than was worth it straightening it. It went back to looking stupid a few minutes later.
To sum up, I don't need help with ideas for how I might want my hair to look. I need help actually getting it to do what I want.
Oh okay, have you tried mousse or any other serums and/or blow drying it instead of straightening? And I would use a leave-in conditioner since those guys will obviously run on the slightly oilier side. I also used to get a similar look with frizz ease, it wasn't for me but it would work.
Mowing along and the stupid blade belt decided to go. Got the new one on, but now I don't really feel like finishing the far back, so I'm gonna let it go for a few days...
And I really need to find a rebuild kit for the hydrostatic transmission on it. Thirty years has taken its toll and its overheating a little and I'm getting tired of stopping and hosing it down to cool it off.
Quote from: sad panda on May 20, 2014, 02:00:30 PM
Oh okay, have you tried mousse or any other serums and/or blow drying it instead of straightening? And I would use a leave-in conditioner since those guys will obviously run on the slightly oilier side. I also used to get a similar look with frizz ease, it wasn't for me but it would work.
I don't know how to use mousse. The problem isn't frizziness. I don't mind that anymore. The problem is that it insists on curling in directions and ways I don't want it to. It looks like this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20130417185034%2Ftoonami%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2F0%2F02%2FRukia_Kuchiki.png%2F500px-Rukia_Kuchiki.png&hash=80f646a4028c011ea509db7245e9f7d4859c5991)
All poofy out at the ears and curling out at the ends.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 20, 2014, 07:25:58 AM
I'd loan you an elephant's trunk, but I don't think you could swing it.
But how will the elephant be able to pack he's clothes then? The mood I've been in lately I could probably swing the trunk with the elephant still attached.
Quote from: Shantel on May 20, 2014, 09:27:01 AM
Just wait til you get my age honey! >:-)
I'll probably be yelling get off my lawn long before I reach your age.
Now thinking of investing in throwing boomerangs and practice for when I do get older. Oh what evil fun I could have >:-)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 20, 2014, 04:23:20 PM
But how will the elephant be able to pack he's clothes then? The mood I've been in lately I could probably swing the trunk with the elephant still attached.
I'll probably be yelling get off my lawn long before I reach your age.
Now thinking of investing in throwing boomerangs and practice for when I do get older. Oh what evil fun I could have >:-)
Waaaaa Hahaha, you're totally baaad sister! :D
Quote from: Edge on May 20, 2014, 02:58:00 PM
I don't know how to use mousse. The problem isn't frizziness. I don't mind that anymore. The problem is that it insists on curling in directions and ways I don't want it to. It looks like this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20130417185034%2Ftoonami%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2F0%2F02%2FRukia_Kuchiki.png%2F500px-Rukia_Kuchiki.png&hash=80f646a4028c011ea509db7245e9f7d4859c5991)
All poofy out at the ears and curling out at the ends.
Yuppers to have it not do that you will have to blow dry the ends till they are completely dry and i would use a flat brush, or round brush if you're okay with a gentle wave. It just happens at that length, it's a really common problem cuz it's light and also wants to rest on your shoulders. It will get better if you keep growing it out or weigh it down more (product, like the frizz ease would be more to change the texture than actually deal with frizz)
To use mousse you just put a decent sized dollop in your hand and kinda scrunch it in below your crown then rub it in throughout. Worth a try. (:
You can also get some layers which will help a little.
Thanks! I'll give it a try.
I got upset 3 times today because I have jerkhoes in my family. The first and second time IO only got mildly intoxicated. Thgis time I actually drank more and it really helps. I kind of understand why people use it now.
Muis ic very weird when you have been dirnking. Like it feels so much louder and it really surprises me. This is coming from someone who is fgor the most part an al;cohol virgin....25 and not really ever been proper FULL drunk. I mean I don't think I am now but I feel fine so I don't really want to push myself anymore because I hate puking.a
"One of the best things about a vagina is that there is no poop at the other side of the tunnel."
Anal will never be fullfulling :( . Can't wait for SRS.
Quote from: birkin on May 21, 2014, 04:50:55 AM
I got upset 3 times today because I have jerkhoes in my family. The first and second time IO only got mildly intoxicated. Thgis time I actually drank more and it really helps. I kind of understand why people use it now.
Muis ic very weird when you have been dirnking. Like it feels so much louder and it really surprises me. This is coming from someone who is fgor the most part an al;cohol virgin....25 and not really ever been proper FULL drunk. I mean I don't think I am now but I feel fine so I don't really want to push myself anymore because I hate puking.a
The conversation seemed to trail off at the end....hmmmmm he musta puked. :icon_drunk:
Quote from: Shantel on May 21, 2014, 09:15:15 AM
The conversation seemed to trail off at the end....hmmmmm he musta puked. :icon_drunk:
Oh God lol I have entered the prestigious club of drunk forum posting. -_- What an honor.
I regret using alcohol to get through the day yesterday. It'd be one thing if I drank at night to blow off steam but I drank several times in the day to curb the anxiety I am feeling. I probably take alcohol too seriously, what with the history of alcoholism in my family, but I still wish I hadn't done it. I think it made things worse in the long run...I woke up with a bad anxious feeling (not unusual) but after my shower it became a full on panic attack.
Quote from: birkin on May 21, 2014, 01:57:11 PM
Oh God lol I have entered the prestigious club of drunk forum posting. -_- What an honor.
I regret using alcohol to get through the day yesterday. It'd be one thing if I drank at night to blow off steam but I drank several times in the day to curb the anxiety I am feeling. I probably take alcohol too seriously, what with the history of alcoholism in my family, but I still wish I hadn't done it. I think it made things worse in the long run...I woke up with a bad anxious feeling (not unusual) but after my shower it became a full on panic attack.
Just relax, it's going to get better if you focus your brain on something other than what's causing the anxiety. I usually go outside and work my butt off on something, put the buds in and turn up the music.
The problem is that the anxiety is, mostly, caused by things that I actually need to do. Lol. I do feel better though. I got out and bought myself some new deodorant and razors, which I desperately needed. :P I was using cologne as deodorant and a razor that was so old and overused I was getting a rash on my face from what looks like ingrown hairs. I also got a haircut.
I can't believe how expensive it is to shave though. -_- $35 for a pack of 8 refills. I have an electric shaver but it's not precise enough to shave around my beard, and the beard trimmer doesn't cut the stubble short enough.
I just love seein' all the Cripple Bastards walkin' around in their underwear and smellin' their smell. Mmmmmm, it sends shivers up and down my spine.
Getting impatient waiting on my pizza to cook. And thinking about what kind of cookies I'll eat after the pizza.
Oh why did I choose blonde as my front colour this time, it is such a pain to wash. If my (coloured) red bleeds through it ruins the effect. Oh yeah supernova is comming up
And for those hanging on the edge of their seats wondering what cookie I chose, it's oreos. I've not been partaking of them lately due to an overabundance of various girl scout cookies.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 21, 2014, 04:57:37 PM
Getting impatient waiting on my pizza to cook. And thinking about what kind of cookies I'll eat after the pizza.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 21, 2014, 05:26:29 PM
And for those hanging on the edge of their seats wondering what cookie I chose, it's oreos. I've not been partaking of them lately due to an overabundance of various girl scout cookies.
Actually I'm wondering what pizza you are cooking and will you be willing to share a slice PLEASE. I forgot to eat breakfast before I came to work today
It was just one of those totino's party pizzas, really just big enough for a snack for me. And I had it eaten before I posted the second time, so sorry.
I got lots of cookies if your interested though, lol.
I have food.
Only enough for one meal a day, but its food. I should be grateful for that. But I want more. A move balanced diet.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 21, 2014, 05:26:29 PM
And for those hanging on the edge of their seats wondering what cookie I chose, it's Oreos.
:icon_blah:
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on May 21, 2014, 06:41:30 PM
:icon_blah:
Well, it was either that or some peanut butter patties. I have others, but I try not to have but a couple packs of cookies open at a time.
And oreos are good, unlike vegetables...
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 21, 2014, 05:26:29 PM
And for those hanging on the edge of their seats wondering what cookie I chose, it's oreos. I've not been partaking of them lately due to an overabundance of various girl scout cookies.
We all know that you're an oreo and pizza junkie! :D
i'm thinking of cheese
The taste of Spiro....it killlls uugh so horrid. I accidentally swallowed weird and it stuck to the back of my tongue/throat and agh I literally threw up on my knees waahh D;
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 22, 2014, 03:13:21 PM
The taste of Spiro....it killlls uugh so horrid. I accidentally swallowed weird and it stuck to the back of my tongue/throat and agh I literally threw up on my knees waahh D;
Yes, best to avoid all taste buds with that one!
blah, i'm thinking this whole waiting for my letter tomorrow is killing me. it seems like the ethereal spirits are messing with my head! xD yes i said ethereal spirits. time to go out reaping some souls xD that'll teach them not to mess with a reaper xD
Had to work the store a few towns over again to fill in for the manager and of course, things had to be messed up. Her account on the register was locked out, wouldn't take the id and pass that I had used the week before and she had not changed it, so had to call her and wake her up again(I really, really hated to do that on her day off). Then went to do paperwork and someone from the main office had forgotten to sign out of storetrak for that store, so it was locked. Throw in the unfamiliarity of the store for me in general and it was a crappy morning. And its not nearly as busy as what I am used to, so I was bored out of my mind most of the day, was wandering about, talking to myself more than usual and plus, I'm used to having a cook around that will fix me a ham biscuit in the morning at our store, so I was hungry, but nothing I wanted to eat.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 22, 2014, 04:25:52 PM
Had to work the store a few towns over again to fill in for the manager and of course, things had to be messed up. Her account on the register was locked out, wouldn't take the id and pass that I had used the week before and she had not changed it, so had to call her and wake her up again(I really, really hated to do that on her day off). Then went to do paperwork and someone from the main office had forgotten to sign out of storetrak for that store, so it was locked. Throw in the unfamiliarity of the store for me in general and it was a crappy morning. And its not nearly as busy as what I am used to, so I was bored out of my mind most of the day, was wandering about, talking to myself more than usual and plus, I'm used to having a cook around that will fix me a ham biscuit in the morning at our store, so I was hungry, but nothing I wanted to eat.
That was a crappy day, that should call for an extra large meat eater's pizza and a whole bag of chocolate and vanilla Oreos. :D
Quote from: Shantel on May 22, 2014, 05:23:10 PM
That was a crappy day, that should call for an extra large meat eater's pizza and a whole bag of chocolate and vanilla Oreos. :D
I had a pb&j sandwich after I got home. But thanks for bringing up pizza, I remember I still had one in the freezer, so I think I'm going to have that too. Might skip the cookies tonight, probably should start watching my figure. I weighed myself yesterday and I am at about 156, about a three pound gain in the last couple months.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 22, 2014, 05:28:41 PM
I had a pb&j sandwich after I got home. But thanks for bringing up pizza, I remember I still had one in the freezer, so I think I'm going to have that too. Might skip the cookies tonight, probably should start watching my figure. I weighed myself yesterday and I am at about 156, about a three pound gain in the last couple months.
Hmmm I remember when you were 147 or something close to that. Are you getting Faaaaaat? ;D Don't feel bad hon, I'm up 20 lbs from last year at this time, must be because I tend to be a foodie.
I'm wishing I bought some electronic Hulk gloves back when they were in stores. I'm sort of a nerd...
Quote from: Shantel on May 22, 2014, 05:43:45 PM
Hmmm I remember when you were 147 or something close to that. Are you getting Faaaaaat? ;D Don't feel bad hon, I'm up 20 lbs from last year at this time, must be because I tend to be a foodie.
That was probably about a year ago. I was probably in my high 130's when I started posting here a bit over two years ago. I actually like my current weight, I've never weighed more, but I did weigh about the same as I do now back in '06. If it weren't for my fast metabolism, I'd likely weigh a lot more considering my diet.
I just threw out a lot of stuff from when I was with my ex. I'm keeping certain things, like things that are associated with particularly fond memories, but a bunch is going in the trash. I feel guilty in a way, because she keeps EVERYTHING and would feel bad if she knew I threw some things away. But it had to be done. :( I have too much stuff and can't store it properly.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 22, 2014, 06:01:54 PM
That was probably about a year ago. I was probably in my high 130's when I started posting here a bit over two years ago. I actually like my current weight, I've never weighed more, but I did weigh about the same as I do now back in '06. If it weren't for my fast metabolism, I'd likely weigh a lot more considering my diet.
Yeah you always look so nice, I'll have to admit to being a bit envious because my metabolism only operates in compound low gear.
Quote from: Shantel on May 22, 2014, 06:15:38 PM
Yeah you always look so nice, I'll have to admit to being a bit envious because my metabolism only operates in compound low gear.
Aww thanks, but currently, I'm looking a bit ragged. Still having problems ordering my hrt, so been without for about a month now, plus my hair is dire need of a cut and color, lol. But hopefully, I'll get things straightened out in the next week or two and do something about my hair. Right now, its a mix of blonde, light brown and gray, like an old stray cat or something.
I went to a new dry cleaner today and got a good look at my a$$ in a full length mirror. Hello girl butt!
I think I'd like a good spanking now.
Skirt.... too tight...can't breathe...argh! Darn Nacho Cheese Dorito's! ::)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 22, 2014, 09:04:44 PM
Skirt.... too tight...can't breathe...argh! Darn Nacho Cheese Dorito's! ::)
Bad Jessica. Step away from the carbs!
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 22, 2014, 09:04:44 PM
Skirt.... too tight...can't breathe...argh! Darn Nacho Cheese Dorito's! ::)
thinking i wish i had some
Thinking ButterflyVickster has the most adorable avatar on this site.
Quote from: Pikachu on May 22, 2014, 09:11:18 PM
Thinking ButterflyVickster has the most adorable avatar on this site.
Thinking i probably shouldnt say. I heard that twice :p (its my kitty ears not a bow)
I want to hug my teddy bears now.
Seriously, you all need to hug a bear regularly. I can't bear to sleep without mine.
Quote from: Jill F on May 22, 2014, 09:18:40 PM
I want to hug my teddy bears now.
Seriously, you all need to hug a bear regularly. I can't bear to sleep without mine.
A Bear?
Nah....
Porcupines FTW!!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FPortiaInHerNewDress.jpg&hash=bbdb2cfcc7a1335478bd7124ac72d4eda5a86d0f)
Thinking I want to start a thread for posting adorable pictures snuggling our teddy bears, but then I'd have to take one, too.
Quote from: Jill F on May 22, 2014, 09:18:40 PM
I want to hug my teddy bears now.
Seriously, you all need to hug a bear regularly. I can't bear to sleep without mine.
I prefer Dopey. Sometimes Dopey is a dwarf sometimes not
Quote from: Jill F on May 22, 2014, 09:00:48 PM
I went to a new dry cleaner today and got a good look at my a$$ in a full length mirror. Hello girl butt!
I think I'd like a good spanking now.
LOL! You got my ass, and I must have gotten your man ass. I was trying on dress pants today, which used to be the scourge of my life...my butt filled them and was like "BAM." Now, it looks like someone put a pair of pants on a 2x4!
Quote from: birkin on May 22, 2014, 09:54:54 PM
LOL! You got my ass, and I must have gotten your man ass. I was trying on dress pants today, which used to be the scourge of my life...my butt filled them and was like "BAM." Now, it looks like someone put a pair of pants on a 2x4!
Maybe both of us need spankings...
Quote from: Jill F on May 23, 2014, 01:15:46 AMMaybe both of us need spankings...
It'd be nice to be included in this...
Quote from: Lauren5 on May 23, 2014, 01:21:58 AM
Quote from: Jill F on May 23, 2014, 01:15:46 AMMaybe both of us need spankings...
It'd be nice to be included in this...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk%2Fi%2Fkeep-calm-and-prepare-for-a-spanking.png&hash=a23576a6b828944aa772f5a0baefa77beb3c3277)
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 23, 2014, 01:40:37 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk%2Fi%2Fkeep-calm-and-prepare-for-a-spanking.png&hash=a23576a6b828944aa772f5a0baefa77beb3c3277)
Yes Ma'am
If I ever going to get paid by my boss, I'm investing my first paycheck into getting the letters on my laptop fixed, or just a new laptop. As much as I want to just deposit it into my top surgery fund, the on-screen keypad is really taking a toll on my fingers.
I'm thinking of buying myself a pair of Soaps.
Quote from: Malachite on May 23, 2014, 02:10:48 AMIf I ever going to get paid by my boss, I'm investing my first paycheck into getting the letters on my laptop fixed, or just a new laptop. As much as I want to just deposit it into my top surgery fund, the on-screen keypad is really taking a toll on my fingers.
I've a suggestion for a pretty cheap but good laptop. (http://www.amazon.com/Transformer-T100TA-C1-GR-Detachable-Touchscreen-Laptop/dp/B00FFJ0HUE)
Having the full Windows 8.1 OS and free MS Office is really nice too.
Only thing I'm not too fond about is lack of a backlit keyboard and a built in digitizer so you can use it with a pen. I don't think that should be too much of an issue for you though, maybe, maybe not.
Quote from: Lauren5 on May 23, 2014, 02:22:44 AM
I've a suggestion for a pretty cheap but good laptop. (http://www.amazon.com/Transformer-T100TA-C1-GR-Detachable-Touchscreen-Laptop/dp/B00FFJ0HUE)
Having the full Windows 8.1 OS and free MS Office is really nice too.
Only thing I'm not too fond about is lack of a backlit keyboard and a built in digitizer so you can use it with a pen. I don't think that should be too much of an issue for you though, maybe, maybe not.
Thanks for the suggestion! There's a part of me that hopes this one can be fix since I don't like change and this is my first laptop. It's my baby, lol.
Quote from: Malachite on May 23, 2014, 02:36:29 AMThanks for the suggestion! There's a part of me that hopes this one can be fix since I don't like change and this is my first laptop. It's my baby, lol.
I'm on #3. Hughe tech upgrades each time, then again, my first one was a hand-me-down, my second was the cheapest one with a core processor I could find at the time, and this one I actually put a lot of thought (and my own components) into.
Five days till Sonisphere Finland and Metallica's concert. @_@
...Holy poop on a stick.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 22, 2014, 09:04:44 PM
Skirt.... too tight...can't breathe...argh! Darn Nacho Cheese Dorito's! ::)
You need to find a way of working them off ;D
Flirting with a hot guy.
That's really fun, put the large majority of my troubles at ease, at least for a while.
Signals that I need to find a boyfriend maybe?
Quote from: Lauren5 on May 23, 2014, 07:40:51 AM
Flirting with a hot guy.
That's really fun, put the large majority of my troubles at ease, at least for a while.
Signals that I need to find a boyfriend maybe?
YES, but then again I personally think flirting is always fun
i'm honestly thinking those light beings are trying to test my patience. the only way i can get my pills now is if my doc can get into contact with my endo and have her send the order to my pharmacy. blah! i'm already showing signs of stage 2. progressing faster than i expected.
I'm beginning to feel almost compulsive about this thread. I have to read through everything from when I was last here.
And.. I sleep with a manatee
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F510Vwg4rLbL.jpg&hash=f7f21c245dc2b80de44fff8ddaedcdd602d790a0)
oh. I know what I originally planned to say. I wish there was a like this button. I know there's the positive reputation but that doesn't seem quite the same. just something to push when someone post something cute, funny or things like that.
When two consenting adults who both want it have sex, regardless of what they're doing or the gender/gender identity of any involved, there is no victim. When a woman of any type poses nude, shoots a porno etc because she *wants* to, she is not a victim. Feminism means telling a woman she can be worth more than her body, not telling her she doesn't have one or should appeal to a puritanical standard of decency. Feminism means believing a woman IS a victim when she says she is...but also believing she is NOT when she says she isn't.
Let's stop shaming trans women, Asian, Black women, chubby women, older women etc. Let's shame rapists and sexists and allow women to celebrate their bodies-of all shapes, sizes and colors-and sexualities.
Sorry this is something I want to get out there cause I'm tired of people acting like IMA victim of my own sexuality
I Think that i should get of my butt and do somthing.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 23, 2014, 08:24:35 AMYES, but then again I personally think flirting is always fun
I thought really naughty thoughts...
It was totally appropriate given the circumstances :P
In eight hours, I had 319 customers today. That's like an average of one customer every minute and a half. My one shift total sales was about the same as the whole day for yesterday. Dang crazy people getting ready for the holiday and buying gas, cigs, drinks and snacks. I'm glad I'm off until Monday.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on May 23, 2014, 05:22:16 PM
In eight hours, I had 319 customers today. That's like an average of one customer every minute and a half. My one shift total sales was about the same as the whole day for yesterday. Dang crazy people getting ready for the holiday and buying gas, cigs, drinks and snacks. I'm glad I'm off until Monday.
Don't blame you hon, have a relaxing Memorial Day Weekend!
i think i just got rained in o.o its a torrent of water fallen from the sky plus its thundering and lightning outside. oh goodie, seriously loving it xD
It amazes me when people take credit for something that they had absolutely NOTHING to do with. I'm dying laughing at how incredibly stupid some people can be.
i'm thinking my darn coutdown timer isnt moving fast enough xD
That how stupid it is that an internet cafe is to not have skype on there pc's anyone have dynamite I can borrow this is looking a bigger job then my trusty baseball bat
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 12:53:06 AM
That how stupid it is that an internet cafe is to not have skype on there pc's anyone have dynamite I can borrow this is looking a bigger job then my trusty baseball bat
sry all out of dynamite xD but i have a rocket launcher xD
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Liliana on May 24, 2014, 12:56:14 AM
sry all out of dynamite xD but i have a rocket launcher xD
That might work >:-)
Thinking we should never ever get together the chaos we would cause would be oh so pleasent
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 01:02:53 AM
That might work >:-)
Thinking we should never ever get together the chaos we would cause would be oh so pleasent
>:-) hehehe, oh how sweet it would be. WORLD DOMINATION!
Dynamite is awesome fun! But, I'm not too sure it is something that can be borrowed lol. Kinda like everyone asks to "borrow" a cigarette, so you men I get I back when you're done!? Not poking fun, I just find irony hearing borrow used that way all the time. Can I borrow a piece of paper? I've heard borrow used for things like condom and tampon.
Sorry... This thread is "what are you think right" well I'm thinking of all the things I have given people that I wouldn't want back! :)
i'm thinking i need sleep now. lol long day of reaping souls
But Michaela I would give it back. It just would not be in its original condition
Aaah, thank you. Safer to carry in your purse after its been used I guess. And lighter weight too!
just go the old fashion way, eradication beams xD
Thinking that next time I come to this cafe I'm bringing a magnet
I'm thinking I should go to bed. And trying to decide what to do about that thought. Also, I am thirsty.
Quote from: christopher on May 24, 2014, 01:47:05 AM
I'm thinking I should go to bed. And trying to decide what to do about that thought. Also, I am thirsty.
Sleep :P
Have a drink :P :P
Not necessarily in that order
What to wear. It is only 45F outside now but will 75F soon. Shorts now and freeze a while or sweats and roast later.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 24, 2014, 08:27:59 AM
What to wear. It is only 45F outside now but will 75F soon. Shorts now and freeze a while or sweats and roast later.
Put sweats on over shorts, then shed sweats to reveal shorts when it warms up?
About to go to my job. It's Saturday plus a holiday weekend so it's going to be packed. I'm so glad I get to work in the playhouse for the last hour of my shift, but the other 4 hours and 30 minutes are going to be hell working that stupid bungee.
I'm a little happier than I was this morning. talked to a really nice person. And get to go out to eat tonight since my brother and his gf are in town this weekend.
And my headache is about gone after taking a few aspirin. Just wonder if that expiration date on the bottle really means anything though. The ones I'm using are about 5 years out of date, but hey, they still seem to work ok.
Quote from: Jaime R D aka big head horsey-face on May 24, 2014, 09:59:27 AM
I'm a little happier than I was this morning. talked to a really nice person. And get to go out to eat tonight since my brother and his gf are in town this weekend.
And my headache is about gone after taking a few aspirin. Just wonder if that expiration date on the bottle really means anything though. The ones I'm using are about 5 years out of date, but hey, they still seem to work ok.
They should be fine. I talked to a pharmacist about that and she said as long as they are kept in a dry place they should be fine for years. Got about 90 Oxycodone pills I refused to take, but am keeping them in case of some future emergency when there's no emergency medical help available.
hello shantel how are you?
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 01:49:55 AM
Sleep :P
Have a drink :P :P
Not necessarily in that order
hahaha. I did both. Thank you.
I am having sooooo much better of a morning than yesterday. :)
i'm thinking i feel groggy. ugh! where is my bed! i wanna go back to sleep
helllllllllllllllllloooooooooo darling Brianna
Good night til it be morrow
Quote from: christopher on May 24, 2014, 11:10:00 AM
helllllllllllllllllloooooooooo darling Brianna
*waves* hey hey ^-^ i thinking i might just hit the floor. my body is going numb. blah, wish i woke up monday lol
goodnight LordKat
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Liliana on May 24, 2014, 11:17:02 AM
*waves* hey hey ^-^ i thinking i might just hit the floor. my body is going numb. blah, wish i woke up monday lol
awww, have a good sleep
Oh how i feel out of place. I had to dress in a male attire for a party boat ride my mother forced me to go on ._. Not only am i dressed as a male and not in neutral clothes, there isnt a single person here close to my age. :'(
At least you're on the water. Did we remember to pack our scythe for the people that are umm 'deserving'
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 07:38:09 PM
At least you're on the water. Did we remember to pack our scythe for the people that are umm 'deserving'
I never go anywhere without my scythe and my soul lantern xD there are some tasty souls here
I sort of want to cut my hands off...
Quote from: TheQuestion on May 24, 2014, 08:04:14 PM
I sort of want to cut my hands off...
Don't, they'll come in handy! ;D
Quote from: Shantel on May 24, 2014, 08:05:32 PM
Don't, they'll come in handy! ;D
gotta hand it to you, that was good...
Quote from: TheQuestion on May 24, 2014, 08:04:14 PM
I sort of want to cut my hands off...
Well then light it up
I'm thinking my body is against me. I have a choice between taking pain killers hobble and be dopey for the rest of the day or get around with a walking stick. Shupid lower body
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 08:10:51 PM
Very punny you two
A little humor helps when we're fussing about stuff we have no control over.
True. At times I have wanted to chop of my ankles but I am keeping kind of attached to them.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 08:20:07 PM
True. At times I have wanted to chop of my ankles but I am keeping kind of attached to them.
Do they work ok? Mine are fused and hardly move, we can chop mine off and I probably wouldn't even feel it. Try and visualize two reversed barrel staves, that's how flat my feet are, no arches whatsoever, I think my ankle bones touch the ground when I walk. Don't feel sorry for yourself when it comes to ankles because your singing to the choir here.
Quote from: Shantel on May 24, 2014, 08:24:44 PM
Do they work ok? Mine are fused and hardly move, we can chop mine off and I probably wouldn't even feel it. Try and visualize two reversed barrel staves, that's how flat my feet are, no arches whatsoever, I think my ankle bones touch the ground when I walk. Don't feel sorry for yourself when it comes to ankles because your singing to the choir here.
Oh, well let me tell you, I have painfully high arches and after a while they hurt like hell...
Quote from: TheQuestion on May 24, 2014, 08:45:31 PM
Oh, well let me tell you, I have painfully high arches and after a while they hurt like hell...
Maybe we can meet somewhere in between. I used to have pretty good arches, but a couple of enlistments in the paratrops when I was young and stupid took the spring out of them for good.
Quote from: Shantel on May 24, 2014, 08:48:59 PM
Maybe we can meet somewhere in between. I used to have pretty good arches, but a couple of enlistments in the paratrops when I was young and stupid took the spring out of them for good.
deal
You can never complain someone always has it worse then you. For me its seems to run in the family everyone has at least a dodgy hip, knees or ankles. My sister and I have all three we have good days and days where our bodies are held together by spit grit and duct tape. Hasn't stopped us much from doing what we want to do, but one must be allowed a wine now and again.
Saw all these signs saying Bill Posters will be prosecuted. Thinking who is this person and what has he done wrong
Quote from: Shantel on May 24, 2014, 08:48:59 PM
Maybe we can meet somewhere in between. I used to have pretty good arches, but a couple of enlistments in the paratrops when I was young and stupid took the spring out of them for good.
Young and stupid is that not a bit of an oxymoron? (Sorry very proud of those that served just a comment on today's of the teenagers of today)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 09:10:26 PM
You can never complain someone always has it worse then you. For me its seems to run in the family everyone has at least a dodgy hip, knees or ankles. My sister and I have all three we have good days and days where our bodies are held together by spit grit and duct tape. Hasn't stopped us much from doing what we want to do, but one must be allowed a wine now and again.
Saw all these signs saying Bill Posters will be prosecuted. Thinking who is this person and what has he done wrong
Sorry to hear that Gypse, but good for you on keeping positive. lol, if it makes you feel any better, I can't really see out of my right eye...
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 09:13:50 PM
Young and stupid is that not a bit of an oxymoron? (Sorry very proud of those that served just a comment on today's of the teenagers of today)
No honey, just a little self deprication to keep myself humble in my own mind.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 09:10:26 PM
You can never complain someone always has it worse then you. For me its seems to run in the family everyone has at least a dodgy hip, knees or ankles. My sister and I have all three we have good days and days where our bodies are held together by spit grit and duct tape. Hasn't stopped us much from doing what we want to do, but one must be allowed a wine now and again.
Saw all these signs saying Bill Posters will be prosecuted. Thinking who is this person and what has he done wrong
Seems to be working for you baby doll, I know about your seizures though, not fun and my heart goes out to you on that score.
I just want this movie to be overrrrrrr. (not one I'm watching. One I'm working on)
Really... I just want this quarter to be over. 6 more days.
Quote from: TheQuestion on May 24, 2014, 09:22:10 PM
Sorry to hear that Gypse, but good for you on keeping positive. lol, if it makes you feel any better, I can't really see out of my right eye...
Sounds like we're doing a little one-upmanship on who is the biggest wreck, well kids I'm older than dirt, will be 71 Aug 3rd, have macular degeneration, a hole in my right eye vision, cataracts and deaf as a clam without my hearing aids, so yeaaaaa I win! ;D
I need a new soul lantern xD mines is full.
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Liliana on May 24, 2014, 09:51:23 PM
I need a new soul lantern xD mines is full.
Well buy one dear liza, dear liza, dear liza
Buy one
I'm glad I don't have to work tomorrow, especially since my period is on and tomorrow will be the second day, which is the worst for me.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 10:18:36 PM
Well buy one dear liza, dear liza, dear liza
Buy one
I cant simple by one my dear. Literally killed me trying to get the materials needed xD
Quote from: TheQuestion on May 24, 2014, 09:22:10 PM
Sorry to hear that Gypse, but good for you on keeping positive. lol, if it makes you feel any better, I can't really see out of my right eye...
Quote from: Shantel on May 24, 2014, 09:44:05 PM
Sounds like we're doing a little one-upmanship on who is the biggest wreck, well kids I'm older than dirt, will be 71 Aug 3rd, have macular degeneration, a hole in my right eye vision, cataracts and deaf as a clam without my hearing aids, so yeaaaaa I win! ;D
Well I'll lay may cards on the table and go all in with the one up-manship, or one up-womanship and just show how positive I can be at times. None of us can truly complain because we are all here and not grinning at the lid
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 24, 2014, 10:27:15 PM
Well I'll lay may cards on the table and go all in with the one up-manship, or one up-womanship and just show how positive I can be at times. None of us can truly complain because we are all here and not grinning at the lid
LMAO, great reply and so true!
Haha the "well buy one dear Liza" brought back some memories...learned to play that on my recorder in school.
I need to buy some new shorts...I only had one pair and they finally gave up the ghost and wore out in the crotch. :( I don't have the money but it's so hot, jeans aren't an option.
Quote from: birkin on May 24, 2014, 10:32:02 PM
Haha the "well buy one dear Liza" brought back some memories...learned to play that on my recorder in school.
I need to buy some new shorts...I only had one pair and they finally gave up the ghost and wore out in the crotch. :( I don't have the money but it's so hot, jeans aren't an option.
I like your new avatar, anyone we know?
No, it looks very similar to my hamster that died a few years back though. I still miss him, lol.
I found a job that I'm 100% qualified for, so I'll send in an application tomorrow. Usually the ones I apply to I have *most* of the many qualifications, but not all...I guess this will be less of a problem when I have more jobs under my belt that aren't customer service.
Quote from: birkin on May 24, 2014, 10:44:23 PM
No, it looks very similar to my hamster that died a few years back though. I still miss him, lol.
I found a job that I'm 100% qualified for, so I'll send in an application tomorrow. Usually the ones I apply to I have *most* of the many qualifications, but not all...I guess this will be less of a problem when I have more jobs under my belt that aren't customer service.
Good luck hon, I wish you the best with that!
Thanks Auntie Shan. I'm getting pretty bummed out about the job and money, I can't afford rent let alone a pair of new shorts. I keep telling myself something's gotta show up soon!
Quote from: birkin on May 24, 2014, 10:51:15 PM
Thanks Auntie Shan. I'm getting pretty bummed out about the job and money, I can't afford rent let alone a pair of new shorts. I keep telling myself something's gotta show up soon!
Hopefully this is it, sounds good too, keep us posted!
I'm pondering if I should write my personal commentary in my blog about the videos Elliot Rodgers did before he committed that horrible crime. I have a lot of feelings about this topic, though many of them I should keep to myself, but there are some that I would like to get out.
Quote from: Malachite on May 24, 2014, 11:51:17 PM
I'm pondering if I should write my personal commentary in my blog about the videos Elliot Rodgers did before he committed that horrible crime. I have a lot of feelings about this topic, though many of them I should keep to myself, but there are some that I would like to get out.
That guy had some serious mental health issues, lathered with a massive dose of misogyny... :(
on a ligher note, I am having a wild and crazy night. I had a corona light and now I'm drinking a strawberry dacquiri. this is a lot of alcohol for me. enough that I feel fuzzy... internally, unfortunately externally I'm not fuzzy yet. I don't even have armpit hair. It just never grew. As a woman, that made me lucky. As a man, it makes me... hmm... welll I dont know where arm pit ranks in the world of manhood. As you can see, the extensive amount of drinking I've been doing has made me talkative. I really would like to be fuzzy... on the outside. I don't want a hairy back though. umm.. I'm still rambling.
I will go to bed. that way you'll be spared from anymore of my deep philisophical thoughts.
that is all
I feel a headache coming on
i'm thinking i may need to find a new endo unless my pcp can get in contact with my current one .-. dont think i can wait an entire month just for my pills
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Liliana on May 25, 2014, 01:04:56 AM
i'm thinking i may need to find a new endo unless my pcp can get in contact with my current one .-. dont think i can wait an entire month just for my pills
Why do you need to wait for an entire month. I was under the impression it was happening this week
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 25, 2014, 01:23:05 AM
Why do you need to wait for an entire month. I was under the impression it was happening this week
i was to until my pcp dropped the bomb on me lol. he should of called my endo and asked her than called me to tell me that my endo said yes but needed my letter, but no, no call was done. i'll see what happens this week but hell, i aint waiting a month
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 25, 2014, 12:04:56 AM
That guy had some serious mental health issues, lathered with a massive dose of misogyny... :(
What makes me angry is that law enforcement and Youtube practically ignored the *multiple* warning signs, ending with so many lives being lost. I honestly don't know how they can sleep at night after this. Unfortunately, probably very well. :/
Quote from: Malachite on May 25, 2014, 01:24:10 AM
What makes me angry is that law enforcement and Youtube practically ignored the *multiple* warning signs, ending with so many lives being lost. I honestly don't know how they can sleep at night after this. Unfortunately, probably very well. :/
You don't know how you will sleep because you are a caring person and have a heart. You will sleep very well because you're tired and your body needs rest
I'm tempted to adopt a couple kittens, but am poor and have a tiny apartment, so it's probably not a good idea. *sigh*
Quote from: Edge on May 25, 2014, 01:27:49 PM
I'm tempted to adopt a couple kittens, but am poor and have a tiny apartment, so it's probably not a good idea. *sigh*
*pokes edge* tehehehehe
Hi Brianna.
Quote from: Edge on May 25, 2014, 01:48:26 PM
Hi Brianna.
*waves* darn, you caught me xD *giggles* :laugh:
That 4am is way way too early to wake up to get ready for work
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 25, 2014, 03:40:03 PM
That 4am is way way too early to wake up to get ready for work
I wish I could sleep that late on workdays.
Quote from: Jaime R D aka big head horsey-face on May 25, 2014, 03:44:19 PM
I wish I could sleep that late on workdays.
Now I'm curious. What time do you wake up on a work day?
My alarm is set for 3:15, but I usually wake up a little before that. I have to be at work a little after 4:30 so that I can get stuff ready, count money, do the reports, check fuel levels and be ready to open at 6.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 25, 2014, 03:40:03 PM
That 4am is way way too early to wake up to get ready for work
Agreed 4 pm is much better.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 25, 2014, 04:00:47 PM
Agreed 4 pm is much better.
I don't work night shifts anymore
Quote from: Jaime R D aka big head horsey-face on May 25, 2014, 03:53:44 PM
My alarm is set for 3:15, but I usually wake up a little before that. I have to be at work a little after 4:30 so that I can get stuff ready, count money, do the reports, check fuel levels and be ready to open at 6.
Thinking civilisation would crumble if people like Jaime wouldn't be prepared to get up and start work at those lovley hours of the morning
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Liliana on May 25, 2014, 02:05:32 PM
*waves* darn, you caught me xD *giggles* :laugh:
I really like your avatar.
Quote from: Edge on May 25, 2014, 04:56:34 PM
I really like your avatar.
its cute right! xD its a reaper with a blue flame soul cage but with kitsune ears xD the soul cage though has an ice fairy in it xD
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Liliana on May 25, 2014, 05:00:49 PM
its cute right! xD its a reaper with a blue flame soul cage but with kitsune ears xD the soul cage though is an ice fairy xD
Heh. This may amuse you: my mom is a reaper. Sort of. She works in palliative care and... that joke is probably funnier if you know what my last name is. Never mind.
I'm a bit of a vampiric KAT. I only work nights.
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Liliana on May 25, 2014, 05:00:49 PM
its cute right! xD its a reaper with a blue flame soul cage but with kitsune ears xD the soul cage though has an ice fairy in it xD
I should of clicked the shape shifting fox diety from Japan very you Brianna
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 25, 2014, 05:21:54 PM
I should of clicked the shape shifting fox diety from Japan very you Brianna
xD yes, i'm a reaper fox deity xD though those darn holy creatures stole my ninth tail xD
I found the perfect avatar and the plus is that it really does look just like me.
I'm finally about to start reading Koffi Annan's memoirs tonight (it's been collecting dust for too long); however, as I glance at the cover, I can't help but think how much he looks like Morgan Freeman. I know this is probably the dumbest reaction I could have to it, but seriously they need to make a movie with Morgan Freeman playing him. Okay, that's my serious intellectual contribution to society for today, lol.
i'm trying to think why have i become so dark. i was once a sweet little fairy, now i'm a demon reaper. hmm, i like it but wonder where it came from
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Lilth on May 25, 2014, 08:09:19 PM
i'm trying to think why have i become so dark. i was once a sweet little fairy, now i'm a demon reaper. hmm, i like it but wonder where it came from
Most likely due to the waiting for the hrt you so desperately need. Is it wrong I'm finding your avatars get even more cute the darker you get
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 25, 2014, 08:21:44 PM
Most likely due to the waiting for the hrt you so desperately need. Is it wrong I'm finding your avatars get even more cute the darker you get
xD no it isnt wrong. maybe or maybe thats just my personality showing through. i bet you hrt will make me even more evil xD
Quote from: Brianna Umiko Lilth on May 25, 2014, 08:09:19 PM
i'm trying to think why have i become so dark. i was once a sweet little fairy, now i'm a demon reaper. hmm, i like it but wonder where it came from
As a life long faerie fan, let me take this moment to introduce you to some of my favourite faeries:
The Nuckleavee is a water faerie that is responsible for epidemics, ruined crops, sickened livestock, and droughts. He looks kind of like a centaur, but much more gruesome. He has no skin, black blood, and yellow veins. He has a huge, gaping mouth and a giant, burning eye.
There are also, of course, various other water faeries know for tricking people and dragging them down beneath the water to drown and/or eat them.
You may have heard of Redcaps who murder travellers and dye their hats with the victims' blood.
Jack-in-Irons wears the heads of his victims.
Black Annis is a blue-face, clawed hag that likes to eat people, especially children.
As a fan of reapers, I'm sure you know of the close link between faeries and the dead in folklore. You've also probably heard of the Wild Hunt.
There are many, many more like that.
think i might name myself Brianna Eris lilth. eris the mythological goddes of discord and destruction and lilth the demon goddess of antiquity xD
What about the Far darrig, believed to be associated with nightmares and changelings. Or the banshee the celtic fairy women who's song is considered an omen of death
Or the Fear Dubh and the bean nighe. :) I like you.
i need a soild vampire name lol. imma go online and by my fangs and vampire garb but i need a soild name to match
I started watching Game of Thrones and really like the white walkers, but now I feel very dysphoric.
I used to feel connected to water. These past few years, that changed to ice. I wonder why that is.
I read game of thrones when it first came out years ago. The first one and I can't remember it at all. Oh the joys of dissociation.
hmm... I may need to pee
I have an excessive amount of pants I need hemmed. I think I may have to learn to do it on my own. They were free, so maybe it's worth a try. But then I need money for a sewing machine. lol.
Thinking i miss downy.
But not miss, continaly reminding my self its a shot from a film, each time "oh this person looks like downy" jumps into my head.
I would be lost without my furry family members. Good times tonight.
Quote from: birkin on May 25, 2014, 11:46:26 PM
I have an excessive amount of pants I need hemmed. I think I may have to learn to do it on my own. They were free, so maybe it's worth a try. But then I need money for a sewing machine. lol.
Same here. And then, if I get a sewing machine where do I store it?
Furry family friends? Those ones that care for us when where down or that cute sea cow you showed earlier. (No I am not going to attempt to spell what it is actually called)
Quote from: Brianna Terryal Onyx on May 25, 2014, 08:28:20 PM
xD no it isnt wrong. maybe or maybe thats just my personality showing through. i bet you hrt will make me even more evil xD
Learn to embrace the darkness let it cloak you and feed your soul. Why should the good people have all the fun
All jokes aside I have found myself more open. So I am turning more into my sister explosive temper and all. Mine can be bad enough as it is
I shouldn't be watching Alien by myself
Would it help if I put on a copy of alien as well
I use to like scary movies, another affect of HRT?
I need himself to cuddle (feeling sooky) :)
Don't say that I would have to sell over half my collection. .. Thou I do need more boots.
Just put the dvd in the freezer and it will make it all better
i'm thinking i solified my name xD its pretty unisex except my first name Brianna xD
Good morning Brianna Terryal Onyx . Please tell us how you choose this name
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 26, 2014, 08:46:32 AM
Good morning Brianna Terryal Onyx . Please tell us how you choose this name
brianna was my old name from when i was a kid and it was also a dear friend's name, terryal means reaper and onyx is a pitch black stone lol. you know the balcoin family from the show the secret circle? i'm literally one of them in all possible ways lol
Brianna the dark reaper. >:-)
Time for this gypsy girl to go to bed. I do not fear the creature under my bed. But I know if I stay under my covers it will not reach up and grab my ankles
Don't say that, I'm half way and the creatures are attacking, can't watch.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 26, 2014, 04:40:46 AM
Furry family friends? Those ones that care for us when where down or that cute sea cow you showed earlier. (No I am not going to attempt to spell what it is actually called)
the dogs and cats that share my living space
And you remembered me and my manatee :D
I could always watch scary movies.....as long as I didn't have to put my feet on the floor. (sometimes for an hour afterwards, or more.)
Quote from: LordKAT on May 26, 2014, 07:00:33 PM
I could always watch scary movies.....as long as I didn't have to put my feet on the floor. (sometimes for an hour afterwards, or more.)
Do you look under your bed before going to sleep? I solved that problem by getting a platform bed with drawers, no more tumbleweed dust under there either.
I'm thinking that my wife and I must share a brain hemisphere. We think the same thoughts, say exactly what's on each others' minds, finish each others' sentences, have the same food cravings, and today we had the same song stuck in our heads at the same time- twice.
Scary.
Quote from: Shantel on May 26, 2014, 07:05:21 PM
Do you look under your bed before going to sleep? I solved that problem by getting a platform bed with drawers, no more tumbleweed dust under there either.
Nope, the monster under the bed is welcome to stay there and eat all the dust bunnies it wants.
Jill, it sounds like your wife is your perfect match.
surprising, i didnt feel like reaping souls today
I'm thinking about jötnar, ice, the sea, Jörmungadr, liminality, forests, pirates, and paganism.
I'm also thinking of myself and how I see myself.
you can reap mine if you want
Quote from: christopher on May 26, 2014, 08:05:19 PM
you can reap mine if you want
not in the mood unfortunately. i'm just starting at my scythe in the corner of my cell. i kinda of feel..........sad :o, how unfitting and unreal
Quote from: Cindy on May 26, 2014, 09:10:57 AM
Don't say that, I'm half way and the creatures are attacking, can't watch.
Because I'm such a nice (huh) person. I stayed up a finished the movie for you (just). Now Dopey is Grumpy I used him for a pillow I'm at work Sleepy. already been Bashful today and will probably become Happy if I can manage to wake up today.
I think given time and some help (hint,hint) Doc and Sneezy could make an apperance somewhere
should i switch from my reaper's scythe to my sword or daggers?
Why not both.
Holding something large sharp and pointy with a wild grin on your face will make people stop for a moment then run away. and a dagger or two for that 'personal' touch
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 26, 2014, 09:16:44 PM
Why not both.
Holding something large sharp and pointy with a wild grin on your face will make people stop for a moment then run away. and a dagger or two for that 'personal' touch
but them running makes my job 2x as hard. its boring and i like playing with my food before i slay them. them running is just making me have to run after them, but i do like a good game of cat and mouse
Much better to be the KAT.
If it's a weapon you want, go for the sword and daggers. Scythes are farming implements and make impractical weapons.
Quote from: Edge on May 26, 2014, 09:36:17 PM
If it's a weapon you want, go for the sword and daggers. Scythes are farming implements and make impractical weapons.
mines is duel bladed. on side is shorter but the other is 2x the normal length. i usually use that scythe when i get serious and a soul is a bit stronger than usual due to inhabiting one of the 7 sins. these souls make my job interesting though cuz i can cut and slash at their souls over and over again
Thinking I'd give anything right now to just have a friend here to hold me as I cry and tell me everything's going to be okay... :'(
Quote from: Pikachu on May 26, 2014, 09:40:30 PM
Thinking I'd give anything right now to just have a friend here to hold me as I cry and tell me everything's going to be okay... :'(
I loved Pokémon and yeah, I know what you mean...
Quote from: Pikachu on May 26, 2014, 09:40:30 PM
Thinking I'd give anything right now to just have a friend here to hold me as I cry and tell me everything's going to be okay... :'(
I know it is not the same but will a virtual hug do?
I sat in my bed and cried over not getting that job. :( This one definitely hurt the most. I spent 4 or 5 hours redoing my resume and cover letter, studying the job itself, making sure it was perfect, only to not even end up with an interview.
Now I'm really not sure what to do. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to find out for sure if I have carpal tunnel, though it's pretty likely. That's not good, because if I have to take a manual job (i.e., cashier) my wrists could end up permanently damaged. So much for admin and manufacturing jobs too, as those would be too hard on the wrists. I'm only controlling my computer through voice control right now, and minimal typing and clicking. If I typed this post by hand, my hand would be on fire right now.
Quote from: birkin on May 26, 2014, 10:10:16 PM
I sat in my bed and cried over not getting that job. :( This one definitely hurt the most. I spent 4 or 5 hours redoing my resume and cover letter, studying the job itself, making sure it was perfect, only to not even end up with an interview.
Now I'm really not sure what to do. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to find out for sure if I have carpal tunnel, though it's pretty likely. That's not good, because if I have to take a manual job (i.e., cashier) my wrists could end up permanently damaged. So much for admin and manufacturing jobs too, as those would be too hard on the wrists. I'm only controlling my computer through voice control right now, and minimal typing and clicking. If I typed this post by hand, my hand would be on fire right now.
i find that my interviewers wont hire me is because i was in a state of self doubt. highly agitating really
Quote from: birkin on May 26, 2014, 10:10:16 PM
I sat in my bed and cried over not getting that job. :( This one definitely hurt the most. I spent 4 or 5 hours redoing my resume and cover letter, studying the job itself, making sure it was perfect, only to not even end up with an interview.
Now I'm really not sure what to do. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to find out for sure if I have carpal tunnel, though it's pretty likely. That's not good, because if I have to take a manual job (i.e., cashier) my wrists could end up permanently damaged. So much for admin and manufacturing jobs too, as those would be too hard on the wrists. I'm only controlling my computer through voice control right now, and minimal typing and clicking. If I typed this post by hand, my hand would be on fire right now.
I'm thinking this reminds me that I should really see if I have early osteoarthritis, which also seems likely. I'm also thinking I should ask you what your favorite Resident Evil game is after noticing your username and sig. Mine are the REmake of the original and RE2. Great games...most of them that is.
and I'm sorry to hear that, looking for a job sucks...
i'm thinking i cant find a perfect profile pic to match me lol
Quote from: Brianna Terryal Onyx on May 26, 2014, 10:18:06 PM
i find that my interviewers wont hire me is because i was in a state of self doubt. highly agitating really
I wish I could even get an interview. :(
Quote from: TheQuestion on May 26, 2014, 10:18:53 PM
I'm thinking this reminds me that I should really see if I have early osteoarthritis, which also seems likely. I'm also thinking I should ask you what your favorite Resident Evil game is after noticing your username and sig. Mine are the REmake of the original and RE2. Great games...most of them that is.
My favourite is 4, 5 is a close second. What's yours?
Quote from: birkin on May 26, 2014, 10:26:56 PM
I wish I could even get an interview. :(
My favourite is 4, 5 is a close second. What's yours?
The Gamecube remake of the original and Resident Evil 2
I'm thinking stuff I want to talk about, but I have no one to talk to and I can't find the words.
Quote from: Edge on May 26, 2014, 10:52:55 PM
I'm thinking stuff I want to talk about, but I have no one to talk to and I can't find the words.
aww, you can always talk to me onii-chan lol. i'm a pretty good listener though i may not know what to say to make you feel better
I don't feel bad necessarily aside from some dysphoria.
Quote from: Edge on May 26, 2014, 10:56:06 PM
I don't feel bad necessarily aside from some dysphoria.
thats the monster that cant seem to be put down lol. i'm dealing with dysphoria to but its fairly minimal compared to normal. maybe becuz its my upcoming appointment for hormones. idk but whatever it is, i hope it keeps up.
I have two types of dysphoria. It's not as bad as it was when I was younger.
Quote from: Pikachu on May 26, 2014, 09:40:30 PM
Thinking I'd give anything right now to just have a friend here to hold me as I cry and tell me everything's going to be okay... :'(
Everything's going to be okay
Hugs
Quote from: V M on May 27, 2014, 02:00:13 AM
Everything's going to be okay
Hugs
Thank you. You might not understand why Im thanking you, But im sure Pikachu does :)
"Is it weird that in 13 months of HRT I haven't ever had a migraine? And neither hot flashes"
That's what I was thinking. I though at least the migraines would be something normal for a woman, but... Nothing.
i'm thinking i might lose my head. found out i have to go see my endo. well at least it will be faster
The best ever fireworks display!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/_LpMB1OZ53g?feature=player_detailpage%22%20frameborder=%220%22%20allowfullscreen%3e%3c/iframe%3e&autoplay=1
My father may act like he's all hard and doesn't mind being alone and prefers it after his girlfriend of 6 year and him split up, but deep down I think he doesn't want to be alone. I'm not going to spend over 5 grand in decorating my house just to "not mind being alone" like him. To be honest I don't think he could cope without a woman, even if it was just for sex.
I guess the people doesn't fall far from the tree, but at least I'm honest in my desire for companionship.
i've gotten to the point where i'm thinking does the pro's outweigh the cons becuz all i'm getting is heartache, gatekeeping and just absolute mental draining. wish i had a teddy bear to cry into until i fall asleep :( god how i hate being alone sometimes
I'm thinking about strength.
Quote from: Edge on May 27, 2014, 04:17:09 PM
I'm thinking about strength.
when you get it, sends some my way because my soul is on the verge of breaking. cant even do my work properly :(
Quote from: Brianna Terryal Onyx on May 27, 2014, 04:20:13 PM
when you get it, sends some my way because my soul is on the verge of breaking. cant even do my work properly :(
I have it in spades. Unfortunately, I can't give it to others unless you happen to find other people's strength inspiring.
I was planning a whole thing that I was going to write down when I got home and now I forget it all and my brain feels like mush.
Quote from: Edge on May 27, 2014, 04:25:58 PM
I have it in spades. Unfortunately, I can't give it to others unless you happen to find other people's strength inspiring.
I was planning a whole thing that I was going to write down when I got home and now I forget it all and my brain feels like mush.
meanie xD lol. i'll just figure something out. i guess eat myself into a coma.
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a maze and don't know how to escape. All I know is that I will search for an out over and over again only to end up exactly where I started in the beginning. It's a cycle that I don't see myself beating anytime soon. But honestly, it doesn't even matter because the maze is all I really have.
Quote from: Brianna Terryal Onyx on May 27, 2014, 04:30:46 PM
meanie xD lol. i'll just figure something out. i guess eat myself into a coma.
I'm not mean because of something I have no control over, but if you want me to, I can show you what mean really looks like.
Instead, I'll share inspiring music. STAND UP AND FIGHT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7woW7DmnR0E (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7woW7DmnR0E)
Quote from: learningtolive on May 27, 2014, 04:34:30 PM
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a maze and don't know how to escape. All I know is that I will search for an out over and over again only to end up exactly where I started in the beginning. It's a cycle that I don't see myself beating anytime soon. But honestly, it doesn't even matter because the maze is all I really have.
Sweetie, that may be part of the reason why you don't get out of it. Better the devil you know, as it were. The mind is a funny thing. When we have something that we know, sometimes we hold on to it because we know it. And we're scared of what comes after. So deep within the subconscious, there's a little voice saying "I don't want to get out, I like it here. I know where I am and what's what." No matter how bad something is, maybe sometimes we hold onto it because something is better than nothing. And the fear of nothing is what keeps us trapped.
Maybe a step towards freeing yourself is to try and see there's something to go
to. Something else to hold on to. To see that the maze doesn't have to be all you have.
*hugs*
I need to watch my eating habits better.......
Now I have to order a new element for the bottom of my oven. I was preheating it for some pizza and poof, lots of sparks and fizzles and smoke. It melted and burned a small hole in the bottom panel. I can patch the bottom panel for now, but got to order the element. Can't get ahead this way...
Quote from: learningtolive on May 27, 2014, 04:34:30 PM
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a maze and don't know how to escape. All I know is that I will search for an out over and over again only to end up exactly where I started in the beginning. It's a cycle that I don't see myself beating anytime soon. But honestly, it doesn't even matter because the maze is all I really have.
Welcome to life.
and there goes my control -.- time to buy a bucket of ice cream and watch reruns :'(
I have to go to work, but why? I don't want to, it is a dead end thankless job that any trained monkey can do, albeit not well. It doesn't advance anyone or anything. It is mind numbingly dull and ARRGGH!
Oops!!! Clicked wrong button
Quote from: LordKAT on May 27, 2014, 08:22:03 PM
I have to go to work, but why? I don't want to, it is a dead end thankless job that any trained monkey can do, albeit not well. It doesn't advance anyone or anything. It is mind numbingly dull and ARRGGH!
Ah c'mon KAT, being a MOD isn't that bad is it? :D
I just hope he's okay.
The mod job is great, it is the cleaning up after thoughtless people that gets to me.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 28, 2014, 06:35:11 AM
The mod job is great, it is the cleaning up after thoughtless people that gets to me.
I know what you mean man 8) I've had some crap jobs in my day too
Hugs
Quote from: V M on May 28, 2014, 07:45:57 AM
I know what you mean man 8) I've had some crap jobs in my day too
Hugs
Thanks, hugs are always welcome.
Quote from: Jaime R D on May 27, 2014, 06:42:13 PM
Now I have to order a new element for the bottom of my oven. I was preheating it for some pizza and poof, lots of sparks and fizzles and smoke. It melted and burned a small hole in the bottom panel. I can patch the bottom panel for now, but got to order the element. Can't get ahead this way...
Elemental dear girl, strictly elemental! ;D It shouldn't cost too much.
The next time I go on a church trip, I'm taking the unused cups from every one of our rooms and I'm going to give them to my mom as souviners. Who needs a stupid keychain when you can get something useful like cups? I gave her cups last time and she enjoyed them. I also gave her the key card, but she didn't enjoy that as much and more or less tossed it aside, but she used the cups!
Quote from: Malachite on May 28, 2014, 01:27:15 PM
The next time I go on a church trip, I'm taking the unused cups from every one of our rooms and I'm going to give them to my mom as souviners. Who needs a stupid keychain when you can get something useful like cups? I gave her cups last time and she enjoyed them. I also gave her the key card, but she didn't enjoy that as much and more or less tossed it aside, but she used the cups!
The must usefull thing we will ever attain is a place to store the useless things.
Seriously having nowear to put things is a nightnare. N o matter how much you tidy your left with un tidyness
Quote from: Edge on May 27, 2014, 04:52:04 PMI'm not mean because of something I have no control over, but if you want me to, I can show you what mean really looks like.
Instead, I'll share inspiring music. STAND UP AND FIGHT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7woW7DmnR0E (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7woW7DmnR0E)
W00T Turisas \m/
my whole right side looks swollen -.-
I told myself I'd go to bed at a decent time. I lied again.
I'm thinking about religion/beliefs, it's role in my life, and whether that should change.
I'm thinking making life changes in general. Eating healthier, exercising more, doing more things that interest me, getting shtuff done, learning skills I want and need to do what I want, stuff like that.
I'm thinking about my nature and how much I like it. I love being me. I wish I was more intelligent though.
I wonder why some topics get deleted while others get locked. I wonder if there is some degree of severity in a topic that it can't even be viewed in a locked state. If that is the case, then I wonder are are the lines that have to be crossed in order to have it deleted.
I'm wondering what I did wrong to miss out on an invitation to His Royal Highness King Malachite's coronation ceremony?
Mr Bungle be rockin' up in here!!
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 29, 2014, 02:21:20 AM
I'm wondering what I did wrong to miss out on an invitation to His Royal Highness King Malachite's coronation ceremony?
It was an overnight decision. I guess I should have sent out invites though, lol. :D
haha I love that you're now royalty, Malachite.
Quote from: King Malachite on May 30, 2014, 06:40:35 AM
It was an overnight decision. I guess I should have sent out invites though, lol. :D
Thank you for clearing up my misunderstanding Your Grace. Will I be expecting a invitation to your royal court in the mail?
Quote from: King Malachite on May 30, 2014, 06:40:35 AM
It was an overnight decision. I guess I should have sent out invites though, lol. :D
I wis to be promoted to executioner xD
Quote from: birkin on May 30, 2014, 01:34:57 PM
haha I love that you're now royalty, Malachite.
Lol me too! It has been a long time coming.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 30, 2014, 02:23:34 PM
Thank you for clearing up my misunderstanding Your Grace. Will I be expecting a invitation to your royal court in the mail?
No problem and sure, why not? I'll probably have the coronation done in my blog. :D
Quote from: Brianna Terryal Onyx on May 30, 2014, 02:26:17 PM
I wis to be promoted to executioner xD
Hmmmmm and what are your qualifications for that position? :P
There must be a reason I got out of bed, I wonder what it was!
Quote from: Cindy on May 30, 2014, 07:06:28 PM
There must be a reason I got out of bed, I wonder what it was!
umm it's morning?
(sorry 4 hours sleep last night and I'm working a 15hr day, I'm in a mood)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 30, 2014, 07:10:08 PM
umm it's morning?
(sorry 4 hours sleep last night and I'm working a 15hr day, I'm in a mood)
I'm on call and worked the night, is it morning? What is this bed thingy?
Bed? Who mentioned a bed what is a bed. I feel asleep in my uniform with paperwork not completed.
Quote from: King Malachite on May 30, 2014, 07:03:20 PM
Hmmmmm and what are your qualifications for that position? :P
*points to top part of profile pic* i'm the grim reaper's heir. thats why xD
Ooooo majesty, can I be your jestor? >:-)
Quote from: Brianna Terryal Onyx on May 30, 2014, 09:16:13 PM
*points to top part of profile pic* i'm the grim reaper's heir. thats why xD
Hmmmmm yeah that's good enough for me. XD
Quote from: christopher on May 30, 2014, 10:00:36 PM
Ooooo majesty, can I be your jestor? >:-)
Sure, but be warned, if the royal jester isn't entertaining enough for the king, then he might just have to send you to the executioner. >:-)
Quote from: King Malachite on May 30, 2014, 10:53:54 PM
Hmmmmm yeah that's good enough for me. XD
Sure, but be warned, if the royal jester isn't entertaining enough for the king, then he might just have to send you to the executioner. >:-)
hehehe, you dont want to be sent to me >:-)
Quote from: Brianna Terryal Onyx on May 30, 2014, 10:55:31 PM
hehehe, you dont want to be sent to me >:-)
not that
<I fall over>
<I land on a pie>
oopsie
Quote from: christopher on May 30, 2014, 11:09:12 PM
<I fall over>
<I land on a pie>
oopsie
*Yawn* I am displeased....STRIKE ONE!
My last name actually is Reap.
Can I be the hired psycho?
King!?
When did this happen as "we" did not approve it.
I suppose I will have to be a wench then.
A feisty wench.....
Baseball? yes, your majesty
Some guys are so sweet. I just published my amazon wish list on Tumblr not even a werk ago and a couple guys bought me some really nice crap. A Logitech c920 (which is like the best webcam on the market) and two nice...outfits. I'm seriously considering camming soo..it was sweet of them to help me get started.
I came across a suicide note that I wrote last November. I didn't know that it was still laying around. It was weird reading through it and thinking about what I was saying in the note. I certainly don't believe any of the stuff that I said in the note. It doesn't apply to how I feel now. It was just weird coming across something like this.
i'm thinking my legs fell asleep. oh the horror, the unimaginable pain!
Well send them to the Lord High Executioner.
"Three little maids from school are we"
Thinking the Aussie girls should design a nice brand for his Royal Highness's butt :laugh:
"We" are amused.
Good idea Cindy.
Let's make it so.
I can already smell Malachite's flesh burning from here. >:-)
I was thinking of something simple but - regal
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.vectorstock.com%2Fi%2Fcomposite%2F53%2C32%2Fregal-crown-vector-895332.jpg&hash=1ad8c0c0b2848c45b21e675f8822b6b197ee0119)
I'll start the furnace warming up.
Hi Hum off to work we go
That looks very ornate and a lot of effort for a single brand.
Perhaps we need to multi brand the boy just to make it worth your time?
What do you think?
Mmm maybe a silhouette?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_hyLGYtoufOU%2FTLxEz3ENXsI%2FAAAAAAAAAIA%2F_4Zlqzqk8Uo%2Fs1600%2Fscepter.jpg&hash=a16887ddd57620087bf52fc53860ec5dfb033af0)
Could be painful though - have to remember to keep our fingers out of the way :laugh:
This would be my suggestion...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsites.psu.edu%2Fleatherbootprints%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F9899%2F2014%2F02%2Fboot_print_style-1331px2.png&hash=c12a1094bff5cc61ab1d95fe948d03ec7672c4f4)
Has an artistic appeal - and Australian flavour!
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 31, 2014, 04:03:02 AM
This would be my suggestion...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsites.psu.edu%2Fleatherbootprints%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F9899%2F2014%2F02%2Fboot_print_style-1331px2.png&hash=c12a1094bff5cc61ab1d95fe948d03ec7672c4f4)
that would be great!
<I do a cartwheel in excitement>
Sounds like dethronement to me :o xD
I've just been made the new grim reaper xD whoop! >:-)
I'm thinking my big tv is much better with a new bulb in it.
I've been thinking a lot about my mortality today. As some of you may know, it's in the news that the oldest living American has reached 115. It's made me think about how long I'm likely to live. I know this sounds morbid, but I'd be happy if I make it somewhere between the age of 40-50. Maybe I say this cause I'm 25, but I can't see myself growing old and have sort of made peace with the fact that this isn't likely. Not that it would be a bad thing in any way as I would like to live beyond that, if I could do so comfortably and happily. I'm just doubtful I will make it to that point. It's mind blowing to think another human being could make it to the age of 115. Considering all the things that can happen to a person at anytime, it's just so shocking when you think about it. Then again, if I do get to have a family (husband, children, and rescue pets) at some point, I'd like to be there for them. I'd like to remain young as long as possible, but dying young isn't exactly a gift in my view. And if I expire so early, I would be potentially doing a disservice to those who may become dependent on me. Should I really be okay with the fact that I may not be around for much longer? When you really think about it, life is very strange and frail all at the same time. And considering all the challenges and things that life throws out at you, it's amazing to think some make it for so long. I don't know but reading about the 115 year old American put me in an introspective mood today.
I'm allergic to brandings and dethronement!
Quote from: Edge on May 30, 2014, 11:22:52 PM
My last name actually is Reap.
Can I be the hired psycho?
Hmmm the hired psycho? That sounds like an interesting position. And what tasks does the hired psycho perform?
Quote from: learningtolive on May 31, 2014, 04:32:05 PM
I've been thinking a lot about my mortality today. As some of you may know, it's in the news that the oldest living American has reached 115. It's made me think about how long I'm likely to live. I know this sounds morbid, but I'd be happy if I make it somewhere between the age of 40-50. Maybe I say this cause I'm 25, but I can't see myself growing old and have sort of made peace with the fact that this isn't likely. Not that it would be a bad thing in any way as I would like to live beyond that, if I could do so comfortably and happily. I'm just doubtful I will make it to that point. It's mind blowing to think another human being could make it to the age of 115. Considering all the things that can happen to a person at anytime, it's just so shocking when you think about it. Then again, if I do get to have a family (husband, children, and rescue pets) at some point, I'd like to be there for them. I'd like to remain young as long as possible, but dying young isn't exactly a gift in my view. And if I expire so early, I would be potentially doing a disservice to those who may become dependent on me. Should I really be okay with the fact that I may not be around for much longer? When you really think about it, life is very strange and frail all at the same time. And considering all the challenges and things that life throws out at you, it's amazing to think some make it for so long. I don't know but reading about the 115 year old American put me in an introspective mood today.
I used to think I wouldn't live to 30. And due to the dysphoria and everything, I probably didn't want to. I still can't imagine living to be old. But the marker keeps changing. Used to think 50 was the ultimate ceiling, but honestly it doesn't seem so old now. So, you might keep moving the marker as you get older. :laugh:
And as a woman, well, that's usually who lives into their 80s and beyond. So with E and all, you could be around a long time.
That's fine we will just give you a Kingectomy, my squire.
You can't stop us branding you. Cindy is a professional and nothing will stop her. I know that's the truth.
Quote from: Jenny07 on May 31, 2014, 04:40:18 PM
That's fine we will just give you a Kingectomy, my squire.
You can't stop us branding you. Cindy is a professional and nothing will stop her. I know that's the truth.
But branding is only reserved for the royal mods and links staff people. No kings in there. :P
i'm sry my lord, but as a full fledged grim reaper now, i only care about collecting my souls xD i was tasked of looking over you cuz your soul has gained the attention of my father xD
Is his Grace interested in taking out some personal insurance? I do have numerous blunt instruments waiting to be used on Australians wielding whips and branding irons. For a modest fee of course.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 31, 2014, 04:48:19 PM
Is his Grace interested in taking out some personal insurance? I do have numerous blunt instruments waiting to be used on Australians wielding whips and branding irons. For a modest fee of course.
i need the soul of the king so i can past my final trial xD i'll be happy to join in xD
Quote from: King Malachite on May 31, 2014, 04:45:37 PM
But branding is only reserved for the royal mods and links staff people. No kings in there. :P
Queen Cindy has her minions of darkness who will find you so be afraid sweety.
Warm up the irons >:-)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 31, 2014, 04:48:19 PM
Is his Grace interested in taking out some personal insurance? I do have numerous blunt instruments waiting to be used on Australians wielding whips and branding irons. For a modest fee of course.
I can't afford it. I'm a broke king. :D
Quote from: Grim Reaper Brianna Terryal on May 31, 2014, 04:52:45 PM
i need the soul of the king so i can past my final trial xD i'll be happy to join in xD
Sorry I'm renting my soul out right now. Please try again some other time. :)
Quote from: Jenny07 on May 31, 2014, 04:55:37 PM
Queen Cindy has her minions of darkness who will find you so be afraid sweety.
Warm up the irons >:-)
The Aussie Mafia? I thought they disbanded over a year ago, lol.
Quote from: King Malachite on May 31, 2014, 05:08:10 PM
Sorry I'm renting my soul out right now. Please try again some other time. :)
no problem. i can just take it if i want to xD no escape from the master of darkness xD but your given an extension so use it wisely, my lord xD
You can pay me in favors and pardons
This is why I'm glad I wasn't born with a soul. Nothing for Brianna to reap
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 31, 2014, 05:11:57 PM
You can pay me in favors and pardons
boooo, thus this mean i have to protect him? xD
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 31, 2014, 05:13:21 PM
You can pay me in favors and pardons
This is why I'm glad I wasn't born with a soul. Nothing for Brianna to reap
i could never reap your soul xD
We're just like the Spanish Inquisitions, turns up when you least expect us.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DHN.608009542120899540%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=03fff9e9222ba02982f4beb49b65881c0bb16f6c)
Quote from: Grim Reaper Brianna Terryal on May 31, 2014, 05:10:28 PM
no problem. i can just take it if i want to xD no escape from the master of darkness xD but your given an extension so use it wisely, my lord xD
Well I do have a back-up soul on clearance, but it's pretty outdated. Take that one.
@ immortal gypsy I'm too broke for that too.
Quote from: Jenny07 on May 31, 2014, 05:15:07 PM
We're just like the Spanish Inquisitions, turns up when you least expect us.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DHN.608009542120899540%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=03fff9e9222ba02982f4beb49b65881c0bb16f6c)
You got to have all of them together. ;) You can't have 90 percent of the Transformers and expect a fully functional giant robot to be built.
Quote from: christopher on May 31, 2014, 12:44:36 PM
that would be great!
<I do a cartwheel in excitement>
drat I forgot to do a cartwheel while I was out.
And in other news. do I have the nerve and energy to go to the barber shop today? what's the worst that can happen. They say I'm a woman and get out? that would suck but life would go on. hmmm...
I've decided I want to do this
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F0.tqn.com%2Fd%2Fmenshair%2F1%2F7%2FP%2F0%2F-%2F-%2Fbeckham.jpg&hash=cc2c400507a045c52a3d6dd2609f9c04de5e1bfd)
without the cool facial hair unfortunately. But the shaved sides is what I've been needing. And while I'm being all crazy and self-centered I'm getting new glasses. Super stoked. First of all, I am not seeing very well. Secondly. My glasses have been really bugging me. I'm going to get manly glasses. hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry up and come in.
Money talks Christopher. They will want your business remember that.
Most barbers would cut your hair, even if they perceived you as "female", surely? I've certainly heard of women get male style haircuts at barber shops. They're cheaper for starters!
I'm wondering if anyone even clicked the pic I posted.
Do I put in an application to take over the location that is available for work. It would mean I would be paid on commission/base rate instead of an hourly pay. However as the boss I definitely have no worries about loosing hours or my job itself concerning any trans issues that are worrying me at the moment
Love your photo marsh monster (Jamie). Please tell me how do you get your eye shadow to look so natural
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 31, 2014, 07:07:55 PM
Money talks Christopher. They will want your business remember that.
I got turned firmly away
Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 31, 2014, 07:07:55 PM
Money talks Christopher. They will want your business remember that.
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 31, 2014, 07:13:25 PM
Most barbers would cut your hair, even if they perceived you as "female", surely? I've certainly heard of women get male style haircuts at barber shops. They're cheaper for starters!
WHAT THE .........
breath one two three
WHAT THE.... .
S*&# I'm sorry man what the.....
I have never ever heard of anything like that. Being made to wait to see the barber yes (especially if they are good). But being turned firmly away. Besides being absolutely gobsmacked furious at them and wanted to pick you up and hold you if you're down right now. The only thing I can think of is its a cultural thing Grace and I are in Australia. Did they give you a reason or just say no. Smeg I'm pretty sure you've posted a picture of yourself there is no doubt about it you are a guy
Quote from: christopher on May 31, 2014, 08:46:39 PM
I got turned firmly away
Hey Christopher that is unreal, try some other place I doubt that would happen again. My cis sister-in-law gets her haircuts at a barber shop mostly because she is a cheap ass, it has nothing to do with being a trans man, they don't give her any static at all. You'd think they are in business to cut hair and make a few bucks, wtf huh?
Quote from: christopher on May 31, 2014, 08:46:39 PM
I got turned firmly away
Whiskey tango foxtrot? At least the bigoted turds didn't get paid.
Come to Los Angeles. We will fix you up with a nice studly cut.
First I heard of getting turned away from a barber shop. It probably means you don't want to give them your money anyway.
Aww you guys are making me feel lots better.
I live in a small town and it's still got it's rural/logging roots so it's not completely surprising to me.
And LordKat. You are right. I won't give that barbershop money. And I will tell all my friends what happened.
for some reason, i was hit again with intense sadness. its pretty mild but still. i'm thinking i wanna know whats going on -.-. maybe it was becuz i saw a mother and her child on the bus yesterday? really makes me want a child even more :'(
One last beer until like August or so. I have umm, higher priorities. Way higher priorities...
Cheers, and I love you all!
Quote from: Jill F on June 01, 2014, 02:28:29 AM
One last beer until like August or so. I have umm, higher priorities. Way higher priorities...
Cheers, and I love you all!
I'll click your glass with my Bacardi and Coke and wish you good fortune and happiness
Quote from: christopher on May 31, 2014, 09:58:35 PM
Aww you guys are making me feel lots better.
I live in a small town and it's still got it's rural/logging roots so it's not completely surprising to me.
And LordKat. You are right. I won't give that barbershop money. And I will tell all my friends what happened.
Sorry to hear this Christopher, but I also find it really funny - a barber turning down money to cut hair - talk about an absolute loser!!!!!!
The guy must have a brain of a peanut!
Certainly no business sense. The peanut probably will get rich first.
Quote from: Cindy on June 01, 2014, 02:37:08 AM
Sorry to hear this Christopher, but I also find it really funny - a barber turning down money to cut hair - talk about an absolute loser!!!!!!
The guy must have a brain of a peanut!
The barber sounds like an ignorant bigot, saying he is an absolute loser or has the brain of a peanut is giving him too much credit :D
I'm wondering of he is bald :laugh:
Must be, who would want to cut his hair.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbehance.vo.llnwd.net%2Fprofiles%2F74424%2Fprojects%2F3472703%2F764bf2f2c1988df2d4c899ed7d46c24c.jpg&hash=8628dd0c19c8df2ac68d0724f5eec520cf3c4f14)
I say we give this Barber a haircut. Say a few inches from the top :icon_chainsaw:
I've got some nasty stomach bug (and I mean nasty) and I'm still laughing reading all your comments. He had plenty of hair, so he definitely needs you all to give him a haircut.
It still means no one is willing to cut it for him.
Quote from: LordKAT on June 01, 2014, 03:57:31 AM
It still means no one is willing to cut it for him.
yes!!!!!!!!!!!
ok. crawling back into bed. you all have been awesome.
Wednesday will mark the 11th month since I had my last drink.
I'm thinking about Father's day. It comes in two weeks and brings up something I've been fearing for a long time: talking with my dad. It's been about a year since my father and I have seen each other. While we will speak on the phone here and there (which is a rare occassion as well to be honest) my father hasn't really seen me since I've been on hormones. Once he sees me, he will know what's going on for sure. I mean, he already knows I was taking estrogen, cause he read one of my EOBS, but I don't know if he pieced it all together. In any case, it's going to be hard. Last time we saw each other, it went horribly. Sadly, our relationship sort of got strained and there are unresolved issues between us. Still, he is my father, and I love him with everything that I have. I want to see him. I don't want to avoid him for the rest of my life and want to be able to talk to him on the phone or see him without feeling anxiety. I'm going to have to see him, but what sort of father's day will this be? How will he react? Will I hurt him? Will our relationship ever go back to normal? I don't know. So many things to think about and resolve with so little time. I can't put off talking with my father forever nor can I avoid seeing him for father's day. What sort of kid would I be to him by doing that? And while I may be scared and we may have a strained relationship at this point, but he's my dad and deserves a nice father's day. Got some planning and more thinking to do.
Someone who I learned to hate because they were a sick, disgusting perverted a-hole died of cancer last night. I still feel bad they died and especially that way. Its a difficult thing to go through, but I figure they are better off now anyway rather than continue in pain and misery.
I want someone to go to the store for me.
thinking i need a new spell book xD
I'm thinking this is a waste of time and effort. I'm seriously feeling like some sort of pariah.
Why what's wrong
Happy to finally be home after an amazeballs 8 days away.
Decided to have the margaritas after all and just Jillax on my lanai with my awesome wife.
Bloodwork in one month, so this is the last great sin day until then. At least I get to go to Vegas for the 4th of July and see Queen. Eyes on the prize, right?
Adios, pinches cojonitas!
Quote from: marsh monster on June 01, 2014, 08:08:56 PM
I'm thinking this is a waste of time and effort. I'm seriously feeling like some sort of pariah.
Oh stop, that's not true at all!
I am officially pouting
boo hoo poor me and all that nonsense. harumph
so there.
You better not pout.
Otherwise you'll end up with lump of coal this year
Remember St. Nic is always watching
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on June 01, 2014, 03:01:36 PM
Wednesday will mark the 11th month since I had my last drink.
gratz and (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2Fc8%2F25%2F1a%2Fc8251a9b8aa92ffddaa9b20d12a7b5ba.jpg&hash=15c4d773a2e8e3234fb2d860de7a3f75aef719c4)
Quote from: LordKAT on June 01, 2014, 10:35:22 PM
gratz and (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2Fc8%2F25%2F1a%2Fc8251a9b8aa92ffddaa9b20d12a7b5ba.jpg&hash=15c4d773a2e8e3234fb2d860de7a3f75aef719c4)
Word, Snoop Dawg. :D
Actually, the only reason I stopped is because the alcohol was having some very scary interactions with the anti depressant that I am on. If it wasn't for that, I would still drink. I got my drinking under control a long time ago. If I drank a pint of peppermint schnapps a month, that was a lot for me. I used to drink way too much. But I had some drinks last 4th of July just for fun and as it turned out, July 5th was a very scary day. That was when I remembered the "do not take with alcohol" label on the bottle of pills. It literally scared me off alcohol forever.
In other news: Mike Patton circa 1986 sounded just like Wembley from Fraggle Rock when he would scream. :D It's true.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.acartoonchristmas.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F12%2Ffraggle-wembley.jpg&hash=95248d81bb58909aee72518416ce73e2e7f29f0b)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 01, 2014, 09:50:18 PM
You better not pout.
Otherwise you'll end up with lump of coal this year
Remember St. Nic is always watching
I really don't like St. Nick. So I'm gonna keep pouting and I'm going to take all the coal I already got and get ready to bean St Nick with it the next time he shows up. So there :P
oh my GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been so sick. I forgot. Look! Look look look. Look at my ticker! 1 month since I started T. Woo hoooooooooooooooo
errr... wait, wasn't I pouting and stuff?
lol Congrats, Christopher.
I'm thinking about a lot of things, but I can't figure out what they are because they're all jumbled. I want to talk to someone, but don't know what I'd say and I know that's a weakness.
Quote from: christopher on June 01, 2014, 10:54:21 PM
oh my GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been so sick. I forgot. Look! Look look look. Look at my ticker! 1 month since I started T. Woo hoooooooooooooooo
errr... wait, wasn't I pouting and stuff?
Congratulations on passing your first month Christopher
I said St. Nic not Nicholas. I happen to know someone who looks good in red and has a crowbar ready to return any coal sent their way ;)
Debra (my most recent plushie arrival) absolutely REEKS! She smells so heavily of cigarette smoke, it's frickin' disgusting. It really makes me appreciate how well the others were taken care of by the people that had them previously. I'm debating on how I am going to get her cleaned. She will need to be washed and dried in a machine. She smells THAT bad. BUT I don't want to screw her up in the process.
Major dislike for the local public transport.
The bus schedules are a mess. I have a blood test at 11am and the only bus I can take is at the hospital at 10.10am. The letter does say I gotta get there at least 15 minutes earlier to let my blood flow get normal but 50 minutes? COME ON.
Quote from: Tossu-sama on June 02, 2014, 12:46:04 AM
Major dislike for the local public transport.
The bus schedules are a mess. I have a blood test at 11am and the only bus I can take is at the hospital at 10.10am. The letter does say I gotta get there at least 15 minutes earlier to let my blood flow get normal but 50 minutes? COME ON.
LOL... Don't get me started... Arrrrgh!!! My local shuttle service will make anyone dread ever having an appointment :P I totally feel for you on that one
I need to so lose weight and I royally suck at it, plus I don't know how to cook. I also need to prioritize my life goals, since sometimes I'm all over the place, its just annoying.
Electrolysis rants
Just after 'high fiving' my electrologist as we were sure that I had had my first full clearing - I found 6 perhaps 9 facial hairs. I think that the electrologist must have been using mynoxidil instead of alcohol at the end of each session!
Just how many dormant follicles are there?
Does anyone else need to have needles stuck inside their ear?
When did my stomach and back start to look like a carpet?
I should be finished already?
I know my electrologist better than my partner - I spend more time with her!
Aisla
So, I know that I'm ugly. Why do certain people like to tell me I'm beautiful? Is it supposed to be helpful to lie to people? Are they trying to get something from me?
Beauty emanates from within, possibly there could be a self acceptance issue?
FOR ****'S SAKE.
Awfully horribad bus schedules apparently weren't enough but all the blood test appointments were late by approx. 45 minutes! @_@ All in all, I was waiting for my turn for, what, over 1,5 hours?
YAY.
I see beauty when I look in the mirror. I just know I can't believe it because the world doesn't reflect that.
Possibly decide who's perception is more important, your's or the multitude of strangers who make up the rest of the world
Quote from: V M on June 02, 2014, 06:15:34 AM
Possibly decide who's perception is more important, your's or the multitude of strangers who make up the rest of the world
no man is an island?
My hair is getting/going to be too long to cosplay as some of the characters I want to cosplay as. In a way, I think it's kind of symbolic. I have/had a tendency to live vicariously through fictional characters since I feel/felt blocked from living as myself. Now, it's like I'm shedding (ahar) that to live as myself.
I'm taking a first aid/CPR course in a few days, hopefully will help with the job prospects.
My sports bras are worrying me. The straps show by my neck. They are a year old and worn nearly every day so I am not surprised, they're getting worn out and supporting less too. It's embarrassing. But I can't buy anything new (no cash), don't fancy trying on bras in the store again, and it's too hot for the waist trimmers I used in the winter.
Hysto tomorrow and I'm not stressed out or concerned about it. Well, not yet at least and I'd prefer to keep it this way. :D I'm more concerned about having to survive on hospital food for several days. I have slight childhood traumas about it and they always seem to know exactly what foods I don't like at all. @_@
Quote from: Tossu-sama on June 02, 2014, 08:11:44 PMHysto tomorrow and I'm not stressed out or concerned about it. Well, not yet at least and I'd prefer to keep it this way. :D I'm more concerned about having to survive on hospital food for several days. I have slight childhood traumas about it and they always seem to know exactly what foods I don't like at all. @_@
It's generally not too bad, that is, if they're aware of the type of surgery you've had.
When I had my jaw surgery, what do they send me for lunch? A salad. Dinner? Beef stew. Breakfast the next day? Well, I think they caught on, cream of wheat (but at the time it was believed that I was lactose intolerant) and by that time, I was really hungry, and didn't care what meal it was, bring me something I can eat! The nurse was like wtf seriously can these people not read and quickly got them to purée some beef stew for me. Not the weirdest breakfast I've ever had (that was a coffee and a stick of Buffalo Bob's Cajun Style Alligator Jerky) but certainly up there :P
Why does Astroglide only have one "s"? Shouldn't it have two?
Quote from: Lauren5 on June 02, 2014, 08:28:31 PM
It's generally not too bad, that is, if they're aware of the type of surgery you've had.
When I had my jaw surgery, what do they send me for lunch? A salad. Dinner? Beef stew. Breakfast the next day? Well, I think they caught on, cream of wheat (but at the time it was believed that I was lactose intolerant) and by that time, I was really hungry, and didn't care what meal it was, bring me something I can eat! The nurse was like wtf seriously can these people not read and quickly got them to purée some beef stew for me. Not the weirdest breakfast I've ever had (that was a coffee and a stick of Buffalo Bob's Cajun Style Alligator Jerky) but certainly up there :P
...Well, that sucks big time. That's just so ridiculous I don't even know what to say. o_o
I'm just a bit fuzzy eater in general, for example I don't like eating meat unless it's cooked by certain few people. I have huge paranoia about meat being undercooked and having chewy bits in it (in which case I get an immediate gag reflex and won't eat anymore). I also like my food fairly well seasoned and that's something hospital food lacks... Not very good things when combined with my raging T hunger. :D
Oh yeah, and judging by the last time they only serve coffee during breakfast and I like having coffee, or something with caffeine, through the day. :I Here's hoping no caffeine withdrawals will kick in...
Quote from: Tossu-sama on June 02, 2014, 08:58:55 PM...Well, that sucks big time. That's just so ridiculous I don't even know what to say. o_o
I'm just a bit fuzzy eater in general, for example I don't like eating meat unless it's cooked by certain few people. I have huge paranoia about meat being undercooked and having chewy bits in it (in which case I get an immediate gag reflex and won't eat anymore). I also like my food fairly well seasoned and that's something hospital food lacks... Not very good things when combined with my raging T hunger. :D
Oh yeah, and judging by the last time they only serve coffee during breakfast and I like having coffee, or something with caffeine, through the day. :I Here's hoping no caffeine withdrawals will kick in...
I look back on it now and laugh. Not at the time, I was hungry, the pain and anti-nausea meds wanted something in my stomach, and worse, my IV popped out and well there went the nausea meds.
At the time, man, was I just ready to not be there and was borderline angry. Now, I chuckle :D
Oh yeah, I know those feelings from my teenage years.
That's unfortunate. I like a cup during breakfast, and then another a couple of hours later (usually around 10) with a small snack myself.
am I awake?
I'm wondering if I should drop one of my courses next fall. Five lectures and three labs all of which will most likely have homework might be a bit too much to do on top of everything else. Especially since I'll have to get a babysitter for one of those labs if I don't drop it.
I'm wondering if I should take lessons in something I want to learn more about. Maybe I should work on the projects I've already been meaning to do first.
I'm wondering how I can teach myself self discipline. I have a hard time not procrastinating. It doesn't help that I feel tired a lot. I should eat healthier and exercise more.
I'm wondering if I should call the tattoo place and ask them to fix mine up. The green isn't as dark as I'd like it to be.
I just remembered something that happened when I was about eight years old. It had been raining for days and was staying with a friend's mom for the day. After it stopped raining, we decided to take a walk in the woods and both slipped in the mud. We thought it was funny and ended up rolling around in it to the point that we were both completely covered in mud from head to toe.
When we arrived back at the house, his mother rolled her eyes, ordered us to strip naked and marched us into the backyard where we were unceremoniously hosed down with the cold water from a green garden hose.
Because my friend was so much smaller, the only clean clothes in the house that would fit me belonged to his older sister, which I wore while my clothes and shoes were washed. I sat in her room alone for two hours as a punishment while wearing her clothes. I spent the time actually wishing I was her and admiring her collection of dolls and stuffed animals. I had to pretend that I hated it because i knew that I would get the snot beaten out of me again at school if I didn't protest too much.
So that was actually the first time for me.
I think i've finally figuree it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 03, 2014, 07:31:32 AM
So tell us
gravity seriously hates me. i tripped up 3 flights up stairs the other day and i keep tripping over the smallest things lol. i even trip over ants for crying out loud xD is this even normal? lol
Quote from: Jill F on June 03, 2014, 01:13:37 AM
I just remembered something that happened when I was about eight years old. It had been raining for days and was staying with a friend's mom for the day. After it stopped raining, we decided to take a walk in the woods and both slipped in the mud. We thought it was funny and ended up rolling around in it to the point that we were both completely covered in mud from head to toe.
When we arrived back at the house, his mother rolled her eyes, ordered us to strip naked and marched us into the backyard where we were unceremoniously hosed down with the cold water from a green garden hose.
Because my friend was so much smaller, the only clean clothes in the house that would fit me belonged to his older sister, which I wore while my clothes and shoes were washed. I sat in her room alone for two hours as a punishment while wearing her clothes. I spent the time actually wishing I was her and admiring her collection of dolls and stuffed animals. I had to pretend that I hated it because i knew that I would get the snot beaten out of me again at school if I didn't protest too much.
So that was actually the first time for me.
oh wow, that's really interesting hon! what kind of outfit?
Cathay Pacific in January/February is $7000 for business class roundtrip ORD-HKG-BKK. The round the world trip I could do afterwards, making it ORD-HGK-BKK-KUL-SIN-SYD-DXB-DOH-JNB-LHR-MAD-GIG-SCL-EZE-JFK-ORD (Bolded are actual stops, others are just plane change) would be $11000 in business class.
I see no logic to that. Just means more fancy seats and meals for me.
Sad part is, even though I love Cathay and their business class seats to death, $7000 for the flight is beyond what I can afford. It's about $1000 ORD-NRT-BKK on ANA, or ORD-ICN-BKK on Asiana in coach, or the cheapest business class price, $3500 on Hainan ORD-PEK-BKK, and although they're all 5 star airlines, none of them have the place in my heart that Cathay does.
Is it possible to be a fan of an airline? If so, I'm certainly Cathay's #1 fan. Wish it could get me a free/discounted upgrade :(
Quote from: FA on June 03, 2014, 11:40:48 AM
oh wow, that's really interesting hon! what kind of outfit?
Hardly an outfit, but it was a pair of Jordache jeans and a white top with short sleeves and ruffles. Hey, it was 1978...
The first time for makeup was 1989, when I had an andro goth makeover for Halloween. I was Marilyn Manson before he was.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FGradeSchoolPortiaHighSchoolPortia.png&hash=17936e3a002f2f38aab96ac330bf4989081a2418)
I think this is pretty cool.
I'm thinking about my path and where to go from here. I'm thinking about the kind of guy I am, the kind of guy I want to be, and how to build a life where I can be that guy. I'm making a plan and hoping I can stick to it.
i have like 10 big misquito bits on my legs and they are ITCHY!!!!
Quote from: Grim Reaper Brianna Terryal on June 03, 2014, 11:10:53 PM
i have like 10 big misquito bits on my legs and they are ITCHY!!!!
That sucks.
I'm lucky. They seem to hate me and leave me alone. It must be something in my skin. :D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on June 03, 2014, 11:14:01 PM
That sucks.
I'm lucky. They seem to hate me and leave me alone. It must be something in my skin. :D
Fleas?
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on June 03, 2014, 11:14:01 PM
That sucks.
I'm lucky. They seem to hate me and leave me alone. It must be something in my skin. :D
i just have super sweet blood lol. it is somewhat sweet though. everytime i cut my finger, i suck on it to stop the bleeding so that how i know lol
Whenever I see "WPATH" I think WarPATH!
Quote from: MacG on June 04, 2014, 12:34:41 AM
Whenever I see "WPATH" I think WarPATH!
Same here!!
Can't wait to get my package Friday!!!!
Quote from: King Malachite on June 04, 2014, 01:59:24 PM
Can't wait to get my package Friday!!!!
Gold?
Fish?
Ancient Chinese Secret?
i'm thinking of turtles
I'm thinking when the hell will my roomate finally leave to work abroad so I can have some privacy from her and her chick ;_;
Quote from: King Malachite on June 04, 2014, 03:24:03 PM
A Ted Union Suit!
I was guessing he meant "package" in a much different sense.
Right now I'm thinking that I wouldn't have to practically starve myself now if I wasn't such a pig on vacation.
i was made a vampire. now i got the job of grim reaper and i'm also a vampire. wow, whats next, i'll be one of the 7 sins? oh boy xD
I am so pumped about my interview coming up. Just knowing I am closer to finding work has alleviated so much of my depression, it's like this enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's not even about the money (although I need it), it just sucked feeling lazy and not having a sense of purpose lol. I honestly don't know how some people don't want to work, even only part-time. 6 months of unemployment made my mood hit rock bottom.
It's too distracting studying at home, maybe I should just go to starbucks. But, I don't want to spend the gas to get there and then have to buy something.
Quote from: Jill F on June 04, 2014, 03:35:21 PM
I was guessing he meant "package" in a much different sense.
I wish it was another type of "package" though, but I'd be traveling for that. :D
I'm thinking about Saturday when I was at work. It got really busy at the bungee station and my co-worker had came early so he helped out from time to time until his shift officially started (though he originally said he wouldn't because he wouldn't be getting paid for that, haha) Well we got backed up at our bungee station and had 3 girls sitting in chairs waiting, the youngest probably being 3 or 4. I'm busy strapping in this young boy and there was another bungee station ready to be used so I'm thinking he was going to strap the young girl in since she was next. By that time I was finished strapping the boy in, I go to the other station and see the girl on the trampoline, but not strapped in. The guy was just sitting and looking at his phone so I'm like "what gives" to myself because he had weighed her and was ready to strap her in and the adult who paid for her said that the little girl said that she didn't want him to strap her in and I'm thinking to myself "what the heck?" I tried to ask the little girl about it nicely, but she never responded so I just hurried up and strapped her in since we were so backed up. I told my mom about it and she said that something could have happened in her past. A friend of mine more or less said/implied that it could have just been the guardian's request perhaps because there it would have been a man handling her groin area and there are some perverted men out there (as if some women aren't?). It could have been something completely different. I have no clue. I just wonder if this will happen more when we are both there again.
@birkin good luck! I know that horrible feeling of just laying around all day not feeling like you have a purpose
Right now I'm not really in such a great place. I'm guessing it's really because I'm on the wrong end of my hormonal cycle right now, but sometimes I wonder if my presence here is actually doing any good for me or anyone else. I probably trigger a lot of people without realizing it. I try to help out as much as I can and give back to the community that has helped me immeasurably, but I feel sometimes like I just end up making things worse. I try to add as much levity as I can here, but I sometimes wonder if people take it as a kind of mockery. I also get very snarky sometimes. I can't help it, it is just who I am.
I was almost dead not so long ago, and by some miracle, everything seems to be resolving itself now. I am basically a sunny, happy person now, when dark clouds once seemed to follow me everywhere. I was this dark, bitter, sarcastic a*hole that people once walked on eggshells around. I like who I am so much more now, as do most people. Susan's made me realize that as far as MTFs go, I'm actually pretty "standard issue". In fact it's the only place I've ever been where I did not feel like a complete misfit. Some days it makes me feel a lot better about my future and helps to quashes that "fear of the unknown" that I have always felt, and some days I end up crying a lot because I care so much about all of you and know deep down that I am probably powerless to help alleviate your pain and anguish.
I really do love all of you, but I'm thinking I actually might be doing more damage than good here just by being me and being honest.
If I ever made anyone feel worse, I am truly sorry. Maybe I should just stick to what I do best and caption avatars occasionally?
Jill - you stand out to me as somebody whose posts I relate to. So thank you.
haha! i am now on of the 7 rulers of the underworld xD great. what was that old man thinking. anyways, i have invites to my coronation xD
My boss man has me coming in at 11:30 a.m instead of 3:30 p.m. tomorrow.
I feel so manly calling him my boss man.
hey malachite, i think your dethronement is at hand once i take the seat as one of the 7 kings of the underworld xD
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal on June 04, 2014, 07:44:02 PM
hey malachite, i think your dethronement is at hand once i take the seat as one of the 7 kings of the underworld xD
Have fun with that, lol.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 04, 2014, 07:46:22 PM
Have fun with that, lol.
it'll be easy xD i have control over the national registry of royal lines and kings xD tehehehehe....but, i cant do that because it needs to be voted on so your safe.......for now >:-)
hmmm sure why not? :D
*giggles* tehehehe :laugh:
I'm a metalhead and horror fanboy who thrives in chaos. is going to school to be a mad neuroscientist, and who wants to be a witch and a supervillain.
I like being me.
I wonder if there's a word for someone who really likes dark stuff who isn't a goth. I hate goth subculture mostly due to the ones I've met.
Quote from: Jill F on June 04, 2014, 05:46:51 PM
Right now I'm not really in such a great place. I'm guessing it's really because I'm on the wrong end of my hormonal cycle right now, but sometimes I wonder if my presence here is actually doing any good for me or anyone else. I probably trigger a lot of people without realizing it. I try to help out as much as I can and give back to the community that has helped me immeasurably, but I feel sometimes like I just end up making things worse. I try to add as much levity as I can here, but I sometimes wonder if people take it as a kind of mockery. I also get very snarky sometimes. I can't help it, it is just who I am.
I was almost dead not so long ago, and by some miracle, everything seems to be resolving itself now. I am basically a sunny, happy person now, when dark clouds once seemed to follow me everywhere. I was this dark, bitter, sarcastic a*hole that people once walked on eggshells around. I like who I am so much more now, as do most people. Susan's made me realize that as far as MTFs go, I'm actually pretty "standard issue". In fact it's the only place I've ever been where I did not feel like a complete misfit. Some days it makes me feel a lot better about my future and helps to quashes that "fear of the unknown" that I have always felt, and some days I end up crying a lot because I care so much about all of you and know deep down that I am probably powerless to help alleviate your pain and anguish.
I really do love all of you, but I'm thinking I actually might be doing more damage than good here just by being me and being honest.
If I ever made anyone feel worse, I am truly sorry. Maybe I should just stick to what I do best and caption avatars occasionally?
Oh Jill, you don't know how much I like and appreciate you, your personality and the levity you bring at times, don't you dare go anywhere my friend. And be advised that we all get those same feelings about ourselves and how we are received by others, it's no biggie hon, that feeling is BS and it will go away eventually, it's just the devil screwing with your head. ((Hugs) the Shanster
I LOOK LIKE A COW!!! ugh!
Quit beatin' yourself up Jill, several folks including myself think you're pretty cool 8)
I'm thinking I forgot to take something again today. That might explain things. Orchi can't come soon enough.
Hang in Jill, lots of us love you - dare I say even the Aussies!!
I wonder what happened to Jamie D.
wish my fangs were longer :( always the female vampires that get the shorter fangs than the males -.- its not right. DISCRIMINATION I TELL YOU!
Jill, we've never really talked but when I see your name I get a warm feeling. I'm always interested in what you have to say.
Quote from: MacG on June 04, 2014, 12:34:41 AM
Whenever I see "WPATH" I think WarPATH!
Me too!
hmmm... what I was thinking? oh yeah, completely fried from the crazy ass day.
And.. tomorrow I'm going to try to go to a barber shop again. I'm way too stubborn to give up because a guy is an ass.
I'm thinking I missed more doses than I thought. Mess with my routine, get drunk a few times and this is what happens. I just found 3 dutasterides that I forgot to take this last week and I'm guessing I forgot my E and P more than once lately.
That's it. After the orchi, I'm switching to pellets.
Sorry if I've been a downer, folks.
You can't leave, it just wouldn't be the same. You certainly never brought me down, gave me things to think about though. Usually right after that you do something funny. Takes practice to post in just the right places so that it happens that way.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 04, 2014, 11:04:43 PM
I wonder what happened to Jamie D.
Jamie deleted their account. But i'm still in touch. They're doing fine. :) I can give them a message if you like.
Quote from: FA on June 05, 2014, 06:34:24 AM
Jamie deleted their account. But i'm still in touch. They're doing fine. :) I can give them a message if you like.
That's great! If you could, please tell Jamie that I was wondering about them and that I'm glad they are doing fine. It's kind of weird not seeing them around.
I'm thinking that I should have about 3 grand of my regular money (or at least I should). If I eventually combine that money for my top surgery fund, then hopefully I should only have to save up about 3500 more. I may just wind up doing that. I know I probably will actually if I can to save for my top surgery faster, but I'm not going to count that money officially as part of my top surgery fund....hence why it's called the regular money because I have to use it towards other things.
Now I know not to schedule more cleaning right after exercising and to give myself time to relax first. Good to know. Other than that, I'm doing good.
I keep thinking I'll spot SCP-1471 (http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1471) from the corner of my eye and in mirrors. It's very unnerving.
thinking why did i decide to wake up. well i'm thinking its time for bed again
Quote from: King Malachite on June 05, 2014, 08:12:31 AM
I'm thinking that I should have about 3 grand of my regular money (or at least I should). If I eventually combine that money for my top surgery fund, then hopefully I should only have to save up about 3500 more. I may just wind up doing that. I know I probably will actually if I can to save for my top surgery faster, but I'm not going to count that money officially as part of my top surgery fund....hence why it's called the regular money because I have to use it towards other things.
That sounds great, and it shouldn't be too hard to get the rest once you start working again. :)
Filler work tonite, I could probably refuse 5 hours of it, but I need the pay.
i'm thinking imma actually start saving for my voice surgery o.o thinking if all goes well, i can book it by december o.o
I think my hormones are falling back in whack. I feel much better today than I had been feeling the last few days.
Endocrinology must be akin to Voodoo.
Quote from: Jill F on June 05, 2014, 01:58:41 PM
I think my hormones are falling back in whack. I feel much better today than I had been feeling the last few days.
Endocrinology must be akin to Voodoo.
:icon_dance: :icon_drunk:
Apparently my homeowners insurance is now inadequate according to my bank due to rising values and costs. When will the bleeding stop?
Money does talk, but all it ever seems to say is "Goodbye." What's up with that?
Quote from: Jill F on June 05, 2014, 03:13:13 PM
Apparently my homeowners insurance is now inadequate according to my bank due to rising values and costs. When will the bleeding stop?
Money does talk, but all it ever seems to say is "Goodbye." What's up with that?
We're being subjected to extortion by the fears of what-if! What's even more disconcerting is that the bank owns the home, we just pay for it for them and if it's ever paid off then the state owns it and the land it's sitting on and so they tax us for using it twice a year. The reality is that while we are just passing through this place we get to be stewards of other people's money. We don't own jack Jill!
Quote from: Shantel on June 05, 2014, 05:11:44 PM
We're being subjected to extortion by the fears of what-if! What's even more disconcerting is that the bank owns the home, we just pay for it for them and if it's ever paid off then the state owns it and the land it's sitting on and so they tax us for using it twice a year. The reality is that while we are just passing through this place we get to be stewards of other people's money. We don't own jack Jill!
*spits out soda on monitor*
Yep, it's nothing more than a glorified rental, isn't it. I can take the title deed with me, right? Right? Oh well, at least I can paint it any color I want and enjoy my tiki bar. *le sigh* Oh well, t least I don't have a f***ing HOA in my neighborhood. That would have been a real dealbreaker.
Quote from: Jill F on June 05, 2014, 05:37:06 PM*spits out soda on monitor*
Yep, it's nothing more than a glorified rental, isn't it. I can take the title deed with me, right? Right? Oh well, at least I can paint it any color I want and enjoy my tiki bar. *le sigh* Oh well, t least I don't have a f***ing HOA in my neighborhood. That would have been a real dealbreaker.
Living in Florida, I lived on Palmettoglen Street. PALM. So mom wanted to plant a palm or four.
HOA says no.
W..W..WTF?
i'm thinking this headache is caused by my fangs hurting. the horrible pain
Quote from: Jill F on June 05, 2014, 05:37:06 PM
Oh well, t least I don't have a f***ing HOA in my neighborhood. That would have been a real dealbreaker.
Me either, I couldn't live in a neighborhood where some self important pinheads would be dictating what color my house would have to be (they tend to like vanilla to suit their own lack of personality). Or what kind of flora I had in my yard like Lauren and her mom has to contend with.
Quote from: Shantel on June 05, 2014, 06:00:08 PM
Me either, I couldn't live in a neighborhood where some self important pinheads would be dictating what color my house would have to be (they tend to like vanilla to suit their own lack of personality). Or what kind of flora I had in my yard like Lauren and her mom has to contend with.
My parents lived in a neighborhood like that once and were threatened with a fine for, get this- a blue garden hose. Apparently they all had to be green. Seriously? I can't stand officious douchebags with nothing better to do than selectively enforce petty, arbitrary rules. I have a friend who found the solution was to become president of the HOA and just say, "F*** the stupid, senseless rules!"
Quote from: Jill F on June 05, 2014, 06:09:32 PM
My parents lived in a neighborhood like that once and were threatened with a fine for, get this- a blue garden hose. Apparently they all had to be green. Seriously? I can't stand officious douchebags with nothing better to do than selectively enforce petty, arbitrary rules. I have a friend who found the solution was to become president of the HOA and just say, "F*** the stupid, senseless rules!"
LOL just acting like a mini version of Congress. Some people are just driven with a need to lord it over other people and make rules for their lives. Don't get me going here!
Quote from: Shantel on June 05, 2014, 06:15:49 PM
LOL just acting like a mini version of Congress. Some people are just driven with a need to lord it over other people and make rules for their lives. Don't get me going here!
Congress is clearly the opposite of progress...
Well, I remembered where I hid away $1.50.
In half dollars. All 1971 and 1991, so after they became Cu-Ni rather than Ag, so it's OKish to spend them.
If I walk the 3.4 miles, I can skip the $1.20 charge and save that for the bus to the therapist on Saturday, and it works out to $7.50 between the two of them. Leaving me with 7 cents.
What's up with that, 7 cents in my savings account, 7 cents in my checking account, and then 7 cents in my wallet.
Called dad in regards to a bailout but he didn't pick up.
OMG! i think i might have shakira's hips o.o
My son keeps repeating nonsense words over and over again. I wonder if that's an autism thing.
MY HAIR IS ALMOST 2 INCHES! 1 more inch to go than i can get extensions :laugh:
Quote from: Nimrata (aka LH) on June 05, 2014, 12:04:41 PM
That sounds great, and it shouldn't be too hard to get the rest once you start working again. :)
Lets hope so. :D
Quote from: Edge on June 05, 2014, 08:55:06 PMMy son keeps repeating nonsense words over and over again. I wonder if that's an autism thing.
It indeed tends to be. I believe it's more closely linked with Asperger's and higher functioning autism. Not sure what the specifics of your son's case are. Nor do I need you to tell me. The closest I got to being a psychologist was making psychology my major, then hating it, and ended up flunking psych 101 somehow, so I'm definitely not qualified.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 05, 2014, 09:07:04 PMMY HAIR IS ALMOST 2 INCHES! 1 more inch to go than i can get extensions :laugh:
Wish I could afford them. I'm around 7 inches now, and hate wearing a wig. It'd be long enough if my face was OK, but I'd like a foot, if not 18 inches, before I ditch the wig.
I'd also like the hairline to be fixed, it's not as bad as Andrés Iniesta (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/aa/Andr%C3%A9s_Iniesta_Euro_2012_final.jpg) (he's not old, he's 30, and that pic is from when he was 28) but I don't like it, certainly not great if I pull it back.
Quote from: Lauren5 on June 05, 2014, 09:46:58 PM
Wish I could afford them. I'm around 7 inches now, and hate wearing a wig. It'd be long enough if my face was OK, but I'd like a foot, if not 18 inches, before I ditch the wig.
I'd also like the hairline to be fixed, it's not as bad as Andrés Iniesta (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/aa/Andr%C3%A9s_Iniesta_Euro_2012_final.jpg) (he's not old, he's 30, and that pic is from when he was 28) but I don't like it, certainly not great if I pull it back.
i cant afford them either but i do odd jobs here and there so i can save up a little bit to get them. i have a few more months though before i can actually get them. lol
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 05, 2014, 09:57:58 PMi cant afford them either but i do odd jobs here and there so i can save up a little bit to get them. i have a few more months though before i can actually get them. lol
I'm currently trying to find just one source of employment, then I'll focus on a second, possibly a third, to try and get surgery in a similar timeframe. Looking at the January or February timeframe. I know with the wages I'll be earning, I won't be able to make all of it by then, even with three jobs, but I should be able to pay for te surgery itself. Dad said he'd be willing to help out some, the lodging and flight costs should be manageable in comparison.
Quote from: Lauren5 on June 05, 2014, 10:21:28 PM
I'm currently trying to find just one source of employment, then I'll focus on a second, possibly a third, to try and get surgery in a similar timeframe. Looking at the January or February timeframe. I know with the wages I'll be earning, I won't be able to make all of it by then, even with three jobs, but I should be able to pay for te surgery itself. Dad said he'd be willing to help out some, the lodging and flight costs should be manageable in comparison.
i'm holding out hope that these cases are successful meaning i can get all my surgeries without worrying. i cant get a job unless i transition because they see right through me o:
I can't believe it. I am literally sitting here watching paint dry.
I can't rest until I do the dishes. I'm listening to a sermon right now and really don't feel like taking the laptop into the kitchen, but I won't be able to enjoy the sermon if I have the dishes on my mind. I'm going to take the laptop in there.
My boss man wants me to come in today to work the same schedule I did yesterday.
My package should be here by the end of the day! Yay!
I'm going to wash the dishes now.
My bolooveeus is in fine shape.
Finished washing the dishes
I'm not the only one who hates doing dishes. Good thing I have paper ones.
I'm thinking it's time for a glass of water, my teddy bears and sleepy time. I want to wake up early tomorrow so I can reward myself with a few hours of guitar shredding. I have nothing to do tomorrow except get groceries and have laser done on mah face. All my housework is done, the bills are paid and my ducks are in a row (Hi, little duckies!). It's nice to have all my sh*t together, and now I can have some "me" time to play and not feel guilty for slacking off.
I literally can't stop shaking right now...note to self: wondering around town at 2 AM is prolly not the best idea.
all i'm smelling and tasting is iron. o: geez, it taste like blood in my mouth without the bleeding -.- i'm thinking this is getting annoying
I'm not sure if it's alcohol, mental illness, or raging hormones that are affecting me like this but I suddenly see beauty in everything.
I want to feel something intense right now. There's one boy in particular my mind keeps going back to, everytime I see him and hear him laugh, especially, i quake. And I know he likes me, too, but it's complicated. But I just want to love him and I fantasize about lying in bed with him and holding my mouth over his and feeling each others breath against our lips. I've had lots of sex but I've never actually genuinely "made love" and I want to so badly.
bedtime
WTF! why to hell does everyone look at me like i'm a piece of meat? this is why i stay in the house. i feel like i might be jumped in a dark alley for no absolute reason. just the thought of it is making me nauseous and shaky :'(
I'm thinking about some information I received last night. I don't know what to think of it.
I thought I was over something. I guess I'm not. Crap.
And now I want to talk about feelings. Ugh.
My package has arrived....and I wore it. Nothing like a Ted bear onesie to radiate manliness.
i think i might bite mal and turn him into a vampire xD jk! hahahah!
Bearpire :D
Quote from: King Malachite on June 06, 2014, 05:48:37 PM
Bearpire :D
*bares fangs* >:-) but bears and vamps dont get along xD
Tomorrow's first time doing Escrima and I'm psyched, but I want to go raid the fridge, listen to Mandy Moore and have a bath as I plan my Black Cat cosplay...
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 06, 2014, 05:51:32 PM
*bares fangs* >:-) but bears and vamps dont get along xD
They do if you're Malachite. :)
Quote from: King Malachite on June 06, 2014, 06:34:42 PM
They do if you're Malachite. :)
sry, my children might try to eat you alive xD i'll think about it. being turned by the queen of the undead makes you stronger than most xD
I am thinking there is a fine line between reality and uh................. ;D
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx linb]k=topic=164466.msg1443734#msg1443734 date=1402097777]
sry, my children might try to eat you alive[/b] xD i'll think about it. being turned by the queen of the undead makes you stronger than most xD
Well....there's enough of me to go around....
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 06, 2014, 06:38:14 PM
I am thinking there is a fine line between reality and uh................. ;D
*sings royals by lorde* lemme live that fantasy xD
Quote from: King Malachite on June 06, 2014, 06:41:00 PM
Well....there's enough of me to go around....
....................*goes back into my coffin* your fired mal lol
Lol...my mom told my dad to hold off on buying something and he did it anyway. I came in and she goes "where did you go?" I said "Hardware store." She says "Why?" I told her what he got, and she goes "......" and walks outside, comes back and goes "where the hell is he??"
People gon' get cut.
I think after his thread the other day, I'm more aware I came here because "birkin " made a post.
And I do hope I Haven't triggered someone by pm subject matter. A realy Am perplexed as to why I Cant find the sexuality thread :/
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 06, 2014, 06:41:20 PM
*sings royals by lorde* lemme live that fantasy xD ....................*goes back into my coffin* your fired mal lol
Sorry to disappoint, lol. :P
My boss man wants me in at 11:00 a.m. tomorrow. It's going to be a busy day with a lot of people since it's Saturday. I guess I better brace myself. I may not like my job, but I'm getting used to it. In my down time I play my GBA. When I'm in the playhouse and no one is there, I play some basket ball or even get in the bouncey house (just started that, but it's not something I'm going to do often). I find that as long as no one coughs or sneezes in my face then I won't get as irritated as much, but it's because of that is why I try to strap kids in as quick as I can. I hope that hot mom comes back so I can strap her in..... or have some other beautiful female adults decide to jump.
I really need to brace for tomorrow though as my shoulder is a bit sore.
Quote from: ButterflyVickster on June 06, 2014, 09:12:46 PM
And I do hope I Haven't triggered someone by pm subject matter. A realy Am perplexed as to why I Cant find the sexuality thread :/
PM sent should help you find the thread.
huh. kinda blah this evening
I'm watching It and liking it so far. For some reason, Pennywise reminds me of Beetlejuice.
hahaha... I like the pennywise/bettlejuice comparison
i feel asleep and now i'm up. well now, time to go hunting xD
where did my avatar go? :o
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 06, 2014, 06:38:14 PM
I am thinking there is a fine line between reality and
An anthropomorphic porcupine slow dancing with an anthropomorphic squirrel.
Quote from: christopher on June 06, 2014, 11:48:37 PM
hahaha... I like the pennywise/bettlejuice comparison
Their voices and sense of humour are very similar.
Wondering why I can never complete my degree and why my son has to play T-Pain's Bootywork video on the xbox in the living room! If you haven't seen it before you should because it makes us laugh hysterically.
this guy is trouble but yet......i want that o.o
Quote from: Emo on June 07, 2014, 05:54:09 PM
Who? What? Huh?
i know this guy and he is super cute, but he is major trouble. i've just started to notice but i'm starting to like that trouble o.o
I'm thinking THANK GOD I wore a hoodie to my first aid class. It was hot as balls, but I wasn't aware how many times people would have to touch my chest area. I was partnered with 3 different guys (they kept the men and women separate to keep the women unmolested lol). They all felt my boobs. :( No one acted strangely about it and they seemed to remain comfortable gendering me male. I have never been so grateful that I am fat. But I am embarrassed at the idea that they may have felt my bra. With the hoodie they may have...if I just wore a tee, they certainly would have.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 07, 2014, 05:56:12 PM
i know this guy and he is super cute, but he is major trouble. i've just started to notice but i'm starting to like that trouble o.o
Uh oh. Starting to like bad boys huh? Lol jk.
Quote from: birkin on June 07, 2014, 05:58:49 PM
I'm thinking THANK GOD I wore a hoodie to my first aid class. It was hot as balls, but I wasn't aware how many times people would have to touch my chest area. I was partnered with 3 different guys (they kept the men and women separate to keep the women unmolested lol). They all felt my boobs. :( No one acted strangely about it and they seemed to remain comfortable gendering me male. I have never been so grateful that I am fat. But I am embarrassed at the idea that they may have felt my bra. With the hoodie they may have...if I just wore a tee, they certainly would have.
It's all good, fat guys sometimes have mighty big moobs so wtf huh?
Quote from: Emo on June 07, 2014, 06:00:54 PM
Uh oh. Starting to like bad boys huh? Lol jk.
all those bad boys turn out to be big'ol teddy bears ::)
Quote from: Shantel on June 07, 2014, 06:05:53 PM
It's all good, fat guys sometimes have mighty big moobs so wtf huh?
I'm not so much concerned about the presence of moobs as I am the way the bra feels. Obviously the bra makes the boobs into a different shape (and feel, when you push down) than if they were free hanging. Plus straps and the back of it. I really didn't get dysphoric when they patted me down because 2 of the 3 guys I was with were short, like me, and my weight or larger, so they had some boobies too lol. The only moment I felt really bad was when I saw the other guys wearing t shirts, some fairly tight, and here I was in this big hoodie.
Quote from: birkin on June 07, 2014, 06:12:55 PM
I'm not so much concerned about the presence of moobs as I am the way the bra feels. Obviously the bra makes the boobs into a different shape (and feel, when you push down) than if they were free hanging. Plus straps and the back of it. I really didn't get dysphoric when they patted me down because 2 of the 3 guys I was with were short, like me, and my weight or larger, so they had some boobies too lol. The only moment I felt really bad was when I saw the other guys wearing t shirts, some fairly tight, and here I was in this big hoodie.
I know How that feels, My sisters both in really short shirts and shorts, And I'm their I'm a really long shirt and a skirt with leggings.
Its not being dressed different that is the bother. Its knowing why sigh.... one day :P
Quote from: birkin on June 07, 2014, 06:12:55 PM
I'm not so much concerned about the presence of moobs as I am the way the bra feels. Obviously the bra makes the boobs into a different shape (and feel, when you push down) than if they were free hanging. Plus straps and the back of it. I really didn't get dysphoric when they patted me down because 2 of the 3 guys I was with were short, like me, and my weight or larger, so they had some boobies too lol. The only moment I felt really bad was when I saw the other guys wearing t shirts, some fairly tight, and here I was in this big hoodie.
So what, you passed and now it's all water under the bridge!
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 07, 2014, 06:07:35 PM
all those bad boys turn out to be big'ol teddy bears ::)
Lol. You know from experience?
Quote from: Shantel on June 07, 2014, 06:34:07 PM
So what, you passed and now it's all water under the bridge!
Yeah, it doesn't bother me too much, besides the fact I wish I could be as comfortable as the other men. Besides, they have no idea why I have a bra on. I know lots of cis men who have gynecomastia wear sports bras or other compression devices. And I've heard enough times of MTFs who still have all the guy parts, but have been on E a while, and are mistaken for FTM when they go in guy mode.
Quote from: ButterflyVickster on June 07, 2014, 06:27:55 PM
I know How that feels, My sisters both in really short shirts and shorts, And I'm their I'm a really long shirt and a skirt with leggings.
Its not being dressed different that is the bother. Its knowing why sigh.... one day :P
Yeah, one day, for us both. ;D I haven't wrapped my head around the fact that one day this won't be a concern anymore. It will take some time to adjust.
*any time your feeling alone, just put on your headphones* from the song headphones xD
I'm thinking that a pastrami sandwich needs to get in mah belly very soon. GAHHHHH! So fungry* right now.
(*fungry is a trademarked Jill-ism, meaning f***ing hungry.)
Quote from: Jill F on June 07, 2014, 07:41:21 PM
I'm thinking that a pastrami sandwich needs to get in mah belly very soon. GAHHHHH! So fungry* right now.
(*fungry is a trademarked Jill-ism, meaning f***ing hungry.)
LOL... Can't trademark a phrase that's been around since the dinosaurs roamed the earth :D
think i might go practice my belly dancing lol
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 07, 2014, 07:05:15 PM
*any time your feeling alone, just put on your headphones* from the song headphones xD
Anytime i feel anything, my headphones go on... They never come off.
I'm thinking that this hairdressers chairs are so comfy to sleep in right now. Not sure if this is a good idea or not thou
i'm thinking *i'm covering my ears like a kid, when your words mean nothing, i go la la la, i'm turning up the volume when you speak, cause if my heart can't block it, i'll find a way to block it, i go la la l* from Naughty Boy: la la la
i'm thinking i figured out what i am xD
I am thinking about how I need to take a shower, but I am afraid because I have a really bad sunburn and I know it'll hurt once the water hits it. :(
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 07, 2014, 09:15:43 PM
i'm thinking i figured out what i am xD
Good for you :)
I keep changing my mind.
Quote from: Nimrata (aka LH) on June 07, 2014, 09:28:23 PM
Good for you :)
I keep changing my mind.
i still feel like i dont belong but i might as well give it a shot lol
I'm thinking sunburn goes better with a cool bath than any temp shower.
I have no regrets about growing up in the era that I did. This has nothing to do with gender stuff. Just a general statement.
maybe.........hmm, i'm not really sure at this point :o
Thinking my time here is short. :(
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 08, 2014, 12:54:20 AM
Thinking my time here is short. :(
aww, why you gotta go and leave me, onee-chan lol
I'm thinking hindsight is 20-20, but why the f*** did I get big gawdy guy tattoos??? I should have been a wimp and got smaller tattoos.... They are about 10 years old so I guess I "forget they are there" and then see them in the mirror now and it is a little gross.
i might get butterflies my left hip
I was kinda thinking the one on my calf might be able to be turned into a butterfly, it covers my whole calf from the crook of my knee to my Achilles all heavy black lines. Military tattoo, so there is meaning to it, but yeah, it's just not feminine at all. The rest are a little more simple to fix up.
I have seen butterflies on hips and usually looks good, but it's also one that I've seen look tacky if not done right.
i thought about doing a full left side type of deal but that would be a little to much lol
i think i found the my song :o
What song?
I want to talk, but I'm afraid of being judged.
Quote from: Edge on June 08, 2014, 12:58:45 PM
What song?
I want to talk, but I'm afraid of being judged.
when she cries-britt nicole, but i rather the nightcore version though
why is that, onii-chan?
It's about a weakness and I don't like showing weakness.
Sometimes the greatest weakness, is not admitting the weakness exists.
Quote from: LordKAT on June 08, 2014, 01:38:58 PM
Sometimes the greatest weakness, is not admitting the weakness exists.
Very true, KAT.
I made a blog post about it. Chances are no one will read it or respond though. That's probably for the best. Show any sign of weakness and people will try to use it as a weapon. That won't work against me though.
i'm thinking i need to do aerobics but i'm not sure if it will help
I am thinking about breakfast.
Quote from: Emmaline on June 08, 2014, 03:44:59 PM
I am thinking about breakfast.
I'll have the vegetarian quiche with feta cheese.
i'm thinking about getting a tattoo on my stomach o.o
Right now I'm thinking I want to put my foot so far up Justin Bieber's a$$ that I end up wearing him as a shoe.
i'm thinking i should try the whole dating thing again.
Quote from: Edge on June 08, 2014, 02:37:56 PM
I made a blog post about it. Chances are no one will read it or respond though. That's probably for the best. Show any sign of weakness and people will try to use it as a weapon. That won't work against me though.
old rules universally applied
" Show any sign of weakness and people will try to use it as a weapon. " That is an old rule. It was true when you learned it and is true in some circumstances. But like most old rules, it isn't true all the time without exception.
//
what did I come here to think?
past time for bed
Quote from: christopher on June 09, 2014, 12:19:38 AM
past time for bed
Same.
My mother e-mailed me asking to get in touch again. I must admit I'm tempted for the sole purpose of seeing how much T has changed my voice and facial features from the point of view of someone who hasn't seen or heard me since before I started.
i'm trying to figure out why i am still up. either go to sleep or go prowling. ahh, i dont feel like get up -..-
I'm thinking that my electrolysis will never end. I had a full clearing last week 10 days ago, but last Friday, even after 3 hours there were still hairs to be removed. Am I just getting more fussy or have the hairs decided to fight back?
Aisla
Quote from: Aisla on June 09, 2014, 01:19:58 AM
I'm thinking that my electrolysis will never end. I had a full clearing last week 10 days ago, but last Friday, even after 3 hours there were still hairs to be removed. Am I just getting more fussy or have the hairs decided to fight back?
Aisla
Maybe they are trying for revenge. I trust that you and your electrologist will win the battle.
its just suddenly started raining. well, there goes my hunting for the night
just freaking call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm thinking of a spell to cast xD
I've been doing so well these past two weeks.
I made an appointment with a career counsellor to soup up my resume, applied to 7 new places, within a week I've had two interviews. I imagine at least one more will call back, if not more.
Took a course I needed for jobs this weekend, got my certificate.
It's all great but I wasted today. I can't lose focus - one more month of editing on my thesis, then all prep for defense and finally, graduation.
I'm going to an anime convention in a few weeks and it's the first one I've ever been to. I was/am planning on going as Izaya from Durarara!!, but my natural hair is too long and the wig I have access to looks terrible. I'm wondering if I should go with the terrible wig and hope someone knows how to make it look better or if I should cut my hair and possibly go through the awkward hair phase where it poofs out for a few weeks after.
Maybe I can ask for hair advice again around here.
thinking of turning this person into a frog -.-
Do you know the story of the frog and the scorpion?
Quote from: Edge on June 09, 2014, 10:57:21 PM
Do you know the story of the frog and the scorpion?
no, i dont, but i know turn someone into a frog or scorpion and step on them >:-) ;D
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 09, 2014, 10:58:52 PM
no, i dont, but i know turn someone into a frog or scorpion and step on them >:-) ;D
A scorpion asks a frog to carry him across the river. The frog initially is afraid that the scorpion will sting her, but the scorpion argues that if he were to sting her, he would drown. The frog agrees, but sure enough, they are halfway across the river when the scorpion stings her. When the frog asks why, the scorpion replies that it is it's nature.
Quote from: Edge on June 09, 2014, 11:06:18 PM
A scorpion asks a frog to carry him across the river. The frog initially is afraid that the scorpion will sting her, but the scorpion argues that if he were to sting her, he would drown. The frog agrees, but sure enough, they are halfway across the river when the scorpion stings her. When the frog asks why, the scorpion replies that it is it's nature.
so, i cant turn people into little bugs or creatures and step on them? booo! just like my dad xD he grounded me for using magic and turning one of my servants into an ant xD
Hmm? No, I was just telling a story. I recently rewatched The Devil's Carnival and it has a frog and scorpion part I was reminded of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqTQYGUhz_Y (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqTQYGUhz_Y)
so i can turn people into bugs?
Go nuts.
:o edge onii-chan is being suspicious again
I want to be a spit bug
///
my therapist waved her magic wand so I would sleep without nightmares tonight.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 09, 2014, 11:44:39 PM
:o edge onii-chan is being suspicious again
Again? Have I ever stopped?
Quote from: Edge on June 09, 2014, 11:51:43 PM
Again? Have I ever stopped?
your so evil! :'( :laugh:
I wanna be a spit bug
you're not turning me into a spit bug
<I pout>
Quote from: christopher on June 09, 2014, 11:54:51 PM
I wanna be a spit bug
you're not turning me into a spit bug
<I pout>
because edge onii-chan is being to suspicious. if i use my magic, he might of placed a timed bomb on me and it would exploded if i turn you into a bug lol
so....this is late night Susan's....
<sigh>
ok, I will turn myself into a spit bug
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhealthyhomegardening.com%2Fimages%2Fgardengeek%2Fspit_bugs_230646.jpg&hash=37985f23757064716c6537f830bddc10da807ea8)
It is freezing in my house. I wonder of spit bugs freeze into the spit.
not me. I'm a magic spit bug. my spit doesn't freeze.
nite nite all
Quote from: EmoAlice on June 10, 2014, 12:03:17 AM
so....this is late night Susan's....
Yes this is Susan's up late, fun for all the family.
Thinking why are reaserchers pumping so much money into the next penile enhancment pill, (put this spray up your nose for a longer sex session) but not into cancer reserch.
Life often provides an unexpected twist. Today I sat on a panel at a diversity conference presenting the male perspective on gender, business and social policy frameworks. Expected an uncomfortable time but the predominantly feminist audience liked the non binary perspective, the focus on male cultures, socialisation and the fact that gender is best understood as an individual identity rather than as a group identifier or social construct.. Really positive experience. Suspect that sooner rather than later I will need to be authentic and tell them that I am a non binary TG. Their reaction will be interesting.
Aisla
Doing a psych project (a song) on Gender Dysphoria, this should be fun, and other than that I'm buried to the knees in HW...
Some days I really just wanna die. When i cut I feel so close to it...it'd just be a matter of flipping my arm over and applying a little more pressure and it'd all be over. I like to trace along where I'd cut very lightly and ohh my god thinking about it gives me butterflies and makes my heart race faster...how close I am to some silence.
But I don't of course. Prolly because I'm a coward. But what else can I do really? Just gotta pick myself up off the bathroom floor really. Go to the mirror, wipe the tears away. Fix my makeup. Practice my prettiest smile and go back out and pretend I'm okay. That never happened as far as anyone needs to know. I'm not supposed to feel things. Just smile pretty and spread my legs for the gents, cuz that's my job. Make it look good. If you're not happy fake it.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 10, 2014, 12:22:08 AM
Yes this is Susan's up late, fun for all the family.
Thinking why are reaserchers pumping so much money into the next penile enhancment pill, (put this spray up your nose for a longer sex session) but not into cancer reserch.
They don't want to find a cure, there's too much money to be made campaigning and running for the cure, too many big paying jobs at stake, besides boner meds is yet another big money maker and one can enjoy extended sex while waiting to die.
I'm thinking my cat is trying to drive me crazy
one more week to go. just one more friggin week. the anxiety is killing me here
Quote from: christopher on June 10, 2014, 09:27:59 AM
I'm thinking my cat is trying to drive me crazy
It's a cat that's what there suppose to do to their staff. (Yes Chris your cat considers you a member of its staff)
Quote from: Shantel on June 10, 2014, 08:29:54 AM
They don't want to find a cure, there's too much money to be made campaigning and running for the cure, too many big paying jobs at stake, besides boner meds is yet another big money maker and one can enjoy extended sex while waiting to die.
Oh the makers of the film idiocracy might be so close to the truth it is very scary. Must remember what I say around some people for the next few days less I be opening my mouth only to insert my other foot.
I finally took a bad ass selfie woot!
i may just cry until my eyes become sore
Was it the fish or the past-its-prime chocolate torte that made us sick the last two days?
I really can't stand people who are intolerant to others.
cant wait until my laptop gets out of the shop. gonna try to get a therapy session in to get my letters of reccomendations. so i can apply for top surgery schlorship
Quote from: Jenny07 on June 10, 2014, 04:19:40 PM
I really can't stand people who are intolerant to others.
I can't tolerate other people's intolerance either! :icon_peace:
Well, some folks are lactose intolerant and others just don't have much interest in eating other people :D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeDLzTObXFY&feature=kp
i think imma just sleep until i feel better
Ugh, I went for 10 min walk and have 5 mosquito bites. And that was just to the store!
Quote from: birkin on June 10, 2014, 06:49:14 PM
Ugh, I went for 10 min walk and have 5 mosquito bites. And that was just to the store!
Nice to know you're loved! ;D
Quote from: Shantel on June 10, 2014, 07:10:26 PM
Nice to know you're loved! ;D
I'd rather have other things swarming me besides mosquitos though! Like pretty girls. Somehow, I doubt that will happen lol.
Speaking of pretty girls, I don't know why, but this summer I just seem to notice them more than I ever have. I also seem to have stopped being a "boob man" and started being an "ass man."
Quote from: birkin on June 10, 2014, 07:12:08 PM
I'd rather have other things swarming me besides mosquitos though! Like pretty girls. Somehow, I doubt that will happen lol.
Speaking of pretty girls, I don't know why, but this summer I just seem to notice them more than I ever have. I also seem to have stopped being a "boob man" and started being an "ass man."
:o i get jealous of the boobs lol already got the butt xD
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 10, 2014, 07:21:55 PM
:o i get jealous of the boobs lol already got the butt xD
Pics or it didn't happen! ;) (lol jk)
Quote from: birkin on June 10, 2014, 07:29:17 PM
Pics or it didn't happen! ;) (lol jk)
xD later maybe xD HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! ;D
A friend and I use to joke the only way we could leave a former work place is with six people carrying us. After hearing about two former colleagues passing in tragic circumstances in successive days. That joke doesn't seem as funny anymore.
total deja vu moment
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 10, 2014, 12:16:51 PM
It's a cat that's what there suppose to do to their staff. (Yes Chris your cat considers you a member of its staff)
Oh the makers of the film idiocracy might be so close to the truth it is very scary. Must remember what I say around some people for the next few days less I be opening my mouth only to insert my other foot.
Of course
no one is thinking!
I am. I'm thinking a bunch of stuff most of which I either can't talk about in public or am unable to put into words or really figure out what I'm thinking.
whew.
I should go back to your blog and see if you posted more
I'm also thinking that if my neck is totally hosed up tomorrow I'm gonna sue that stupid elk. lol
Wonders at the value of suing an elk. Do they ever recompensate you for your injuries?
Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.
Quote from: Jill F on June 11, 2014, 07:22:18 AM
Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.
Just feed the clowns to the monster under the bed. I always liked that guy.
Wondering why it is, that just when you have figured out the meaning of a TG life well lived, that an innocent comment, an uncomfortable pause, or a quizzical look takes that certainty....
and just when you have figured out that you really are blessed to be trans, to be the product of nature and are faced with a life of boundless possibility that you consider that there is another possibility - that you are just a cosmic joke, nature's attempt at humour, or an inconvenient gender to those who think in binary terms....
and just when you say stop, stop overthinking this, just pause, breathe and be present .... Your mind races away and disturbs your momentary peace and sense of equilibrium ....
and then it is time to try to find an untroubled sleep ...... and start over.
...thinking that if Jill F is crazy, then so am I. It is OK though, Sanity is overrated.
Quote from: birkin on June 10, 2014, 07:12:08 PM
I'd rather have other things swarming me besides mosquitos though! Like pretty girls. Somehow, I doubt that will happen lol.
Speaking of pretty girls, I don't know why, but this summer I just seem to notice them more than I ever have. I also seem to have stopped being a "boob man" and started being an "ass man."
Sheeeeeesh you have the attributes of a total man, extremely visual and focused on female body parts now! Ummm so I wonder if this means that I should use a butt photo for my avatar?
Quote from: Jill F on June 11, 2014, 07:22:18 AM
Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.
Killer clowns from outer space? Hide all the straws!
Quote from: Shantel on June 11, 2014, 08:41:48 AM
Sheeeeeesh you have the attributes of a total man, extremely visual and focused on female body parts now! Ummm so I wonder if this means that I should use a butt photo for my avatar?
Lol! Oh auntie, I will always be an incestuous boob man for you. :*
Remind me not to post a full body pick so birkin doesnt start staring and start drooling xD
Quote from: birkin on June 11, 2014, 01:45:00 PMLol! Oh auntie, I will always be an incestuous boob man for you. :*
I read that as Oh aunteeeeeee lah, I always be incestuous boob man for you, lah.
Been talking way too much with my Fillipina friend from Singapore, I'm starting to read everything in Singlish :P
i'm thinking high school never ends
It's a wonderful thing having been a "handyman" in a past life and just saved myself a hundred bucks or two.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 11, 2014, 03:06:54 PM
i'm thinking high school never ends
High school will end. Eventually!
Learning, well for the smarties never
Mmm think I might pick up a pack of smarties before work this morning
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 11, 2014, 03:42:45 PM
High school will end. Eventually!
Learning, well for the smarties never
Mmm think I might pick up a pack of smarties before work this morning
no people are still just as obsessed with who's the best dressed and who's having sex.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 11, 2014, 03:47:50 PM
no people are still just as obsessed with who's the best dressed and who's having sex.
But you can walk away from them.
Quote from: Edge on June 11, 2014, 04:24:35 PM
But you can walk away from them.
unfortunately, i'm one of those people lol
If you don't like it, change it. If you do like it, learn to accept that and enjoy it.
So hungry today. =/ I mean, like crazy.
I made chicken thighs and coated them in onion soup mix and bread crumbs, with a bit of pepper. Hope it doesn't taste like crap.
i'm thinking my butt is starting to hurt -.- to much sitting uncomfortably
Quote from: birkin on June 11, 2014, 05:36:16 PM
So hungry today. =/ I mean, like crazy.
I made chicken thighs and coated them in onion soup mix and bread crumbs, with a bit of pepper. Hope it doesn't taste like crap.
Sounds like it will be pretty tasty! We'll need a follow-up report from the chef.
I'm feeling extra snarky today. What crawled up my butt?
I'm reading about microaggressions. You know, before I transitioned, there were microaggressions, but they seemed so small and insignificant next to the really big things I was dealing with. Like larger scale incidences of discrimination. Or the fear for my well-being because I "stood out." Or the fact that I was just trying to get on with the transition already.
Now it's like ugh. I blend in but people have a way of finding out, thanks to people who think it's OK to out me without my consent. Hell I even had someone do it after I explicitly told him I hate when other people out me >:( I preferred straight up ignorance because I could call people out on their BS. But microaggressions, it's hard, without looking like you're overreacting. But it's hurtful, and I need to find a way to deal with the emotions they bring up.
I've been thinking about a crush but, considering I'm not a real man yet, I can't pursue her.
Doesn't help that she likes this other guy I know too.
Quote from: Marcel on June 12, 2014, 07:40:15 AM
I've been thinking about a crush but, considering I'm not a real man yet, I can't pursue her.
Doesn't help that she likes this other guy I know too.
You are a real man. Just cause it don't look like it to the rest of the world doesn't make who you are any less real.
My tooth has that familiar ache. Suspect root canal therapy is in my immediate future!
Quote from: LordKAT on June 12, 2014, 07:44:02 AM
You are a real man. Just cause it don't look like it to the rest of the world doesn't make who you are any less real.
You're right. However, I can't expect myself to find love when I'm not even on testosterone yet.
Just don't expect yourself not to either. Love is funny, it finds you when it finds you. Cupid doesn't reserve arrows for those who look exactly as pictured only, but for anyone that fits his fancy at the time.
I'm thinking it's time for a new (old) avatar.
So, that's my old DL pic, and the one I currently use in front. I always thought I looked kinda girly in that one, and it made me think drink.
Quote from: Jill F on June 12, 2014, 07:17:41 PM
I'm thinking it's time for a new (old) avatar.
So, that's my old DL pic, and the one I currently use in front. I always thought I looked kinda girly in that one, and it made me think drink.
It's that time isn't it? ;D
thinking about buying a fake beer mug
Quote from: King Malachite on June 12, 2014, 07:40:36 PM
thinking about buying a fake beer mug
A fake mug, or a mug for fake beer?
Quote from: Jill F on June 12, 2014, 07:43:21 PM
A fake mug, or a mug for fake beer?
a fake mug that looks like it has beer in it
WITHIN TEMPTATION DID A SONG?
WITH TARJA TURUNEN?
MANY MONTHS AGO
HOW DID I NOT KNOW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy6MpsDPKts
That's good question. Shame on you, Caleb. (I kid.)
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 13, 2014, 01:23:04 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi60.tinypic.com%2F2r6p3zd.jpg&hash=4ea3d555e1dfa1b5d184513fa28d017eab94629d)
What the hell is that thing doing?
Its 3 am, i cant sleep and i'm trying to stay off my sleeping pill
Face red and swollen. 3 hours of galvanic has that effect on me. TGIF and I can sleep in tomorrow after getting up early to watch the World Cup
i'm thinking why do i feel like this
I'm thinking I don't need or deserve anyone's understanding or acceptance and should learn to shut up.
Boss man wants me in from 11:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. ....longer than what I originally thought I was going to work. Oh well, I need the hours, and those hours can go towards buying a book that I have been interested in getting for a while.
Now I;m thinking that if I brought every book that's about reconciling homosexuality and Christianity, then I could never save up, lol. Thankfully, there's a lot of good information about that online, and with me hating to read books so much, I may not get my money out of them. I do want to read "Torn" though and "God and the Gay Christian" (though I'm more interested in "Torn").
Where's Alainaluvsu ???
Is it wrong to use cutouts of various cartoon characters for target practice?
Not at all... :)
It's my birthday and I'm thinking about how my parents will react when I come out the closet.
Quote from: Marcel on June 14, 2014, 09:21:32 AM
It's my birthday and I'm thinking about how my parents will react when I come out the closet.
Happy birthday. Try not to overthink what their reaction will be. You can't change whatever it is, you can only decide what your response will be.
Quote from: Marcel on June 14, 2014, 09:21:32 AM
It's my birthday and I'm thinking about how my parents will react when I come out the closet.
Happy birthday Marcel! :icon_birthday: Like the Kat says, don't sweat it, enjoy the day! Parents don't usually trash the child mom carried in her womb close to her heart for nine months and nurtured for years. They can act disappointed but they'll get over it.
Happy birthday Marcel and good luck.
Thanks Edge!
Quote from: LordKAT on June 14, 2014, 09:26:55 AM
Happy birthday. Try not to overthink what their reaction will be. You can't change whatever it is, you can only decide what your response will be.
I'm doing it via letters since I can organize what I can say and show that this isn't something that occurred to me overnight. They pretended that me being "lesbian" (they assumed it was this) means that its just a sexual orientation and didn't let me get short hair, more tomboyish clothes or even tattoos.
Quote from: Shantel on June 14, 2014, 09:42:28 AM
Happy birthday Marcel! :icon_birthday: Like the Kat says, don't sweat it, enjoy the day! Parents don't usually trash the child mom carried in her womb close to her heart for nine months and nurtured for years. They can act disappointed but they'll get over it.
Yeah, I'm expecting nothing short of disappointment, denial and possibly taking me to a therapist. I'm more worried about my mother since I'm the only other "girl" in the family and she always wanted a daughter to get their hair done and shop with. This is basically telling her that she failed as a parent; she already feels ashamed of me not acting like the daughter she wanted.
Quote from: Marcel on June 14, 2014, 10:41:05 AM
Yeah, I'm expecting nothing short of disappointment, denial and possibly taking me to a therapist. I'm more worried about my mother since I'm the only other "girl" in the family and she always wanted a daughter to get their hair done and shop with. This is basically telling her that she failed as a parent; she already feels ashamed of me not acting like the daughter she wanted.
It's always so unfortunate the way parent's and especially mom's take it as a personal failure when their child decides to do something that is outside of the expected norm. After all she did everything just right, how would she know or even be remotely responsible for your decisions about your own life? You need to convey that line of thought to her in a loving and respectful manner when the time comes.
thinking i might pass out from this giggling fit! cant believe i finally found my answer. :laugh:
Quote from: Shantel on June 14, 2014, 10:45:48 AM
It's always so unfortunate the way parent's and especially mom's take it as a personal failure when their child decides to do something that is outside of the expected norm. After all she did everything just right, how would she know or even be remotely responsible for your decisions about your own life? You need to convey that line of thought to her in a loving and respectful manner when the time comes.
Yeah, we're immigrants and transgender is unheard of so this makes it harder.
My grandpa thinks I'm gay? wtf? Like as in he asked me which gender I prefer today. I thought my love of women was well-established...
my hips are driving me bananas. first they look slim and now they look like........idk what to call them. -.- well guess i have to mark wendy's off my list of foods not to eat anymore.
Daydreaming that I'm a suave young man that knows how to charm women.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 14, 2014, 11:51:16 PM
Daydreaming that I'm a suave young man that knows how to charm women.
*coughs* xD ::) keep daydreaming bucko xD HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 14, 2014, 11:55:35 PM
*coughs* xD ::) keep daydreaming bucko xD HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sadly :/
hi all
I really need to go to bed. this is stupid
Quote from: LordKAT on June 11, 2014, 07:10:55 AM
Wonders at the value of suing an elk. Do they ever recompensate you for your injuries?
heh, it opens right where you left off. I will settle for a pair of antlers. do you want to arbitrate between the elk and i?
Quote from: King Malachite on June 15, 2014, 12:07:08 AM
sadly :/
you know i love you, so i have to tell the truth xD hahahah!!!!!!!! :laugh: i'm just yanking your chain. you'll get the eventually *coughs* xD
Quote from: King Malachite on June 14, 2014, 11:51:16 PM
Daydreaming that I'm a suave young man that knows how to charm women.
lol I have been so lonely, I wish I could charm people. I think I charmed one girl recently but I don't know for sure. Even if I did, with what's going on with my body I wouldn't pursue it. Plus I has someone I love. <3
I am trying this site called blahtherapy. You can listen to a stranger vent or you can vent about something to a stranger. I want to be a listener tonight.
I'm thinking about spiritual type stuff. I was also wondering while typing that if it makes me sound like some flakey, new agey person. I think I may be too rigid in my standards.
I feel pretty good actually. I reminded myself that I went through a heck of a lot alone and I can go through everything else alone. (Not a euphemism. I hate that I have to add that it's not a euphemism. Seriously, what kind of weakling thinks alone means "without an S.O." instead of actually alone?) It'll be hard at first, but there's nothing I can't do.
I'm day dreaming about being me. I love being me.
I'm thinking if I'm not careful enough I will say too much here. That I should make sure I'm not likely to be found here.
Quote from: christopher on June 15, 2014, 12:23:24 AM
I'm thinking if I'm not careful enough I will say too much here. That I should make sure I'm not likely to be found here.
what dirty little secret your keeping from me this time? xD hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!1
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 15, 2014, 12:12:48 AM
you know i love you, so i have to tell the truth xD hahahah!!!!!!!! :laugh: i'm just yanking your chain. you'll get the eventually *coughs* xD
meh, no comment, lol
Quote from: birkin on June 15, 2014, 12:13:31 AM
lol I have been so lonely, I wish I could charm people. I think I charmed one girl recently but I don't know for sure. Even if I did, with what's going on with my body I wouldn't pursue it. Plus I has someone I love. <3
I am trying this site called blahtherapy. You can listen to a stranger vent or you can vent about something to a stranger. I want to be a listener tonight.
Haha, that blahtherapy sounds very interesting. I may need to check that out some time. It's seems to be much cheaper than venting to a bartender if I were a drinking person.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 14, 2014, 11:51:16 PM
Daydreaming that I'm a suave young man that knows how to charm women.
You have charmed me more than once
Will a former bartender count?
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 15, 2014, 12:27:35 AM
You have charmed me more than once
Will a former bartender count?
That depends, are you selling drinks on the side? :D
Quote from: King Malachite on June 15, 2014, 12:26:04 AM
meh, no comment, lol
Haha, that blahtherapy sounds very interesting. I may need to check that out some time. It's seems to be much cheaper than venting to a bartender if I were a drinking person.
It's fun! Just started chatting with a guy who hates his job but, he has so much going for him! Like his future is totally set up and if he can tough it out a few more months his life is going to be awesome.
I want to vent but I dunno.
Quote from: birkin on June 15, 2014, 12:33:26 AM
It's fun! Just started chatting with a guy who hates his job but, he has so much going for him! Like his future is totally set up and if he can tough it out a few more months his life is going to be awesome.
I want to vent but I dunno.
Lol that's pretty sweet! I kind of want to vent myself but that would be weird for me to do. I say go for it yourself though. :D
Quote from: King Malachite on June 15, 2014, 12:32:32 AM
That depends, are you selling drinks on the side? :D
For you Virgin marys, with extra tabascoe on the house.
Hope you have a ladder
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 15, 2014, 12:48:26 AM
For you Virgin marys, with extra tabascoe on the house.
Hope you have a ladder
I think I'm scared now. >.>
You scare too easily.
why does my jaw keep clicking o.o
When I serve up drinks 'on the house', I literaly put them on the house.
Virgin mary= Tomato juice, wochtershire sauce, tabascoe, salt and pepper to taste. Pour over ice garnish with a celery stick.
Thats not so scary anymore is it
Quote from: Edge on June 15, 2014, 12:59:18 AM
You scare too easily.
Yes I do. :)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 15, 2014, 01:03:49 AM
When I serve up drinks 'on the house', I literaly put them on the house.
Virgin mary= Tomato juice, wochtershire sauce, tabascoe, salt and pepper to taste. Pour over ice garnish with a celery stick.
Thats not so scary anymore is it
Lol probably even more scary......or rather yucky. I'll just take a soda or energy drink. :D
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 15, 2014, 01:03:49 AM
When I serve up drinks 'on the house', I literaly put them on the house.
Virgin mary= Tomato juice, wochtershire sauce, tabascoe, salt and pepper to taste. Pour over ice garnish with a celery stick.
Thats not so scary anymore is it
isnt that a bloody mary o.o
A bloody mary has vodka in it. A virgin mary does not.
I wonder what they'd call a bloody mary with blood in it.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 15, 2014, 12:36:13 AM
Lol that's pretty sweet! I kind of want to vent myself but that would be weird for me to do. I say go for it yourself though. :D
I'm doing it now lol. I'm telling some really personal stuff to this girl. She has some good ideas but in the end she was like "um I think you need a therapist" haha.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 15, 2014, 01:11:19 AM
isnt that a bloody mary o.o
No alcohol = virgin mary
Use Vodka = bloody mary
Use Tequilla = bloody margarita
Quote from: King Malachite on June 15, 2014, 01:09:39 AM
Yes I do. :)
Lol probably even more scary......or rather yucky. I'll just take a soda or energy drink. :D
Actually you are wise to be scared when I'm mixing drinks. I can make them so smooth you don't relise how much alcohol you are actually drinking untill it's way too late. This can make them highly dangerous
Bloody mary with blood in it? Truth in advertising! Ed Gien's choice
Oh bloody hell!!! Now I'm wishing I had a double of Jack with a Coke back... Bloody Mary sounds kinda tasty though
Quote from: Edge on June 15, 2014, 01:15:05 AM
A bloody mary has vodka in it. A virgin mary does not.
I wonder what they'd call a bloody mary with blood in it.
*fangs extend in ecstasy* omg, i'd call that pure deliciousness xD hahaha! lemme stop before i get the coco police called on me xD
Quote from: birkin on June 15, 2014, 01:18:51 AM
I'm doing it now lol. I'm telling some really personal stuff to this girl. She has some good ideas but in the end she was like "um I think you need a therapist" haha.
Awww, lol I got to admit, she probably did better than what I would. I'd probably just listen the whole time without saying much.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 15, 2014, 01:26:10 AM
No alcohol = virgin mary
Use Vodka = bloody mary
Use Tequilla = bloody margarita
Actually you are wise to be scared when I'm mixing drinks. I can make them so smooth you don't relise how much alcohol you are actually drinking untill it's way too late. This can make them highly dangerous
Bloody mary with blood in it? Truth in advertising! Ed Gien's choice
Lol good intuition on my part eh, ;) Bloody Mary makes me thing about Mary on the rag....
Quote from: King Malachite on June 15, 2014, 02:00:59 AM
Awww, lol I got to admit, she probably did better than what I would. I'd probably just listen the whole time without saying much.
Aww, she was so helpful. It turned out she was an older woman (I thought she was like 20 something but she's nearly 50), and at first had no idea how to help me because she had no familiarity with transgender people. But she stayed in the chat and kept trying to understand and put herself in my shoes, and she gave me some WONDERFUL suggestions on how to deal with some of the difficult people I encounter. In a way it was good that she didn't know about trans stuff because she had to look at it from an outside perspective, and focus on general aspects of respect and kindness rather than gender issues.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 15, 2014, 02:00:59 AM
Lol good intuition on my part eh, ;) Bloody Mary makes me thing about Mary on the rag....
Shhhhhh, don't get the vampire overly excited
Quote from: birkin on June 15, 2014, 02:08:41 AM
Aww, she was so helpful. It turned out she was an older woman (I thought she was like 20 something but she's nearly 50), and at first had no idea how to help me because she had no familiarity with transgender people. But she stayed in the chat and kept trying to understand and put herself in my shoes, and she gave me some WONDERFUL suggestions on how to deal with some of the difficult people I encounter. In a way it was good that she didn't know about trans stuff because she had to look at it from an outside perspective, and focus on general aspects of respect and kindness rather than gender issues.
That's good! Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our transition and gender stuff that we forget that there's a life outside of that. I wouldn't mind chatting with her one day.
Quote from: V M on June 15, 2014, 02:11:56 AM
Shhhhhh, don't get the vampire overly excited
Lol I don't know if vamp wants
that type of blood. :D
Quote from: V M on June 15, 2014, 02:11:56 AM
Shhhhhh, don't get the vampire overly excited
to late. my excitement has already peaked. to bad there isnt any people out right now. *sigh* xD
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 15, 2014, 02:29:04 AM
to late. my excitement has already peaked. to bad there isnt any people out right now. *sigh* xD
That just means you are not looking hard enough. Are we going to have to give you a refresher on how to be a true child of the night and darkness >:-)
Quote from: King Malachite on June 15, 2014, 02:13:39 AM
That's good! Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our transition and gender stuff that we forget that there's a life outside of that. I wouldn't mind chatting with her one day.
Lol I don't know if vamp wants that type of blood. :D
I am so grateful for the time and effort she put in. Sadly they set you up anonymously so the chance of me ever speaking with her again are small. What a nice lady though. There are kind, unselfish people out there.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 15, 2014, 02:38:09 AM
That just means you are not looking hard enough. Are we going to have to give you a refresher on how to be a true child of the night and darkness >:-)
i just dont get out much. i usually have one of my servants bring me my meal. lol
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 15, 2014, 02:54:44 AM
i just dont get out much. i usually have one of my servants bring me my meal. lol
Well best crack that whip. Would someone like to look at my range of weapons for sale. Fantastic prices for pretty vampire
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 15, 2014, 03:16:40 AM
Well best crack that whip. Would someone like to look at my range of weapons for sale. Fantastic prices for pretty vampire
o.o you know only pure silver based weapons would have an affect on me o.o i'm immune to sun light, staking, burning and i cant be hurt by weapons or even magic at that o.o xD
While you may wield them. Your children on the other hand >:-)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 15, 2014, 03:21:52 AM
While you may wield them. Your children on the other hand >:-)
true but those i personally turn are only affected by silver xD call it a gift from their queen though i can kill than easily with my magic xD hahaha!
All you have to do is wait by the window and listen for someone to fart and/or belch, then hide somewhere like under the porch steps until you wake up and wonder what you're doing there
People stop betting. I have a very early start tomorrow and I can't get a reading until you get off the machines.
(Grumble grumble World Cup grumble, can't complain least I'm working still mutter annoying people)
way is it us women get the short end of the stick -.- like seriously, why cant there be a reversal and let the men suffer xD
Why should anyone have to suffer?
Okay, get out a fold out ladder and sit at the top contemplating a light bulb at the ceiling until you fall asleep and wake up on the floor and wonder what you're doing there, and why is the ladder out?
Come close to that (not a ladder) and it is in no way fun (can sometimes be very scary, downright terrifying even). If that was you V M you have my sympathy
I'm thinking about the World Cup matches today.
Time to get my ass out of bed and head to Starbucks. Me needs coffee.
Quote from: MyKa on June 15, 2014, 09:36:43 AM
Time to get my ass out of bed and head to Starbucks. Me needs coffee.
Get me a tall Pike Place with room and a shot of cream while you're there hon!
Quote from: Shantel on June 15, 2014, 09:46:28 AM
Get me a tall Pike Place with room and a shot of cream while you're there hon!
Lol, wow never heard of this drink! I will have to look into it next time for yah :) white chocolate mocca extra shot for me yum.
Quote from: MyKa on June 15, 2014, 11:13:11 AM
Lol, wow never heard of this drink! I will have to look into it next time for yah :) white chocolate mocca extra shot for me yum.
Oh honey, that's not coffee that's desert and you'll be wearing it! They do taste delish though. Pike Place is where Starbucks originated here in Seattle so they named their signature dark roast after it.
Quote from: Shantel on June 15, 2014, 11:20:39 AM
Oh honey, that's not coffee that's desert and you'll be wearing it! They do taste delish though. Pike Place is where Starbucks originated here in Seattle so they named their signature dark roast after it.
:/ thank you for clarifying this for me
Depressed.
I got two really big and sore pimples. I'm also really hungry but we don't have anything desirable around. -_-
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on June 15, 2014, 03:46:10 PM
Depressed.
What fur? Did your porcupine lose her quills? Cheer up hon!
Quote from: Shantel on June 15, 2014, 03:53:39 PM
What fur? Did your porcupine lose her quills? Cheer up hon!
It's just been a depressing day. Nothing happened. It's just been this way.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on June 15, 2014, 03:56:41 PM
It's just been a depressing day. Nothing happened. It's just been this way.
((Hugs))
So my mom now knows about me being FtM now. She took it well but I don't think she understands the whole issue so now I'm thinking about how to clarify this to her because she said some ignorant things.
Quote from: Marcel on June 15, 2014, 06:42:31 PM
So my mom now knows about me being FtM now. She took it well but I don't think she understands the whole issue so now I'm thinking about how to clarify this to her because she said some ignorant things.
People in a state of shock sometimes say weird things, perhaps you should say that you feel like a boy and now you want to become one physically to match with your mental and spiritual persona.
Quote from: Shantel on June 15, 2014, 09:00:13 PM
People in a state of shock sometimes say weird things, perhaps you should say that you feel like a boy and now you want to become one physically to match with your mental and spiritual persona.
She wasn't that shocked. O__O
Her first response was "Oh, that's it?"
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 15, 2014, 12:24:19 AM
what dirty little secret your keeping from me this time? xD hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!1
nothing much :P
Quote from: christopher on June 15, 2014, 09:52:17 PM
nothing much :P
o.o your hiding something. i can smell it on ya xD hahaha!
My grandma said I was handsome. This coming from formerly transphobic grandma. I think she's come to realize that her being opposed to me no longer being a girl is a waste of her energy. I also think she knows I'd make such an ugly woman at this point that it would be horrible if I went back LOL.
Quote from: birkin on June 15, 2014, 10:16:41 PM
My grandma said I was handsome. This coming from formerly transphobic grandma. I think she's come to realize that her being opposed to me no longer being a girl is a waste of her energy. I also think she knows I'd make such an ugly woman at this point that it would be horrible if I went back LOL.
That's great! Good to hear that she's coming around.
Thanks Marcel! It only took her 5 years lol. She did admit to me that it's so much easier for her now that I look like a man. When I looked female she was scared of what other people would think of this "beautiful" (I was kind of hot sometimes, I'd do me I guess) girl becoming a guy. But now, everyone can see I'm male so she feels she has less to explain I guess. She's started opening up to her brothers and sisters about me.
As bad as things may get sometimes, never ask what else could go wrong, because right about then is when something else will F-up
do I bring the mutt?
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 15, 2014, 09:55:51 PM
o.o your hiding something. i can smell it on ya xD hahaha!
:icon_yikes:
Thinking about a potential job I might be getting.
Quote from: V M on June 16, 2014, 08:18:10 AM
As bad as things may get sometimes, never ask what else could go wrong, because right about then is when something else will F-up
Yup, these things usually come in threes!
I'm wondering if Caleb and anyone else from Alberta has seen this and if they're as excited as I am.
http://globalnews.ca/news/1395508/alberta-gives-new-birth-certificate-to-12-year-old-boy-who-was-born-a-girl/?utm_source=Article&utm_medium=MostPopular&utm_campaign=2014 (http://globalnews.ca/news/1395508/alberta-gives-new-birth-certificate-to-12-year-old-boy-who-was-born-a-girl/?utm_source=Article&utm_medium=MostPopular&utm_campaign=2014)
I did see that. I think it is great! I hope they get on with changing the procedure so I can change mine. I'm having surgery soon anyway but it will be nice to have it done anyway.
Indeed. I plan on getting surgery eventually, but considering how poor I am and the fact that it's not covered in the province I'm living in, it's going to take a few years. Since my birth certificate is from Alberta, I can at least get that changed sooner.
Quote from: Shantel on June 15, 2014, 04:00:43 PM
((Hugs))
Things are better today. I don't know why it happens, but the depression pops up from time to time. It's totally weird how it is.
Quote from: Edge on June 16, 2014, 01:17:36 PM
Indeed. I plan on getting surgery eventually, but considering how poor I am and the fact that it's not covered in the province I'm living in, it's going to take a few years. Since my birth certificate is from Alberta, I can at least get that changed sooner.
Yeah. Also, on the topic of that kid (as I know he's been in a few news stories now), I have to question his parents' judgment as well as the media that cover these stories. I am glad that he is being accepted by them and they are supporting him and trying to make a difference and raise awareness, but what happens if he wants to be stealth one day? And he very well might be. Being the "trans one" can really weigh down on someone and at some point in his life, he may want a reprieve.
In other news, I have purchased some very juicy apricots lol. I've made a big mess. I also got some radishes which I haven't had in forever and some carrot and celery.
I'm so confused. Do I use my new name or old? I'm afraid that if I use my new name it will complicate things. But if I use my old name does that mean I'm not using my legal name? But that's the whole point is I haven't been able to change my name with social security, just with the state.
trying to get this stupid letter done so I can send it and prove I'm a US citizen and finally change my name with social security. And it's going to cost $50, plus the cost of a notary.
I swear, nothing in my life is normal. why couldn't I have US birth certificate. harumph. heh.
paperwork makes me grumpy.
Thinking of a male name to use that goes with my strange last name. In the end, I decided to go with Daniel. I also discovered a place where I can get gender therapy, bloodwork and hormone therapy at little to no cost. Transitioning is apparently closer than I thought!
I wish I had a chocolate chip cookie or two right now, but I'm out of flour.
Chips Ahoy!?
Quote from: LordKAT on June 17, 2014, 12:14:09 AM
Chips Ahoy!?
But that would also require a trip to the store... Besides, my cookies are FAR superior, and even have some nutritional value because I use almond flour, low carb chocolate chips and fake sugar. Low carb, low calorie, high fiber and you would never, ever guess that. They are just yummy goodness.
I see, Jillchips Ahoy!
I've been craving candy for the past few days. The kind of really sugary candy that I haven't had in years because they started giving me migraines. Like Nerds. I really want some Nerds. I wonder why I've been craving them.
I read something part of which was "You enter the forest at the darkest point where there is no path. Where there is already a path is someone else's path. Your adventure is in forging your own path." (It's talking about individual lives sort of thing.) Right now, I feel like I see a whole lot of paths of people (fictional mostly) who I am similar to, but have no idea where I should go to forge my own. I know who I am, of course. I just am having trouble seeing how I could ever be me in the real world.
Some people should not be allowed to bet. I am not talking about problem gambelers, for them I wish I could fill out the betcare forms myself as it can be an addiction, and some of us do need to be protected.
No I'm talking about the people that have no idea what they are doing I have spent half the day putting on bets for these people, and being yelled at for making them wait because I have two of my biggest punters in. $5 compared to $5000 guess who is getting served first?
Bouncing back My daughter apologised today for her attack on my transition and the effect it was having on her. She said that it was dealing with so many TS patients that had triggered her attack. All good. As so often happens there was something else going on and a parent ends up becoming an unwitting and easy target for venting.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 17, 2014, 03:59:17 AM
Some people should not be allowed to bet. I am not talking about problem gambelers, for them I wish I could fill out the betcare forms myself as it can be an addiction, and some of us do need to be protected.
No I'm talking about the people that have no idea what they are doing I have spent half the day putting on bets for these people, and being yelled at for making them wait because I have two of my biggest punters in. $5 compared to $5000 guess who is getting served first?
Geez. And I thought the World Cup bets were horrible.
Quote from: Jill F on June 17, 2014, 12:21:51 AM
But that would also require a trip to the store... Besides, my cookies are FAR superior, and even have some nutritional value because I use almond flour, low carb chocolate chips and fake sugar. Low carb, low calorie, high fiber and you would never, ever guess that. They are just yummy goodness.
oh my gosh, I want one... or two or three. Almond flour! I could actually eat them.
I'm really frazzled atm.
I was walking to the store and on my way I got lost in the middle of this cornfield...not much around, very southern country. So I come up on this row of houses, brick 1 level 70s era and i see somebody leaving so I'm like "excuse me!" And he stops...turns out this guy is like this creepy dude..very few teeth (literally) and the ones he has are really brown and one eye has this giant sore on it. So I'm like "wow you're tall" and he's like"yeah I'm 6'3" so I ask for directions and he's like "do you live there? And I'm like "no I'm just staying with a friend" (a liebecause im wising up) and he's like "lemme talk to my friend real quick".
Soo he goes inside and out comes this fat old redneck in his 60's/70's and the younger guy is like "come inside he'll explain it" (I'm not that lost so it shoudnt have been hard to explain it) nd I'm like "umm can you just tell mefrom here?" and the old guys like "no, no don't worry just come inside and I'll explain" and I'm like "I'm not comfortable with that" then they keep saying "ohh its not like that just come in real quick".
Then I start freaking out because like...I live in the middle of nowhere and I don't know where I am orhow to get home, my phones dead there's nobody around. And I'm waay too tired from walking in the heat for all that time to makea run for it. So istart screamng "you ->-bleeped-<-ing perverts stay away from me" and thank GID this car druves by and sees me just at that time. So I get a ride home withthis girl.
But now im sick to my stomach...very realistically that could have gotten really bad. Like...if I ended upinside that house I really really doubt i'd make it out alive. But tats not what's bugging me because...just senseed adynamic there.it felt like the younger guy was like...procurring fr the older guy. I dnt know. And just shudder tothink about any girls that might go in there. It was just so sinister and disturbing, in someway. And its not like I can warn anyone and I dunno.
Thatwas all on topof 3 catcalls from rednecks and a Hispanic guy harassing me asking where I lived all in one afternoon. In other words, ima NOT walk to the grocery store anymore
Augh, Abby, that is so terrifying! You used very good judgment though, and I'm glad you're OK.
Quote from: Abbyxo on June 17, 2014, 02:06:32 PM
I'm really frazzled atm.
I was walking to the store and on my way I got lost in the middle of this cornfield...not much around, very southern country. So I come up on this row of houses, brick 1 level 70s era and i see somebody leaving so I'm like "excuse me!" And he stops...turns out this guy is like this creepy dude..very few teeth (literally) and the ones he has are really brown and one eye has this giant sore on it. So I'm like "wow you're tall" and he's like"yeah I'm 6'3" so I ask for directions and he's like "do you live there? And I'm like "no I'm just staying with a friend" (a liebecause im wising up) and he's like "lemme talk to my friend real quick".
Soo he goes inside and out comes this fat old redneck in his 60's/70's and the younger guy is like "come inside he'll explain it" (I'm not that lost so it shoudnt have been hard to explain it) nd I'm like "umm can you just tell mefrom here?" and the old guys like "no, no don't worry just come inside and I'll explain" and I'm like "I'm not comfortable with that" then they keep saying "ohh its not like that just come in real quick".
Then I start freaking out because like...I live in the middle of nowhere and I don't know where I am orhow to get home, my phones dead there's nobody around. And I'm waay too tired from walking in the heat for all that time to makea run for it. So istart screamng "you ->-bleeped-<-ing perverts stay away from me" and thank GID this car druves by and sees me just at that time. So I get a ride home withthis girl.
But now im sick to my stomach...very realistically that could have gotten really bad. Like...if I ended upinside that house I really really doubt i'd make it out alive. But tats not what's bugging me because...just senseed adynamic there.it felt like the younger guy was like...procurring fr the older guy. I dnt know. And just shudder tothink about any girls that might go in there. It was just so sinister and disturbing, in someway. And its not like I can warn anyone and I dunno.
Thatwas all on topof 3 catcalls from rednecks and a Hispanic guy harassing me asking where I lived. In other words, ima NOT walk to the grocery store anymore
Oh god. Glad you made it out. One thing guys will do is try to play on girls' sympathy and compliance training. Some girls would have just told themselves they were being silly and went in.
Actually, this kind of thing happens- son or whoever procuring girls for his dad. Scary ->-bleeped-<-. Good on you for trusting your instincts. You ok?
Quote from: FA on June 17, 2014, 02:24:32 PM
Oh god. Glad you made it out. One thing guys will do is try to play on girls' sympathy and compliance training. Some girls would have just told themselves they were being silly and went in.
Actually, this kind of thing happens- son or whoever procuring girls for his dad. Scary ->-bleeped-<-. Good on you for trusting your instincts. You ok?
Well I know! And I'm the type of person who has a lot of trouble saying no and so it results in me doing stuff i dont want to a LOT, and for a second I was having a retard moment and i didnt realize what was going on. Then I wised up and started freaking out.
And does it really?? It was like an ah hah moment because it almost feltlike he was like...i dunno offering me to him? So that's when I went into panic mode because too there was nobody around and me and my mom just had a conversation with my little sister about how you should scream in those situations, even if you're not sure lop. But yeah good thing that girl was drivingby and I'm okay but frazzled cuz it was just a bit ago,but I literally thought that was it for a second lol
Geeze Abby, well I'm not going to get wordy, you did good honey, just be careful!
Paddle faster when you hear the banjos, sweetie.
Quote from: Jill F on June 17, 2014, 02:43:04 PM
Paddle faster when you hear the banjos, sweetie.
Deliverance! She got a taste of it today huh?
Quote from: Shantel on June 17, 2014, 03:51:03 PM
Deliverance! She got a taste of it today huh?
I'm just glad she didn't end up like Ned Beatty. For several reasons...
I'm thinking I want to re-pierce my left ear cartilage soon.
Quote from: Jill F on June 17, 2014, 02:43:04 PM
Paddle faster when you hear the banjos, sweetie.
lolol for some reason I found this hilarious.
Quote from: birkin on June 17, 2014, 03:56:46 PM
lolol for some reason I found this hilarious.
Lol agreed that was pretty funny. But it seriously was like out of deliverance. This incident has actually made my mom decide to move. Apparentlythe girl next door who is my age has been harassed like this so she never goes anywhere in town by herself. Which I almost *never* do, today was an anomaly but I see now why I shouldn't.
Quote from: Marcel on June 17, 2014, 08:26:45 AM
Geez. And I thought the World Cup bets were horrible.
We still have some decent bets if you look or they stack them up on a multi to earn more money. Problem comes when they make the mistake and blame you
@Abby glad you are now home safe
Quote from: Jill F on June 17, 2014, 03:55:50 PM
I'm just glad she didn't end up like Ned Beatty. For several reasons...
I'm thinking I want to re-pierce my left ear cartilage soon.
Squęeeee - Sqeeeeee! ;D >:-) Poor Ned!
Glad our girl is safe, could have been a horrifying experience or worse!
Quote from: Shantel on June 17, 2014, 05:15:39 PM
Squęeeee - Sqeeeeee! ;D >:-) Poor Ned!
Glad our girl is safe, could have been a horrifying experience or worse!
I hope my purty mouth doesn't get me into too much trouble some day.
Seriously, that was really creeptastic and scary to hear though.
I wonder if them inbreds' extra fangers make it easier to play a banjer...
Quote from: Jill F on June 17, 2014, 05:24:00 PM
I hope my purty mouth doesn't get me into too much trouble some day.
Seriously, that was really creeptastic and scary to hear though.
I wonder if them inbreds' extra fangers make it easier to play a banjer...
Only if they've et all thar possum stew like good boys!!
Lmao,y'all are funny, this cheered me up ;)
I feel more nuts than usual this evening. It's tempting to just let go, but I have to stay in reality.
I meant to go to bed four hours ago...
Well, I had to disclose my old name to my boss, as I assumed I would. I asked her "who sees these files?" and she said just her and random admin people, so I told her "OK, well this name is going to pop up on my background check." She seemed really surprised but she didn't care.
How did mankind ever survive this long with all these f***ing idiots in the world? Never mind, I think I answered my own question...
It was because all these idiots have been f***ing this whole time.
Unfortunately, the movie Idiocracy probably had it right.
Sorry, dark moment there...
Lol you know though, that's how I comfort myself when I feel bad. I remind myself that lots of people are stupid but manage to live very productive lives.
Quote from: birkin on June 18, 2014, 02:56:38 PM
Well, I had to disclose my old name to my boss, as I assumed I would. I asked her "who sees these files?" and she said just her and random admin people, so I told her "OK, well this name is going to pop up on my background check." She seemed really surprised but she didn't care.
Good to hear! I hope that the other admin people take it well.
I'm just thinking about my job interview tomorrow morning. Super nervous as it's my very first interview.
Good luck Bandors! I hope you nail it and your parents can stick their hurtful comments!
I don't know if I mentioned it on the public forums, about disclosing - but she actually thought I was MTF. o.O I didn't comment on that, I just said "No, I'm no longer female." lol
If I ever have kids (which I won't), I'd read them the book "So Many Cats" at night. As a cat lover, I love that book and remember reading it in the library at school.
I'm thinking about the shoes I wore in high school. I was wearing the same shoes there as I did in middle school. They had holes in them and when it rained, my socks got wet. Kids made fun of me at school. It's not like we were too poor to afford me new shoes. On the contrary, I had a new pair, but rarely wore them. I sold them last year for $10 actually. Anyways, my mom would also offer to get me new shoes (and clothes), but I declined. However, the one time I did want shoes, she never got them for me, lol. I wanted a pair of Vans.
The shoes I wear at work now have holes in them. I need to switch over to my regular shoes that I usually wear when I can find the missing one.
I want to buy a studded belt from Spencer's but I'm not paying $20 for it right now since I don't need one that bad.
I'm starting to get used to my job. I do want a job with higher pay in the future, but for now, this will do. In my downtime, I play my PSP or GBA. Today I watched "Cowboy Bebop: The Movie" on my PSP and Viva La Bam. I also played Tekken. When the book I ordered comes in the mail, I'm primarily going to read it on the bus and at the job. When I'm on break, sometimes I go in the bouncy house and either just lay down or jump if there isn't anyone in. My coworker does it too. She's a big child like me.
There is a King Endymion keychain that I want on Ebay, but for 8.95 no thank you.
I want a Red Velvet brownie and Cheesecake brownie for the cookie shop in the mall, but they are like $2.69 each. I'm not quite sure if that's wise spending, especially considering that I'm trying to save for top surgery. It would be hilarious if I paid in change though. I'm going to have to treat myself one day though and get both of them, but at that price, I can just get some Chinese or Japanese in the mall. I really want to get some Japanese food just to be served by a lady I sort of have a crush on there. The way she just looks around and stretches her arm to give out free samples of chicken makes me want to buy some. The Japanese food is a bit more expensive, but being served by that lady would be totally worth it....I hope. Meh, even if I decided to put aside 5-8 bucks to spend leisurely, I'm not too sure if I would buy food when I just eat at home. I feel like I would get more out of my money if I spend it on more tangible items.
I brought a book recently about ftm lower surgery and compared prices from Amazon and Ebay. I decided to buy from Amazon because it was .91 cents cheaper and I can put that towards another purchase, in this case would be headphones because the right ear piece of mine is going out. I'm glad I can put that .91 cents towards that.
Malachite, I need your discipline.
No you don't, as I find my discipline slowly getting weaker as I am increasingly becoming addicted to online shopping. :D
lol well I would have caved to that Red Velvet brownie in a HEARTBEAT.
Quote from: birkin on June 19, 2014, 12:11:37 AM
lol well I would have caved to that Red Velvet brownie in a HEARTBEAT.
Haha! To be honest, if I had my debit card/cash on me, I would have actually got that and the cheesecake brownie. The
only reason I didn't was because I left it at home. I only brought $1 because my mom says I always need to bring money with me and having that dollar there made me feel less guilty.
I'm thinking that this has gotten old.
I'm gonna let it ride IN MY COLON!!
I should be in bed.
I need to bang my head against something.
how the fick did my dog know I was going to bed. what subtle cue did I give off. he's amazing
night all
Quote from: King Malachite on June 19, 2014, 12:19:28 AM
Haha! To be honest, if I had my debit card/cash on me, I would have actually got that and the cheesecake brownie. The only reason I didn't was because I left it at home. I only brought $1 because my mom says I always need to bring money with me and having that dollar there made me feel less guilty.
I've been leaving my card at home too. Today it was nice though, I had a gift card for Tim Hortons left over from Christmas. I had a long morning and not a lot of breakfast so I stopped at Timmys and got a really great frozen lemonade with the card. Didn't cost me anything and I enjoyed it a lot more because I didn't stop for a whole meal, it was like this special little treat.
i'm thinking that i should let you guys know i'm still here, alive and i'm actually doing a lot better. *2 finger salute* love ya, bye for now ^-^
VBTO
Many thanks for the update. Excellent.
Getting upset and tough talking my computer will not stop it from crashing :icon_userfriendly:
Just get a bigger hammer. That should work.
So much to do so little time.
Flying out on Saturday....
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 19, 2014, 01:51:00 AM
i'm thinking that i should let you guys know i'm still here, alive and i'm actually doing a lot better. *2 finger salute* love ya, bye for now ^-^
yay
Quote from: King Malachite on June 18, 2014, 10:53:52 PM
If I ever have kids (which I won't), I'd read them the book "So Many Cats" at night. As a cat lover, I love that book and remember reading it in the library at school.
I'm thinking about the shoes I wore in high school. I was wearing the same shoes there as I did in middle school. They had holes in them and when it rained, my socks got wet. Kids made fun of me at school. It's not like we were too poor to afford me new shoes. On the contrary, I had a new pair, but rarely wore them. I sold them last year for $10 actually. Anyways, my mom would also offer to get me new shoes (and clothes), but I declined. However, the one time I did want shoes, she never got them for me, lol. I wanted a pair of Vans.
The shoes I wear at work now have holes in them. I need to switch over to my regular shoes that I usually wear when I can find the missing one.
I want to buy a studded belt from Spencer's but I'm not paying $20 for it right now since I don't need one that bad.
I'm starting to get used to my job. I do want a job with higher pay in the future, but for now, this will do. In my downtime, I play my PSP or GBA. Today I watched "Cowboy Bebop: The Movie" on my PSP and Viva La Bam. I also played Tekken. When the book I ordered comes in the mail, I'm primarily going to read it on the bus and at the job. When I'm on break, sometimes I go in the bouncy house and either just lay down or jump if there isn't anyone in. My coworker does it too. She's a big child like me.
There is a King Endymion keychain that I want on Ebay, but for 8.95 no thank you.
I want a Red Velvet brownie and Cheesecake brownie for the cookie shop in the mall, but they are like $2.69 each. I'm not quite sure if that's wise spending, especially considering that I'm trying to save for top surgery. It would be hilarious if I paid in change though. I'm going to have to treat myself one day though and get both of them, but at that price, I can just get some Chinese or Japanese in the mall. I really want to get some Japanese food just to be served by a lady I sort of have a crush on there. The way she just looks around and stretches her arm to give out free samples of chicken makes me want to buy some. The Japanese food is a bit more expensive, but being served by that lady would be totally worth it....I hope. Meh, even if I decided to put aside 5-8 bucks to spend leisurely, I'm not too sure if I would buy food when I just eat at home. I feel like I would get more out of my money if I spend it on more tangible items.
I brought a book recently about ftm lower surgery and compared prices from Amazon and Ebay. I decided to buy from Amazon because it was .91 cents cheaper and I can put that towards another purchase, in this case would be headphones because the right ear piece of mine is going out. I'm glad I can put that .91 cents towards that.
What does she look like? Is she Japanese? lol
Quote from: birkin on June 19, 2014, 01:48:27 AM
I've been leaving my card at home too. Today it was nice though, I had a gift card for Tim Hortons left over from Christmas. I had a long morning and not a lot of breakfast so I stopped at Timmys and got a really great frozen lemonade with the card. Didn't cost me anything and I enjoyed it a lot more because I didn't stop for a whole meal, it was like this special little treat.
That lemonade is delicious. Now I want some.
I watched Hellraiser 1 and 2 with my friend last night. They were alright and I enjoyed watching them, but I had trouble seeing how Pinhead and the other Cenobites were the villains. Frank was more like the main villain in the first one and that doctor was more like the main villain in the second.
We also talked for hours after. Every time we get together, we end up talking for hours and have to cut ourselves off. Both of us find it really easy to talk to each other about a variety of subjects. Maybe because both of us talk incessantly. Here is the difference between talking with other friends and talking with him:
Me: Do you like monster movies?
This friend: I love monster movies! Have you ever seen this movie? It's a....
Me: Do you like monster movies?
Another friend: Meh.
One I can work with to continue the conversation. The other shuts it right down.
Yeah, I never had it before, I was pleasantly surprised.
My schedule is filling up so fast. o.O Training for two jobs, 24 hours of actual shifts next week, and I still have to make time with my supervisor to wrap up my thesis.
My dad made me so mad yesterday. He's been weird about my jobs and up until this I ignored it. He goes "guess you won't get to talk to [Rainbow Brite] at all anymore. HAHA. Oh well, he will adjust." I lost it at him and said "why do you keep calling her a he? You never knew her as a guy. You have NO excuse." And he goes "uh, well, when I was told she was transgender I can't get the idea out of my head."
First of all I don't know what the hell his beef is with me talking to her. This isn't the first time he's brought up my talking to her. I am 25 and I have always shown EXTREMELY good judgment in my choice of friends. Second of all, I'm sick of my family* being jerks about the transgender thing and pretending that it's so goddamn hard. They've had years to get used to the idea of transgender people, they should be so far past the point of misgendering anyone. Let alone someone I care about.
If it comes to it, and they meet her and treat her with disrespect, they're going to find out very quickly this is a hill I will die on.
*Edit: well, my dad and my grandpa. No one else misgenders her and everyone has gotten better with my pronouns so I shouldn't lump them all in one category.
I've been watching many videos of freaks acting like fools at fast food restaurants and being abusive to the people that work there. It amazes me how these people have no respect for other people or themselves. It's always about really petty stuff at the end of the day. I just don't get it.
I should probably make myself a proper lunch instead of munching on cookies.
sadly, the empty loneliness is gripping me again. not a good day so far, not good at all -.-
Still thinking about finding that job...
Was it today that you had an interview Bandors? How did it go?
Quote from: birkin on June 19, 2014, 01:48:27 AM
I've been leaving my card at home too. Today it was nice though, I had a gift card for Tim Hortons left over from Christmas. I had a long morning and not a lot of breakfast so I stopped at Timmys and got a really great frozen lemonade with the card. Didn't cost me anything and I enjoyed it a lot more because I didn't stop for a whole meal, it was like this special little treat.
Ooooo a frozen lemonade would sound nice about now....even better if it's free! Congrats on finding a job btw!
Quote from: FA on June 19, 2014, 10:12:14 AM
What does she look like? Is she Japanese? lol
Lol yes she is Japanese. I left that part out because I didn't want to "offend" anyone here.
I may be slightly drunk
Quote from: birkin on June 19, 2014, 05:37:11 PM
Was it today that you had an interview Bandors? How did it go?
Yeah I had it and it was short, the person only asked 3 questions. Wasn't quite what I was looking for since the job compensation depended on how many contracts you get clients to sign. In other words, my pay was purely commissions-based while I'm looking for a stable, hourly wage job.
Fair enough, I'd never do commission work because it would be too stressful and not a lot of chance at payoff unless you're top notch with people (which I am not).
And thanks Malachite. ;D I'm happy to have the shot at getting some cash and doing something rewarding and challenging. I've decided to get a car before I get the surgery funds piled up, because this job is in a seedy part of town and far from where I live. Until I have the car though, I'm going to be riding my bike every day to work. It's 30K one way. =/ The bike is electric so can help me a little, but how cool would it be if I could work up to doing the whole 30K? I'd be riding 60K a day in total. I used to do 30K rides easy before I got big, so hopefully my body will adjust.
It's kind of a good thing because I need to lose weight for my surgery anyway, since he wants to do a keyhole type thing on me. I swear to God, if I'm doing this 7 days a week, I'm going to have to think about surgery 24/7 to keep myself motivated. :P
Thinking bout next Monday and my consult with a plastic surgeon for ba. Kinda nervous but my best friend will be going with me so that will help. Wanna get her opinion and set something up for next year :)
OH NO. I knew I became an ass man, but I found the My Humps video and found Fergie attractive in it.
This is problematic.
Quote from: birkin on June 19, 2014, 09:16:58 PM
OH NO. I knew I became an ass man, but I found the My Humps video and found Fergie attractive in it.
This is problematic.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2F35%2F14%2F92%2F351492611dbd90c2e97957ad96564c96.jpg&hash=06b9ff78ba2a6b35b8368c99cbf821f8b4807cab)
I'm wondering if anyone else ever feels like a force of nature. Also wondering if I sound arrogant by saying that, but that's how I feel a lot of the time.
Making a new video. Wondering if I ramble too much.
Stress is keeping me awake. It won't get better for several months.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on June 19, 2014, 10:09:11 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2F35%2F14%2F92%2F351492611dbd90c2e97957ad96564c96.jpg&hash=06b9ff78ba2a6b35b8368c99cbf821f8b4807cab)
haha I might need this.
Quote from: LordKAT on June 19, 2014, 11:28:12 PM
Stress is keeping me awake. It won't get better for several months.
That's too bad. <tries to send you some sleep>
Well, it's official. I have witnessed more idiocy demonstrated by people this week than ever before. Why do stupid people insist on reproducing so much? Yeah, I think the human race is certainly headed for devolution.
And I can't wait for my gonads to be chucked in a bin...
Dang, we are so screwed.
Then again if the world was ever populated by my descendents, we'd just es screwed, but for very different reasons.
Six of one, half dozen of the other...
Good night all!
You look great Candice so don't worry.
Looking at the weather in Manila, 90 degrees every day and thunder storms.
And here I was thinking 46 degrees what hot. ???
Beats a Sydney winter shivering through 22 degree days.
Last time I flew...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DHN.607993577745809465%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=0a332dcb0392dd633edcaa4a54b4d374dea17d19)
I'm starting to have strong feelings for a close friend. I seemed to have gotten over my last crush since we rarely talk unless I always start the conversation at the expense of her not replying back at any time. She could just ditch me in the middle of the conversation on Skype and then I won't hear from her until next time I start a conversation.
Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 20, 2014, 01:57:57 AM
I'm thinking I'm nervous about putting my actual photo on here, but that I've become comfortable enough here to really open up and show myself. So, my new profile photo is a real photo instead of an avatar. Be kind. :)
Adding: I'm also thinking that I wish I could sleep. It's 0300. ???
It's really awesome to have a Cis/CAIS girl on here to give that perspective on Intersex and such issues :) just thought I'd say that
And you're very pretty BTW:)
Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 20, 2014, 01:57:57 AM
I'm thinking I'm nervous about putting my actual photo on here, but that I've become comfortable enough here to really open up and show myself. So, my new profile photo is a real photo instead of an avatar. Be kind. :)
Adding: I'm also thinking that I wish I could sleep. It's 0300. ???
You're a darling young woman Candice and yes to me it's quite clear that you are CAIS as I am personally familiar with the condition in another gal I used to know. The cute little female head and slender neck is a dead giveaway but no-one would see anything but a pretty cis female had you not said anything.
Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 20, 2014, 09:31:11 AM
There is first time for everything in life, and this is the first time anyone has ever told me that my CAIS can be noticed by looking at me. lol I guess it makes sense though if you really know what you're looking for. I've just never had anyone say it. So thank you for introducing me to something new in life. :) And thank you for the very kind reply. :-*
And to clarify, this is only because you outed yourself as CAIS otherwise I would have never been the wiser, and btw you are beautiful Candice!
Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 20, 2014, 10:19:01 AM
That makes sense. Thank you Shantel. :) (((((((HUG))))))
Best wishes for upcoming success, make us proud knowing we will have yet another doctor in the house.
Candice it's great to have you here and your avatar is cute :)
Is it worth an extra $30 to speed up the name change process? How much will it speed it up? I think I haven't been moving on this because I'm afraid I will hit another wall.
Quote from: birkin on June 19, 2014, 08:02:55 PM
Fair enough, I'd never do commission work because it would be too stressful and not a lot of chance at payoff unless you're top notch with people (which I am not).
And thanks Malachite. ;D I'm happy to have the shot at getting some cash and doing something rewarding and challenging. I've decided to get a car before I get the surgery funds piled up, because this job is in a seedy part of town and far from where I live. Until I have the car though, I'm going to be riding my bike every day to work. It's 30K one way. =/ The bike is electric so can help me a little, but how cool would it be if I could work up to doing the whole 30K? I'd be riding 60K a day in total. I used to do 30K rides easy before I got big, so hopefully my body will adjust.
It's kind of a good thing because I need to lose weight for my surgery anyway, since he wants to do a keyhole type thing on me. I swear to God, if I'm doing this 7 days a week, I'm going to have to think about surgery 24/7 to keep myself motivated. :P
Lol hey talk about knocking out two things with one stone. I wish you the best of luck in your field!
I'm all relieved it's a big fly not a bee... hmm... I should really check when my epi-pens expire. dang things are so expensive
I wish people would stop labeling their sexuality. I hate how a guy can't just look at me and be like "I'm attracted to you let's bang" without over thinking it...like what the implications are, like does it make him straight, I or gay etc. I wanna be like..it makes you a person who us interested in connecting with another person. Which is a beautiful thing because the human body is beautiful in general and it's what we're meant to do and just yeah.
The same goes for a lot of younger MtFs. They have to have strict rules for who they'll date and strict labels...the guy has to be a straight man because otherwise they feel invalidated and to me I just say...why? Like what difference does his sexuality make if the sexual (or romantic) compatibility is right? All the labels are social constructs anyway. They're not real..what's real is attraction and chemistry between two people. Things like sex, sexuality and gender should all be irrelevant if that's there.
I dunno, rant if the day over. I guess I'm just a very body and sex positive person. It'd be nice to find a guy like that..I'm not here to take care if somebody emotionally just because the boner I give them gives them a little self doubt and I'm a little sick of letting myself get caught up in that sense of obbligation
I'm thinking that I am one of the luckiest girls in the world to have been blessed with the parents that I have...
Today was so amazing and I can't even put it into words. I just told my parents last week and my mom is already speaking as if she has known her daughter for years! It's absolutely wonderful and I am so excited about the future.
sorry
i'm thinking i may as well stop my sabbatical since i cant avoid looking at the boards. so let the be my official i'm back. xD anyways, i'm thinking i'm hungry but cant find food, literally -.-
i'm also thinking battle fatigue is hitting me hard. i slept almost 14 hours which isnt normal since i sleep maybe 3 hours at most o.o
I'm wondering why I keep getting inspired to do stuff in the middle of the night. In this case, a story idea. I wonder if I'm ever actually going to write anything.
Quote from: Abbyxo on June 20, 2014, 11:56:13 PM
I wish people would stop labeling their sexuality. I hate how a guy can't just look at me and be like "I'm attracted to you let's bang" without over thinking it...like what the implications are, like does it make him straight, I or gay etc. I wanna be like..it makes you a person who us interested in connecting with another person. Which is a beautiful thing because the human body is beautiful in general and it's what we're meant to do and just yeah.
The same goes for a lot of younger MtFs. They have to have strict rules for who they'll date and strict labels...the guy has to be a straight man because otherwise they feel invalidated and to me I just say...why? Like what difference does his sexuality make if the sexual (or romantic) compatibility is right? All the labels are social constructs anyway. They're not real..what's real is attraction and chemistry between two people. Things like sex, sexuality and gender should all be irrelevant if that's there.
I dunno, rant if the day over. I guess I'm just a very body and sex positive person. It'd be nice to find a guy like that..I'm not here to take care if somebody emotionally just because the boner I give them gives them a little self doubt and I'm a little sick of letting myself get caught up in that sense of obbligation
I feel you Abby. If I had to label myself, I'd say I'm straight, cause I've only really liked women (doesn't matter if they are trans or cis). But I hate actually using the word, and I hated it before too as a "lesbian." Why can't I just like who I like? Why do I have to give myself a label that essentially limits me to women? Sure, so far it has been all girls, never met a guy I liked, but that shouldn't mean anything, I prefer to just let things unfold naturally. If that means a guy shows up then I might be a little surprised but I'm not going to get hung up on it.
Yes, sexuality labels blow. I could be attracted to pretty much anyone that I form an emotional bond with.
I like "light years beyond queer" lately...
o.o well in my case i rather have the sexuality labels since every friggin time i go out, there's some pervert licking his lips at me whenever i wake by and hell i try not to be passable o.o
Quote from: birkin on June 21, 2014, 01:28:16 AM
I feel you Abby. If I had to label myself, I'd say I'm straight, cause I've only really liked women (doesn't matter if they are trans or cis). But I hate actually using the word, and I hated it before too as a "lesbian." Why can't I just like who I like? Why do I have to give myself a label that essentially limits me to women? Sure, so far it has been all girls, never met a guy I liked, but that shouldn't mean anything, I prefer to just let things unfold naturally. If that means a guy shows up then I might be a little surprised but I'm not going to get hung up on it.
Yeah, and I mean...that's not to say you have to stop liking what you like it start liking what you don't. Actually just the opposite, it means accepting what you're attracted to without labeling it. If someone's body turns you on and it's mutual then obviously you go for that so just enjoy the feeling and see where it can take you.
I think people are so determined to categorize themselves that they miss out or rake away from the experience. I personally like a flat chest and a dick..that just what turns me on and always has, and I don't see myself expanding on that. But there's endless variations and none of them need to be put in boxes.
It's just annoying to have to have the same conversation over with guys who are constantly trying to reconcile their socially constructed concepts on sexuality with their interest in me. Its so frucken tiresome
i'm thinking, what the hell is going on with my time? o: looking at my ticker and 11 days past in a flash o.o i'm starting to get worried. also i think its time i make it official and permanent change my gender marker though i still reside far outside the spectrum of being a female o.o
didn't I make a post about going to bed? weird.
Doubts re stamina. Can I stay up all night in order to watch 3 FIFA WC matches or will I fall asleep at a critical time?
Quote from: Aisla on June 21, 2014, 02:40:21 AM
Doubts re stamina. Can I stay up all night in order to watch 3 FIFA WC matches or will I fall asleep at a critical time?
haha! if your like me, its the latter xD
I hate it when I wake up this early on a Saturday. Do I go back to bed and try to sleep more, or do I just make the damned coffee?
Maybe I'll go to the zoo today after all.
Quote from: Jill F on June 21, 2014, 08:03:41 AM
I hate it when I wake up this early on a Saturday. Do I go back to bed and try to sleep more, or do I just make the damned coffee?
Maybe I'll go to the zoo today after all.
I'm always glad that I could wake up, coffee sounds good!
Jill you're already at the zoo honey! :D :laugh:
coffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Apparently, some people think chaos is only destruction. That's ridiculous. Destruction is only one possibility. Chaos is endless possibility.
II'mkind of sick of being such a loner. U think I need to start looking for a guy I actually like instead of just guys for sex, games and general stupidity
i'm trying to think when did i become such a basket case. blah! thinking makes my head hurt
I saw Yig!
A warm bed, mid winter. Why get up?
Total shut down. Seriously, i'm in the presence of basically famuly of gays and lesbian and i just shut doen o.o wow, this is not awesome at all :(
I keep thinking back a few weeks ago where I saw this guy telling his kid something at the supermarket. It was fairly innocuous, but I'm not going to write it here because I feel weird about feeling angry about it. But what he said just rubbed me the wrong way. Like for some reason even though it was completely innocent it just hit a nerve inside me and I can't get it out of my head.
You know, I think about how much I struggle with my own mind sometimes. Like with stuff like this - I get fixated and nearly obsessed on something and it can cause a lot of pain when my mental health isn't up to standard. Like you're in your own personal version of hell.
Then I think about the people I work with (severely mentally ill)...they must be in hell nearly 24/7. That's why I'm not bothered by the possibility of violence*...I know it isn't about me, they're just living in their own personal version of hell and sometimes have no other way of trying to communicate.
*My opinion may change the first time I get punched in the face.
Told my brother that I'm FTM via text message. I'm just wondering what his response would be right now but I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worst.
I'm thinking about tattoos I want. And worrying about details and whether I'd change my mind/regret them for some reason despite the fact that I might never be able to get one of them. I need to get chest surgery first and that's a lot of money since my province doesn't cover it, so it'll either take who knows how long to save up enough money for either the surgery or moving to another province.
I'm worried about school. I need a 3.7 at least to get into grad school and I currently have a 3.1. I still have a few years in which I can bring it up, but I'm worried I won't be abel to. I need to get into grad school to go into research.
I'm also worried about finances. If I can't get into grad school, I'll have all that debt to pay and will probably have to go into even more Even if I do get into grad school, I'll have a heck of a lot of debt. Not to mention, I'll have to move to another province to continue my studies and that costs heaps of money. I wonder if I'm always going to be poor and barely scraping by.
Tomorrow my consult for the ba and setting up a date :/ I'm 5'11" 38c and just think I need to go up a size or two to accommodate my height. Guess I'm just blabbing but I can't lie nervous as hell no ones seen me unclothed in 7 years and very self-conscious of myself
Quote from: Edge on June 22, 2014, 02:20:40 PM
I'm thinking about tattoos I want. And worrying about details and whether I'd change my mind/regret them for some reason despite the fact that I might never be able to get one of them. I need to get chest surgery first and that's a lot of money since my province doesn't cover it, so it'll either take who knows how long to save up enough money for either the surgery or moving to another province.
I'm worried about school. I need a 3.7 at least to get into grad school and I currently have a 3.1. I still have a few years in which I can bring it up, but I'm worried I won't be abel to. I need to get into grad school to go into research.
I'm also worried about finances. If I can't get into grad school, I'll have all that debt to pay and will probably have to go into even more Even if I do get into grad school, I'll have a heck of a lot of debt. Not to mention, I'll have to move to another province to continue my studies and that costs heaps of money. I wonder if I'm always going to be poor and barely scraping by.
How far into your education are you? Because you can easily bring up your average. Plus, many of them actually don't look at your overall GPA, they look at your GPA over the last 2 or 2.5 years of your first degree. It's well known among graduate committees that most people don't do as well in their first year and really hit their stride in the latter half of the second year. Then again, I didn't start doing well until into the third.
Since you're looking to work in neurology (I think? lol) I'm pretty sure you'll be raking in the dough one day, I wouldn't worry about that.
---
I'm wondering if I can take a big garbage bag of clothes to Goodwill on my bike. This month's paycheck is going to driver's ed, and then my dad will loan me some money to help me fix up an old car we have. So I'll be driving in like...2 months, but until then I'm going to need to be creative with my cycling because it's my main form of transportation.
Quote from: birkin on June 22, 2014, 04:29:03 PM
How far into your education are you? Because you can easily bring up your average. Plus, many of them actually don't look at your overall GPA, they look at your GPA over the last 2 or 2.5 years of your first degree. It's well known among graduate committees that most people don't do as well in their first year and really hit their stride in the latter half of the second year. Then again, I didn't start doing well until into the third.
Since you're looking to work in neurology (I think? lol) I'm pretty sure you'll be raking in the dough one day, I wouldn't worry about that.
I'm technically starting my third year, but most of my classes will be second year courses since I've been going part time due to my son's schedule. I want to go into neuroscience. Thanks! That encourages me a lot.
Quote from: birkin on June 22, 2014, 04:29:03 PMI'm wondering if I can take a big garbage bag of clothes to Goodwill on my bike.
Do you have a backpack you can carry them in? If they don't all fit, you may have to make more than one trip.
I'm sure he could it all in one trip if he tried...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F9laughs.com%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F01%2FOverloaded-Bikes1-632x450.jpg&hash=d76f49b505e0a02e0b7891296b2216d40dda39f2)
Quote from: Edge on June 22, 2014, 04:39:19 PM
I'm technically starting my third year, but most of my classes will be second year courses since I've been going part time due to my son's schedule. I want to go into neuroscience. Thanks! That encourages me a lot.
Do you have a backpack you can carry them in? If they don't all fit, you may have to make more than one trip.
I had withdraws my very first year, and several C minus grades, but I got all A- to A range in my third and (mostly) 4th year and my average went up to 3.7 from whatever it was before (maybe 3.3). You can definitely do it.
Backpack...yeah, but I guess I'd have to put all the clothes inside smaller bags to fit into the backpack. Actually if I fold them up, I could fit a lot more in and maybe put most in my backpack and a few in the bike bag.
Quote from: the old mare on June 22, 2014, 04:43:59 PM
I'm sure he could it all in one trip if he tried...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F9laughs.com%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F01%2FOverloaded-Bikes1-632x450.jpg&hash=d76f49b505e0a02e0b7891296b2216d40dda39f2)
That is brilliant actually. :o
Quote from: birkin on June 22, 2014, 04:52:31 PM
Backpack...yeah, but I guess I'd have to put all the clothes inside smaller bags to fit into the backpack. Actually if I fold them up, I could fit a lot more in and maybe put most in my backpack and a few in the bike bag.
Fold 'em and roll 'em. If they're rolled up, they take up less room.
Quote from: Edge on June 22, 2014, 04:56:39 PM
Fold 'em and roll 'em. If they're rolled up, they take up less room.
That helped a lot! I still have to make a second trip but the majority are there now. It wasn't a horrible ride, but I hate going through places where you have cars parked all along the sides of the road and you have to cycle close to where the drivers are.
Quote from: birkin on June 22, 2014, 05:41:41 PM
That helped a lot! I still have to make a second trip but the majority are there now. It wasn't a horrible ride, but I hate going through places where you have cars parked all along the sides of the road and you have to cycle close to where the drivers are.
And of course, I do the logical thing, google what to do when there's cars parked, and I come up with THIS *shudders*: :o :'(
http://bicyclesafe.com/doorprize.html
depression is a prison
Quote from: birkin on June 22, 2014, 05:49:49 PM
And of course, I do the logical thing, google what to do when there's cars parked, and I come up with THIS *shudders*: :o :'(
http://bicyclesafe.com/doorprize.html
One of my dad's former students ran head first into a chain link fence while riding his bike without a helmet. They used his picture for "wear your helmet" posters.
Some people just give me the creeps. They seem OK on the surface, but there's just something about them that's off, like you look them in the eyes and you can tell that nobody's actually home.
It's like, OMG, you seem so nice- I'd love to go to your place and be body parts in your freezer.
I'm thinking there's an epic amount of stupid in this world. :D
If I had 80 billion dollars, I could buy a red velvet brownie and a cheesecake brownie and not feel too bad about it.
Quote from: Edge on June 22, 2014, 07:32:27 PM
One of my dad's former students ran head first into a chain link fence while riding his bike without a helmet. They used his picture for "wear your helmet" posters.
Wow. :(
I decided that the biking to work thing ain't gonna happen. Biking in this city is a joke...some places near downtown have great paths, but if you want to actually go anywhere else, tough luck. I got stuck on a road with cars going 70k/hr or more. You're not allowed to bike on the sidewalks, lest you want a big fat ticket. It was a SUNDAY NIGHT and the roads were packed. SUNDAY!
So for my first shift tomorrow I will take the bus. After that, I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to get to work - my weekend shifts are too early for the buses to be running.
Quote from: birkin on June 22, 2014, 10:54:49 PM
So for my first shift tomorrow I will take the bus. After that, I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to get to work - my weekend shifts are too early for the buses to be running.
Maybe too early for much traffic?
Perhaps, I imagine very early Sunday morning would be less populated than Sunday night. But then there is the issue of getting back, when it'll be busy again.
Quote from: Zóôt Threepwood on June 22, 2014, 05:59:35 PM
depression is a prison
You can break out of it, though. Don't give up.
I feel so much better after getting a shower, (Even if it was at 12:30 at night). I was sweating like a pig the last two days at a house that had crappy air conditioning and I totally
REEKED!!
Quote from: Jill F on June 22, 2014, 07:54:05 PM
Some people just give me the creeps. They seem OK on the surface, but there's just something about them that's off, like you look them in the eyes and you can tell that nobody's actually home.
It's like, OMG, you seem so nice- I'd love to go to your place and be body parts in your freezer.
I honestly wonder if this is why I have trouble keeping friends.
I also just realized that, if I did get the two other tattoos I want to get, all my tattoos would mostly be green and black. This is a coincidence. I'm wondering if it would be a problem.
Don't know how I will stay awake tomorrow after 3 FIFA World Cup games tonight at 0200, 0500 and 0700
Mom told me that my dad really wants me to get a job. I'm thinking about what this means and it may mean that he's on the verge of kicking me out.
I wonder what that lady's name is who works at the Japanese restaurant in our mall. I'm either going to call her Sailor Mars or Miss Sample Lady. Gosh she is so beautiful.....
Quote from: King Malachite on June 23, 2014, 05:46:05 PM
I wonder what that lady's name is who works at the Japanese restaurant in our mall. I'm either going to call her Sailor Mars or Miss Sample Lady. Gosh she is so beautiful.....
Ask her. :)
------
I am thinking about how I wish I could eat bagels all day, every day and not get fat.
Is it bad that I have this overriding compulsion to offer my condolences whenever someone tells me they are getting married?
Quote from: the old mare on June 23, 2014, 06:58:25 PM
Is it bad that I have this overriding compulsion to offer my condolences whenever someone tells me they are getting married?
I always think of this cellphone commercial that I saw year ago. A daughter was talking to her mom on their cells, daughter says "Steve and I are in Vegas getting. . . " when the line drops. Daughter was really about to say something NOT marriage related, but mom starts yelling into her phone "
never get married, don't make the same mistake I made!"
Quote from: Nimrata (aka LH) on June 23, 2014, 06:30:38 PM
Ask her. :)
But then it kind of loses some of the mysticism, lol. Plus, it would be kind of awkward for me to ask her what's her name and then leave without buying anything, especially when there are usually two other people around her.
Just realized I had hysto almost three weeks ago. o_O Where did time disappear...
Or then playing Flight Rising is just so much fun that I don't notice the passing of time.
Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 24, 2014, 12:18:35 PM
I am thinking that my birthday is in a month and I really wish I didn't have to get older. If I could stay 23 for the rest of my life--or at least keep my 23-year-old body--I would be very, very happy. I have no desire to ever be old. I want to be able to run until the day I die, which is technically possible for older people who've taken great care of their bodies, but it's rare.
Candice,
No one wants to get older, but oddly once you get there you won't want to go back because even though at 23 you think you are smart and knowledgable, when you get older you will realize that wasn't true. Now if only I could be as smart as I am at age 71 this August and still have a 23 year old body, that would be the ultimate birthday gift. :)
i'm thinking about the one that got away :o
Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 24, 2014, 12:18:35 PM
I am thinking that my birthday is in a month and I really wish I didn't have to get older. If I could stay 23 for the rest of my life--or at least keep my 23-year-old body--I would be very, very happy. I have no desire to ever be old. I want to be able to run until the day I die, which is technically possible for older people who've taken great care of their bodies, but it's rare.
Ugh, me too. I freaked out the other day when I realized I was 22, for some reason that day I randomly thought i was still 21. :( and I'll be 23 too in not long. How does that even happen.
Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 24, 2014, 12:18:35 PM
I am thinking that my birthday is in a month and I really wish I didn't have to get older. If I could stay 23 for the rest of my life--or at least keep my 23-year-old body--I would be very, very happy. I have no desire to ever be old. I want to be able to run until the day I die, which is technically possible for older people who've taken great care of their bodies, but it's rare.
dont worry, i feel that everyday. i feel like i'm 21 going on 71. seems like when it comes to age, time has no problem speeding that up. i swore yesterday i was just 14 -.- well since i can pass as a 14 year old, i my as well have some fun xD :laugh:
If I ever own an Arcade, I'm definately getting Police 911 and Crazy Taxi.
Quote from: Shantel on June 24, 2014, 01:44:39 PM
Candice,
No one wants to get older, but oddly once you get there you won't want to go back because even though at 23 you think you are smart and knowledgable, when you get older you will realize that wasn't true. Now if only I could be as smart as I am at age 71 this August and still have a 23 year old body, that would be the ultimate birthday gift. :)
I don't worry about getting older. It's better than an early death.
I bought a bag of mini Peppermint Patties. I know it's not the best idea for my waistline, but I only do this once or twice a year.
I really hope the boss doesn't blame me for the power outage at the front desk. Gosh this would happen to me. I wish he would pick up his phone when important things happen. I called my co-worker about it and she told me she was sorry, as if it doesn't affect her. Well if the power doesn't come on by noon it's going to be her problem too, and if we can't get the power to work, boss man isn't going to make any money. I really hope this all get sorted out by tommorrow morning. I'm trying not to think about it, but I can't help it. What's the worst case scenario? Hmmmm I could get fired. The only thing I did was try to plug a laptop charger into a ground plug that seemingly has no connection to the front desk, but when I did that, a spark flew. I tried the next one and it worked. I really hope he doesn't go back to the camera and see me doing that and blame me. That shouldn't be the case. Oh well, we will see what will happen by then. It was great having money while it lasted.
I want to be a troll for Halloween. I've been planning my costume. I got the ears. There's just one problem.
*looks in the mirror*
I'm going to make a very pretty troll...
DARN IT ALL! WHY DID I LET EM GET AWAY! :( darn you katy perry :laugh:
If I ever get go on T, I hope my genes allow for me a full beard. I want to look like a mountain man.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 25, 2014, 06:29:08 PM
If I ever get go on T, I hope my genes allow for me a full beard. I want to look like a mountain man.
wait, i seriously thought you were already on T o.o xD
I'm thinking I wish it was next week already.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 25, 2014, 06:43:44 PM
wait, i seriously thought you were already on T o.o xD
Nope. I'm still presenting as a female. :/
About my first appointment at Callen-Lorde in July. I'm excited yet scared at the same time.
Went out to eat tonight and couldnt help but notice some creepy guy staring at me. It was very uncomfortable. Im getting used to looks more and more because of my appearance but some people just are creepy. Not saying im anything to look out or anything, cause im not, but its especially weird with how some guys look at me at times. It makes me feel on display when i just want to hide in the background away from eyes.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 25, 2014, 08:36:13 PM
About my first appointment at Callen-Lorde in July. I'm excited yet scared at the same time.
.
Good luck! Never been there myself, but ive heard good things.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 25, 2014, 08:36:13 PM
About my first appointment at Callen-Lorde in July. I'm excited yet scared at the same time.
a friend of mines is going through lorde. lol. i was going to but i got my appointments faster through my letter
Quote from: King Malachite on June 25, 2014, 07:39:33 PM
Nope. I'm still presenting as a female. :/
ah, well you'll get there eventually hun lol
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 25, 2014, 09:15:20 PM
ah, well you'll get there eventually hun lol
Meh, maybe. We shall see one day.
Can't sleep. Too excited.
If the opposite of up is down, and the opposite of down is up, then what is the same as up? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi60.tinypic.com%2F1zq396o.jpg&hash=f6c4802bc060d7a4ed2439fc4d08aa734fb56934)
Its getting hot outside. Been out there since about 6 doing stuff, so now its time for a long break and maybe eat a pizza
Quote from: the old mare on June 26, 2014, 10:06:47 AM
Its getting hot outside. Been out there since about 6 doing stuff, so now its time for a long break and maybe eat a pizza
Will it be veggie or meat eaters? Either way save a piece for me but hold the oreos, I'm watching my girlish figure. ;D
Quote from: Shantel on June 26, 2014, 10:17:14 AM
Will it be veggie or meat eaters? Either way save a piece for me but hold the oreos, I'm watching my girlish figure. ;D
its just one of those little totino's party pizzas. Basically a snack. And oreos aren't fattening, its a myth...
Quote from: the old mare on June 26, 2014, 10:25:22 AM
its just one of those little totino's party pizzas. Basically a snack. And oreos aren't fattening, its a myth...
Unlike you miss skinny-minnie anything I eat can be fattening with a metabolic rate in compound low 24/7.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 25, 2014, 09:14:23 PM
a friend of mines is going through lorde. lol. i was going to but i got my appointments faster through my letter
My friend, who is already almost one year on testosterone, told me about this place and even accompanied there to register and get this process. I felt so jealous of him because he now has a great voice and was always taller than most females (5'8") and he claims to have grown an inch. I'm stuck at 5'5.7"! In any case, it should be fast since he registered to transition from female-to-male last April and got started on hormones in July. If all goes well, I might be able to get on hormones sometime in October.
its 101.3 degrees on my front porch and not even a stir of a breeze out there.
Quote from: the old mare on June 26, 2014, 11:22:02 AM
its 101.3 degrees on my front porch and not even a stir of a breeze out there.
That's terrible, stay hydrated!
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 26, 2014, 10:30:16 AM
My friend, who is already almost one year on testosterone, told me about this place and even accompanied there to register and get this process. I felt so jealous of him because he now has a great voice and was always taller than most females (5'8") and he claims to have grown an inch. I'm stuck at 5'5.7"! In nay case, it should be fast since he registered to transition from female-to-male last April and got started on hormones in July. If all goes well, I might be able to get on hormones sometime in October.
my friend starts in september. i dont really understand those long wait times. though i'm glad i didnt go because i would of been bumped up to a weeks wait due to already having my letter and therapy
Quote from: Shantel on June 26, 2014, 11:23:47 AM
That's terrible, stay hydrated!
And oreoed too! I'm staying in until the temp comes back down some. Its too uncomfortable out there. its a nice 73 in the house...
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 26, 2014, 11:25:18 AM
my friend starts in september. i dont really understand those long wait times. though i'm glad i didnt go because i would of been bumped up to a weeks wait due to already having my letter and therapy
That's great for your friend! ;D
I'm sure it would've taken me a full year or longer and a ton of money to get even started on hormones due to the whole tedious process of finding a therapist, who might even have a waitlist, and have to wait many therapy sessions to get the letter. Gender therapists don't just hand you a letter right away, it's a minimum of 3 months, maybe even longer. Then there's the endocrinologist, who might also have a waitlist, that will still cost me a ton of money for bloodwork and the prescriptions. I have family insurance but I need to pay off that $1,000 deductible so it's still going to cost me quite a pretty penny and I'm unemployed.
That Callen-Lorde place has been a complete godsend so far, making it simple enough without all these obstacles in the way.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 26, 2014, 11:33:14 AM
That's great for your friend! ;D
I'm sure it would've taken me a full year or longer and a ton of money to get even started on hormones due to the whole tedious process of finding a therapist, who might even have a waitlist, and have to wait many therapy sessions to get the letter. Gender therapists don't just hand you a letter right away, it's a minimum of 3 months, maybe even longer. Then there's the endocrinologist, who might also have a waitlist, that will still cost me a ton of money for bloodwork and the prescriptions. due to gender therapists costing an arm and a leg per session. I have family insurance but I need to pay off that $1,000 deductible so it's still going to cost me quite a pretty penny and I'm unemployed.
That Callen-Lorde place has been a complete godsend so far, making it simple enough without all these obstacles in the way.
my therapist didnt have a wait list and i was surprised to find one where i live. they dont just hand you letters but there are some who have received their letters sooner. i got mines within 2 months. it really depends. i pay for my therapy out of pocket though. the thing is the hormones are covered under my insurance in full but i still have yet to call them if they would cover them for me o: god i dont feel like the back in forth. i'm covered under fed insurance though
Quote from: the old mare on June 26, 2014, 11:25:46 AM
And oreoed too! I'm staying in until the temp comes back down some. Its too uncomfortable out there. its a nice 73 in the house...
Anything 80 or above is too uncomfortable for my basic northern European hide!
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 26, 2014, 11:39:09 AM
my therapist didnt have a wait list and i was surprised to find one where i live. they dont just hand you letters but there are some who have received their letters sooner. i got mines within 2 months. it really depends. i pay for my therapy out of pocket though. the thing is the hormones are covered under my insurance in full but i still have yet to call them if they would cover them for me o: god i dont feel like the back in forth. i'm covered under fed insurance though
That's my problem. I'm unemployed right now so I can't afford it all and the insurance might not cover it. :-\
Im wearing boyshorts and a sportsbra out today like ive done for a couple days now. And it just feels right i guess. Tho a little something is annoying me with its there-ness, it feels good to go out like this. And no i didnt tuck. But im wearing guy pants so it doesnt matter.
what should i do today. WII got boring and oh wow, 15 days past in an instant xD what the hello is going on with my time xD
Quote from: Emo on June 26, 2014, 01:55:08 PM
Im wearing boyshorts and a sportsbra out today like ive done for a couple days now. And it just feels right i guess. Tho a little something is annoying me with its there-ness, it feels good to go out like this. And no i didnt tuck. But im wearing guy pants so it doesnt matter.
Past time to post some body photos Emo, anyway I hear that FalsePrincess is panting in the wings waiting. :laugh:
Quote from: Shantel on June 26, 2014, 02:00:36 PM
Past time to post some body photos Emo, anyway I hear that FalsePrincess is panting in the wings waiting. :laugh:
Lol. Sorry i forgot. Tell somebody to remind me tonite when i get home. Then tell someone else to remind them to remind me to take pics when i get home.
Im forgetful. :3
Quote from: Emo on June 26, 2014, 02:12:05 PM
Lol. Sorry i forgot. Tell somebody to remind me tonite when i get home. Then tell someone else to remind them to remind me to take pics when i get home.
Im forgetful. :3
;D
I'm wondering if I should bother straightening my hair and putting in contacts. On the one hand, we're just driving to a nearby city. The con doesn't start until tomorrow. Also, it's a bit rainy out, so my hair probably won't stay straight anyway and it looks fine enough anyway despite bits curling in ways I wish they wouldn't. On the other, I am going to be meeting some people for the first time and I wanted to meet them looking more cool and masculine (I look more like both with straight hair). Oh what the hey. I have time to waste.
I just realized I am really vain.
Quote from: Edge on June 26, 2014, 02:31:15 PM
;D
I'm wondering if I should bother straightening my hair and putting in contacts. On the one hand, we're just driving to a nearby city. The con doesn't start until tomorrow. Also, it's a bit rainy out, so my hair probably won't stay straight anyway and it looks fine enough anyway despite bits curling in ways I wish they wouldn't. On the other, I am going to be meeting some people for the first time and I wanted to meet them looking more cool and masculine (I look more like both with straight hair). Oh what the hey. I have time to waste.
I just realized I am really vain.
Go out with a cowlick and a mullet. Thatll look extra manly.
i'm thinking i might cut my sides and leave the top o.o trying for the andro cuts but trying to get my hair a little more past my ears o.o
Quote from: Emo on June 26, 2014, 02:39:22 PM
Go out with a cowlick and a mullet. Thatll look extra manly.
Hell no.
Although I do currently look like an effeminate goth kid which looks odd since I have freckles. (Dyed my hair black for my Loki costume.)
And off I go. If someone takes pictures, I'll get them send them to me and post the good ones.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 26, 2014, 02:49:13 PM
i'm thinking i might cut my sides and leave the top o.o trying for the andro cuts but trying to get my hair a little more past my ears o.o
I want a pixie cut. Or is it a bob... Idk. Hair confuses me sometimes.
@edge
So youll post all of them? :p
ZANGETSU!
I'm Skyping my therapist in less than an hour to get my letters of recommendation! I have two issues to get past though: 1. Having no interruptions from me mom while keeping this relatively clandestine and 2. Getting my Skype to work
Quote from: Emo on June 26, 2014, 03:19:15 PM
@edge
So youll post all of them? :p
Unlikely. I'm not very photogenic.
Skyping with my therapist right now and she's reading me the letter of recommendation. Awesome!
Quote from: King Malachite on June 26, 2014, 06:49:12 PM
Skyping with my therapist right now and she's reading me the letter of recommendation. Awesome!
Great to hear! You're almost there in becoming the person you were meant to be. :D
Quote from: King Malachite on June 26, 2014, 06:49:12 PM
Skyping with my therapist right now and she's reading me the letter of recommendation. Awesome!
i told you you'd get there hun lol
Awesome, Malachite!
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 26, 2014, 06:57:55 PM
i told you you'd get there hun lol
Lol I'm farrrrrrr from there. Now I just gotta come up with the money, honey. :D
Quote from: Edge on June 26, 2014, 07:10:10 PM
Awesome, Malachite!
Thanks! ;D I got my letter! I got my letter! Hot diggity dog I got my letter! ;D
Quote from: King Malachite on June 26, 2014, 07:15:43 PM
Lol I'm farrrrrrr from there. Now I just gotta come up with the money, honey. :D
Thanks! ;D I got my letter! I got my letter! Hot diggity dog I got my letter! ;D
now imma bite you mal xD congratz on your letter lol
Congratulations Malachite
Quote from: King Malachite on June 26, 2014, 07:15:43 PM
Lol I'm farrrrrrr from there. Now I just gotta come up with the money, honey. :D
Thanks! ;D I got my letter! I got my letter! Hot diggity dog I got my letter! ;D
Congratulations! Book that endo appointment ASAP.
I fell asleep...have to wake up at 5 am so I need to get back to sleep again in a few hours. I just got so tired I couldn't help it. I still need to do my laundry as well.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 26, 2014, 07:16:39 PM
now imma bite you mal xD congratz on your letter lol
That's going to be $1 per bite. I need some way to pay for my transition, lol. Thanks!
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 26, 2014, 07:17:15 PM
Congratulations Malachite
Thanks, immortal gypsy! :)
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 26, 2014, 07:23:01 PM
Congratulations! Book that endo appointment ASAP.
Thanks! I think I'm going to get top surgery done first since that would be easier for me to do.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 26, 2014, 07:59:43 PM
Thanks! I think I'm going to get top surgery done first since that would be easier for me to do.
I would still book it a few months in advance because there may or may not be a waitlist.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 26, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
I would still book it a few months in advance because there may or may not be a waitlist.
Oh definitely! I want to try and book 3-6 months in advance if I can when I have all the funds together.
On the advice of a girlfriend I broke down and bought a sports bra, (this past week has been fun). I'm not a little kid anymore I'm growing up nooooo! :'(
I need to wear it to work or eat painkillers, change over today is with the boss. Today could be interesting
It's a sunny day in Oz. Clear sunny sky with my first g&t in front of me. Lunch with a good friend beckons with Chinese food to follow. Unfortunately a hard stop at 2pm for 3 hrs of galvanic. Oh for a hair free face!
omg, a song from when I was a teenager came on for the first time in years. It's a beautiful song, and I like it, but it's associated with a really really bad time in my life. I didn't expect to hear it and when I heard those first notes, a chill ran through my spine and I felt like puking, as if I was 15 again.
Man no matter what happens in my life I will never be that unhappy again, that I know. Funnily enough, there's a line in there I used to tell myself: "there will come a day when all of this is in my past, and there will come a day when you're out of my head at last."
Congrats Malachite ;D
Congrats Malachite!!!
<sidenote> Onion rings this late at night may not have been wise! :icon_eek:
Thanks, christopher and Jessica!!!!! :D
I feel like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciSdKJh5iVk
Congrats Malachite! :)
Thanks, LH! This has made me so happy (and for the money I paid, it better, haha! I feel like I'm slowly moving forward. Granted, I still have a loooooong ways to go, but a little step is better than no step at all.
Anyone else posting via fax?
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 26, 2014, 11:18:34 PM
Anyone else posting via fax?
o: how in the caterpillars do you post with a fax machine? :o :laugh:
Quote from: King Malachite on June 26, 2014, 11:05:00 PM
Thanks, LH! This has made me so happy (and for the money I paid, it better, haha! I feel like I'm slowly moving forward. Granted, I still have a loooooong ways to go, but a little step is better than no step at all.
Just remember. "It doesn't matter how slow you go on your journey as long as you do not stop." You'll get there in the end I know you will
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 26, 2014, 10:33:56 PM
Onion rings this late at night may not have been wise!
My Raisins and Banana beat up your Onion rings.
I'm super tired but now I feel super creative as well. Maybe 30 minutes with a guitar before I crash?
Must have chocolate then. Problems solved.
Thinking about where my life is going since my future is uncertain.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 26, 2014, 11:51:24 PM
Just remember. "It doesn't matter how slow you go on your journey as long as you do not stop." You'll get there in the end I know you will
Ain't that the truth!
i love playing with my hair o:
My stomach does not feel very good. =/
I wish I handled criticism better. A guy at work pointing out a big mistake I was making and he was absolutely right, I was being careless. And I am glad he was upfront and honest with me rather than just ignoring it and complaining about me to someone else. But at the same time, I'm being too hard on myself for the mistake - I feel really bad and like I'm a screw-up even though I am new at the job and have a lot to learn.
Quote from: birkin on June 28, 2014, 02:49:11 AM
My stomach does not feel very good. =/
I wish I handled criticism better. A guy at work pointing out a big mistake I was making and he was absolutely right, I was being careless. And I am glad he was upfront and honest with me rather than just ignoring it and complaining about me to someone else. But at the same time, I'm being too hard on myself for the mistake - I feel really bad and like I'm a screw-up even though I am new at the job and have a lot to learn.
Better cut yourself a little slack hon, you need some time to learn the ropes and it's always nice to have someone looking over your shoulder giving you pointers early into a new job.
Long work day today. Boss man wants me in until 9 and I start my shift at 11:30 with a one hour break.
Hey, I gotta make that money. Top surgery ain't gonna pay for itself.....and neither are the random items I buy Ebay/Amazon
Quote from: King Malachite on June 28, 2014, 10:18:58 AM
Long work day today. Boss man wants me in until 9 and I start my shift at 11:30 with a one hour break.
Hey, I gotta make that money. Top surgery ain't gonna pay for itself.....and neither are the random items I buy Ebay/Amazon
Hmmmmm you should get a couple of 15 minute breaks in there too. You're a hard charger Malachite, it's going to pay off!
It's my first birthday as Chistopher. I have hated my birthday for decades. Today is special though. I am Christopher :D
Thinking about the negatives of transitioning. I still want to do it but I can't help but think about how much more alienated I will be from my parents, what the neighbors will say and whether I will pass as a guy within a few months of taking T. I really need to stop overthinking this.
Quote from: Shantel on June 28, 2014, 10:14:15 AM
Better cut yourself a little slack hon, you need some time to learn the ropes and it's always nice to have someone looking over your shoulder giving you pointers early into a new job.
Yeah, he's a good guy and very good at his job. He was just trying to help me be better, not only for my sake but for the sake of the people I work with. And I respect his straightforwardness.
Tomorrow is our pride parade here and I'm so frakin excited......cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote from: MyKa on June 28, 2014, 06:19:09 PM
Tomorrow is our pride parade here and I'm so frakin excited......cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!
Due to brother's/mother's birthday dinner happening tomorrow, I can't make it to LGBT Pride March. AGAIN. :-\
why do I keep reading that as "twice the bondage" instead of twice the boobage ::)
Quote from: christopher on June 28, 2014, 07:16:35 PM
why do I keep reading that as "twice the bondage" instead of twice the boobage ::)
must have bondage on your brain onii-chan xD
Quote from: christopher on June 28, 2014, 07:16:35 PM
why do I keep reading that as "twice the bondage" instead of twice the boobage ::)
Drag your mind up into the gutter young man.
Need to clean out my fridge. Do I have to give the lifeforms inside two weeks notice to move out, or can I just turn the flame thrower on them.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 28, 2014, 07:56:16 PM
Drag your mind up into the gutter young man.
Need to clean out my fridge. Do I have to give the lifeforms inside two weeks notice to move out, or can I just turn the flame thrower on them.
flamethrower! thats the best form of evictionxD
Have to wake up at 4:15 am or so. -_- Hope I can actually fall asleep this time.
Quote from: Shantel on June 28, 2014, 10:24:06 AM
Hmmmmm you should get a couple of 15 minute breaks in there too. You're a hard charger Malachite, it's going to pay off!
Lets hope so! I'm glad to be home. I gotta admit, it does make me feel all manly to be working now.
i'm thinikng if i get struck by lightning, i'll become the flash o: i should try it just for the heck of it
Quote from: christopher on June 28, 2014, 10:01:00 PM
Can I blame it on the T? lol
no, no you cant mister! xD
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 28, 2014, 07:06:29 PM
Due to brother's/mother's birthday dinner happening tomorrow, I can't make it to LGBT Pride March. AGAIN. :-\
I'm sorry :(
Quote from: MyKa on June 28, 2014, 10:53:22 PM
I'm sorry :(
It's okay. Just my luck that my brother's/mother's birthday are both at the end of June.
curses it. i hate thinking. it causes me to get super headaches -.-
I don't drink yet I feel like a glass of wine. Say a 750ml glass minimum
Ever get the feeling you've been played?
Netherlands vs Mexico is going to be a death match.
I need to motorvate. guess I should put on the coffee.
;D;D
Quote from: Edge on June 24, 2014, 10:28:56 PM
I want to be a troll for Halloween. I've been planning my costume. I got the ears. There's just one problem.
*looks in the mirror*
I'm going to make a very pretty troll...
so then go as a Trollop! :D
as in Robert Asprin you naughty people.
Quote from: learningtolive on June 29, 2014, 09:58:41 AM
Ever get the feeling you've been played?
All the time....
I'm thinking, "do I really wanna do this" and "how far do I go"? I gave up on finding an endo close and settled on one 70 miles away. They wanted a recommendation letter even just to make an appointment to discuss whether I should do low dose E or do T therapy as my wife would prefer.
I emailed my therapist, we went back and forth. She talked to the endo, then asked me some more questions. Now we have an appointment for tomorrow evening to discuss it and just maybe draft the letter. Forgot to mention, I'm my therapist's first trans client. The insurance company mis-labeled her. This has really focussed my mind. I do want to do this. I'm not really sure I even want to slow thus down anymore. If the inevitable outcome is that I transition completely and my marriage fails does it make any sense to slow it down and be less happy hoping my wife will come around?
She gets homophobic when it's close to her and has already told me she's too ashamed to talk to anyone about my being trans, not even a therapist.
Funny, I hadn't meant for this to be so long.
They seriously need to re-think sizing on clothing. My leggings are size 0X. I mean, it's supposed to read "Zero- X", but I'm reading it as "OX"- as in large bovine. That's not triggering or anything... *le sigh*
Quote from: Jill F on June 29, 2014, 12:55:52 PM
They seriously need to re-think sizing on clothing. My leggings are size 0X. I mean, it's supposed to read "Zero- X", but I'm reading it as "OX"- as in large bovine. That's not triggering or anything... *le sigh*
Waaa haha, only you would think of that Jill! :D :laugh:
I need to get out of the flat, I'm going for a walk down by the river and then I'll buy a sandwich XD
I need to eat sensibly
Quote from: Aisla on June 29, 2014, 03:08:47 PM
I need to eat sensibly
The only issue I ever have with that is that sensibly never seems to taste that great.
Quote from: Jill F on June 29, 2014, 12:55:52 PM
They seriously need to re-think sizing on clothing. My leggings are size 0X. I mean, it's supposed to read "Zero- X", but I'm reading it as "OX"- as in large bovine. That's not triggering or anything... *le sigh*
if it was for men's wear, then it would mean "Entwhistle only"
Quote from: the old mare on June 29, 2014, 03:09:47 PM
The only issue I ever have with that is that sensibly never seems to taste that great.
I agree but on the odd occasion that it does taste great, sensibly means never enough to feel satisfied
Apparently, I was talking my sister's head off so much, she tried to slip out to go grab some cake to bring it back when my mom said to me to put on a shirt ( I had a robe on but it wasn't covered) to get a moment of quietness, but I got in the car just in time. Then she told me that she would pay me all the change she had in the front of her car if I got out to let her go driving in peace so I accepted. I made .81 cents and put it in my top surgery fund.
I have to wonder at which point I crossed the line of "female" to "male", at least in terms of social appearances.
I mean, I am seen as male all the time now. But that wasn't always the case. At what point did the scale tip, what was the "clincher" that made me definitively male in people's eyes?
I don't wanna go back to school ;________;
2 days...
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 29, 2014, 03:05:54 AM
I don't drink yet I feel like a glass of wine. Say a 750ml glass minimum
I miss being able to drink. I didn't drink that often. But, I pint a month is nice. But, I can't touch it now. It kind of sucks sometimes.
i'm thinking its time to do a full body shot lol but idk
I'm thinking perhaps I could use some relationship advice.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on June 29, 2014, 08:27:11 PM
I miss being able to drink. I didn't drink that often. But, I pint a month is nice. But, I can't touch it now. It kind of sucks sometimes.
Medical reasons stopped me. I don't miss it. Just some days the possibility of waking up in a hospital bed, and the argument that one drink an hour ago does not mean your drinking. Seems an okay idea at the time
Quote from: immortal gypsy on June 29, 2014, 09:32:35 PM
Medical reasons stopped me. I don't miss it. Just some days the possibility of waking up in a hospital bed, and the argument that one drink an hour ago does not mean your drinking. Seems an okay idea at the time
Yeah, I can see that. But I got my drinking under control a long time ago. That's why it annoys me sometimes. In the old days, I drank with the goal being to get completely smashed. Before I was taking the meds that I am now, I could have a good drink a month and be happy with that. But that is no longer an option. Mixing booze and my meds are a VERY scary thing.
Just got done eeking one out. Now what? What do I do now! I'm so confused!
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 29, 2014, 10:22:34 PM
Just got done eeking one out. Now what? What do I do now! I'm so confused!
...what?
yay for gluten free cookies
Will I get this cashier job once I do my job interview today?
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 30, 2014, 10:20:19 AM
Will I get this cashier job once I do my job interview today?
Be cool, breath deeply and think positively!
Thinking about Edge the last 2 days. I can't figure out why though.
Quote from: Shantel on June 30, 2014, 10:24:29 AM
Be cool, breath deeply and think positively!
Thanks, I will! Gonna head out right now.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 30, 2014, 12:12:15 PM
Thanks, I will! Gonna head out right now.
Sending positive vibes your way. Go get 'em tiger.
Trying to determine the proper Dutch spelling for my last name, it either translates to "from the signal" or "from the sun"
So I'm either Batwoman or an extraterrestrial...
Quote from: LordKAT on June 30, 2014, 12:16:21 PM
Sending positive vibes your way. Go get 'em tiger.
I just came back, short interview and the manager wasn't there but the guy said he'll give my resume in. :-\
It was apparently a waitressing job even though it said cashier job on Craigslist.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 30, 2014, 01:21:46 PM
I just came back, short interview and the manager wasn't there but the guy said he'll give my resume in. :-\
It was apparently a waitressing job even though it said cashier job on Craigslist.
Some do better in tips than they get hourly, give it a shot if you get the chance!
Quote from: Shantel on June 30, 2014, 02:12:29 PM
Some do better in tips than they get hourly, give it a shot if you get the chance!
Hopefully I get a call back but I'm still looking. :-\
Quote from: LordKAT on June 30, 2014, 11:59:25 AM
Thinking about Edge the last 2 days. I can't figure out why though.
Now I'm curious.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 30, 2014, 01:21:46 PM
I just came back, short interview and the manager wasn't there but the guy said he'll give my resume in. :-\
It was apparently a waitressing job even though it said cashier job on Craigslist.
Do you think you'll get it?
What does one call someone that they are potentially starting a relationship with, but it's still in very early days and they're not sure what exactly they are yet?
Quote from: Edge on June 30, 2014, 02:24:28 PM
What does one call someone that they are potentially starting a relationship with, but it's still in very early days and they're not sure what exactly they are yet?
close friend?
Someone who's just close to you, without sex, you call a friend, regardless of gender.
Someone closer who's male you call a boyfriend, if female a girlfriend.
What do you call them if they're androgynous?
Quote from: Dee Walker on June 30, 2014, 02:42:10 PM
Someone who's just close to you, without sex, you call a friend, regardless of gender.
Someone closer who's male you call a boyfriend, if female a girlfriend.
What do you call them if they're androgynous?
Genderfriend?
To clarify, we're not close friends. We just met on thursday, I asked him out on sunday, we're still getting to know each other, and we both have romantic intentions.
Quote from: Shantel on June 30, 2014, 02:12:29 PM
Some do better in tips than they get hourly, give it a shot if you get the chance!
Ah yes, my tips were always double or triple or more compared to my hourly when I worked service jobs
Quote from: Blue Senpai on June 30, 2014, 02:20:36 PM
Hopefully I get a call back but I'm still looking. :-\
I hope you get a call back also
Why do I search for validation? Why did Cordelia Fine's book Delusions of Gender send me into a spin even though she didn't deal with the impact of cross sex hrt and neural structure on dysphoria. Why do I sense or fear that she would debunk or reject the only explanation of TG which resonates with me? Why is her opinion or validation important to me?
Aisla
Chuck e cheese on Thursday.....I am so there! Can't wait!
Why is it illegal for me to sell my kidneys?
I'm in my bear onsie right now.
Quote from: King Malachite on June 30, 2014, 08:47:04 PM
Chuck e cheese on Thursday.....I am so there! Can't wait!
I don't like Chuck E Cheese. Their pizza really sucks and that place is WAY too noisy. I remember going there for the birthday party of a friend's daughter and I had a splitting headache within an hour. I remember saying to my uncle: "I've been listening to nothing but Harsh Noise music for two days at super high volumes. Leave it to THIS place to give me a headache."
Did I mention that their pizza really sucks?
However, I did find one redeeming factor at Chuck E Cheese: Skee Ball. I hadn't played it since I was a child and I had a blast. It also took my mind off of my headache. :D But I usually go during school hours now since it's much quieter there.
Listening to a song that moves way too fast and it got me excited and now I can't focus on my work. =/
In other news, I suck and I'm going to have to put in a lot more work to finish this project than I thought. *sigh* I just want to be done.
What I'm I thinking, 1:3o am sitting here listening to music making my bed crying my ass off. Christinia perri's thousand years prob set me off one of those moods. Idk I should be happy as hell "blend in" 99% of the time own my own business but I'm ..........alone and it f'ing kills me. 7 yrs now. There will never be that "fairy tail" ending for me. Why cause I'm an it and no body wants an it. Don't know how much more of this I can't take.
Yesterday was pride here unless the lgb friends of mine had asked me to go I wouldn't have went. I tagged along to support them, I hate what I am this f'ing curse. There's only one why to cure it and don't even have the balls to do it. Yes my 4o cal to my head and end this sh!t. Idk :/
Not doing great.
Quote from: MyKa on July 01, 2014, 01:51:20 AM
What I'm I thinking, 1:3o am sitting here listening to music making my bed crying my ass off. Christinia perri's thousand years prob set me off one of those moods. Idk I should be happy as hell "blend in" 99% of the time own my own business but I'm ..........alone and it ->-bleeped-<-ing kills me. 7 yrs now. There will never be that "ferry tail" ending for me. Why cause I'm an it and no body wants an it. Don't know how much more of this I can't take.
Yesterday was pride here unless the lgb friends of mine had asked me to go I wouldn't have went. I tagged along to support them, I hate what I am this ->-bleeped-<-ing curse. There's only one why to cure it and don't even have the balls to do it. Yes my 4o cal to my head and end this sh!t. Idk :/
I'm so sorry MyKa. I don't know if this is any consolation, but I was just about to post in here saying I was just listening to music and crying my ass off too. Except I was making a blog post that I decided against publishing. And I'm feeling sad for many of the same reasons that you are, honestly.
You're not alone. I can tell you this, as someone who spent years wanting to end it, don't ever follow through on those desires. So often, this picture has proven to be true for my experience:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-H-lxd6rLmUg%2FUPE6Bs-BHWI%2FAAAAAAAABmM%2Fgxva7XKdG34%2Fs1600%2Fkeep%2Bdigging.PNG&hash=1d561448a04cc8e33b7c810755db8771e44810c2)
Sorry birkin your feeling the same :( it's crazy how music sets you off on an emotional roller coaster. Like I said I don't have the balls prob never will I'm stuck here in this living hell
Is it wrong for me to answer the door in a bikini and stroll around when I know the cute young missionary boys will be about?
Quote from: V M on July 01, 2014, 05:15:37 AM
Is it wrong for me to answer the door in a bikini and stroll around when I know the cute young missionary boys will be about?
You temptress you. Well how are they to know if they are on the right path if you don't.
Thinking of staying on the train instead of getting of at my stop. It is very cold outside tonight
I think that only works til you hit the end of the line.
No our trains usually stop for awhile then go right on back. There is one that leaves around midnight and gets back in around 6/7. I've seen people ride it, sad that they have to but it beats spending a cold night outside with nowhere to go
Quote from: V M on July 01, 2014, 05:15:37 AM
Is it wrong for me to answer the door in a bikini and stroll around when I know the cute young missionary boys will be about?
Not if you can cause them to stutter, look at their feet and shuffle during their presentation, then you will have done the Lord's work! :icon_peace:
Quote from: MyKa on July 01, 2014, 01:51:20 AM
What I'm I thinking, 1:3o am sitting here listening to music making my bed crying my ass off. Christinia perri's thousand years prob set me off one of those moods. Idk I should be happy as hell "blend in" 99% of the time own my own business but I'm ..........alone and it ->-bleeped-<-ing kills me. 7 yrs now. There will never be that "fairy tail" ending for me. Why cause I'm an it and no body wants an it. Don't know how much more of this I can't take.
Yesterday was pride here unless the lgb friends of mine had asked me to go I wouldn't have went. I tagged along to support them, I hate what I am this ->-bleeped-<-ing curse. There's only one why to cure it and don't even have the balls to do it. Yes my 4o cal to my head and end this sh!t. Idk :/
Been there MyKa, don't do it hon! There's more to life, expand your horizons and reach out to others, it can be very satisfying and fulfilling.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on July 01, 2014, 06:55:46 AM
No our trains usually stop for awhile then go right on back. There is one that leaves around midnight and gets back in around 6/7. I've seen people ride it, sad that they have to but it beats spending a cold night outside with nowhere to go
I used to do that with greyhound busses.
Quote from: Shantel on July 01, 2014, 08:16:12 AM
Not if you can cause them to stutter, look at their feet and shuffle during their presentation, then you will have done the Lord's work! :icon_peace:
LOL... They do stutter, look at their feet and shuffle about a bit, I offered them lemonade, but they seem to think they should get going to their next appointment for some reason
Quote from: Evelyn K on June 30, 2014, 11:06:00 PM
Why is it illegal for me to sell my kidneys?
That was random. :laugh:
Wishing I was Korean. I find I fit with the culture better than I thought.
Superhero cape Tuedays in full effect.
Pizza Hut is no longer offering the P-Zone. That sucks. Oh well...they just lost me as a customer since that was the only thing I ordered from them these days.
Whether or not to just go up to my dad and say sorry, even though all I did was ignore him since he never said sorry to me.
i've official lost grip on my sanity :o
I was cooking and my mom dumped in a bunch of stuff from the fridge into my food. See, in the majority of cases this wouldn't bother me, but my family is REALLY bad for leaving food out way too long and then putting it in the fridge. So I can just imagine this meat and this onion being left out for hours, may I add in the summer heat. I would really prefer not to get food poisoning the day before my first official day at my second job.
I'm thinking about getting cornrows. I'm just worried people will think I'm tryna look a certain way. Why must certain styles have any kinda connotations?
I went to the endo and got weighed in today. I couldn't believe that I had actually gained some weight when I was positve I must have lost a bit. I eat well and don't eat a lot of carbs, I exercise (apparently not enough... le sigh), and haven't been drinking at all. Long story short, I thought I was 20 pounds lighter than I really am. (I think it all went to mah butt...)
So, I'll dust off a Jill-ism for the day.
Flabbergasted- when you suddenly realize how much weight you've recently put on.
i think i might give being a female a try again. felt out a place a little bit. i'm more of a tomboy type lol
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on July 01, 2014, 06:09:46 PM
i think i might give being a female a try again. felt out a place a little bit. i'm more of a tomboy type lol
You're over thinking and it's not helping you discover yourself. You'll never figure out your answers when everything's up in the air. Chill out and let the dust settle for a while and when it does the right path should be clear..then after that it's just a matter of following it and sticking to it no matter what.
That sounded like a fortune cookie, sorry. But just my two cents
I'm thinking that I want to rock out right about now.
I think I'm menstruating.
Quote from: Evelyn K on July 01, 2014, 09:10:02 PM
I think I'm menstruating.
To be honest, I kinda miss it. It's really not as bad as advertised.
why don't I want to draw? is it just because of how tired I am? if I did draw, what do I want to draw
also... I am a fan of emoticons. >:-) I notice they don't get used much here but I am going to rebel and use them :icon_evil:
Quote from: V M on July 01, 2014, 05:15:37 AM
Is it wrong for me to answer the door in a bikini and stroll around when I know the cute young missionary boys will be about?
lol. I just fell in love with you.
Will I ever find a decent job among these clear Craiglist scams?
Quote from: jussmoi on July 01, 2014, 07:30:06 PM
You're over thinking and it's not helping you discover yourself. You'll never figure out your answers when everything's up in the air. Chill out and let the dust settle for a while and when it does the right path should be clear..then after that it's just a matter of following it and sticking to it no matter what.
That sounded like a fortune cookie, sorry. But just my two cents
eh, i know. just feeling highly uncomfortably so imma go out and try both spectrums and see if i can find some comfortability. overthinking seems to the only thing i'm doing these days. *sigh*
bleh, now they've issued a hurricane watch for here. That sucks for people's fourth of july plans. Wonder if my brothers and their families are still coming down for the fourth. I'll wait til tomorrow before I worry about putting away outside chairs, taking down porch swings and such.
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 02, 2014, 07:33:42 AM
bleh, now they've issued a hurricane watch for here. That sucks for people's fourth of july plans. Wonder if my brothers and their families are still coming down for the fourth. I'll wait til tomorrow before I worry about putting away outside chairs, taking down porch swings and such.
I've been thinking about you since they started talking about it on the news. Hope it's nothing that big!
My mom really needs to stop criticizing everything I do.
My boyfriend just came out as bi to this mom. It didn't go well.
Quote from: Shantel on July 02, 2014, 07:55:00 AM
I've been thinking about you since they started talking about it on the news. Hope it's nothing that big!
originally, it was supposed to just stay tropical, but now its going over more open warmer water, so its hard to say how strong it will get. I just don't want the inconvenience of it, I'm not worried about damage so much.
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 02, 2014, 08:59:22 AM
originally, it was supposed to just stay tropical, but now its going over more open warmer water, so its hard to say how strong it will get. I just don't want the inconvenience of it, I'm not worried about damage so much.
I get that, you live in hurricane alley! I worked insurance claims there following Hurricane Fran a dozen years back up in the Raleigh-Durham area. I never knew for certain what direction I was going on that beltway, what a goofy highway system, the planners must have been drinking their lunch when they came up with that idea!
I'm thinking that I'm sad about the USA losing to Belgium last night, but I am also happy that I won't have friends urging me to binge drink with them on a Tuesday again anytime soon.
Cutting the beer out of my diet for good. Too many calories!
Quote from: Edge on July 02, 2014, 08:44:53 AM
My boyfriend just came out as bi to this mom. It didn't go well.
I hope that is only an initial reaction and that she comes around fairly soon.
Quote from: Edge on July 02, 2014, 08:44:53 AM
My boyfriend just came out as bi to this mom. It didn't go well.
Whoa! Wait, boyfriend? Where was I when this happened? lol Is it the guy you had a crush on?
Quote from: LordKAT on July 02, 2014, 11:17:11 AM
I hope that is only an initial reaction and that she comes around fairly soon.
Me too.
Quote from: FA on July 02, 2014, 11:31:34 AM
Whoa! Wait, boyfriend? Where was I when this happened? lol Is it the guy you had a crush on?
No, he's a different guy. I feel kinda silly about it. I met him last thursday and he's one of the group of people I went to the anime convention with. I don't know how exactly, but we got interested in each other pretty quickly.
That made me wonder who's gonna be at otakon. :O
What would Frodo do if he was falling down Alice in Wonderland's rabbit hole?
Quote from: Evelyn K on July 02, 2014, 02:52:58 PM
What would Frodo do if he was falling down Alice in Wonderland's rabbit hole?
I am going to be wondering this for the next hour.
Me too. I watched Alice last night.
My favorite UFC Fighters:
Hugo Viana
Benson Henderson
Stefan Struve
Roy Nelson
George St. Pierre
I'm sure there's more but that's all I can remember right now
I just have to say. God I hate cats. I mean, I just hate them. They have these smug little faces and actually just have no substance to their personality. They just sit there and seem to be such selfish creatures. Like I get somewhat annoyed when I see cat pictures all over a place like tumblr. The appeal makes no sense to me. Definitely a dog person. Just hate cats. -_- lol sorry to anyone that owns a cat but yeah
Quote from: birkin on July 02, 2014, 11:21:47 PM
I just have to say. God I hate cats. I mean, I just hate them. They have these smug little faces and actually just have no substance to their personality. They just sit there and seem to be such selfish creatures. Like I get somewhat annoyed when I see cat pictures all over a place like tumblr. The appeal makes no sense to me. Definitely a dog person. Just hate cats. -_- lol sorry to anyone that owns a cat but yeah
*loves my 2 cats* :(
you have to get infected by the cat parasite maybe? ;D idk
also my cats have plenty of personality. My cat my cat, the one that I chose, she does everything with me! And we have conversations every morning, and she always waits for me by the door when I get home from doing stuff! :) and she loves hugs!
Quote from: birkin on July 02, 2014, 11:21:47 PM
I just have to say. God I hate cats. I mean, I just hate them. They have these smug little faces and actually just have no substance to their personality. They just sit there and seem to be such selfish creatures. Like I get somewhat annoyed when I see cat pictures all over a place like tumblr. The appeal makes no sense to me. Definitely a dog person. Just hate cats. -_- lol sorry to anyone that owns a cat but yeah
Hear! Hear! H8 cats FTW!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi57.tinypic.com%2F255qr8j.jpg&hash=6f9d8f4ee7eb335cf8a1c0f584a090020d671b38)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Fdq18u9.jpg&hash=a8c6aa98fc7d1e6242487dea57a5c4cf0ff9d7da) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi61.tinypic.com%2F14tvhiq.jpg&hash=6dc7810f33cb4c12df665ea04110a005ac7bda92) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Fdq18u9.jpg&hash=a8c6aa98fc7d1e6242487dea57a5c4cf0ff9d7da)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Fdq18u9.jpg&hash=a8c6aa98fc7d1e6242487dea57a5c4cf0ff9d7da) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2F20fqcrl.jpg&hash=81193718bde56841070423f4e6df59c479a845b9) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Fdq18u9.jpg&hash=a8c6aa98fc7d1e6242487dea57a5c4cf0ff9d7da)
What is it with today's society and queues. I swear if you stand still long enough some random stranger will get behind you thinking you are waiting for something and you have to be in that spot to get it
When I was growing up, my dad's best friend was a british guy who collected motorcycles and played chess and hated cats with a vocal passion. I had no idea it was possible to hate cats before I met that man. Apparently it wasn't just him. I love my cat, but didn't want to get one (I'm not very affectionate) and still can't understand how anyone could have a strong opinion on the matter if they don't own one.
I had a surgery on my hand a couple months ago, and they accidentally nicked the median nerve, and all my thoughts today keep getting pushed out by my forearm being apparently on fire. I'm surrounded by methheads, and too aware of how tweaker-like my compulsive forearm rubbing is.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on July 03, 2014, 12:51:50 AM
What is it with today's society and queues. I swear if you stand still long enough some random stranger will get behind you thinking you are waiting for something and you have to be in that spot to get it
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FZHkLWVq.jpg&hash=d1c69d0e7f6dbba69c679279bd7452182a31c016)
captioned "He thinks he has to wait in line to get a treat!"
Dogs FTW!
Children these days....
I know how much people's cats can mean to them but I just can't love the cats lol. I guess it has part to do with my allergies.
...but KATs are nice!
Quote from: LordKAT on July 03, 2014, 03:39:19 AM
...but KATs are nice!
The K makes all the difference. ;D It's only the C cats that concern me.
I'm thinking i need to stop sneaking food ._.
I want to respond to every thread with "you should live in a tree and make crackers and cookies." I don't see how that could ever go wrong. :laugh:
Quote from: Felix on July 03, 2014, 04:40:48 AM
I want to respond to every thread with "you should live in a tree and make crackers and cookies." I don't see how that could ever go wrong. :laugh:
Unless you are a sleep walker. Living in a tree could find you waking up on the ground.
Quote from: Felix on July 03, 2014, 04:40:48 AM
I want to respond to every thread with "you should live in a tree and make crackers and cookies." I don't see how that could ever go wrong. :laugh:
I don't feal safe in this world no more. I don't want to die in a nuclear war. I want to sail away to a distant shore and make like an apeman. Apeman The kinks.
Sorry that just came in my head
Do I have a chance with my best friend?
Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 03, 2014, 07:22:56 AM
Do I have a chance with my best friend?
Didn't the Berlin wall come down in a single day? Brace yourself, anything is possible now days!
I'm thinking that everything is really great for me right now, probably better than things have ever been before, and the future only promises to get even better, but I can't stop being afraid that it is all too good to be true and something awful is about to happen
Quote from: Shantel on July 03, 2014, 08:34:50 AM
Didn't the Berlin wall come down in a single day? Brace yourself, anything is possible now days!
Haha,thanks! She says she only likes me as a friend but I'm hoping that might change.
Quote from: Felix on July 03, 2014, 04:40:48 AM
I want to respond to every thread with "you should live in a tree and make crackers and cookies." I don't see how that could ever go wrong. :laugh:
LOL!!! Yes. please do
Quote from: Evelyn K on July 02, 2014, 02:52:58 PM
What would Frodo do if he was falling down Alice in Wonderland's rabbit hole?
well, cool, now I have something fun to think about
This might be a little inconvenient tonight. And it will hit near high tide for us too.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FmeanoldhurricaneArthur.jpg&hash=06afe691e0125dc301afd6a3e41fecd1f30a5b4c)
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 03, 2014, 11:02:53 AM
This might be a little inconvenient tonight. And it will hit near high tide for us too.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FmeanoldhurricaneArthur.jpg&hash=06afe691e0125dc301afd6a3e41fecd1f30a5b4c)
Good luck, will be thinking of you girlfriend. Got all the survival supplies and gear in place?
Quote from: Shantel on July 03, 2014, 11:28:14 AM
Good luck, will be thinking of you girlfriend. Got all the survival supplies and gear in place?
Pretty much. Just have to secure a few things outside today.
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 03, 2014, 11:30:59 AM
Pretty much. Just have to secure a few things outside today.
Be safe!
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 03, 2014, 11:02:53 AM
This might be a little inconvenient tonight. And it will hit near high tide for us too.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FmeanoldhurricaneArthur.jpg&hash=06afe691e0125dc301afd6a3e41fecd1f30a5b4c)
I spy that this is going to be impacting quite a bit in NYC.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 03, 2014, 11:50:32 AM
I spy that this is going to be impacting quite a bit in NYC.
At least a lot of rain!
I'm having seriously weird thoughts about dropping SRS and keeping the penis. What the heck is wrong with me now? When I said to the surgeon "I need more time", I'm not sure if I was not interested on the surgery outcome or if I actually I'm having doubts about it.
I hope all of you out that way come through the hurricane ok.
Quote from: Shantel on July 03, 2014, 12:11:40 PM
At least a lot of rain!
Probably since the sky looked like it was falling yesterday night and couldn't see clearly out my window.
Quote from: christopher on July 03, 2014, 01:15:33 PM
I hope all of you out that way come through the hurricane ok.
Had a rough half hour on part of my commute home, but got there safely.
Waiting anxiously to see the draft of my HRT letter.
A while back my dog ruined my Resident Evil 6 game by knocking my Xbox over while it was on. I still love her. But oh do I ever miss playing as Helena because she was so easy on the eyes:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1-1.gamewise.co%2F115446-large.jpeg&hash=e606d0607991eb1d6ca86ae60e8386f4a1b33f1e)
If she was real I'd have the biggest crush on her.
I know I should be cleaning, but I suddenly feel really tired and want a nap. At least I cleaned most of the kitchen.
I really want to eat something, but I'm not sure if I'm actually hungry or just bored...
How did it get cloudy in a matter of minutes...?
omg! my hair got 10x softer! couldnt and still cant keep my hands out my hair
BBQ or Mexican tonight? Tough choice...
Going on obscenely healthy diet plan next tuesday to drop 30+ pounds by the end of the year, so it's the last hurrah for me for a bit.
Jill, step away from the tequila shots...
Quote from: Jill F on July 03, 2014, 06:40:28 PM
BBQ or Mexican tonight? Tough choice...
Going on obscenely healthy diet plan next tuesday to drop 30+ pounds by the end of the year, so it's the last hurrah for me for a bit.
Jill, step away from the tequila shots...
Baby back ribs roasting in a spicy chipotle sauce at this very minute.
Quote from: Jill F on July 03, 2014, 06:40:28 PM
BBQ or Mexican tonight? Tough choice...
Going on obscenely healthy diet plan next tuesday to drop 30+ pounds by the end of the year, so it's the last hurrah for me for a bit.
Jill, step away from the tequila shots...
I'm having homemade tacos tomorrow with guacamole. World Cup 2014 quarterfinals!
you people are making me hungry
take pity on me. I'm sick and even when I'm healthy I'm hopeless with food. Someone make me something tasty.
i think i might just sleep until next week xD cant believe how fast this month wait has gone xD
Pretty sure I have a cold coming on. -_- Probably partly due to the lack of sleep I've had since starting work, but bleh. Hope it clears up with no issues.
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 03, 2014, 08:03:03 PM
Power is getting wonky now and really windy and lots of heavy rain. I heard the fuse blow that goes to the line going out on the ridge to the old house out there.
ah, you to? my power keep cutting on and off. i thought it was due to the ACs
I had fun at Chucky Cheese. Got most of my tickets from when he was throwing them, and I found some more tickets here and there. I had more than enough to finally get a pair of vampire teeth. I had enough to get two more small things, but I transferred that to my nephew because he's awesome and I love him. I should have gotten a spin top though, lol. Next time I'm going to try and get a Chuckee Cheese Whistle and a spin top. My nephew and I were searching for tickets on the ground. He found a half ticket and it still registered as one. He found one that was like 1/3rd of a ticket and they still counted it in the machine. I also found two pennies there. I added that to my top surgery fund. I had a good time and couldn't wait to jet out of work to go. I plan on going next time too. I want that whistle and for 50 tickets, that may be possible when I start picking up the tickets off the ground with the kids when Chucky throws them out.
Quote from: birkin on July 03, 2014, 08:08:40 PM
Pretty sure I have a cold coming on. -_- Probably partly due to the lack of sleep I've had since starting work, but bleh. Hope it clears up with no issues.
it's definitely been going around my work. I've got it now. It's not too bad for me but a couple people missed several days of work.
imma through mal into a pizza suit xD
Quote from: christopher on July 03, 2014, 08:40:44 PM
it's definitely been going around my work. I've got it now. It's not too bad for me but a couple people missed several days of work.
That sucks. :( Hope you feel better soon.
Fortunately, I work 3 hours tomorrow, have Saturday off...so maybe I can get past the worst of it before working Sunday.
Quote from: birkin on July 03, 2014, 08:42:25 PM
That sucks. :( Hope you feel better soon.
Fortunately, I work 3 hours tomorrow, have Saturday off...so maybe I can get past the worst of it before working Sunday.
on the bright side, my voice deeper
Quote from: King Malachite on July 03, 2014, 08:38:11 PM
I had fun at Chucky Cheese. Got most of my tickets from when he was throwing them, and I found some more tickets here and there. I had more than enough to finally get a pair of vampire teeth. I had enough to get two more small things, but I transferred that to my nephew because he's awesome and I love him. I should have gotten a spin top though, lol. Next time I'm going to try and get a Chuckee Cheese Whistle and a spin top. My nephew and I were searching for tickets on the ground. He found a half ticket and it still registered as one. He found one that was like 1/3rd of a ticket and they still counted it in the machine. I also found two pennies there. I added that to my top surgery fund. I had a good time and couldn't wait to jet out of work to go. I plan on going next time too. I want that whistle and for 50 tickets, that may be possible when I start picking up the tickets off the ground with the kids when Chucky throws them out.
I usually give my Skee Ball tickets to people when I'm there. One time I did it and a woman gave me $2 in tokens. :D I played some more Skee Ball and gave those tickets away too.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on July 03, 2014, 09:45:01 PM
I usually give my Skee Ball tickets to people when I'm there. One time I did it and a woman gave me $2 in tokens. :D I played some more Skee Ball and gave those tickets away too.
I played that there and it was fun! I couldn't get the ones in the corner for 10,000 points, but my nephew got one. There was a ball stuck there and I wanted to get it out to roll it, but he got to in before me and made the roll. I personally find spinning the wheel for more tickets to be addicting. This is definitely children's version of gambling!
and no pizza suit, Vamp, lol
The eye went right over and so is pretty much direct hit. Now just got the backside to go through.
I did a video. Not that anyone watches them, heh, but I got past my block.
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 03, 2014, 11:20:05 PM
The eye went right over and so is pretty much direct hit. Now just got the backside to go through.
glad you are doing ok so far. And you still have power? wow.
I read the blog that shall not be named and there was this obviously made up story about how someone transitioned and then got AIDS from testosterone. Lol as if!
Why can you call Wagga Wagga, Wagga. But you can't call Woy Woy, Woy?
Unless you know these two towns you might not know what I'm on about, but try saying it ten times fast
I want ffs I think.
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on July 04, 2014, 01:03:50 AM
I want ffs I think.
Ffs = fabulous fluffy sweetie?
Ya I don't know.
Quote from: birkin on July 04, 2014, 12:25:56 AM
I read the blog that shall not be named and there was this obviously made up story about how someone transitioned and then got AIDS from testosterone. Lol as if!
What? Were they sharing needles or something?
Sharing needles lol. How weird would that be for T? She did mention something about them having sex with gay men so maybe it is that old stereotype. In any case the story was so overdramatize I refuse to believe it.
Thinking I'll have to give Cody some doggie drugs when the fireworks start in earnest, poor fella takes the booming bombs and whistling Pete's pretty hard and it's tough on his nerves.
imma try to keep my actually pic up longer than a day
Do I want to get out of bed this morning? Noooooooooooooooooooooooo...........! :)
One of the current members of Alestorm is ridiculously pretty.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 03, 2014, 08:38:11 PM
I also found two pennies there. I added that to my top surgery fund.
LOL This is inspiring. Where there's a will, there's a way!
Quote from: Ms Grace on July 04, 2014, 03:30:49 PM
Do I want to get out of bed this morning? Noooooooooooooooooooooooo...........! :)
It's Saturday for why should you and staying in bed sounds like a great idea
Is Brazil going to win against Colombia tonight?
Guess who has to wear the bunny suit for a birthday party tomorrow....
Quote from: King Malachite on July 04, 2014, 04:17:23 PM
Guess who has to wear the bunny suit for a birthday party tomorrow....
Portia Porcupine?
Since wednesday i have been having this weeird feeling about my father possibly dying. He just went to the hospital. He is ok for now i was told by my sister
So my thoughts? Bleuh not good :(
Quote from: Shantel on July 04, 2014, 02:13:55 PM
Thinking I'll have to give Cody some doggie drugs when the fireworks start in earnest, poor fella takes the booming bombs and whistling Pete's pretty hard and it's tough on his nerves.
similar here
Another major holiday spent alone. Christmas was the worse but none of them are easy :(
Quote from: MyKa on July 04, 2014, 06:19:29 PM
Another major holiday spent alone. Christmas was the worse but none of them are easy :(
I know that feeling all too well. Christmas, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, and New Years Eve are the worst for me. -hugs-
Quote from: King Malachite on July 04, 2014, 04:17:23 PM
Guess who has to wear the bunny suit for a birthday party tomorrow....
Friends and I have always said pictures or it never happened. It always made us so hard to blackmail.
But in your case My Liege ;). .... (if it gets bad think of your top fund)
Quote from: MyKa on July 04, 2014, 06:19:29 PM
Another major holiday spent alone. Christmas was the worse but none of them are easy :(
Hugs across the internet to MyKa for spending a special day alone when nobody should ever have to
Hugs to you guys as well!! Thank you
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 03, 2014, 11:20:05 PM
The eye went right over and so is pretty much direct hit. Now just got the backside to go through.
Hang in there hon, been thinking of you!
Quote from: christopher on July 04, 2014, 06:04:54 PM
similar here
Yeah, I'm thinking is this really necessary? Something really loud went off, the dog wasn't completely under yet but lying down on his side, it startled him, his eyes rolled up in the top of his head and his body went rigid and he peed all over the carpet. I thought he was having a stroke. I was sweet to him and didn't yell, poor fella, we have a green carpet machine so no big deal.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F320x240q90%2F845%2F4irb.jpg&hash=9b0fb46af6a80a5ca3dc9160552f992ffd4eb776) (https://imageshack.com/i/nh4irbj)
Poor guy.
I just gave floyd his. It's not working yet. He's hiding under the table. But the bind, brain-damaged, 3-legged pup. She's fine. lol. You just never know
All the people who don't like spending holidays alone, I wish I could say something to make it better. I was going to point out how much I always wish I could have a holiday alone so I could make it not a big deal, but the fact that someone needs me and is always around probably sounds like a weird thing to complain about.
But I'm not happy about this holiday. The kid doesn't do well with loud noises, I don't do well with adapting the rituals I grew up with to the food and social habits I live with now, and seeing strangers having fun everywhere is a little frustrating. And I have a cat. He's at least 12 and doesn't enjoy surprises. :laugh:
I'm often logged into world of warcraft whether or not I'm playing, and I'm currently a little weirded out by all the npc fireworks I'm hearing. I should probably spend more time on servers that share my timezone.
that makes sense felix.
the reality is holidays are just hard for a lot of people.
average and frustrated people...
haters gonnuh hate.
:D
My best friend and I are barely talking much these days...
Quote from: immortal gypsy on July 04, 2014, 06:38:02 PM
Friends and I have always said pictures or it never happened. It always made us so hard to blackmail.
I actually wanted to take a picture last time, but I couldn't reach my pants pocket, lol.
Quote from: Felix on July 04, 2014, 08:05:01 PM
All the people who don't like spending holidays alone, I wish I could say something to make it better. I was going to point out how much I always wish I could have a holiday alone so I could make it not a big deal, but the fact that someone needs me and is always around probably sounds like a weird thing to complain about.
But I'm not happy about this holiday. The kid doesn't do well with loud noises, I don't do well with adapting the rituals I grew up with to the food and social habits I live with now, and seeing strangers having fun everywhere is a little frustrating. And I have a cat. He's at least 12 and doesn't enjoy surprises. :laugh:
I'm often logged into world of warcraft whether or not I'm playing, and I'm currently a little weirded out by all the npc fireworks I'm hearing. I should probably spend more time on servers that share my timezone.
I'm not a big fan of this holiday either. Firecrackers used to terrify me. Plus, I personally just can't justify spending money to see it burn in the air. I can just do watch others do that, lol.
I think I'm staying home with the dog. I could go and hang with my friends and watch the fireworks but even if my dog stays calm, being home sounds better. I'm a boring guy.
I do kind of want to go next door and talk to the people cleaning up the house and tell them about the creepy ass fort and how it's a fire hazard and just.. creepy.
not going to do that either. I been doing waaaaay to much socializing for my introverted self.
Quote from: Shantel on July 04, 2014, 07:28:14 PM
Hang in there hon, been thinking of you!
things are fine now. Got power back a little bit ago. That last post of mine last night was from my phone, the power had gone out a little before that. I only had a few pieces of soffit get blown off, the roof and everything else was fine on mine. Glad I put the extra effort into doing it well when I rebuilt it. They said the highest clocked wind for us was 102 mph and the eye did go right over us.
We actually took the hour-plus each way trip to Toys R Us to get a pseudo-fireworks device that we'd seen in the past, but when we got there she said she didn't want it because it only works inside. They had cone-style fake fireworks that work outside but they didn't look anywhere near as cool. There were a couple other fake ones that looked neat, but they shot small objects into the air, and I just can't see that going well. Even the nearby parks are busy enough (and have enough trees/fences/buildings) that I don't think I want to shoot rockets that we would need to retrieve.
I'm not willing to go downtown, which is our usual place to view fireworks, and I don't want to go to vancouver, so I told my kid that I was not up for traffic and we would be walking around on foot after the sun sets. There's tons of fireworks visible within walking distance, and fewer cops or inebriated revelers than downtown. I think just walking and looking is the only way to celebrate without feeling unsafe. Her current habit of running away makes most parties and gatherings just look like deathtraps to me.
my hair is now officially 2 inches long xD covers the top end my ears when i brush it down. finally xD
I've been thinking a lot about killing myself... Imagining all the different ways I could do it... Sometimes I really don't know what's stopping me. Not much, I don't think. Sometimes I think the only reason I don't go through with it is because I don't live alone, and I don't want to put anyone through the trauma of finding my corpse. I'd feel bad about that. Too bad there isn't some way to completely disappear without a trace.
Please do not harm yourself
Pikachu - please take gentle care of yourself. I know suicide can seem like the only way out but things really can get better.
Quote from: Pikachu on July 05, 2014, 08:32:13 AM
I've been thinking a lot about killing myself... Imagining all the different ways I could do it... Sometimes I really don't know what's stopping me. Not much, I don't think. Sometimes I think the only reason I don't go through with it is because I don't live alone, and I don't want to put anyone through the trauma of finding my corpse. I'd feel bad about that. Too bad there isn't some way to completely disappear without a trace.
That's not an option, you are a gentle soul and will be sorely missed, and besides being an entirely too finale means of dealing with temporary problems it is the ultimate act of selfishness toward those who love you and count on you. Don't consider it any further, feel free to pm me anytime sweetie!
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 04, 2014, 09:44:32 PM
things are fine now. Got power back a little bit ago. That last post of mine last night was from my phone, the power had gone out a little before that. I only had a few pieces of soffit get blown off, the roof and everything else was fine on mine. Glad I put the extra effort into doing it well when I rebuilt it. They said the highest clocked wind for us was 102 mph and the eye did go right over us.
Good, glad you are safe! 102 mph is pretty intense. I recall a 100mph windstorm on the Washington coast several years ago, there were a lot of trees going through roofs.
that storm you remember, shantel, hit my neighborhood hard.
oh man, what did I come here to think.......hmmm....
oh! I am wondering if trans* people have a higher rate of abuse histories. And I'm not talking about those related to being trans but more coming from families that should not have been allowed to breed.
I wonder if people who grow up fat, and people who get fat later in life, are effected differently by their social experience of fatness.
I am also thinking that this cold totally blows.
Quote from: Pikachu on July 05, 2014, 08:32:13 AM
I've been thinking a lot about killing myself... Imagining all the different ways I could do it... Sometimes I really don't know what's stopping me. Not much, I don't think. Sometimes I think the only reason I don't go through with it is because I don't live alone, and I don't want to put anyone through the trauma of finding my corpse. I'd feel bad about that. Too bad there isn't some way to completely disappear without a trace.
I've had those thoughts before too. They were always very persistent and quite strong. But I decided to just keep fighting them off since I felt that was all I could do. I didn't want to hurt my family with having to deal with the aftermath. (Finding the body, reading the final words). I do live alone, but my mother calls me at least every other day, sometimes a couple times a day, just to say "hello", so I know that she would sense that something wasn't right. Then having one of my other family members being sent over to discover the horrible truth.
No way. I can't do that to them.
Also, I went through some very scary medical stuff in the last few years. I had one night when I literally saw my life flash before my eyes. It was like watching a home movie in your mind on fast forward. One thing I had always heard was this happens right before the end and I was totally freaked out. After going through a long, long period of worrying that I was never going to wake up if I did go to sleep. (Going two and three days with no sleep as a result of this), it changed my outlook on suicide forever.
I haven't considered it ever since that time. Not once. Even if I've had some really bad days. (Which are now very far and few between)
Quote from: birkin on July 05, 2014, 12:27:35 PM
I wonder if people who grow up fat, and people who get fat later in life, are effected differently by their social experience of fatness.
I am also thinking that this cold totally blows.
I dunno, but I do know being fat is an esteem killer. Others have less esteem for someone who is fat than they do those who are trim, and fat people also have less self esteem because of being too fat. I was always a chunkster and have battled it for years, I like to eat, have slow metabolism and am not big on exercise. That combination did me in between the age of 30 until my late 50's when I intentionally addressed it and turned it around. Family and friends would invariably make comments using the word "FAT" and even if it was like, "You are looking slimmer these days" what they really meant was you don't look like such a lard ass lately. :icon_peace:
What am I doing with my life? I often reflect on this with so much self disappointment. All the things I wanted to accomplish. All the things I wanted to overcome. All the things I wanted to experience. The life I wanted for myself. At 25, it all seems so much more far away and unlikely for things to change from my current course. Sometimes you come to realization that this is what life is and you just have to accept it. And the worst part is no matter how messed up my past was and no matter how many people hurt me or took advantage of me, there really is no one to blame other than myself. Sure, there were things and people that set me back, but it was inability to overcome things that lays everything all on me. When it's all said and done, the life I wanted doesn't exist because of me, not just cause of an unfortunate set of circumstances. And despite this realization, I don't see myself changing for the better. I'm just going to live in the moment as usual and wonder where my overall dreams and hopes went knowing all too well they died by my own hand and out of fear of change and the unknown. Sorry just had to get this out somewhere.
Quote from: Pikachu on July 05, 2014, 08:32:13 AM
I've been thinking a lot about killing myself... Imagining all the different ways I could do it... Sometimes I really don't know what's stopping me. Not much, I don't think. Sometimes I think the only reason I don't go through with it is because I don't live alone, and I don't want to put anyone through the trauma of finding my corpse. I'd feel bad about that. Too bad there isn't some way to completely disappear without a trace.
Hey, you know I'm always here when stuff gets bad. Search me out. Misery and depression sucks but it can be a little more tolerable when you have someone to talk to.
Hip bone reduction surgery would be fantastic if it was possible without the risk of making it impossible for you to ever walk again.
Quote from: learningtolive on July 05, 2014, 12:51:00 PM
What am I doing with my life? I often reflect on this with so much self disappointment. All the things I wanted to accomplish. All the things I wanted to overcome. All the things I wanted to experience. The life I wanted for myself. At 25, it all seems so much more far away and unlikely for things to change from my current course. Sometimes you come to realization that this is what life is and you just have to accept it. And the worst part is no matter how messed up my past was and no matter how many people hurt me or took advantage of me, there really is no one to blame other than myself. Sure, there were things and people that set me back, but it was inability to overcome things that lays everything all on me. When it's all said and done, the life I wanted doesn't exist because of me, not just cause of an unfortunate set of circumstances. And despite this realization, I don't see myself changing for the better. I'm just going to live in the moment as usual and wonder where my overall dreams and hopes went knowing all too well they died by my own hand and out of fear of change and the unknown. Sorry just had to get this out somewhere.
This is so much like what women becoming middle aged go through and also at the onset of menopause. Been there myself and after all you are on female HRT so welcome to women's world honey.
Quote from: christopher on July 05, 2014, 12:06:58 PM
oh! I am wondering if trans* people have a higher rate of abuse histories. And I'm not talking about those related to being trans but more coming from families that should not have been allowed to breed.
No. There's a high rate of abuse histories in general.
If those people never bred, I would not exist and many people I am fond of would not exist. I'm glad we do.
This is interesting. I was invited to a bbq and it was actually at my therapist's mother's house and my mother flipped when she found out my therapist was someone she knows. Small world indeed xD
This is the second time I had to put on the bunny rabbit suit for a birthday party. I had a lot of fun, but it was hot under there. I was sweating as if I was jogging, and even then I didn't really sweat when I would run. The kids loved it. They grabbed my hands and wanted me to dance with him and a few kids poked at my eyes. >.> The birthday kid wanted me to play with the ball with him. I could hardly see with that suit on, so I couldn't catch it half the time lol. Well, since Anime Expo is going on right now, why not dedicate the cosplay bunny to it. To cosplay!
Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 04:08:15 PM
This is the second time I had to put on the bunny rabbit suit for a birthday party. I had a lot of fun, but it was hot under there. I was sweating as if I was jogging, and even then I didn't really sweat when I would run. The kids loved it. They grabbed my hands and wanted me to dance with him and a few kids poked at my eyes. >.> The birthday kid wanted me to play with the ball with him. I could hardly see with that suit on, so I couldn't catch it half the time lol. Well, since Anime Expo is going on right now, why not dedicate the cosplay bunny to it. To cosplay!
You know, my mind went into the gutter when i saw bunny suit xD
Quote from: birkin on July 05, 2014, 12:27:35 PM
I am also thinking that this cold totally blows.
I'm on like day...6? I am officially fed up with it.
Quote from: Edge on July 05, 2014, 03:18:30 PM
No. There's a high rate of abuse histories in general.
If those people never bred, I would not exist and many people I am fond of would not exist. I'm glad we do.
that did not come out like I meant it to. I am glad you exist. I am becoming glad I exist.
I know there is a high rate of abuse but I do feel like I'm bumping into more of the seriously f'ckd up stuff here than I do in some other social groups.
I think we're just more open about it here since this is a support forum.
My 84 year old father said yesterday on a road trip said that he was pleased when I joined the military as when I was a 17 year old, I was too reserved and too much like my mother. I said that it did change me and that I would have been very different today if I hadn't made this decision. I said that it was my decision and I owned it.
However, it stopped me from telling him I was non binary ... The moment I had been seeking, was lost.
Aisla
the new lyrics i wrote are my best and angriest yet. maybe because i wrote about certain people i don't need in my life. Outsiders might call them passive-aggressive and mean-spirited, but this was an attempt to let off some steam.
Kind of surprised i can even write like that (moodwise) but that's how it is.
So I brought GTA Vice City for the PS2 and the poster of the beach babe that comes along with it has stains on her body. I'd like to think that they just coffee stains.
I'd like to think that....I really hope that's all it is.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 07:01:18 PM
So I brought GTA Vice City for the PS2 and the poster of the beach babe that comes along with it has stains on her body. I'd like to think that they just coffee stains.
I'd like to think that....I really hope that's all it is.
Vice City rules!
I will be so glad when this stupid poison ivy is cleared up. It's been really annoying.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 07:01:18 PM
So I brought GTA Vice City for the PS2 and the poster of the beach babe that comes along with it has stains on her body. I'd like to think that they just coffee stains.
I'd like to think that....I really hope that's all it is.
GTA VICE CITY! :laugh:
My ex-girlfriend just texted me out of the blue...
Vice City is the best GTA game made in my opinion. :)
I need to learn to relax and enjoy the present instead of worrying about the past and future.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 08:48:32 PM
Vice City is the best GTA game made in my opinion. :)
I concur. The scenery, main character and songs on the radio were the best.
mad at myself
I want to create an Official Evelyn's favorite gummy bear flavor thread! but not sure where.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 05, 2014, 08:55:59 PM
I concur. The scenery, main character and songs on the radio were the best.
The radio stations are what really tipped the scale for me.....that and Tommy Vercetti's Hawaiian shirt. I love Hawaiian shirts! :D
I wonder what Tony Hawk's stance is on gay marriage.
Worrying about coming out to my godmother, and trying to figure out how to say it to her so she will understand some of it.
Is there any program that can simulate the masculinization/feminization your face? I mean, it'd be cool if there was one just to see how you may look like.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 08:48:32 PM
Vice City is the best GTA game made in my opinion. :)
i think so too. it was my first too (as a child even!)
my best friend thinks i'm crazy, he can't stand Vice City, but i love it.
I can't get into San Andreas all that easily. I do love GTA V though.
I'm wondering if I should get some more sleep before I start cleaning for the day. Also, I am going to have to vacuum. My son will not be pleased, but at least I'll be able to shut the door.
Quote from: Aisla on July 05, 2014, 06:35:22 PM
My 84 year old father said yesterday on a road trip said that he was pleased when I joined the military as when I was a 17 year old, I was too reserved and too much like my mother. I said that it did change me and that I would have been very different today if I hadn't made this decision. I said that it was my decision and I owned it.
However, it stopped me from telling him I was non binary ... The moment I had been seeking, was lost.
Aisla
My dad passed away in 1993, he was 93 years old, it was a year before I started transition, and though I miss him, I'm glad that I didn't have to put him through it because he would have never understood.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 05, 2014, 11:19:33 PM
The radio stations are what really tipped the scale for me.....that and Tommy Vercetti's Hawaiian shirt. I love Hawaiian shirts! :D
I wonder what Tony Hawk's stance is on gay marriage.
Vice City Public Radio and Espantoso are my favorite radio stations.
I wonder what people think of my sexual orientation when they see me. I don't really care if anyone thinks I am gay, but I imagine that there are a few people I must confuse.
I mean, in some ways I act kind of "gay." Like today I saw the Burlesque DVD and just go "oh my God I have always wanted to see this" and the guy I was with just laughed awkwardly haha. I have a feminine way of speaking, but it sort of borderlines effeminate and nerdy. And I was wearing some really girly socks today. I know that not all gay guys are feminine, but that's a stereotype a lot of people still hold to when they want to know someone's orientation.
I always just laugh because I imagine someone assuming I am gay the whole time and then seeing me eyeball some girl's butt or something. And being like WHAAAT.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 06, 2014, 10:42:10 AM
Vice City Public Radio and Espantoso are my favorite radio stations.
I love VCPR and V-Rock. K-Chat was pretty funny too, especially with that lesbian feminist on there.
I'm thinking now that I have eaten from the majority of the places at the mall now, I will no longer have to "suffer" by watching others eat there. Yeah, it may have cost me some money I could have been saving towards my top surgery or ebay purchases, but in a way, it was kind of worth it since I am not as curious about the places so I won't be as irritated. I think I did relatively well considering that I've only spend $19.33 in total. That's under $20. Some people pay that for one meal. I'm good now.....unless I want to eat at Chick-Fila. I might buy a soda there in the future since they give refils, but it's not on my top priority. Their food is good, but it's too expensive and they don't give you much. In other words, I'm good.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 07, 2014, 06:24:10 PM
I love VCPR and V-Rock. K-Chat was pretty funny too, especially with that lesbian feminist on there.
I'm thinking now that I have eaten from the majority of the places at the mall now, I will no longer have to "suffer" by watching others eat there. Yeah, it may have cost me some money I could have been saving towards my top surgery or ebay purchases, but in a way, it was kind of worth it since I am not as curious about the places so I won't be as irritated. I think I did relatively well considering that I've only spend $19.33 in total. That's under $20. Some people pay that for one meal. I'm good now.....unless I want to eat at Chick-Fila. I might buy a soda there in the future since they give refils, but it's not on my top priority. Their food is good, but it's too expensive and they don't give you much. In other words, I'm good.
How many restaurants did you hit up for $19.33? And what kind of stuff did you buy? It sounds like you got some good deals.
Quote from: birkin on July 07, 2014, 06:27:05 PM
How many restaurants did you hit up for $19.33? And what kind of stuff did you buy? It sounds like you got some good deals.
Well a couple of those were desserts from a cookie place, but the break down is as follows:
1. Red Velvet brownie- $2.91
2. Philly cheesesteak with fries- $5.35 at a Mexican place (It was $5.50, but I get a mall employee discount)
3. A cookie- $1.72
4. Japanese food- $3.78 for 2 meats, rice and an egg roll (originally about $5 or $6 but it's lowered to $3.50 plus tax at the end of the day. Because I work at the mall, the guy said he will give me future discounts for $3.99, which isn't bad).
5. Chinese food- $5.78 for rice, a meat, and an egg roll
Actually, the only reason I got the cookie and the Chinese food was because I had to make 10 purchases to avoid a monthly service fee at my bank and those two helped me meet my goal.
That's not bad at all! The Japanese and Chinese food sounds particularly good.
Quote from: birkin on July 07, 2014, 07:11:04 PM
That's not bad at all! The Japanese and Chinese food sounds particularly good.
Lol it does seem like that from away. They aren't nasty, but I didn't prefer the food too much. It's probably the particular dishes I got as they were a bit too sweet. The Japanese rice was good. The Chinese rice actually kept me full for about a day and a half so from that standpoint, it was worth the money. It's not too bad for mall food. I prefer the Mexican place though so if I ever feel like getting lunch, I'm going to get it from there now more than likely.
Need to check the racing calendar see if I can get away from the city for a day or two.
"All work and no play makes gypsy want to swing something large and heavy at someone"
I want a Foxhound Keychain Bag Clip from Metal Gear Solid, and one of the places on Ebay sells them for $7.45. That's the cheapest price for it on Ebay, but I'm going to wait until they have a sale to see if I can get it for under $6. That thing would look awesome of my backpack, like I was in the Special Forces in Metal Gear Solid.
I got a really disturbing thought just now. =/ My mom bought me highlighters at the store because I mentioned needing some for my work, and I was so happy and grateful! But then as I was highlighting, I thought "...yellow ones aren't that great, it would have been better if they were blue."
Then I started thinking that it was an ungrateful thought to have. Then I thought, what if I had a condition where I was unable to keep my thoughts to myself? And I actually expressed that thought to my mom and hurt her feelings?
Must have chocolate NOW... Gahhhh!!!
Comme on dit en Francais, je drool...
I'm thinking I don't know if I want to talk or not.
also, what the heck? when did she unjoin? now I feel even worse about not replying. ack.
Arghhh. There's this one part of my thesis that I am just so STUCK on, and have been for months. I can't keep putting it off because it's kind of important but my brain just refuses.
I've suddenly become ...desirable. To both men and women. It's really scary.
Where the hell is everybody?
I hate Reno!
Hey, what the hell are you lookin' at?!
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on July 08, 2014, 12:33:01 AM
Where the hell is everybody?
I hate Reno!
Hey, what the hell are you lookin' at?!
You and me both. That's why I only frequent Las Vegas.
Quote from: Jill F on July 08, 2014, 01:01:33 AM
You and me both. That's why I only frequent Las Vegas.
:D
Actually, I was just quoting this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl08tee-FaQ
I've actually never been west of Kansas.
I'm thinking about all the cleaning I have to do today.
ok. today I get back on track. slips happen. I don't have to make a big deal out of this.
Thinking about how slow moving I have been. :/ I decided that to keep working on my anxiety I would do things deliberately slow, since when I get anxious I feel pressured to rush rush rush. And it's actually hard to slow down even with the simplest tasks like getting dressed. When I get in the right state of kind slowing down is helpful, but when I am not it makes my brain panic lol.
My first Callen-Lorde appointment is this Friday. HRT is so close I can almost reach out and grab it.
Well, I file my name change papers in about 30 minutes, chosen Marianna, my mother's mother's first name, as my middle name. At least keeping some of me Italian ;)
Then the confusion of having to get the legal gender change and new birth certificate from Kern County in California.
Also, Amazon has a good deal for the Venue 8 Pro. For $240, I could get one, a 64GB micro SD card, the digitizer stylus, and a micro USB to USB adaptor. Not sure if I should or not...
I also need to call the laser place down in Petoskey to see if I can get a consultation for the 15th, since I already have an appointment down there for that day, I'm just going to take the whole day off since it's a good 60-90 minute drive away.
Thinking about the bits and pieces that I have read here about people that detransition. Honestly, I think that would take more guts than transitioning. I seriously doubt that I could go on if I had to do that.
Quote from: Lauren5 on July 08, 2014, 02:21:18 PM
Well, I file my name change papers in about 30 minutes, chosen Marianna, my mother's mother's first name, as my middle name. At least keeping some of me Italian ;)
Then the confusion of having to get the legal gender change and new birth certificate from Kern County in California.
Also, Amazon has a good deal for the Venue 8 Pro. For $240, I could get one, a 64GB micro SD card, the digitizer stylus, and a micro USB to USB adaptor. Not sure if I should or not...
I also need to call the laser place down in Petoskey to see if I can get a consultation for the 15th, since I already have an appointment down there for that day, I'm just going to take the whole day off since it's a good 60-90 minute drive away.
So glad you have the ball rolling on that, Lauren! ;D One step closer.
Though, thanks to OITNB all I can think of when I read about Italians these days is Watson randomly going "Italians have weird s* with their mothers" hahaha.
I froze a bottle of water for a couple of hours, and the walls inside are frozen, but there is water in the middle. That is freaking cool! It's like a water holder made of ice!
Got 100s on all my discussions for last week... I was freaking out about school. I needed that.
Quote from: sad panda on July 09, 2014, 12:05:50 AM
Got 100s on all my discussions for last week... I was freaking out about school. I needed that.
panda, imma bite you xD >:-) hahaha!
Quote from: sad panda on July 09, 2014, 12:27:29 AM
*bites u first* :3 beeeeeeew
nu! i bite you first :p
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on July 09, 2014, 12:35:40 AM
nu! i bite you first :p
You went back in time to bite me first???? :D
Okay, I'll letcha have it. *exposes neck*
Quote from: sad panda on July 09, 2014, 12:46:59 AM
You went back in time to bite me first???? :D
Okay, I'll letcha have it. *exposes neck*
*bites your nose* tehehehe *giggles* :laugh:
Quote from: sad panda on July 09, 2014, 01:14:36 AM
Ah well it was big anyway... ;O;
well tell me if you become sensitive to the sun x that means your turning into a vampire ;D
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on July 09, 2014, 01:27:27 AM
well tell me if you become sensitive to the sun x that means your turning into a vampire ;D
Babe I was sensitive to the sun from the day I was born!
that is why I can't get a tan.... :|
*vmaps at everyone* mwahahah
Quote from: sad panda on July 09, 2014, 01:58:15 AM
Babe I was sensitive to the sun from the day I was born!
that is why I can't get a tan.... :|
*vmaps at everyone* mwahahah
I just get a major sun burn hahahaha! Sunlight gives me a migraine xD
I'm a bit worried. So I finally have the money for FFS, but if I have it done, there won't be a lot more. Between buying the aparment and redoing my face, I will finally say goodbye to six years of savings, effectively ending with a near empty bank account. I may be left unemployed with just 3.000€ left of savings, so I should be able to cover for special expenses such a travelling to have a job interview, or buy a suit, but if serious ->-bleeped-<- happens, I don't know how to pay for extra expenses such as home repairs, going to the dentist or repairing the computer. I am even backing down from buying a new smartphone, to keep the maximum ammount of money. I'm scared thinking about how many months I will remain unemployed.
New therapist in an hourish. Ugh, I hope this one is decent. She was the only DBT T in my entire area. :(
Quote from: sad panda on July 09, 2014, 01:41:22 PM
New therapist in an hourish. Ugh, I hope this one is decent. She was the only DBT T in my entire area. :(
i thought you had to be in the DBT program to get one of those o: when i was in DBT, it was required i had one. you know something, she was around my age and if it wasnt for my shyness and the whole therapy thing, i would of gone for it o: yea, i should slap myself for ever letting that thought come into my head :l
I think my antidepressants are working. I'm in such a good mood. Went to workout, did some errands in the city, bought some new clothes including two really oversized T-shirts though I hope they will shrink so I can look decent in them once I laundry them (if not, oh well... they weren't too expensive) and I just came back from eating dinner and doing the dishes that's been piling up for weeks since my breakdown. If this is how normal stable people feel like I want more of it. Even the idea of going to work makes me happy lol, though I am not working until Friday.
Court date set for the 4th, because even if I get the notice in today, it won't be published until next sunday.
Had to drive my dad's stick to the courthouse and to work; I don't like driving stick, but I'll do it if I have to. It causes me stress and frustration when I stall it trying to go from neutral to first. Other than that, I don't mind it.
Met someone who I had an awful lot in common with today. It was kind of weird actually, I didn't really think guys like that existed.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on July 09, 2014, 01:57:19 PM
i thought you had to be in the DBT program to get one of those o: when i was in DBT, it was required i had one. you know something, she was around my age and if it wasnt for my shyness and the whole therapy thing, i would of gone for it o: yea, i should slap myself for ever letting that thought come into my head :l
mmm well DBT is just a set of skills! maybe it was a local program :O u can see any therapist really. Anyway this new one is nice. I worry about new therapists cuz in the past I've had the reverse problem of therapists going for ME. :( a lot of people do get weird feelings for their therapist tho, it's called transference.
Quote from: sad panda on July 09, 2014, 05:22:58 PM
mmm well DBT is just a set of skills! maybe it was a local program :O u can see any therapist really. Anyway this new one is nice. I worry about new therapists cuz in the past I've had the reverse problem of therapists going for ME. :( a lot of people do get weird feelings for their therapist tho, it's called transference.
ah well thats why i usually go for the older therapist. i'm less likely to get those feelings lol
my hooves are sore today.
Quote from: Shantel on July 09, 2014, 06:28:56 PM
Been on your hooves too long?
Yep, been busy lately. Got the next two days off, but I still am having to go in the morning for a little bit because we aren't sure someone is going to come in as they didn't today and never called either which is a bit out of character for her, so not sure what is going on. So I'm going to go in and do paperwork so that the manager can cook the biscuits and stuff.
on the plus side, the new sub thing seems to be selling well. Just have a lot to do with getting the minions to keep track of what they use so that we have a clue as to what we need to order to keep going. Our walk in freezer is slam full, so have to keep things close.
I'm grumpy right now. grrr
And feeling guilty that I'm not giving the dogs enough attention lately. this week it feels like I haven't been home much. And normally I take the motley mutt to therapy with me but today I'm too grumpy and the air conditioner doesn't work and I'm not thrilled about having him in the hot car
almost 1 day left until my appointment plus the new narut episode comes out tomorrow :laugh:
I've never seen Frozen before. I just got home to my mom, dad, sister, grandpa, and grandma watching it, dring some really really really kiddish (like 3 year old) and cheesy musical scene.
Now I never want to watch the full thing. Lauren 1, Frozen 0. I've let you go (the only thing I know about the movie because of it being so overplayed) without even picking you up. Win.
The scroll button on my mouse is broken. I swear, building this PC last year has had the consequence of computer part dominoes...everything is going around the same time. The keyboard works but the S key is wearing out from use, the mouse is wearing out and doesn't scroll well, and...ugh...what was the other thing.
Diamonds on my fish. D-diamonds on my fish. We got diamonds on da fish!!
I'm thinking 'how the heck do I upload a profile picture?!'
aha
I just joined today, anyone mind helping me? ^ ^
Quote from: kitty on July 09, 2014, 11:39:48 PM
I'm thinking 'how the heck do I upload a profile picture?!'
aha
I just joined today, anyone mind helping me? ^ ^
You need to reach 15 posts to be able to do that.
It's like Double Dragon, yo.
Thank god I don't have eggs that will expire. They'd be passed expiration by now.
I want to make this tomorrow...
http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/stir-fried-rice-pot-95152.aspx
Sometimes I'm reminded of the fact I'm truly crazy. I don't like that so much.
Quote from: Lauren5 on July 09, 2014, 09:19:57 PM
I've never seen Frozen before. I just got home to my mom, dad, sister, grandpa, and grandma watching it, dring some really really really kiddish (like 3 year old) and cheesy musical scene.
Now I never want to watch the full thing. Lauren 1, Frozen 0. I've let you go (the only thing I know about the movie because of it being so overplayed) without even picking you up. Win.
Do you wanna build a snowman? That was so sad. :(
I clicked on the Yahoo home page and I saw the headline for this article.
https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/j--crew-criticized-for-introducing--absurd--size-000-172927838.html
J.Crew defends controversial new size.
This was the line to click on to get to the article from Yahoo's page. I thought to myself: "What are they going to do now? Create a size triple zero?" I almost fell off my chair once I clicked the link.
How friggin' ridiculous is THIS?! Size TRIPLE zero?! What the hell is wrong with people? Size zero looks absurd enough as it is.
Sheesh!
I'm am thinking a lot of things.
I feel bad for wondering about this, but there's someone I met today and I, for some reason I cannot explain, have a very strong feeling that he is a trans man. He's very clearly male, he has a full beard and a very male body and whatnot. He doesn't exhibit any "stereotypical trans man" traits (not that I really think there are any, but there are a few things that make people jump to assumptions sometimes). So why do I get this really strong gut feeling that he's FTM?
I feel bad for it because if someone looked at me and had a "hunch" I was FTM, even if they thought I was clearly male...I'd be absolutely crushed and furious that they made assumptions about me based on...whatever.
The thing is I don't even know why I think he is trans. I have no logical basis for it whatsoever, it's purely an intuition type of feeling. =/
Quote from: birkin on July 10, 2014, 07:55:00 PM
I feel bad for wondering about this, but there's someone I met today and I, for some reason I cannot explain, have a very strong feeling that he is a trans man. He's very clearly male, he has a full beard and a very male body and whatnot. He doesn't exhibit any "stereotypical trans man" traits (not that I really think there are any, but there are a few things that make people jump to assumptions sometimes). So why do I get this really strong gut feeling that he's FTM?
I feel bad for it because if someone looked at me and had a "hunch" I was FTM, even if they thought I was clearly male...I'd be absolutely crushed and furious that they made assumptions about me based on...whatever.
The thing is I don't even know why I think he is trans. I have no logical basis for it whatsoever, it's purely an intuition type of feeling. =/
Then stop it Caleb!
Oooh, just had an encounter that while pleasant, brought up some ugly feelings I have inside and I'm just not in the mood.
Quote from: Shantel on July 10, 2014, 08:21:47 PM
Then stop it Caleb!
Oh and yes, I am trying lol. I'm seeing him this weekend and I'm going to not think about it because it isn't fair to him.
Talked it over with friends, they suggest I try to get a concealed carry permit when I can afford it, just to be safe.
The issue; in Michigan, you have to be 21 to get a permit, and have to have a permit to buy a handgun.
Well, guess I don't have to then.
With the threat and all, I'd rather be safe and be prepared and it end up be an empty threat, than ignore it and end up with my head full of buckshot. Since the primary threat is from range, hand to hand combat, tasers, etc. are not terribly useful.
I think I'm going to take a break from here, lay low. Don't think anyone threatening me knows anything about an IP address, but still...
Just wanted everyone to know how it's going with me.
I wanna cut my fat face
i should head to bed. big day tomorrow plus my pill is working super fast xD guess it finally got with the program ;D night all. tty tomorrow night xD
need to practise the art of Realpolatik again and fast. I thought I had a few more weeks
Something that was said at the other store by someone makes me wonder just what people are yapping about me. Today is one of those many days that I just really, really hate being what I am.
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 11, 2014, 09:27:37 AM
Something that was said at the other store by someone makes me wonder just what people are yapping about me. Today is one of those many days that I just really, really hate being what I am.
Don't, you are a kind hearted, sweet person and frankly from what I've seen you come in an attractive wrapper so there is nothing that you should hate about being you. You should redirect your feelings toward the yappers and let it manifest itself as pity for them and perhaps their selfish ignorance will be exposed to the others who do care for you.
Everything is happening so fast, my next appointment is October 8th and I can take T then. I'm still scared.
Gosh work was so busy because of Chick Fila Appreciation day. Ironic that yesterday I had no one, and today I broke a new record with my customers.
I am grumpy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I officially have housing at school for next year! I got my hands on a single. I don't have to deal with a roommate this year :)
I miss Calder.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 12, 2014, 12:04:14 AM
I miss Calder.
I miss a lot of people who used to be around here...
Quote from: christopher on July 11, 2014, 08:19:49 PM
I am grumpy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Grumpy, Dopey is sitting on my bed right now (I hope) and I curl up with him every night to sleep. So where are the other five dwarves?
Ughhhh. I am so tired. These 5 hour sleeps are not enough but there is literally no more time for me to sleep.
I wish I could ditch someone I don't really like to hang out with someone I really like.
I am a horrible person and a hypocrite.
Watching Xanadu on tv and then I was thinking, wow, I remember when that was in the theater and then I looked at the info on it and what year it came out and now I feel old again.
Shupid boobs there sore (growing pains please :)). All a sports bra does right now is relive the pain, but I know my mother won't like it and if I wear on it will be noticeable. Think it's time to swing that baseball bat of reality at her :icon_bat:. Today will be fun.
About leaving this forum. It's been real, guys.
Quote from: Pikachu on July 12, 2014, 12:57:25 AM
I miss a lot of people who used to be around here...
Me too :( It makes me sad.
I'm daydreaming about being an amazing MMA fighter with amazing knockout power, and UFC playing a reel of all of my knockouts with some awesome music. I'm knocking guys out with my right hand and my legs. I'm also throwing some wins by some ground and pounds.
I've seen many people come and go around here. It's just the nature of forums.
and then there are ones that come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, etc, etc.....
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 12, 2014, 07:16:19 PM
and then there are ones that come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, come and go, etc, etc.....
Do we know anyone like that yoyo girl? :icon_ballbounce: :icon_ballbounce2:
Quote from: Shantel on July 12, 2014, 07:18:46 PM
Do we know anyone like that yoyo girl? :icon_ballbounce: :icon_ballbounce2:
I don't really recall...
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 12, 2014, 07:20:21 PM
I don't really recall...
Hmmmmm maybe a little early onset dementia or selective memory?
Quote from: Shantel on July 12, 2014, 07:23:22 PM
Hmmmmm maybe a little early onset dementia or selective memory?
Hard to say, I did approve a friend request from a supervisor today on fb, so probably leaning towards dementia.
Quote from: Shantel on July 12, 2014, 07:18:46 PM
Do we know anyone like that yoyo girl?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FRandom%2520Pics%2520n%2520Stuff%2FGet%2520Along%2520Gang%2520Screenshots%2FPortiaWithYoYo.png&hash=9e3b2ba78cf1e530c9bb1230504b92cf023764e7)
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 12, 2014, 07:30:01 PM
Hard to say, I did approve a friend request from a supervisor today on fb, so probably leaning towards dementia.
Musta had a hard day at work, want me to come over and massage your feet doll baby? ;D
Maybe he likes you! hehehe...
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on July 12, 2014, 07:32:42 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FRandom%2520Pics%2520n%2520Stuff%2FGet%2520Along%2520Gang%2520Screenshots%2FPortiaWithYoYo.png&hash=9e3b2ba78cf1e530c9bb1230504b92cf023764e7)
I might have known Portia would have a yoyo. ;D
Quote from: immortal gypsy on July 12, 2014, 04:29:10 AM
Hi Grumpy, Dopey is sitting on my bed right now (I hope) and I curl up with him every night to sleep. So where are the other five dwarves?
I have multiple personalities. I'm also dopey. don't know where the rest of them are.
Quote from: Shantel on July 12, 2014, 07:36:05 PM
Musta had a hard day at work, want me to come over and massage your feet doll baby? ;D
Maybe he likes you! hehehe...
She doesn't like me that way...
And I'm about to go to bed, its way past 8 o'clock.
Quote from: the old gray mare on July 12, 2014, 07:42:47 PM
She doesn't like me that way...
And I'm about to go to bed, its way past 8 o'clock.
Oh she....Btw did you ever get that gal to move in and share expenses? I thought that was a great idea...
Good to hear from you Liam, been wondering where you'd gone
Hoping all is well
Hugs
I remember you, Liam.
A ton of forum posts are just, gone? Like an entire days worth from all the threads. Because I remember posting that I remember Liam and now the thread is back to there.
Quote from: birkin on July 14, 2014, 04:45:36 PM
A ton of forum posts are just, gone? Like an entire days worth from all the threads. Because I remember posting that I remember Liam and now the thread is back to there.
This will explain it:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,169194.0.html
Quote from: Liam Erik on July 12, 2014, 11:09:56 PM
Hello folks
8)
Remember me? (I used to have 2000 posts 'til I went on hiatus.) Hope everybody's all right. I've been doing okay. I discovered a weird new zone in the road to becoming a functional human, which is that I have absolutely no idea how to be one. I have stepped boldly forth toward freedom, and wandered back again because what the heck am I looking at?
On the other hand, I have discovered that happiness is a real thing. And that mine (a revolutionary concept indeed) requires three essential elements: There shall be no significant levels either of dysphoria or of post-traumatic stress bs, and the livestock shall be fed and happy. It is a groundbreaking recipe which I shall endeavor to make use of.
It so happens that the critters are on green grass, and I am, eh, I'm okay. :P
I remember ewe. I had wondered what happened.
Quote from: Sephirah on July 14, 2014, 04:47:12 PM
This will explain it:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,169194.0.html
Thanks :)
I'm wondering if I should continue growing my hair out even though it looks girly unless I straighten it and I'm afraid straightening it too often will fry it.
Or if I should cut it. If I do cut it though, I want it to look like this, but I don't know how to make it do that:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-T0HE0DrB5Pw/TjDSQNeGkiI/AAAAAAAACEY/aqWRzJBL8O4/s1600/SidViciousspikyhair.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-T0HE0DrB5Pw/TjDSQNeGkiI/AAAAAAAACEY/aqWRzJBL8O4/s1600/SidViciousspikyhair.jpg)
Of course, I'll probably look female no matter what I do. #@*$%!
it's so weird to be paying attention to my body in a positive way. changes are really happening now. I like it (duh) but it's also just fascinating. I don't ever remember feeling like that. like my body was something fun and interesting... and saying that maybe something sort of twitch inside. like saying that is sort of scary.
between the abuse and being stuck as female, my body always felt like the enemy or something dangerous.
The positive impact that folk, who you may never speak with or share mail with, can have on your life. Just reading their posts. Experiencing their concern. Benefiting from their advice. When they are gone and you have not taken the time to acknowledge just how important that they are to you - leaves you empty and railing at your loss and your ingratitude.
My mustache looks like Justin Bieber's. This is a very, very tragic occurrence. Hopefully temporary.
I'm also so happy that things are starting to come together. I was almost losing my s* at the end of May...things managed to almost entirely turn around within 1 month, and the rest is quickly following suit over the summer.
Jobs. Jobs. And more jobs. It's like I'll never find something.
Ok, I caved in and got a Tuxedo body pillow because I finally found one for $45.95. The ones I had seen beforehand were like $59.99. I soooo wasn't going to buy one for that price. It's funny what a difference of around $15 will make. I'm not tripping too much because I worked late today and I'm working late tomorrow so the money I make then will cover the price. When I get him, I probably won't even take him out of the plastic. I'll just sleep on him with the plastic on. I didn't actually plan on getting one so soon. When I saw the price, I put it on my watch list. It was stated that there were limited qualities available. I figured when it would get down to the last one, THEN I'd make a decision. I thought it was going to be a while before that happened, but no, when I get home from work and got on Ebay, I found out that 1 was sold in the last hour and that there was only one left, so I made a decision a few minutes late to get it while I was watching an unboxing review of one. I could have gotten on on circle red, but it would have been about the same with shipping so I just got it on Ebay with the free shipping to make me feel better about myself, lol. Anyways, I can't wait for it to arrive! I've been wanting a body pillow for the longest. I need something to cuddle with.
Free gender therapist? Does it exist? I think I need to speak to someone about my feelings. I can't really afford therapy.
Quote from: Ephemeral on July 16, 2014, 11:08:06 AM
Free gender therapist? Does it exist? I think I need to speak to someone about my feelings. I can't really afford therapy.
There are some gender therapy groups that will work on a sliding scale based on your limited income or inability to pay due to excessive bills. You should call around and see, it's based on "Ask and you will receive" the converse of that is also true so don't be afraid to ask.
Quote from: Shantel on July 16, 2014, 12:20:28 PM
There are some gender therapy groups that will work on a sliding scale based on your limited income or inability to pay due to excessive bills. You should call around and see, it's based on "Ask and you will receive" the converse of that is also true so don't be afraid to ask.
Where is that?
Quote from: Ephemeral on July 16, 2014, 12:52:11 PM
Where is that?
Seattle. But wherever you live there may be some GLBTI or transgender group meetings that take place, contact them and ask around, they will have all the information on what's available locally.
Quote from: Shantel on July 16, 2014, 02:05:30 PM
Seattle. But wherever you live there may be some GLBTI or transgender group meetings that take place, contact them and ask around, they will have all the information on what's available locally.
Believe me, we don't have that here locally. The problem is that trans people aren't treated with therapy here, but we have a system similar to the one in the UK.
Quote from: Ephemeral on July 16, 2014, 03:14:19 PM
Believe me, we don't have that here locally. The problem is that trans people aren't treated with therapy here, but we have a system similar to the one in the UK.
Oh I understand. Wishing the best for you dear! Meanwhile your affiliation here can be very therapeutic in a sense, don't be afraid to ask questions from your forum group. Life here can be like being on a ladder, each one can reach down and help someone else up to the next rung. It's something some of us do here because we are all in it together regardless of gender issues.
Quote from: Shantel on July 16, 2014, 03:31:30 PM
Oh I understand. Wishing the best for you dear! Meanwhile your affiliation here can be very therapeutic in a sense, don't be afraid to ask questions from your forum group. Life here can be like being on a ladder, each one can reach down and help someone else up to the next rung. It's something some of us do here because we are all in it together regardless of gender issues.
I was hoping that there might be someone offering counseling internationally for free or very low of charge. I do think I need to speak to a therapist though.
Quote from: Ephemeral on July 16, 2014, 04:04:23 PM
I was hoping that there might be someone offering counseling internationally for free or very low of charge. I do think I need to speak to a therapist though.
There is a well known gender therapist that can do online sessions, I don't remember her name, ask Malachite, I think he's been talking to her.
Christina Aguilera in the "My Body" video...Jesus. It's the hottest I have ever seen her, I can't even handle that vid.
I take my CDL written test in the morning. Wish me luck.
good luck Rainbow Brite
I am thinking... I need to stop feeling like I can't be happy if other people are having hard times.
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on July 16, 2014, 10:32:28 PM
I take my CDL written test in the morning. Wish me luck.
Good luck, it is in sections if it is anything like here.
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on July 16, 2014, 10:32:28 PM
I take my CDL written test in the morning. Wish me luck.
Good luck, Dotty.
:D
(100 points if you get the reference.)
Why in the HELL did I agree to an 815 AM therapy session for tomorrow......ugh!
I hate to drive, but I'd be more willing to do that once I have paid for top surgery so that way I won't need to worry about that and the extra expenses it comes with maintaining a car.
I think I'm going to buy a hair removal laser, mount it in a satellite and rule the world! Ahhhahahaaaaa!
Work for the next...4 days... -_- Gah I am tired, and I won't even see any money til the end of the month.
I passed with ease! I now have my CDL learners permit. ^_^
I got my Tuxedo Mask body pillow! Yay!!!!!! That man is sexy!
Quote from: King Malachite on July 18, 2014, 08:43:54 AM
I got my Tuxedo Mask body pillow! Yay!!!!!! That man is sexy!
Lol your future wife is going to get jealous!
I hope my motley mutt is just having allergy issues and isn't sick. he was worrying me last night
Quote from: birkin on July 18, 2014, 08:45:35 AM
Lol your future wife is going to get jealous!
Haha, you would think I'd toss it to the side by the time I'd get married, but he might still be my sleeping buddy then. It's going to be the three of us. :D
Oh well, at least it will be the kind of threesome she likes! :o lmao
Guess what I'm doing today? Work. -_- it sucks to only get paid once a month. Both jobs at the end of the month...just saps your motivation. No dopamine from seeing the account to up lol.
The weekend awaits and my flu has gone. Excellent!
Quote from: Aisla on July 18, 2014, 08:58:56 AM
The weekend awaits and my flu has gone. Excellent!
Congrats! :eusa_clap:
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on July 17, 2014, 10:36:23 PM
I passed with ease! I now have my CDL learners permit. ^_^
Congratulations!
Need to impress the manager at my friend's workplace and land that job. Time for a shower!
Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 18, 2014, 11:00:57 AM
Need to impress the manager at my friend's workplace and land that job. Time for a shower!
Good luck!
How my family views me. I'm a failure.
Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 19, 2014, 10:40:39 AM
How my family views me. I'm a failure.
I know how you feel. I'm the "failure" of my family too.
Quote from: King Malachite on July 19, 2014, 04:54:14 PM
I know how you feel. I'm the "failure" of my family too.
That's so unfair to you both, you can chose your friends but you can't choose your family and sometimes that sucks!
Quote from: Shantel on July 19, 2014, 05:22:06 PM
That's so unfair to you both, you can chose your friends but you can't choose your family and sometimes that sucks!
Ain't that the truth.....
Disclaimer: possible TMI
It's so hot I want to start going commando all the time. Problem is, I'm really afraid my fly will pop open and reveal my (lack of) genital situation.
Quote from: birkin on July 19, 2014, 06:59:20 PM
Disclaimer: possible TMI
It's so hot I want to start going commando all the time. Problem is, I'm really afraid my fly will pop open and reveal my (lack of) genital situation.
You can have mine if I can find it hon, not much to write home about though! :D ;D :laugh:
Bahaha, just imagine...a 70 year old lady weenie on a 25 year old man :P
Quote from: birkin on July 19, 2014, 07:06:23 PM
Bahaha, just imagine...a 70 year old lady weenie on a 25 year old man :P
Hey, hey, stop that, with a little T it still works, ask my SO. :icon_ballbounce:
We have two trans women who are long term members at this sight who have potentially life threatening health problems, Calico is one that many people aren't aware of probably because the title of her post is "Today" in the general conversation forum isn't very attention grabbing. She is in a hospital in Tulsa with degenerative spine disease, she's only 34 years old. At 2PM today she crashed and quit breathing they were able to revive her, take a few minutes and send her a little TLC.
thanks for sharing shantel. that's awful.
I'm trying to decide if I should spend too much money and get a pizza delivered
Quote from: King Malachite on July 19, 2014, 04:54:14 PM
I know how you feel. I'm the "failure" of my family too.
*gives you a hug*
Quote from: Shantel on July 19, 2014, 05:22:06 PM
That's so unfair to you both, you can chose your friends but you can't choose your family and sometimes that sucks!
Yeah, my parents are really hounding me on finding a job that's NOT fast food even though I have no applicable work experience of any kind other than volunteering at a nursing home.
Quote from: birkin on July 19, 2014, 06:59:20 PM
Disclaimer: possible TMI
It's so hot I want to start going commando all the time. Problem is, I'm really afraid my fly will pop open and reveal my (lack of) genital situation.
I'm sure I've felt like that a while back.
I'll condemn the person who invented PS3 trophies to the lowest pits of the infernal afterlife while also thanking them for giving me yet another thing to collect.
In other words, trophy hunting in Beyond: Two Souls. 59% achieved. >3>
I think I have found a solution. Put a cheap little key ring around the zipper, then wrapped that around the pants button. I don't think it's too noticeable and it means I can feel...not like I peed myself from sweat. -_- God I hate summer.
It's my mothers birthday this coming week, it's a big one her 6oth. I've been racking my brain trying to think of something to get her. It's like the perfect gift to give would be the one of a normal child. Of course I'm not a child but I wish I was "perfect"like my sister. I've made her life a living hell from age 8 on from the whole gender thing to almost dying twice before I was 20. The one thing I'm grateful for is that we are closer now than ever before. Idk
Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 19, 2014, 07:55:05 PM
*gives you a hug*
Yeah, my parents are really hounding me on finding a job that's NOT fast food even though I have no applicable work experience of any kind other than volunteering at a nursing home.
I'm sure I've felt like that a while back.
-hugs- The way I see it....a job is a job, and if you can land fast food, then no shame in that.
I am thinking that we should all treat each day that we have remaining on this earth as priceless gifts that are never to be squandered.
I am pleased with how fast my beard grows. Not pleased with how I have nice, thick stubble everywhere and then just a naked mustache. It feels asymmetrical.
I am writing a letter to someone I hurt in the past because I feel like I owe her an explanation and it's been weighing on my conscience.
Quote from: Jill F on July 20, 2014, 01:23:11 AM
I am thinking that we should all treat each day that we have remaining on this earth as priceless gifts that are never to be squandered.
I think you're right, I'm going fishing!
Quote from: Shantel on July 20, 2014, 02:04:37 PM
I think you're right, I'm going fishing!
Hope you catch a lovely dinner! I enjoy fishing too. OK, I totally suck at it, but it's always a great excuse to drink beer on boats.
Next time I go fishing, I'm bringing a sharp knife, cutting board, wasabi, soy sauce, chop sticks and Kirin.
I'm thinking I've must of lost my voice or become invisible. Out for lunch yesterday and a friend orders for me before I can even open my mouth. Hello I'm over here I'm the one waving the two big flags
Some reason I never need a hook to go fishing. The bottle bass stay where I put them making them easy to catch.
I'm playing with concepts in my head so I'm thinking about what gender and gender identity would mean in a world where it's possible for a single person to simultaneously exist in multiple totally customisable bodies at once and what they would mean for multiple individuals simultaneously existing in a single body. I expect I'm just going to confuse myself. :laugh:
A lot of stuff has gone down today lol.
I wish I could shake this bad mood.
my laptop charger died so i got another one on ebay . i hope it comes asap because typing on a ps3 gets annoying
Have the day off after getting back yesterday from an long work trip which went well in Manila.
After being there for a month I realise now that someone will have to go over again, this time for 3 to 6 months to oversee the change which is not what is currently planned, they only think 2 weeks is required. Little do they know. I suppose I will tell them this when I go into to work tomorrow. See how they take it as I will be the likely candidate to do it.
Could be a good career move? Not sure, but while I was away they did come to realise just how well I do a hard job.
J
I am thinking I waited too late to order a deep dish pizza with ham, mushroom and black olive! ::)
There's a giant secret list of things we aren't supposed to talk about in most places, and some things we aren't supposed to talk about anywhere ever. I'm a little annoyed that humans are so social and still can't get to a point where we have more healthy and easily-inferred rules about communication.
I'm also thinking that it's kind of nice not to have access to a fast computer. I have to decide really carefully what I want to spend my internet time on, and I get more out of the activities I choose.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2FArtwork%2FRainbow%2520Dash%2520truck2_zps8t1opwrk.jpg&hash=e437be78d5b9fa3e36ba3c4b0ae37417270bf028) I designed my truck, if I win the lottery.
When I get my own truck, I want a rainbow dash blanket and pillow case set.
Well, I just saw this, and thought about how epic it would be to get this! Live2D allows you to interact with your drawings you make in a 3D style!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrLnF7CQ8Ac (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrLnF7CQ8Ac)
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on July 21, 2014, 12:13:15 AM
When I get my own truck, I want a rainbow dash blanket and pillow case set.
For me though I would get Pinkie Pie ;)
The next two weeks are going to be amazing for me and I can't wait for my new ID.
I would could leave work a lot earlier if only I wouldn't keep checking to make sure everything is locked. Again and again and again and again and again.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on July 21, 2014, 05:25:37 AM
I would could leave work a lot earlier if only I wouldn't keep checking to make sure everything is locked. Again and again and again and again and again.
I used to do that. It's really time-consuming and unpleasant and you deserve all the props in the world for being however functional you are.
I'm thinking about how much I would love to be able to find better ways to want food and sleep when I'm not feeling great. I have to get up in like four hours and I know I'm going to be super slow on the uptake until (hopefully) getting a good sleep tomorrow night.
Felix, I can relate to those self care issues
I am so edgy u want to crawl out of my skin. Waiting for the memo to come out
My last reply didn't show up?
Oh it did. Hahaha I'm just filling up this thread. I think maybe I have tapalk figured out now
I'm thinking about watching Harry Potter. I hadn't seen all the movies in years but I've been recently watching one a day and I've only got the last two to watch again. That and how cool it'd be to be an actual Sorceress or Wizard.
I'm thinking about how I'm a bit disappointed by how more people talk about watching the Harry Potter movies than reading the books. The books are way better, but I guess this is how society is now.
Quote from: Edge on July 21, 2014, 01:40:33 PM
I'm thinking about how I'm a bit disappointed by how more people talk about watching the Harry Potter movies than reading the books. The books are way better, but I guess this is how society is now.
I got halfway through the books, then it got too complicated for my ADD ass to follow.
Damned glad they made the movies. Maybe I'll give the books another stab one day if I ever decide to take those meds that sort of kill my creativity.
Quote from: Liam Erik on July 21, 2014, 02:31:52 PM
My best friend in elementary school wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter for religious reasons because of the word 'witch.' Clearly her parents hadn't actually picked the book up.
Wow. That's pretty thickheaded. My next door neighbors in the '70s weren't allowed to see Star Wars or listen to KISS for dubious religious reasons as well. One night in 1979, some of the neighborhood kids spray painted the Star Wars and KISS logos (badly) on their garage door. When the parents asked around about who did it, the answer was always "I think it must have been the devil."
Then again, KISS was pretty much down for the count in 1979 with that disco crap they tried to pass off.
So ->-bleeped-<-ing pissed off at my girlfriend. She wants us to play LoL so we play and she gets pissed off because I took one of her kills and I end up 7/3 and she's 0/4 as adc and I was playing Lux as her support and she begins to act all immature and childish and keeps farming at the expense of the rest of the team because I told her how to improve her cs score. I seriously don't get wtf she wants.
I just drove my first truck today. And it was fun, but pretty challenging. Its been years since I drove stick shift and in these trucks you have to double clutch to change gears.
Just got back from the doctor. The moles he took off mah face were benign, but they are still examining my testicles. Not cancerous, but "interesting".
I'm glad they weren't boring, but WTF does "interesting" mean? How intersexed am I?
Quote from: Jill F on July 21, 2014, 06:43:21 PM
Just got back from the doctor. The moles he took off mah face were benign, but they are still examining my testicles. Not cancerous, but "interesting".
I'm glad they weren't boring, but WTF does "interesting" mean? How intersexed am I?
Perhaps interesting with fava beans and a nice chianti? ::)
Whether or not I am going to get a job offer by Panda Express tomorrow.
Quote from: Dee Walker on July 21, 2014, 06:57:42 PM
Perhaps interesting with fava beans and a nice chianti? ::)
augh lol
Quote from: Jill F on July 21, 2014, 02:25:03 PM
I got halfway through the books, then it got too complicated for my ADD ass to follow.
Damned glad they made the movies. Maybe I'll give the books another stab one day if I ever decide to take those meds that sort of kill my creativity.
I have plenty ADHD but I found the books pretty engrossing. I was not able to sit still through any full movies, but I watched parts of the first two in small increments and I don't understand how any value judgements can be made about the worth of watching the film story versus reading the book story. They were different, but both formats seemed pretty cool to me.
Quote from: Liam Erik on July 21, 2014, 02:31:52 PM
My best friend in elementary school wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter for religious reasons because of the word 'witch.' Clearly her parents hadn't actually picked the book up.
I wasn't allowed to watch Ninja Turtles because my dad said the rat sage was a new age pagan. I remember sneaking in a borrowed nes game of it and my dad came home early from work and was furious. I wasn't allowed to watch Fraggle Rock either for the same reasons. I think some fundamentalist parents are overly guided by paranoia.
Quote from: Felix on July 21, 2014, 08:52:45 PM
I wasn't allowed to watch Ninja Turtles because my dad said the rat sage was a new age pagan.....I wasn't allowed to watch Fraggle Rock either for the same reasons. I think some fundamentalist parents are overly guided by paranoia.
Wow...that's crazy (especially about Fraggle Rock). Having got back into that show, I don't see how anyone could reach that conclusion. It makes absolutely no sense. Sounds like to me they were just judging it on something that wasn't there.
boss man hired a new girl so my coworker and i are getting worried
Quote from: King Malachite on July 21, 2014, 09:10:27 PM
boss man hired a new girl so my coworker and i are getting worried
Why is that?
I read the books but haven't made it through any of the movies. I saw like the first and maybe 3rd? at a friend's house and fell asleep both times. I'm not into books much
I am trying to decide if I want to take a bath before bed, drink a corona before bed (probably in the bath) or just go straight to bed.
I'm also thinking felix is a pretty cool guy I would like to get to know better
Teed off. My mom blamed me for something she KNOWS my brother did. The Brat (now 18) told me the other day that he doesn't care if mom is frustrated with his mess, because "she doesn't do anything about it so I don't care." Maybe I should tell her that...
And then it got me thinking about my day to day life and how people try to take advantage of me, and often succeed. Like I carried some client's heavy bag around on Friday like a servant because I didn't have the balls to say no. And I got to thinking now...why? I've never asked myself why I let myself be a doormat. I just berate myself for accepting such treatment and then never do anything about it. In the case with the bag...part of me believed for a moment that he wasn't capable (not true), but I think more than anything I was scared to lose my job. But that's stupid - if they're going to expect me to be a personal servant rather than someone helping this person, it's a job I'd rather not have and I can get another.
I think on a deeper level, though, I don't feel like I am actually worthy of equal respect though. I feel like, for whatever reason, I am inadequate, and I have to overcompensate for that by being the "nice one." Like if I am not the person willing to bend over backwards and go the extra mile for everyone, I am inherently not worthy of anything in this life. I feel as if the only way I can "earn my way" and set myself apart is by being the person who would give you the shirt off his back.
I may be forced to take some crap at home because I am completely broke and won't be able to support myself for at least a few months, but goddamn if I am going to take this crap in my day to day life. I'd rather lose my job than carry around some heavy bag like a glorified coat hanger.
Don't know how to describe the thoughts, but listening to Weird Al's new album "Mandatory Frineds" and the finale song is just so weird (in the good way), it's making me mentally laugh a lot. Everyone is asleep, so I can't laugh out loud. Shhhhhhhh.
birkin I used to feel like that, and then now I still feel sorta like that but for very different reasons, and my behavior isn't as dysfunctional as it used to be.
I used to get blamed for all sorts of crap because I didn't speak up. I used to do almost anything anyone ever wanted, because I was raised to comply with requests. Even when it didn't feel right, I didn't have a picture of how else a person could act. I was gullible, silent, assumed if anyone was wrong it must be me, etc. I definitely felt (if I let myself examine the issue) like I had something wrong with me and that others might be doing me a favor by tolerating my presence. I would put almost any human ahead of my own needs and preferences, and I got taken advantage of a lot.
Now, I just try to do the math. It usually works out that I am still willing to be a glorified coatrack or give a comfortable person the shirt that I need, but if my suffering in the act is less than theirs would be without my action, I don't mind. I guard my dignity carefully and whether I feel good about myself or not I usually am able to keep other people from being the arbiters of my identity. I've had to really methodically cut out or keep away people who abuse my desire to avoid cynicism, though.
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on July 21, 2014, 12:13:15 AM
When I get my own truck, I want a rainbow dash blanket and pillow case set.
You will always have a pit stop location in central Oklahoma with plenty of room for a rig. Unless it is bigger than 10 acres! :o
About to leave on my 5.5 hour trip to see an endo I can hopefully afford until I get this insurance mess figured out. Also just got off of work. I'm glad a friend is driving since she is going to the same place.
So first day back in the office in over a month. Bit strange.
Sat down with my boss and told him some things about my month in Manila
Told him that we need to send someone over for 6 months at least to oversee the rollout there otherwise it will fail.
Locals have little to no experience and don't understand what will be needed no matter how much training is given.
Someone will have to go for a long time.
I have yet to be proven wrong at work so lets see what happens.
Could be a good career move as I could do it.
It would be hard and I would miss home.
Might also have to travel to Mumbai to conduct more training.
I originally trained my boss to do the training in Mumbai.
Hmmm. Manila or Mumbai? I know which I would prefer.
Quote from: Edge on July 21, 2014, 01:40:33 PM
I'm thinking about how I'm a bit disappointed by how more people talk about watching the Harry Potter movies than reading the books. The books are way better, but I guess this is how society is now.
I don't like to read, I'm also horribly dyslexic. When I try to read a book I have to read lines multiple times over and over because half the time I don't understand things and the words look all messed up to me, and a lot of times I'll end up reading the same lines over and over without noticing it. Also the Harry Potter movies have one of my favourite actors in them whom plays Lucius, Jason Isaacs is awesome. And that is why I prefer the movies over the books.
Quote from: Ephemeral on July 21, 2014, 04:48:33 PM
So pissed off at my girlfriend. She wants us to play LoL so we play and she gets pissed off because I took one of her kills and I end up 7/3 and she's 0/4 as adc and I was playing Lux as her support and she begins to act all immature and childish and keeps farming at the expense of the rest of the team because I told her how to improve her cs score. I seriously don't get wtf she wants.
I don't see how people have a problem with CSing, its one of the easiest mechanics to get down in the game. But I don't think League is such a good game for couples to play together, there are far to many ragers in the game and well, it doesn't help if your GF is one of them. I would tell you to just tab+mute her, but I don't think that'll work since you know her. xD
On a side note, I remember when I use to play support Lux. I use to only play Lux, Nidalee and Sona support. That was before I found out how bad Nidalee/Lux were at support and of course now Sona isn't to hot with the current meta and gold rate that supports get. Nidalee is still my most played champion though. I have almost 1,200 ranked games on just Nidalee, I love her. ^_^
birken- I can relate to a lot of what you and felix are saying. It's strange. I don't know how people tell but if you don't feel like you can say no or have value, they know. It's a sad fact that people who have been abused are more likely to get abused again.
For me it's changed. it took time and a lot of hard work. I have been lucky enough to find a good therapist. she often reminds me that no one is "the boss of me", except me.
Quote from: Jenny07 on July 22, 2014, 05:35:03 AM
Hmmm. Manila or Mumbai? I know which I would prefer.
which one?
Glad to know I am not alone. I guess the only thing I can do right now is try to be mindful of when I am not speaking for myself, and challenge that fear.
Now I'm thinking about lunches. I need to start packing my own but I honestly have no idea what sorts of things I can pack. They'll be unrefrigerated for like 5 or 6 hours so they need to be stuff that doesn't need a fridge at all. I don't have anything that can act as an icepack...
I love peeing standing up
Quote from: christopher on July 22, 2014, 09:54:34 PM
I love peeing standing up
It can be most handy when you're out in the woods, peeing on trees is a for sure guy thing!
Quote from: Nami on July 22, 2014, 05:45:53 AM
I don't like to read, I'm also horribly dyslexic. When I try to read a book I have to read lines multiple times over and over because half the time I don't understand things and the words look all messed up to me, and a lot of times I'll end up reading the same lines over and over without noticing it. Also the Harry Potter movies have one of my favourite actors in them whom plays Lucius, Jason Isaacs is awesome. And that is why I prefer the movies over the books.
I don't see how people have a problem with CSing, its one of the easiest mechanics to get down in the game. But I don't think League is such a good game for couples to play together, there are far to many ragers in the game and well, it doesn't help if your GF is one of them. I would tell you to just tab+mute her, but I don't think that'll work since you know her. xD
On a side note, I remember when I use to play support Lux. I use to only play Lux, Nidalee and Sona support. That was before I found out how bad Nidalee/Lux were at support and of course now Sona isn't to hot with the current meta and gold rate that supports get. Nidalee is still my most played champion though. I have almost 1,200 ranked games on just Nidalee, I love her. ^_^
She isn't very good at the game and isn't very good at csing. I told her how to practice her cs before. When others have 90 cs she has 50. She aa a lot.
And the problem has more to do with her own insecurities that makes her behave that way.
Quote from: Nami on July 22, 2014, 05:45:53 AM
I don't like to read, I'm also horribly dyslexic. When I try to read a book I have to read lines multiple times over and over because half the time I don't understand things and the words look all messed up to me, and a lot of times I'll end up reading the same lines over and over without noticing it. Also the Harry Potter movies have one of my favourite actors in them whom plays Lucius, Jason Isaacs is awesome. And that is why I prefer the movies over the books.
I don't see how people have a problem with CSing, its one of the easiest mechanics to get down in the game. But I don't think League is such a good game for couples to play together, there are far to many ragers in the game and well, it doesn't help if your GF is one of them. I would tell you to just tab+mute her, but I don't think that'll work since you know her. xD
On a side note, I remember when I use to play support Lux. I use to only play Lux, Nidalee and Sona support. That was before I found out how bad Nidalee/Lux were at support and of course now Sona isn't to hot with the current meta and gold rate that supports get. Nidalee is still my most played champion though. I have almost 1,200 ranked games on just Nidalee, I love her. ^_^
Nidalee is easy to counter if you can get out of the way of those skillshots. I recently just started normals and got a quadrakill with my best champion, Heimerdinger. CS used to be a problem for me but I was able to get 100 by around 14-15 minutes depending on what champion I'm using. I usually go mid though.
I'm thinking about my name. I'm sticking with Francesco when I change my name legally but I'll have to change my middle and last name too in order to avoid getting outed by vindictive people if they attempt to look at my past history to find some dirt. Not sure what to use...
I have a bunch of little flies coming out of my drain. Pretty sure they laid eggs in there. =/
I really fancy a banana muffin XD or some banana-bread *drools*
Trying to map out my money.
Now that I actually have a semblance of a social life and coworkers that want to go out for things like lunch, I have to budget for that. But how much?
I also have to resist the urge to get too obsessed with saving money because I can see myself going too far and becoming like the Extreme Cheapskates on TV lol.
Quote from: birkin on July 23, 2014, 05:33:03 PM
I have a bunch of little flies coming out of my drain. Pretty sure they laid eggs in there. =/
Dump some clorox on the little beasties. Something is rotting down there.
I've worked at visitor center type places for a bit more than 20 years... and all I can say is people are so strange
Quote from: Shantel on July 23, 2014, 09:51:10 AM
It can be most handy when you're out in the woods, peeing on trees is a for sure guy thing!
that's so funny (and true), given the conversation we had at work today
Quote from: Shantel on July 23, 2014, 07:51:11 PM
Dump some clorox on the little beasties. Something is rotting down there.
Yeah, it's pretty rank, I hope that bleach will do the trick.
I asked my mom what she saw in my dad to be with him....and her response was "he had a job and I had a job". I asked her if there was any love there and she said no. I asked my father the same thing: what he saw in her and he said "she was pretty". I asked him if there was any love there and he said something along the lines in he'd like to think so since they had my brother and I. They don't seem to get along as well and they always talk about each other. I hope whenever I find a lady that it don't end up like my parent's relationship. Then again, I have no intentions of being a wife beater like my father was.
I really want a Foxhound velcro patch. I got a Foxhound rubber bag clip and it should be here this week. I'm on a Foxhound kick for some reason and I never even beat a Metal Gear Solid game. It just looks so cool, lol. FOXHOUND!
Quote from: birkin on July 23, 2014, 05:33:03 PM
I have a bunch of little flies coming out of my drain. Pretty sure they laid eggs in there. =/
Actually quite common for drains that aren't used real often. Did you flush some water down it?
Quote from: LordKAT on July 23, 2014, 10:40:53 PM
Actually quite common for drains that aren't used real often. Did you flush some water down it?
Thing is I use this drain twice a day, for my showers. And I've let some hot, hot water run down it but the flies still pop up.
I got "misgendered" again at work the other day. I wish I could be all super excited about it, but to be honest, it was like water off a duck's back. Perhaps because that's the way it's supposed to be....being called sir.
Oh and I was talking to a child's mother too, and she was pregnant. We got into the topic of family and I ask if she wanted a large family and she said no. Then she asked me. I told her I'm not interested in kids. She told me that I will change my mind when I meet that special person one day. While I knew her heart was in the right place, her statement rubbed me the wrong way. Why do I "have to meet that special person one day" in order to want kids? Why assume that I haven't met that person? Perhaps they didn't want kids either. I texted my friend and she agrees with her. She things that I would want kids if I met that special lady. I was a little bit disappointed that she would think that. I've been down that road before when it comes to relationships and wanting kids. My heart truly didn't desire kids in my last relationship and the feeling hasn't changed. I got my niece and nephews and they are enough for me. To this lady's credit though, she didn't say "find that special man". With the way I'm dressed people wouldn't think I'm into men. I don't go out of my way to dress masculine, but I sure as heck don't go out of my way to dress feminine either. I feel like I radiate masculinity.....or at least I want to.
Quote from: birkin on July 23, 2014, 05:33:03 PM
I have a bunch of little flies coming out of my drain. Pretty sure they laid eggs in there. =/
Blowflies or those small annoying ones you can hardly see. If it's the latter try dumping a whole heap of talcum or baby powder down the drain after your next shower. Or you can try drawing them out with a glass of red wine. (Old bartender and cellarman trick)
Quote from: Neospector on July 23, 2014, 11:19:49 AM
Nidalee is easy to counter if you can get out of the way of those skillshots. I recently just started normals and got a quadrakill with my best champion, Heimerdinger. CS used to be a problem for me but I was able to get 100 by around 14-15 minutes depending on what champion I'm using. I usually go mid though.
I'm thinking about my name. I'm sticking with Francesco when I change my name legally but I'll have to change my middle and last name too in order to avoid getting outed by vindictive people if they attempt to look at my past history to find some dirt. Not sure what to use...
The problem in general is that Nidalee doesn't really bring much to the table. Even compared to someone like Katarina, Katarina has greater potential group damage output which is what is important especially late game. Nidalee has her poke but after they reworked her spamming Q isn't really viable anymore and she's not as viable in caster form overall meaning even less team utility than before.
100 cs by 15 minutes is all right since the benchmark is about 70 at 10 minutes.
Joint issues. Not the smoking guide but the aging kind. Thought that I might have gout in my big toe. Unfortunately diagnosed as arthritic, from too much football.
malachite- I used to get that all the time when I was younger. it drove me crazy. people have this set idea that you should want kids. when you get old like me it finally stops.
Quote from: birkin on July 23, 2014, 09:40:31 PM
Yeah, it's pretty rank, I hope that bleach will do the trick.
If that doesn't do it then flush it really, really well then use something like drano. If there's enough for flies to breed it' likely close to clogged.
Dysphoria, why do you exist? Or rather, why does my body turn in a way that causes me to experience dysphoria... Why didn't I pursue my transition when I was 18 when I first realized I was actually transgender? At least some of my issues now wouldn't exist.
Not sure what to do with myself today... I'm off all week on vacation and so far have done pretty much nothing. Went grocery shopping, walked my dog when it wasn't too hot, and then played a lot of video games and finished a book. It's relaxing but I feel like I should be accomplishing something. Guh!
You are accomplishing something. You're destressing so you can go back to work refreshed and ready to exert yourself again. Too many people, me included, try to do so much on vacation that they need a rest afterwards.
I'm feeling really depressed and I don't know why.
So apparently this guy at work only likes to talk to women. And he talks to me. But last week he definitely didn't see me as a woman. He made explicit references to my maleness. Yet he doesn't treat me the same as other guys.
But then this week I feel certain I heard him call me "her."
I don't really care. No one thinks I am a girl here so if he for whatever reason wants to call me one people are just going to think he is weird.
I told my brother this and he just goes "haha homo."
Quote from: christopher on July 24, 2014, 09:20:47 AM
malachite- I used to get that all the time when I was younger. it drove me crazy. people have this set idea that you should want kids. when you get old like me it finally stops.
Yes it can get rather annoying/frustrating to be told this several times.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on July 24, 2014, 02:48:08 PM
I'm feeling really depressed and I don't know why.
Aww, don't be sad! *tackle hugs*
And a picture of my dog laying on a unicorn, clinically proven to decrease depression and increase happiness :3
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FAjTVgcp.jpg&hash=17b808c0b009d1d43ecf4a374b7ad118fda11443)
Snitsky and Ezekial Jackson to TNA now? I got to start watching it more often then.
Whether we have a sick office. Temp is a shade over 24C with minimal air flow. Folk get sick get better then get sick again. Feels too warm
When I was in kindergarten, I thought "stop, drop and roll" was gonna be super important in life. Like, I'd be using it or saying it a lot and people would be catching on fire left and right. Twenty years later, I haven't used it or said it once. I feel mislead.
3 day weekend!! Time to get my ass out of bed to work out then go shopping!!
Quote from: King Malachite on July 24, 2014, 07:25:55 PM
Yes it can get rather annoying/frustrating to be told this several times.
I got told that by everyone from close friends to total strangers for years before I actually had a kid, and afterward it simply escalated to assumptions that I would want more kids. There doesn't seem to be a framework available for people to conceptualize the idea of being a human and not (as the default setting) wanting to have/make more humans. And for some reason that topic usually has no more social barriers than talking about the weather.
I was thinking about how owning a cat has made me unsure whether I'm a huge cold jerk or if this animal is just needy, but now I'm thinking that I'm pretty sure we had the same unicorn muffinpants's dog is enjoying. I think ours came from Borders. My daughter used to dress hers up in clothing from other dolls.
Working a double shift today. Getting my lumps chopped off will be a true joy, but it feels like it will never happen sometimes, especially when all I do is sleep, hop on a bus for 2 hours, work, bus, sleep.
Quote from: birkin on July 26, 2014, 06:37:10 AM
Working a double shift today. Getting my lumps chopped off will be a true joy, but it feels like it will never happen sometimes, especially when all I do is sleep, hop on a bus for 2 hours, work, bus, sleep.
We all have a few seasons of the ongoing eat, sleep, shi* thing that Luna Nyan just referred to as every day seeming like groundhog day, but it's part of the trudging process to get somewhere keep in mind that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
My thoughts are all bubbly and hectic about moving to a different apartment and all the plans and adjustments we'll have to make. I want to start packing right now, but I forgot to pick up boxes and also I don't think anyone around me would enjoy it if I started sorting and boxing stuff at 9pm. :laugh:
Do I tell my boss or not. I sooooo don't have to tell him now, but as he is about to become my major source of income it would be good to know where I stand. The closer I get to work today the more nervous and undersided I become. Anyone have a coin and some Dutch courage?
I'm thinking about my appearance because I'm unabashedly vain.
I've been thinking about hair. I was considering cutting it shorter and then I was considering cutting it in an undercut because I barely ever pass because I look so effeminate and an undercut would look more masculine than my hair now. But then I looked in the mirror and realized that I prefer my hair the way it is. I like that aesthetic better. Not because it's more feminine, obviously, but... I'm sure how to describe it. It just suits me and what I want better. It's more metalhead and less punk I guess?
Then I started thinking about clothes because, while I was thinking about hair, I was also thinking of how it would fit the metalhead, viking, and pirate aesthetics. That got me wondering. The only viking-like things I plan on actually wearing are things integrated with more metalhead clothing than viking clothing, but I still kind of like the idea of integrating things. I used to dress like a pirate, but don't anymore. I suddenly got the urge to dress like a pirate again, but I'm no longer sure of how I would do that without looking too feminine, without wearing clothes too baggy, and stuff like that.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on July 26, 2014, 11:32:46 PM
Do I tell my boss or not. I sooooo don't have to tell him now, but as he is about to become my major source of income it would be good to know where I stand. The closer I get to work today the more nervous and undersided I become. Anyone have a coin and some Dutch courage?
Best of luck and well wishes if you decide to tell them, I hope it goes well and you get the empathetic understanding you're inherently entitled to. *crosses everything, including hairs*
As for me, I'm wondering just where humanity would be headed if it adapts to things like anthropogenic climate change, resource conservation, etc and continues on its present path. It's actually slightly scaring me how unfathomable I expect things will be since central constructs are increasingly being challenged in many places and scientific understanding is allowing more possibilities. I wish I could live to see what replaces them.
Quote from: Felix on July 26, 2014, 01:20:57 AM
I got told that by everyone from close friends to total strangers for years before I actually had a kid, and afterward it simply escalated to assumptions that I would want more kids. There doesn't seem to be a framework available for people to conceptualize the idea of being a human and not (as the default setting) wanting to have/make more humans. And for some reason that topic usually has no more social barriers than talking about the weather.
Man I wish there was that framework for that. Now that I think about it, it seems like it should be some consideration of the other person when discussing kids due to these various barriers.
I'm thinking that I hope my nephew isn't getting sick.
"When are they going to get back to me about my insurance so I can start planning therapy?! I hate waiting. XD
Also I should get started on that commission right now"
The other day a woman called me a "lady." I wasn't offended or even insecure...I just...I am honestly confused. =/ I had a beard shadow and was wearing shorts and a T shirt, showing my hairy body, my voice is always taken for male on the phone, I am seen as male in all my social groups without question, and I can't even fathom how or why she thought I was a lady.
Of course me being me I stared in the mirror for a while trying to figure it out. I think she must have been visually impaired, and went off my height (I was next to a guy a foot taller than me) and perhaps my inflection, as I tend to speak more effeminately when I am working with my clients because I have to use my gentle voice lol.
Quote from: birkin on July 28, 2014, 01:32:10 AM
The other day a woman called me a "lady." I wasn't offended or even insecure...I just...I am honestly confused. =/ I had a beard shadow and was wearing shorts and a T shirt, showing my hairy body, my voice is always taken for male on the phone, I am seen as male in all my social groups without question, and I can't even fathom how or why she thought I was a lady.
Of course me being me I stared in the mirror for a while trying to figure it out. I think she must have been visually impaired, and went off my height (I was next to a guy a foot taller than me) and perhaps my inflection, as I tend to speak more effeminately when I am working with my clients because I have to use my gentle voice lol.
She probably needs glasses. I've done that to cis men and women at a glance, makes me feel kind of stupid when that happens.
Quote from: Shantel on July 28, 2014, 10:10:34 AM
She probably needs glasses. I've done that to cis men and women at a glance, makes me feel kind of stupid when that happens.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she couldn't see very well lol.
Some of my favorite books are cookbooks. I think my wife and I should probably write one. I mean, if we have written our "improvements" to Julia Child's recipes down, I should probably share them.
I wonder if I have more crushes, on average, than most people, not including celeb crushes. I've considered trying to make a list...because I feel like there are too many.
2002-2003: grade 8 English teacher
2005: Grade 10 English teacher (haha yes I apparently love the English teachers)
2005-2007: Best friend.
2007: The "local lesbian" at school lol.
2007: 2 coworkers at the grocery store.
2007-2011: my ex
2008-2009: one of my professors.
2010: classmate in research class.
2011: PhD student in my department.
2012-2014: my luuuurve <3
2012: one of my students (so wrong)
2013: another one of my students (SO SO wrong). Oh wait no, there were two that year in different groups.
2014: boss (augh)
I feel like there are some missing here. But this is an offhand list of the women (well, one is no longer a woman and that's what killed the crush...) who have completely knocked the breath out of me at some point or another.
My attraction to my boss is also so embarrassing. She isn't an old woman or anything but it's just not really appropriate. =/
Well, now I won't start at the other store until Friday as they need me to work at my old store Thursday since the manager there has a doctors appointment.
and my fingers smell like wieners now...
Life sucks.
Quote from: birkin on July 29, 2014, 02:40:53 PM
I wonder if I have more crushes, on average, than most people, not including celeb crushes. I've considered trying to make a list...because I feel like there are too many.
2002-2003: grade 8 English teacher
2005: Grade 10 English teacher (haha yes I apparently love the English teachers)
2005-2007: Best friend.
2007: The "local lesbian" at school lol.
2007: 2 coworkers at the grocery store.
2007-2011: my ex
2008-2009: one of my professors.
2010: classmate in research class.
2011: PhD student in my department.
2012-2014: my luuuurve <3
2012: one of my students (so wrong)
2013: another one of my students (SO SO wrong). Oh wait no, there were two that year in different groups.
2014: boss (augh)
I feel like there are some missing here. But this is an offhand list of the women (well, one is no longer a woman and that's what killed the crush...) who have completely knocked the breath out of me at some point or another.
Aww how sweet, (no truly I am being serious here). Don't worry your fine its the the T. Your just the first one brave enough to admit you are a softy at heart
lol well thank you IG, I feel kind of weird about it and crushes make me have a bad self esteem because I feel like they'll always be unrequited. :(
When I wake up and see the reflection of my breasts I usually think "Sunny side up, right on"
Quote from: V M on July 30, 2014, 03:27:18 AM
When I wake up and see the reflection of my breasts I usually think "Sunny side up, right on"
Tan lines?
I'm not sure about the ones I'm getting. I should probably do some topless sunbathing. Complete male fail in that department coming soon. RIGHT?
Quote from: Jill F on July 30, 2014, 03:57:22 AM
Tan lines?
I'm not sure about the ones I'm getting. I should probably do some topless sunbathing. Complete male fail in that department coming soon. RIGHT?
Nah, no tan lines, just being happy with development thus far and it's too hot to sleep with a top on this time of year
Quote from: Jill F on July 30, 2014, 02:21:30 AM
*hugs Laura*
I'm feeling better today. What triggered my depression yesterday was that I was planning to take a trip with a few people and it fell through. Then I did what I always end up doing. Taking something like this and it turning it inward on myself. Thinking that I'm just some pathetic loser since I can not go anywhere unless someone helps out since I can't drive. It just made me feel worthless.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on July 30, 2014, 12:26:01 PM
I'm feeling better today. What triggered my depression yesterday was that I was planning to take a trip with a few people and it fell through. Then I did what I always end up doing. Taking something like this and it turning it inward on myself. Thinking that I'm just some pathetic loser since I can not go anywhere unless someone helps out since I can't drive. It just made me feel worthless.
*Hugs Laura again*
I like you and don't think you're a loser at all. You're a survivor like a lot of the ladies here and should be applauded.
You're also one of the few people who has ever heard of Masters of Reality, so you get major points from me.
if anyone wonders, my avatar is a pic from about 5 years ago, before I lost my beauty to age...
*edit-corrected time frame. I just doublechecked, it was 5 years old, not 7.
Quote from: Jaime R D on July 30, 2014, 04:06:10 PM
if anyone wonders, my avatar is a pic from about 5 years ago, before I lost my beauty to age...
*edit-corrected time frame. I just doublechecked, it was 5 years old, not 7.
Very pretty, you still are darned pretty in my estimation!
It took me ages to pluck out this chin hair and before I could take a good look at it....it cough and disappears. :( -sigh- Stupid cough
I got to use the word "Pollyannaish" in my thesis. Whether or not it stays depends on my supervisor.
But all I could think of was that part in Kill Bill Vol 2 where Elle goes "The venom of a black mamba can kill a human in four hours, if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within 20 minutes. Now, you should listen to this, 'cause this concerns you. The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan. You know, I've always liked that word... "gargantuan"... so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence." That would so be me if I was a killer lmao!
I'm also wondering how I can be writing this impassioned (yet hopefully sufficiently academic) rant on a dumbass paper that I read, while listening to "Like a Virgin."
Whether the fact that I have not attempted to lose weight is a sub conscious attempt to make my MTA transition less obvious i.e. my weight is a wall behind which I hide.
OTH perhaps I just like my food too much.
Quote from: Aisla on July 31, 2014, 08:15:28 AM
Whether the fact that I have not attempted to lose weight is a sub conscious attempt to make my MTA transition less obvious i.e. my weight is a wall behind which I hide.
OTH perhaps I just like my food too much.
Probably a little of both! If you are a foodie then you are forever fighting a tummy, but if you have a tummy then your boobs might be seen as moobs on a chunky person.
Quote from: V M on July 30, 2014, 03:27:18 AM
When I wake up and see the reflection of my breasts I usually think "Sunny side up, right on"
I guess, as long as they don't look like fried eggs! :D :icon_hahano:
The thought that I could lose Caleb to someone else terrifies me enough that I cried myself to sleep.
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on August 01, 2014, 05:12:35 AM
The thought that I could lose Caleb to someone else terrifies me enough that I cried myself to sleep.
Needless worry I'm sure! Caleb seems to be totally in the tank for you Rainbow Girl!
I was talking to a friend from high school who I recently got back in touch with. Apparently, alongside being generally creeped out by my dad because she could pick up that he was crazy and abusive, she also picked up pervy vibes and was worried he was abusing me in other ways.
Quote from: Shantel on August 01, 2014, 09:27:52 AM
Needless worry I'm sure! Caleb seems to be totally in the tank for you Rainbow Girl!
I hope so. I'm still upset from last night.
Dead Nicole from Dead Space 2 is hot. When she was alive....not so much, but dead Nicole is sexy.
Thinking about some song lyrics...
QuoteYou've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
know when to walk away
Know when to RUN!!!
Quote from: Rainbow Brite on August 01, 2014, 06:10:05 PM
I hope so. I'm still upset from last night.
I love you. <3
My new coworker is a mega lesbian lol. She hasn't said it but I can so tell.
I like reading Liam's updates.
I'm thinking that I should save every scrap of extra money I have in case we get the house and move next month, but my computer is such a lifeline that I'm tempted to get it fixed and deal with the fallout later. I usually have way more money than I need for getting by but big stuff keeps piling up. I need to update my cat's vaccinations and county registry or the apartment we're looking at won't let me bring him, so we need to load an unwilling animal into a crate on a hot day and drag him down to Petco on one of the next few saturdays.
I need to figure out how to be super extra empathic and friendly and upbeat with all the mammals around me so this move can go well. I prefer to be a nice guy in theory. Actually doing it is hard.
Quote from: birkin on August 02, 2014, 12:23:25 AM
My new coworker is a mega lesbian lol. She hasn't said it but I can so tell.
I'm thinking that Birkin's coworker must have been formed when six lesbians assembled themselves into a bigger lesbian. Two became the legs...
:laugh:
Hahahahaha that is funny. ;D
I suspect that she is in a relationship with another coworker. They seem close (they labelled themselves as friends so it could be that too). I'm not about to ask.
I don't think I'm doing this earwax removal thing right... Dropping it into my ears and such works fine but nothing comes out when I rinse? Am I supposed to lean my head too when I do that or something? Oh well, I used a cotton swab to remove it this time though I know you shouldn't do it since it damages the ear.
Feeling depressed because I should be in Wisconsin right now and not stuck here in this stupid town. I hate not being able to go anywhere or do anything. I look at my life. It's basically half over and I haven't done a damn thing with it.
What's the point?
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on August 02, 2014, 03:54:49 PM
Feeling depressed because I should be in Wisconsin right now and not stuck here in this stupid town. I hate not being able to go anywhere or do anything. I look at my life. It's basically half over and I haven't done a damn thing with it.
What's the point?
I thought you were going to go anyway? Also, I've never heard anyone say "I should be in Wisconsin," so on behalf of Wisconsonites (Wisconsintonians?) I'm glad somebody feels that way. :D
I've been wearing a black bandana tied to my arm because it's too hot to wear long sleeves to protect my tattoo from the sun, and I'm hoping it doesn't look like a gang thing. :laugh:
I saw a man in a dress today at the mall. That's the first time I've seen a male in a dress that wasn't for a high school pep rally. He had a goatee and tattoos. I though it was rather interesting. I liked the dress. I will admit, it did kind of rub me the wrong way at first, but if a woman can wear men's clothes, then a man should be able to wear a female dress....theoretically speaking.
Quote from: Felix on August 02, 2014, 04:29:26 PM
I thought you were going to go anyway? Also, I've never heard anyone say "I should be in Wisconsin," so on behalf of Wisconsonites (Wisconsintonians?) I'm glad somebody feels that way. :D
It was dependent on someone else getting me there. Unfortunately, they are in bad shape, financially, so they had to bail at the last minute. It just sucks because I always need to depend on other people. It makes me feel stupid and worthless. Plus, I just hate thinking about how my life is basically half over and I've accomplished nothing at all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D78__4-YRIs&list=UU1yBKRuGpC1tSM73A0ZjYjQ&index=25
I'm wonder if I would pay $60 to cuddle with someone, particularly with the lady in the video. Apparently some woman is making bank with her cuddling service she has and according to the video, she can make up to $7200 in a month.
I'm not quite sure if I would pay that. I guess if I did, it would be something to try at least once. My body pillow kind of helps with that, but it would be nice to cuddle with a human.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on August 02, 2014, 04:55:10 PM
It was dependent on someone else getting me there. Unfortunately, they are in bad shape, financially, so they had to bail at the last minute. It just sucks because I always need to depend on other people. It makes me feel stupid and worthless. Plus, I just hate thinking about how my life is basically half over and I've accomplished nothing at all.
That really sucks. Part of why I moved to a city with a lot of trains and buses was because I didn't want a car and hated so much being at the mercy of other people when I wanted to do anything important.
I think a lot of us stress about our level of accomplishments relative to our age. I started college in my mid-twenties, and I was terrified that I wouldn't get through my post-graduate work in time to do and publish much useful research before having to retire. My life obviously went in a different direction, and now I just want to be more helpful than burdensome to the world, but I know people with MD's and PhD's who still agonize over not feeling like they've accomplished enough. My roommate is a musician in his forties, and he seems to think he has done nothing notable in his life, but most people who know him would disagree. I've had to revise my definitions of accomplishment in order to make sense of what I've seen in myself and others.
QuoteI'm wonder if I would pay $60 to cuddle with someone, particularly with the lady in the video. Apparently some woman is making bank with her cuddling service she has and according to the video, she can make up to $7200 in a month.
I would pay $60 to cuddle with a stranger with no strings attached. That sounds nice. She's a clever entrepreneur.
I'd cuddle with anyone at this point lol. I'm so physically lonely. But if I paid for it I think I'd feel like...I dunno like they didn't really care about me. :|
Quote from: Felix on August 02, 2014, 06:19:07 PM
That really sucks. Part of why I moved to a city with a lot of trains and buses was because I didn't want a car and hated so much being at the mercy of other people when I wanted to do anything important.
This ^, I missed an endo appointment because the shuttle service didn't show up and I couldn't find a ride >:( Luckily I was able to reschedule and use another shuttle service a month later and it all went well
I miss the good old days when I could jump on a public bus or rail system and go wherever I needed 8) Sure, there was some walking and waiting involved but all I needed was a few bucks and a current schedule to follow :)
Sometimes I think that I would like to be cuddled a bit
Quote from: V M on August 02, 2014, 07:14:51 PM
Sometimes I think that I would like to be cuddled a bit
Well if you didn't live so damned far away...... :)
Quote from: Shantel on August 02, 2014, 07:20:37 PM
Well if you didn't live so damned far away...... :)
Hugs :)
I think it's pretty awesome how many people here like to cuddle. I think I'd pay $30 to cuddle. For $60 bucks I could get a video game and just find comfort in palying with others on multiplayer.
I should get my cat off the pizza
Quote from: christopher on August 03, 2014, 12:32:50 AM
I should get my cat off the pizza
LOL... Maybe your cat is into aroma therapy?
Quote from: christopher on August 03, 2014, 12:32:50 AM
I should get my cat off the pizza
If I was a cat I would be all over pizza. That's gotta be even better than laptops and clothes dryers.
Seeing my endo tomorrow and thinking should I get the pellet or keep going with tablets?
I like tablets as I find I can alter the dose depending how I feel.
Sometimes cut the dose in half from what he has prescribed.
Don't worry my endo knows and supports this.
If I have to go back to Manila for a longer period might be interesting.
I would definitely go with the pellet . I always had concerns about tablets , in any treatment , maybe excepting the sublingual ones . Even with the E - ones now , I am really concern that a pill so tiny will be totally absorbed in the digestive tract , and the low levels in the blood tests may show that I am right . Unfortunately , I guess I will first be put on injections and maybe later will get an implant .
Quote from: christopher on August 03, 2014, 12:32:50 AM
I should get my cat off the pizza
I thought cats laid on lasagna
Quote from: immortal gypsy on August 03, 2014, 05:23:55 AM
I thought cats laid on lasagna
No, they just like to eat the lasagna and then take a nap in the dish
Thank you all for being so caring ::)
Like seriously? I bought this piece of bread earlier this week and it's already moldy? I stuffed it in a plastic bag and then into a dark and moist-free lid and it still managed to mold apart?! What a waste of money. I want this heatwave to be over. There's always this irony how we Swedes are like "give us summer, best season of the year" but when summer's here all we do is bitch because rain, heat, etc.
Quote from: Ephemeral on August 03, 2014, 06:33:28 AM
Like seriously? I bought this piece of bread earlier this week and it's already moldy? I stuffed it in a plastic bag and then into a dark and moist-free lid and it still managed to mold apart?! What a waste of money. I want this heatwave to be over. There's always this irony how we Swedes are like "give us summer, best season of the year" but when summer's here all we do is bitch because rain, heat, etc.
That is what the frig is for?
Quote from: V M on August 03, 2014, 12:44:56 AM
LOL... Maybe your cat is into aroma therapy?
hmm... he likes the smell of my stinky shoes
Quote from: Felix on August 03, 2014, 02:14:58 AM
If I was a cat I would be all over pizza. That's gotta be even better than laptops and clothes dryers.
exactly
I'm still alive 36 hours after my first E injection, so I guess I did it right. I'm scared of one day waking up and starting to have hot flashes.
Quote from: christopher on August 03, 2014, 10:54:32 AM
hmm... he likes the smell of my stinky shoes
exactly
LOL... My neighbor's cat likes to lick people's toes :D
I had to wear the bunny suit for a birthday party today. The kids loved me. They were like "omg the bunny is real! Can you talk? Do you like carrots? Do you like soup? Do you like peas? What's your name? Do you like cake? Can you blink" The questions went on and on and they kids wanted me to bounce in the bouncy house so I did. I wanted to stay out there longer, but it's extremely hot in that suit. Sweat stung my eye and sweatt and it went in my mouth. I literally have to come up for air. After I took the suit off, one girl was looking for where the bunny went because she wanted me to eat pizza with them. She gave me a big hug several times. I felt like I had a secret identity lol. I asked her afterwards if she enjoyed the party and she gave me a big hug and said she's going to miss the place.
Oh and as the bunny, I tumbled off the bouncy slide and injured my leg. Now there's a painful bruise on there. The things I do to earn money for top surgery, lol. I enjoyed it though. I really did. Since I won't be able to make it to Anime Expo anytime soon, this is closest to cosplay I can get.
I want to do what jessica says and wink at the people that stare but ....err... I can't wink well. You know how little kids wink? that's how I wink
cripes. now I'm all revved. a few minutes ago my friend called me crying and sounding awful saying she thinks she needs me to take her to the hospital. she's explaining what's wrong and I'm trying to hang up the phone so I can get my ass over there. just as I show up, her husband shows up early from work so he's taking her but my adrenaline is going. it sounded like a kidney infection maybe (like I'm a doctor). I should be going to bed in a few minutes but sheesh.
I'm currently wishing I could win the lottery already, pay all my debts, get a house, then put some aside and donate the rest to a couple charities that I feel strongly about. The inability to pay full rent on time and lack of job offers, combined with living primarily on ramen is getting rather old.
I hope your friend recovers without any complications christopher.
Quote from: GenTechJ on August 03, 2014, 11:40:00 PM
I hope your friend recovers without any complications christopher.
thank you.
I'm thinking... of how frikken clean i can get my room. I'm such a clean freak once i've run out of things to do online. Or work. Or if i'm stuck in a drawing and don't want to finish working on it. Usually that's it - then i'll get up and clean like mad. Get tired. And....give up and play videogames.
Ahhhh to think that classes are starting up this month makes me urk.... well, back to pokemon.
Quote from: V M on August 03, 2014, 05:57:23 PM
LOL... My neighbor's cat likes to lick people's toes :D
lol my cat likes to lick your palm senseless.
I wish the NHS would send me a letter :(
I bought pants that fit a couple weeks ago, but they're already falling halfway down my butt. I swear they fit just fine when I bought them. What the heck?
time to go to work. ho hum
I am grateful to have a job and especially grateful that I have such good coworkers
your positivity is contagious christopher :laugh:
There is a tumblr called "movethe(fword)overbro" and it's dedicated to taking pictures of random men sitting on the bus or train with their legs spread.
Some guys are sitting like d-bags but a lot are just sitting NORMALLY. I mean, I could end up on that blog simply for not crushing my thighs together in a death grip.
I mean, I get it...when I was female guys usually touched their legs against mine on the train. Now that I'm seen as male, guys generally give me my space. So it sucks when you're sitting next to a dude and he just has his sweaty leg against yours lol. THAT is rude but not when there is tons of space to take and no one nearby. But these guys mostly don't even touch others' legs, they just take up the space that they need to not feel like they're curled up in a fetal position.
And I mean when I was seen as female I just took the space I wanted. If these women are so offended they should just take the space they want instead of passive-aggressively whining about it on Tumblr.
lol I have no idea why this has me so riled up.
That would have me riled up too. If I have enough room to, I sit like a "d-bag" because it's comfortable and I'm not bothering anyone. If there's someone sitting next to me or if someone wants to sit next to me, then I make room for them. Why exactly would anyone have a problem with that?
Quote from: Edge on August 04, 2014, 01:44:29 PM
That would have me riled up too. If I have enough room to, I sit like a "d-bag" because it's comfortable and I'm not bothering anyone. If there's someone sitting next to me or if someone wants to sit next to me, then I make room for them. Why exactly would anyone have a problem with that?
Yeah exactly! I take up a lot of space if it's there, because I want to be comfortable and it isn't hurting anyone. If someone wants to sit down, I make space for them, and I am willing to bet that 99% of guys would do the same.
I felt better when I saw the blog "movethe(fword)oversis" where people took pics of women with big bags on the seats, or taking multiple seats. They use these hilarious adjectives under each picture like "avaricious!" "barbaric!" LMAO. I love the sarcasm. But yeah, women take up tons of space too and I find that women are the ones who give you a dirty look when you want to sit where their bag is. Not always, but sometimes.
I need to start setting boundaries I think. I can be such a pushover. And when it comes to M I need to ask lots of questions. It's fine she's not a planner, but when it comes to having her dog at my house, I get to be the planner that I am.
Quote from: Eris on August 04, 2014, 09:36:17 AM
your positivity is contagious christopher :laugh:
Oh man, and I was about to get all grumpy and stuff :P
I wonder if I should buy a fake beard to curb my lack-of-facial-hair dysphoria.
When I have to move quickliy, the spaces back of house are becomeing smaller and smaller day by day. (yesterday spent half the day banging my right boob on a wall turning a corner. Today its while I'm trying to go down a hallway).
Ouch Ouch Ouch and :icon_yikes: fun for the whole family
My life is falling into pieces. All the small pieces I managed to scramble together it's falling apart and I am afraid I might lose it all. I don't know what I am going to do or what I can do. Why can't I just have a simple life where I can be happy.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on August 05, 2014, 01:20:47 AM
When I have to move quickliy, the spaces back of house are becomeing smaller and smaller day by day. (yesterday spent half the day banging my right boob on a wall turning a corner. Today its while I'm trying to go down a hallway).
Ouch Ouch Ouch and :icon_yikes: fun for the whole family
Ouch! lol. I wish you a speedy recovery from such boob-related injuries. :P
---
I'm in a godawful mood at the moment. I worked a night shift, where I was allowed to sleep but didn't actually sleep because someone attacked my coworker. I got about an hour of sleep after dealing with that, only to get misgendered to my face with a full and obvious beard shadow. Then I take the bus home for 2 hours...got to hop on the bus for another hour and a half to get to my doctor's appointment, then to see my supervisor, by the time I get home I have to go straight to bed because I am working again in the morning, followed by another sleeping shift.
And it's only 10 AM. I am considering quitting one of my two jobs actually.
Quote from: birkin on August 05, 2014, 11:07:47 AM
Ouch! lol. I wish you a speedy recovery from such boob-related injuries. :P
---
I'm in a godawful mood at the moment. I worked a night shift, where I was allowed to sleep but didn't actually sleep because someone attacked my coworker. I got about an hour of sleep after dealing with that, only to get misgendered to my face with a full and obvious beard shadow. Then I take the bus home for 2 hours...got to hop on the bus for another hour and a half to get to my doctor's appointment, then to see my supervisor, by the time I get home I have to go straight to bed because I am working again in the morning, followed by another sleeping shift.
And it's only 10 AM. I am considering quitting one of my two jobs actually.
Sounds like another buddy of mine had a ->-bleeped-<-ty day, I hope you corrected the misgendering dingbat!
Quote from: Edge on August 04, 2014, 09:17:21 AM
I bought pants that fit a couple weeks ago, but they're already falling halfway down my butt. I swear they fit just fine when I bought them. What the heck?
Watch out, that T will give you a case of goneass! :D
Quote from: immortal gypsy on August 05, 2014, 01:20:47 AM
When I have to move quickliy, the spaces back of house are becomeing smaller and smaller day by day. (yesterday spent half the day banging my right boob on a wall turning a corner. Today its while I'm trying to go down a hallway).
Ouch Ouch Ouch and :icon_yikes: fun for the whole family
Kitchen cabinet doors can be dangerous too, funny how just a little bit more chestage can cause such calamity.
I'm thinking about...pizza. Mmmm.
Quote from: Shantel on August 05, 2014, 12:17:53 PM
Sounds like another buddy of mine had a ->-bleeped-<-ty day, I hope you corrected the misgendering dingbat!
I didn't correct her. All my coworkers know I am male and I am stealth at work, so at some point, they will look at her like "WTF" and correct her for me.
I moved my injection to Thursday and took a nap instead. Not ideal but I just wouldn't make it through this day otherwise.
Quote from: kdbrrw on August 05, 2014, 12:59:16 PM
I'm thinking about...pizza. Mmmm.
I had pizza with a few people yesterday. It was free and pretty good for delivery pizza. (Little Ceaser's)
Already having second thoughts....
Now I'm thinking about pizza again. The best pizza I ever had was in a little pizzeria off of the fontana di trevi in Rome. Damn now I want to go back just for the food :laugh:
Quote from: Eris on August 05, 2014, 02:07:19 PM
Now I'm thinking about pizza again. The best pizza I ever had was in a little pizzeria off of the fontana di trevi in Rome. Damn now I want to go back just for the food :laugh:
Maybe they deliver. Just be prepared to offer one extremely large tip
Quote from: King Malachite on August 04, 2014, 09:42:14 PM
I wonder if I should buy a fake beard to curb my lack-of-facial-hair dysphoria.
I was wondering if that black dye used to improve laser hair removal might properly simulate beard shadow.
Ok, time to pee and walk the dogs. Although... they are sleeping so hmmm...
Quote from: christopher on August 05, 2014, 09:32:56 PM
Ok, time to pee and walk the dogs. Although... they are sleeping so hmmm...
One should always let sleeping dogs lie
Quote from: immortal gypsy on August 05, 2014, 09:40:54 PM
One should always let sleeping dogs lie
Exactly. My dog has his girlfriend over so they have tired themselves out. I've decided to draw instead of walking them.
How are you today Gyspy?
Gypsy is not sure right now Christopher,
Was just told by my soon to be former boss in the city it isn't practical to have me in one day a week. So I need to find a shift elsewhere, but I do have the contacts and he is asking around also. So we'll see, I'm starting at my new location soon but the extra hours, money and change of scenery now and then would be nice.
Quote from: Dee Walker on August 05, 2014, 03:00:31 PM
I was wondering if that black dye used to improve laser hair removal might properly simulate beard shadow.
Heh, that would be interesting.
I'm thinking about how my co-worker is a D-bag. If I had to choose between marrying her or being celibacy for the rest of my life, I would choose celibacy. If I had to guess, she has a miserable life, despite the act she puts on, and I can't blame her (for having a miserable life that is).
That I will never hire family to work for me again. Simply just a pain in the ass. Thinking by the end of the week my cousin and I will not be on speaking terms.
I work late again tomorrow night. I'm very thankful for the extra hours as I need all the hours I can get, but aside from the extra money, I'm not going to be too butt-hurt about having to work there late and having the boss watch my every move on camera. I'd rather just let the NSA do that from the comfort of my own home. School is about to start back so I know my hours will be drastically cut. My co-worker is actually talking about buying the place because according to her, he wants to sell it. She is strutting around acting like she owns the place. She has already made it clear that if she gets this place, she's not going to keep me. She's only going to "contract" me out for something like wearing the bunny suit for birthdays for $10. I'm slowly starting to dislike her (and not because of what I just said, she has an attitude problem and is bossy and controlling). Something tells me she's going to flake out and not going to buy it, but regardless, if what she says is true, then he is still going to sell it. If she got that place, I wouldn't want to work for her anyways. If I wouldn't take her as my wife, then I CERTAINLY won't have her being my boss. No....just....no....
Well poo, Gypsy, that's too bad
I just spent the evening drawing. not good for my neck but I sure had fun :D I love charcoal. I love that I can actually draw and I was just told lies over and over and now I know better. I love drawing from what's I feel and not having to look at anything. ... ok, I got the basic idea from looking at a drawing but then it was all mine and I went where I wanted
good thoughts and now it's time to go to bed.
Quote from: King Malachite on August 06, 2014, 12:23:03 AM
She's only going to "contract" me out for something like wearing the bunny suit for birthdays for $10. I'm slowly starting to dislike her (and not because of what I just said, she has an attitude problem and is bossy and controlling).
I wear bunny suits for free for Easter Seals, and at every retail or food service or temp job I ever had, when there was an opportunity to sweat in a stupid costume and wave at people and take pictures with children, I jumped at it. I don't know how you could turn down that experience, especially for ten dollars an hour.
I'm thinking about tobacco. I've been wanting it lately, and the level of want is a bad sign so I'm not buying prerolls or rolling papers just yet. I do have some loose shredded tobacco and a pipe that a glass blower gave me years ago, but I'm a dirty-looks magnet if I use that thing on my front porch. :laugh:
Quote from: Felix on August 06, 2014, 01:00:00 AM
I wear bunny suits for free for Easter Seals, and at every retail or food service or temp job I ever had, when there was an opportunity to sweat in a stupid costume and wave at people and take pictures with children, I jumped at it. I don't know how you could turn down that experience, especially for ten dollars an hour.
My writings were all over the place so my thoughts didn't accurately reflect my post. I love wearing it for birthday parties and wore it this past Sunday and would probably do it for free since it's "cosplaying" essentially so for $10, I'd definitely jump on that. It doesn't happen often though as one has to book a birthday party beforehand if they want the bunny to come out, and we don't get many birthday parties booked.
I miss Nero a lot. :'(
Quote from: King Malachite on August 06, 2014, 01:09:56 AM
My writings were all over the place so my thoughts didn't accurately reflect my post. I love wearing it for birthday parties and wore it this past Sunday and would probably do it for free since it's "cosplaying" essentially so for $10, I'd definitely jump on that. It doesn't happen often though as one has to book a birthday party beforehand if they want the bunny to come out, and we don't get many birthday parties booked.
Okay yeah sorry, your dislike for the person in question is obviously for good reasons that go beyond that one thing, but I was just kinda omg bunny suit and homed in on that.
Quote from: Jill F on August 06, 2014, 01:50:50 AM
I miss Nero a lot. :'(
It hasn't been very long. I keep expecting him to answer questions and make new threads and stuff. :-\
I found out that a former friend who was a complete dick to me was hit by a car, in a coma for five months, and is now paralyzed.
I am trying to steel myself up to take my t shot. Does anyone else have trouble actually getting it through the skin. Like not just nerves, but physically having trouble getting it in no matter how fast one tries to do it?
Quote from: Jill F on August 06, 2014, 01:50:50 AM
I miss Nero a lot. :'(
I really miss the particular perspective he had on a lot of things. I only talked to him once on the phone, but I was hoping to make the 3 or 4 hour drive this fall to go have coffee or lunch with him. He is definitely missed and I still think about him a lot.
Quote from: Jaime R D on August 06, 2014, 06:30:06 PM
I really miss the particular perspective he had on a lot of things. I only talked to him once on the phone, but I was hoping to make the 3 or 4 hour drive this fall to go have coffee or lunch with him. He is definitely missed and I still think about him a lot.
Me too, we had a nice phone chat for about an hour a week before he died. I tried to cheer him up, but had the feeling that he was listening with his ears but not with his heart, he was morbidly depressed.
All I can think of is that you lot have me craving pizza while broke. Jerks :p
But seriously, watching MasterChef Australia and as usual loving exposure to other cultures and foods I've never heard of. May be part of how I was raised or being from a military family, I just love seeing how other people live, cook, and view life. It's absolutely fascinating to me.
I had all these thoughts in my head that I was going to write down when I got home since I wasn't able to at the time. Now I'm home and I can't remember what the thoughts were.
I do believe in fate in a way, but it's hard to explain. I believe our fate is exactly what we choose anyway.
I kind of look at it like a story. We are characters in this story and we all have roles to play. However, these roles are exactly who are meant to be and who we choose to be because it's in our very nature to play these roles. By nature I don't necessarily mean solely by birth since other people's roles and events in our individual stories affect us, but I mean like... I choose the role I play, but at the same time, the reason I choose it is because I feel it is the role I was meant to play. It's the role I love to play. I can't describe how amazing a feeling it is for me.
I probably made no sense.
I know the concept of fate and roles sounds more a trap or cage, but I don't mean it that way. To me, it feels freeing because I feel like I am free to be who I am because who I am is who I am meant to be. If that makes sense.
As for what I mean by role, my role is mine and mine alone because it is specifically mine. It's my path and no one else's.
not thinking anything
Debating if I should shave my beard. It's sort of ugly. But I want to be able to shave out a goatee and I hate doing it with not enoguh hair, it makes it look like I missed a spot.
I think the flexoral evened out my mood a bit. sort of. I really hate the flexoral. Fortunately I rarely need it.
I have been eating nothing but crap these past three days a.k.a pizza and other not-so-healthy stuff. That's changing today as my body now needs to filter that crap out. These 3 days just happen to be when I had pizza under not-so-normal circumstances. Those circumstances should be out of the way now.
Wonder how Alainaluvsyou is doing...
Quote from: Evelyn K on August 08, 2014, 05:49:51 AM
Wonder how Alainaluvsyou is doing...
I was just now wondering the same.
not sure what to do with myself today
also thinking maybe I should figure out a day to go to ingorsoll (spelled wrong) with shantel
Quote from: christopher on August 08, 2014, 11:23:32 AM
not sure what to do with myself today
also thinking maybe I should figure out a day to go to ingorsoll (spelled wrong) with shantel
Let me know, give me a weeks lead time and we'll do it Christopher.
Quote from: jamienicoled on August 08, 2014, 12:12:22 PM
Thinking: Why's it take so long to cross Pa? ....the other side l-O.O-ks so close on a map?...lol So here I sit, riding in the car, playing on this stupid phone... instead of sitting on the beach. *sigh. Are we there yet?? >:(
Hope you brought your sunblock hon, we only have one skin and we don't want it to get too leathery. Love the new avatar photo!
Why do people think the beach is go great? Its sand and salty water. Sand gets into everything and salt makes you all icky and mucks with your hair. I wouldn't mind going to the mountains though, see something that isn't so damned flat...
I'm hoping that the rain holds off until I get to the bank and back home. I need laundry money.
I'm thinking that this weekend is "no gaff, no push up bra weekend".
I'm dead.
Quote from: Jaime R D on August 08, 2014, 12:29:06 PM
Why do people think the beach is go great? Its sand and salty water. Sand gets into everything and salt makes you all icky and mucks with your hair. I wouldn't mind going to the mountains though, see something that isn't so damned flat...
Correction: salty water
and pee. And moskitoes, and pervers, and sunburns, and thieves, and people that doesn't know hot to dress appropiately, and overpriced everything... And more sand mixed with cigarette butts..
Last time I went to the mountains, or a place close to them, all of my photos required editing out the trash and diapers. Humans should not be allowed outside cities without passing an exam.
Quote from: Jaime R D on August 08, 2014, 12:29:06 PM
Why do people think the beach is go great? Its sand and salty water. Sand gets into everything and salt makes you all icky and mucks with your hair. I wouldn't mind going to the mountains though, see something that isn't so damned flat...
Well I suppose it's because you live close to the beach!
How's the new job coming along, did they give you a suitable raise?
Quote from: Julia (Apple-Whatever) on August 08, 2014, 12:36:52 PM
Correction: salty water and pee. And moskitoes, and pervers, and sunburns, and thieves, and people that doesn't know hot to dress appropiately, and overpriced everything... And more sand mixed with cigarette butts..
Last time I went to the mountains, or a place close to them, all of my photos required editing out the trash and diapers. Humans should not be allowed outside cities without passing an exam.
Righto there! They also shouldn't be allowed to drive on a freeway without a special freeway driving endorsement on their driver's license!
Quote from: Shantel on August 08, 2014, 12:38:15 PM
Well I suppose it's because you live close to the beach!
How's the new job coming along, did they give you a suitable raise?
I haven't been on the sand in a couple years even though I'm right on the coast.
And I get a little raise, a bit of a bonus based on store performance and a lot more headaches. We'll have to see how it goes.
Oh and I have two supervisors on my fb now too. A good thing they are about as crazy as I am.
Quote from: Jaime R D on August 08, 2014, 12:42:33 PM
I haven't been on the sand in a couple years even though I'm right on the coast.
And I get a little raise, a bit of a bonus based on store performance and a lot more headaches. We'll have to see how it goes.
Oh and I have two supervisors on my fb now too. A good thing they are about as crazy as I am.
Sounds positive so far!
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 08, 2014, 01:48:50 PM
I was a real idiot this morning and am lucky I didn't get hurt. I was at somebody's farm to do sheep stuff, they weren't home, and I wasn't familiar with their animals. And I wandered around in a field I knew had a ram in it. Looking for him. I didn't know his disposition or even how big he is. He was back in a corner where I didn't find him, and he missed me too, which is very lucky or I could be laid up with a broken leg right now. Turns out he is so aggressive as to be completely unworkable and highly dangerous. Gee, if only I had spent much of my life around evil rams and knew better. Oh, I have? Huh.
Scary stuff! I recall not long ago where a male hiker was killed by a big ram up on the Olympic Mountains not far from me.
Quote from: Shantel on August 08, 2014, 12:41:24 PM
Righto there! They also shouldn't be allowed to drive on a freeway without a special freeway driving endorsement on their driver's license!
Are you crazy?
That's not good enough.
All humans should be locked inside massive mega-cities and never allowed out of them!
Quote from: Julia (Apple-Whatever) on August 08, 2014, 12:36:52 PM
Correction: salty water and pee. And moskitoes, and pervers, and sunburns, and thieves, and people that doesn't know hot to dress appropiately, and overpriced everything... And more sand mixed with cigarette butts..
Last time I went to the mountains, or a place close to them, all of my photos required editing out the trash and diapers. Humans should not be allowed outside cities without passing an exam.
I live on a pretty clean section of coast. Its not overly built up like a lot of places. And the beaches I usually would go to are on an island where the only way there is by small ferry or boat, pretty limited access and part of a national park.
It's only 68 degrees right now.....IN AUGUST!! I have the air conditioning off and the windows open. This is pretty sweet.
What do I want for dinner? I should take some advil.
Quote from: christopher on August 08, 2014, 07:46:30 PM
What do I want for dinner?
May I suggest something edible
Quote from: immortal gypsy on August 08, 2014, 08:17:40 PM
May I suggest something edible
Technically Advil is edible lol.
I'm thinking about saving for surgery. I feel like I have been overbooking myself in terms of work, and forgetting that my time is, in fact, valuable too. I think part of the problem is at one job, I don't have steady hours and a part of me fears that if I don't take the hours now, a time will come later when they hire regular staff to fill them and I will be coming up short.
It also makes me think kind of philosophically...ish. Prior to this, it was "gotta save for the car as fast as I can!" Now that I achieved that, it's "gotta save for the surgery as soon as I can!" After that it will be "gotta save to move as soon as I can!" After that, it will be "gotta save for a house and bottom surgery as soon as I can!" I guess I'm ending up feeling like I can never get ahead, because there is always something. But if there is always something...maybe rather than being a reason to go full speed ahead and work too much, perhaps it is actually a reason to just slow down and take it at a steadier pace.
How do cheesy bands that remind me of 1970's Chester the molester mustache and finger pistil guys still make it onto the television?
Quote from: V M on August 09, 2014, 12:46:25 AM
How do cheesy bands that remind me of 1970's Chester the molester mustache and finger pistil guys still make it onto the television?
I didn't know there were still bands on television.
My cat is getting vaccinated tomorrow, so I'm thinking strategy.
Looked in the mirror today and saw a not too homely old broad looking back at me, not too bad though, could have been much worse and been an old geezer instead. :D
I feel bad for thinking this, but I kind of wish I wasn't going to my grandma's tonight. Another night, sure, but I worked last night, just woke up, and have to go work another night shift. I sort of wanted the day to myself...and even if I had it to myself it would still involve working on my thesis. I don't even get my usual Monday off this week.
I got part of my Christmas shopping done today and already got both of my sister's birthday gifts. I got their Christmas gifts as well. The way I see it, I can either cry at Christmas time or cry now. Since I actually have a job now, I choose to get my crying out of the way. That way when Christmas rolls around, I can first be like "oooooh nooo Christmas! So much money I have to spend." but then I can be like "oh wait, I already got half of my shopping done" with a big smile on my face. I'll admit though, it did take the fun out of the Christmas rush and standing in long lines seeing other people getting their Christmas gifts. Oh well, if I (or they) live long enough and have the funds, then there will always be next year.
So far I have spent $50 on birthday/Christmas gifts. Let the crying begin.
I just realized that the oldest sister is getting $10 from me on her birthday. Wow, how did I miss that. It's not quite fair to the other sister, but oh well.
something is wrong
Augh driving is so scary. :'( I am improving quite quickly though.
You are learning to drive? Cool beans!
I think I'll soak in the bath in a bit.
I am but it is so horrifying lol
heh. Learning sucks but you will get there.
eye injuries suck.
My work schedule is the same again for the next week.....meaning I would have gone a month without a day off by then.....and I go in today. Well, I need the money, especially after I did half of my CHristmas and Birthday shopping, and after that the kdis are back in school so I won't be making as much money so I can grin and bear it for one more week.
That amazing moment at work when I call an old woman and she says, "you're not the one who called me before [from my company]", and I say, "no, likely not, we are many who are calling but we've called you" and she says "no, it wasn't you who called, it was a girl". I guess that means I always pass on the phone now? Awesome.
I feel kind of weird and I don't know what to make of it. I feel soft. That's the best word I can come up with for it. It's kind of odd because (no matter how I act), I'm used to feeling rough, cold, and tempestuous. I still feel those things, but it's like they're deeper below the surface under, well, this softness. I'm not entirely sure I like it since it's kind of emasculating and considerably calmer from what I associate with myself.
I hope that I have enough ink to print out the latest fanfic. It's looking like it will be five parts and it's not even finished yet. Plus, I don't have the money to buy another cartridge right now and it would really annoy me if I had to wait on a replacement.
I am about to do something stupid.. no wait, I'm in the process of doing something stupid.
Quote from: christopher on August 10, 2014, 10:21:33 PM
I am about to do something stupid.. no wait, I'm in the process of doing something stupid.
I am curious about what this stupid thing is.
Quote from: Edge on August 10, 2014, 10:23:03 PM
I am curious about what this stupid thing is.
I probably should say here. I probably shouldn't have brought it up. maybe.
Be safe Christopher
Quote from: Shantel on August 10, 2014, 09:21:07 AM
Ok what happened?
I got a chair leg in my eyeball. Light hurts and my vision is coming back.
Quote from: LordKAT on August 11, 2014, 09:09:49 AM
I got a chair leg in my eyeball. Light hurts and my vision is coming back.
Poor baby, you're going to have to give up bar brawling!
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 11, 2014, 11:43:52 AM
Just finished my final exam for summer class 8) Would be surprised if I get less than 98% 8) 8)
You must have done your homework and it's paying off now, good going!
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 11, 2014, 11:43:52 AM
Just finished my final exam for summer class 8) Would be surprised if I get less than 98% 8) 8)
Woot!
Quote from: LordKAT on August 11, 2014, 09:09:49 AM
I got a chair leg in my eyeball. Light hurts and my vision is coming back.
I can understand a hair, a speck, a splinter, a wire flying off a spinning wire wheel when some idiot isn't wearing safety glasses like they should(like me a number of years ago) or something similar, but a chair leg?
Alainaluvsyou hasn't checked in. Anyone know how she's doing?
Quote from: Evelyn K on August 11, 2014, 04:49:52 PM
Alainaluvsyou hasn't checked in. Anyone know how she's doing?
$64,000.00 question!
Thinking about how I'll maintain a job once I start taking T, that thing doesn't work overnight.
Quote from: Neospector on August 11, 2014, 05:14:55 PM
Thinking about how I'll maintain a job once I start taking T, that thing doesn't work overnight.
No it doesn't affect your female appearance right away, but your voice will drop into a lower register pretty quickly and you will get some facial and body hair a little bit here and there, and lots of zits. Probably no-one other than yourself will notice much initially anyway.
I just read on Yahoo that Robin Williams killed himself.
Woah.....that's crazy.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on August 11, 2014, 06:14:02 PM
I just read on Yahoo that Robin Williams killed himself.
Woah.....that's crazy.
That's a real shame! He was very talented although he was unable to quit joking when most comedians would shut up and have a normal conversation, this led me to believe that he had serious emotional problems and possibly really didn't know who he really was as a person.
I'm bummed out. I'm in the hotel for 1 night and Caleb wont be talking with me tonight. I take my retest tomorrow afternoon. I'm pretty nervous. On top of that, my Father-in-law is in hospital. It could be cancer. And, one of my Sister-in-law' is in hospital too. Only she is going to make me an Auntie again.
Quote from: LordKAT on August 11, 2014, 09:09:49 AM
I got a chair leg in my eyeball. Light hurts and my vision is coming back.
umm.... how does that happen?
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 11, 2014, 11:43:52 AM
Just finished my final exam for summer class 8) Would be surprised if I get less than 98% 8) 8)
Sounds like you've been working hard. Now you get to kick back and enjoy what you earned/
Quote from: V M on August 10, 2014, 10:40:54 PM
Be safe Christopher
Thanks for this.
Come on guy, just show up. Or call and say what's going on. This is ridiculous.
A cold winter day + A/C comming in from next door + A short sleved uniform = A very long shift today
Quote from: Shantel on August 11, 2014, 05:18:54 PM
No it doesn't affect your female appearance right away, but your voice will drop into a lower register pretty quickly and you will get some facial and body hair a little bit here and there, and lots of zits. Probably no-one other than yourself will notice much initially anyway.
Yeah I know and I'm scared I'll lose my job if I get one presenting as female and transition a few months afterwards. :(
I don't really feel like I can trust much of anybody, oh well, some folks are good for their word, others not so much
Sometimes life is kind of a craps shoot of sorts
Quote from: V M on August 12, 2014, 09:09:40 AM
I don't really feel like I can trust much of anybody, oh well, some folks are good for their word, others not so much
Sometimes life is kind of a craps shoot of sorts
You can trust me though honey, just relax! >:-)
My mom just had me buy her a wig on Ebay from China. I hope she likes it. I like getting stuff from China there.
I'm officially overwhelmed
I'm thinking a bunch of confusing things that I'm trying to put into words.
Thinking about the job interview I just had, I really got a good feeling about this one.
Quote from: Neospector on August 12, 2014, 01:47:48 PM
Thinking about the job interview I just had, I really got a good feeling about this one.
Fingers crossed!
Had a crazy but awesome two days.
I'm wondering what it means when a girl calls you "sweet." I can see it being like "aaah...ha...you're so sweet (get away from me ew)" or like "you're actually sweet and I like you in a special way." It wasn't verbally said, it was written in a post it but she's said it in email too. Not that I care as I wouldn't return the feelings but I am super curious. I was trying to see if she was looking at me any differently than other guys too, but it was hard to tell because she's the same with everyone.
One of the girls I was uncomfortable with at work has become a closer friend, too. I just had to get to know her a bit better, she's actually quite nice, she just has a strong personality and you've got to know how to take her.
Quote from: birkin on August 12, 2014, 07:28:24 PM
Had a crazy but awesome two days.
I'm wondering what it means when a girl calls you "sweet." I can see it being like "aaah...ha...you're so sweet (get away from me ew)" or like "you're actually sweet and I like you in a special way." It wasn't verbally said, it was written in a post it but she's said it in email too. Not that I care as I wouldn't return the feelings but I am super curious. I was trying to see if she was looking at me any differently than other guys too, but it was hard to tell because she's the same with everyone.
One of the girls I was uncomfortable with at work has become a closer friend, too. I just had to get to know her a bit better, she's actually quite nice, she just has a strong personality and you've got to know how to take her.
Think you'll have to observe her for awhile just like you did with the other gal you were initially unsure about. She'll eventually reveal more about her intent based on her personality. I get called "love' by a couple of British gals, not that they love me, it's just their friendly way of addressing someone they approve of.
Well. what throws me off is that she has a bf but I know nothing about him so for all I know they are unhappy. I am just curious because one time she was unusually flustered around me, but hasn't been so since.
Quote from: birkin on August 12, 2014, 08:45:50 PM
Well. what throws me off is that she has a bf but I know nothing about him so for all I know they are unhappy. I am just curious because one time she was unusually flustered around me, but hasn't been so since.
Time will tell!
I need to go back to selling things on Craigslist and Facebook groups to save for top surgery faster.
My last shift in the city is this Thursday night before I move to the new site permanently. Four times this week I've come close to crying, I so want this week to end now yet never end at all. All at the same time I am so not looking forward to my last shift tomorrow night
maybe I will sleep tonight?
screw being awake. i just want to sleep hahaha
Hello brianna hope you get good news tomorrow with the job interview. Now I must say goodbye for I'm about to start work. Blah
Hope you get to sleep soon Christopher. Pleasant dreams when you do
hi hi from the clouds lol. i went space cadet. oh how i miss the sky :( wish i had wings so i can get off this rotten ground. i feel chained heavy
How did we manage to create the ideal conditions for ISIS?
Why is it important to be validated by another person? Surely this should not be necessary.
Quote from: Aisla on August 13, 2014, 02:34:20 AM
How did we manage to create the ideal conditions for ISIS?
I won't go there, but we all know that it begins with the word feckless!
Quote from: Aisla on August 13, 2014, 02:35:12 AM
Why is it important to be validated by another person? Surely this should not be necessary.
It's not for me and it shouldn't be for you!
Wondering if I'm going to get hired over this other candidate and get that phone call saying so tonight since that's when their decision will be made. It's amazing how simply saying that my older brother is a chiropractor (this job is at a chiropractor center) and saying some things that I learned from him can open doors to a decent job. That must have been it because as soon as I walked into the room to start the 2nd interview, that was the first thing the office manager asked.
Congrats Neospector! I knew you'd start getting some breaks sooner or later. ;D Rock on dude.
Quote from: birkin on August 13, 2014, 01:20:25 PM
Congrats Neospector! I knew you'd start getting some breaks sooner or later. ;D Rock on dude.
Thanks man. I was almost ready to give up.
Assuming I land the job, my next concern is....transitioning on the job.
Once you're in it's generally not too bad.
Quote from: birkin on August 13, 2014, 01:26:53 PM
Once you're in it's generally not too bad.
I'd imagine it not to be but I made sure not to mention this at all in the interview. This receptionist job seems amazing and it's only 3 times a week but I'm SUPER scared I'll get fired if I come out with the transition stuff. I can't hide that forever due to the nature of voice getting deeper and my face changing around.
I think that was a good decision, I find that people tend to sometimes get overwhelmed if you mention the transition early in because they don't know you and then they struggle to find ways to relate to you in light on this new information. It sucks but sometimes when someone's first impression of you is "the transgender person" they forget that you're an actual person with other aspects to who you are. I think that if, in the time where you stay in the closet, you develop a good reputation at the job, your coming out will be a non-issue.
Quote from: birkin on August 13, 2014, 01:36:53 PM
I think that was a good decision, I find that people tend to sometimes get overwhelmed if you mention the transition early in because they don't know you and then they struggle to find ways to relate to you in light on this new information. It sucks but sometimes when someone's first impression of you is "the transgender person" they forget that you're an actual person with other aspects to who you are. I think that if, in the time where you stay in the closet, you develop a good reputation at the job, your coming out will be a non-issue.
Right. I don't transition until October anyways so I got time to build that. :D
TMI probably but I really need to be concentrating on my thesis and all I can think about is sex. I'm becoming unglued.
Quote from: birkin on August 13, 2014, 05:53:57 PM
TMI probably but I really need to be concentrating on my thesis and all I can think about is sex. I'm becoming unglued.
called being a man xD something must of happened to trigger it though lol
Quote from: birkin on August 13, 2014, 05:53:57 PM
TMI probably but I really need to be concentrating on my thesis and all I can think about is sex. I'm becoming unglued.
GET BACK INTO WORKING ON YOUR THESIS, MISTER. :police:
Well, I really don't get very strong urges in that department often. lol
Lying in bed and i am wayyyyyyyyyyy too hot have stripped off and opened all the windows and i am still boiling... its not even hot i live in the UK lol
OK so 20 pages of notes have gone missing. No big right? augh
I'm so glad tonight was the last night I worked the night shift for this week. It seems like every time I work night, something bad happens or I screw up something, and tonight was no different.
I've just realized. This job and my last two I have given notice that I'm leaving, and I have still left earlier by my choice. This will be my third venue in four years. I'm not a job hopper just a umm gypsy
In some weird way, when I go to one of my jobs I feel like I've gone home. Obviously I can't relax in the same way, but I feel like I'm amongst a family of sorts. I come in and see familiar faces in the people I care for, and once I get to know my coworkers you get kind of this nice little camaraderie fairly quickly. That's probably one of the reasons why I don't mind working as many hours as I do.
Why do the spirits of Bruce Willis and Clint Eastwood keep trying to have their way with my female wired mind?
do I want chocolate? corona? both? neither? decisions...
Quote from: Jaime R D on August 11, 2014, 04:16:35 PM
I can understand a hair, a speck, a splinter, a wire flying off a spinning wire wheel when some idiot isn't wearing safety glasses like they should(like me a number of years ago) or something similar, but a chair leg?
My job required me to wash the bottom of a chair. It was on my lap and slid sideways, knocking off my glasses and hitting me in the eye. A story so strange that it must be true?
Quote from: V M on August 12, 2014, 09:09:40 AM
Sometimes Often life is kind of a craps shoot of sorts
fixed
It's Friday night and I'm exhausted and need to go shopping.
Need to see a Doctor when feeling below par. After 3 weeks of low energy, poor concentration, an irritating cough and continual complaints re the office being too warm .. Found out that I have a high temp and a highly contagious chest infection. Antibiotics working after 2 days. Last time I did this I ended up in hospital with pneumonia. Need to work on basic learning skills.
Quote from: Aisla on August 15, 2014, 10:21:46 AM
Need to see a Doctor when feeling below par. After 3 weeks of low energy, poor concentration, an irritating cough and continual complaints re the office being too warm .. Found out that I have a high temp and a highly contagious chest infection. Antibiotics working after 2 days. Last time I did this I ended up in hospital with pneumonia. Need to work on basic learning skills.
Not fun, get well hon! Got a similar thing going on with swollen neck glands the last two months and shortness of breath and it isn't even deer rutting season yet. ;D I have an appointment coming up.
Thanks Shan. Better see if there are deer loose in Sydney. Are they 2 legged with long tails and pack a mean punch? :D
Quote from: Aisla on August 15, 2014, 10:30:00 AM
Thanks Shan. Better see if there are deer loose in Sydney. Are they 2 legged with long tails and pack a mean punch? :D
Not so far? Is Roo meat good to eat? I'm pretty ignorant about those critters!
Very lean, tasty if not over cooked. Problem is that it tends to hop off the plate.
Quote from: Aisla on August 15, 2014, 10:45:10 AM
Very lean, tasty if not over cooked. Problem is that it tends to hop off the plate.
:D Frog legs do too!
Writing is rewriting *sigh*
From time to time people will come up to me at my job and ask if I have change for a dollar to buy something out of the bubblegum machine. The way our system is set up, we only take $5 with no tax so the only time we have change (or quarters in particular) is when a customer gives them to me, which doesn't happen all the time (when it does happen, I'm glad to get rid of them because it's more convenient to have dollars than quarters). However, I have some quarters in my change jar/top surgery change so I'm probably going to back them up in a ziplock back so when customers ask me for change, I can give it to them out of my personal stock. That way, we both are happy. They are getting their quarters for gum or whatever cheap toy they want, and I'm getting my coins swapped out. I just hope this doesn't backfire on me and the boss thinks I'm stealing from him. If he asks, I will just explain and hopefully the camera will show that I didn't take any money from him.
Just to avoid a potential misunderstanding, I would mention this to the boss. Shouldn't be an issue, but you can never be too careful. Innocent actions can be misinterpreted or just wilfully mischaracterised
Quote from: Aisla on August 15, 2014, 07:31:52 PM
Just to avoid a potential misunderstanding, I would mention this to the boss. Shouldn't be an issue, but you can never be too careful. Innocent actions can be misinterpreted or just wilfully mischaracterised
That's a good idea. Now that I think about it, it might not be too great of an idea, because I can imagine him saying not to do that. He has been fine with me in the past taking bank change home to swap out the 20's and replace them with change from my personal storage, so maybe he would be cool with it, but since it's not directly affecting him, idk.
It is a difficult call if you still wish to do this. Perhaps you tell him that you do this as a customer service and that it doesn't disrupt your work. ...
Quote from: Aisla on August 15, 2014, 07:52:27 PM
It is a difficult call if you still wish to do this. Perhaps you tell him that you do this as a customer service and that it doesn't disrupt your work. ...
That's great thinking! I feel bad when I have to tell them I don't have any because they probably think I'm lying. Plus, there isn't many food places in our mall that will give out change. Chick Fila used to, but they stopped recently and the change machine is broken.
I had to get the two, huge fir trees that were really close to my house cut down. I feel like I've lost a couple of friends. It's silly how sad I am over this.
I'm also wondering that if I can successful present as male how much differently will I get treated in the rental place.
I'm wondering what to wear to the Pride parade tomorrow: goth pants and a Bodom shirt which would show my metalhead personality, but make me look for feminine or button up shirt and jeans which would make me look more masculine, but show less of my personality and look a little odd since I have long hair?
show your personality.
I really need to sleep... without nightmares.
I'm wondering what Edge wore.
I'm also thinking that I want to be is a positive person and give a lot of support here. Right now, I don't feel like I'm succeeding at that. This place has become very special to me and I think there are some amazing, inspiring, fun, interesting people here. There are people who I'd like to know more. There are people who I ache for as I read their struggles. I haven't been commenting much. I'm sort of low on words but I hope you all know that I care. I wish I had the right words or could send me feelings of friendship and empathy through the computer (heh).
I also wish I was a little better at opening up. I wish I worried about being "whiny' or "dramatic". I wish I could feel safer posting on a public forum. But really, there's not a lot to say except I'm struggling some. PTSD sort of sucks :P
Quote from: christopher on August 16, 2014, 07:34:52 PM
I'm wondering what Edge wore.
I'm also thinking that I want to be is a positive person and give a lot of support here. Right now, I don't feel like I'm succeeding at that. This place has become very special to me and I think there are some amazing, inspiring, fun, interesting people here. There are people who I'd like to know more. There are people who I ache for as I read their struggles. I haven't been commenting much. I'm sort of low on words but I hope you all know that I care. I wish I had the right words or could send me feelings of friendship and empathy through the computer (heh).
I also wish I was a little better at opening up. I wish I worried about being "whiny' or "dramatic". I wish I could feel safer posting on a public forum. But really, there's not a lot to say except I'm struggling some. PTSD sort of sucks :P
It's OK Christopher, you are uniquely you and a part of the family here, want you to know that you count and are well liked here.
Thinking about quitting one job and keeping the other. If I am perfectly honest, I am only keeping it because deep down, I feel deeply inadequate and am afraid to be fired at the job that I do love. Like I have this good thing and I am scared to lose it. But, if I quit the job I hate, I can dedicate more to the job I love.
I can't say that I want to be a person who is held back by fear. And I've never been a head over heart person. I've always chosen to follow my heart and my heart is with this agency, not at the second.
Quote from: christopher on August 16, 2014, 07:34:52 PM
I'm wondering what Edge wore.
My Children of Bodom shirt and jeans.
Take your time, Christopher. If it helps any, there are a few other people suffering from PTSD and related illnesses here. We understand how scary it is. If you don't feel like opening up, that's fine. If and when you decide to, we'll be here with cyber hugs and support. I can't speak for everyone, but I'm pretty sure other people agree with me. We know you care and we care about you too.
I've been thinking about my religion a lot. It seems kind of weird to say that. Like I still don't really understand why I have a religion. I'm glad I do though and I'm glad I have the one I do.
Quote from: birkin on August 16, 2014, 08:00:39 PM
Thinking about quitting one job and keeping the other. If I am perfectly honest, I am only keeping it because deep down, I feel deeply inadequate and am afraid to be fired at the job that I do love. Like I have this good thing and I am scared to lose it. But, if I quit the job I hate, I can dedicate more to the job I love.
I can't say that I want to be a person who is held back by fear. And I've never been a head over heart person. I've always chosen to follow my heart and my heart is with this agency, not at the second.
Tell them how you feel Caleb! Having been a worker bee at one time I can attest to the fact that they don't fire slaves, if you're doing well they won't fire you, if you are dead wood then that's a possibility.
I'm thinking how I'm excited to see that Edge has a chest fixing fund and I can't wait to see it increase! :)
Thanks! I was inspired by you.
Quote from: Edge on August 16, 2014, 08:28:49 PM
Thanks! I was inspired by you.
Nice! I hope it increases at faster rate than mine though. :D
thank you shantel and edge. I appreciate it.
malachite, your chest fundraising is inspiring. if I was rich I would totally pay for your chest surgery
Awwww thanks, Christopher! That would have been a nice gesture. :) I seriously wish I was rich so I was able to fund every guy's top surgery.
Quote from: Shantel on August 16, 2014, 08:06:06 PM
Tell them how you feel Caleb! Having been a worker bee at one time I can attest to the fact that they don't fire slaves, if you're doing well they won't fire you, if you are dead wood then that's a possibility.
I was nervous already but they recently canned some folks who worked quite often. So that doesn't help my anxieties lol.
My debate now is whether or not I want to take regular shifts, given that I will be quitting the one job and losing guaranteed hours. I have to be careful because once you sign up for regular, you lose choice in which clients you work for. There's some I can work with in small doses but would be too challenging on a regular basis.
Liam- that's funny. I wonder, are sheep as loud goats when giving birth?
I am wondering how K will be at work today. Will she be flaky?
I wonder if making rap lyrics about transgender people and their hardships would be awesome...
Quote from: Neospector on August 17, 2014, 04:17:30 PM
I wonder if making rap lyrics about transgender people and their hardships would be awesome...
And I'm thinking that that sounds absolutely awesome!!! I really hope somebody with talent eventually does that, I'd listen to it all day!
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 17, 2014, 10:06:05 AM
Sheep have an extremely high pain tolerance, and goats have a very low pain tolerance. Most of the time my sheep cry out maybe once or twice in the very worst contractions, or not at all. They make a lot more noise after the fact, because they're very vocal toward the babies, making low, rumbling mommy noises to them.
I was thinking that I was sheep-like in my baby experience, but now I have that cake song in my head -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzKUzRJUzQ0
My patience is being tested today. I guess it was bound to happen at some point. This one guy is just acting like such a belligerent jackass.
*sigh* it comes with the territory but I have been here for 48 hours.
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 17, 2014, 10:06:05 AM
Sheep have an extremely high pain tolerance, and goats have a very low pain tolerance. Most of the time my sheep cry out maybe once or twice in the very worst contractions, or not at all. They make a lot more noise after the fact, because they're very vocal toward the babies, making low, rumbling mommy noises to them.
Cool to know. My friend had a farm I used to help on. She mostly had goats. a few pot-bellied pigs because those were big then, and the usual assortment of farm animals. The first time I helped with a goat birthing I was a bit shocked and how freaking loud the goats were while giving birth. Of all the farm animals I've probably spent the least amount of time with sheep... well and not much time around llamas. My least favorite are pigs.
hahahaha thanks felix for the song. I liked the goats though.
what did I originally come here to think? it's gone. oooooooooooooooh wait. so this week I'm the manager which means I don't have to wear my uniform. totally great. my uniform makes me feel so much more dysphoric than my own clothes. Yay.
Quote from: christopher on August 18, 2014, 01:06:53 AM
what did I originally come here to think? it's gone. oooooooooooooooh wait. so this week I'm the manager which means I don't have to wear my uniform. totally great. my uniform makes me feel so much more dysphoric than my own clothes. Yay.
YOU HAVE THE POWER. Make sure you use it for evil not good
Speaking of power my boss has been away for the past few days leaving me in charge. I'm starting to see why he wanted me over here with me, it is soon going to be time for my co-worker to meet my baseball bat
Quote from: christopher on August 18, 2014, 01:06:53 AM
My least favorite are pigs.
A friend who has a small farm decided to raise some pigs, so he bought a litter of weaner pigs, they were cute little guys most were males. He offered me one and said he would raise it to slaughtering weight if I helped him castrate them, I can still hear those little piggys screaming as I held them in my lap and gripped their hind legs as he did the deed. Day's later I took my spouse to the little farm to see our little piggy, I held him up to her and he screamed and took a nasty dump on my feel. My spouse said, "How disgusting put that damned thing down!" It was probably best that we didn't name it because it turned out that my wife really loved him when he was rendered into bacon, hams, ribs, sausage and chops later on.
The difference between a good and bad hairdresser is the difference between night and day.
Sometimes, I think I'm the last person who actually reads folklore and myths.
I keep running into people who claim to like Norse beliefs, but who insist that "jotuns"=bad and gods=good, that Loki isn't a god because he's a jötunn, and all sorts of weird ideas they wouldn't have if they actually bothered to learn the mythology. If they did, they would realize that this isn't Christianity and there is no good/bad dualism. They would realize that pretty much all the Æsir are at least part and sometimes all jötunn. But no, they have no interest in actually learning about something they claim to like.
I never seem to stop running into people who have no idea what faeries are. The worst are those who think faeries are all goodness, light, and sparkles. I have no idea where people get that idea, but it makes me feel sick. Or there are the ones who think faeries are little things with wings. The Victorian era was to faeries what Twilight is to vampires. There are also the people who read a brief amount of folklore, but then stop and latch onto a few simplistic ideas they picked up which wouldn't be so bad if they didn't then claim to like and know a lot about faeries. Clearly, they don't like faeries because they gave up learning about them or didn't bother in the first place.
Oh boy, my brother is going to be furious with me when he finds out I picked Marcel as my first name since his first name is Marcelo.
Quote from: Marcellow on August 18, 2014, 01:03:01 PM
Oh boy, my brother is going to be furious with me when he finds out I picked Marcel as my first name since his first name is Marcelo.
You set yourself up! Can you take him? ;D
Quote from: Shantel on August 18, 2014, 01:58:35 PM
You set yourself up! Can you take him? ;D
Sure why not? ;D If anything, they can use my middle name Lutan.
My mom and I had the same name so I don't see why this can't work.
Quote from: Marcellow on August 18, 2014, 02:21:10 PM
Sure why not? ;D If anything, they can use my middle name Lutan.
My mom and I had the same name so I don't see why this can't work.
I like the name, it does fit you from what I know of you and judging from your photos.
Did I get in trouble agin? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2F1zeb8dd.jpg&hash=339c98307057f7a1f68ab546941fb8e0b21cf3d1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hDo80ddn4Q
Quote from: Evelyn K on August 18, 2014, 02:54:35 PM
Did I get in trouble agin? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2F1zeb8dd.jpg&hash=339c98307057f7a1f68ab546941fb8e0b21cf3d1)
I doubt that!
Quote from: Shantel on August 18, 2014, 02:36:38 PM
I like the name, it does fit you from what I know of you and judging from your photos.
Awww really? Thanks!
Much of today has stunk but I did just get sirred for the first time. Ok, the guy was ancient but still!
I'm stressing the fact i didn't report what happened. I'm pretty sure my finger isn't broken. It seems like no matter what I'm in trouble for this one.
Now if only my damn insurance would start processing already, I can really start to get things going!
Horrible day. Not getting into it. Oh well. Not the end of the world.
Apparently there is a real life Purge planned, based on the film. Man, that film sucked. Some parts were kind of suspenseful but horror movies these days are godawful. I want to watch something that makes me scared to sleep.
I want to get a kid's clip on/elastic tie for .99 cents on Ebay from China. However, it's like "where do I even go?" All I do is work and go home so it would be a waste of money.
I hope today is a better day birkin
does someone want to walk my dog?
Thinking about recording some parts of a song right now while I can still hit the high notes. The rest would be recorded by my voice a year on T and will be using it as my 1 year voice comparison video.
I noticed that I'm attracted to long, flowing hair on a woman. A woman's hair can drive me crazy. My ex girlfriend had such beautiful hair. The young girl working at the Chinese place where I work had her hair down in a pony tail (usually it's up) and I was just so captivated by her. She had her hair all the way down one time and I loved it. Miss Sample Lady's hair is also beautiful in the pony tail she has it in. Heck I'll even admit that long hair on a guy drives me crazy.....
So there was a lady on the bus today who was probably in her 40's or 50's. She seemed to have a sweet personality and I actually wanted to talk to her, which is rare for me. Well ironically she made conversation with me and we had a good talk about how our bus system should be expanded and extended to run at night. We also talked about how taking the bus in combination with taking a cab is more cheaper than owning a car. I didn't want to leave her, but I had to go to work. I told her to have a blessed day. I hope I see her again.
Quote from: Marcellow on August 19, 2014, 10:04:13 PM
Thinking about recording some parts of a song right now while I can still hit the high notes. The rest would be recorded by my voice a year on T and will be using it as my 1 year voice comparison video.
thats totally cool
Quote from: christopher on August 19, 2014, 09:55:01 PM
I hope today is a better day birkin
does someone want to walk my dog?
I'll do it! I love dogs.
Today was better, but I'm right back into it tomorrow with work, sighhhh. I thought I'd have money in the bank but some unexpected costs came up, so now I won't be able to save any of my paycheck. Maybe I am not meant to get ahead in life lol.
Plan A failed, plan B mostly failed except one not very ideal option, plan C came to nothing, on to plan D.
I must become proficient in German by mid-November. I'm a bit beyond "du bist ein apfelkopf," but ich möchte für die Lufthansa arbitren.
I'm thinking ::) at some of the posts in M2F...
Quote from: Evelyn K on August 20, 2014, 04:21:51 PM
I'm thinking ::) at some of the posts in M2F...
Were they yours?
I wonder what kind of splint there are going to put me in tomorrow. if i go up there and they just buddy tape it, i am going to be annoyed
Quote from: birkin on August 19, 2014, 10:48:52 PM
I'll do it! I love dogs.
great. the hyper one really wants a walk now.. now. now? nownownownownowNOW
I spoke to a woman today at work that had a Doctorate Degree in metaphysics/spirituality or something like that. She was telling me how She likely won't find work here since it's mostlly religious and conservative intolerant. She told me her beliefs in a nutshell of how spiritually we are all equal etc. I was like "yeah that won't fly in the Bible belt" lol and she laughed and agreed and said something like "Lord forbid if you're gay down here". She seemed like a really cool lady. She wants to move to California where it's more open to diversity and I told her how I wanted to move there too or to New York. Unfortunately I had a customer so she let me be and we both wished each other good luck in moving up North. Granted, I don't agree with her beliefs and if she really got to know me and my beliefs, she would likely place me in the category of "one of those intolerant" religious people, but she did hit the nail on the head when it comes to LBGT issues. This is not the place for someone like me and up north is the way to go.
Quote from: King Malachite on August 20, 2014, 07:52:26 PM
I spoke to a woman today at work that had a Doctorate Degree in metaphysics/spirituality or something like that. She was telling me how She likely won't find work here since it's mostlly religious and conservative intolerant. She told me her beliefs in a nutshell of how spiritually we are all equal etc. I was like "yeah that won't fly in the Bible belt" lol and she laughed and agreed and said something like "Lord forbid if you're gay down here". She seemed like a really cool lady. She wants to move to California where it's more open to diversity and I told her how I wanted to move there too or to New York. Unfortunately I had a customer so she let me be and we both wished each other good luck in moving up North. Granted, I don't agree with her beliefs and if she really got to know me and my beliefs, she would likely place me in the category of "one of those intolerant" religious people, but she did hit the nail on the head when it comes to LBGT issues. This is not the place for someone like me and up north is the way to go.
Reminds me of when I was doing some work in Louisiana and some folks were suspicious because i was white working in their neighborhood, when they got to know me and that I was from Seattle and not one of the locals, I was well received, invited to an old fashioned tent revival and chicken & fish fry, it was one of the best times of my life.
Quote from: Shantel on August 20, 2014, 09:37:16 PM
Reminds me of when I was doing some work in Louisiana and some folks were suspicious because i was white working in their neighborhood, when they got to know me and that I was from Seattle and not one of the locals, I was well received, invited to an old fashioned tent revival and chicken & fish fry, it was one of the best times of my life.
Nice! At first, I wondered how it helped that you weren't one of the locals, but then it dawned on me, lol!
ok, so I'm trying to start being in healthy relationships... so, question. someone I know and I are planing a trip on saturday. we are going to do a bit of siteseeing and a bit of hiking. I sent her an email tonight and asked of she would mind doing the driving or at least splitting it since I have a stick and I broke my finger. she said ok. she didn't ask what happened or anything else about me. she did write a paragraph in response to the part of the email where I asked about something that's been going on in her life. is this a warning sign? or am I now assuming the worst or making a bigger deal out of a broken finger than I should or?????
The symptoms, cause and effects of Parkinson's
Nacho cheese-flavored Bugles are soooooo addictive!
The NB forest thread has some serious writers and story lines. Feeling a little envious.
I saw a guy on the bus yesterday that had on a John Cena shirt, a chain wallet, a Call of Duty rubber bracelet, and a Spiderman necklace, and he was a college student. He's the type of guy I'd like to hang out and play video games with....though he would have to get that John Cena shirt off of him, lol.
Quote from: christopher on August 21, 2014, 12:52:07 AM
ok, so I'm trying to start being in healthy relationships... so, question. someone I know and I are planing a trip on saturday. we are going to do a bit of siteseeing and a bit of hiking. I sent her an email tonight and asked of she would mind doing the driving or at least splitting it since I have a stick and I broke my finger. she said ok. she didn't ask what happened or anything else about me. she did write a paragraph in response to the part of the email where I asked about something that's been going on in her life. is this a warning sign? or am I now assuming the worst or making a bigger deal out of a broken finger than I should or?????
Ahm, hard to say. I mean if someone broke their finger I'd be like "omg that's horrible are you ok?" But that's just me. If it were my mom and someone broke their finger, she'd be like "ok" because she's broken her fingers so many times she doesn't even care anymore lol. I wouldn't read too much into it, if there is something unhealthy between you two she will reveal more in time.
I agree with Caleb. That alone isn't a sign, but if there is something unhealthy, it will become evident.
Good luck, Christopher.
I'm wondering a similar thing about my relationship. :-\
What's going on with yours Victor?
Can I PM you?
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay friends :) Time for a new one - What are you thinking? 9.0 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=171918.new#new)