I'm thinking there are plenty more thoughts to post 8)
I'm thinking I have plenty of thoughts I could post,.......but should I?
I'm thinking about stuff.
im thnkng i should have plucked some hairs before work today...... :embarrassed: a lttle to hairy in the wrong places......
Thinking about what I'm going to get in exchange for some Christmas returns (I love a 30 day gift return policy!)
thnkng...... my bed is calling my name..... but work is preventing our reuninon.
Quote from: Sheala on January 16, 2014, 04:30:06 AM
thnkng...... my bed is calling my name..... but work is preventing our reuninon.
mine doesnt just call my name ,,,its crying and begging me to sleep on it 0-0
and I have nothing to do...
so I guess the nap im gonna take right now will be for the sake of everyone who wants to but can not sleep due to work etc ...LOL :angel:
thinks..... GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! FalsePrncess is stealing my sleep :P
Rest assured that while I sleep I ll be thinking about you
Ill even use my mental powers to try to transfer some of the relaxation im feeling to you :angel:
Transfer your powers of insomnia to me. I've been a zombie for days due to a stupid cold. I need a pick me up.
I'm thinking its a sunny day in Mid January and we still haven't had any snow this winter so I'm thinking that one day soon we'll get the blizzard of the century.
Awwwww thank you FalsePrincess i can use the rest hehehe
Quote from: oh hai! on January 16, 2014, 04:46:14 AM
Transfer your powers of insomnia to me. I've been a zombie for days due to a stupid cold. I need a pick me up.
nope I dont have that kind of power...i can sleep all day if I want to ...
wait a second,,,is that a drill im hearing? pls god not now!
Quote from: Sheala on January 16, 2014, 04:49:09 AM
Awwwww thank you FalsePrincess i can use the rest hehehe
yeah i dunno , it seems that a neighbour is drilling something...jesus pls let this end soon
I'm thinking I'm a mind reader. FalsePrincess is considering murder...
Quote from: oh hai! on January 16, 2014, 04:56:11 AM
I'm thinking I'm a mind reader. FalsePrincess is considering murder...
Hmpf...impressive indeed...
should I seek medical help?
its not that im gonna kill them for real...im just thinking about it, it lessens my pain ...
cause there are two things I hate in life,,,
my former self , still do sometimes...
and noise when I try to sleep...it drives me crazy...
hhhhm anyway it stoped...thats nice ...
I think i want boobs...
Tired of drama. Some just create it out of thin air.
I need to catch up on sleep.
I've been feeling down for reasons I don't want to get into, but I'm wondering if it would make me feel better to treat my sisters out for some Chinese food. Not a wise move considering I'm trying to save for top surgery, but I do want Chinese.
Quote from: Malachite on January 16, 2014, 08:33:34 AM
I've been feeling down for reasons I don't want to get into, but I'm wondering if it would make me feel better to treat my sisters out for some Chinese food. Not a wise move considering I'm trying to save for top surgery, but I do want Chinese.
Chinese isnt That much that itd put too much of a dent in your progress.
Go get that food! Then share with me!
Quote from: Emo on January 16, 2014, 08:39:30 AM
Chinese isnt That much that itd put too much of a dent in your progress.
Go get that food! Then share with me!
I called my sisters about going out. One of them is sick and on a fast and the other says that it's too cold and she needs to clean up their house.
They both said they would gladly take a raincheck though lol. :D I might not feel up to it by then.
I'm stressed out over this strike, student loans (they're late again), interpersonal relations, and things I need to do today.
I really want to go for a walk, but it seems all of a sudden everyone decided to stop being lazy earth whores and actually walk places even in the snow. The winter is supposed to be my time for lonely walks without passing tons of strange people. Lol.
That I am so sweet with my goddaughter. Knitting a super tiny little jumper to her. It's going to look so cute!
Also, lying in bed watching Dr Who really helps when you've gone through throat surgery and you don't really have energy for anything else.
OH AND I GOT A NEW PHONE TODAY. It's super techy-tech. Loving it.
QuoteI only do dramas with a lot of romance that is...I cant do anything else , and it kinda gets depressing and the light at the end of the tunnel is pretty much what I do too, or maybe even though there is light at the end , darkness is still kinda there...kinda
Yeah, I like my share of mushy romantic stuff as long as it fits with the overall plot. As far as "light vs darkness" is concerned: I like the light. It may sound like a cliche, but I don't like ending things on a down note. It's just not my style. But having some darker moments within the story is okay.
So yeah my plans for Anime Expo are alive in me again. I so want to go to a Yugioh gathering and watch some people duel. I don't have the slightest clue how to play and nor do I care to learn, but I'm going to be there and pretend like I know what's going on lol. I just got to figure out who to cosplay as....either Seto, Marik, Duke, Yugi, Odion, or maybe even Mokuba. Mokuba would probably be the easiest for me.
Cosplay!
I'm about to do the hardest thing a man can ever be asked to do.
Throw out all my old, overworn, in-need-of-replacement underwear.
*sheds a single manly tear* It's for the greater good.
Quote from: caleb. on January 16, 2014, 01:00:22 PM
I'm about to do the hardest thing a man can ever be asked to do.
Throw out all my old, overworn, in-need-of-replacement underwear.
*sheds a single manly tear* It's for the greater good.
nooooooo
I think clannad is the cutest sweetest cutest anime ive ever seen!!! ^__^
Quote from: Emo on January 16, 2014, 01:33:06 PM
I think clannad is the cutest sweetest cutest anime ive ever seen!!! ^__^
The awkward moment when that is THE main reason I didn't like it! Thumbs up for GOOORE! Lol!
And gosh Caleb, what's up with you guys and never just.. letting go on old underwear?! My ex was like that, I used to go "yeah the washing machine must be eating your boxers" but it was really just me urging him to replace the old ones.. *innocent look* Haha brought back some good memories there.
I am thinking that I should clean my room. And socialise. But those two doesn't work well together. So instead I'll just sit here until someone either goes "geesh, messy" or "geesh, antisocial" and take it from there.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 16, 2014, 01:52:55 PM
The awkward moment when that is THE main reason I didn't like it! Thumbs up for GOOORE! Lol!
It has gore? Hmm...
Must not have gotten far enough.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 16, 2014, 01:52:55 PM
The awkward moment when that is THE main reason I didn't like it! Thumbs up for GOOORE! Lol!
Do you like Baccano! and Hellsing?
Quote from: Emo on January 16, 2014, 02:03:47 PM
It has gore? Hmm...
Must not have gotten far enough.
Nono, as in I prefer gorey stuff!
Haven't seen Hellsing but yeah Baccano is more my kind of anime Edge :) (Happy New Year btw, somewhat belated lol, haven't been here much since I went to England and all) :)
Hellsing is AWESOME! (The OVA, not the tv anime.)
Yay! Someone else who likes Baccano!
Happy New Year. How's England?
I think ill watch more clannad tonite. Hopefully i cry.
Also im angry at myself for being so sorrowful tonite...
If I ever move....I'm going to use the U-Haul U boxes. I'm so glad I found out about those. I don't have a lot of things so I would only need like one or two boxes.
Quote from: Emo on January 16, 2014, 10:35:04 PM
I think ill watch more clannad tonite. Hopefully i cry.
Also im angry at myself for being so sorrowful tonite...
Hhhm , I m watching a comedy anime and I cried on a random sad scene...damn hrt works,
if you want to cry thats the medicine :)
before hrt I d cry too ,,,but it was very rare,,,
Im so stupid...
I'm daydreaming about some extremely rich person giving me 2 billion dollars.
I can't get this out of my head.
Ich hab ein herz aus eis and I don't want it to thaw.
I need to learn more German. Especially sentence structure. I can look up individual words if I understand sentence structure.
I'm doing extreme sports right now. Eating cheetos after throat surgery.
Don't do this at home.
I'm thinking that being on call anytime the store is open is a pain. but the last one did tickle me. She calls me all in a panic saying that the pumped amounts weren't coming up on the register screen which means that you can't select them to tender them. She failed to tell me that the whole area for the pumped fuel was gone, so I go up there(luckily, its not even a mile) and look at the screen, click the little double arrow that expands or contracts the item list and presto, there it be...
I hope she remembers that the next time she accidentally hits something.
Quote from: Edge on January 16, 2014, 09:16:44 AM
I'm stressed out over this strike, student loans (they're late again), interpersonal relations, and things I need to do today.
Talk to the loan folks and ask for temporary forbearance. They understand the crappy economy.
Quote from: Jamie D on January 17, 2014, 04:41:12 PM
Talk to the loan folks and ask for temporary forbearance. They understand the crappy economy.
Nah I mean I am supposed to receive my student loan to pay for tuition. Luckily, the due date has been extended due to the strike.
I saw a somewhat "internet famous" trans guy today while I was getting my injection. I knew he lived in my area and always wondered if I'd ever see him around.
I really hope my sister's don't try to cash in on that "raincheck" for me treating them out to eat. I have to extend my warranty on my laptop so that money should be used for that. Besides, that money spent on us would have paid for part of a video game....half way for the Far Cry Bundle.
Moved out today.
Trying to find a place to stay. :)
I just dumped some soup out because it was so nasty. I'm eating a can of chicken now.
I wonder if bans here are permanent or temporary nowadays. it used to be announced publicly in the announcements forum but not so much now so now I wonder.
Quote from: Malachite on January 18, 2014, 01:46:32 PM
I wonder if bans here are permanent or temporary nowadays. it used to be announced publicly in the announcements forum but not so much now so now I wonder.
I'm pretty sure both are still applied as needed.
Quote from: Emo on January 18, 2014, 12:25:22 PM
Moved out today.
Trying to find a place to stay. :)
Good luck.
I am in a really, REALLY bad mood today.
Quote from: Edge on January 18, 2014, 01:51:34 PM
Good luck.
I am in a really, REALLY bad mood today.
hugs* wanna talk about it?
Found out funyuns have soy in them. Helpfull!
Found my original post in the introduction forum from my first account here. It was even in my real name and apparently, I've been around since November 13, 2011. Time flies when you get old...
There was a Coca Cola in the fridge.
I went into my mom's room to get a room temprature Pepsi.
Quote from: Malachite on January 18, 2014, 03:37:59 PM
There was a Coca Cola in the fridge.
I went into my mom's room to get a room temprature Pepsi.
story of my life.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 18, 2014, 03:30:51 PM
Found my original post in the introduction forum from my first account here. It was even in my real name and apparently, I've been around since November 13, 2011. Time flies when you get old...
How would you know? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc02.deviantart.net%2Ffs71%2Ff%2F2009%2F350%2Fd%2F8%2FAngel_emoticon_by_Nightsangel666.png&hash=fe14ecda5f9b02b7302d58296eeec58e9883b14b)
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 18, 2014, 04:25:41 PM
How would you know? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc02.deviantart.net%2Ffs71%2Ff%2F2009%2F350%2Fd%2F8%2FAngel_emoticon_by_Nightsangel666.png&hash=fe14ecda5f9b02b7302d58296eeec58e9883b14b)
lol, While I am not at as an advanced age as some of our members here, I am 50, turning 51 in about two months. And it does seem like time goes by faster as I get older.
Quote from: Emo on January 18, 2014, 04:32:32 PM
Im a drpepper girl.
Have you tried Dr. Wham? Its a pepsi version of Dr. Pepper, albeit a little sharper taste to it, just as pepsi is a tad sharper taste than coke.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 18, 2014, 04:36:57 PM
Have you tried Dr. Wham? Its a pepsi version of Dr. Pepper, albeit a little sharper taste to it, just as pepsi is a tad sharper taste than coke.
No but ive had mr pibb and i like it better than dr pepper. But i cant find it in bottles.
Quote from: Emo on January 18, 2014, 04:32:32 PM
Im a drpepper girl.
Oooo I like Dr. Pepper, though I haven't had one in a while. Cheerwine soda used to be one of my favorites. I also like Grapefruit soda and Mt. Lightening
I have never tasted Dr. Pepper before. *confession bear*
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 18, 2014, 04:49:41 PM
I have never tasted Dr. Pepper before. *confession bear*
they dont even have dr pepper in greece ,,,haha'
thank god for coca cola
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 18, 2014, 04:49:41 PM
I have never tasted Dr. Pepper before. *confession bear*
Have you had Brio? They're oddly similar.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 18, 2014, 04:49:41 PM
I have never tasted Dr. Pepper before. *confession bear*
it contains artificial sweeteners. i no longer drink it.
Altho mountain dew code red is amazing.
Quote from: Emo on January 18, 2014, 04:56:48 PM
Altho mountain dew code red is amazing.
i had mountain dew once.
Disgustingly sweet and that is saying something considering what i drank at the time.
But you're Dutch/German? Living there? American and even British drinks are much sweeter than they are in Germany. I tried British chocolate milkshake, it was disturbingly sweet.
Im thinking that I want to kill my neighbors...If i had the chance who knows...
really ffs,,,I ve told them 3 times to not open the fricking air conditioner at night cause in my house it sounds like a damn helicopter...buut no...
I cant sleep for the love of god you monsters!
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 18, 2014, 05:13:39 PM
But you're Dutch/German? Living there? American and even British drinks are much sweeter than they are in Germany. I tried British chocolate milkshake, it was disturbingly sweet.
i lived in the netherlands for a couple of years. now i live in germany (but not far away, about half an hour away).
mountain dew tastes like sugar with not much of an original taste. i used to like dr.pepper but now it tastes like that too. i love drinking this (but i can't drink too much of it for health reasons, i don't know why, i just noticed it myself):
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhamburgrecords.com%2Ffritz-kola%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Ff%2Fr%2Ffritz_ac_koksenistachtziger_po_a2_neu.jpg&hash=b8cd10463b43338069103249bf883fc91b654cde)
Translation:
fritz-kola
doing blow is so 80's.
I need a hug...
Quote from: Emo on January 18, 2014, 10:47:54 PM
I need a hug...
*gives you a big, squeezy cyberhug*
:)
My sister's in a music video.
She's supporting her friend, who's a performing drag queen. I don't know how I respond to this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRjL-fjtegA&feature=share (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRjL-fjtegA&feature=share)
Quote from: Gwynne on January 18, 2014, 11:28:34 PM
My sister's in a music video.
She's supporting her friend, who's a performing drag queen. I don't know how I respond to this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRjL-fjtegA&feature=share (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRjL-fjtegA&feature=share)
Um...
No. >_>
Quote from: Emo on January 18, 2014, 11:32:54 PM
Um...
No. >_>
Honestly, that's how I feel. :-\
Not to be divisive, but I worry that she uses the stereotypes communicated here as a lens to interpret me. And I really couldn't have less in common with the protagonist of this video.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 18, 2014, 11:28:34 PM
My sister's in a music video.
She's supporting her friend, who's a performing drag queen. I don't know how I respond to this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRjL-fjtegA&feature=share (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRjL-fjtegA&feature=share)
My sister's not in the video and I don't know how to respond to this.....
Quote from: Gwynne on January 18, 2014, 11:37:20 PM
Honestly, that's how I feel. :-\
Not to be divisive, but I worry that she uses the stereotypes communicated here as a lens to interpret me. And I really couldn't have less in common with the protagonist of this video.
exactly.
I dont want to be seen as a sex crazed drag. I want to be seen as a cute civilized punky geek girl... Whose cute.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 18, 2014, 11:28:34 PM
My sister's in a music video.
She's supporting her friend, who's a performing drag queen. I don't know how I respond to this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRjL-fjtegA&feature=share (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRjL-fjtegA&feature=share)
Wait... that's music? Uhm... it's four minutes forty one seconds of my life I'll never get back. :o Good grief. Consider my delicate sensibilities well and truly shattered. The things youngsters get up to these days. *gets slippers and warm milk*
How to respond to that. Uh... it's well edited?
This is better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-kp-uAevys
Quote from: Sephirah on January 18, 2014, 11:52:49 PM
Wait... that's music? Uhm... it's four minutes forty one seconds of my life I'll never get back.
I have to concede that I didn't make it all the way through. I'm a bad sibling. :-\
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 18, 2014, 11:58:55 PM
This is better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-kp-uAevys
Ow...
That actually hurt my ear drums...
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 18, 2014, 11:58:55 PM
This is better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-kp-uAevys
My tinny laptop speakers don't do it justice.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 19, 2014, 12:00:20 AM
I have to concede that I didn't make it all the way through. I'm a bad sibling. :-\
Lol. Neither did i.
I think i made it to 40 seconds.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 19, 2014, 12:00:20 AM
I have to concede that I didn't make it all the way through. I'm a bad sibling. :-\
Quote from: Emo on January 19, 2014, 12:01:38 AM
Lol. Neither did i.
I think i made it to 40 seconds.
And the wise shall inherit the Earth. ;D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 18, 2014, 11:58:55 PM
This is better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-kp-uAevys
Hey I love this song!
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 18, 2014, 11:58:55 PM
This is better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-kp-uAevys
That reminded me of the scene in SETI, from Independence Day. With the signal on the loudspeaker. And all I could think was if it could be translated it would be something like:
"Yeah, uh, hi. This is Bob. We've come a long way. A very long way. Do you think we could borrow a cup of sugar? We don't want to kill you all, that would be very bad form. We just want some sugar. Deirdre and Xallanxera'khathar haven't had their coffee yet and they're becoming
very grouchy. Thanks."
Of course Jeff Goldblum would have to figure that out.
I'm thinking that nailing a picture hanger to the wall when I have long gel nails is a really good way to remind me to get someone else to do it in future.
I think I have found a use for men! Or is that another use :embarrassed:
Nursing crushed bruised hand.
Im thinking hammering nails into a wall with.....
Quote from: Cindy on January 19, 2014, 12:45:45 AM
I'm thinking that nailing a picture hanger to the wall when I have long gel nails is a really good way to remind me to get someone else to do it in future.
I think I have found a use for men! Or is that another use :embarrassed:
Nursing crushed bruised hand.
Too late...
Quote from: Emo on January 19, 2014, 12:55:04 AM
Im thinking hammering nails into a wall with.....Too late...
Oh the truth hurts, so did the hammer :laugh:
Gonna watch clannad while my friend takes a shower... Appearently.
Quote from: Emo on January 19, 2014, 01:14:44 AM
Gonna watch clannad while my friend takes a shower... Appearently.
I though I should watch it too,,,then I saw a major spoiler on youtube apparently...
sigh
Different day, same crap
Quote from: alabamagirl on January 19, 2014, 01:35:00 AM
I'm bored.
And lonely.
I wish someone would talk to me about *anything*.
I wish I was in Australia.
...Those are my current thoughts. :P
Nah place is full of happy transgender folk >:-)
Quote from: alabamagirl on January 19, 2014, 01:35:00 AM
I'm bored.
And lonely.
I wish someone would talk to me about *anything*.
I wish I was in Australia.
...Those are my current thoughts. :P
my skype is peta.cindy@skype
talk anytime.
But don't tell anyone my address, half the world doesn't know it. :laugh:
Done.
Was so gud. :)
Have to bring the Aussie girls in to tell you how miserable we really are :laugh:
Quote from: alabamagirl on January 19, 2014, 02:31:32 AM
Hm... Maybe some other time. I'm too lazy to make a Skype account right now. Thank you, though. Do you really have time to talk to me? I figured you would be pretty busy most of the time.
I am here to talk to people. Yes I get busy but that is why I am here as well, Mods are whipped into work by the cruel FA, that unfeeling uncaring man who forces us to be staff :laugh:
I'm here honey talk away by pm or in the thread.
My moods are fluctuating more... One minute im happy happy next minute, im too sad to care.
I dont know whats going on but i dont like it...
Quote from: Cindy on January 19, 2014, 02:32:13 AM
Have to bring the Aussie girls in to tell you how miserable we really are :laugh:
We're the
worst.
No, really! ;D
Quote from: Cindy on January 19, 2014, 12:45:45 AM
I'm thinking that nailing a picture hanger to the wall when I have long gel nails is a really good way to remind me to get someone else to do it in future.
I think I have found a use for men! Or is that another use :embarrassed:
Nursing crushed bruised hand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaWl2lA7968
A hammer and a plane ticket would cure that.
Quote from: V M on January 19, 2014, 02:19:04 AM
Different day, same crap
Are you saying life as normal?
Now I miss hearing Australian accents. Those are so pretty.
No-one seems to really understand, but that's okay, I don't expect them to
Quote from: V M on January 19, 2014, 07:08:14 AM
No-one seems to really understand, but that's okay, I don't expect them to
I admit to confusion. A normal state for me.
Just woke up 3 hrs of oblivion. Wow
Someone I barely know is trying to use manipulative mind games on me. Should I leave it or should I have some fun? I'm bored and they're willingly going up against me. I'm going to have some fun.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1505520_1485448761681804_1364870335_n.jpg)
Today is a very okay day to stay inside.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 19, 2014, 11:42:57 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1505520_1485448761681804_1364870335_n.jpg)
Today is a very okay day to stay inside.
I concur! With hot chocolate or other warm beverage, blankets, and a book or movie.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 19, 2014, 12:01:33 AM
My tinny laptop speakers don't do it justice.
You need a set of Behringer MS16 speakers. Not too expensive nor are they top of the line but they get the job done. (Dotty and Portia items optional. :D)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2F1203131634-00.jpg&hash=cd9d5e91bf8d3529e9ceedd4a022f7e5600b0006)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2F564b5b2b-8575-43c5-8ad9-fc50c5d3dbbe.jpg&hash=bb3cd93e883b08d1ab205ff7825d2b9411259554)
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 19, 2014, 12:30:26 PM
You need a set of Behringer MS16 speakers. Not too expensive nor are they top of the line but they get the job done. (Dotty and Portia items optional. :D)
I used to have a lovely vintage technics amp and speaker set that would have rocked this.
I want to learn piano. Always wanted to, and lately I've been feeling much better since I started to be true, so why not. Looking for a good teacher.
I used to have a Technics receiver that my dad gave me. I blew it up by accident running a distortion pedal through it, running feedback loops. It sounded something like this:
http://ghostsofdeadtables.bandcamp.com/track/ground-up-into-mulch
Although the set up on this track was more elaborate. The day after I did that to the Technics receiver, it spewed out this THICK cloud of white smoke while it was still going! :D I freaked out and shut it off, unplugged the tape deck, CD player and speakers from the receiver. It was BOILING hot. Once it cooled down, I took the casing off and saw that the two circular transformers in the middle were scorched black. I went without tunes for several months until I got a Sony receiver for Christmas (this was 1995). That stereo lasted until 2003. I couldn't complain since it was used CONSTANTLY. But I never abused another stereo receiver like that ever again. Now, I have equipment that is designed especially for that kind of abuse. ;D
I think i should just stop trying.
Im only made for admiring <3 from afar...
Quote from: Emo on January 19, 2014, 01:55:10 PM
I think i should just stop trying.
Im only made for admiring <3 from afar...
Trying what?
I still have and use a Technics system that I bought in 1990. Put some Rush 2112 on it wide open and it hurts.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 19, 2014, 02:29:00 PM
I still have and use a Technics system that I bought in 1990. Put some Rush 2112 on it wide open and it hurts.
Yeah, older electronics tend to stick around. BUT not when you torture them in the way that I did that poor receiver. :D
My Technics set was passed down from my dad, with strict instructions to treat it with the utmost respect. I did.
I did kill a vintage tube amp once--an old Vibrolux. Such a shame. :-\
Quote from: Gwynne on January 19, 2014, 02:51:07 PM
My Technics set was passed down from my dad, with strict instructions to treat it with the utmost respect. I did.
I did kill a vintage tube amp once--an old Vibrolux. Such a shame. :-\
Well, my dad knew that I was into doing Noise stuff, (It was common for them to come home from work with it blaring SUPER loud from my bedroom. I always wore earplugs since it was so loud. I got scared out of my skin a few times when they would come home early and open the bedroom door on me doing all of this stuff.) but he had no idea I would be crazy enough to try that with the stereo receiver. I had been doing it for a long time with a guitar amp and it still worked, so I thought that using a receiver for a feedback loop wouldn't hurt it.
I was VERY wrong about that. :D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 19, 2014, 02:55:27 PM
Well, my dad knew that I was into doing Noise stuff, (It was common for them to come home from work with it blaring SUPER loud from my bedroom. I always wore earplugs since it was so loud. I got scared out of my skin a few times when they would come home early and open the bedroom door on me doing all of this stuff.) but he had no idea I would be crazy enough to try that with the stereo receiver. I had been doing it for a long time with a guitar amp and it still worked, so I thought that using a receiver for a feedback loop wouldn't hurt it.
I was VERY wrong about that. :D
I killed the fender through a tragic combination of teenaged stupidity and homebrew electronics :P
Quote from: Emo on January 19, 2014, 03:04:31 PM
Love.
I love all elegant things, like proofs and the laws of physics.
Saying goodbye to this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FE0UTSSQ.jpg&hash=0d04ce4b7eb62aef398e54592d85e12858c7a0bc)
Oddly enough, now It'd be better for me when wearing a skirt. The big issue is that it is too "pretty", and a major issue to use as a daily bike. I already have another cheapo bike equipped for daily commuting.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 19, 2014, 03:09:05 PM
I love all elegant things, like proofs and the laws of physics.
Seeing romance makes me ache.
Thinking I have to take a break from the forums and watch Seahawks vs 49ers, seems like the Broncos pounded the Patriots which means that it's possible that the only two states in the union that has legalized marijuana may have pro football teams going head to head in the Superbowl. Whatever significance that has?...Meh! :D
Quote from: Shantel on January 19, 2014, 05:36:19 PM
Thinking I have to take a break from the forums and watch Seahawks vs 49ers, seems like the Broncos pounded the Patriots which means that it's possible that the only two states in the union that has legalized marijuana may have pro football teams going head to head in the Superbowl. Whatever significance that has?...Meh! :D
Apparently, a pro-legalization group was looking to purchase a Super Bowl ad. I wonder if they pulled it off?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl3.kottonmouthkings.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fkroniclesnode%2Fpublic%2Ffield%2Fimage%2FNORML-ad.jpg%3Fitok%3Dgs99G_8X&hash=b90a10563c8d92d42a0ab0dc87b600f82c9d949f)
Quote from: Gwynne on January 19, 2014, 05:46:59 PM
Apparently, a pro-legalization group was looking to purchase a Super Bowl ad. I wonder if they pulled it off?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl3.kottonmouthkings.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fkroniclesnode%2Fpublic%2Ffield%2Fimage%2FNORML-ad.jpg%3Fitok%3Dgs99G_8X&hash=b90a10563c8d92d42a0ab0dc87b600f82c9d949f)
I suppose we'll find out as the Seattle Seahawks go head to head against the Denver Broncos. :icon_drunk:
Go Seahawks!
Yup 8) It'll be
Seahawks
VS
Broncos
In
NY
Should be quite a game :)
I'll enjoy the game secure in the knowledge that my team won months ago. ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.leaderpost.com%2Fcms%2Fbinary%2F9201518.jpg&hash=58953c24d7814a996c725beedbc16941a49f5828)
Why am i happy right now...
Why on earth didn't the 49ers try a field goal and tie it????? Then go into overtime!!!
Waiting for people to forget me...
Quote from: Emo on January 20, 2014, 02:11:54 AM
Waiting for people to forget me...
Could be a very long wait!
If people forgot me, they would be happier.
I'm thinking i wish i had a computer because i really adore this community! Alas i'm using a smartphone which isnt terrible but everything is really small... is the app at login like better for phones?
If I forgot about people, I would be happier.
Quote from: Heidi Clare Fitz on January 20, 2014, 03:23:55 AM
I'm thinking i wish i had a computer because i really adore this community! Alas i'm using a smartphone which isnt terrible but everything is really small... is the app at login like better for phones?
Yes.
Quote from: Cindy on January 20, 2014, 12:52:58 AM
Why on earth didn't the 49ers try a field goal and tie it????? Then go into overtime!!!
They were stunned by the last few strokes of luck by the Hawks and weren't thinking straight. They played a great game that had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. The Seahawks QB fumble on the opening play was disheartening, I was wtf here we go ??? The 49ers QB was an exceptional player and their defensive squad kept the Hawks "Beast" practically immobile. Had it not been for an extremely aggressive Hawks defensive squad and a stellar kicker it wouldn't have been a win for us. I usually don't follow sports at all unless we have a good year and are headed to the playoffs.
Quote from: Emo on January 20, 2014, 02:26:21 AM
If people forgot me, they would be happier.
Except for me.
Quote from: Malachite on January 20, 2014, 05:35:52 AM
If I forgot about people, I would be happier.
Me, too. A lot poorer since they have all the money though.
Weird.. I came closer to crying on the clannad ova than the entire first season.
Quote from: LordKAT on January 20, 2014, 11:32:16 AM
Me, too. A lot poorer since they have all the money though.
yup, same here too
My cousin is going to a bike rally this Spring down in Mrytle Beach with a couple of her friends. I got to admit, I'm a little jealous. She never struck me as the bike type, but she said she wanted to treat herself so nothing wrong with that. I need to treat myself sometimes too. Not now, but one day. I hope they have fun.
I still treat myself. Small treats, but real all the same. Gaming comes to mind as does the occasional road trip.
I wish my dad hadn't planned a trip to Las Vegas next month. I have to list for all my jobs that I can only start March 5...that sucks! I want to be making money now. That said, it gives me plenty of time to wrap up my thesis, I guess...
Quote from: LordKAT on January 20, 2014, 01:19:58 PM
I still treat myself. Small treats, but real all the same. Gaming comes to mind as does the occasional road trip.
I wouldn't mind doing both about now.
I am so glad this is a community where a lot of people are willing to help others through their situations. I hate to admit, I'm not really enough of a mental athlete to be able to exhaust any type of useful advice most of the time. I have trouble enough replying to other people's responses to me in a timely manner and it's usually in short sentences because my mind burns out easily. Luckily, there are a lot of people here that are mentally strong enough to be able to exhaust an abundance of knowledge.
When im on hrt im watching clannad again.
Thinking about a bunch of cloned Malachites running around.
Why am I waiting to start HRT...... is basically the only thing on my mind here.
Sure I need to save money, yes I want to lose weight first... but I haven't even called them yet. (informed consent)
Quote from: LordKAT on January 20, 2014, 01:19:58 PM
I still treat myself. Small treats, but real all the same. Gaming comes to mind as does the occasional road trip.
Have you ever road-tripped it over the north shore of Superior?
Quote from: Sarah Rose on January 20, 2014, 04:36:02 PM
Why am I waiting to start HRT...... is basically the only thing on my mind here.
Sure I need to save money, yes I want to lose weight first... but I haven't even called them yet. (informed consent)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk%2Fi%2Fkeep-calm-and-pick-up-the-phone-55.png&hash=1185d97699727c16588cdcaf1a5d549b65560841)
Thanks Gwynne, I guess I have a phone call to make tomorrow morning.
I'm thinking that its good that pizza overdosing isn't a real possibility.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 20, 2014, 05:26:42 PM
I'm thinking that its good that pizza overdosing isn't a real possibility.
What makes you think that? America has a lot of pizza overdosers, they're lined up waiting for gastric bypasses even as I post this.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 20, 2014, 05:26:42 PM
I'm thinking that its good that pizza overdosing isn't a real possibility.
I'm deeply concerned by the plague of marijuana overdoses sweeping across Colorado :'(
http://dailycurrant.com/2014/01/02/marijuana-overdoses-kill-37-in-colorado-on-first-day-of-legalization/
Quote from: Gwynne on January 20, 2014, 05:30:45 PM
I'm deeply concerned by the plague of marijuana overdoses sweeping across Colorado :'(
http://dailycurrant.com/2014/01/02/marijuana-overdoses-kill-37-in-colorado-on-first-day-of-legalization/
Every study I've ever heard of said it's nearly impossible to overdose......
I don't know.. I suppose if you put the stuff into a lot of edibles you could but it is quite literally unheard of before this article.
No recorded pot deaths... ever, until this article.. I have a hard time believing it honestly.
EDIT
Yep.. it's fake: http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/overdose.asp
Holy crap, what's in it strychnine?
I had assumed that Gwynne knew that was a joke article when she posted the link.
Quote from: Sarah Rose on January 20, 2014, 05:44:32 PM
Every study I've ever heard of said it's nearly impossible to overdose......
I don't know.. I suppose if you put the stuff into a lot of edibles you could but it is quite literally unheard of before this article.
No recorded pot deaths... ever, until this article.. I have a hard time believing it honestly.
EDIT
Yep.. it's fake: http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/overdose.asp
I should have annotated that with a *satire* flag.
I was making a tongue-in-cheek poke at that story being picked up by mainstream media.
:icon_userfriendly: flummoxed again! ???
Quote from: Shantel on January 20, 2014, 05:58:01 PM
:icon_userfriendly: flummoxed again! ???
Sorry, Auntie Shan :( *guilty*
Quote from: Gwynne on January 20, 2014, 05:59:00 PM
Sorry, Auntie Shan :( *guilty*
I admit, I'm extremely gullible! :o
Quote from: Gwynne on January 20, 2014, 05:51:14 PM
I should have annotated that with a *satire* flag.
I was making a tongue-in-cheek poke at that story being picked up by mainstream media.
:p yeah...... my bad
Quote from: Sarah Rose on January 20, 2014, 06:02:19 PM
:p yeah...... my bad
I feel bad for people who took to twitter to respond to this without fact checking and are now being quoted/mocked. They don't deserve that. :-\
Mainstream media outlets, on the other hand, deserve to be tarred and feathered for reporting hoaxes.
Now that I've seen all of y'all talking about the mary jane legalization, I am thinking that I can't wait until it's legal in my state. I don't drink, so being able to come home and smoke without worrying about the cops would be great.
Quote from: TheLance on January 20, 2014, 06:13:56 PM
Now that I've seen all of y'all talking about the mary jane legalization, I am thinking that I can't wait until it's legal in my state. I don't drink, so being able to come home and smoke without worrying about the cops would be great.
I'll second that
Quote from: TheLance on January 20, 2014, 06:13:56 PM
Now that I've seen all of y'all talking about the mary jane legalization, I am thinking that I can't wait until it's legal in my state. I don't drink, so being able to come home and smoke without worrying about the cops would be great.
I wouldn't have expected NC to be near that tipping point.
Should other states follow, I would expect Oregon, California, Nevada, and maybe a northeastern state would be next.
I smoked it regularly as an early teen, but quit it when I was sixteen. I did try it with my little sister a few years back on a visit to her house and it made me feel lousy and blah, so don't think I'll be trying it again. I'll stick to sugar highs...
I don't know if I was being paranoid or not, but as I was walking out of an establishment I swear I heard someone say "no, that was a girl."
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 20, 2014, 06:17:34 PM
I smoked it regularly as an early teen, but quit it when I was sixteen. I did try it with my little sister a few years back on a visit to her house and it made me feel lousy and blah, so don't think I'll be trying it again. I'll stick to sugar highs...
I never cared for it, if I wanted a buzz I'd pound a few drinks. Never hyperventilated on a Manhattan!
Right now only medical marijuana is legalized in New York.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 20, 2014, 06:17:34 PM
I smoked it regularly as an early teen, but quit it when I was sixteen. I did try it with my little sister a few years back on a visit to her house and it made me feel lousy and blah, so don't think I'll be trying it again. I'll stick to sugar highs...
I quit at 21, when I started working with kids. The combination didn't sit right with me.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 20, 2014, 06:17:13 PM
I wouldn't have expected NC to be near that tipping point.
Should other states follow, I would expect Oregon, California, Nevada, and maybe a northeastern state would be next.
I'm holding out for Ohio...
I honestly could live with or without it.. I just find that it's absurd that people goto jail for smoking something that is less harmful than alcohol.
I've had my fun with it in the past but it's not worth losing a job over or anything..
Quote from: Sarah Rose on January 20, 2014, 06:26:41 PM
I'm holding out for Ohio...
I honestly could live with or without it.. I just find that it's absurd that people goto jail for smoking something that is less harmful than alcohol.
I've had my fun with it in the past but it's not worth losing a job over or anything..
I view drug laws with a unique disdain.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 20, 2014, 06:28:59 PM
I view drug laws with a unique disdain.
Just big business arresting, trying and incarcerating (warehousing) a lot of hapless do-do's at taxpayer expense.
Hey Shan, looks like you were a little chilly in your avatar. ;) (lol. kidding, love you <3)
Quote from: Shantel on January 20, 2014, 06:31:23 PM
Just big business arresting, trying and incarcerating (warehousing) a lot of hapless do-do's at taxpayer expense.
And it seems to be a contagious industry. We're building prisons up here at a shocking rate to accommodate non-violent mandatory-minimum-serving convicts.
Whatever you think of the drugs in question, the laws are disgraceful. :-\
(cool new av, Shan!)
Quote from: caleb. on January 20, 2014, 06:32:23 PM
Hey Shan, looks like you were a little chilly in your avatar. ;) (lol. kidding, love you <3)
Lol nips?
Quote from: caleb. on January 20, 2014, 06:37:58 PM
haha yes.
I have to get someone to take a decent photo one of these days without a camera that I have to aim.
Quote from: Shantel on January 20, 2014, 06:39:58 PM
I have to get someone to take a decent photo one of these days without a camera that I have to aim.
ah yes the camera conundrum .... been there.
lol since coming out I've been constantly trying on clothes... but not too often someone is around to take a photo for me.
Quote from: Sarah Rose on January 20, 2014, 06:56:52 PM
ah yes the camera conundrum .... been there.
lol since coming out I've been constantly trying on clothes... but not too often someone is around to take a photo for me.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ephotozine.com%2Farticles%2Fvanguard-alto-pro-263at-tripod-19924%2Fimages%2Fhighres-vanguard-263at-collapsed_1346165263.jpg&hash=430516297bd60b4adadf79518c8804dccdccefb6)
Keaira's skeezy landlord changed the locks while she was at work today. So she had nowhere to sleep. She has a hotel room for tonight now, but until she actually checks in I am going to be sick to my stomach with worry. She was going to sleep in her car with a loaded shotgun. You can imagine all the ways that could go wrong. Apparently there was bad weather on the way tonight too. Gah. *worry*
Quote from: caleb. on January 20, 2014, 08:20:50 PM
Keaira's skeezy landlord changed the locks while she was at work today. So she had nowhere to sleep. She has a hotel room for tonight now, but until she actually checks in I am going to be sick to my stomach with worry. She was going to sleep in her car with a loaded shotgun. You can imagine all the ways that could go wrong. Apparently there was bad weather on the way tonight too. Gah. *worry*
Omigod. That's horrible. Why did the landlord do that? Has she contacted the police? :-\
She spoke with the sheriff, she will be able to get her stuff before Friday. Her landlord has a...history. Like trouble with the police history. I'm glad she's out of there but I wish it was under different circumstances.
Quote from: caleb. on January 20, 2014, 08:23:38 PM
She spoke with the sheriff, she will be able to get her stuff before Friday. Her landlord has a...history. Like trouble with the police history. I'm glad she's out of there but I wish it was under different circumstances.
Sounds like grounds for legal action.
Pretty sure it is, yeah. All I care about is that she is OK and has a place to sleep that doesn't involve her car.
It doesn't help that the last time I saw her in person, we were at TDOR. They not only named those killed, but how they were killed. That has influenced my worry and protectiveness a lot.
Quote from: caleb. on January 20, 2014, 08:27:11 PM
It doesn't help that the last time I saw her in person, we were at TDOR. They not only named those killed, but how they were killed. That has influenced my worry and protectiveness a lot.
Just came in on this, don't worry Caleb, she's a big girl. but keep us posted!
Quote from: caleb. on January 20, 2014, 08:27:11 PM
It doesn't help that the last time I saw her in person, we were at TDOR. They not only named those killed, but how they were killed. That has influenced my worry and protectiveness a lot.
I'm dealt with scumlords before. Not a pleasant bit of politics.
We'll be thinking of her.
I need something but im not sure what.. Something emotional.
Quote from: Emo on January 20, 2014, 10:00:52 PM
I need something but im not sure what.. Something emotional.
A hug and a book recommendation.
Try reading "Spiritual Machines" by Ray Kurzweil.
Put it in my notes. Ill check it out.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 20, 2014, 04:54:01 PM
Have you ever road-tripped it over the north shore of Superior?
Just long enough to be asked to leave. I was a runaway at the time.
Trying to cry. Im so close.
I feel really sick to my stomach. Something almost came up, but it's just being stubborn. I can't even try to sleep because when I lay down and relax, I get this really weird feeling throughout my body, almost like when you get so excited that you want to puke.
A guy who I used to go to school with who I'm tempted to lose my virginity to.
Imitation is one of the highest forms of flattery
Quote from: V M on January 21, 2014, 08:54:39 AM
Imitation is one of the highest forms of flattery
Definitely. We all start out emulating someone we look up to, adding our own little personal tweaks as we grow up. :D
After a week without eating I've lost 22 pounds. Had spring rolls today. Feels like I have a tapeworm, I could probably eat 20 springrolls in one go right now.
Imitation is one of the highest forms of flattery
women
Im about to spend $100 on music... Seriously, someone stop me from buying like 10 albums...
buy them, but keep the receipt and don't open them when you receive them for three days. That way, you can send them back if you have buyer's remorse.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 21, 2014, 05:21:24 PM
buy them, but keep the receipt and don't open them when you receive them for three days. That way, you can send them back if you have buyer's remorse.
On itunes.
And i know i want them. Im just going to feel bad for buying that much at once.
Quote from: Emo on January 21, 2014, 05:30:38 PM
On itunes.
And i know i want them. I'm just going to feel bad for buying that much at once.
Nothing wrong with buying a mass quantity of music. Screw it. You only live once.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 21, 2014, 05:46:44 PM
Nothing wrong with buying a mass quantity of music. Screw it. You only live once.
But... I live twice. :c
Do lawyers notarize their own documents?
Quote from: Emo on January 21, 2014, 05:01:41 PM
Imitation is one of the highest forms of flattery
ha!
Quote from: Emo on January 21, 2014, 05:01:41 PM
Imitation is one of the highest forms of flattery
buttes are another
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.volcano.si.edu%2FPhotos%2Ffull%2F030046.jpg&hash=248b9b799399d18422c4efea54d2318c16043785)
Quote from: Gwynne on January 21, 2014, 07:07:09 PM
buttes are another
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.volcano.si.edu%2FPhotos%2Ffull%2F030046.jpg&hash=248b9b799399d18422c4efea54d2318c16043785)
Lamo! :D ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4752721821172702%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=4c2f49a905996fe937d2ae5a3b0f29a217d6492e)
Quote from: V M on January 21, 2014, 08:46:23 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4752721821172702%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=4c2f49a905996fe937d2ae5a3b0f29a217d6492e)
I received a text today that read "Do me a favour and get (our boss) to can me when he has a second"
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 21, 2014, 04:50:53 PM
After a week without eating I've lost 22 pounds. Had spring rolls today. Feels like I have a tapeworm, I could probably eat 20 springrolls in one go right now.
I'm thinking this is unhealthy.
Yeah, why weren't you eating for a week? I went a whole week without a speck food once when I had a kidney infection and lost about the same amount...it really messed me up.
I would eat if I could eat but my throat was too bad. :p Feeling better now and "celebrating" the super power to eat again by eating.
I am thinking that how the cat woke me up by sitting in front of me, starting to throw up a hairball, was NOT a nice way to start the day. Basically jumping naked out of bed, going NONONONONONONONO, running outside with the cat.. just another normal day :D
Running around outside naked with a hairball hacking cat sounds dangerous but gives entertainment to the imagination >:-)
Quote from: V M on January 22, 2014, 02:04:44 AM
Running around outside naked with a hairball hacking cat sounds dangerous but gives entertainment to the imagination >:-)
Especially if your the KAT watching some young lady run around naked outside.
Quote from: LordKAT on January 22, 2014, 02:16:16 AM
Especially if your the KAT watching some young lady run around naked outside.
But.. But it was only once! Howd you see me??
... Wait...
Mp3 players seem like pretty interesting devices. I wouldn't know how to work the thing. Same goes for Ipods. I can't tell the difference. The technology is just out of my scope of comprehension.
Anyone German around? I need help with a translation thing. Everything I find says "Du bist toll" means "You are wonderful" or "You are great." I can't find anything that indicates any sort of intimate connotation. Yet, my friend is insisting it is only supposed to be used for intimate relationships.
Quote from: Edge on January 22, 2014, 06:26:28 AM
Anyone German around? I need help with a translation thing. Everything I find says "Du bist toll" means "You are wonderful" or "You are great." I can't find anything that indicates any sort of intimate connotation. Yet, my friend is insisting it is only supposed to be used for intimate relationships.
I'm not German, but I do have a thing for languages :) It also means "You are amazing" - So think about it, if someone has been intimate with another and they respond "You are wonderful" or "You are great" or "You are amazing" it's kinda like saying "You rock my world"... Starting to make sense?
Not really. Is it only used in that sense or even mostly used in that sense?
It's kinda like in English when the same sentence can have a different meaning depending on when and how it is used, but generally it means that someone is really good at doing something or very well liked for some reason
I believe it is mostly used in a generally friendly way but can also be used in an intimate situation
Well, in this situation, it was very clearly meant in a generally friendly way.
Right on, hopefully I helped some :)
Yeah thanks. Unfortunately, now I know my friend made a big deal out of me merely saying something nice to her. I do not like this.
Oh I get it, you were just trying to be nice and she took it the wrong way
I've had that kind of thing happen before, it's a real pain and makes for an awkward situation
Arrrgh, hate it when that kinda stuff happens
Oh yeah. I am very tempted to tell her she's full of herself, but settled instead for informing her that I have confirmed that she is incorrect and that I shall no longer be saying anything nice to her at all in case she reads too much into it.
Okay, I was going to recommend something like this, but If you got it handled already, never mind
Es tut uns leid, wenn Sie nahm es der falsche Weg, aber ich bin nur ein Freund, mehr nicht - Sorry if you took it the wrong way, but I'm just a friend, nothing more
By using the Sie formal you are signifying that she is not someone close to you where as du is informal and signifies a friendship or relation of sorts
Oh she doesn't speak German as far as I know, so she wouldn't understand that anyway.
I did tell her that in English.
Oddly enough, in the same "I feel uncomfortable" speech, she also said she thinks of me as a brother which makes the whole thing especially awkward for me because I like her, but I don't like her that much.
Right on, just let it cool out awhile and don't worry on it
Thanks for your help, VM.
Hugs
Quote from: Malachite on January 22, 2014, 02:41:59 AM
Mp3 players seem like pretty interesting devices. I wouldn't know how to work the thing. Same goes for Ipods. I can't tell the difference. The technology is just out of my scope of comprehension.
I don't have an Ipod. I do have a cheap MP3 player that my mom bought me for Christmas. It's easy enough to operate BUT it does have this one stupid quirk: It has a 5 band EQ in it, that the manual doesn't even mention. When you access this EQ, you can't go to each individual band to adjust it. It is REALLY annoying. All I can do is cut the lowest Bass band all the way down and that is it. If I could cut down both of the Bass bands, increase the two Treble bands and leave the Mids set at flat, it would sound much better.
I used to have a sandisk mp3 player. It was decent but it wouldnt connect to a computer at all. Then got an ipod touch.. My sister ate it. Then an ipod nano and left it at my parents house.
Now i have an iphone but i dont have nearly enough space.
Might need to upgrade after a while.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 22, 2014, 11:27:17 AM
I don't have an Ipod. I do have a cheap MP3 player that my mom bought me for Christmas. It's easy enough to operate BUT it does have this one stupid quirk: It has a 5 band EQ in it, that the manual doesn't even mention. When you access this EQ, you can't go to each individual band to adjust it. It is REALLY annoying. All I can do is cut the lowest Bass band all the way down and that is it. If I could cut down both of the Bass bands, increase the two Treble bands and leave the Mids set at flat, it would sound much better.
yup, that just went over my head :D
Making some actual progress on writing this morning. I'm actually quite happy with myself, because the last couple days, I wake up and get kinda depressed...go shower, then lay back in bed to dry off only for like 3 or 4 hours to pass. Then I spend more of the day feeling bad about myself. I forced myself after my shower to get dressed right away and sit down in front of the books. I can finish off this chapter probably by the end of the weekend. Then I have to finish off the horrible lit review. But then the fun chapter! And then the conclusion. Lol. As I see it, I just have to get through this one and the crappy lit review, and after that, the end is sooo in sight. And I'll submit it and defend it and then have a Master's degree!!!
Good luck and congrats Caleb!
Quote from: caleb. on January 22, 2014, 11:56:09 AM
Making some actual progress on writing this morning. I'm actually quite happy with myself, because the last couple days, I wake up and get kinda depressed...go shower, then lay back in bed to dry off only for like 3 or 4 hours to pass. Then I spend more of the day feeling bad about myself. I forced myself after my shower to get dressed right away and sit down in front of the books. I can finish off this chapter probably by the end of the weekend. Then I have to finish off the horrible lit review. But then the fun chapter! And then the conclusion. Lol. As I see it, I just have to get through this one and the crappy lit review, and after that, the end is sooo in sight. And I'll submit it and defend it and then have a Master's degree!!!
That's wonderful, you're getting focused with your eye on the goal! Uh - Erm, I hope you don't expect us to call you master..lol! :D :laugh: ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptRxrH1rVK8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptRxrH1rVK8)
I'm trying to remember how cold -14°C is because I want to go for a walk.
I've never seen so many thumbs down in the last 5 reputation changes. It's almost all red.
Susan is online.
Hmm. Never seen that before.
Quote from: Emo on January 23, 2014, 12:24:04 AM
Susan is online.
Hmm. Never seen that before.
She's on quite regularly. :)
Sue is on most of the time, she streams the site for security issues etc.
I also keep and eye on you all :icon_2gun: :icon_invision: :icon_yikes:
I just realized something!
The last little while, I was thinking "so what exactly did I think about before I knew about transition?" You know, cause a lot of my energy is spent wondering how I might deal with future idiots or how I should have dealt with past idiots. But when I really thought about it, I remembered what took up a lot of my energy. I worried a lot about how my grandpa treats my grandma. I obsessed over how to deal with idiot customers. So what, really, is the difference between worrying over transphobic idiots and abusive or rude idiots? Same deal! Common denominator is that I spent time worrying about how to either control other people's actions, or control how they think about myself or other things. I tossed my worries about my grandpa aside and just stopped seeing him when he gets abusive, and I don't deal with customers anymore because I have different jobs now.
That's good news to me! Because that proves that I can let stuff to do with other people stop bothering me if I can get my mind into a different place. I've done it before. So surely, I can reach a place where I care less about transphobic fools - whether that's by getting further along in transition and successfully going 100% stealth, or, by focussing on other things.
Wondering what else I'm going to do this summer, besides about 2 weeks in Mexico or Argentina. Probably work a minimum wage job, again. Eew, do not want.
Quote from: Edge on January 22, 2014, 12:32:03 PMI'm trying to remember how cold -14°C is because I want to go for a walk.
Come here for a demonstration haha! Haven't trained the horses for weeks because of the cold. Blergh.
Dysphoria.
Lolz I can't stop thinking about that guy. I can't help it I'm so romantically attracted to him. It's not like I've ever said two words to him before wtf. Maybe I'll text him.
But not now I'm too scared.
Uhoh......Malachite has found his way to the online game "Hot Dog Bush"
You know when he has to leave his somewhat warm and comfy bed to go to the cold and uncomfy kitchen to have a better posture to play a game that it's on!
I used to play this game a lot in high school.
I'm going to see of I can get through all 5 stages like I used to.
I was much younger back then and it was hard. Now that I'm older, I have more problems with hand, eye coordination, but we will see.
Nope, nevermind as none of them seem to be working properly. >.>
Been considering a new avatar, i dunno what do you think?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F800x600q90%2F15%2F0d4z.jpg&hash=117d94c9455a39903c40e6a0c15614f068a2d903) (https://imageshack.com/i/0f0d4zj)
Quote from: Shantel on January 23, 2014, 11:31:33 AM
Been considering a new avatar, i dunno what do you think?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F800x600q90%2F15%2F0d4z.jpg&hash=117d94c9455a39903c40e6a0c15614f068a2d903) (https://imageshack.com/i/0f0d4zj)
sexy
Quote from: Shantel on January 23, 2014, 11:31:33 AM
Been considering a new avatar, i dunno what do you think?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F800x600q90%2F15%2F0d4z.jpg&hash=117d94c9455a39903c40e6a0c15614f068a2d903) (https://imageshack.com/i/0f0d4zj)
Has a certain presence!
Quote from: Shantel on January 23, 2014, 11:31:33 AM
Been considering a new avatar, i dunno what do you think?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2F800x600q90%2F15%2F0d4z.jpg&hash=117d94c9455a39903c40e6a0c15614f068a2d903) (https://imageshack.com/i/0f0d4zj)
It really exudes your feminine presence, Shan. :P Lol.
Quote from: caleb. on January 23, 2014, 01:58:59 PM
It really exudes your feminine presence, Shan. :P Lol.
I knew y'all ud like it, watch out fer muh pet gator over yonder him don't bresh his teeth! ;D
I can see Old Caleb looking like that, no joke, lol.
Quote from: caleb. on January 23, 2014, 02:08:06 PM
I can see Old Caleb looking like that, no joke, lol.
I've got too much time on my hands today sorry, I'm outa here!
If there's any chest rug growth happenin' I'd like to join.
Actually, I am. I used to shave it because there was a ton and it was itchy, but I stopped for two reasons. First of all because I have my surgery consult soon and I feel odd about showing the surgeon hairless boobs. Secondly, Keaira asked me to consider stopping shaving my body hair. When I was there, she made a comment about my hair so I shaved it off that night - the next day, she said it being shaved was absolutely horrible. In her words, it was "like snuggling a steel wool brush." Lmao.
I'm jealous, lol. I want more body hair soo baaadlyyyy.
Quote from: TheLance on January 23, 2014, 02:17:58 PMI'm jealous, lol. I want more body hair soo baaadlyyyy.
Take mine. PLEAAASE!!!
It just doesn't stop growing!
Quote from: TheLance on January 23, 2014, 02:17:58 PM
I'm jealous, lol. I want more body hair soo baaadlyyyy.
Quote from: Willow on January 23, 2014, 02:34:39 PM
Take mine. PLEAAASE!!!
It just doesn't stop growing!
yeah pretty much ,,, im sure every mtf would love to give you her body hair...
god I really cant understand how someone would want body hair XD
I finally got Hot Dog Bush to work
Omg that game is so addicting. It has my right bicep sore from so much clicking.
Give me all the body hair yall don't want, lol. The more the better for me.
I am thinking these cis looking kids keep posting fantastic pictures here and I am going to the Nursing Home to eat Jello all day and forget it. ;D How can we possible compare even a little? ::) Pure jealousy here! :)
Jessica you are beautiful! At least you are happy and free! I still haven't come out. I'd rather be eating jello at the nursing home hearing stories of the good old days. Hehe
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on January 23, 2014, 02:47:01 PM
I am thinking these cis looking kids keep posting fantastic pictures here and I am going to the Nursing Home to eat Jello all day and forget it. ;D How can we possible compare even a little? ::) Pure jealousy here! :)
Bah! I'm jealous of
you. There's nothing masculine about your face at all. I hope mine looks that good on HRT.
Also, to all the FTMs wanting body hair, I have
plenty to spare. It's like a forest on my chest.
Malachite and I will be taking body hair donations! Who wants to buy the glue?
Quote from: Willow on January 23, 2014, 02:34:39 PM
Take mine. PLEAAASE!!!
It just doesn't stop growing!
Hahaha, and mine! Especially my stache and my belly hairs! Gosh, seems like the people who actually are hairy are like BOO hair and the hairless ones are like YAY HAIR! :p
I'll donate all my back hair, that should cover Lance and Malachite's chests for a lifetime. -_- lol
Quote from: caleb. on January 23, 2014, 03:09:08 PM
I'll donate all my back hair, that should cover Lance and Malachite's chests for a lifetime. -_- lol
Awesome! I'd look like a werewolf. ;D
Sweeeet. I'll take that.
Apparently if the surgeon thinks someone is cisgender, they can get an appointment for breast enhancement or gynecomastia no problem. That's what I was told when I was perceived as a cis man on the phone! Get the family doc to send a referral and we'll get you in right away. But if the referral is from the gender clinic, they're suddenly all booked up and not even taking more patients. Seriously, f* them so hard!!!!
Quote from: caleb. on January 23, 2014, 03:43:38 PM
Apparently if the surgeon thinks someone is cisgender, they can get an appointment for breast enhancement or gynecomastia no problem. That's what I was told when I was perceived as a cis man on the phone! Get the family doc to send a referral and we'll get you in right away. But if the referral is from the gender clinic, they're suddenly all booked up and not even taking more patients. Seriously, f* them so hard!!!!
I hate that. We have to jump through hoops to get our treatment for a medical reason, but people can walk in and get breast implants no problem.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 23, 2014, 08:43:51 AM
Come here for a demonstration haha! Haven't trained the horses for weeks because of the cold. Blergh.
Nah. That's what temperature it was here when I checked. I couldn't remember whether it was "Hahaha it's almost like spring!" weather or "maybe I should take the bus" weather. Turns out I procrastinated long enough for the sun to go down and decided to take the bus.
Quote from: Edge on January 23, 2014, 04:10:34 PM
I hate that. We have to jump through hoops to get our treatment for a medical reason, but people can walk in and get breast implants no problem.
What I hate the most is that the woman who answered the phone lied to my doctor's face (well, her ear, since it was on the phone :P). Telling her they had no more room for patients, when she told me, thinking I was cis, that it was not a problem. Just say that you don't work with transsexuals and be done with it, so none of waste our precious time waiting to give you our business.
Yeah that sucks.
I am very tempted today to go into a megalomaniac rant, but I haven't (at least, not yet). I figure it would be a bad idea if I did. At least, not when people think I'm serious. If I do it when I cosplay as Loki, they'll think I'm just acting. I'm not acting.
Interestingly, I still have had no noticeable change in libido from the T. I also haven't mellowed out. Obviously.
Is facebook broken for everyone right now or just me? For some reason, I there is nothing on my news feed.
Think of your head as an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone.
- Augusten Burroughs
I wish be seen as who I really am. I wish I could look like myself. While I'm at it, I also want power and a pony. I was kidding about the pony.
I'm kind of confused about my friends.
-One accused me of being attracted to her because I said something nice to her despite knowing that I've only been attracted to one person in four years and he is not her. This confuses me as well as the revulsion I now feel towards her. Such deep disgust on my part seems like a bit of an overreaction.
-A couple of my friends claimed I was close/like family. One even told me he considered me a close friend before I even knew we were friends. It's not that I mind so much as it's too fast for me and caught me off guard. I know I'm more cautious than most (I didn't even know D was my friend until a few months after we met), but I know this is too fast even for a normal person.
-One of my friends insinuated that I would not like to see what's inside his head. Now I'm even more curious. I'm... confused isn't quite the right word, but close enough... about this because why would he think I of all people would be afraid of what is in his head?
Is it wrong that i want someone next to me when i sleep?
I dont know why i suddenly want this kind of thing. Ive never had it before to want the experience... But even so, i feel like i miss it...
Quote from: Emo on January 24, 2014, 01:07:21 AM
Is it wrong that i want someone next to me when i sleep?
I dont know why i suddenly want this kind of thing. Ive never had it before to want the experience... But even so, i feel like i miss it...
Girls need that kind of affection ,,, I guess :-X
Id like to have someone to sleep with too :/
It wouldnt have to be necessarily a boyfriend/girlfriend ,a little sister /bro or a pet or whatever would be fine I guess XD
Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 24, 2014, 01:15:36 AM
Girls need that kind of affection ,,, I guess :-X
Id like to have someone to sleep with too :/
It wouldnt have to be necessarily a boyfriend/girlfriend ,a little sister /bro or a pet or whatever would be fine I guess XD
I never thought of it before. I thought i was just lonely in general.. But after spending time with my friends, i guess i didnt want to go in a way. I wanted someone to stay... For once...
But ive come to realize in my life, friendships tend not to last. Not usually because we dont like each other.. But we always drift apart in some way...
That was a tangent... But its what im thinking about i guess.
Quote from: Emo on January 24, 2014, 01:21:05 AM
I never thought of it before. I thought i was just lonely in general.. But after spending time with my friends, i guess i didnt want to go in a way. I wanted someone to stay... For once...
But ive come to realize in my life, friendships tend not to last. Not usually because we dont like each other.. But we always drift apart in some way...
That was a tangent... But its what im thinking about i guess.
Yeah I know that feel ,
like for example wouldnt it be awesome if you d live together in a big house with all your friends and family?
Some people can get used to being alone,but life its much more better with people you love by your side.
My family would not get along with my friends. But i get what youre saying...
Altho id be happy with just one person.
Quote from: alabamagirl on January 24, 2014, 01:29:37 AM
You're a sweet girl, Noelle. You'll definitely find a guy who will love and cherish you, and keep you from feeling lonely the rest of your life. That's how I feel about my girlfriend. I know you'll find someone who feels that way about you, too. *hugs*
Thanks AG.
That means a lot to me..
If there was hope for me, there is hope for anyone! :p
Yesterday, I was just in such a bad state of mind that I cooked some chicken nuggets...I followed the instructions perfectly, and ate about 6. Usually I'm anal about good hygiene but I felt so sad I just couldn't be arsed to cut them in half, I figured the instructions could be trusted. My mom came home and asked what raw nuggets were doing on the counter. She broke them in half and they were entirely pink and fleshy inside. So...yeah. I didn't get sick last night, but I do have some stomach cramps and feel a little off. And apparently food poisoning can be delayed 2-5 days.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 22, 2014, 10:04:09 PM
Lifetime movie of the week? Nah. More like pulp romance.
Actually, the sig quote comes from a fic I wrote entitled: "The Lesson". There was a subplot in this story where Rebecca (Laura's mother) tries to convince Portia that coming out to her mother would be a good idea. Portia is terrified of this idea but Rebecca takes it upon herself to speak to Sharon (Portia's mother) about this. As it turns out, Sharon and David (Portia's father) have suspected something for quite some time.
Eventually, Sharon and Rebecca meet up with Laura, Portia and Kathy after school. Rebecca makes it known to Portia that she has let the cat out of the bag. Portia is relieved to discover that her mother doesn't care about the fact that she is a lesbian. That leads to a little discussion about that whole issue. This conversation is where Kathy says the bit that is in the sig quote.
I actually had no intention of writing anything like that when I started this series. But one thing led to another all on its own and here we are.
Was in the newspaper today. Whole page. That's the 6th time since December I believe.
Got a doctor's appointment Monday. I'm scared, but at the same time I need to know what I got going on so when I get my consultation with Dr. Garramone, I can give him a better assessment of my health problems. I hate having my blood drawn though....I hate it with a passion. I got to get it done though.
In other news, the Mavericks Invitational surfing events come on in less than one minute. I love watching live surfing on tv. It's rare to come by. I played Kelly Slater's pro surfer and surved the Mavericks waves on there.
Today I checked an apartment that it was like a dream. Sadly my father did not approve the idea of having removed the kitchen to make a gigantic dining / living room and have a makeshift kitchen in a closed terrace (no reselling value?). Now I have found the same one with the original configuration and better home appliances, but in a third floor instead of a first (no lift). Funny, now just the problem of my father not wanting me to live close to him and having a chance of seeing me in female presentation. And we already had a fight because of that today: Limiting where I can live as if a restraining order existed. He keeps showing me zones I don't want to live in. In the end, If I can't live in the capital, I am attracted to my old hometown.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 24, 2014, 02:15:52 PM
Was in the newspaper today. Whole page. That's the 6th time since December I believe.
Must feel good to be famous, now if only fortune would follow huh?
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 24, 2014, 02:15:52 PM
Was in the newspaper today. Whole page. That's the 6th time since December I believe.
Have to ask. What is drawing all of the media scrutiny? 8)
Quote from: Gwynne on January 24, 2014, 08:33:27 PM
Have to ask. What is drawing all of the media scrutiny? 8)
I'm guessing cuteness. One the pictures is of Kittens in a sleigh right?
I'm always into creepy things, but for some reason, today I'm
really craving creepy things and can't seem to find enough. Living vicariously though fiction again I guess.
Wondering if a uterus transplant would ever be possible...
Quote from: Emo on January 25, 2014, 01:58:39 AM
Wondering if a uterus transplant would ever be possible...
Probably but it sounds like too much trouble. And you'd still not be able to produce biological offspring.
I figure it will likely be at least another month to a month and a half before I actually get a whole day off. lets hope I don't go off the deep end beforehand, lol. It would be nice to sleep in at least one or two days right now, but I can't. sigh
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 25, 2014, 02:19:55 AM
Probably but it sounds like too much trouble. And you'd still not be able to produce biological offspring.
Thanks.. That gives me hope... -__-
Quote from: Emo on January 25, 2014, 08:04:27 AM
Thanks.. That gives me hope... -__-
Least you don't have to deal with this:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-029gT1IacbQ/UWr0Btb570I/AAAAAAAAM9U/wmJ51R1tN-I/s1600/528247_4653661581301_715531768_n.jpg
(Warning: May or may not contain profanity)
And turns out I forgot that video that was online in December, that makes it 7 times? I just can't shut up and the journalists likes that! Lol! Nono, it's about traffic safety :)
Quote from: Emo on January 25, 2014, 01:58:39 AM
Wondering if a uterus transplant would ever be possible...
Unfortunately you would always have to worry about rejection and taking daily meds to combat it. One day though maybe! :)
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 25, 2014, 03:06:16 AM
I figure it will likely be at least another month to a month and a half before I actually get a whole day off. lets hope I don't go off the deep end beforehand, lol. It would be nice to sleep in at least one or two days right now, but I can't. sigh
Hang in there Jaime, you'll probably have to compensate by crashing earlier in the evening.
Quote from: Emo on January 25, 2014, 08:04:27 AM
Thanks.. That gives me hope... -__-
I'm just sayin how it is. >.> lol. Even if it were possible now you'd have to take a bunch of anti-rejection drugs (which aren't good you and aren't recommended during pregnancy) and if you were pregnant you probably wouldn't have wide enough hips so they'd have to cut you open AGAIN to take out the baby. (and possibly uterus because after awhile you'll get sick of the drugs, people have stopped them for amputated limbs) That's beside the fact that all of it would cost A LOT. It's just not worth it, even if it's some weird clone uterus and you don't need drugs.
So srry. Transwomen having genetic eggs does look promising though.
It would be neat if people one day could swap organs just like that though. I'd gladly donate away some of mine for people who need them more than me lol.
You guys really know how to cheer me up. -__-
This is a strange kind of dysphoria... Because i want something i can never have...
One more post now Emo. ONE MORE POST. That counter, eeeee!!
http://f.kulfoto.com/pic/0001/0045/q04Iv44014.jpg
Here. A sneezing cat photobomb to cheer you up.
I don't know if I will ever have it in me to treat myself. I was going to buy a Little Ceasar's deep dish pizza, but then I settld for a small frozen pizza that my nephew eats when he's over here. It was nasty, but at least it's free. I got to think of that $200 + I will have to spend for the extended warranty on my laptop. By the way, I need to definately take this laptop of to Best Buy next week in order to get a new battery and charger if I can.
Quote from: Emo on January 25, 2014, 10:18:33 AM
You guys really know how to cheer me up. -__-
This is a strange kind of dysphoria... Because i want something i can never have...
What's that sweetie?
Quote from: FA on January 25, 2014, 10:57:42 AM
What's that sweetie?
Sometimes it is sad when you know you can't grow a baby inside you. :(
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 25, 2014, 11:00:40 AM
Sometimes it is sad when you know you can't grow a baby inside you. :(
But then again, that happens more than just occasionally to cisgendered people aswell. Biology is a heartless bastard like that.
I ve heard that it hurts a lot...
Id do it if I could!!
lol
So I needed to find some papers for my thesis...I finally organized my huge, unruly pile into smaller more organized piles. And well. Not only are the papers I need not there (must be in my locker...), I now feel so intimated by the huge amount and want to cry haha.
I dont care about pain. A pregnancy is a miracle that i would love to experience. Knowing that child literally came from me would be an amazing feeling.
Quote from: caleb. on January 25, 2014, 11:12:08 AM
So I needed to find some papers for my thesis...I finally organized my huge, unruly pile into smaller more organized piles. And well. Not only are the papers I need not there (must be in my locker...), I now feel so intimated by the huge amount and want to cry haha.
Caleb, what's your thesis topic?
Quote from: Emo on January 25, 2014, 11:14:31 AM
I dont care about pain. A pregnancy is a miracle that i would love to experience. Knowing that child literally came from me would be an amazing feeling.
I bet it would be amazing , I mean you ve seen how monthers bond with their childs...
still for us there adoption,,,at least , i guess ...
PM'd you Gwynne. :)
As for all the people who wish they could get pregnant...I get the idea of wanting the choice, like most cis women, but I can't comprehend why anyone, cis or trans, would want to got through all that *shudder*
Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 25, 2014, 11:16:39 AM
I bet it would be amazing , I mean you ve seen how monthers bond with their childs...
still for us there adoption,,,at least , i guess ...
About 4 years ago I realised I didn't want to pass down my genes, and that there are too many children who deserve a loving family.
I don't have to give birth or even toilet train them, although I would want to (ok toilet train maybe not) I would be OK with taking in a toddler, even a teenager. As long as I get the feeling of being a mother, holding a child close, be there for them, love them, and have them love me back, and know I am doing something good, saving a young boy from life in a gang, or a young girl from being sold into prostitution. Best yet, give them a life, an education, amd give me someone to be proud of, and say "yep, that's my kid!" when they win the school geography bee, or score the game winning goal on the pitch, or succeed in whatever they so desire to pursue.
Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 25, 2014, 11:16:39 AM
I bet it would be amazing , I mean you ve seen how monthers bond with their childs...
still for us there adoption,,,at least , i guess ...
I might go for that if i really think i can do it..
But its more about that maternal connection between birther and child im so curious about.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 25, 2014, 11:00:40 AM
Quote from: FA on January 25, 2014, 10:57:42 AM
What's that sweetie?
Sometimes it is sad when you know you can't grow a baby inside you. :(
aww. that is sad. :(
Quote from: Emo on January 25, 2014, 11:14:31 AM
I dont care about pain. A pregnancy is a miracle that i would love to experience. Knowing that child literally came from you would be an amazing feeling.
Yeah, I imagine it would be. But some cis women use surrogates. Sperm or egg, it doesn't matter. I know it would never be the same, but the child would still come from you.
Quote from: caleb. on January 25, 2014, 11:20:48 AM
PM'd you Gwynne. :)
As for all the people who wish they could get pregnant...I get the idea of wanting the choice, like most cis women, but I can't comprehend why anyone, cis or trans, would want to got through all that *shudder*
Because its more than just flesh and bones. There would be a soul growing inside.
Quote from: FA on January 25, 2014, 11:25:39 AM
Yeah, I imagine it would be. But some cis women use surrogates. Sperm or egg, it doesn't matter. I know it would never be the same, but the child would still come from you.
I understand that but its more the physical aspect. If i get a surrogate, i wouldnt be putting my own strength and will into bringing a child, my child, into this world.
I'm trying to come up with a transitional sentence and for some reason it's just so hard.
Quote from: Emo on January 25, 2014, 11:28:37 AM
Quote from: FA on January 25, 2014, 11:25:39 AM
Yeah, I imagine it would be. But some cis women use surrogates. Sperm or egg, it doesn't matter. I know it would never be the same, but the child would still come from you.
I understand that but its more the physical aspect. If i get a surrogate, i wouldnt be putting my own strength and will into bringing a child, my child, into this world.
aww a lot of sorrow there. :'(
Ughhhhhhhhh I'm still thinking about that guy, all day everyday. It's even more invasive than my dysphoria. I find him very emotionally and physically attractive. >.>
And I totally wanna hook up with him.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 25, 2014, 11:52:32 AMUghhhhhhhhh I'm still thinking about that guy, all day everyday. It's even more invasive than my dysphoria. I find him very emotionally and physically attractive. >.>
Did the same with one guy, who left me before anything even started.
And then the next week I find out he's engaged the "the love of his life," (this girl has claimed to have 4 of them. At the same time. Without the others knowing.) and is having her move from Detroit to London to be with him.
Quote from: Willow on January 25, 2014, 11:56:33 AM
Did the same with one guy, who left me before anything even started.
And then the next week I find out he's engaged the "the love of his life," (this girl has claimed to have 4 of them. At the same time. Without the others knowing.) and is having her move from Detroit to London to be with him.
**hugs**
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 25, 2014, 11:52:32 AM
Ughhhhhhhhh I'm still thinking about that guy, all day everyday. It's even more invasive than my dysphoria. I find him very emotionally and physically attractive. >.>
And I totally wanna hook up with him.
I'm in the same boat. Which is odd because I find the idea repulsive most of the time.
Quote from: Willow on January 25, 2014, 11:56:33 AM
Did the same with one guy, who left me before anything even started.
And then the next week I find out he's engaged the "the love of his life," (this girl has claimed to have 4 of them. At the same time. Without the others knowing.) and is having her move from Detroit to London to be with him.
Ugh. I used to have some friends like that. They'd claim to be engaged, cheat on their supposed fiance(e)s, then start dating the person they were cheating with, then claim to be engaged...
I could describe in detail how unpleasant it is be pregnant if you like. Seriously, no one ever describes how uncomfortable, painful, and gross it is.
This may just be me, but I think adopting a kid would make a person just as connected. To be honest, I didn't feel all that connected to my son until I held him.
Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2014, 12:01:11 PM**hugs**
I'm very conflicted, because I don't have a home; I wander around, and know no other way.
I'm torn between settling down and starting a family, and roaming free, both which I want to do so badly but don't know how to do either truly.
Quote from: Edge on January 25, 2014, 12:17:56 PMUgh. I used to have some friends like that. They'd claim to be engaged, cheat on their supposed fiance(e)s, then start dating the person they were cheating with, then claim to be engaged...
I could describe in detail how unpleasant it is be pregnant if you like. Seriously, no one ever describes how uncomfortable, painful, and gross it is.
This may just be me, but I think adopting a kid would make a person just as connected. To be honest, I didn't feel all that connected to my son until I held him.
I didn't expect anything serious to happen for the next 2.5 years, when I plan to go to the UK for graduate school, but he didn't se it that way. He just wanted someone to f*** sooner than later, I guess.
See my earlier post about adoption. Similar kind of feeling.
Quote from: Edge on January 25, 2014, 12:17:56 PM
I could describe in detail how unpleasant it is be pregnant if you like. Seriously, no one ever describes how uncomfortable, painful, and gross it is.
This may just be me, but I think adopting a kid would make a person just as connected. To be honest, I didn't feel all that connected to my son until I held him.
What's it really like? I heard they use scissors down there to make sure the opening's large enough or something. <gulp>
Quote from: FA on January 25, 2014, 12:26:51 PM
What's it really like? I heard they use scissors down there to make sure the opening's large enough or something. <gulp>
An episiotomy. I feel like I need one the day after eating too much sharp cheddar cheese, buuuut we won't go there, it's another matter. :D ;D
No, you're hardly from the only woman that feels that way. I actually read about this woman:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2303588/The-mother-says-having-children-biggest-regret-life.html
If I was a cisgender woman, I could see that being me, lol. Being like "oh yeah I guess I'll have kids...meh..." and then having them and finding out that, indeed, the motherly instinct was still lacking. I'd be like her too...I wouldn't let my resentment or distaste stop me from being a good parent, I'd do the best I could to raise happy and well-adjusted kids, but it wouldn't give me any joy personally.
Quote from: Shantel on January 25, 2014, 12:30:03 PM
An episiotomy. I feel like I need one the day after eating too much sharp cheddar cheese, buuuut we won't go there, it's another matter. :D ;D
OMG GAG. lol!
Quote from: caleb. on January 25, 2014, 12:31:16 PM
OMG GAG. lol!
TMI huh? Seems we went through the process of unclogging someone's toilet, now that's a real GAG..PUKE! lol :D
Well that, combined with the talk of "snipping" is just...lol. The first time I heard they have to "snip" down there sometimes with delivery...I nearly died, and it never horrifies me any less.
Quote from: Willow on January 25, 2014, 12:25:25 PM
I'm torn between settling down and starting a family, and roaming free, both which I want to do so badly but don't know how to do either
I understand that feeling. Which do you feel is the best route for you to take at this time?
Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2014, 12:37:52 PMI understand that feeling. Which do you feel is the best route for you to take at this time?
I wish I didn't have to go to college, and could just travel, fall in love, and hope that any children I'd adopt would fit into my lifestyle, but that isn't realistic at all.
Quote from: Willow on January 25, 2014, 12:50:30 PM
I wish I didn't have to go to college, and could just travel, fall in love, and hope that any children I'd adopt would fit into my lifestyle, but that isn't realistic at all.
At least it's cinematic. I wish some rich person can give me 2 billion dollars so I wouldn't have to work and I could go straight into my transition.
Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2014, 12:56:22 PMAt least it's cinematic. I wish some rich person can give me 2 billion dollars so I wouldn't have to work and I could go straight into my transition.
Get thee to a sugar momeee!
:D
Quote from: Willow on January 25, 2014, 12:58:46 PM
Get thee to a sugar momeee!
:D
I wouldn't mind being adopted by some rich mother. :D
Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2014, 01:00:35 PMI wouldn't mind being adopted by some rich mother. :D
Would be cool :D
My big issue is I'd need money to travel. Where would that come from? Who knows, if all I wanted to do was travel. Must work *sigh*
Plus if I did settle down and make a family, while still travelling, there's always the chance of what happened to my parents happening
Quote from: Willow on January 25, 2014, 01:05:29 PM
Would be cool :D
My big issue is I'd need money to travel. Where would that come from? Who knows, if all I wanted to do was travel. Must work *sigh*
Plus if I did settle down and make a family, while still travelling, there's always the chance of what happened to my parents happening
Maybe you need a special sugar father too. ;)
Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2014, 01:24:27 PMMaybe you need a special sugar father too. ;)
It's a shuga daddy, btw ;)
And not apt for selling myself. I'd rather have a true, loving relationship. Someone to start a family with.
Quote from: Willow on January 25, 2014, 01:27:37 PM
It's a shuga daddy, btw ;)
And not apt for selling myself. I'd rather have a true, loving relationship. Someone to start a family with.
I think it could happen for you. :)
On the subject of episiotomies, the thing is they're supposedly the slightly better alternative to tearing which often happens. Not only is there tearing or cutting (or both if one is really unlucky), but then it needs to be stitched up after. I was in pain for several weeks.
Not everyone wants kids. That doesn't make them horrible. What would be horrible is if they had kids and then treated them badly.
Quote from: Edge on January 25, 2014, 02:04:18 PM
On the subject of episiotomies, the thing is they're supposedly the slightly better alternative to tearing which often happens. Not only is there tearing or cutting (or both if one is really unlucky), but then it needs to be stitched up after. I was in pain for several weeks.
Not fun I'm sure, sorry hon, beats tearing though! My daughter-in-law's doc was too busy watching the world series and she tore so bad it took 31 stitches to repair the damage. We could have killed the jerk!
Quote from: Edge on January 25, 2014, 02:04:18 PM
Not everyone wants kids. That doesn't make them horrible. What would be horrible is if they had kids and then treated them badly.
Amen to that, there's so much of that in the news, it's sickening and heart breaking! There's a few women that deserve to have it sewed shut permanently.
The longer I work in education, the angrier I become over the state of parenting. Do it right or opt out. :-\
My mother just informed me that someone took my beat-down mattress that we put on the side of the road. I wonder who took it and what they are going to do with it.
Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2014, 04:55:15 PM
My mother just informed me that someone took my beat-down mattress that we put on the side of the road. I wonder who took it and what they are going to do with it.
I thought you were gonna say someone took a beat-down for you. O.o
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 25, 2014, 05:02:13 PM
I thought you were gonna say someone took a beat-down for you. O.o
Would you do the honors? ::)
Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2014, 04:55:15 PM
My mother just informed me that someone took my beat-down mattress that we put on the side of the road. I wonder who took it and what they are going to do with it.
My guess is, they'll do a bit of clean up on it and sell it in a used furniture store. Apparently these folks make a pretty good living doing this, nothing I put out of this sort remains before the city has a chance to pick it up.
"One man's junk is another man's treasure."
Quote from: Nikko on January 25, 2014, 06:02:50 PM
My guess is, they'll do a bit of clean up on it and sell it in a used furniture store. Apparently these folks make a pretty good living doing this, nothing I put out of this sort remains before the city has a chance to pick it up.
If they could work magic on that 10 + year old raggity mattress then I'd be surprised. I think it's cool though how people take the stuff I throw out. I'd rather them get it than the city. My mom put out two freezers and they were both gone within 24 hours. I saw one guy even load one of the freezers on a truck and drive off lol. My mom threw out some pillows today as well. I hope somebody gets them as I don't think the pillows were too bad.
Quote from: Nikko on January 25, 2014, 06:02:50 PM
My guess is, they'll do a bit of clean up on it and sell it in a used furniture store. Apparently these folks make a pretty good living doing this, nothing I put out of this sort remains before the city has a chance to pick it up.
"One man's junk is another man's treasure."
This is very true. We have loads of those big bins where you can donate clothes around here. They're brilliant. So many people who are in need of whatever we're throwing away.
I also have a very beaten up bed. It's been used and abused up until the point where it requires a certain amount of balance for you to be able to sleep in it unless you want to get seasick. But whenever I have friends over and they try both my big bed (big enough for two) and the smaller scruffy one, they prefer the smaller one as it's so comfy it's ridiculous. That's also why I just can't throw it out lol.
An MMA league that consists of only morbidly obese, out of shape people like myself. I would SO sign up and be one of the best fighters on that roster!
I would too! I'd defeat all my enemies by shaving my belly so it was rough like sandpaper, and rubbing my belly on their exposed skin. They would then recoil and I'd take my shot!
Quote from: caleb. on January 25, 2014, 07:18:37 PM
I would too! I'd defeat all my enemies by shaving my belly so it was rough like sandpaper, and rubbing my belly on their exposed skin. They would then recoil and I'd take my shot!
:D You would be such an innovative fighter.
Quote from: Malachite on January 25, 2014, 07:27:27 PM
:D You would be such an innovative fighter.
Seriously, I could give somebody rugburn with this thing.
Ah Geeze! You all are such... how do you say... GUYS! :D
Quote from: Shantel on January 25, 2014, 04:33:15 PM
Not fun I'm sure, sorry hon, beats tearing though! My daughter-in-law's doc was too busy watching the world series and she tore so bad it took 31 stitches to repair the damage. We could have killed the jerk!
Holy cow! What the heck was he doing watching tv?
I want to learn how to fight properly.
Quote from: Nikko on January 25, 2014, 07:32:09 PM
Ah Geeze! You all are such... how do you say... GUYS! :D
Famous last words on this site.............. ;D
Quote from: birkin on January 25, 2014, 07:28:12 PM
Seriously, I could give somebody rugburn with this thing.
I'd just have to sit mine on top of someone, haha.
Quote from: Nikko on January 25, 2014, 07:32:09 PM
Ah Geeze! You all are such... how do you say... GUYS! :D
Only on Susans. ;)
My twins and grand daughter survived a rollover (double).
(https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1/p200x200/1533860_10152241236492318_1486673359_n.jpg)
Seatbelt bruises and a few scratches only for them.
Quote from: LordKAT on January 25, 2014, 10:40:34 PM
My twins and grand daughter survived a rollover (double).
(https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1/p200x200/1533860_10152241236492318_1486673359_n.jpg)
Seatbelt bruises and a few scratches only for them.
*Hugs KAT*
That is scary stuff, they will be okay?
Quote from: LordKAT on January 25, 2014, 10:40:34 PM
My twins and grand daughter survived a rollover (double).
(https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1/p200x200/1533860_10152241236492318_1486673359_n.jpg)
Seatbelt bruises and a few scratches only for them.
Holy cow!
That looks terrible, I hope they are OK
Ye, they are OK, just a bit shaken up. I haven't talked to my granddaughter though. She is 6 and may find it scarier later.
Glad they are okay
It is common for folks to relive traumatic situations later when it hits them, sometimes they just need someone understanding to relate to, sometimes it may require therapy
I think just being there for them is most often the best therapy
Being there is about the only thing I can do. I am kind of amazed but happy that no one was hurt more.
Well yeah, the fricken' passenger door was tore off... Scary stuff
Hugs
Went by my boss's house yesterday and finally she's starting to look like her old self and is a lot more there now. She could carry on a conversation for quite a while. Glad to see her recovering.
I recently started brushing my lips. Things are looking lots better.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 26, 2014, 06:29:45 AM
I recently started brushing my lips. Things are looking lots better.
I tried doing that, ended up looking like a meat loaf around my lips lol.
http://puu.sh/6yPLb.jpg thinking that I do look sort of fabulous today. Sort of. First time wearing makeup since I shot that avatar picture of mine back in.. October?
I'm getting sick so I took some children's medicine. It was kind of tasty but I know I need adult medicine.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 26, 2014, 09:17:01 AM
I tried doing that, ended up looking like a meat loaf around my lips lol.
http://puu.sh/6yPLb.jpg thinking that I do look sort of fabulous today. Sort of. First time wearing makeup since I shot that avatar picture of mine back in.. October?
You are such a cutie pie, can I adopt you?
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 26, 2014, 09:17:01 AM
I tried doing that, ended up looking like a meat loaf around my lips lol.
http://puu.sh/6yPLb.jpg thinking that I do look sort of fabulous today. Sort of. First time wearing makeup since I shot that avatar picture of mine back in.. October?
Oh my god...
Decided to go for a really long walk today. I hope I don't become overwhelmed with crippling anxiety because there is (essentially) no bus service as it is Sunday.
I am super adoptable so go ahead!
I shouldn't have fallen asleep on the bed with the cat. The oven was on. Kind of a freakout when I noticed.
When will a heart attack or something strike me down? I am sick of feeling and seeing nothing but hurt and suffering everyday. I sometimes feel I haven't the energy to help anymore though it is my instinct to do so.
Quote from: Emo on January 26, 2014, 11:04:59 AM
Oh my god...
Not sure if good or bad. :p
And Charlie, sorry to break the news to you, but you're staying with us a little longer. *hugs*
Apartment hunting continues.
First, the Capital failed options:
- The first one was fully restored, from Windows to paint and literally everything.... But missing the kitchen. The cost of installing a kitchen + furnishing the whole place would be too much in case of problems. I'd mean drawing money from my transition savings...
- The second one.. I discovered it, but when my father saw it, he wanted it. 40.000€ cheaper than the media, everything fixed inside, and in the historical neighbourhood of the city (Casco Viejo). he was insisting, I was being cautious... "You show this to me, but if I like it you don't now?" That one was from my list of interesting things to see. I had to track small bits in the photos until I could track it in Google Earth: The facade was losing parts, and the balconies were falling apart. That place could be demolished any time. that money is far to cheap to live in a area everybody would love to spend a vacation in.
So we are back to the second city. We have two options, each one of us is fighting for one.
- My fathers choice is the "modern". It is a bit small, but the whole kitchen is brand new, and everything has been designed. But it has no lift or whatever.
http://www.inmobroker.es/vivienda/1326/arteagabeitia/piso_en_barakaldo_616577.html
Pros: Brand new and fully equipped kitchen, semi modern bathroom, cork flooring, heating
Cons: Small, only two rooms, tiny living room, The brand new furniture integrates wardrobes and beds, making it impossible to change or customize it. A thrid floor with no lift.
- My choice is the "Grandfather". This place looks like it has been owned by a pair of elderly people. Furniture, rugs... Everything looks like 30 to 50 years. The kitchen is really old, but overall it looks beautiful, with good natural lighting, and THREE ROOMS. I can have a bedroom, a room for renting or visitors, and a work and studying room
http://www.inmobroker.es/vivienda/1326/arteagabeitia/piso_en_barakaldo_616355.html
Pros: Lift, balcony, 7 square meters separate storage, heating, all windows are outdoors, easy to remove furniture, three rooms, lots of light. Even the bathroom has a window! One wardrobe is part of the apartment itself in a wall
Cons: Kitchen will need upgrades, half the furniture may go out, may need to replace the electrical outlets.
So, we agreed on checking them ASAP and separately, and compare out oppinions tomorrow. We still need to find the small bits (overall status of the building, location, what does not show on the photos)... Let's hope everything comes out OK.
Still, living in the old district would be so cool...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-UpDTcG3ambs%2FTVodosZeitI%2FAAAAAAAADqo%2FAY5jN9JEQW4%2Fs1600%2Fcasco%252B1.jpg&hash=2d934fc296e6b14e951ef211f68cf9a5a541593d)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pintorrock.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FPENSION-ARIAS-BILBAO.-CASCO-VIEJO-590x230.jpg&hash=777585619fa82530851fac3d6de46181aa320f6e)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cdn.tripadvisor.com%2Fmedia%2Fphoto-s%2F05%2F1a%2F53%2F54%2Fcasco-viejo.jpg&hash=d9e0784fd80e06afed31799929e808874f85e7c0)
I'm wondering if I should clarify something for some of my friends. I don't really have much to gain from it except... Some of my friends and I don't see eye to eye on certain things. While that's fine with me, I wonder if it's fine with them or if they assume I have the same opinion they do. This is kind of important to me.
I'm thinking that maybe I don't want to grow old.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 26, 2014, 02:02:34 PM
Not sure if good or bad. :p
And Charlie, sorry to break the news to you, but you're staying with us a little longer. *hugs*
Very good. Youre the cutest thing to me next to anime.
Quote from: AppleJack on January 26, 2014, 02:24:15 PM
Apartment hunting continues.
First, the Capital failed options:
- The first one was fully restored, from Windows to paint and literally everything.... But missing the kitchen. The cost of installing a kitchen + furnishing the whole place would be too much in case of problems. I'd mean drawing money from my transition savings...
- The second one.. I discovered it, but when my father saw it, he wanted it. 40.000€ cheaper than the media, everything fixed inside, and in the historical neighbourhood of the city (Casco Viejo). he was insisting, I was being cautious... "You show this to me, but if I like it you don't now?" That one was from my list of interesting things to see. I had to track small bits in the photos until I could track it in Google Earth: The facade was losing parts, and the balconies were falling apart. That place could be demolished any time. that money is far to cheap to live in a area everybody would love to spend a vacation in.
So we are back to the second city. We have two options, each one of us is fighting for one.
- My fathers choice is the "modern". It is a bit small, but the whole kitchen is brand new, and everything has been designed. But it has no lift or whatever.
http://www.inmobroker.es/vivienda/1326/arteagabeitia/piso_en_barakaldo_616577.html
Pros: Brand new and fully equipped kitchen, semi modern bathroom, cork flooring, heating
Cons: Small, only two rooms, tiny living room, The brand new furniture integrates wardrobes and beds, making it impossible to change or customize it. A thrid floor with no lift.
- My choice is the "Grandfather". This place looks like it has been owned by a pair of elderly people. Furniture, rugs... Everything looks like 30 to 50 years. The kitchen is really old, but overall it looks beautiful, with good natural lighting, and THREE ROOMS. I can have a bedroom, a room for renting or visitors, and a work and studying room
http://www.inmobroker.es/vivienda/1326/arteagabeitia/piso_en_barakaldo_616355.html
Pros: Lift, balcony, 7 square meters separate storage, heating, all windows are outdoors, easy to remove furniture, three rooms, lots of light. Even the bathroom has a window! One wardrobe is part of the apartment itself in a wall
Cons: Kitchen will need upgrades, half the furniture may go out, may need to replace the electrical outlets.
So, we agreed on checking them ASAP and separately, and compare out oppinions tomorrow. We still need to find the small bits (overall status of the building, location, what does not show on the photos)... Let's hope everything comes out OK.
Still, living in the old district would be so cool...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-UpDTcG3ambs%2FTVodosZeitI%2FAAAAAAAADqo%2FAY5jN9JEQW4%2Fs1600%2Fcasco%252B1.jpg&hash=2d934fc296e6b14e951ef211f68cf9a5a541593d)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pintorrock.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FPENSION-ARIAS-BILBAO.-CASCO-VIEJO-590x230.jpg&hash=777585619fa82530851fac3d6de46181aa320f6e)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cdn.tripadvisor.com%2Fmedia%2Fphoto-s%2F05%2F1a%2F53%2F54%2Fcasco-viejo.jpg&hash=d9e0784fd80e06afed31799929e808874f85e7c0)
Gods I want to live where you live. Not a single McDonalds sign around. Simply gorgeous.
Quote from: oh hai! on January 26, 2014, 10:33:38 PM
Gods I want to live where you live. Not a single McDonalds sign around. Simply gorgeous.
Yeah, that is some beautiful scenery.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on January 26, 2014, 10:46:04 PM
Yeah, that is some beautiful scenery.
Prague is high on my list of places to waste a few weeks.
Thinking about someone I have never met and possibly will never get to(costs) and understanding how they are feeling and hate not being able to be there to help and only being words on a page. Also finding myself surprisingly caring about them not being happy.
What is this feeling? I do not understand it.
Quote from: oh hai! on January 26, 2014, 10:33:38 PM
Gods I want to live where you live. Not a single McDonalds sign around. Simply gorgeous.
There is a increasing difficulty for finding a McDonalds. At this moment there only a single one in the whole city, ina mall that doesn't get a lot of people. There is more or less one per city, and you don't even see Burger King and Mc Donalds under the same roof.
What still pisses me off is how Pizza Hut disappeared. Last time I had one was in Lisbon. I loved it, but nowadays it's either Telepizza or Domino's for chains. Anyways, if you want to eat real healthy "fast food" here, I know the places.
Quote from: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on January 26, 2014, 11:07:04 PM
Thinking about someone I have never met and possibly will never get to(costs) and understanding how they are feeling and hate not being able to be there to help and only being words on a page. Also finding myself surprisingly caring about them not being happy.
What is this feeling? I do not understand it.
It is called love, and it is healthy.
Quote from: Gwynne on January 26, 2014, 11:02:38 PMPrague is high on my list of places to waste a few weeks.
I actually did eat at a McDonald's in Prague, when I was 8, but that was mostly so I could try ordering in Czech for fun.
It was the easter suburbs of Prague, if that matters.
Quote from: Cindy on January 27, 2014, 04:19:22 AM
It is called love, and it is healthy.
So far all my life I have gone on not knowing what love feels like, despite it being described to me. I will admit I was worried this would be the answer and all I can think right now is I hate this feeling as it hurts.
Why can't I just go back to being emotionally numb? I don't want to hurt again as I was used in my last relationship though it was one I was manipulated into and I was not vested in it myself only in it for the other person, I was blind my friends say and it is with hindsight I see how unsafe and unhealthy it was for me to be in it(gladly it didn't last long) but considering it led me to have such a bad anxiety attack that EMT's(yup) thought I was having a heart attack, I never wanted that again despite not 'being' in the relationship her cheating on me really hurt for some reason.
As I said I most likely will never meet this person in real life, so that means carrying these feelings with me and never able to express them. So yes I was worried that would be the answer and all I can think right now is I hate this feeling as it hurts but I guess that shows it is real based on what friends have told me in the past, also my friend kept rubbing it in months ago I had a crush...but how can I get such feelings for someone I have never met and frankly who can and does do better than me, I also hate that nothing will come of these feelings.
:icon_sadblinky:
Why can't I go back to being a robot/empty shell?
Because my sister you are not an emotionless robot. You are a woman with feelings and care for others. You have been hurt and you have put up shields.
We hide: it is a honeycomb world that we live in, it is dark and has places we can pretend to be safe. But it is a hidden place that we do not need. We can express love, we can care, we can feel, we are human and we can have love, both receiving and giving.
That is our right.
And I do keep a box of tissues next to my computer, thank goddess, because I cry when I hear the pain we carry.
I'm crying now.
Love you
Cindy
I am sorry I made you cry Cindy. Only semi good thing from all this at the moment is it seems I maybe able to write more songs and poems now something I haven't been able to in years. It seems I can only do it when I am breaking apart with reason and not just randomly.
Love you as well Cindy.
This reminds me of the time I ordered a McDonalds burger in Prague. Like Willow, I was in the suburbs and the guy didn't speak English at all. Ended up with two huge burgers with chips and fizzy drinks, and two HUGE bottles of water, a lot of various dips and a massive bag of fried scampi. Nailed it.
I said happy meal and ice cream. He got that :P
Trying to find R&B songs not in English; focusing on Asia so far.
Haven't found anything I click with.
I am an ugly, pathetic, useless idiot. Also despite what some may think I am not saying that for attention or sympathies, that is just simply how I truly feel about myself on an almost daily basis and today is probably the worst in awhile.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 27, 2014, 09:34:05 AMTrying to find R&B songs not in English; focusing on Asia so far.
Haven't found anything I click with.
Does Reggatón count as R&B?
What oh what have I signed up for.. 20 balls of yarn staring at me.
Quote from: Willow on January 27, 2014, 09:18:46 AM
I said happy meal and ice cream. He got that :P
Hahaha that's adorable! Ooh happy meals! :D I tried this thing called McTasty I believe, when I was at Gatwick waiting for my plane. Could have renamed it to McBland with a cup of icky salty gravy poured over it. Horey morey I spent a long time chewing that thing.. :p
Quote from: alabamagirl on January 27, 2014, 09:53:59 AM
Charley, you are absolutely not pathetic or useless, and I doubt that you're ugly, either. We all feel down on ourselves at times. I do a lot. But that doesn't make it true, just because we feel that way.
*hugs you tightly*
I love you, sister. Please cheer up a bit.
Thank you for the hug(hugs back) and reassuring words love you also sis, but unfortunately when you have hated yourself for as long as you could understand a reflection(pre-trans issues) or understand anything it is hard, I do not kid when I say I have no self confidence, heck I have never had it. I can't recall any moment in my life where I like myself and wasn't just putting up a facade for everyone. I know there are other that have disliked things about themselves most of their lives but I remember feeling this way since I could talk.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on January 27, 2014, 10:35:00 AMHahaha that's adorable! Ooh happy meals! :D I tried this thing called McTasty I believe, when I was at Gatwick waiting for my plane. Could have renamed it to McBland with a cup of icky salty gravy poured over it. Horey morey I spent a long time chewing that thing.. :p
I think I remember that. I think it was kinda stupid, never tried it.
I only occasionally get a milkshake or wrap at MacDo. Rarely, though.
Never been to Gatwick, or any London airport for that matter. I have a preference for Heathrow, though, on mostly architectural and practical basis. The new T2 is going to have an awesome sculpture in it!
It'd be nice if they sold meat, vegetables, fruits, etc in sizes that were appropriate for a single person - without them being super expensive!
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 11:26:08 AM
It'd be nice if they sold meat, vegetables, fruits, etc in sizes that were appropriate for a single person - without them being super expensive!
Or even packaged for couples rather than for family sized. I have to repackage just about everything we buy in the grocery store.
Quote from: alabamagirl on January 27, 2014, 11:05:21 AMI've not liked myself for a long time, either, sis... I'm not sure how far back it goes, but I never liked much about myself physically... I never liked my voice, for one thing. It always sounded goofy to me. I absolutely HATE it now that it's become so deep, but I didn't like it even before puberty. I've always hated my hair. It's extremely curly, and when I was little, all the adults would tell me it was so pretty, but I hated it. I wanted long, straight, beautiful hair, not some curly mess on my head. I didn't like that I had to wear glasses, and fought against getting them and then ever putting them on after I got them. Really, I can find imperfections in just about anything, even things that are completely silly.I also have a lot of personality flaws, but almost everyone does. Sometimes we're just more aware of our own, or we start feeling so down that we see faults were there aren't any.You seem like a good person, sis. I don't think you're any of those things. I'm sorry I'm not closer, to give you a real hug, until you feel better. I would if I could.
One of the biggest compliments someone said to me while a misgendering it was years before I came out that I remember was one day while doing a forklift ticket course I had an interview afterwards so showed up in my job interview: dress shirt and pants and a tie(couldn't look more like a guy if I tried) and glasses with my hair slicked back and they said I looked like Clark Kent and I don't why(given the wrong gender) I just loved the comparison.
Bout the only time I have liked a comparison compliment. I just like that character alot and my friends in school use to joke I was him. Again even though in my head it wasn't right. Not sure who I would like to be compared to nowadays. :)
So everyone sees a good person in me but myself, I just can't seem to change that.
Quote from: Shantel on January 27, 2014, 11:29:35 AM
Or even packaged for couples rather than for family sized. I have to repackage just about everything we buy in the grocery store.
Yeah, exactly! I noticed a lot of older couples when I worked at a grocery store, and they either spent more to get smaller things that wouldn't go bad (like the little milks or cakes) or they were buying freezer bags and whatnot to repackage.
I wonder if a gay guy with bisexual tendencies has ever asked his gay partner if he wanted a woman to join in. Probably since everything happens sooner or later.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 27, 2014, 12:14:07 PM
I wonder if a gay guy with bisexual tendencies has ever asked his gay partner if he wanted a woman to join in. Probably since everything happens sooner or later.
Oh, I'm sure. From what I understand, more gay men have sex with women than you would think.
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 12:23:27 PM
Oh, I'm sure. From what I understand, more gay men have sex with women than you would think.
I know but everything about it when I do a search on the internet are cases where they're in the closet. Men, gay or straight, just seem so uptight about that sort of thing. >.>
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 12:23:27 PM
Oh, I'm sure. From what I understand, more gay men have sex with women than you would think.
Unfortunately cis women don't realize it until it's too late and to make matters worse their lower end is one big incubator for the STD he might have given her. Gaaahhh!
The deranged fellow who killed the two kids at Zumiez had left notes on his laptop that he was unhappy with life. I wish these types would just do themselves in and leave innocent people out of their sick lives!
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 27, 2014, 12:28:22 PM
I know but everything about it when I do a search on the internet are cases where they're in the closet. Men, gay or straight, just seem so uptight about that sort of thing. >.>
I think there's still a lot of rigidity when it comes to sexual orientation, even amongst the gay men.
Still browsing dating sites for fun, and you know...I really don't look all that different from other men anymore. Yeah, I'm not that chiselled in the face, lol, but I see a lot of guys on there that have baby faces like mine, and are around my age! A few I look at them and wonder if they're FTM. o.O Like one looks like a legit chick, long hair and all. But the profile doesn't say anything about it.
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 11:26:08 AM
It'd be nice if they sold meat, vegetables, fruits, etc in sizes that were appropriate for a single person - without them being super expensive!
I second this! It's a problem to eat healthy living on my own when I can buy ingredients for one meal and have so much I have to throw away more then I'm comfortable with.
Quote from: Shantel on January 27, 2014, 12:32:42 PM
The deranged fellow who killed the two kids at Zumiez had left notes on his laptop that he was unhappy with life. I wish these types would just do themselves in and leave innocent people out of their sick lives!
I agree.
But, as I've said before, people like this crave that final bit of infamy and ego-stroking so they will be remembered.
It's sick but that is what they want.
If I were unhappy and wanted to kill myself, I would leave a detailed note, do the deed and be done. Yeah, it would devastate my family but I wouldn't harm innocent people before doing myself in.
This is so stupid, but ever since I got misgendered at the grocery store two months ago, I am mortified to even enter one. But I want to buy some food so I can make myself an actual healthy dinner. :(
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 12:35:53 PM
I think there's still a lot of rigidity when it comes to sexual orientation, even amongst the gay men.
Still browsing dating sites for fun, and you know...I really don't look all that different from other men anymore. Yeah, I'm not that chiselled in the face, lol, but I see a lot of guys on there that have baby faces like mine, and are around my age! A few I look at them and wonder if they're FTM. o.O Like one looks like a legit chick, long hair and all. But the profile doesn't say anything about it.
Nothing wrong being pretty is it? ;) When you see how so many girls drool over certain football players I wouldn't even worry............... :angel:
Haven't had food since yesterday. It's 10 in the evening now. Hello food. I've missed you.
Well I just applied to be a grill cook at two hospital online. Getting the ball rolling with sending out applications online. Next stop: Sams Club.
Quote from: Malachite on January 27, 2014, 03:22:11 PMWell I just applied to be a grill cook at two hospital online. Getting the ball rolling with sending out applications online. Next stop: Sams Club.
I hear Costco pays well.
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 03:06:27 PM
This is so stupid, but ever since I got misgendered at the grocery store two months ago, I am mortified to even enter one. But I want to buy some food so I can make myself an actual healthy dinner. :(
It's not stupid, hon. The mind makes associations with certain places and experiences. It's how anxieties and defense mechanisms are formed.
Try to remember that it isn't forced to be the same person, it's a different day, a blank slate, and what happened once is not destined to repeat itself.
And hey, when you DO go there and DON'T get misgendered, then there's nothing left for your mind to hold on to.
(PS... Sherry rocks. One of the few saving graces of RE6 :P)
Quote from: Willow on January 27, 2014, 03:30:29 PM
I hear Costco pays well.
We don't have one of those in my area sadly. :/
Quote from: Sephirah on January 27, 2014, 03:36:37 PM
It's not stupid, hon. The mind makes associations with certain places and experiences. It's how anxieties and defense mechanisms are formed.
Try to remember that it isn't forced to be the same person, it's a different day, a blank slate, and what happened once is not destined to repeat itself.
And hey, when you DO go there and DON'T get misgendered, then there's nothing left for your mind to hold on to.
(PS... Sherry rocks. One of the few saving graces of RE6 :P)
She totally does! I liked RE4 and RE5 better than 6, but I quite enjoyed Sherry's storyline.
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 03:42:32 PM
She totally does! I liked RE4 and RE5 better than 6, but I quite enjoyed Sherry's storyline.
RE4 was a masterpiece. Leon is one of the coolest RE characters. It's also the only game for my PS3 that I have 100% of the trophies for. I don't normally bother with them, lol.
That being said... yeah, Sherry is awesome, but she doesn't hold a candle to Ada.
Best character in Resident Evil. Ever. And the one I'd be in a heartbeat. ;D *hides*
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20121028120625%2Fresidentevil%2Ffr%2Fimages%2F0%2F03%2FCg_ada.jpg&hash=a685725c7fc7af86d60e836fd42008325f200625)
Although I preferred the way she looked in RE4.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wallcg.com%2Fimages%2F2012%2F12%2Fresident-evil-ada-wong-resident-evil-4-HD-Wallpapers.jpg&hash=cfbef59588b2c14e3cfcf14b14b083fe7fbbe870)
I think Sherry is hot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LvQzR3VSGo
Yes
I LOVE Ada! Lol. Even I want to be her. :P She's so lithe. And I agree, she was much better in RE4, I liked the voice actress for that game better too.
I used to prefer RE4 over RE5. But I don't know, RE5 has really grown on me, to the point where they're getting pretty damn close.
And Malachite, lol, omg. Helena's butt is way better anyway.
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 04:04:52 PM
And Malachite, lol, omg. Helena's butt is way better anyway.
Hmmm....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSYwPuGPRd4
It might be that particular level but I just can't seem to get into it. Leon on the other hand....
Lol, why thank you!
I can't even tell you how fast I'd date Helena.
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 04:04:52 PM
I LOVE Ada! Lol. Even I want to be her. :P She's so lithe. And I agree, she was much better in RE4, I liked the voice actress for that game better too.
I used to prefer RE4 over RE5. But I don't know, RE5 has really grown on me, to the point where they're getting pretty damn close.
And Malachite, lol, omg. Helena's butt is way better anyway.
First time I saw Helena, the only thing I could think was "L'Oreal... because she's worth it!" The hairs are very... shiny in that game, lol.
I've played through RE5 maybe 4 times now. It just isn't tense and atmospheric enough. It's too... actiony. It reminds me of Dino Crisis 2, in the style, versus the original.
It's a good game, and Sheva is awesome. But I don't like how utterly devoid of intelligence the Artificial Intelligence of your partner is, regardless of whether you're playing as Chris or Sheva.
The Lost In Nightmares DLC was pretty great though.
...
I better shut up, I could talk the hind leg off a donkey about survival horror games. *blushes*
Quote from: birkin on January 27, 2014, 04:10:56 PM
Lol, why thank you!
I can't even tell you how fast I'd date Helena.
I admire her personality ad strength but she might be a little.... *too* aggressive for me. I see her taing my pants and wearing them in the relationship.
I think I have a way that I can actually sleep in this coming Sunday if I plan things right and go up to the store at 10 the night before and get the totals from the phone card thingy, the check machine and money order machine and the fuel readings. Then I don't have to come in before 10 am or so, let someone else open for me since I can count the safe later on.
Saw palmetto and milk thistle and massage for 2 or more weeks.
I can now see my breasts through 2 shirts when standing up straight...
Quote from: Liam Erik on January 27, 2014, 08:31:07 PM
I spent six and a half hours today making something that's too small. :-\
The new lambs are due in 55 days.
Omg baby lambs yay!!!!!!!
thinking...... thinking...... thinking..... damn this is one lonnnnnggggggggggg night.......
Quote from: Liam Erik on January 27, 2014, 08:31:07 PM
I spent six and a half hours today making something that's too small. :-\
The new lambs are due in 55 days.
And here I was, thinking that I've spent two DAYS on something that is probably too big. Let's swap!
Got a brand new razor... My skin is super smooth. :3
Well it seems like I've applied to three jobs at Red Lobster, but from my assesment to which I was honest on, I may not get it because based on the questions they asked: I'm a pathetic loser that sucks as life.
Quote from: Malachite on January 28, 2014, 12:12:30 PM
Well it seems like I've applied to three jobs at Red Lobster, but from my assesment to which I was honest on, I may not get it because based on the questions they asked: I'm a pathetic loser that sucks as life.
You are not!
Quote from: birkin on January 28, 2014, 12:13:19 PM
You are not!
That's how my honest responses to those assesment questions make me out to be. :/
You just have to learn to emphasize the positive. ;) Pretty much anyone could make themselves sound either bad or good, depending on how they phrased it.
Quote from: birkin on January 28, 2014, 12:18:54 PM
You just have to learn to emphasize the positive. ;) Pretty much anyone could make themselves sound either bad or good, depending on how they phrased it.
It was one of those assesments where you had to chose "strongly disagree slightly disagree, not sure/in between, slightly agree, strongly agree"
I found myself clicking strongly disagree and strongly agree a lot to some statements.
Like what kind of questions?
I'm sending them to you right now.
I think I'm going to dump my doctor, find someone else who will realise that dysphoria is depression and won't go away until I can be perceived as female in society.
I've done all I can do. Time for medical professionals to do their jobs and do what they can do.
I can't live for three more months with having to shave body hair on a daily basis, because I can't. I can't shower every day because I don't always want to go to the men's room to do it. And it's going to ruin my timeline as well; I'm not going to come back to school next year as fully female; I'll still have the breasts of a prepubescent and the face of a man. I don't know if the State of California will be able to say that I've moved far along enough in transition to grant me a female gender marker. I'll still probably have to live in the men's dorms if I can't get into gender neutral. I could be stuck behind for another 6 months to a year because of this.
Time to spend a bunch of money to go to Howard Brown in Chicago. Why does my familial income have to be through the roof, making the sliding scale ineffective?
Can't think with all this negative noise in my head.
Yeah Willow, I read your post in the unhappy thread - I highly recommend doing whatever you can to see another doctor. I know money's tight so that might be a bit of a challenge but this one you're seeing now is getting you absolutely nowhere. And imo it's tantamount to cruelty, to make you suffer with dysphoria as if that will make you more "worthy" of transition.
Quote from: birkin on January 28, 2014, 01:03:41 PMYeah Willow, I read your post in the unhappy thread - I highly recommend doing whatever you can to see another doctor. I know money's tight so that might be a bit of a challenge but this one you're seeing now is getting you absolutely nowhere. And imo it's tantamount to cruelty, to make you suffer with dysphoria as if that will make you more "worthy" of transition.
I'm going to talk with my dad about it today. I can't suffer for another semestre and fail again. I don't want to ruin my life. As much as I don't want to be at college and would rather be travelling, I know I have no choice. I'm not about to wrangle with my insurance anymore, they're completely useless on this matter. And if I see someone that I have to pay out of pocket for, they better not gatekeep me just to waste my money, I won't have it. I'll demand a refund for every visit that I've seen them for if they say I have to get my depression under control fist. Guess what, I don't know of a single transperson who wasn't depressed before starting hormones.
I hope dad understands this and will provide the money to travel to Chicago and for the visits there, or better yet, have him take me himself. But I don't want to stay at my aunt's. I'm not out to them, and not going to revert just for them, or want to be pestered by her annoying little {redacted}, I mean, bundles of joy, both emotionally or physically.
I did the calcuations for a minimum wage full time job for a year including an estimate of taxes and transprtation costs (minimal costs as I'd plan to take a bus and the occasional cab/get a ride). Add that with contributing at least $100 towards rent to help my mom with living expense and with no other costs (I mean absolutely not spending ANYTHING unless it's an emergency), that's around 14 grand a year, if I'm extremely lucky. That's going to barely cover my top surgery/mansculpture costs. I'm trying to imagine adding Androgel, doctors appointments, and eventually bottom surgery to that afterwards, with the impression that the Androgel and bottom surgery wouldn't be covered by insurance. Then I'd like to add a gym membership to the mix. Dang.......I can't even comprehend having enough money to save for all of that.
I tell you, my hat is off to anyone who is making their transition happen legally on a minimum wage job with no insurance and without the help of the government, family, or anyone else but themselves on TOP of regular living expenses if they indepedent. I have so much respect for them. That's not to say I don't have respect for someone who is able to get their surgeries and/or hormones paid for, but since I probably will never be in that position, I just can relate.
I'm as legal as need to be. Customs has searched some of the packages I've gotten and let them through with no issues, so that's legal enough for me, lol. But then I don't have rent, just power, internet, water softener and sulphur guard, insurance and taxes along with keeping up my car(no payment on it either). I suppose I'm lucky about that.
Bout the only thing going through my head right now is why? That applies to multiple things.
Just not feeling in a good place at the moment not really sure of any one reason why. (gah that word again)
I hope so as this is like three days in a row feeling like this at the moment. Love you to. *hugs*
http://www.realself.com/review/chadds-ford-pa-breast-augmentation-26-days-left
The heightened emotions and empathy E can give you... The more I kept reading and seeing the photos the more I wished for a happy ending.
Quote from: Liam Erik on January 28, 2014, 09:19:45 AM
Mine was a hat my grandmother requested. The mistake was in misjudging the size of the homemade yarn, in comparison to the other hat I was looking at, so it came out irredeemably small. ::)
I'd say I'll take pictures of the lambs for y'all but I said that last year, too... I'll try, how about that.
I'm thinking no person alive has a lovelier chest than me. :P I'm shirtless because I befouled my clothes. I put on nice clean clothes so I could go to an important thing later not smelling like I've been in the same woolens for ten consecutive days, and I thought I'd fill the sheep water manually since things are frozen up, and then I thought I'd bail out the filth layer from the bottom while it was near empty, and this is why I can't have nice things.
Just redo it with bigger needles/looser knitting? :) Mine was a jumper for my goddaughter. I've never knitted anything like that before. Just gotta finish up now, really.
http://puu.sh/6Bsg1 lookielook! It will look much nicer once it's been ironed and stuff I hope. I'm quite proud, there's a first time for everything.
I envy you being able to work with sheep like that. I love sheep. Sheep are super cool, absolutely brilliant animals. And they smell nice.
Quote from: AppleJack on January 28, 2014, 04:13:12 PM
http://www.realself.com/review/chadds-ford-pa-breast-augmentation-26-days-left
The heightened emotions and empathy E can give you... The more I kept reading and seeing the photos the more I wished for a happy ending.
Geeze, the poor child!
Well I applied to Ingles and it seems like my application went through online. My laptop from when I pressed the "sign" signature, and we I logged back on it told me thank you for completing the application and that a hiring manager will contact me as soon as a position becomes available.
On to the next online job application I suppose, but I'm going to take a small break first.
Had I known then at 16 what I know now....I would have started working immediatly so my top surgery could have been paid off and done by now....maybe even my bottom surgery too.... -sigh- oh well....
Quote from: Malachite on January 28, 2014, 07:42:51 PM
Had I known then at 16 what I know now....I would have started working immediatly so my top surgery could have been paid off and done by now....maybe even my bottom surgery too.... -sigh- oh well....
Hind sight is 20/20 hon, but oh well huh?
Quote from: Shantel on January 28, 2014, 08:12:31 PM
Hind sight is 20/20 hon, but oh well huh?
I actually had to look that up lol but yeah in this case I do agree.
I'm thinking that its nasty out with the sleet and all the ice from the freezing rain, but at least the power came back on. I had the generator going after I cleaned the main jet, but didn't have internet except on my phone, so I whined on facebook with that. Now I can fix a pizza and hope the power stays on so I don't have to go outside again tonight.
Just submitted another application online to a restaurant.
My father said my thinking is screwed of by trying to find a job where I can get there on our crappy bus route system. If only he knew that I have top surgery to think about so if I can avoid driving I will....
30 episodes of Fairy Tail in 3 days. o__o
I'm thinking about mental illness and it's effects on my life and others'. Both what living with it is like as well as the effects of stigma.
Can't sleep and have a minimum of 12 hours to work today.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 28, 2014, 08:30:40 PM
I'm thinking that its nasty out with the sleet and all the ice from the freezing rain, but at least the power came back on. I had the generator going after I cleaned the main jet, but didn't have internet except on my phone, so I whined on facebook with that. Now I can fix a pizza and hope the power stays on so I don't have to go outside again tonight.
i know, and I woke up this morning to snow! never would have believed it!
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 28, 2014, 08:30:40 PM
I'm thinking that its nasty out with the sleet and all the ice from the freezing rain, but at least the power came back on. I had the generator going after I cleaned the main jet, but didn't have internet except on my phone, so I whined on facebook with that. Now I can fix a pizza and hope the power stays on so I don't have to go outside again tonight.
So much for global warming in the northern hemisphere, stay warm lady!
Sometimes I wonder if my mom truly wants me to leave home. I'm thinking no.
My brother wants me to come see him today, but the bus ride is so long. -_- 1.5 hours to get there. He's been driving so long I think he forgets what a pain in the butt bus and train travel is.
I don't know if I should extend this geek squad plan to anoter two years (costs around $251) or let it run out and if something breaks, just take it to a local repair shop nearby. I paid for the 2 year plan when I was 19 and the only time I got some use out of it was to replace my battery. Well I did that and 2-3 months later, the battery is acting up and I can't keep it charged for any longer than 5 minutes before my laptop will die on me.....and they only replace one battery for free which sucks. Whenever I get a virus, I just do a destructive recovery and be done. I'm not a student anymore so I don't have any major stuff I have to save and the stuff I do have, it's also saved to my USB or to another site.
$251 is a lot of money. but then again I'v had this laptop for almost over 2 years now and I'm always on it so there is a very strong possibility that it could just break down within the next 2 years.
Arrrrrrgh decisions decisions. I'm not sure what to do. :'( I only have like the next 2, maybe 3 days to decide....
I'm thinking you should save the money and use it to buy a new and better laptop when your current one goes kaput. They're getting so cheap now, seems like a lot of dough to me.
@Nikko Even though I'm aware that I will need a new laptop eventually (warranty or not), this is my first baby and she's a discontinued model so it will be hard to let her go. She even has little square designs on it. When I first saw her, I knew she was the one for me....
@alabmagirl awww that would have been perfect for me. I wish I prsonally knew someone around here that could fix mine.
You're 'attached' to your laptop?
:eusa_silenced: :eusa_drool: :icon_dance:
Quote from: Nikko on January 29, 2014, 02:35:36 PM
You're 'attached' to your laptop?
:eusa_silenced: :eusa_drool: :icon_dance:
yes.
Apartments hunting continues. Apparently the other nice looking flat I needed to check has a wooden structure (pretty high maintenance) and really bad light conditions, meaning it would generate a massive electric bill.
Also, I'm meeting somebody who does not know I'm trans for a drink. And as favce to face meeting before living as flatmates and maybe something more.
BTW, standing in a train station while waiting, I feel an urge of taking the first long distance and go wherever it tales me, like leaving away my past and my life... I'm too tired and I only want a normal life...
Quote from: Nikko on January 29, 2014, 02:35:36 PM
You're 'attached' to your laptop?
:eusa_silenced: :eusa_drool: :icon_dance:
Who isn't? I love mine. All my best friends live inside it.
I am thinking that I am probably a bit too tired when I suddenly realise I have a pound of plastic wrapped pork meat on my lap. And I have absolutely no idea how it ended up there.
So this is really great news long-term, really bad news short-term.
I'm writing a chapter for my thesis, that I expected to be only 15 pages. It has five sections.
Writing the first section now....it's not even done and it is currently 10 pages. THE FIRST SECTION. OF FIVE! So the bad news is, I have a LOT of work ahead of me because it seems I am gravely underestimating how many pages I need to do a good job. The great news is, when my balls have been thoroughly busted, my thesis is going to be long and sexy and detailed and I'll look smart. My supervisor said I wasn't being detailed enough, so maybe this is a sign I am on the right track.
Another piece of good news is that I am SUPER into it. I finally found the flow for writing this, so it's long but not tiring. It's nice to enjoy writing again, I have been missing that for so long.
Quote from: birkin on January 29, 2014, 07:23:55 PM
So this is really great news long-term, really bad news short-term.
I'm writing a chapter for my thesis, that I expected to be only 15 pages. It has five sections.
Writing the first section now....it's not even done and it is currently 10 pages. THE FIRST SECTION. OF FIVE! So the bad news is, I have a LOT of work ahead of me because it seems I am gravely underestimating how many pages I need to do a good job. The great news is, when my balls have been thoroughly busted, my thesis is going to be long and sexy and detailed and I'll look smart. My supervisor said I wasn't being detailed enough, so maybe this is a sign I am on the right track.
Another piece of good news is that I am SUPER into it. I finally found the flow for writing this, so it's long but not tiring. It's nice to enjoy writing again, I have been missing that for so long.
Rollin' on up into dissertation territory! >:-)
Even though it's nasty stuff I wish I had some fast food or a frozen dinner
Oh the drudgery of having to cook up some real food
I did not expect so many people at the registry. Good thing I had breakfast and my hormones a before (blood test day), because I will probably have to stay here for considerable amount of time.
BTW, even though I'm in guy mode, and at this time I'm starting to show a bit of beard shadow in the short distance, my breast are showing up already. So much for my plan of trying to pass Noah as male and try to pull a standard name change (I was recommended to avoid being identified as trans since they can use it to deny the change until I have the two letters required here for the name + gender legal change).
Something odd last nite. After finishing the make up, my personality changed slightly. I got a little happier... But oddly i also became a bit shy. I didnt know why, but i was. I felt like a different person.
If the Duke Nukem game goes on sale for .99 cents at Gamestop then I may buy it....
Damn I'm happy Nebido needs to be injected with months in-between, my upper butt cheek is really feeling it right now, yowza...
Two things mostly 1: Glad I don't have access to a gun and that I threw that blade away ages ago. 2: How can I perform open heart surgery on myself? This one is damaged and needs replacing or just being gone.
Two of five sections of this chapter completed. Of the three remaining, only one is difficult and time intensive...meaning, if I finish the two easier ones today, I can really work at the harder section tomorrow and be done this chapter tomorrow.
After that, one intensive and nightmarish chapter.
Then, the fun one. Some editing and touchups....then I write my conclusion.
ugh The way my head feels at the moment I think I may have given myself a very mild concussion but I am not sure.
Quote from: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on January 30, 2014, 05:24:15 PMugh The way my head feels at the moment I think I may have given myself a very mild concussion but I am not sure.
Beats hitting your head on a steel beam.
Unless that's exactly what you did.
Ice and ibuprofen.
Quote from: birkin on January 30, 2014, 03:28:25 PM
Two of five sections of this chapter completed. Of the three remaining, only one is difficult and time intensive...meaning, if I finish the two easier ones today, I can really work at the harder section tomorrow and be done this chapter tomorrow.
After that, one intensive and nightmarish chapter.
Then, the fun one. Some editing and touchups....then I write my conclusion.
You are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, we're going to be proud of you Master! :D ;D
At some point over the last year I stopped being such a misanthrope. I have gained a lot of empathy and compassion for others, when before I really couldn't care less. I used to think that people just suck and that the demise of mankind couldn't come soon enough.
Now I think I shall let you all live.
You're welcome.
Now who else wants tacos?
Quote from: Willow on January 30, 2014, 05:32:28 PM
Beats hitting your head on a steel beam.
Unless that's exactly what you did.
Ice and ibuprofen.
Nope was punching my temples and the top of my head during my dark moments earlier.
Quote from: Jill F on January 30, 2014, 05:56:30 PM
At some point over the last year I stopped being such a misanthrope. I have gained a lot of empathy and compassion for others, when before I really couldn't care less. I used to think that people just suck and that the demise of mankind couldn't come soon enough.
Now I think I shall let you all live.
You're welcome.
Now who else wants tacos?
Fish tacos? I love me some fish tacos :) glad to hear you no longer want a gigantic meteor or zombie apocalypse to visit us ;D
I'm thinking that I need to take some risks or I won't move forward with my plans. I'm wondering where and how to get the information I need in order to do that.
I'm also thinking that I need to pull an all nighter to clean my apartment and wondering how I'm going to do that if I'm already tired and it's only midnight.
Quote from: Shantel on January 30, 2014, 05:48:16 PM
You are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, we're going to be proud of you Master! :D ;D
Thanks Auntie. ;D
Feel like I'm getting weird looks when I'm out and about in guy mode this last week... mostly from other men. When I'm in guy mode I dress very plainly and my natural hairline leaves no doubt about my bio gender but it does look like they're "confused" by me. I can only presume it's gender related... unless I have a second head no one is telling me about...?
Quote from: Jill F on January 30, 2014, 05:56:30 PM
At some point over the last year I stopped being such a misanthrope. I have gained a lot of empathy and compassion for others, when before I really couldn't care less. I used to think that people just suck and that the demise of mankind couldn't come soon enough.
Know exactly what you mean - my apocalyptic misanthropic streak has really faded this last year...
I just told my mom that I applied for two more jobs and she said "yay, more money in the house!".
She's been hinting at me to contribute more to the house when I get a job. She might want about $100 a month, which may suck for my pocket, but is WAY more cheaper than living on my own so I can't complain. That's like $1200 a year right? I may just give her the $1200 upfront so she won't nag me about paying it monthly. I have a feeling she would rather have $100 monthly because it's easy to spend $1200 in one setting and still feel lacking,wheras at least she has money to look foward every month. On the other hand, I would much rather give her the $1200 so I wouldn't have to deal with paying her "rent" until the next year and I could focus on saving the rest easier.
I just need to get a job first before I think about that. I want to work at a nearby hospital so I'm looking at job openings daily there. I'm so glad they have you apply online there.
Quote from: Jill F on January 30, 2014, 05:56:30 PM
At some point over the last year I stopped being such a misanthrope. I have gained a lot of empathy and compassion for others, when before I really couldn't care less. I used to think that people just suck and that the demise of mankind couldn't come soon enough.
I still have some shades of that train of thought but they aren't as extreme as they were in the past. Now it's basically a feeling reserved for very specific groups (racists, thugs, white collar criminals, homophobes/transphobes, the anti Portia Porcupine types etc)
Quote from: Malachite on January 31, 2014, 03:12:57 PM
I just told my mom that I applied for two more jobs and she said "yay, more money in the house!".
She's been hinting at me to contribute more to the house when I get a job. She might want about $100 a month, which may suck for my pocket, but is WAY more cheaper than living on my own so I can't complain. That's like $1200 a year right? I may just give her the $1200 upfront so she won't nag me about paying it monthly. I have a feeling she would rather have $100 monthly because it's easy to spend $1200 in one setting and still feel lacking,wheras at least she has money to look foward every month. On the other hand, I would much rather give her the $1200 so I wouldn't have to deal with paying her "rent" until the next year and I could focus on saving the rest easier.
I just need to get a job first before I think about that. I want to work at a nearby hospital so I'm looking at job openings daily there. I'm so glad they have you apply online there.
Do it monthly or she will figure you can afford more if you can pay that much up front.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 31, 2014, 03:19:43 PM
Do it monthly or she will figure you can afford more if you can pay that much up front.
That makes sense. At least I can act like I'm just trying to "scrap" by with a job. It won't even be acting really. >.>
A quick look at one of the vanity threads reminded me of why I have them in my ignore list. They will stay there too, lol.
And I can't decide between chocolate ice cream or some oreos and milk.
Quote from: Malachite on January 31, 2014, 03:12:57 PM
I just told my mom that I applied for two more jobs and she said "yay, more money in the house!".
She's been hinting at me to contribute more to the house when I get a job. She might want about $100 a month, which may suck for my pocket, but is WAY more cheaper than living on my own so I can't complain. That's like $1200 a year right? I may just give her the $1200 upfront so she won't nag me about paying it monthly. I have a feeling she would rather have $100 monthly because it's easy to spend $1200 in one setting and still feel lacking,wheras at least she has money to look foward every month. On the other hand, I would much rather give her the $1200 so I wouldn't have to deal with paying her "rent" until the next year and I could focus on saving the rest easier.
I just need to get a job first before I think about that. I want to work at a nearby hospital so I'm looking at job openings daily there. I'm so glad they have you apply online there.
I pay my mom $400 a month and she definitely prefers it monthly, for just the reason you said. My brother once handed her $1200 for 3 months and she wasn't happy about that at all. She said she didn't even want it, that she wanted it monthly only lol.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 31, 2014, 05:40:17 PM
A quick look at one of the vanity threads reminded me of why I have them in my ignore list. They will stay there too, lol.
And I can't decide between chocolate ice cream or some oreos and milk.
Oreos and milk sounds tasty about now.
All of the picture threads for the guys are on my ignore list. I only go there when I see a new face because I'm nosy lol
Oh man, I'd kill for Oreos. :(
Ok, I decided on some chocolate milk while eating some peanut butter with some oreos immediately after. Already have some piled up in front of me on standby.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 31, 2014, 05:40:17 PM
A quick look at one of the vanity threads reminded me of why I have them in my ignore list.
Other than one noise board that is populated by probably 75% idiots, I don't use "ignore" functions on forums.
I googled big head horsey-face and in the images, it shows about 8 or 9 people from here, but not me. Most of the pics were from the show yourself thread. odd that none of mine made it in there, but other people's did.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 31, 2014, 07:25:58 PM
I googled big head horsey-face and in the images, it shows about 8 or 9 people from here, but not me. Most of the pics were from the show yourself thread. odd that none of mine made it in there, but other people's did.
I googled it and your thread of that title came up which I had missed, but yeah I'd date you big head horsey face, but you'd have to hold the peanut butter and oreo snacks, I need real food I'd get sick eating that gunk. Uh - maybe that's the romance deal breaker?
Quote from: Shantel on January 31, 2014, 09:07:06 PM
I googled it and your thread of that title came up which I had missed, but yeah I'd date you big head horsey face, but you'd have to hold the peanut butter and oreo snacks, I need real food I'd get sick eating that gunk. Uh - maybe that's the romance deal breaker?
I didn't even notice what came up outside of images. Yikes.
and I do eat real food, just not the same kind of food as some of you.
I'm wondering if I should grow my hair out all viking/metalhead or if I should cut it again.
Quote from: Edge on January 31, 2014, 11:37:06 PM
I'm wondering if I should grow my hair out all viking/metalhead or if I should cut it again.
I think you would look awesome with long hair. I saw your pic in the 'Show yourself' thread, and I think it would go really well with your look.
Quote from: birkin on January 31, 2014, 11:43:40 PM
Happy: passed perfectly to a new friend of my brother
Unhappy: he commented that he couldn't believe I was the older brother given my beard shadow not existing on my cheeks like my brother. I felt very self-aware. The guy also dressed the way I'd dress if I didnt have two big meat sacks hanging off my chest.
I'm also fairly certain my brother's female friend that was there knows I am trans and will tell this guy, making him feel weird for reading me as male. Hopefully I will never have to see him again as I'd prefer if at least once in a while I didn't have people outing me and someone could see me for me.
Apparently he made a slightly veiled comment to my brother implying that he knew I was trans, and my brother wouldn't tell me what he said. Now I'm worried. Did he assume I was trans because he noticed my features, like a sparser beard than my brother, or did the female friend out me to him? -_- She outs a lot of people so it's very possible. But now I'm just paranoid about all my features.
I guess my brother also ran into a really obnoxious pre-T trans guy at the club. Nice. This is why I won't touch these places with a ten foot pole.
I hate that I can't control how fast my beard grows, or my height. But maybe I can control other things. I could try growing the beard out fully, but it is only sideburns and neck...might look terrible without anything on the cheeks. I also am becoming more adamant about voice work but there's no advice for FTMs and I really think we need alternate strategies.
Oh and have I mentioned how much I hate being trans? *sigh* Eff this, I know one day my day will come where this is no longer an issue but it can't come soon enough.
In regard to what you said about voice, have you tried looking on YouTube? I've found a ton of videos on voice feminization, so there might be ones about how to make your voice more masculine, too. You could try searching different things, like "FTM voice," "trans masculine voice," etc. There surely has to be something on there somewhere.
looked a while ago, but all I found was pre-T guys finding ways to lower their pitch or just talk more stereotypically. Neither of which are super relevant to me anymore.My pitch is fine; definitely male. My biggest issue is speaking from the chest area. I know I'm supposed to, but I physically can't seem to. I played around with my Adam's apple as I saw some trans women recommending you feel where it is and use that but I just end up poking it too hard and hurting it. lol.
*Nothing to do with anything else*
Sometimes I think some people just have a bug in their butt, not much anyone can do about that
Quote from: birkin on February 01, 2014, 03:38:43 AM
My pitch is fine; definitely male. My biggest issue is speaking from the chest area.
Try speaking from your abdomen, When I was young I had a rather feminine voice and was often made fun of, but later on I found myself in a situation that required me to shout out orders rather loudly
I noticed that this ability to shout over other rather loud noises came from down deep in the abdomen, I could even feel it down to my genitals
I also noticed that when speaking quietly on larynx phones the power to control the sound had to come from the the same place, the abdomen
The sound comes from your vocal chords, the power behind the sound comes from the abdomen
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 01, 2014, 12:55:39 AM
I think you would look awesome with long hair. I saw your pic in the 'Show yourself' thread, and I think it would go really well with your look.
Yeah? Thanks. It will make it harder to pass, but I don't pass anyway.
Quote from: birkin on February 01, 2014, 03:26:00 AM
Oh and have I mentioned how much I hate being trans? *sigh* Eff this, I know one day my day will come where this is no longer an issue but it can't come soon enough.
Me too.
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 01, 2014, 03:59:30 AM
What about searching for videos on just lowering your voice in general? Like, ones intended for singers or voice actors or something.
I found a few websites which work on small changes (like the s' sound) and they are helpful as long as I practice. I find it interesting that our voices tend to fall in different places naturally depending on how we were born (given what you said about your voice just seeming to fall to the chest easier). I wonder if that's socialization or something biological.
Quote from: V M on February 01, 2014, 04:37:10 AM
Try speaking from your abdomen, When I was young I had a rather feminine voice and was often made fun of, but later on I found myself in a situation that required me to shout out orders rather loudly
I noticed that this ability to shout over other rather loud noises came from down deep in the abdomen, I could even feel it down to my genitals
I also noticed that when speaking quietly on larynx phones the power to control the sound had to come from the the same place, the abdomen
The sound comes from your vocal chords, the power behind the sound comes from the abdomen
Hm, that's a different way to describe it. Did you find you had to control your breathing in a different way to get it to come from there?
Can't remember when was the last time I got a new top..
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1/546048_203046906570218_221014169_n.jpg)
I wanted to take a photo on it, but my hair is disgusting right now...
Just wrote a ton. I was supposed to finish this chapter yesterday but I was pretty depressed so I didn't get any work done. -_- But today it'll be finished. Just a few sections to write on some recent protests, and then some brief intro sections (shouldn't take long once I retrieve my proposals from my locker), and this chapter is done.
The foot guy was talking about running for president today. I'd probably vote for him, can't do much worse than anyone else it seems.
I think my mom is slightly tipsy. She's going loud again.
I'm thinking i'm pretty bored and trying to figure out what to do
Quote from: Ryan55 on February 01, 2014, 05:05:32 PM
I'm thinking i'm pretty bored and trying to figure out what to do
You could easily blow half an hour walking across your state. :D
lol sad but true
Gosh my father radiates negativity and there is no doubt he passed that to me. No wonder why I'm so screwed up in the head.
Wondering what to do today, I have a new project to work on now but want to set on a design before I start, Also think I must be fairly uninteresting as I rarely get any questions on Tumblr(barring a few a couple of days) so not trying to beg for any hence no linking my Tumblr here(plus isn't that a form of advertising?) Just stuck in my thoughts I guess.
I'm spiraling downward.
Bummer.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 01, 2014, 09:22:32 PM
I'm spiraling downward.
Bummer.
*gives you a big, squeezy hug*
Hang in there, hon. You will get through it.
Quote from: Sephirah on February 01, 2014, 09:25:15 PM
*gives you a big, squeezy hug*
Hang in there, hon. You will get through it.
Thnx
Hugs from me too.
I'm wondering if all these huggable people realize, I'm not really that huggable.
but Thanx anyway, I still need them sometimes.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 01, 2014, 09:40:16 PM
I'm wondering if all these huggable people realize, I'm not really that huggable.
but Thanx anyway, I still need them sometimes.
Sweetie, unless you're an echidna, you're huggable. End of.
*extra hug for good measure*
And even if you are an echidna, I'll just have to wear lots of padding. ;D
I need to stand up to the 600 pound gorilla named Fear that's constantly knocking me down.
Quote from: Edge on February 01, 2014, 09:49:19 PM
Laura is unafraid to share her enthusiasm for a fictional character which, to me, shows confidence.
:D Or maybe I'm just a little screwy these days.
Quote from: Megumi on February 01, 2014, 09:43:41 PM
I need to stand up to the 600 pound gorilla named Fear that's constantly knocking me down.
Here is something to help you out.
(https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRqIxQpOJdh9cFZHwtRzl1wActsq3LUlZppsQ-Y4P-QF89ij8Y_PQ)
I am in love. Crazily, stupidly, madly in love. She's everything I could ever dream of and one day I want to see her in a wedding dress, holding my hands. Every time I fall in love, I think "this is it, this is the one I'm going to spend my life with" but never before have I so desperately been longing for someone. It's scary, oh dear it's scary. And I love it.
I think your love for your girlfriend is so sweet! Especially after, I think you said 3 years?
Quote from: birkin on February 01, 2014, 10:57:31 PM
I think your love for your girlfriend is so sweet! Especially after, I think you said 3 years?
Think so yeah, we don't really count. It was kind of always in the cards I guess, although neither of us realised until later lol. She's everything I could dream of and so much more. She's actually the one who "recruited me" onto Susan's lol.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 01, 2014, 09:22:32 PM
I'm spiraling downward.
Bummer.
I don't let my friends spiral anywhere, particularly not down.
Hugs Hon
Maybe I should do a transition video. I'm sure my friends back in the UK might like to see it as well as my parents. Anyone any good at these?
(https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=24759;type=avatar)
Wow!!!
Wondering why my butt is sore...
Thinking about the possibility of going on a hormones (Androgel), but I got to find a trans-friendly endocrinologist. There are none in my area and the closest one is like 107 miles away. The taxi trips are going to be super expensive, on top of the super expensive hormones. If I went that route then I'd never be able to pay for top surgery. That will have to wait I suppose. -sigh- I really wish I was in an area with a lot more resources for us.
Quote from: Malachite on February 02, 2014, 02:25:28 PM
Thinking about the possibility of going on a hormones (Androgel), but I got to find a trans-friendly endocrinologist. There are none in my area and the closest one is like 107 miles away. The taxi trips are going to be super expensive, on top of the super expensive hormones. If I went that route then I'd never be able to pay for top surgery. That will have to wait I suppose. -sigh- I really wish I was in an area with a lot more resources for us.
no bus system?
Quote from: Gwynne on February 02, 2014, 02:41:55 PM
no bus system?
none that runs that far-public transporation down here is absolute crap
I'm kind of in an ethical pickle.
I need to save for surgery and the chances of getting a job right now that will give me time off for two surgeries are pretty slim. My parents seem to be under the impression that I will be living with them for a period of time after my Master's is done this summer...and they're fine with that. I pay them $400 a month and I'm quiet, fairly clean, etc. I'll also have jobs, but likely will end up switching between jobs when I have my surgeries done.
But I feel like, man, I'm a loser. I'm almost 25, I shouldn't be living at home. I'm fully capable of supporting myself and there's nothing I hate more than freeloaders.
That being said, if all goes according to plan, after my surgeries I'll be saving up for a car, a small nest egg, and then be moving to the US. Lol. Sooo. At that point I definitely won't feel like a freeloader.
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 02, 2014, 05:01:08 PM
If you're paying to live there, and they don't have any problems with it, then you're not a freeloader.
Indeed. Not when you are paying them frickin' $400 a month.
I agree with the other two, Caleb. You're definately not a freeloader! If anything I'm the freeloader. Right now, I don't pay rent and most things are brought for me so you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. However, give me your pass to move up to Canada when you move down here. ;)
Thanks guys. :) I think it's just hard for me because I've always had this really strong aversion to relying on anyone for anything. So this has been a sore spot for me for years...I know I'm finishing up school and all but I really just want to feel like I'm pulling 100% of my weight. I felt (feel) the same way having credit card debt, even just a little. I hope that soon I get calls back from the jobs I applied to.
Quote from: birkin on February 02, 2014, 04:45:15 PM
But I feel like, man, I'm a loser. I'm almost 25, I shouldn't be living at home. I'm fully capable of supporting myself and there's nothing I hate more than freeloaders.
That doesn't sound like freeloading. It sounds like an efficient, mutually-beneficial financial arrangement.
I lived with my dad from 95(age 32) until 08(age 45) when he passed away. He wanted me around, I helped him out and at times he helped me out. I didn't feel like a freeloader and no one ever accused me of being one. I was just amazed that he still wanted me around even when I transitioned.
Oh snap you know that Law & Order SVU episode about the shelter for gay teens? I just realised Laverne Cox was the transwoman. o.O And she was buff back then lolz
Quote from: LordKAT on February 02, 2014, 05:00:46 AM
(https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=24759;type=avatar)
Wow!!!
LOL. Thank you.
Here, have a bigger version:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2F2014-02-0105-01-42517_zpsb55fcdf6.jpg&hash=12113cee17e9e0403a5c67f4d14169749a662baa)
Quote from: Gwynne on February 02, 2014, 05:26:45 PM
That doesn't sound like freeloading. It sounds like an efficient, mutually-beneficial financial arrangement.
True...well, my mom has always been the hardest on me, so that may be where it comes from. Like nothing is ever good enough and sometimes she makes little comments about how I pay her next to nothing. Yet if my brother, who currently makes more money because he isn't a student, gives her $400 it's just a great amount of money. -_-
Quote from: gray otter on February 02, 2014, 05:31:22 PM
I lived with my dad from 95(age 32) until 08(age 45) when he passed away. He wanted me around, I helped him out and at times he helped me out. I didn't feel like a freeloader and no one ever accused me of being one. I was just amazed that he still wanted me around even when I transitioned.
I don't know if my parents want me around or not. My dad doesn't seem to mind me being around, it's my mom I'm uncertain about. But like I said, sometimes she is critical just for the sake of being critical. And only of me! Surprise Surprise.
Quote from: Keaira Raine on February 02, 2014, 08:21:48 PM
LOL. Thank you.
Here, have a bigger version:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2F2014-02-0105-01-42517_zpsb55fcdf6.jpg&hash=12113cee17e9e0403a5c67f4d14169749a662baa)
Hubba hubba! ;)
Quote from: Malachite on February 02, 2014, 02:25:28 PM
Thinking about the possibility of going on a hormones (Androgel), but I got to find a trans-friendly endocrinologist. There are none in my area and the closest one is like 107 miles away. The taxi trips are going to be super expensive, on top of the super expensive hormones. If I went that route then I'd never be able to pay for top surgery. That will have to wait I suppose. -sigh- I really wish I was in an area with a lot more resources for us.
So I found a Planned Parenthood in NC, but that's about 93 miles away from me. Gosh I may just have to suck it up and make the drive down there whenever I get my license because I couldn't afford to pay for going there on a taxi every time AND top surgery. I don't trust myself to go that far though: 1 because I'm a horrible driver and 2 because I'm bad with direction, even with a GPS. Unless I move closer to there, I'm going to have to make that drive. If I happen to die in a car crash oh well. Be a man or die trying. At least I would have tried. I will just look at the positive side to this: at least I will never have to worry about transitioning anymore. I just hope I don't take anyone out in the process and I hope when I crash, it will just be an instant kill.
I dont want to be me.
Quote from: Malachite on February 02, 2014, 10:19:32 PM
So I found a Planned Parenthood in NC, but that's about 93 miles away from me. Gosh I may just have to suck it up and make the drive down there whenever I get my license because I couldn't afford to pay for going there on a taxi every time AND top surgery. I don't trust myself to go that far though: 1 because I'm a horrible driver and 2 because I'm bad with direction, even with a GPS. Unless I move closer to there, I'm going to have to make that drive. If I happen to die in a car crash oh well. Be a man or die trying. At least I would have tried. I will just look at the positive side to this: at least I will never have to worry about transitioning anymore. I just hope I don't take anyone out in the process and I hope when I crash, it will just be an instant kill.
You're not allowed to die on me Mister. :P I can't comment on the driving part as I don't have my license yet (still need to take classes :( and no cash), but I think with more practice you will feel more confident.
I'm thinkin' things are FINALLY starting to move forward in my life. Got a job, been workin' out regularly, got somebody I'm genuinely into, got my best friend...I'm goooood. YES.
Keaira, Love the bigger photo.
Malachite, I think you should go for the androgel. It may make the wait until top surgery less stressful and give you a reason to practice driving. Your death isn't allowed so drive careful.
Caleb, if you are paying for your living space, your not freeloading. It is more than it cost me to rent a room, double it even.
I must be very boring.
Quote from: gray otter on February 02, 2014, 05:31:22 PM
I lived with my dad from 95(age 32) until 08(age 45) when he passed away. He wanted me around, I helped him out and at times he helped me out. I didn't feel like a freeloader and no one ever accused me of being one. I was just amazed that he still wanted me around even when I transitioned.
Obviously he loved you sweetie!
Quote from: birkin on February 02, 2014, 10:59:20 PM
You're not allowed to die on me Mister. :P I can't comment on the driving part as I don't have my license yet (still need to take classes :( and no cash), but I think with more practice you will feel more confident.
Why is it that you're always forbiding me to die on you? LOL I just have horrible decision-making abilities and slow reaction times when it comes to driving, especially on busy roads, and I think there was some type of statistic shown that South Carolina has the second worst drivers in the U.S. North Carolina made the list at number 7 and I'd have to drive there.... >.>
Quote from: LordKAT on February 02, 2014, 11:28:44 PM
Malachite, I think you should go for the androgel. It may make the wait until top surgery less stressful and give you a reason to practice driving. Your death isn't allowed so drive careful.
The androgel is really what I want to do, but it's so darn expensive, and I don't think insurance covers it? If went that route then top surgery would have to wait a bit longer. I do agre that going there would give me more driving experience though. I've only drove once on my own and I went further than planned. >.>
Quote from: Emo on February 02, 2014, 10:54:47 PM
I dont want to be me.
Neither do I.
I'm wondering if moving to a new city is a good idea. Got offered humongous a promotion if I go.
I'd be moving from a very small city to the DC area... scary place.
Started watching Orange is the new black. This is SO weird haha.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 03, 2014, 02:04:36 PM
Started watching Orange is the new black. This is SO weird haha.
Weird how? What do you think of it so far?
I'm thinking about a lot of things that I want to talk about, but I can't keep them all straight in my head.
Quote from: Edge on February 03, 2014, 02:40:38 PM
Weird how? What do you think of it so far?
I'm thinking about a lot of things that I want to talk about, but I can't keep them all straight in my head.
Idk. Just the people. And the spaced out sense of humour. I like it but it was not what I expected....... :p
Write it down, step by step! I'm a list kind of person. My head doesn't work unless I can make lists.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 03, 2014, 02:46:54 PM
Idk. Just the people. And the spaced out sense of humour. I like it but it was not what I expected....... :p
Write it down, step by step! I'm a list kind of person. My head doesn't work unless I can make lists.
Oh yeah. The main character is very flawed as well. She's not a very likeable person.
Me too. I'll give it a shot.
Would yogurt and soy protein bars be a good diet?
You can actually pm yourself on here. Cool, a new way to talk to myself, privately even.
Quote from: gray otter on February 03, 2014, 04:36:31 PM
You can actually pm yourself on here. Cool, a new way to talk to myself, privately even.
Yeah, you've been able to do that for awhile. I would use this function when I wanted to send notes to myself for things that I was keeping track of. (stuff in fics, lists of noise related things, etc.)
Quote from: Emo on February 03, 2014, 04:27:11 PM
Would yogurt and soy protein bars be a good diet?
Only yogurt and soy protein bars, no. I'd recommend more of a variety. You can include them in your diet though.
Things I am thinking about:
-My life. I keep dreaming about the way I want it, but I don't know how to get it that way. I have a lot to learn, I don't know where I can learn much of it, and I worry that I won't have enough time to learn it all. Still, I feel hopeful. That may be because I keep day dreaming though.
-D. I was going to avoid him. Turns out it didn't even take much temptation for that to go out the window. I don't know how I feel about that or him. I'm conflicted and confused. I'm conflicted and confused about the idea of caring about someone in general.
I accidentally showed emotion and revealed that I consider myself a freak (because I'm apparently an idiot). He responded by saying that just because someone is different, doesn't mean they're a freak. It wasn't just what he said though. It was the way he said it and the expression on his face that was softer (for lack of a better word) than what I can usually read off him (or anyone). I don't know what to make of it.
I feel so...ugly. Lol. But not really over my physical features. I just feel like I'm sloppy. I need a haircut, my beard is at an awkward stage, my clothes don't fit well but I can't afford to buy more (and I have to take into consideration I have a chest to hide), got some acne scarring on one cheek from a bad breakout a couple months ago...
I've also hurt my knee and don't know how it happened.
One of the local schools brought in a guest speaker to discuss trans issues. I was getting very agitated.
a) The parents of a young transboy spent the entire evening misgendering him.
b) One of the (only) local doctors was the most vocal skeptic in the room.
c) The presenter, while having lots of energy, didn't have ready answers to a couple of medical-end questions.
Quote from: Edge on February 03, 2014, 05:04:18 PM
Things I am thinking about:
-My life. I keep dreaming about the way I want it, but I don't know how to get it that way. I have a lot to learn, I don't know where I can learn much of it, and I worry that I won't have enough time to learn it all.
What kind of things do you need to know?
Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:19:53 PM
What kind of things do you need to know?
How to fight, how to do computer stuff (or find someone to do it for me), how to get the life I want, etc.
Quote from: Edge on February 03, 2014, 10:22:17 PM
Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:19:53 PM
What kind of things do you need to know?
How to fight, how to do computer stuff (or find someone to do it for me),
Have you taken classes for these kind of things?
Quotehow to get the life I want, etc.
This may be a little more difficult to figure out. Do you know what you want?
There's a job opening as a security officer at the hospital I've been applying to. I'm pondering on if I should appy for that job. I may not have the personality to do that type of work, despite having a criminal justice degree. I'm not really an assertive person. I really do hope I get one of the other jobs I applied to there.
I'm also thinking that I need to go ahead and apply to be a 911 dispatcher even though it's out of walking/bus transportation range. I'm starting to face the sad reality that I have to get my license and drive. -sigh-
Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:26:09 PMHave you taken classes for these kind of things?
If there are any available for the kinds of things I want to learn, I have no idea where or how to find out. I have taken a look at the run of the mill classes that are available and they aren't what I'm looking for.
Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:26:09 PMThis may be a little more difficult to figure out. Do you know what you want?
Yes. I am not about to describe it in a public forum. At least not in a way that people realize I'm serious.
Quote from: Edge on February 03, 2014, 10:43:00 PM
Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:26:09 PMThis may be a little more difficult to figure out. Do you know what you want?
Yes. I am not about to describe it in a public forum. At least not in a way that people realize I'm serious.
It's too crazy, eh? well, you never know. I've heard it all. :laugh:
Someone I knew a few years back who was starting transition (FTM) showed up on Facebook...they seem to have not transitioned given the very visible breasts, long pink/blue/purple hair and their gender listed as female...
Unsurprising given that the biggest reason they gave for "feeling like a guy" was "wanting to protect my girl" and "falling for straight women instead of lesbians."
I need to work at home more. For some reason, I'm just not that motivated. I am the great procrastinator.
I'm trying to figure out how to find the pressure for water vapour when all I know is the temperature and the constant, but all the equations I know require the volume.
Goddamnit! Pretty sure I have a urinary tract infection. -_- Burning, some cloudiness. Guess I have to wake up early to get to the doctors and get some antibiotics.
Quote from: birkin on February 04, 2014, 09:46:04 PM
Goddamnit! Pretty sure I have a urinary tract infection. -_- Burning, some cloudiness. Guess I have to wake up early to get to the doctors and get some antibiotics.
Sounds like it, also drink lots of cranberry juice, it does help flush it out.
Quote from: Shantel on February 05, 2014, 10:34:39 AM
Sounds like it, also drink lots of cranberry juice, it does help flush it out.
Yeah. In the office waiting now. I am not too happy because in a week I am headed to Las Vegas. Hopefully treatment works the first time because I do not want to need a doctor in the States! Lol
I am certain that I am fairly certain that I am greatly certain that I will regret sending that message I did on tumblr with great certainty and only a little uncertainty.
For the first time in several days... nothing. And it's most agreeable.
I am wondering why anyone would ever want to have a vagina. Female or not, it's just a troll organ, seriously. I had to convince the doctors (not my usual ones) that it was impossible for me to have gonorrhea (as opposed to a UTI because the urine seems OK) because I don't let anyone touch me there, ever, in any way, shape, or form. lol. Well, it would just be a wasted test!
And then the pharmacist (who saw that my file still has a "F" on it - registered just before I had it all changed with the doctor) was like "oh you might want to take this pill that gets rid of bad bacteria in the vagina." I think I grimaced. -_- God I hate this thing. It's like the cesspool of the human body. Just collects bacteria and crap that no one wants. Every now and again likes to leak more crap that no one wants.
Also, if it's not a UTI I have to wonder why I had all those problems with peeing. It's definitely not a STD (just completely impossible) and all my other parts seem in working order...
Quote from: birkin on February 05, 2014, 12:53:12 PM
I am wondering why anyone would ever want to have a vagina. Female or not, it's just a troll organ, seriously. I had to convince the doctors (not my usual ones) that it was impossible for me to have gonorrhea (as opposed to a UTI because the urine seems OK) because I don't let anyone touch me there, ever, in any way, shape, or form. lol. Well, it would just be a wasted test!
And then the pharmacist (who saw that my file still has a "F" on it - registered just before I had it all changed with the doctor) was like "oh you might want to take this pill that gets rid of bad bacteria in the vagina." I think I grimaced. -_- God I hate this thing. It's like the cesspool of the human body. Just collects bacteria and crap that no one wants. Every now and again likes to leak more crap that no one wants.
I'd trade you. Cesspool or not. :P
You're welcome to it! Lol. I just don't get the appeal. But then, I know that Keaira can't understand for the life of her why I would want a penis. I imagine she sees the penis as a troll organ lol.
Quote from: birkin on February 05, 2014, 12:56:59 PM
You're welcome to it! Lol. I just don't get the appeal. But then, I know that Keaira can't understand for the life of her why I would want a penis. I imagine she sees the penis as a troll organ lol.
It is a troll organ. It looks like something that burst out of John Hurt's chest and should ultimately be blasted out of an airlock by Sigourney Weaver.
Oh... wait... that's Alien. Well... yeah, that too.
Quote from: birkin on February 05, 2014, 12:56:59 PM
You're welcome to it! Lol. I just don't get the appeal. But then, I know that Keaira can't understand for the life of her why I would want a penis. I imagine she sees the penis as a troll organ lol.
I suppose it depends on what you're trolling for, I don't recommend swimming naked in some waters though, one just might get a bite trolling like that! :icon_yikes: >:-) :laugh:
What I can see from the terrace in the only passable flat:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.idealista.com%2Fstatic%2Fcommon%2Ffotos%2FvolFotos4%2F27%2F29%2F75%2Fg_54348730.jpg&hash=81356c4931436219fd6684e08ec4307d039b7d20)
It's a bit far and despite having the underground at 300 metres from home it's a semi deserted area, but still cool as hell. You can't get those views inside a city.
AppleJack just wow that is a great view.
Quote from: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on February 05, 2014, 02:53:23 PM
AppleJack just wow that is a great view.
Yes... only that the rest of the place will need repairs.
Things that need to be changed to make it ok for living:
- Repair the window that can't be opened and fix a blind.
- Buy a new fridge
- Move the water heater in the bathroom to the terrace.
It has its fair share of crappy things: Wodden windows, ugly sintasol floor, old but brand new looking washing machine, and the feeling that somebody spent her last days days there suffering a log from breathing issues (lots of pills and a gigantic tank of medical oxygen in the bedroom). Still, the distribution is good, the rooms are big and the views... Just wow.
That is a million dollar view Applejack, very inspiring!
Quote from: AppleJack on February 05, 2014, 02:43:44 PM
What I can see from the terrace in the only passable flat:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.idealista.com%2Fstatic%2Fcommon%2Ffotos%2FvolFotos4%2F27%2F29%2F75%2Fg_54348730.jpg&hash=81356c4931436219fd6684e08ec4307d039b7d20)
It's a bit far and despite having the underground at 300 metres from home it's a semi deserted area, but still cool as hell. You can't get those views inside a city.
That's still in Bilbao?
The only way you could have a better view is if you lived up in Gexto with a sea view.
I'm thinking about Valentine's Day coming soon and not having a Valentine.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 05, 2014, 06:13:40 PMI'm thinking about Valentine's Day coming soon and not having a Valentine.
Don't worry, I've never had one.
And I'm pretty sure you're OK with not being affiliated with a massacre that happened 85 years ago.
I somehow managed to forget my coat somewhere. I can't remember where. It doesn't really matter since it wasn't cold enough for a coat anyway, but it was a little odd being the only person in short sleeves.
If that was a snowstorm, I'm a frost giant. (Seriously, that was no storm and only a little bit of snow.)
I'm also thinking about Valentine's Day for some reason which makes no sense because it is like any other day.
If I starred in porn, the films would have to be called "Fill Jill, Vol. 1", etc.
Quote from: Jill F on February 05, 2014, 06:52:00 PM
If I starred in porn, the films would have to be called "Fill Jill, Vol. 1", etc.
I could never do the porn thing. No way. I don't mind a little bit of literary anthro porn :D but that's as far as I go with that.
As far as anything on the screen is concerned: If I won the lottery, I would finance the making of, A: Some silent films with my noise stuff as the soundtracks. I've had these ideas for a couple of years and B: I would finance the production of some cartoons based around my fanfics and original stories.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 05, 2014, 06:59:07 PM
I could never do the porn thing. No way. I don't mind a little bit of literary anthro porn :D but that's as far as I go with that.
As far as anything on the screen is concerned: If I won the lottery, I would finance the making of, A: Some silent films with my noise stuff as the soundtracks. I've had these ideas for a couple of years and B: I would finance the production of some cartoons based around my fanfics and original stories.
I've been one of the people lucky enough to read your anthro porn. :p
:D BUT the porn is a TINY element of that.
TINY.
I am way more into Drama, Slice Of Life & Stoner stuff (in that order) when it comes to the fanfics.
The original series has no porn and never will. I also keep the stoner stuff very minimal and confine that to the adults only. :D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 05, 2014, 07:11:14 PM
:D BUT the porn is a TINY element of that.
TINY.
I am way more into Drama, Slice Of Life & Stoner stuff (in that order) when it comes to the fanfics.
The original series has no porn and never will. I also keep the stoner stuff very minimal and confine that to the adults only. :D
I did notice there was more toking than porn in the story I read. I didn't know animals smoke. :o ::)
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 05, 2014, 07:13:21 PM
I did notice there was more toking than porn in the story I read. I didn't know animals smoke. :o ::)
:D That's the beauty of anthropomorphic animals.
My sister said she would pay me $20 for my small trampoline if it was sent to her by tonight. I know this offer will never come again if I rejected it (since that's the price I paid minus tax) so I'm letting her have it tonight. My other sister is going to send it to her tonight and she will pay me the next time she sees me. I'm over the weight limit for the trampoline and there's barely any room for me to do any decent-sized jumping in this house anyways. It was an impulse buy. That $20 could go towards something else exercise-related.
Quote from: Willow on February 05, 2014, 06:12:05 PM
That's still in Bilbao?
The only way you could have a better view is if you lived up in Gexto with a sea view.
I don't think getxo will ever be on my possibilities... Most of the big mansions in front of the beach are all empty and for sale, so you can guess the prices...
It is Basarrate, one of those areas in the outskirts of Bilbao. Luckily it has a metro station and you can get to the old town in 10 minutes walking, but it is a bit of a Ghost Town. Same as Cruces (the equivalent for Barakaldo), but Cruces at least has the second biggest hospital in the country... And the gender dysphoria unit.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 05, 2014, 07:13:21 PM
I did notice there was more toking than porn in the story I read. I didn't know animals smoke. :o ::)
Kathy Cat likes da catnip >:-)
It's February and I am already planning Halloween costumes. I am also wishing I could wear costumes on days other than Halloween without needing an excuse. I am also a bit frustrated since there are four potential costumes I want to do (at least... for now...) and I can't pick one and worry about my lack of skills.
I am also wondering if I should cut my hair and hopefully pass slightly better or if I should just leave it.
Quote from: Liam Erik on February 06, 2014, 09:59:07 AM
I always knew chickens were basically evil, but indeed, they are bloodthirsty as well. I fell on the ice, leaving my leg bloody from the knee down, and the outrageously bold hen who always tries to eat me anyway was on that stuff like a magnet.
oh wow. :o In what other ways are chickens evil?
Quote from: Liam Erik on February 06, 2014, 09:59:07 AM
I always knew chickens were basically evil, but indeed, they are bloodthirsty as well. I fell on the ice, leaving my leg bloody from the knee down, and the outrageously bold hen who always tries to eat me anyway was on that stuff like a magnet.
Oh yes they are! I saw some chickens peck one of their buddies to death and eat it. Another time as I crossed a chicken yard a rooster jumped up and spiked me in the knee. All I could think of was OMG it was a puncture wound with chicken ->-bleeped-<-. My knee swelled up and got so hot by the end of the day I could hardly walk. To this day there are medical personnel at the ER who thinks it was so funny, "Hey everybody, this is the person that was attacked by a chicken!" Nothing humorous about it! >:(
Quote from: Shantel on February 06, 2014, 10:23:00 AM
Quote from: Liam Erik on February 06, 2014, 09:59:07 AM
I always knew chickens were basically evil, but indeed, they are bloodthirsty as well. I fell on the ice, leaving my leg bloody from the knee down, and the outrageously bold hen who always tries to eat me anyway was on that stuff like a magnet.
Oh yes they are! I saw some chickens peck one of their buddies to death and eat it. Another time as I crossed a chicken yard a rooster jumped up and spiked me in the knee. All I could think of was OMG it was a puncture wound with chicken ->-bleeped-<-. My knee swelled up and got so hot by the end of the day I could hardly walk. To this day there are medical personnel at the ER who thinks it was so funny, "Hey everybody, this is the person that was attacked by a chicken!" Nothing humorous about it! >:(
What did he do that with? His beak? or his claw? Was there really chicken ->-bleeped-<- in it?
Quote from: FA on February 06, 2014, 10:32:21 AM
Oh yes they are! I saw some chickens peck one of their buddies to death and eat it. Another time as I crossed a chicken yard a rooster jumped up and spiked me in the knee. All I could think of was OMG it was a puncture wound with chicken ->-bleeped-<-. My knee swelled up and got so hot by the end of the day I could hardly walk. To this day there are medical personnel at the ER who thinks it was so funny, "Hey everybody, this is the person that was attacked by a chicken!" Nothing humorous about it! >:(
What did he do that with? His beak? or his claw? Was there really chicken ->-bleeped-<- in it?
Roosters have a spike on their ankle above their feet, Being a city slicker I don't know what it's called but they are weapons. Those people who conduct cock fights (careful here) put razors on them. I assume there was all kinds of nasty microorganisms on it, the yard was muddy and loaded with chicken crap. My knee puffed up like a balloon over the next eight hours, I went to the ER to get it disinfected, some antibiotics and a tetanus shot.
"Spurs" I knew that but couldn't think of it, they are nasty! I had ten Rhode Island Red hens and no roosters, they laid nice brown shelled eggs.
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3796077824/hCF86141F/)
I want to cry. My emotional block finally feels like its down. I just need to be taken to my edge.
Quote from: Emo on February 06, 2014, 12:34:34 PM
I want to cry. My emotional block finally feels like its down. I just need to be taken to my edge.
It's ok, we all do that hon!
Its only a matter of time really.
hmmm. popular question.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml3cKrUU0ME
I wish I had a different brother. It hurts that he hates me so much.
Slightly dysphoric, a little lonely.
I look female. :'(
Feeling trapped for many different reasons.
Want to cry so bad. I know it can happen but im not getting that close to the edge.
Quote from: Malachite on February 06, 2014, 02:09:34 PM
I wish I had a different brother. It hurts that he hates me so much.
I know exactly how that feels.
*extra big hug*
You could be my brother. You'd be an awesome brother.
Keaira is worried about my health because I've been eating really bad food lately and my cholesterol is still high. She got her friend to show me her diabetes needles. lol.
Quote from: birkin on February 07, 2014, 02:17:32 PM
Keaira is worried about my health because I've been eating really bad food lately and my cholesterol is still high. She got her friend to show me her diabetes needles. lol.
Yeah, shape up birkin!
Tacos are delicious.
Wait.............
Im a 36C? o_o
Certain holidays and my B-day are very triggering for me :-\ As if there wasn't enough triggering crap to begin with
I try to participate and enjoy them sometimes but it's of no use, I always end up wrestling with intense thoughts of suicide even more than I usually do
My B-day always seems to kick it off, then comes Christmas and by the time Valentine's Day rolls around I'm about fit to be tied and trying to decide on which method of suicide would be best
Then I cry myself to sleep figuring that I'll probably die soon anyway so why bother :P
Quote from: V M on February 08, 2014, 08:57:27 AM
Certain holidays and my B-day are very triggering for me :-\ As if there wasn't enough triggering crap to begin with
I try to participate and enjoy them sometimes but it's of no use, I always end up wrestling with intense thoughts of suicide even more than I usually do
My B-day always seems to kick it off, then comes Christmas and by the time Valentine's Day rolls around I'm about fit to be tied and trying to decide on which method of suicide would be best
Then I cry myself to sleep figuring that I'll probably die soon anyway so why bother :P
Those are pretty dark thoughts Virginia, please don't even consider harming yourself. A lot of folks here think the world of you and would be devastated, I certainly would too sweetie! Change that tape that's running in your mind by taking an inventory of the good and positive things in life and make some plans of things you want to accomplish in the days and months ahead. ((Hugs))
Omg horror at Sochi!
http://www.cbssports.com/olympics/eye-on-olympics/24435712/american-bobsledder-johnny-quinn-gets-stuck-in-bathroom-bursts-out (http://www.cbssports.com/olympics/eye-on-olympics/24435712/american-bobsledder-johnny-quinn-gets-stuck-in-bathroom-bursts-out)
I want tacos. Maybe I'll make some later.
I read the first issue of the new Loki comic. I'm still excited, but still worried that it will suck and that it will pander too much to the fangirls. Also, there's a thing at the end that doesn't make any sense that is a bit worrying. Maybe it'll be explained well though.
By complete coincidence, his hair looks like mine when I straighten it which I did yesterday. I do like how my hair looks now when I straighten it (not because of the Loki thing although that makes me smile), so I will keep doing that.
A couple "friends" (there is a reason for the quotations) who recently started dating are now engaged. When I first heard they were dating, I thought it was really cool, but then I talked to them. They are moving way too fast and he has had a pattern of turbulent relationships both of which are warning signs. T's reaction to me saying something nice to her that was clearly meant to be friendly is another sign that there is something amiss. This is not going to end well.
I am so damn sick of Winter. I am totally over the friggin snow and ice. I am REALLY sick of being stuck in the damn house due to this crap. It's beginning to screw with my mental stability and making me suffer from these bouts of depression that I know for an absolute fact are connected to being stuck in here all of the time.
I've been doing this and that to take my mind off of it, but today it just sucks. This friggin depression keeps creeping in. I keep thinking about just going to bed, even though I had a good night's sleep.
This isn't frickin normal.
I wish that Spring would hurry the hell up and get here. I would even take harsh Summer heat over this crap. At least I could deal with that by dunking my head at various places when I am out and about.
But this being stuck inside all of the damn time is REALLY starting to suck. SCREW YOU, WINTER!!
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 08, 2014, 12:59:57 PM
I am so damn sick of Winter. I am totally over the friggin snow and ice. I am REALLY sick of being stuck in the damn house due to this crap. It's beginning to screw with my mental stability and making me suffer from these bouts of depression that I know for an absolute fact are connected to being stuck in here all of the time.
I've been doing this and that to take my mind off of it, but today it just sucks. This friggin depression keeps creeping in. I keep thinking about just going to bed, even though I had a good night's sleep.
This isn't frickin normal.
I wish that Spring would hurry the hell up and get here. I would even take harsh Summer heat over this crap. At least I could deal with that by dunking my head at various places when I am out and about.
But this being stuck inside all of the damn time is REALLY starting to suck. SCREW YOU, WINTER!!
Join the club.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 08, 2014, 01:17:19 PM
Only meat and cheese tacos are good.
What other kinds of tacos are there? Lol
Quote from: Emo on February 08, 2014, 02:09:24 PM
What other kinds of tacos are there? Lol
Bean and banana
Trying to get my head around this section so I can wrap it up. I should be focussing on finishing this chapter, but I'm making little connections to my conclusion and thinking about that instead. One thing at a time.
Quote from: Emo on February 08, 2014, 02:09:24 PM
What other kinds of tacos are there? Lol
I don't like the lettuce and stuff. It's gross.
I got to thinking about when I will have enough money for my surgery. I really want to have it by the end of 2014, because otherwise, my other long term plans are thrown significantly off course.
March 2014: perform final edits on master's thesis; gather committee before they have their grading crunch
April 2014: have employment, if not sooner than this (call me back damnit)
May 2014: defend thesis to committee (post grading crunch); graduate
July 2014: hysterectomy
top surgery somewhere in here??? I hope.
Late 2014/early 2015: after recovering from top surgery, start saving money and making plans to get a work visa and job for the States (or somewhere in Canada depending where I choose to move).
This is going to be a hell of a year.
So. Hungry.
Dinner is 3 hours off, so I may have to break in to the hummus and tabouli now.
Flappy Bird is hard.
Quote from: Emo on February 08, 2014, 02:09:24 PM
What other kinds of tacos are there? Lol
I like making fish tacos 8) But I only make the real deal kind, no bogus fast food for me thanks
I make my own tacos too. They taste much better than the fast food kind. I blame my Spanish teacher.
I use to live in San Diego and so Mexico was only 30-45 min.s away 8) Once you've had the real deal stuff the fast food places just look like a something that should be posted in the 'Bad Jokes' topic :D
You know what would be cool? Warning: this is going to sound really sappy. If telling people why we like them was more socially acceptable. Personally, I think it would great to get some feedback on what I'm doing right. That way I can keep doing it and be a little less socially awkward. I'd like to be able to tell other people I think they're great without that person assuming I have any other motive than just thinking they're great. Not to mention what impact it might have on people's self esteem. People tell each other all the time that they aren't good enough. I wonder what would happen if people were told they are ok as often. Not that self esteem should be based on other people's opinions. I just think it would make socialization less frustrating. Do I make sense?
I kind of agree with you Edge.
Quote from: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on February 08, 2014, 10:12:13 PM
I kind of agree with you Edge.
I'm talking with you on Facebook on Willow's picture. :P
Yes yes you are.
Wondering what to have for lunch, dieting sucks.
Quote from: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on February 08, 2014, 10:49:54 PM
Yes yes you are.
Wondering what to have for lunch, dieting sucks.
Why are you having lunch at 12 am? ;)
I love techno.
Helen Reddy is a pretty awesome musician.
Quote from: V M on February 08, 2014, 08:38:10 PM
I use to live in San Diego and so Mexico was only 30-45 min.s away 8) Once you've had the real deal stuff the fast food places just look like a something that should be posted in the 'Bad Jokes' topic :D
I live in Lalaland- trust me on this one, you don't actually need to cross the border to get the "real deal". As long as you can get the ingredients, there is no shortage of worthy cooks. I've consistently had the best Mexican food experiences here in California. Don't get me wrong, I've had epic tacos all over Mexico, but hey, SoCal is amazeballs when it comes to happy food.
I'm still on a vegetarian kick, so I'm making chiles rellenos again tomorrow. As soon as I get back on that whole meat-eating thing, I must make some carnitas tacos and tomatillo salsa. Maybe mole soon? Pain in the arse, but OMG.
Who here wants fed? I have a really cute little kitchen where I especially like to make Mexican and Italian dishes...
Yes, there are great authentic venues of every kind all over the place :) I was just goofin' on when folks go to Taco Smell or Del Snacko and think that they are getting Mexican food
Heck, some of my favorites were 'mom n' pop' shops in various beach cities all up and down the Calif. coast
Thanks for making me homesick... LOL >:-)
Quote from: V M on February 09, 2014, 02:39:10 AM
Yes, there are great authentic venues of every kind all over the place :) I was just goofin' on when folks go to Taco Smell or Del Snacko and think that they are getting Mexican food
Heck, some of my favorites were 'mom n' pop' shops in various beach cities all up and down the Calif. coast
Thanks for making me homesick... LOL >:-)
Oh thank hell for Taco Bell! Oh well, there are some pretty decent retro "Gringo" places in LA- you know, the ones with red pleather booths and order-by-combo-number so you don't have to mangle the pronunciation of "chile relleno" or "chimichanga"?
Yes, but how do you feel about the movie 'Pulp Fiction'?
Mainstream rap music is awful.
I think I am getting old.
I just saw an advert on TV for a male grooming hair product that is designed to make the hair look like it hasn't been bothered with at all. To use an expression from my neck of the woods, like "being dragged through a hedge backwards". And it puzzled me why a guy would pay not an inconsiderable sum, and take the time to make their look like they just woke up and got out of bed, when they could just, you know, wake up and get out of bed, thus saving themselves the time and money.
But then I got to thinking about male hairstyles in general, particularly of the youngsters. I've noticed some very odd ones, or... well, what I consider odd, anyway. Some that look like someone set a bomb off inside their brain and their hair sort of... exploded out of their heads.
I don't get it at all.
Now where did I put my slippers and hot milk...
I'm looking at Sephirah's avatar picture and thinking D would like it. Dear gods, I need to get a grip.
Quote from: Edge on February 09, 2014, 04:43:05 PM
I'm looking at Sephirah's avatar picture and thinking D would like it. Dear gods, I need to get a grip.
D?
Dotty?
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 09, 2014, 04:59:32 PM
D?
Dotty?
No. Someone who's name I won't spell out just in case even though no one here knows who is and, if anyone here did, they would already be able to figure out who I'm talking about because I've described him.
Quote from: Edge on February 09, 2014, 05:04:40 PM
No. Someone who's name I won't spell out just in case even though no one here knows who is and, if anyone here did, they would already be able to figure out who I'm talking about because I've described him.
Oh.
I thought you were talking about Dotty.
Plus, Dotty's a chick.
My boobs feel funny...
I weep for humanity. As I read what people say on my thesis' topic, I just...augh.
Edit: that was my 3000th post. How boss is that? LOL.
Quote from: birkin on February 09, 2014, 07:15:01 PM
I weep for humanity. As I read what people say on my thesis' topic, I just...augh.
Edit: that was my 3000th post. How boss is that? LOL.
Here's to 3000 more. *hugs*
Also, a word to the wise. Weeping for humanity isn't a good idea. I tried that once, and found you actually need more tears than there are stars in the universe. Plus it quickly leads to severe dehydration, mineral deficiencies and a weird craving for humus. ???
Quote from: birkin on February 09, 2014, 07:15:01 PM
How boss is that? LOL.
VERY BOSS!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thestompbox.com%2Fimg%2Fproducts%2Fboss-dd-20-giga-delay-2.jpg&hash=44d92f613a544922c40b6c1429b2da366fea0426)
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 09, 2014, 05:17:34 PM
Oh.
I thought you were talking about Dotty.
Plus, Dotty's a chick.
Plus, I have no idea who she is.
Quote from: Emo on February 09, 2014, 06:31:42 PM
My boobs feel funny...
Then takes your hands off them. ;)
Quote from: Edge on February 09, 2014, 07:28:00 PM
Plus, I have no idea who she is.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FDottyDog.jpg&hash=dea077aa05272627ede0f2628ab6f262c96a609d)
Here she is.
Ah. Sorry, but I've never watched the show.
Quote from: Edge on February 09, 2014, 07:35:38 PM
Ah. Sorry, but I've never watched the show.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rvh2I_40Yc
February 27th
Quote from: Shantel on February 09, 2014, 07:39:38 PM
February 27th
Don't forget to kill the goat next year!
*poofs*
I mean...ummm...what's on 2/27/14?
This song has some great bass beats.
Quote from: Donna Troy on February 09, 2014, 07:49:39 PM
This song has some great bass beats.
What song?
THIS has some phat beats!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyQ-Qt697c4&feature=kp
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 09, 2014, 07:41:54 PM
Don't forget to kill the goat next year!
*poofs*
I mean...ummm...what's on 2/27/14?
Vikings second season. No porcupines for this kid! :D
Quote from: Shantel on February 09, 2014, 08:04:25 PM
No porcupines for this kid! :D
Awwww, come on! Give in to it! :D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 09, 2014, 08:06:45 PM
Awwww, come on! Give in to it! :D
Just teasing Miss Squirrel! :icon_peace:
Quote from: Shantel on February 09, 2014, 08:04:25 PM
Vikings second season. No porcupines for this kid! :D
Yes! I am so excited.
Quote from: Nikko on February 09, 2014, 07:31:56 PM
Then takes your hands off them. ;)
But.. I like them.
QuoteTHIS has some phat beats!
Soothing stuff ;) and some phat beats indeed, totally dope.
Quote from: Donna Troy on February 09, 2014, 08:52:20 PM
Soothing stuff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCWrISj7_kI
THIS is quite soothing and very beautiful.
My mom sent an autism quiz to me so i could "learn something about myself."
I scored neurotypical...
Reading an article about the Occupy protestors...I hated them enough as it was, but I guess that in one city, they basically took over the plaza where the homeless slept, and then told the homeless they couldn't stay there because they were protesting against economic inequality!
What a bunch of chucklef*s. lol
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 09, 2014, 09:25:45 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCWrISj7_kI
THIS is quite soothing and very beautiful.
That was soothing and really lovely too :), thanks.
I feel like my counselor started this thread.
Her: "How do you feel?"
Me: Good.
Her: "Good is not a feeling."
Me: Fine then, I suppose.
Her: "Fine stands for F'd up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional."
Me: Okay, I feel fine then. ;)
(yeah I know, this isn't the "What are you feeling" thread, but this is what I was thinking)
Quote from: Nikko on February 09, 2014, 11:44:20 PM
I feel like my counselor started this thread.
Her: "How do you feel?"
Me: Good.
Her: "Good is not a feeling."
Me: Fine then, I suppose.
Her: "Fine stands for F'd up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional."
Me: Okay, I feel fine then. ;)
(yeah I know, this isn't the "What are you feeling" thread, but this is what I was thinking)
I like you. :p
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 10, 2014, 09:13:50 AM
Is that seriously what counselors say to people? Wow. No wonder I don't go to one. What a downer. On the other hand, I guess she assumes you aren't fine if you're still coming to see her. Or maybe she's afraid if you start feeling fine, you'll stop paying her. :P
That's usually the ulterior motive behind their silly BS. Don't worry Nikko, I'll be your no fee counselor and we'll have much more productive conversations than that!
Quote from: Shantel on February 10, 2014, 09:59:56 AM
That's usually the ulterior motive behind their silly BS. Don't worry Nikko, I'll be your no fee counselor and we'll have much more productive conversations than that!
Well, there is always an exception to every rule. Once my therapist and I had pretty much ran our course (right after my orchi), we both looked at each other and said: "We're done, aren't we?". I laughed and said: "Yep. See ya around" and that was it. Outside of speaking to a therapist that works with my endo a couple of times (for things that had nothing to do with my transition), I haven't bothered with one.
How can people not like hugs? >.>
I'm scared right now :(
Quote from: Emo on February 10, 2014, 01:15:36 PMWhy? what happened?
Friend of mine who hasn't seen me in about 2 months (since before winter break) wants to meet up at 3.
He doesn't know.
This world isn't worth waking up to
Quote from: Willow on February 10, 2014, 01:20:24 PM
Friend of mine who hasn't seen me in about 2 months (since before winter break) wants to meet up at 3.
He doesn't know.
Good luck. I hope it goes well.
Quote from: V M on February 10, 2014, 01:26:30 PM
This world isn't worth waking up to
Then make it one worth waking up to and don't give up until you succeed.
I swear I could get paid to write erotica for women. Why can't I unleash all of this outside of an online chat?
Quote from: Willow on February 10, 2014, 01:20:24 PM
Friend of mine who hasn't seen me in about 2 months (since before winter break) wants to meet up at 3.
He doesn't know.
Oh i see. hope things went well.
Would you tell him?
I caught my chest profile in the mirror as I was exiting the bath and thought "Omigod, I have boobs!"
Quote from: Qwynne on February 10, 2014, 06:13:39 PM
I caught my chest profile in the mirror as I was exiting the bath and thought "Omigod, I have boobs!"
:D happened to me too , nice feeling
I do the waterfall thing on mine,,,buuuut its a tiny one XD
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.siue.edu%2FGEOGRAPHY%2FONLINE%2FMGfig12.jpg&hash=a51cf4d87b5409b156b359c387389ec2eb71f2f9)
I want to change my avatar on my facebook to the one I just changed it to here for Valentine's day. I wonder why since I'm pretty indifferent to Valentine's day. Maybe I just think it's fun?
Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what to say about it that encompasses that Loki represents me without sounding like I'm trying to be like him (I don't have to try. The whole reason I like him is because he's uncannily similar) and while making it clear that I know I'm not desirable and that I'm ok with that without making myself seem undateable. Also, I do not mean it to be a romantic gesture towards anyone. It's just a Valentine's themed picture. That I am, for some reason, putting thought into. Why I am putting thought into it?
Why is it I want someone to be interested in me? That makes me feel kind of pathetic. I don't like it.
It's a little weird that I would rather use a picture of a fictional character to represent me than I would a picture of myself. Looking at him feels more like looking in a mirror than looking in a mirror does. I still see a stranger most of the time.
Speaking of which, I should show you guys a picture of me with straight hair.
Quote from: Edge on February 10, 2014, 06:33:41 PM
I want to change my avatar on my facebook to the one I just changed it to here for Valentine's day. I wonder why since I'm pretty indifferent to Valentine's day. Maybe I just think it's fun?
Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what to say about it that encompasses that Loki represents me without sounding like I'm trying to be like him (I don't have to try. The whole reason I like him is because he's uncannily similar) and while making it clear that I know I'm not desirable and that I'm ok with that without making myself seem undateable. Also, I do not mean it to be a romantic gesture towards anyone. It's just a Valentine's themed picture. That I am, for some reason, putting thought into. Why I am putting thought into it?
Why is it I want someone to be interested in me? That makes me feel kind of pathetic. I don't like it.
It's a little weird that I would rather use a picture of a fictional character to represent me than I would a picture of myself. Looking at him feels more like looking in a mirror than looking in a mirror does. I still see a stranger most of the time.
Speaking of which, I should show you guys a picture of me with straight hair.
I know how you feel ,I think ,,,my fb profile pic is the same one I use here,,,no big deal actually,,,I doubt anyone would even bother asking you why etc etc...
Quote from: Qwynne on February 10, 2014, 06:13:39 PM
I caught my chest profile in the mirror as I was exiting the bath and thought "Omigod, I have boobs!"
I so cant wait for this.
Preteen boobs tho. P(-_-)
Quote from: Emo on February 10, 2014, 06:53:11 PM
I so cant wait for this.
Preteen boobs tho. P(-_-)
its something
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 10, 2014, 06:40:46 PM
I know how you feel ,I think ,,,my fb profile pic is the same one I use here,,,no big deal actually,,,I doubt anyone would even bother asking you why etc etc...
I want them to ask me why.
Wait... why what? I use the same profile pic all the time and everyone already knows I'm trans. I just said I would be using the same pic as the one here so people could know what picture I'm talking about.
Quote from: Emo on February 10, 2014, 07:10:37 PM
I guess. I want moar tho. :(
Actually, you know what?
I can wait. I dont have a plan to hide them yet. >__>
I just googled Dr. smelly pudding splats... ('source' of my made up movie quote at the end of my posts).
Well that was disturbing. :D
I can't help but giggle constantly when it I listen to Faith No More's cover of "Midnight Cowboy". It makes me sooooo happy.
Being sick for over a week straight is starting to really get on mah nerves.
Quote from: Jill F on February 10, 2014, 10:25:34 PM
Being sick for over a week straight is starting to really get on mah nerves.
What are you sick with?
Is it bad that I am happy for her and miserable at the same time?
Quote from: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on February 10, 2014, 11:39:59 PM
Is it bad that I am happy for her and miserable at the same time?
Never. Thats how emotion and attachment works.
Well emotion and what not suuuuucks. Anyone want a free heart? It is slightly used and damaged but otherwise in good nick no known health ailments and free to a good home.
Quote from: Emo on February 10, 2014, 10:49:21 PM
What are you sick with?
I either got back-to-back nasty colds or a minor flu. Pass the kleenex, please. :P
I'm depressed, this sucks.
Quote from: Jill F on February 11, 2014, 12:08:36 AM
I either got back-to-back nasty colds or a minor flu. Pass the kleenex, please. :P
Aww. Feel better k?
Quote from: Donna Troy on February 11, 2014, 12:28:47 AM
I'm depressed, this sucks.
Huggles*
Yesterday I facilitated an in-service for hundreds of teachers (many aggressively resistant) in one location, while simultaneously coordinating a second offering in another city. I spent most of a week prepping my talk, collating handouts, folding brochures, and planning contingencies in case the audience became unruly. Everything went off without a hitch. The audience was engaged, interested, and participated in the group tasks. I came home at six last night, went directly to bed, and slept straight through until morning.
Today, I feel good at my job :)
Doctrine Dark, Skullomania, Garuda, Area, Kairi, and C Jack needs to make a comeback in the Street Fighter series. They were awesome. Heck I wish every one from Street Fighter Ex 3 Plus should come back. Capcom should also change Vega's hair back to blonde as I find that more fitting for him, Ace kind of reminds me of the Dark Magician from Yugioh. His theme song is awesome though. I wonder of C Viper is based off of Sharon
I think my favorite male street fighter characters are Doctrine Dark, Zangief, El Fuerte, Guile and C Jack. My favorite female Street Fighter character is Sakura, and that's probably because I have fond memories being so shocked that she was wearing the same uniform Usagi from Sailor Moon wore. Her theme song is awesome too. My all time favorite would probably be Zangief because he's a big, strong, manly man, and he's Russian and I've always had a fascination with Russian culture. The character that intrigues me the most is Doctrine Dark though. I feel like I can relate to him.
I never really cared for Vulcano Russo, especially his choice of outfit, but I do admire his straight out ground and pound style....him and Shadowgeist. I like the the sound effects when they are doing heavy stomps.
So I just got off the phone with my dad and we were talking about how my other wasn't much of a driver. He told me that some people just aren't drivers and that she's one of them. He said that she could only drive as far as she thew a rock, metaphorically speaking. I told him that I got that from her and he told me that no I haven't because I haven't even started. Then he says life is too short. I told him that it may b even shorter if I get behind the wheel. Then he said "I ain't never seen a (insert last name) fail, but you will be the first." I was thinkng that before he said I would be. I just said there's a first time for everything, then he told me that he doesn't have time for the bullsh*t and that he had to call his mom.
We have such a healthy relationship. :) At least he gives me props for trying to find a job. After the snow storm passes said that he's willing to take me to the sheriff's office to drop off my application so that's a good thing. Hopefully I will hear something back from the hospital jobs (or any of the other jobs) that I applied for within the bus route. It's not looking too good for the home team though.
I love David Bowie.
I'm depressed because someone stole my cheesecake truck.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 11, 2014, 07:00:37 PM
I'm depressed because someone stole my cheesecake truck.
Maybe it melted. :-\
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.curiositiesbydickens.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fmelted-2.jpg&hash=072058f21cf9b4f4793821f49cadd27c022167b8)
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 11, 2014, 07:00:37 PM
I'm depressed because someone stole my cheesecake truck.
Mmm cheesecake.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq9sMsd7Qdg
;D
I am both happy and sad at the same time for the same reasons and it's kind of confusing me.
And now I want cheesecake.
I want cheesecake now! I'll trade for cookies...
That moment when you realize youre nothing but a fetish to some people...
Yeah.. I had that moment...
Just realised the clock on my microwave is 3 hours and 33 minutes fast.
Quote from: Willow on February 12, 2014, 02:05:11 AM
Just realised the clock on my microwave is 3 hours and 33 minutes fast.
Isn't that like half of the mark of the beast?
Watching the lying game.... Uggh Suton is such a b***h
I guess nepotism works :-\ But it's kind of irritating
One of my neighbors who is 15 years younger than myself was bragging about working at the local supermarket, but the only reason he is there is because of his parent's influence upon the area's religious spectrum
He doesn't actually work very many hours and according to some of the other employees, about all he does when he is there is stand around bragging about himself and talking smack about everyone he doesn't like for some reason or other - Pretty much the same thing he does around here at my apt.s
He is also a chronic nose picker and picks at soars on his neck and such, it repulses me that he handles people's groceries so I make sure to avoid him
He's also a total bigot
Anyway that's my bitch and moan for the day, but it's been bothering me for quite awhile
Quote from: V M on February 12, 2014, 03:13:08 AM
I guess nepotism works :-\ But it's kind of irritating
Nepotism is a fast-track to stagnation and resistance.
Your neighbour sounds like a real winner. :(
Quote from: V M on February 12, 2014, 03:13:08 AM
I guess nepotism works :-\ But it's kind of irritating
One of my neighbors who is 15 years younger than myself was bragging about working at the local supermarket, but the only reason he is there is because of his parent's influence upon the area's religious spectrum
He doesn't actually work very many hours and according to some of the other employees, about all he does when he is there is stand around bragging about himself and talking smack about everyone he doesn't like for some reason or other - Pretty much the same thing he does around here at my apt.s
He is also a chronic nose picker and picks at soars on his neck and such, it repulses me that he handles people's groceries so I make sure to avoid him
He's also a total bigot
Anyway that's my bitch and moan for the day, but it's been bothering me for quite awhile
He sounds like a rather disgusting representation of humanity, have you ever considered a swift knee in the groin when passing him in the hall? >:-) It might be just the right kind of attitude adjustment for his type. ;D
Quote from: V M on February 12, 2014, 03:13:08 AM
I guess nepotism works :-\ But it's kind of irritating
One of my neighbors who is 15 years younger than myself was bragging about working at the local supermarket, but the only reason he is there is because of his parent's influence upon the area's religious spectrum
He doesn't actually work very many hours and according to some of the other employees, about all he does when he is there is stand around bragging about himself and talking smack about everyone he doesn't like for some reason or other - Pretty much the same thing he does around here at my apt.s
He is also a chronic nose picker and picks at soars on his neck and such, it repulses me that he handles people's groceries so I make sure to avoid him
He's also a total bigot
Anyway that's my bitch and moan for the day, but it's been bothering me for quite awhile
Time to bury the hatchet? >:-)
Today in health class, we were learning about physical traits and heretics and stuff like that. Well, we had this packet with notes we had to take on the subject, and it said your birth gender is one of the things you cannot control about your body. It made me feel just really awkward.
Been SO clever today haha, kitchen and living room = squeaky clean now! Also I found out most of my makeup is like 5 years old or older, going to have a serious razzia throwing away stuff I don't use anyways soon.
And now I only have like 5 things in my fridge.
And I'm burning yankee candles (seriously, google those, I hate hate hate smells in general but the black coconut one is SO good haha)
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 01:49:41 PM
Today in health class, we were learning about physical traits and heretics and stuff like that. Well, we had this packet with notes we had to take on the subject, and it said your birth gender is one of the things you cannot control about your body. It made me feel just really awkward.
cant control? maybe...change? most definately...
Nevertheless I doubt that whoever wrote the book put much thought into it...
Woke up late, and my first meal deliberations went something like this:
Maybe I'll have a smoothie. But there are no bananas...OK, maybe some of those carrots I left in the garage fridge. Oh, carrots are frozen solid. OK. I'll have the chicken from last night...it's gone. *looks inside my little fridge downstairs* Brother cleaned it with Vim and I'm pretty certain that some ended up on the uncovered vegetables. They smell like an open bottle of Vim. I could cook something big but people left a ton of crap on the counter and there's no space, so it would take way too long.
Conclusion: eating is too much of a hassle, not worth it, so I'm sitting here drinking tea.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 12, 2014, 01:53:30 PM
Been SO clever today haha, kitchen and living room = squeaky clean now! Also I found out most of my makeup is like 5 years old or older, going to have a serious razzia throwing away stuff I don't use anyways soon.
And now I only have like 5 things in my fridge.
And I'm burning yankee candles (seriously, google those, I hate hate hate smells in general but the black coconut one is SO good haha)
I think you need to get to the supermarket. ;)
Quote from: Nikko on February 12, 2014, 04:48:50 PM
I think you need to get to the supermarket. ;)
But there's people there..... *hisses and runs back into a corner* :p
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 12, 2014, 05:49:08 PM
But there's people there..... *hisses and runs back into a corner* :p
I can't even tell you how many times that has stopped me from going to the store, lol. When I was at my brother's, the only food he had was a big box of spaghetti...he was gone for the weekend. All weekend, I ate nothing but spaghetti.
Quote from: birkin on February 12, 2014, 05:59:19 PM
I can't even tell you how many times that has stopped me from going to the store, lol. When I was at my brother's, the only food he had was a big box of spaghetti...he was gone for the weekend. All weekend, I ate nothing but spaghetti.
Know the feeling too well, they should make a supermarket for the introvert. Where you just enter a booth thingy (almost like a dressing room), select the stuff you want from a screen, then pay and it just gets sent on a conveyor belt into your booth.
*siiiigh*
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 12, 2014, 06:29:07 PM
Know the feeling too well, they should make a supermarket for the introvert. Where you just enter a booth thingy (almost like a dressing room), select the stuff you want from a screen, then pay and it just gets sent on a conveyor belt into your booth.
*siiiigh*
How perfect that would be! Lol. I know some places that deliver groceries but that's a little awkward what with it being so cold here (I can see everything freezing) and with living with my parents (oh, the judgment).
Quote from: birkin on February 12, 2014, 07:05:30 PMliving with my parents (oh, the judgment).
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1339.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo711%2FJeliesS%2FMittRomneynotsureifihadseenthisbefore_ec5254_4220311_zpsc414e62d.gif&hash=27b1f120b56e1b6819f65a1fde5108b135aaada6)
No judgement.. ;)
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 12, 2014, 07:12:00 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1339.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo711%2FJeliesS%2FMittRomneynotsureifihadseenthisbefore_ec5254_4220311_zpsc414e62d.gif&hash=27b1f120b56e1b6819f65a1fde5108b135aaada6)
No judgement.. ;)
that deserves possitive rep XD XDXD
So my PS3 controller is under my bed. With the way it's set up, I'd have to crawl under there to get it. I'm afraid something willcome loose and the entire bed will fall on me, killing me. I'm scared to go under there, but this bed has another thing coming before it takes my controller.
I'm going under there, even if it costs my life. If you never hear from me again you know why.
Quote from: Malachite on February 12, 2014, 07:31:49 PM
So my PS3 controller is under my bed. With the way it's set up, I'd have to crawl under there to get it. I'm afraid something willcome loose and the entire bed will fall on me, killing me. I'm scared to go under there, but this bed has another thing coming before it takes my controller.
I'm going under there, even if it costs my life. If you never hear from me again you know why.
You have a PS3 too? I like you even more now.
I don't have internet right now; only the 3G data on my phone so I can't add you on PSN at the moment but my ID is SabresHockeyFan if you wanna send me a request.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 07:39:09 PM
You have a PS3 too? I like you even more now.
I don't have internet right now; only the 3G data on my phone so I can't add you on PSN at the moment but my ID is SabresHockeyFan if you wanna send me a request.
Lol yes sir I do. I don't own an Xbox though. I'm a Sony fanboy. I'll add you. :)
Oh and I totally made it in one piece. I got my controller....and my Gameinformer magazine that was sliding under there.
Quote from: Malachite on February 12, 2014, 07:41:40 PM
Lol yes sir I do. I don't own an Xbox though. I'm a Sony fanboy. I'll add you. :)
Oh and I totally made it in one piece. I got my controller....and my Gameinformer magazine that was sliding under there.
I don't own an Xbox either, but I do have one in my house that belongs to my mom's boyfriend. Before I got my PS3, I would play it but PS3 is much better. I'm a Sony fanboy too I guess you could say. I spent most of my childhood playing the PS2 my mom's friend gave me because he didn't play it anymore.
I just got my PS3 about 2 years ago for Christmas actually so I don't have a whole ton of games. I mostly play NHL 14 and when I get my internet back I'll be on CoD 4 and Battlefield 3. I want to get FIFA 14 since I only have FIFA 10 right now.
My Kingdom Hearts 1.5 Remix disc has a crack in it so I'll have to see if I can get a new disc from the store. Do you know if I get a new game, will my save data still be saved on my console? I got pretty far in that game and it'd suck to have to start over.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 12, 2014, 07:48:58 PM
I don't own an Xbox either, but I do have one in my house that belongs to my mom's boyfriend. Before I got my PS3, I would play it but PS3 is much better. I'm a Sony fanboy too I guess you could say. I spent most of my childhood playing the PS2 my mom's friend gave me because he didn't play it anymore.
I just got my PS3 about 2 years ago for Christmas actually so I don't have a whole ton of games. I mostly play NHL 14 and when I get my internet back I'll be on CoD 4 and Battlefield 3. I want to get FIFA 14 since I only have FIFA 10 right now.
My Kingdom Hearts 1.5 Remix disc has a crack in it so I'll have to see if I can get a new disc from the store. Do you know if I get a new game, will my save data still be saved on my console? I got pretty far in that game and it'd suck to have to start over.
I agree. I prefer the PS3 to the Xbox 360. The Xbox controllers are too big and clunky for my tastes. As for your Kingdom Hearts 1.5 remix game, as long as you use the same PS3 your data should still be saved.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 12, 2014, 07:12:00 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1339.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo711%2FJeliesS%2FMittRomneynotsureifihadseenthisbefore_ec5254_4220311_zpsc414e62d.gif&hash=27b1f120b56e1b6819f65a1fde5108b135aaada6)
No judgement.. ;)
LOL. That is excellent.
The final fantasy series seems like they have very deep and compelling storylines, though the recent FF game sems to have gotten some criticism. The games overall seem very interesting (and the graphics are beautiful), but they are a little bit too deep for me. I'll stick with shooter games.
Sadly, one of my earlier exposures to FF was the fanfic "Cloud and Tifa Mows The Lawn" so I would never be able to play the games with a pure perspective, at least when it came to Cloud and Tifa....especially Tifa.
Quote from: Malachite on February 12, 2014, 08:37:05 PM
The final fantasy series seems like they have very deep and compelling storylines, though the recent FF game sems to have gotten some criticism. The games overall seem very interesting (and the graphics are beautiful), but they are a little bit too deep for me. I'll stick with shooter games.
To me, FF will always look like this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic2.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20110128135054%2Fppc%2Fimages%2F5%2F5b%2FFinal_Fantasy_I_Battle.png&hash=d1fd9feb2ff986790ac76f69f6717a9ce324a5e0)
That's FF? Wow I didn't know that it went that far back.
Quote from: Malachite on February 12, 2014, 09:37:28 PM
That's FF? Wow I didn't know that it went that far back.
8-bit, baby!
Yeah I definately wouldnt be abl to kep up with th series then. :D
Quote from: Malachite on February 12, 2014, 09:40:07 PM
Yeah I definately wouldnt be abl to kep up with th series then. :D
Yes and no.
One of the maddening things about the games is their general lack of continuity. :-\
They're more of a series in spirit only. Every game has a plot independent of the rest.
Quote from: Qwynne on February 12, 2014, 09:38:14 PM
8-bit, baby!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chronicgames.net%2Fimages%2Fgames%2Fnes%2Fshadowgate-screenshot-008-280px.gif&hash=2f5ed00f3231552c9722a1fb001f62b49198ae91)
Shadowgate!! FTW!!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gamasutra.com%2Fdb_area%2Fimages%2Fblog%2F7492%2FdejaVu.png&hash=3de4a198990057b1179aa21eb70647415c4149f1)
Deja Vu was also an awesome game. I would always slug the mugger as many times as possible and make sure that I had only a few quarters on me so he didn't have much to steal.
I loved those old adventure games.
And then there was Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fadmintell.napco.com%2Fee%2Fimages%2Fuploads%2Fgamertell%2Fprincess_tomato.jpg&hash=337cf65726d75db6de20faeeeb129eba102d80dd)
Qwynne, you're making me sad now lol. Nostalgia much. I still need to install an emulator on my PC because a lot of games I like won't run in 64 bit.
Quote from: Qwynne on February 12, 2014, 09:54:32 PM
I loved those old adventure games.
And then there was Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom ;D
I never heard of that one.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 12, 2014, 10:19:16 PM
I never heard of that one.
"Many growing seasons ago, there was a place where vegetables lived happily, and in perfect harmony. One day, Minister Pumpkin betrayed King Broccoli. He kidnapped Princess Tomato and stole the Turnip Emblem. He took them to his castle in the Zucchini Mountains. He sent his cruel Farmies out to terrorize all the vegetables in the Salad Kingdom. Shortly thereafter, the poor King died from the loss of his beautiful daughter. But he promised you, brave Sir Cucumber, the Princess' hand and the kingdom if you bring them back safely. God speed Sir Cucumber! Hurry! Saladoria is down this path. The Zucchini Mountains are over yonder."Go forth and emulate. Even not knowing it, I guarantee it'll fill you with
nostalgie.
Quote from: birkin on February 12, 2014, 10:16:58 PM
Qwynne, you're making me sad now lol. Nostalgia much. I still need to install an emulator on my PC because a lot of games I like won't run in 64 bit.
Always ;D
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/when-nostalgia-was-a-disease/278648/
Quote from: Qwynne on February 12, 2014, 10:23:02 PM
Go forth and emulate. Even not knowing it, I guarantee it'll fill you with nostalgie.
:D No chance of that. My lappy is getting old and I doubt very much it would run anything like that. I can't even run long form videos on it anymore.
Oh well....I'm going to ride this pony until it drops dead.
But, as far as nostalgia is concerned, I looked up the wiki page on that game. When I checked out the release dates for it, a few things came to mind:
May, 88 (Japan release): One thing pops out instantly:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FRandom%2520Pics%2520n%2520Stuff%2FGetAlongGang.jpg&hash=04377fa5c951d8c959d911313f81e2467faf67db)
Funny how life works, eh? :D
I was in 5th grade and still diggin' this show (even though it had been in re-runs for quite awhile by this point, but I didn't care.) Everyone was asking me: "When are you going to grow up?" :D They are still waiting. :D
As far as the North American release date goes, I have 2 words:
Napalm Death.
By this time, the Gang was no more ( :( ) but I was diving into music in a big way, so I had something else to occupy my mind. I had recently purchased the "Death By Manipulation" compilation cassette and hearing the B side of that tape, in particular, blew my mind. The "Mentally Murdered" EP has one of the best Grindcore guitar tones EVER!!
Brilliant....
Are you trying to tell me their are newer games out than this?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f8/Pong.png/220px-Pong.png
Quote from: Qwynne on February 12, 2014, 09:43:54 PM
They're more of a series in spirit only. Every game has a plot independent of the rest.
Ah I see. I suppose it would be really confusin if there was a continual storyline, and turn off for newbies.
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 12, 2014, 11:38:07 PM
Oh god, that fanfic!
I really don't think it'll affect how you see the game or the characters, once you start playing it. If you couldn't tell just from reading it, everyone's wildly out of character. I personally thought that fic was hilarious. I think I found a pretty funny dramatic reading of it on YouTube a few years back, too.
Oh, and I think the actual title is "Cloud Mows the Lawn," if anyone is curious enough to Google it. I don't know if I want to ruin the fun by describing its "plot," but I will say that it's NSFW, so beware.
Lol "Malachite, how did you get into the Final Fantasy games?"
Me: "By the fanfic Cloud and Tifa Mows the Lawn"
Haha! I first heard of the story when I saw the Fanfic Critic read it when Arch Angel Assassin was there. Their reactions were downright hilarious. The third chapter was awful and turned my stomach though.
While I have my new first name and middle name/s picked out when it comes to my name change I keep flipping back and forth on whether to change my surname or not. My parents are fine with me keeping it but my mum(haven't discussed it with my dad yet) says she understands my reasons if I do change it.
Gah can't make my mind up.
I need to live on a planet with 30 hour days. My body lives on a 30 hour clock and it wrecks havoc with my sleep and work.
Maybe I really am an alien. I wonder where KAT world is.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 13, 2014, 07:31:26 AM
I need to live on a planet with 30 hour days. My body lives on a 30 hour clock and it wrecks havoc with my sleep and work.
Maybe I really am an alien. I wonder where KAT world is.
I don't know about Kat world but the doctor visited cheetah world once.
Taking my pills reminds of this old song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4poWiKfg1MU
I don't belong there for sure.
Quote from: Malachite on February 12, 2014, 08:37:05 PM
The final fantasy series seems like they have very deep and compelling storylines, though the recent FF game sems to have gotten some criticism. The games overall seem very interesting (and the graphics are beautiful), but they are a little bit too deep for me. I'll stick with shooter games.
Sadly, one of my earlier exposures to FF was the fanfic "Cloud and Tifa Mows The Lawn" so I would never be able to play the games with a pure perspective, at least when it came to Cloud and Tifa....especially Tifa.
The only FF game I've ever beaten is FF 10. It's a really good game.
I've played a bit of 12 and 13.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on February 12, 2014, 11:44:21 PM
Are you trying to tell me their are newer games out than this?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f8/Pong.png/220px-Pong.png
I had Pong AND an Atari 2600 back in the day. It was the shizzzle (for 1983, anyway).
Well, after getting over my reaction to the doll clothes screw up, I sat down and thought: "How can I make this work?"
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FRandom%2520Pics%2520n%2520Stuff%2Fdorispattygmpp.jpg&hash=510d741dbcda21554cd55920dec74758a07fda1a)
Here's how: I used the clothes on the two figurines that are on my desk. So now, we no longer have Dotty and Portia flanking the speakers, we have Doris and Patricia. :D
Someone educated me today on how to relate to transgender people. lol...I can't help but get paranoid when that happens though, because I'm like "and why exactly did you bring up this topic"
Also, JFC the new Facebook genders are ridiculous. I get the options for non-binary but beyond that, please. What cisgender person, outside of the occasional SJ warrior, is going to put "Cisgender Male" or "Cisgender Female" as their gender on FB?
Also, since when was Intersex a gender? -_-
Quote from: birkin on February 13, 2014, 05:36:30 PM
Also, JFC the new Facebook genders are ridiculous. I get the options for non-binary but beyond that, please. What cisgender person, outside of the occasional SJ warrior, is going to put "Cisgender Male" or "Cisgender Female" as their gender on FB?
Also, since when was Intersex a gender? -_-
That bugs me too. I've also come across a few things that list transgender as a gender. Transgender is not a gender.
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 13, 2014, 06:45:46 PM
Why did they think you needed to be educated on how to relate to transgender people, anyway? I relate to trans people the exact same way I relate to cis people. Either our personalities click and we get along, or we don't. That's really all there is to it. I would think the only people who need to be educated on how to relate are the people who have some sort of bigoted view of trans people, and I'm pretty sure you're not one of those types, lol.
How did this person introduce a conversation like that, anyway?
I was complaining about online social justice (because we were talking about approaches to research and debate), and she used transgender as an example. I then said that they were the SJ warriors that I found the most troublesome. I figure she either used transgender because she assumed I was transgender and thought I could relate, or it was just an example of a community she was trying to learn about.
Quote from: Edge on February 13, 2014, 07:19:55 PM
That bugs me too. I've also come across a few things that list transgender as a gender. Transgender is not a gender.
I know!! Exactly. I mean again, I totally support a 'neutral'/non-binary option, but why does it matter if someone is a cis man or a trans man? A man is a man.
I understand that some people feel it is being deceitful not to be upfront about being transgender and having that option for a gender on Facebook allows them to feel better about it. Having cisgender as an option is, frankly, pretty offensive. Why would someone feel the need to specify that they are not trans unless they had a problem with trans people?
It's a flawed implementation, but still a step in the right direction.
The semantics can always be tweaked later. :-\
It has been so HOT in here all friggin' day! I swear, the neighbors downstairs must have their heater on 100 degrees.
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 13, 2014, 11:14:41 PM
I can't see why randomly announcing on Facebook that you are trans is fine, but randomly announcing that you're cis isn't. They both seem silly to me, honestly. I thought the whole idea here was to be seen as the same as any cis man or woman. If someone asks me, or it's pertinent to bring up, I will, but otherwise, I figure it's no one's business whether I'm trans or cis. Now, I can understand people's reasoning in being upfront about it if you're getting involved with someone romantically, but otherwise, I don't see where the deceit comes in.
I don't see where the deceit comes in either, I was just saying that some people do feel that way. I'm more accepting of a trans person feeling that way and being open about it than a cisperson feeling that way and being open about being cis. That's all.
So, it's again that day designed to make singles feel miserable. Do I have a plan for today? Yes I do:
- Study
- Iron My Hair
- Make a Hamburguer
- Tweece my eyebrows with a cup of tea
- Shave my legs
- Clean the full house
- Dinner
- Go out, get drunk alone, swat man-flies (I hope), go back home at 2:00
And at the next day, have the worst hangover since New Year's Eve 2012. But I need it.
Why are my hands ichy?
Quote from: Emo on February 14, 2014, 04:36:51 AM
Why are my hands ichy?
Maybe that means you're coming into a lot of money which means we will be best friends! :D
Trying to get back in contact with someone who helped me through some difficult times but i somehow lost contact with.
I like the option for a custom gender. I just now put on Facebook that I am a trans male.
I think I'm going to make a super rockin lasagna. I just have to fight the snow to get what I need. BRING IT ON!! :D
If someone could read your mind and knew everything that you knew, would they also be you?
the more humans i meet, the more i prefer dogs. (personality-wise of course)
Quote from: Falconer on February 14, 2014, 02:05:59 PM
If someone could read your mind and knew everything that you knew, would they also be you?
Nope, because I assume they would also know everything that they themselves knew and could read their own mind as well.
Debating if I want Chinese or some beef ramen.
I want people to do a remake of Chakan The Forever Man.
I told my brother about the new Facebook options and he actually got so angry over it. lol. He said "what's the difference between a cisgender man and a transgender man? They're all MEN. This doesn't promote equality at all, it promotes the opposite of equality because we're trying to differentiate a group that's already treated like they're not the same."
In other news, my button on my polo shirt keeps coming undone and is just on the cusp of showing man cleavage. -_- FML. I should throw it out before I forget and wear it again.
Quote from: birkin on February 14, 2014, 10:56:40 PM
I told my brother about the new Facebook options and he actually got so angry over it. lol. He said "what's the difference between a cisgender man and a transgender man? They're all MEN. This doesn't promote equality at all, it promotes the opposite of equality because we're trying to differentiate a group that's already treated like they're not the same."
I think I like this brother.
He is really great! He accepted me from the beginning. It's kind of funny because people say to him "omg that must be so hard for you" and he goes "uh not really, I pretty much let it sink in for an hour and then I got over it."
So I'm on the phone with some lady that's trying to help get my internet properly functioning again. I seem to have internet right now but the internet light on my modem isn't on so that's unusual.
Quote from: Malachite on February 15, 2014, 12:13:22 AM
So I'm on the phone with some lady that's trying to help get my internet properly functioning again. I seem to have internet right now but the internet light on my modem isn't on so that's unusual.
You can always power-cycle your modem by switching it off for a minute or two.
Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on February 15, 2014, 12:25:33 AM
You can always power-cycle your modem by switching it off for a minute or two.
Pfffft...
Screw all of that fancy, techy, knowitall crap.
Just hit it with a stick.
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 15, 2014, 12:22:41 AM
That actually made me a little sad. I hope your internet keeps working. The internet is a better place with Malachite on it, hehe~
Trust me, it made me sad the entire day, but it did have a plus to it: it somewhat took the sting out of not having anyone to celebrate Valentines day with. Not having internet is an even bigger sting, but it seems I'm back connected to Big Brother again....for now.
Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on February 15, 2014, 12:25:33 AM
You can always power-cycle your modem by switching it off for a minute or two.
I tried that but it really didn't work. The internet kept coming on an off. The lady apparently saw the problems on her end and corrected them.
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 15, 2014, 01:14:42 AM
*Huggles you*
Yay! So it's all sorted out now? :)
-hugs- It seems like it, though the computer is running a little slow.
Quote from: birkin on February 14, 2014, 10:56:40 PM
I told my brother about the new Facebook options and he actually got so angry over it. lol. He said "what's the difference between a cisgender man and a transgender man? They're all MEN. This doesn't promote equality at all, it promotes the opposite of equality because we're trying to differentiate a group that's already treated like they're not the same."
Appreciate your bro, he sounds like a good brother :).
Gosh I hope that my Best Buy still carries the logitech n700 speaker lapdest at around $80. Otherwise, my wallet will by crying after I shell out around $250 bucks for it online. I don't know why something so awesome like this would be discontinued. I'm already preparing for my wallet to hurt. I guess I can kiss buying a moped goodbye. I regret paying $250 for driving lessons when the money could have been put towards this. I should have brought two of those lapdesks when I had the chance. Darn....
I'm starting to have more of those days where I feel like it's just better for me to be dead....not neccessarily because of the above either.
Wishing that I had the time and pain tolerance to pluck out every hair on my legs so I wouldn't have to shave.
I'm wonderimg if today I'll reunite the courage to try and go out solo. Just two hours, just that. It's not only the first time ever I go out alone, but also the first one to do it while presenting female without anybody accompanying me.
Last time in the moment I was left alone the insults came back. In, the moment I left the gay area.
I just derped and did a mistake on the jumper I'm making. Had to undo like 4000 stitches. Hisssss.
Thinking that time goes way too fast today. It still feels like I just got up and it's evening already.
I'm wondering why there's a baby constantly crying and pounding on a door next door.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 15, 2014, 12:59:17 PM
I'm wondering why there's a baby constantly crying and pounding on a door next door.
Same here, as if history repeated itself... Good thing I bought was earplugs.
Quote from: AppleJack on February 15, 2014, 03:35:44 PM
Same here, as if history repeated itself... Good thing I bought was earplugs.
It's really annoying especially when it happens at night. My neighbors are always either screaming at each other or their baby is throwing a huge tantrum.
I'm thinking about what video game I should get today.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 15, 2014, 04:20:12 PM
It's really annoying especially when it happens at night. My neighbors are always either screaming at each other or their baby is throwing a huge tantrum.
here it's been pretty awful. Neighbour above me is doing home improvements, so noise and things smashed all the time, plus my bathroom now smelling like a sewer... and another one playing something that sounds like freaking dubstep all the freaking day...
Quote from: AppleJack on February 15, 2014, 04:22:09 PM
here it's been pretty awful. Neighbour above me is doing home improvements, so noise and things smashed all the time, plus my bathroom now smelling like a sewer... and another one playing something that sounds like ->-bleeped-<-ing dubstep all the freaking day...
Ugh, I hate neighbors that play their music obnoxiously loud. It's either annoying mainstream rap BS or Puerto rican music next door.
I'm so tempted to ship Riley and Ellie now after watching The Last of US DLC. I'm sure some lemons are going to come out with them very soon.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 15, 2014, 04:27:33 PM
Ugh, I hate neighbors that play their music obnoxiously loud.
You wouldn't want to live underneath my apartment. :D But, I tend to mix up genres a lot. Plus, I have plenty of times when I am quiet.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 15, 2014, 05:52:07 PM
You wouldn't want to live underneath my apartment. :D But, I tend to mix up genres a lot. Plus, I have plenty of times when I am quiet.
I'll admit I do play music through my Bluetooth stereo sometimes that's loud but with my neighbors it's every day. I usually play rap (good rap that actually has meaningful lyrics), death metal or house. :D
You know...dealing with GID is pretty darn bad. And I will never understand "trans pride." I mean. Yeah. There is nothing wrong with being trans. It doesn't make you a bad person or any less of a person. But the way it makes me feel is just abysmal. At the airport. I got called sir and man. That makes is easier. It gives me hope that one day the rest will get better. Seeing that a year ago I never passed. A year from now I won't have all my female parts. But between dealing with this chest, and seeing trans crap infiltrating other aspects of my life, in spaces I designed to be a break from trans stuff and just be a place for me to be a normal guy... I just feel overwhelmed like there is this dark cloud over me that I can't escape.
I hate going to the hospital, really jacks around with my dysphoria :P
Quote from: V M on February 15, 2014, 07:20:40 PM
I hate going to the hospital, really jacks around with my dysphoria :P
Tell me about it. I hate when I get a physical done and they have to examine my lower parts; it's extremely awkward and dysphoric for me.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 15, 2014, 05:55:10 PM
I'll admit I do play music through my Bluetooth stereo sometimes that's loud but with my neighbors it's every day. I usually play rap (good rap that actually has meaningful lyrics), death metal or house. :D
What's the difference between Rap and House?
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 15, 2014, 07:24:08 PM
What's the difference between Rap and House?
House is a subgenre of EDM.
My nephew thinks I love his baby brother more than I love him. I let him know that I love both of them equally and that I only spent $1 on his brother for Christmas where I spent $5 for him.
new avatar. :)
I'm thinking tonight's gonna be a good night. Pierogis for dinner. :))
I'm thinking that working on other people's computers can be a pain, especially when they neglected to tell me they were infected pretty badly and I have to sneak around in there to get scanners to even run.
I like computers, have built a few of my own and have no issues with dealing with most things. but when someone says "oh, its acting a little funny" and then you get it and its like got error logs plastered all over the desktop and nothing will run without some little popup telling you its a threat(which it really isn't, its just got a lovely malware thing masquerading as security software) and all you do is basically let it sit there running a few different scanners to make sure you got everything is kind of blah. and then I've got to do a good manual clean on it as I really never have liked using many that do it for you as they aren't able to really decide what is best for one individual user over another.
And I'm getting the idea that there might be a bit of an undertone of swinophobia here.
lol, that wasn't a thought associated with computers. it was a separate thought that I expressed after the computer one. Just strike it up to me being a bit off in the head for the most part.
Quote from: petunia on February 16, 2014, 03:29:28 PM
And I'm getting the idea that there might be a bit of an undertone of swinophobia here.
Hehe! :icon_mrgreen: I was a Miss Piggy fan, she reminded me of a woman I once knew, the haughty attitude, blonde hair toss and all were an exact match! No swinophobe here Petunia! :icon_bunch:
Gonna have an interesting week ahead of us, a Polish online friend is coming to visit for his winter holiday. :D Never thought someone from another country would travel all the way to Finland, heh.
Also, having a consultation for hysto in less than a month, aww yiss.
I think I want Mexican food tonight. I don't know why refried beans sound so good right now, but GAHHHH... Must. Have. Them.
I think I'm going to break down and just cry tonight.
I am thinking how happy I am right now. Earlier tonight while out with the cis girls I hang around with I got checked out, approached by a really cute guy, explained who I was and my situation and I still got a phone number that works. I have a date this coming Saturday night!!!!! He is not sure about the trans thing, but wants to hear about it, my plans for SRS and myself in general over dinner. I have a DATE! OMG, am I in a coma or something and this is only a dream? :)
Jessica thats so awesome :)
I cant wait to date as a girl too
I never had a date before but I dont mind cause im sure my first one will be special XD
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 16, 2014, 10:24:50 PM
Jessica thats so awesome :)
I cant wait to date as a girl too
I never had a date before but I dont mind cause im sure my first one will be special XD
You will never forget it girl! :) I hope it is as close to a Cinderella story as you can get. ;)
Thanks for the compliment Alabama!
I'm noticing more guys as physically attractive. Emotionally, still kinda meh...
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 16, 2014, 10:12:51 PM
*Gives Mr. Hockey a big hug*
Things will be okay, little brother. All your siblings here at Susan's love you and support you.
Thanks.
Have to think about what my next steps are.
Quote from: Liam Erik on February 17, 2014, 01:34:39 PM
Checked on all my ewes, and have three general remarks: they are almost all fat, which after the ridiculous winter we've had so far, means I'm awesome - they are getting some definite pregnant bellies - and they are wearing some unbelievably nice fleeces I can't wait to get my hands on.
Those real cold winters produce much fuller, thicker fleeces. Is that not so? Do the ewes get inseminated in the usual manner or do you somehow have a hand in it?
I am done knitting a jumper. I am now wearing a homemade jumper. No clue how I made it, seriously, never done it before haha. But I NAILED IT. *proud*
After a string of bad luck I checked to see if I'd been born on Friday the 13th.
I was close, Friday the 31st XD
Also apparently the Chinese Zodiac says that I'm a Metal Sheep XD
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 17, 2014, 01:52:27 PM
I am done knitting a jumper. I am now wearing a homemade jumper. No clue how I made it, seriously, never done it before haha. But I NAILED IT. *proud*
Isn't jumper the British word for sweater?
If the purpose is to keep you warm then yes, it may also be called a Cardigan (possibly after a location in which it was a major industry at one time).
Usually I would just call it a top though.
Quote from: Falconer on February 17, 2014, 02:18:08 PM
If the purpose is to keep you warm then yes, it may also be called a Cardigan (possibly after a location in which it was a major industry at one time).
Usually I would just call it a top though.
Oh okay. I had a girlfriend who lives in England and I think that's what she called it.
Is she studying there?
Quote from: Falconer on February 17, 2014, 02:24:26 PM
Is she studying there?
No, she's English. She was born in Wales but raised in England. We don't talk anymore unfortunately; it was a long distance relationship.
I hear those seldom work out :(
Quote from: Falconer on February 17, 2014, 02:32:45 PM
I hear those seldom work out :(
For some people they do work out but I wasn't one of the lucky ones. :(
Bet you do not keep a scarecrow up though ;)
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 17, 2014, 02:26:52 PM
No, she's English. She was born in Wales but raised in England. We don't talk anymore unfortunately; it was a long distance relationship.
This is as if I should have written it myself haha. My girlfriend lives at the borders between Wales and England. Or, right now she's studying somewhere else, but normally. LDR sucks but she's worth it so meh. :)
today was day 48 of going to work every single day. Someday, maybe by the time my birthday rolls around in late March, I might get like a whole day off. it'd be nice. But at least I'm not burned out yet, that's something I suppose...
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 17, 2014, 03:09:04 PM
This is as if I should have written it myself haha. My girlfriend lives at the borders between Wales and England. Or, right now she's studying somewhere else, but normally. LDR sucks but she's worth it so meh. :)
My girlfriend was worth it too but unfortunately it didn't work out. She lives in Everton, Hampshire. I'm still interested in going to England; she hates it there but I think it's a beautiful country with great people.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 17, 2014, 03:31:08 PM
My girlfriend was worth it too but unfortunately it didn't work out. She lives in Everton, Hampshire. I'm still interested in going to England; she hates it there but I think it's a beautiful country with great people.
Being English myself, I would say that, as with most countries, it depends which places you go to.
Where I live is... well... let's just say it would handle the overflow when all the circles of Hell were full.
Sunderland?
Quote from: Falconer on February 17, 2014, 06:06:27 PM
Sunderland?
Haha, nope. I'm not
that northern. :P
About 120 miles further south.
I'm thinking about sending a letter to my ex in England to tell her my feelings about her. I'd love to be friends with her again.
Thinking that Mr Hockey seems like a really nice guy. :)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2F70PBJ.jpg&hash=daf36a31076c9f28ab1aaa901e6706cf80896bd4)
Also, LOOK AT MY NEW JUMPER! So proud to say I made it all by myself! I believe it's the only piece of clothing I own with a bit of pink on it..... :p
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 18, 2014, 05:52:02 AM
Thinking that Mr Hockey seems like a really nice guy. :)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2F70PBJ.jpg&hash=daf36a31076c9f28ab1aaa901e6706cf80896bd4)
Also, LOOK AT MY NEW JUMPER! So proud to say I made it all by myself! I believe it's the only piece of clothing I own with a bit of pink on it..... :p
Thanks. :) Nice jumper.
The Walking Dead game has almost made me cry twice. This game is so powerful.
I need to clean my apartment, including going through all our stuff and throw away/donate things we no longer use, complete two lab reports, prepare another, go to class, go to two labs, go grocery shopping, and get enough sleep today, tomorrow, and thursday. Oh yeah and chemistry homework. I feel exhausted just thinking about it on top the tiredness I already feel from being sick.
I have this scrape near my heel from my new shoes. It hurts when I walk and I'm not sure exactly how I got it.
The wifi here is so annoying. Not stable. Can barely post let alone email.
I wonder what it would be like to be in Vegas as a female. Maybe I don't want to know. As a man I have had so many prostitutes solicit me. And people trying to attract me to "gentlemans clubs." The word gentleman being used very loosely...now that is something I don't like about being seen as male.
I also wonder about how my dad feels about all this. Like if he has accepted it or not. Obviously he has seen all this go down. Everywhere we go it is "sir". And he noticed all my facial hair in the car and told me I should use an electric shaver like he does and then proceeded to explain how to use it. He has also been...um, well, a little more graphic in his conversations. I was laughing at this strip club named Treasures (like wtf kind of name is that? Who comes up with this stuff?) and he goes "yep, you give us treasure, we give you t*ts." He has never really said anything that sexual to me before and it has come up a few other times. It is...weird because I only ever really make dirty jokes with my brother. But it may just we'll be trying to relate to me as a son instead. I think I will stick to dirty talk with my brother though lol, it is just weird when your dad says that word.
Despite the more distasteful parts of being seen as male, it feels good to know I am seen as me. In my city it just seems hard to feel comfortable. People who know me from before, people who know too much about trans people but don't know how to be respectful...here I don't have any of that anxiety because it just never happens.
It's still weird to look at other men and realize that I don't appear my age. I look like a nerdy high school boy with manboobs. Like a 7 year age difference. And it's hard not to get in that mindset either because in many ways I do feel like so many boys do, waiting for the full beard, adjusting to physical and social change, etc. but that doesn't change the fact that I am 24.
Quote from: birkin on February 18, 2014, 12:50:51 PM
I wonder what it would be like to be in Vegas as a female. Maybe I don't want to know. As a man I have had so many prostitutes solicit me. And people trying to attract me to "gentlemans clubs." The word gentleman being used very loosely...now that is something I don't like about being seen as male.
I told you that would happen! ;D
Quote from: birkin on February 18, 2014, 12:50:51 PM
I also wonder about how my dad feels about all this. Like if he has accepted it or not. Obviously he has seen all this go down. Everywhere we go it is "sir". And he noticed all my facial hair in the car and told me I should use an electric shaver like he does and then proceeded to explain how to use it. He has also been...um, well, a little more graphic in his conversations. I was laughing at this strip club named Treasures (like wtf kind of name is that? Who comes up with this stuff?) and he goes "yep, you give us treasure, we give you t*ts." He has never really said anything that sexual to me before and it has come up a few other times. It is...weird because I only ever really make dirty jokes with my brother. But it may just we'll be trying to relate to me as a son instead. I think I will stick to dirty talk with my brother though lol, it is just weird when your dad says that word.
Yup, your dad is making an effort to bond with you, that's pretty cool really!
That the turtle is back in his shell?
Quote from: Edge on February 18, 2014, 12:05:03 PM
I need to clean my apartment, including going through all our stuff and throw away/donate things we no longer use
Did this today. Filled one carload for the recycle center and another for Sally Ann.
I'm thinking that if I keep seeing terms that I feel are slurs and downright distasteful being tossed about willy nilly, it might be time to just bail for good.
Thinking people can identify as they see fit.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on February 18, 2014, 03:50:25 PM
Thinking people can identify as they see fit.
thinking I agree.
My thoughts are my own. That is probably often for the best.
Hard drugs suck.
I did the T-25 Day One workout with my sister. She is really going to start pushing me to work out and she said she isn't going to give up on me. We are hanging out more while she has two weeks of her maternaty leave left. I wonder if I will eventually feel close enough to come out to her in the near future.
Quote from: Malachite on February 18, 2014, 07:46:04 PM
I did the T-25 Day One workout with my sister. She is really going to start pushing me to work out and she said she isn't going to give up on me. We are hanging out more while she has two weeks of her maternaty leave left. I wonder if I will eventually feel close enough to come out to her in the near future.
I'm thinking you will. I do wonder if it will really happen.
I think I look like an idiot right now crying over a video game. I just finished The Walking Dead game and I don't think I've ever cried over a game before.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 18, 2014, 08:46:38 PM
I think I look like an idiot right now crying over a video game. I just finished The Walking Dead game and I don't think I've ever cried over a game before.
*Points and laughs*
I'm kidding.
I've actually gotten teary-eyed watching cartoons before so I can't say much. :D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 18, 2014, 08:49:58 PM
*Points and laughs*
I'm kidding.
I've actually gotten teary-eyed watching cartoons before so I can't say much. :D
I was trying to be a man and not bawl my eyes out but.. just damn if you played that game you'd cry too. :( I got choked up in other parts because there's lotsa deaths in that game but I completely lost it at the end.
I seriously think that storyline is better than the TWD TV show. Can't wait to play Season 2.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 18, 2014, 07:49:01 PM
I'm thinking you will. I do wonder if it will really happen.
Probably not but we will see.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 18, 2014, 08:54:35 PM
I was trying to be a man and not bawl my eyes out but..
Now's the time to quote the cliché about "real men crying". :P
G:W:Y:N:N:E:
Great Walls Yodeling Noises Nearly Everywhere
Some thoughts that I don't expect to be understood by anyone
Quote from: petunia on February 18, 2014, 03:48:40 PM
I'm thinking that if I keep seeing terms that I feel are slurs and downright distasteful being tossed about willy nilly, it might be time to just bail for good.
I would rather you not go again. It is a delicate balance between legitimate use and disrespect.
Hi friends :police:
Let's keep in mind the Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) when posting
Particularly rules 5, 7, 9, and 10
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Quote7. Leave moderation to the moderators! Susan and her staff are the only people who are authorized to deny anyone access to this web site including telling someone to leave, or to stop discussing a topic. If someone wishes to discuss a subject that you are not interested in, suggest a new subject; go to another of the many areas on this site; or ignore that person, topic, or discussion. If you feel a person's post violates the rules of this site use the report this post function.
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Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella term
Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real than any others
Thank you
V M
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 18, 2014, 08:49:58 PM
*Points and laughs*
I'm kidding.
I've actually gotten teary-eyed watching cartoons before so I can't say much. :D
I cried watching Lilo and Stitch. In my defence, it was the "Ohana means family" thing and I was sixteen, on drugs that made me suicidal, in a psych ward, and my family was getting worse.
Trying to figure out how to make ends meet financially.
I need shoes, electrolysis (at $1/min) and hormones at the top of the list. One will have to be sacrificed until summer. I need them all desperately.
Willow why not try laser?
its way cheaper
hurts though...they re firing laser on your face ...lol
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 19, 2014, 08:01:34 AMWillow why not try laser?
its way cheaper
hurts though...they re firing laser on your face ...lol
Not sure how it translates, the website for the place near me just says $125 per session, doesn't mention how long a session is. So it may be more or less expensive. I'd go with electrolysis because some of my facial hairs are dark, some are not. Despite the fact that I'm severely tryphanophobic, I have to go through it. But likely have to wait until summer, since dad says the only personal spending he'll help with is surgery, so I have to find a place to work on campus and make money that way.
At minimum wage, a day's wages after tax all go towards only one hour of electrolysis. Considering I'd have to pay for food and save for spending money for the next whole year and for surgery as well, it's not going to work.
Wierd I pay 60 euros per session so its not that expensive :/
besides white hair are white...who sees them anyways?
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 19, 2014, 08:19:12 AMWierd I pay 60 euros per session so its not that expensive :/
besides white hair are white...who sees them anyways?
From what I've seen it tends to be a more popular procedure to undergo for both men and women in Europe. More demand usually will mean more suppliers, the combination of which tends to mean lower prices
When your skin is not perfectly white...
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 19, 2014, 08:01:34 AM
Willow why not try laser?
its way cheaper
hurts though...they re firing laser on your face ...lol
I'm trying to put this out of my mind in the dying minutes before I drive three hours to have lasers voluntarily burn me. :-\
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 18, 2014, 09:23:09 PM
Now's the time to quote the cliché about "real men crying". :P
What is G:W:Y:N:N:E supposed to mean?
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 19, 2014, 10:19:46 AM
What is G:W:Y:N:N:E supposed to mean?
How about "glib walrus youths never need estrogen"?
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 19, 2014, 10:23:55 AM
How about "glib walrus youths never need estrogen"?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDOJ4L0Edk
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 19, 2014, 10:23:55 AM
How about "glib walrus youths never need estrogen"?
too complicated.
go where you never need energy
give wine, yawn nightly, nay early
Why is there only one "e" in penis? Shouldn't there be two?
Quote from: Jill F on February 19, 2014, 08:05:52 PM
Why is there only one "e" in penis? Shouldn't there be two?
Maybe even three like in pee. Peenis, peenis, it has a ring to it! :D
I think Astroglide is short an "s" as well.
I see some larger women who wear men or unisex clothing and have a short haircut. But you can still tell they are clearly women. Thing is...I feel some, especially this one really butch woman with tattoos, look more masculine than I do. Perhaps with the exception of their voices. But yeah...they are clearly female beand get called ma'am. Why do I get called sir and not them? Furthermore, I saw them as female on sight. I saw myself in a mirror and for a second thought "oh, that's a large Asian man." When I see myself and don't expect it to be me I see a guy. And so does everyone else. So why am I seen 100% as male and not thee women who I think look more like men than I do? What is the difference?
I'm sure they are called sir sometimes. But surely not all the time. It isn't the voice because I get called sir before speaking.
Quote from: Jill F on February 19, 2014, 08:05:52 PM
Why is there only one "e" in penis? Shouldn't there be two?
That didn't help my dysphoria, Jill. :P ;)
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 20, 2014, 11:27:10 AM
That didn't help my dysphoria, Jill. :P ;)
Sorry about that, hockey guy... Here, have what's left of mine.
UGH. Dysphoria really sucks. It put me in a funk yesterday, but I'm never going back on Lexapro.
Quote from: Jill F on February 20, 2014, 12:38:10 PM
Sorry about that, hockey guy... Here, have what's left of mine.
UGH. Dysphoria really sucks. It put me in a funk yesterday, but I'm never going back on Lexapro.
If only it was that easy. Just cut it off someone who doesn't want it and attach it to someone who does.
Dysphoria does suck. Doesn't help that I should be getting my period soon. :/
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 20, 2014, 12:44:04 PM
Why is that?
I had to make do with it prior to being administered HRT. It made me feel "not myself" 24/7. Things that should have stressed me into getting things done weren't, and I became a master procrastinator. I felt emotionally detached from things and my full range of emotions was not accessible. After HRT, I felt like it was grossly unnecessary. Also, the longer you're on it, I heard the harder the landing. So then the withdrawal was HORRIBLE. The first week was a sh*tstorm in my head, complete with "brain zaps". I didn't feel like myself until day 10-12, but I was much happier without it in the end. Oh, did I mention that it made me completely anorgasmic?
I'm having bad sinus problems and my insurance seems to be canceled. Time to redo plans for scripts I guess. My doc wants to see me next month but at this rate I won't be able to. So much for my undo surgery come December.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 20, 2014, 12:44:45 PM
If only it was that easy. Just cut it off someone who doesn't want it and attach it to someone who does.
Dysphoria does suck. Doesn't help that I should be getting my period soon. :/
It can get really bad unfortunately...
For me two things make dysphoria forgetable just for a while at least... The undying hope I have inside me and the compassion and love others show to me :)
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 20, 2014, 06:13:06 PM
It makes me happy to see you finally using a picture of yourself for your avatar, Princess. You're so beautiful. :)
She is incredibly so!
I'm so looking forward to getting some fish to eat tonight. Seems my 2014 protein starvation diet is working. I am definitely feeling less muscular and dudely than I was 7 weeks ago.
Quote from: Jill F on February 20, 2014, 07:48:36 PM
I'm so looking forward to getting some fish to eat tonight. Seems my 2014 protein starvation diet is working. I am definitely feeling less muscular and dudely than I was 7 weeks ago.
So do you just stick to carbs and fat for energy then?
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on February 20, 2014, 08:24:21 PM
So do you just stick to carbs and fat for energy then?
I'm not eating much of anything for the moment, but the carbs I eat are all low-glycemic and I try to eat healthier fats like nuts, avocados and olive oil. I had put on 25 pounds of solid beefcake muscle in 2012 that I'm still trying to shed. I still don't show off my upper arms and shoulders because most MEN don't have as much muscle mass as I still do. But yes, I'm on the semi-vegetarian plan until my shoulders stop screaming "linebacker"!
Quote from: Jill F on February 20, 2014, 08:34:24 PM
I'm not eating much of anything for the moment, but the carbs I eat are all low-glycemic and I try to eat healthier fats like nuts, avocados and olive oil. I had put on 25 pounds of solid beefcake muscle in 2012 that I'm still trying to shed. I still don't show off my upper arms and shoulders because most MEN don't have as much muscle mass as I still do. But yes, I'm on the semi-vegetarian plan until my shoulders stop screaming "linebacker"!
Welcome to my world girlfriend, it's a slow process but it's coming along!
I have a good taste in music.
My need to have severe bathroom issues about every hour or two while not eating much today along with severe back pain, especially when trying to sit, could be a sign that says that my back issues may be cauda equina after all. I'm going to see a doctor about it tomorrow. I may not be in contact for a while if I have to be sent to the hospital for MRI etc. and possibly surgery.
Just a forewarning.
Yeah my left breast is totally injured from working out. I think it's bruised. I need a better bra. I look foward to when I will be able to get top surgery so I won't have to really deal with them anymore. I lost 5 pounds so that's a good thing, but I had a deep dish pizza from Little Ceasars so that probably ruined my work a little, but it was for my birthday and I don't plan on eating like that every day. Even then my brother-in-law got a slice and my nephew got a slice, and my niece got part of a slice and I ended up discarding some of the bready parts for the critters so I don't feel as bad. I start my blood pressure medication tommrrow and I'm going to start my Vitimin D medication Monday.
That's the real Princess? OMG girl, why haven't you had that up all along. You are gorgeous baby! :)
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 20, 2014, 06:13:06 PM
It makes me happy to see you finally using a picture of yourself for your avatar, Princess. You're so beautiful. :)
Quote from: Shantel on February 20, 2014, 06:20:54 PM
She is incredibly so!
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on February 20, 2014, 09:33:13 PM
That's the real Princess? OMG girl, why haven't you had that up all along. You are gorgeous baby! :)
:D thanks girls!
oh wait ,,,aaaaaaaand its gone
I found this anime girl pic yesterday and I just had to use it as an avatar XD
she stole the spotlight from me :0
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 20, 2014, 10:42:48 PM
:D thanks girls!
oh wait ,,,aaaaaaaand its gone
I found this anime girl pic yesterday and I just had to use it as an avatar XD
she stole the spotlight from me :0
lol. you sound like me.
Quote from: Emo on February 20, 2014, 10:45:06 PM
lol. you sound like me.
I could be you from the future coming back to subconsiously influence your progress...
*stares creepy at you*
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 20, 2014, 10:46:34 PM
I could be you from the future coming back to subconsiously influence your progress...
*stares creepy at you*
... entirely plausible. lol
i cant wait to be hot. :3
Quote from: Emo on February 20, 2014, 10:51:05 PM
... entirely plausible. lol
i cant wait to be hot. :3
You ll most likely be cause global warming has been getting worse in the future...
trololol :D ;D :P
No really , you know you re hot ! :)
I'm thinking I'm gonna be staying up all night. I can't sleep.
Quote from: Emo on February 20, 2014, 10:51:05 PM
... entirely plausible. lol
i cant wait to be hot. :3
You're already hot, Emo.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 20, 2014, 11:13:12 PM
I'm thinking I'm gonna be staying up all night. I can't sleep.
Is something on your mind?
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 20, 2014, 11:13:12 PM
I'm thinking I'm gonna be staying up all night. I can't sleep.
Even I will help if I can. You OK?
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 20, 2014, 11:15:48 PM
Is something on your mind?
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on February 20, 2014, 11:35:50 PM
Even I will help if I can. You OK?
I ended up falling asleep. It was nothing.. thanks for the concern.
I'm thinking I should stop picking on Mr. Hockey. He is actually a pretty cool guy.
Still don't understand hockey though.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 21, 2014, 07:27:10 AM
I'm thinking I should stop picking on Mr. Hockey. He is actually a pretty cool guy.
Still don't understand hockey though.
I'm thinking KAT is right. :P
You should start by watching today's USA and Canada semi-finals game. Winner advances to Gold medal game.
Over here hockey isn't regarded very highly, probably because it's played with heavy wooden one-sided sticks and a ball on waterlogged pitches in the rain. That and the general populace are far more enamoured with Rugby and Football :(
I was actually thinking about Mr Hockey today, we were playing floorball/land hockey today haha. Worst thing is I'm not the worst at it, not at all.
I've never played field hockey. Only street and ice.
This hockey game is making me stressed. PLEASE win this USA!
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 21, 2014, 12:20:04 PMThis hockey game is making me stressed. PLEASE win this USA!
If you love me you'll want Canada to win :P
Quote from: Willow on February 21, 2014, 12:28:47 PM
If you love me you'll want Canada to win :P
Who said I loved you? ;)
Quote from: Willow on February 21, 2014, 12:36:20 PM
:'(
Oh well :P
I'm just kidding.. *hugs* You know I love you, Willow.
...still not cheering for Canada.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 21, 2014, 12:38:53 PMI'm just kidding.. *hugs* You know I love you, Willow.
...still not cheering for Canada.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwDvF0NtgdU
What about now?
Quote from: Willow on February 21, 2014, 12:40:12 PM
What about now? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwDvF0NtgdU)
I may have Canadian roots but not today. It's all about U.S.A.!
If you loved me you'd cheer for America too.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 21, 2014, 12:42:22 PMI may have Canadian roots but not today. It's all about U.S.A.!
If you loved me you'd cheer for America too.
Not that desperate ;)
Quote from: LordKAT on February 21, 2014, 07:27:10 AM
I'm thinking I should stop picking on Mr. Hockey. He is actually a pretty cool guy.
Okay. Then I can pick on him, instead. :D I like picking on people. (But I mean that in a jokey way) You should see how I am around people in person. :D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 21, 2014, 01:44:40 PM
Okay. Then I can pick on him, instead. :D I like picking on people. (But I mean that in a jokey way) You should see how I am around people in person. :D
You, Gwynne, Sheala and Jessica have already been doing this.
I'm not sure if you really do enjoy picking on me or if you just have a crush on me. :o
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 21, 2014, 01:47:12 PM
You, Gwynne, Sheala and Jessica have already been doing this.
I'm not sure if you really do enjoy picking on me or if you just have a crush on me. :o
*giggles* No...no crush here, dude.
I did the same thing with this one penpal that I had met in person a few times. He totally got where I was coming from even though we had never met face to face, just talking online. Plus, he knew from the start that I am in no way into dudes.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 21, 2014, 02:07:56 PM
*giggles* No...no crush here, dude.
I did the same thing with this one penpal that I had met in person a few times. He totally got where I was coming from even though we had never met face to face, just talking online. Plus, he knew from the start that I am in no way into dudes.
What do you have against dudes?
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 21, 2014, 02:19:47 PM
What do you have against dudes?
I mean from, like, a romantic perspective.
I'm not, like, some militant feminist that thinks all guys should be shot or something like that.
But having said that, there is no woman that is going to want me. I'm always going to be stuck in that 'pre-op' box (I've made my peace with that so it isn't a big deal), but I know that it would be a huge problem.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 21, 2014, 02:27:39 PM
I mean from, like, a romantic perspective.
I'm not, like, some militant feminist that thinks all guys should be shot or something like that.
But having said that, there is no woman that is going to want me. I'm always going to be stuck in that 'pre-op' box (I've made my peace with that so it isn't a big deal), but I know that it would be a huge problem.
Don't say that. :(
Just because you're not going to have SRS doesn't mean a woman isn't going to want you. You'll find someone.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 21, 2014, 02:31:22 PM
Don't say that. :(
Just because you're not going to have SRS doesn't mean a woman isn't going to want you. You'll find someone.
Yeah, but you have to consider where I live. It's a fairly close-minded area in many respects, has no scenes in which to meet people other than bars and I don't drink. I can't afford to move somewhere else and even if I could, I would end up in some scary, crime infested rathole because I don't have much money. I don't want to end up in a place like that just to meet other people.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 21, 2014, 02:35:54 PM
Yeah, but you have to consider where I live. It's a fairly close-minded area in many respects, has no scenes in which to meet people other than bars and I don't drink. I can't afford to move somewhere else and even if I could, I would end up in some scary, crime infested rathole because I don't have much money. I don't want to end up in a place like that just to meet other people.
Well yeah. :(
You're not alone though. I'm in the "Forever alone" category as well.
Alone isn't a bad place, even though some parents and friends think it is.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 21, 2014, 02:42:09 PM
Alone isn't a bad place, even though some parents and friends think it is.
Yeah.
I mean...sure, I've had a few fleeting moments where I would get lonely but it leaves just as quickly as it arrives.
There are many, many more times where I am comfortable just kicking back and being by myself, rather than having someone around 24/7 and them eventually getting on my nerves.
I feel like im about to have a panic attack...
Quote from: Emo on February 21, 2014, 05:09:13 PM
I feel like im about to have a panic attack...
No panic allowed, you'll be ok!
Quote from: Shantel on February 21, 2014, 05:18:33 PM
No panic allowed, you'll be ok!
Before you told me what you did, i was taking deep breaths trying not to freak out. Thank you.
I'm wondering why I've only been here for two months and have 900 posts.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 21, 2014, 06:20:23 PM
I'm wondering why I've only been here for two months and have 900 posts.
They add up pretty fast Mr. Hockey just like years do as you get older, seems like I was in high school about 25 years ago and now I'm already seventy, omg where does the time go? ???
I get the impression one of my friends was judging me for like The Princess Bride. This guy has never watched The Princess Bride and he posts and likes cute animal pictures on facebook. The thing is, this kind of thing used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. I know who I am and that I'm no less who I am whatever my likes are.
That said, I also have some mildly conflicting ideas in my head of what I want to be like. They're probably less conflicting than I think. I just get hung up on trying to live vicariously through fictional characters. I should get better at seeing myself.
I also have the fire swamp scene stuck in my head. "We'll never survive." "Nonsense. You're just saying that because no one ever has."
Clown face paint, a fancy suit, a tooth pick with dental floss on the other end, and an awesome walk that shows confidence
I'm hoping my ex-girlfriend starts talking to me again. I left her a long message on Facebook telling her how I feel.
So my back got a bit better, didn't go to urgent care. Yet.
I also haven't eaten, which is a bad thing. I haven't really wanted to leave my room on account of my body hair being a horrid length and my facial hair being atrociously stubbled.
Thinking about how easy something is. I don't even try. A lot of the time, it irritates me, but today, I am thinking it is an advantage.
Quote from: Edge on February 21, 2014, 06:53:22 PM
I get the impression one of my friends was judging me for like The Princess Bride. This guy has never watched The Princess Bride and he posts and likes cute animal pictures on facebook. The thing is, this kind of thing used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. I know who I am and that I'm no less who I am whatever my likes are.
That said, I also have some mildly conflicting ideas in my head of what I want to be like. They're probably less conflicting than I think. I just get hung up on trying to live vicariously through fictional characters. I should get better at seeing myself.
I also have the fire swamp scene stuck in my head. "We'll never survive." "Nonsense. You're just saying that because no one ever has."
One of my favourite movies.
I'm thinking it won't be easy getting to sleep tonight like last night. Too many things on my mind; too bad I don't have anyone next to me to cuddle and talk with.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 12:18:54 AM
I'm thinking it won't be easy getting to sleep tonight like last night. Too many things on my mind; too bad I don't have anyone next to me to cuddle and talk with.
I know the feeling. -sigh-
Quote from: Malachite on February 22, 2014, 12:24:03 AM
I know the feeling. -sigh-
Yeah.. it sucks being alone sometimes.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 12:36:37 AM
Yeah.. it sucks being alone sometimes.
Get out of my head.
sigh...yes, I feel that if I had someone to love and love me back this process would be much easier...
If at the times that dysphoria would strike me there was somebody to hold me and accept me as a girl I would be much more happy...
Yet Im alone , and Im sure nobody comes even close to understanding me...
I wish somebody could understand my pain...and I wish that someday this pain will vanish,,,thats what I pray for everyday,,,
I will never understand wanting to live with someone all the time. I have never been able to do it without losing my cool. Considering I'm a pretty cool KAT, that sucks. Now if I could have separate living space and have it respected, I could probably be OK, but that isn't fair to the other person. I'm actually better off being alone and definitely more comfortable that way.
Half a metre of snow outside and I got to carry 600 kilos of hay inside. Today. Gaaah. :p This is going to take all evening.
Use a sled? We used to use a stone boat as kids.
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 22, 2014, 04:17:35 AM
sigh...yes, I feel that if I had someone to love and love me back this process would be much easier...
If at the times that dysphoria would strike me there was somebody to hold me and accept me as a girl I would be much more happy...
Yet Im alone , and Im sure nobody comes even close to understanding me...
I wish somebody could understand my pain...and I wish that someday this pain will vanish,,,thats what I pray for everyday,,,
youre never alone..
Quote from: LordKAT on February 22, 2014, 06:34:56 AM
I will never understand wanting to live with someone all the time. I have never been able to do it without losing my cool. Considering I'm a pretty cool KAT, that sucks. Now if I could have separate living space and have it respected, I could probably be OK, but that isn't fair to the other person. I'm actually better off being alone and definitely more comfortable that way.
I like the idea of having separate living space. I've struggled agoraphobia in the past. Turns out it's completely gone when I have my home as a safe space.
I am thinking that I want to have a talk with one of my friends with no bs, no hiding things, and with complete honesty. That's not going to happen though.
Quote from: LordKAT on February 22, 2014, 07:35:06 AM
Use a sled? We used to use a stone boat as kids.
That'd just be more effort, the area the hay is located is too rough for a sled :( Siiigh. Postponed till tomorrow morning, it will be super rainy. Sigh! :p
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 12:36:37 AM
Yeah.. it sucks being alone sometimes.
Yeah, it can be a drag. :/ Nights and mornings are the worse for me.
I'm thinking about how I really want to start T, and how perhaps I should find a ride share on Craigslist to take me to a Planned Parenthood in NC. However, when I look at the prices of what everyhing would cost me including transportation Androgel, it would be so much wiser just to stick with getting top surgery first. If I tried to take T first in my situation then chance are it would take me soooooo much longer to save for top surgery. It would be so much easier for me to just remove the boobs first.
I'm thinking I'm gonna call the Transgender group in my area tonight since my mom won't.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 22, 2014, 01:50:56 PM
I'm thinking I'm gonna call the Transgender group in my area tonight since my mom won't.
Get proactive Mr Hockey!
Quote from: Shantel on February 22, 2014, 02:00:35 PM
Get proactive Mr Hockey!
Yeah, if I wait for her, I'm never going to be able to talk with other people or transition.
I'm glad there is a Transgender group in my city.
I wish my father actually had more time to spend with me face to face so I can actually discuss my transition with him. He is either working, too tired, has his girlfriend or company around or whatever. Even when I go driving with him, I he won't really let me talk while driving, before driving, or after. He said something about maybe taking me out to eat for my birthday so maybe I could talk to him then, but he owes me for like 4 birthdays and a graduation so it's something that will probably never come into fruition. I don't want to talk to him over the phone because it's so easy for him to just say we will talk about it later and hang up and never get around to it. I know that from personal experience. I know that I will have to try to get him to talk to me, but I'm not sure how to go about it.
Quote from: Malachite on February 22, 2014, 02:32:09 PM
I wish my father actually had more time to spend with me face to face so I can actually discuss my transition with him. He is either working, too tired, has his girlfriend or company around or whatever. Even when I go driving with him, I he won't really let me talk while driving, before driving, or after. He said something about maybe taking me out to eat for my birthday so maybe I could talk to him then, but he owes me for like 4 birthdays and a graduation so it's something that will probably never come into fruition. I don't want to talk to him over the phone because it's so easy for him to just say we will talk about it later and hang up and never get around to it. I know that from personal experience. I know that I will have to try to get him to talk to me, but I'm not sure how to go about it.
I'm sorry that your dad is so disconnected and emotionally absentee, kind of sucks hon!
Quote from: Shantel on February 22, 2014, 03:43:50 PM
I'm sorry that your dad is so disconnected and emotionally absentee, kind of sucks hon!
He's over here right now talking to my mother. I told him that I need to talk to home afterwards so we will see how this turns out.
EDIT: It didn't turn out so good. :/
Quote from: Malachite on February 22, 2014, 06:11:32 PM
He's over here right now talking to my mother. I told him that I need to talk to home afterwards so we will see how this turns out.
EDIT: It didn't turn out so good. :/
You get an A+ for effort hon!
I'm thinking I can't think anymore. Lost my thoughts. Crumbling apart.
Quote from: Shantel on February 22, 2014, 06:38:01 PM
You get an A+ for effort hon!
He cut me off a lot and was a douchebag about it. :/
I love cheese.
Quote from: Jill F on February 22, 2014, 07:53:05 PM
I love cheese.
Mmmmm cheese!
I love it too but I try not to eat too much of it.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 22, 2014, 08:00:12 PM
Mmmmm cheese!
I love it too but I try not to eat too much of it.
I hear you there. I really love melty gooey cheese like the queso fundido I had the other day.
Cheeses be braised?
I love cheese too lol... :)
all kind of cheese except the french one :/ lol
Contemplating myself some more because I'm self centred like that.
Also contemplating evil.
I am not sure who loves who more, me or the cheese 8) Including the French one
the cheese stands alone
Who cut the cheese?
wonders of modern technology ::)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61IejvdLzfL._SL1300_.jpg&hash=2ee3a344574e58ddfca3e4c9d6a5c918a5bfc22f)
Gwynne cut the cheese.
Hey I could use that machine XD
If I ever become a professional wrestler, I will have googles as a part of my gimmick since I have a hard time seeing without glasses.
I'm thinking I'm going to either take a break from this site or leave.
Quote from: Malachite on February 22, 2014, 11:30:47 PM
If I ever become a professional wrestler, I will have googles as a part of my gimmick since I have a hard time seeing without glasses.
You could try goggles instead.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 23, 2014, 12:14:34 AM
I'm thinking I'm going to either take a break from this site or leave.
What's up?
Quote from: LordKAT on February 23, 2014, 03:20:49 AM
What's up?
Going through a lot and probably need a break from the Internet as a whole.
Do what you need to do, Mr. Hockey. I hope you come back.
I'm thinking about.... stuff...
I think a lot about what life would be like if I lived with Keaira. What good things would there be? And what things would make us want to kill each other sometimes? lol
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 23, 2014, 03:24:10 AM
Going through a lot and probably need a break from the Internet as a whole.
Hugs. Keep in mind that sometimes that's exactly when you should take the opportunity to vent a bit to those who are dear to you. Whatever is going on, stay strong. :)
I'm also going through a lot these days, a long ongoing battle with my own body is wearing me out so bad. So not lurking around here as much anymore, I just end up feeling super lonely seeing how close everyone is, sigh. But those are the cloudy days where I should keep telling myself how the sun *is* still waiting behind the clouds.
Back to work tomorrow.
I'm thinking that everytime I really want to say something here I just don't manage to say it the way it sounded in my head. And it always sounds so wrong or stilted I end up wanting to delete it (or do delete it).
I am so broke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWT-wN9mEz0
Someone holds up a sign that says: "SPEED UP!" at 1:26.
:D :D
Things would be much faster within the next ten years, but it wasn't going to be The Ramones that were doing it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buq8I0LCQow
I had a great day today. My wife and I got mani-pedis, went shopping, got cute clothes and then went to a fave restaurant for munchies.
All of this stuff used to split us up for the day. One of the perks of being trans, I guess.
I was not expecting to fill a D-cup. Least of all immediately after test-switching from my standard C's.
I guess I've been growing a bit more than I thought. ^_^
On the plus(?) side, I'm a single letter away from my mom's size, and have far outpaced my sisters.
Quote from: ZoeM on February 23, 2014, 08:27:44 PM
I was not expecting to fill a D-cup. Least of all immediately after test-switching from my standard C's.
I guess I've been growing a bit more than I thought. ^_^
On the plus(?) side, I'm a single letter away from my mom's size, and have far outpaced my sisters.
Welcome to the club Zoe! ;)
In terms of intelligence correlated to IQ, thtee groups are always referenced. The high IQ, high intelligence, low IQ, low intelligence, and low IQ, high intelligence. There's never any mention of mid IQ or mid intelligence, or the group I fall into; hugh IQ, low intelligence.
This textbook, this psychology class in general, has really pissed me off.
I'm bored, to the gym!
I'm researching phalloplasty information and surgeons in my area. It'll probably be a while until I get it because of my age and the cost but I thought I'd just be informed.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 24, 2014, 11:59:00 AM
I'm researching phalloplasty information and surgeons in my area. It'll probably be a while until I get it because of my age and the cost but I thought I'd just be informed.
Well, at least it's a step in the right direction. How are you feeling today?
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 24, 2014, 12:00:07 PM
Well, at least it's a step in the right direction. How are you feeling today?
Yeah, it is. I've been hearing a lot of misconceptions about phallo and I finally found some reliable sources. A lot of people take a while to figure out which procedure they want but I already know phallo is for me. I am worried though because it costs a lot more than meto, needs more stages to complete, longer recovery and healing, and a higher probability of complications.
Anyways, I'm feeling sick and dysphoric so I stayed home from school.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on February 24, 2014, 11:59:00 AM
I'm researching phalloplasty information and surgeons in my area. It'll probably be a while until I get it because of my age and the cost but I thought I'd just be informed.
OHIP
Today, I got a sudden urge to tell a mutual friend that I have a crush on D. ??? I didn't, but why the heck would I even want to?
D wasn't at school today. He just came up in conversation. Apparently, I get those warm feelings even if he is just brought up in conversation. I don't like it.
I may be eligible for US citizenship if my grandpa and dad fill out a few forms. That can only work in my favour.
I just started my Vitimin D prescription. I wonder if this will help give some energy.
Sometimes, Bandcamp irritates the hell out of me. Right when it gets to a really good part in a track it craps out.
:icon_censored:
Quote from: birkin on February 24, 2014, 05:26:18 PM
I may be eligible for US citizenship if my grandpa and dad fill out a few forms. That can only work in my favour.
Watch out for the tax implications! IRS will expect a cut whether you live north or south. NAFTA residency
might be a better option if you can swing it.
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 24, 2014, 06:12:59 PM
Watch out for the tax implications! IRS will expect a cut whether you live north or south. NAFTA residency might be a better option if you can swing it.
Ah, thanks for the heads up! It's not a for sure yet, as some parts of the form are a little unclear, but I will keep it in mind.
Quote from: birkin on February 24, 2014, 06:16:06 PM
Ah, thanks for the heads up! It's not a for sure yet, as some parts of the form are a little unclear, but I will keep it in mind.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe-investor/personal-finance/retirement-rrsps/dual-citizen-its-best-not-to-ignore-the-tax-rules/article16639806/
Quote from: Willow on February 24, 2014, 08:19:00 AM
In terms of intelligence correlated to IQ, thtee groups are always referenced. The high IQ, high intelligence, low IQ, low intelligence, and low IQ, high intelligence. There's never any mention of mid IQ or mid intelligence, or the group I fall into; hugh IQ, low intelligence.
This textbook, this psychology class in general, has really pissed me off.
I'm confused, as IQ is a measurement of intelligence as indicated by what IQ stands for (Intelligence Quotient). Are you referring to something else when you say intelligence?
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on February 24, 2014, 06:40:51 PM
I'm confused, as IQ is a measurement of intelligence as indicated by what IQ stands for (Intelligence Quotient). Are you referring to something else when you say intelligence?
I suspect that she means practical intelligence (praxis).
Why is the Bald Eagle called the Bald Eagle? It obviously isn't bald - Did they misspell it? Too lazy to call it the white feather headed eagle? What's going on with that?
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 24, 2014, 06:43:11 PM
I suspect that she means practical intelligence (praxis).
so, street smarts?
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on February 24, 2014, 06:44:39 PM
so, street smarts?
Handy smarts. She might also mean street smarts, though. Less likely, it occurs to me that she might have means EQ (emotional intelligence).
Quote from: V M on February 24, 2014, 06:43:43 PM
Why is the Bald Eagle called the Bald Eagle? It obviously isn't bald - Did they misspell it? Too lazy to call it the white feather headed eagle? What's going on with that?
Let one land on your head and then count how much hair you have left. >:-)
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 24, 2014, 06:43:11 PM
I suspect that she means practical intelligence (praxis).
True, I've met plenty of folks with high IQs but little to no common or practical sense
I prefer Gardner's Multiple Intelligences model to traditional IQ. Does a much better job of respecting the diversity of "smarts".
I don't like any other model of intelligence as they all make me less intelligent than IQ on its own. :P
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 24, 2014, 06:46:44 PM
Let one land on your head and then count how much hair you have left. >:-)
LOL... Think I'll wear a hat
Some wounds are self inflicted - Don't ask me the reference of that >:-)
Quote from: V M on February 24, 2014, 06:56:03 PM
Some wounds are self inflicted - Don't ask me the reference of that >:-)
Now I have and image of an eagle tearing out its own feathers. :-\
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 24, 2014, 06:56:53 PM
Now I have and image of an eagle tearing out its own feathers. :-\
No sorry, that's not it ::) LOL... I'm terrible
Well, this'll be interesting to say the least. Gonna have a commander match of MTG via Skype later today.
Quote from: alabamagirl on February 24, 2014, 02:54:49 PMI didn't even know there was a difference between IQ and intelligence. In fact, I was under the impression that the creation of the IQ was to try to measure intelligence, as flawed as such a pursuit is.
Sometimes I consider taking an IQ test, out of curiosity. I took one when I was a child, which I barely remember at this point, and I got some crazy high score on it. But if I take one again, it might just end up telling me that I've turned into a total moron as an adult. I'd rather just keep my delusions of being smart in that case. And in the end, I'm too lazy to bother answering all those questions again anyway.
Perhaps "smartness" may have been a better term than intelligence. Like how savants tend to have sub-80 IQs, yet are extremely knowledgeable about a particular subject. On the other hand, I have a high IQ, yet don't seem to be able to do anything with it, just knowing a random string of facts that when put together have no correlation. The "normal" ("smartness" and IQ correlate) and "savant" (IQ is far lower than "smartness") are always mentioned, but there's never any mention of us who have and IQ far higher than our "smartness"
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on February 24, 2014, 06:50:33 PMI don't like any other model of intelligence as they all make me less intelligent than IQ on its own. :P
I'd agree. Let's look at mine:
Musical-rhythmic: low
Visual-spatial: moderate
Verbal-linguistic: moderate-high
Logical-mathematical: moderate-low
Bodily-kinaesthetic: low
Interpersonal: low
Intrapersonal: moderate-low
Naturalistic: this one is interesting; it has mention of being able to classify natural forms such as animal and plant species, as well as rock and mountain types, and while being unable to do that, I can do so with artificial objects, like knowing the difference between different aircraft type, even down to the engines. So, in terms of actual natural naturalistic intelligence: low. Artificial naturalistic intelligence: moderate-high
Existential: nonexistant
So there, it doesn't really match up with someone with a high IQ, making it very confusing to me why I am so intelligent, but not very smart.
When I start to tally up my total costs for top surgery and liposucton I realize that I definatelly need to start selling things on Craigslist again.
Quote from: Willow on February 24, 2014, 11:47:08 PM
Musical-rhythmic: low
Visual-spatial: moderate
Verbal-linguistic: moderate-high
Logical-mathematical: moderate-low
Bodily-kinaesthetic: low
Interpersonal: low
Intrapersonal: moderate-low
Naturalistic: this one is interesting; it has mention of being able to classify natural forms such as animal and plant species, as well as rock and mountain types, and while being unable to do that, I can do so with artificial objects, like knowing the difference between different aircraft type, even down to the engines. So, in terms of actual natural naturalistic intelligence: low. Artificial naturalistic intelligence: moderate-high
Existential: nonexistant
I actually think that the answer to your question is in your results. The key to improving your practical skills is to develop those areas that are low so that you become more well-rounded. Then, your intelligences can play off one another and you'll be able to plan practical problem solving more thoroughly (and, by extension, effectively).
I got so scared. I'm at my brother's place alone and some stranger knocked on the door. It's dark. lol. I was laying on the couch and the windows were open so he could see me there and knocked on the window. I answered it and it was fine, just the gas man, said he'd come back in a few months or something. But for a minute I was worried.
LOL...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgYqIvnPvqQ
I seem to be more comfortable with showing my personality in public. Unfortunately for me, I am now less cautious than I should be. Fortunately, the freedom I feel makes it worth it. Unfortunately for a couple of the people I hang out with, I am also showing a rougher personality than the one I used to show them. The rougher personality is mine. The one they used to know was my attempting to get people to like me. Fortunately for me, I prefer showing my real personality than a people pleasing mask a million times over. It's just a couple people that have a problem with it though. My male friends seem to be completely fine with it.
Thinking the secretary from the doctor should have replied. I'll call back again after breakfast. I still have over 3 hours until class, plenty of time to deal with things.
The game Plague is addicting.
Thinking if I ever get a high enough paying job and get all of my transition surgeries out of the way, I won't be as much as a cheapskate in general and I will actually spend money on the things I like such as cosplay and video games as long as no catastrophic event happens that will drain my money.
I was thinking about something my ex reminded me of a few days ago. She had a nightmare where I was still with her, and was cheating on her with an actress. She asked me to choose between her and the actress, and I chose the actress. So I said to her (irl after she told me about this dream) "I don't know where you got stuff like that from...even when we were together you were always convinced I'd pick someone else the moment they came along. When really, I never would have."
And she said "you did. You chose J." (J was an emotional affair I had early into my relationship with my ex - I broke her heart, and rather than discontinue the emotional affair, I continued talking to J and broke my ex's heart over and over again :( ). I said "I know I kept talking to J, but I never actually chose that, if it came down to it, I'd have chosen you." She said "that's not what you told me. You told me once that if you were forced to choose, you'd choose that over me."
My reaction when she told me this was: totally devastated. I don't remember saying that, and I couldn't even fathom myself feeling that way at any point in time. I loved her. When she left me, I was messed up for over a year and a half. Three years later, I am over her, but I still feel terrible over what happened.
So I contemplated on what I was thinking at the time. Why would I say that when it clearly was not true? I couldn't even fathom saying that now...so what changed? Well, upon reflection, I think I know what it was. At the time, I felt I had very little agency. Talking to J was an escape - it was a way to dump all my emotional problems on someone who I wasn't in any way involved with. It gave me a safe amount of distance. If I talked to my ex, it would bring my problems too close to home. With J, I kept my emotions out of my actual life.
Because I wanted my problems to be magically solved rather than facing them. It was a lot easier to talk to someone about gender, abstractly, than to confront the fact that I was trans and actually come out and start the transition process. It was a lot easier to talk to J in an abstract way about abuse, rather than confront the fact that I am a survivor of abuse and, in many ways, was still dealing with dysfunctional and abusive behaviour from others. J couldn't help me solve my problems - I could just get validation that I was an OK person and that it was hard. Whereas with my ex...she was an intimate part of my life and could actually propose solutions, were I willing to take them.
I wish I had known better. I wish I had known that I wasn't paralyzed - that I could, in fact, come out as trans, find the doctors, and pursue hormones and surgeries on my own. That I could, in fact, stand up to my family and not end up homeless. That I could make the abuse stop from others around me, if I were willing to stand my ground and wait for them to realize I wouldn't take garbage. That I could leave a crappy job and find something better. That I could improve the aspects of my relationship that were struggling. Instead I just dove into dysfunction and depression, and lost someone very important to me. We didn't break up over J, ultimately, but it fractured her trust in me, and when I became depressed after my transition was put on hold, it just shattered what was left.
I think I am better now. I tell my girl a lot (everything, lol). I don't lie, I go out of my way to make time for her, and despite the fact that we can't really be official, I am loyal in my heart to her because I know she loves me and I love her too. And if I wait, in time, she may be in a situation to actually be with me. She's worth waiting for. But it's hard to recognize the fact that I have hurt someone in the past. A big theme when I saw a counsellor a couple years back, after the breakup, was self-forgiveness, but I don't really know if I can ever get there. My ex still sometimes feels angry or whatever over the way things went, and she's been so good to me. The fact that we are friends is nothing short of a miracle, and I know that for the sake of remaining my friend, she put herself through a lot more pain and sacrifice than she would have had to if she cut herself out of my life.
Hindsight is always so painfully clear, followed by guilt feelings, and the "If only's, and would have, could have and should have" thoughts and we give ourselves emotional beatings over it. Fractured trust is difficult and often impossible to mend, I've been there and am on a very short self imposed leash because of it. Hugs Caleb!
Quote from: Shantel on February 28, 2014, 10:25:40 AM
Hindsight is always so painfully clear, followed by guilt feelings, and the "If only's, and would have, could have and should have" thoughts and we give ourselves emotional beatings over it. Fractured trust is difficult and often impossible to mend, I've been there and am on a very short self imposed leash because of it. Hugs Caleb!
*hugs* Thanks Shantel. :)
That I hate bullying and that it has no place on this forum.
Was out with my grandparents and it makes you pretty acutely aware of your own mortality. My grandma is in good health, even though she's on quite a few pills - like she's still all there and in decent physical shape. My grandpa, on the other hand...he's not in such great shape, partly because of health issues, mostly because of bad lifestyle choices. His pants were falling down in Walmart and we almost had to pull them up for him...and he can't tie his own shoes, can't walk hardly anywhere, it's just really hard to wrap one's head around.
Quote from: birkin on March 01, 2014, 03:49:37 PM
Was out with my grandparents and it makes you pretty acutely aware of your own mortality. My grandma is in good health, even though she's on quite a few pills - like she's still all there and in decent physical shape. My grandpa, on the other hand...he's not in such great shape, partly because of health issues, mostly because of bad lifestyle choices. His pants were falling down in Walmart and we almost had to pull them up for him...and he can't tie his own shoes, can't walk hardly anywhere, it's just really hard to wrap one's head around.
Don't worry hon, from what I hear he would fit right in at Walmart. :D
Quote from: Shantel on March 01, 2014, 05:34:21 PM
Don't worry hon, from what I hear he would fit right in at Walmart. :D
LOL! ;D You know what's up.
My sister texted the lady that was one of the leaders in the hospital cafeteria to see if perhaps I could get a job there and the lady said she would talk to her supervisor Monday. We will see what happens.
Quote from: Malachite on March 01, 2014, 07:50:16 PMMy sister texted the lady that was one of the leaders in the hospital cafeteria to see if perhaps I could get a job there and the lady said she would talk to her supervisor Monday. We will see what happens.
Slowly but surely, you are getting somewhere :)
Quote from: Willow on March 01, 2014, 08:10:22 PM
Slowly but surely, you are getting somewhere :)
Thanks. :) I'm trying to.
Why do I put myself through these mind screws I've already deemed too complex to accurately label?
But the answer remains, to me, dubious, so in the meantime my sexuality has been relabeled "queer-fluid with asexual and pansexual," perhaps with lithromantic undertones in regard to certain people.
And our next pondering - how do people relate sex to attraction? For me it's a tool (though the label doesn't match the feeling) - a tool for emotional intimacy and spiritual unions, unrelated to sexual attraction though at times used to sate sexual drives because nothing else will work. It's better for the first uses - they don't feel sexual in nature, despite by definition being so. Feels helluva lot more intimate when it's not just insert-peg-A-into-hole-B and proceed to orgasm - but instead for mutual intimacy and pleasure and trust, not even exclusive to a romantic relationship. Sex isn't necessary to feel content beside a partner over here - just a nice thing during certain circumstances. A tool.
*Shakes head* Not furthering that again, so I'm stopping myself before it happens. Also taking another long hiatus because every time I go on here, it's to escape from stupid life stuff and anything I post ends up rant-ish or ill-thought-out.
*Waves, ducks head* Everyone.
Quote from: Malachite on March 01, 2014, 07:50:16 PM
My sister texted the lady that was one of the leaders in the hospital cafeteria to see if perhaps I could get a job there and the lady said she would talk to her supervisor Monday. We will see what happens.
Good luck!!
Quote from: Jamie D on March 02, 2014, 02:06:37 AM
Good luck!!
Thanks! I really need a job so I can finally get started on my life.
My mom saw my bedroom and couldn't even find the words. Haha. She moves her finger around and goes "the rug.......needs to breathe." Like you could tell she was holding back a "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS HOW HARD IS THIS HOW CAN YOU LIVE THIS WAY."
Quote from: birkin on March 02, 2014, 02:00:16 PM
My mom saw my bedroom and couldn't even find the words. Haha. She moves her finger around and goes "the rug.......needs to breathe." Like you could tell she was holding back a "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS HOW HARD IS THIS HOW CAN YOU LIVE THIS WAY."
If she comes in wearing a Haz-Mat suit, you know you're in trouble, lol.
Haha, you'd almost think. All I can think of is the book about the Berenstein Bears having a messy room, and Mama Bear finally has had enough so she comes in with a big garbage bag and starts throwing all their toys and clothes into it. Brother and Sister are of course in tears and Papa tells Mama to calm down. So they get the kids some fancy boxing and shelving units so they can organize their toys better.
All the boxes in the world wouldn't help me because I just don't have the habit of putting things in their proper place.
I woke up at 2:30 p.m. after not sleeping at all last night and falling asleep at 7:00 a.m. I'm thinking I need to get up and eat something.
Quote from: birkin on March 02, 2014, 02:05:21 PM
Haha, you'd almost think. All I can think of is the book about the Berenstein Bears having a messy room, and Mama Bear finally has had enough so she comes in with a big garbage bag and starts throwing all their toys and clothes into it. Brother and Sister are of course in tears and Papa tells Mama to calm down. So they get the kids some fancy boxing and shelving units so they can organize their toys better.
All the boxes in the world wouldn't help me because I just don't have the habit of putting things in their proper place.
Hmm... in that case, you just need three large crates marked "stuff". Then you're golden. ;D
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 02:10:54 PMI woke up at 2:30 p.m. after not sleeping at all last night and falling asleep at 7:00 a.m. I'm thinking I need to get up and eat something.
Sounds like me, started drifting my sleep back and back into the afternoon, but last night forced myself to stay up and bond over a glass of wine and a movie (that we were only partially paying attention to) with my new floormates until around 1.
Quote from: Sephirah on March 02, 2014, 02:12:26 PM
Hmm... in that case, you just need three large crates marked "stuff". Then you're golden. ;D
Actually, I do plan to make a lot of boxes for "storage." I try to only keep things I use on a daily basis, but there's a few things that I think would be a bad idea to get rid of right now...so I'll put that stuff in boxes for now and that should help keep the mess more manageable. Maybe if I never open the boxes I will just give them away. But yeah, it will keep the bulk of the mess under control.
The cafeteria has weird hours for spring break, it closes in just over an hour and just reopened for dinner. It's too early for dinner, but I have to eat. I feel nasty so I want to shower. I'm going to have another dysphoric episode after though like always. And if I shave my legs (which I really want to) it'll hurt to wear pants for another 12 hours afterwards.
It's utterly impossible for me to even describe to my cis roommates how lucky they are that they can just walk out the door, nothing special, no makeup, hair all messy, whatever, and be perceived as female, while I have to put an awful lot of work into it to even have a chance of being perceived as female at all. I really don't care if I was the ugliest cis woman alive, I'd still be a cis woman, people would still call me miss, not sir, and honestly I wouldn't have to give two ->-bleeped-<-s about anything like I have to now.
Can I write 25 pages before noon tomorrow? That is the question.
Again thinking too much. Mostly about sex. Who needs it? Evidently, it's needed in a healthy relationship. I was told that and didn't believe it because I am different, I just want someone to complement and love me, maybe buy me flowers, I don't expect much. But then, last spring break happened. Everything I knew about relationships was utterly wrong. So damn naïve. I've never experienced one because I never knew how to go about it, being trans and all. Now is where today's thinking begins. It's expected that I provide my partner with sexual contact, at least with 99% of the population. The main reason I want SRS is so my clothes fit properly, that I can go swimming in a swimsuit of my gender without being embarrassed by an unsightly bulge. It just feels like I want to undergo an expensive procedure for "nothing," since I'd not really have a plan to actually use the new equipment. Should I look into just having it lopped off and no vaginoplasty done? Would that be cheaper? Would that be what I want? Would it suffice for a potential partner? Would anyone love me if I chose to do that?
Quote from: birkin on March 02, 2014, 05:32:01 PM
Can I write 25 pages before noon tomorrow? That is the question.
Easy. Now making them all decent...
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on March 02, 2014, 06:13:32 PM
Easy. Now making them all decent...
Haha, yes, that's the real question. That being said though, I have to be so deliberate with my words since it's theory, so that slows me down considerably and helps with quality control somewhat...
I learned today that my first high school girlfriend* recently came out as a lesbian and hooked up with a transwoman.
Small world coincidence or not? :-\
I think I'm an Anglophile.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 06:44:06 PM
I think I'm an Anglophile.
Me too!
I love working class British culture.
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on March 02, 2014, 06:46:14 PM
Me too!
I love working class British culture.
It's strange; I never cared for Britain before dating my ex-girlfriend online who is English. Now, I'm obsessed with the culture and I don't think I can date anyone but someone from the U.K. :P
Quote from: Willow on March 02, 2014, 06:50:30 PM
Soy una hispanophilla.
Hispanics are alright but nothing beats a handsome/beautiful Brit! Dat accent.. *drools all over phone*
Oh look, I even got +1 reputation for admitting I'm an Anglophile. ;)
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 06:54:26 PM
Hispanics are alright but nothing beats a handsome/beautiful Brit! Dat accent.. *drools all over phone*
Haha, I promise you, if you heard my accent, you'd be cleaning vomit off of your handset. :P ;D
Quote from: Sephirah on March 02, 2014, 06:57:30 PM
Haha, I promise you, if you heard my accent, you'd be cleaning vomit off of your handset. :P ;D
Do you have a regional English accent?
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 06:56:40 PM
Oh look, I even got +1 reputation for admitting I'm an Anglophile. ;)
Sephirah's so generous :)
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 06:59:03 PM
Do you have a regional English accent?
Yup. Well, yes and no. My original accent is very Yorkshire, but my time in the Navy led me to be able to do RP rather well.
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on March 02, 2014, 07:01:46 PM
Sephirah's so generous :)
You gave me my first rep. point for pronouncing your name right. ;D
While working on the current fanfic, I came upon an unexpected twist: Bingo Beaver developing a crush on Erica Porcupine, the transgirl that I created awhile back. This could be an interesting way to go. I will see where it leads from here.
Quote from: Sephirah on March 02, 2014, 07:02:34 PM
Yup. Well, yes and no. My original accent is very Yorkshire, but my time in the Navy led me to be able to do RP rather well.
Cool. I think any British accent is attractive and just nice to listen to. :)
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 06:54:26 PMHispanics are alright but nothing beats a handsome/beautiful Brit! Dat accent.. *drools all over phone*
Was referring more to Spain proper...
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on March 02, 2014, 07:04:19 PM
While working on the current fanfic, I came upon an unexpected twist: Bingo Beaver developing a crush on Erica Porcupine, the transgirl that I created awhile back. This could be an interesting way to go. I will see where it leads from here.
Who will Calder Cougar have a crush on? ???
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 07:05:25 PM
Who will Calder Cougar have a crush on? ???
I have no idea. Besides, that character exists in the other "universe". Aside from a few similar names (but for radically different characters) there is no crossover between the fanfics and the original series.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on March 02, 2014, 07:07:05 PM
I have no idea. Besides, that character exists in the other "universe". Aside from a few similar names (but for radically different characters) there is no crossover between the fanfics and the original series.
I see. Well, when your fanfic is done, I'd like to read it! :)
Quote from: Willow on March 02, 2014, 07:04:41 PM
Was referring more to Spain proper...
I see, I see. I don't know much about Spain.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 07:09:15 PM
I see. Well, when your fanfic is done, I'd like to read it! :)
It's another birthday story. This one revolves around Kathy (and is the final one with this storyline in the fanfics since I wrote ones for Erica and Laura).
Does this apply to all British accents Mr Hockey?
Quote from: Falconer on March 02, 2014, 07:37:05 PM
Does this apply to all British accents Mr Hockey?
Yes, all. English, Welsh, Northern Irish etc. :)
Thinking I'll see a post soon about how Jared Leto didn't give a shout out to trans people in his acceptance speech...
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 07:45:26 PMYes, all. English, Welsh, Northern Irish etc. :)
What about all the others? Like Cockney, Scouse, or, heaven forbid, Chav?
Quote from: FilaFord on March 02, 2014, 07:47:31 PM
Thinking I'll see a post soon about how Jared Leto didn't give a shout out to trans people in his acceptance speech...
I've never heard of him.
Quote from: Willow on March 02, 2014, 07:54:38 PM
What about all the others? Like Cockney, Scouse, or, heaven forbid, Chav?
Chav isn't an accent, it's a stereotype and a pejorative term used to refer to certain adolescent or young adult people who behave and present themselves in a certain way. :)
hehe, I like the way you mentioned every part of the UK apart from Scotland :P
Quote from: Sephirah on March 02, 2014, 07:59:46 PMChav isn't an accent, it's a stereotype used to refer to certain adolescent or young adult people who behave and present themselves in a certain way. :)
Always thought it had its own dialect/accent attached to it, kinda like the "gangsta" here across the pond.
Quote from: Willow on March 02, 2014, 08:00:48 PM
Always thought it had its own dialect/accent attached to it, kinda like the "gangsta" here across the pond.
Not really. It can incorporate accents, from the groups of people who are labelled as such, but it doesn't have its own. People from all over the country, with all kinds of accents have been labelled as Chavs.
This is the dictionary definition:
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/chav
I'm not overly fond of the term myself. Although I do know people who use it as a badge of honour.
It's a really horrible thing to be working on a thesis that discusses the change in the economic climate and how many people are struggling just to get by - at the same time as nearly having a heart attack over the question of how I will afford my surgery. NOT encouraging. -_-
Quote from: birkin on March 02, 2014, 08:54:12 PM
It's a really horrible thing to be working on a thesis that discusses the change in the economic climate and how many people are struggling just to get by - at the same time as nearly having a heart attack over the question of how I will afford my surgery. NOT encouraging. -_-
Gosh that's pretty much on my mind every day.
If you want to see chavs, go to a big game of..... something in Wales. By the border. I have never seen anyone carry that many beers in one hand before, that was actually impressing haha.
I'm watching Glee. Lord knows why. Most of the characters makes me cringe so bad. But some of the music is quite good.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 02, 2014, 09:08:46 PM
I'm watching Glee. Lord knows why. Most of the characters makes me cringe so bad. But some of the music is quite good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STDvZNTjqXc
I would rather listen to this....oh wait...I am! :D
It cracks me up that I can sit around and listen to Death Metal stuff with the most grotesque lyrical themes and yet, I can listen to a bit of music like this and get teary-eyed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyAaKXiaZgk&feature=share
That's a fantastic episode too.
Quote from: Malachite on March 02, 2014, 08:58:48 PM
Gosh that's pretty much on my mind every day.
It's a pretty bad feeling. Especially since I know that you, like I have, have an education...it used to be you never had to worry with education. Not so anymore.
Quote from: birkin on March 03, 2014, 12:48:49 AM
It's a pretty bad feeling. Especially since I know that you, like I have, have an education...it used to be you never had to worry with education. Not so anymore.
And that's the thing- I have a feeling that I'm may have to go back to school to get my Bachelors in the future. In my particular area it seems like the Associate's Degree is the "new" high school diploma. Arrrrh more money I'll have to spend!
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 06:54:26 PM
Hispanics are alright but nothing beats a handsome/beautiful Brit! Dat accent.. *drools all over phone*
Mr Hockey, honey, there is
nothing to compare to a hot chicana!
iY soy una chicana caliente!
Life never stops amazing me in some ways.
So I was in the #transexuales IRC channel (as every other day), and I get talked by another trans woman from my area (first time it happens). We start talking, because there is a good chance we may have crossed paths at the UIG (the clinic), try to guess who we could possible be... In the end I show a photo and... "Yeah, you were there at the endo consultation, you were beautiful".
The I recognized her. Still pre-HRT (tested the same day as me), but we have been crossing for months, since she tends to go after me to the fridays shrink consultation, but... Basically it's the first time I get to meet with another trans person from my area, and we may meet for a coffee, but it's good if we can be friends that know what it feels to go through all of this craptrip.
Regarding the being regarded as good looking, it's something fairly relative. She may be in the receiving end of the stick regarding genetics (wide torso, although it could be fat since while I get weigh losing depression, she gets the complete opposite), but it is something that people gauge comparing to themselves. In my own scale, I see myself as hideous no matter what people tell, and when others far more advance and with awesomely visible results tell me that they can see no change. And I was like "Heck, what change do you want? You have a B cup, perfecto nose, nearly no brow bossing, a small chin... You look female born, not like me"
I guess we will never be happy. Speaking of which, I'm pondering wheter to wait the whole 12 months HRT before sending my picks to Chett. On the FFS evaluation I was told that my eyebrows were in an OK position, and that I'd get better and less invasive results with hair transplants instead of scalp advancement. That could mean a considerable smaller inversion on FFS, but I'm still sticking with SRS first.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F7Dwl7up.jpg&hash=d689a5f36e00b70f081088b3674f846519a0007b)
Toothaches are nasty. Just pull it already! Oh yeah, lost my insurance. got some pain pills left for now.
Is it permissible to be bigoted against bigotry?
using this definition.
big·ot·ry, noun
1. bigoted attitudes; intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.
So is it okay to be intolerant of intolerance?
If so then how can we justify it?
Quote from: Falconer on March 03, 2014, 09:11:19 AM
Is it permissible to be bigoted against bigotry?
using this definition.
big·ot·ry, noun
1. bigoted attitudes; intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.
So is it okay to be intolerant of intolerance?
If so then how can we justify it?
Depends on how it's used. I discriminate all the time about how I dress, what I eat and who I hang out with, there's nothing wrong with that kind of discrimination. So should I not be intolerant of someone bullying on another?
Quote from: Falconer on March 03, 2014, 09:11:19 AM
Is it permissible to be bigoted against bigotry?
using this definition.
big·ot·ry, noun
1. bigoted attitudes; intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.
So is it okay to be intolerant of intolerance?
If so then how can we justify it?
Personally, I have no intention of pretending to be the good guy, so I have no problem with it regardless.
The fact is though that, even if nicer people try to be tolerant of bigots, they are really just giving more leeway to the bigots. There are some times when you need to put your foot down.
Quote from: LordKAT on March 03, 2014, 04:22:20 AM
Toothaches are nasty. Just pull it already! Oh yeah, lost my insurance. got some pain pills left for now.
I've been lucky enough not to have any dental issues yet. I do have insurance but...oops...it doesn't cover dental (or eye) stuff so I'm screwed in that regard.
I am so so glad I live in a country with free healthcare.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 03, 2014, 02:59:57 PMI am so so glad I live in a country with free healthcare.
I envy Canadians, Europeans, and pretty much everyone from every civilized country in the world.
Quote from: Willow on March 03, 2014, 03:31:30 PM
I envy Canadians, Europeans, and pretty much everyone from every civilized country in the world.
Yeah. I like a lot of things about the US but the healthcare system is not one of them.
I got a big apartment, you're more than welcome to move here!! :D
Quote from: birkin on March 03, 2014, 03:33:19 PM
Yeah. I like a lot of things about the US but the healthcare system is not one of them.
You mean you don't like the insurance scam system that we have!?
In the UK we look at the US health care system and think "If they're paying thousands of dollars a year for insurance wouldn't that cost them more than an increase in taxes?"
I don't actually know what the tax brackets are like over there, but here everyone is covered for necessary medical procedures (not most plastic surgery) regardless of income.
here income tax is
20% on income below £32K ($53K) a year
and 40% on any further income between £32K ($53K) and £150K ($250K)
Quote from: Falconer on March 03, 2014, 06:47:14 PM
In the UK we look at the US health care system and think "If they're paying thousands of dollars a year for insurance wouldn't that cost them more than an increase in taxes?"
But socializing health care in the US would take profits away from starving insurance companies... :'(
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on March 03, 2014, 07:00:29 PM
But socializing health care in the US would take profits away from starving insurance companies... :'(
Yeah, the poor schmucks would have to get by on a measly two billion dollars a year.
Breaks your heart, doesn't it? ::)
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 03, 2014, 03:39:05 PMI got a big apartment, you're more than welcome to move here!! :D
I can't afford the flight to Ireland and HRT too :(
Quote from: Falconer on March 03, 2014, 06:47:14 PM
In the UK we look at the US health care system and think "If they're paying thousands of dollars a year for insurance wouldn't that cost them more than an increase in taxes?"
I don't actually know what the tax brackets are like over there, but here everyone is covered for necessary medical procedures (not most plastic surgery) regardless of income.
here income tax is
20% on income below £32K ($53K) a year
and 40% on any further income between £32K ($53K) and £150K ($250K)
I know 40-60k or so is 25%, but after that is not much increase.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 02, 2014, 07:05:25 PM
Who will Calder Cougar have a crush on? ???
I have an idea...at this point, that's all it is. But it's flip-flopped. Erica Porcupine will be the one with the crush.
Thinking too much again, even when I should be having fun with my new friends.
I am scared about my consult tomorrow. Like, terrified, nauseated...I'm scared he's going to say I need another appointment with the gender clinic. That means another 9-10 month wait, JUST for the letter, and then the surgeon's waiting list...
I've been at the gender clinic for three years. On two occasions now, they effed up my top surgery referrals and now, having my surgery funded by the government is not an option as there are literally no doctors left (at least, that's what they told me). I don't want to have a longer wait or to have them screw up a third time somehow.
I actually might be sick. -_- I doubt I will sleep tonight. If there is a God I hope he will at least let this part of my transition be an easy path.
Quote from: Willow on March 03, 2014, 07:40:41 PM
I can't afford the flight to Ireland and HRT too :(
Ireland? Nonono, you got it all wrong! :D Besides most of the treatment is free here. At least the hormones are, along with the paperwork. I thiiink you need to pay like $50 for surgery and that's it, lol.
Quote from: Willow on March 03, 2014, 03:31:30 PM
I envy Canadians, Europeans, and pretty much everyone from every civilized country in the world.
Wanna talk about yesterday? As usual, Spain is not on the list.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.irtve.es%2Fimagenes%2Fdestrozan-escaparates-tiendas-bancos-bilbao-queman-contenedores%2F1393853397330.jpg&hash=9b6329da7cdae43dc1a662c5af8f963274a81a33)
I must be the only person that uses waste containers, and yesterday, as usual, they had to burn them. I don't care if they attack a luxury hotel or whatever, but damaging city communal property really pisses me of.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 04, 2014, 01:02:33 AMIreland? Nonono, you got it all wrong! :D Besides most of the treatment is free here. At least the hormones are, along with the paperwork. I thiiink you need to pay like $50 for surgery and that's it, lol.
Sorry, thought you were Irish.
Well I can barely afford that. I'm scraping by om what little I have right now, it has to last me the next two months. And then I have to find out what's going to happen this summer.
Quote from: AppleJack on March 04, 2014, 03:54:57 AMWanna talk about yesterday? As usual, Spain is not on the list.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.irtve.es%2Fimagenes%2Fdestrozan-escaparates-tiendas-bancos-bilbao-queman-contenedores%2F1393853397330.jpg&hash=9b6329da7cdae43dc1a662c5af8f963274a81a33)
I must be the only person that uses waste containers, and yesterday, as usual, they had to burn them. I don't care if they attack a luxury hotel or whatever, but damaging city communal property really pisses me of.
What specifically about yesterday?
Right now it's like my insurance; covers everything except trans stuff. Under Zapater I tjink that would have changed, no chance with Rajoy.
Basque seperatists, seperatists in general tend not to have many brains when it comes to their terrorist actions.
Not saying I condone them at all, they could just be more thought out.
Quote from: Willow on March 04, 2014, 08:17:09 AM
Basque seperatists, seperatists in general tend not to have many brains when it comes to their terrorist actions.
Not saying I condone them at all, they could just be more thought out.
Not them this time. Troika visit, the king... A combination of the most hated individuales from the european community and Spain. Along with the protests the usual morons started breaking stuff, burning cars... And armed people on top of the Guggenheim. Add to that the fact that one week ago a woman was beaten because they though she was transsexual (she just happened to be tall, strong and with brow bossing), and we don't classify as civilization anymore.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bhy27y7IIAAVUcf.jpg)
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhyzJtQIQAA68H9.jpg)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FtO9Oddz.png&hash=648c97d0b1fdbdd4422e69c8c140a2da35bcf163)
BTW, I'm done with drinking again. After two months drinking a beer bottle per week and last friday getting a bit too much heavy alcohol (one drink), I'm back to a clean stage. This seems to be a pattern with me. I get bored with alcohol, I quit, 6 months later I get a beer, I drink one weekly and two months later I stop again...
So how long do I have to be on HRT before my s*** starts to smell like roses?
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 04, 2014, 04:29:26 PM
So how long do I have to be on HRT before my s*** starts to smell like roses?
I think you need to actually eat roses for that to happen.
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 04, 2014, 04:29:26 PM
So how long do I have to be on HRT before my s*** starts to smell like roses?
I suspect you'd have to take the other E to think that. :P
The statue of David is inspiring to me.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 04, 2014, 07:54:39 PM
The statue of David is inspiring to me.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fcb%2Ff7%2F4b%2Fcbf74bde68a221acf6612634faf19133.jpg&hash=934b2ac1054b72bba4f9d57d482a2b6ba7be0a93)
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on March 04, 2014, 08:10:29 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fcb%2Ff7%2F4b%2Fcbf74bde68a221acf6612634faf19133.jpg&hash=934b2ac1054b72bba4f9d57d482a2b6ba7be0a93)
My goal is to look like that post-op.
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 04, 2014, 08:15:45 PM
My goal is to look like that post-op.
presumably not carved out of butter, tho. :laugh:
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on March 04, 2014, 08:21:21 PM
presumably not carved out of butter, tho. :laugh:
That would be a very bad surgeon, wouldn't it?
All in all it has been a happy day, but I got called "miss" at the 7 Eleven. I honestly have no idea why. Nearly two years on T...I am a bit behind other guys in terms of changes, but I really believe I don't look female anymore. I mean, I went to Las Vegas and literally never had a single issue with anyone questioning my maleness. I was treated just like my father, or like any other man that walked in the door. So what the hell? *sigh*
Keaira and I watched Frozen tonight, and it made me sad how much I could relate to Elsa. How she kept isolating herself because of her power to make ice and snow. I've spent the past 3 years locking myself in the basement whenever possible because I don't feel comfortable interacting with others, on the off chance they see my chest, or in the case of a gf, the genitals I have. Or if someone wants to tell them about my past because they have a big gossip mouth. The only difference between myself and Elsa is that Elsa, in the end, accepted her powers and made them a part of her life. But for me...well, if I could accept being born the way I was, and live that outwardly (that includes as "out"), I'd have stayed female and saved myself all this hassle.
I need to get back to working on my voice again
I want takeaway for dinner. Sooo bad lol.
Reading about this man who donated his penis to an Icelandic collector. They failed to conserve it properly. Whooops.
Since Jamie is letting people use his old blog for their blogs, I'm thinkinh about taking up the offer. Who thinks I should start one? ???
Quote from: Mr Hockey on March 05, 2014, 04:25:40 PM
Since Jamie is letting people use his old blog for their blogs, I'm thinkinh about taking up the offer. Who thinks I should start one? ???
I'd go for it. I like my blog, it's kind of nice to have when I want to post something but don't know which board it's really suitable for...or if it's like really personal, it's easier to have in a blog, just makes more sense to me.
Quote from: birkin on March 05, 2014, 04:32:34 PM
I'd go for it. I like my blog, it's kind of nice to have when I want to post something but don't know which board it's really suitable for...or if it's like really personal, it's easier to have in a blog, just makes more sense to me.
Hmm yeah, makes sense. Maybe I will. ::)
Been listening to nothing but Noise for the last few hours.
WHAT?!!!
I can't hear a thing!
Why is it that people will come into the store and share so much personal stuff with me? I hear about their troubles, their drama and some of them will continually update me on their lives with no prompting from me. I don't share what they say with other people, so maybe that has a bit to do with it? Who knows, but I sometimes feel like one of those old timey bartenders that people use as sounding boards, counselors or some kind of confessional priest, lol.
I couldn't do it myself though. My business is my business and I rarely share much with even family.
Quote from: JaimeD on March 05, 2014, 05:26:05 PM
Why is it that people will come into the store and share so much personal stuff with me? I hear about their troubles, their drama and some of them will continually update me on their lives with no prompting from me. I don't share what they say with other people, so maybe that has a bit to do with it? Who knows, but I sometimes feel like one of those old timey bartenders that people use as sounding boards, counselors or some kind of confessional priest, lol.
I couldn't do it myself though. My business is my business and I rarely share much with even family.
Sometimes people just don't see retail employees as real people. This can lead to people telling you their life story and can also lead to people treating you like garbage because as soon as you put on a name tag and a uniform you lose all identity as a fellow human being.
I'm still too young to wear stuff that's "age appropriate".
The whole new healthcare thing is weird. Was searching for stuff about trans care to see if it'd be worth it to go with that over what I curently have. Checking the ACA plans, it says that at my age and incomr I should be elligible for medicaid, but when I check the medicaid planner, it says not avalible, check the ACA plans.
Quote from: JaimeD on March 05, 2014, 05:26:05 PM
Why is it that people will come into the store and share so much personal stuff with me? I hear about their troubles, their drama and some of them will continually update me on their lives with no prompting from me. I don't share what they say with other people, so maybe that has a bit to do with it? Who knows, but I sometimes feel like one of those old timey bartenders that people use as sounding boards, counselors or some kind of confessional priest, lol.
I couldn't do it myself though. My business is my business and I rarely share much with even family.
It's because they know and like you and feel confident that you aren't going to blather their personal stuff all over. I have been in a retail setting at a lumber and hardware company once and always took a lot of time with women who were taking on a traditionally male type of project, and developed a lot of long term friendships and got plenty of appreciative hugs for taking the extra time with them to help them complete their projects successfully.
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 05, 2014, 05:35:56 PM
Sometimes people just don't see retail employees as real people. This can lead to people telling you their life story and can also lead to people treating you like garbage because as soon as you put on a name tag and a uniform you lose all identity as a fellow human being.
we don't do names tags and uniforms where I work. And no one treats me like garbage just because I work there, locals or tourists. But then its a tight community where most everyone knows everyone else and many of my customers knows where I live, knew my dad and that I'm trans. Most of our customers are very regular since we are the only place to get gas most of the time in our end of the county along with their cigs, beer, snacks or to get some grocery item they need so they don't have to drive all the way to town for it. So yeah, I know most of them and I'm sure they view me as quite real.
I've not worked retail in larger cities or anything, so I'm sure clerks' experiences in those places could be quite different.
I'm thinking that I should get my little buisness running again. Today I sold almost the rest of my beverages that are two years old! It's my fault because selling them just fell off my radar. I may make like $5 profit after I break even, but that's better than making nothing, especially while I'm in the process of finding a job. However, that may not work because now my mother goes with this girl who takes her children with her so I may not be able to fit, especially with the groceries afterwards, and with the way her children be coughing and sneezing it may not be worth it for my sanity. Oh well. I'll figure something out maybe.
I want to talk about my weird stuff again. Oh well.
I'm already thinking about Halloween costumes. I wish I could a costume whenever I want.
I am trying to decide how much weight I should lose for surgery. it's especially important in my case, given that since it'll be done through a lipo type method I will have loose skin that will need to heal up.
Less weight = less loose skin, better healing of what loose skin does show up
Less weight could also mean much smaller breasts in the meantime, given that he said the vast majority of my breasts are fat, with very little actual breast tissue.
but in researching lipo, it does appear that whatever weight you are when you have it, you have to maintain it - the more you go above that weight you had at surgery, the more chance fat will redeposit in the area you had it removed from (seems it has to be significant, but still).
So yeah in essence I have to decide what weight I could realistically maintain over the course of my life.
Quote from: Willow on March 05, 2014, 05:45:09 PM
The whole new healthcare thing is weird. Was searching for stuff about trans care to see if it'd be worth it to go with that over what I currently have. Checking the ACA plans, it says that at my age and income I should be eligible for medicaid, but when I check the medicaid planner, it says not available, check the ACA plans.
Elections have consequences.
Quote from: JaimeD on March 05, 2014, 05:26:05 PM
Why is it that people will come into the store and share so much personal stuff with me? I hear about their troubles, their drama and some of them will continually update me on their lives with no prompting from me. I don't share what they say with other people, so maybe that has a bit to do with it? Who knows, but I sometimes feel like one of those old timey bartenders that people use as sounding boards, counselors or some kind of confessional priest, lol.
I couldn't do it myself though. My business is my business and I rarely share much with even family.
When I worked at a 7-11 in high school, I would greet customers with, "How are you today?" Some of them actually thought I wanted to know! ::)
Quote from: Jamie D on March 06, 2014, 04:07:41 AMElections have consequences.
I'm sure if I actually went to enroll something would work out. All in all the ACA is a step not far enough IMO. Canada and Australia have similar tax rates to the US for the middle class and yet have universal healthcare.
Quote from: Willow on March 06, 2014, 10:53:55 AM
I'm sure if I actually went to enroll something would work out. All in all the ACA is a step not far enough IMO. Canada and Australia have similar tax rates to the US for the middle class and yet have universal healthcare.
But do they have a national debt like $17,500,000,000,000 and climbing? So at what point does the rest of the world decide that we are out of control teenagers and pull our credit card? Rolling Stone sang an appropriate song, "You don't always get what you want!"
Quote from: Shantel on March 06, 2014, 11:01:45 AMBut do they have a national debt like $17,500,000,000,000 and climbing? So at what point does the rest of the world decide that we are out of control teenagers and pull our credit card? Rolling Stone sang an appropriate song, "You don't always get what you want!"
I wish I could just noy have a citizenship, so I wouldn't have to deal with any of this. But I wouldn't be able to get a passport so I could travel in that case.
Quote from: Willow on March 06, 2014, 11:49:40 AM
I wish I could just noy have a citizenship, so I wouldn't have to deal with any of this. But I wouldn't be able to get a passport so I could travel in that case.
Yup, I know right? :icon_peace:
I'm thinking about how grateful I am for the life I've lived. Sure, it has it's downsides, but I learned so much from it and I really like who it helped shape me to be.
I'm thinking about a lot of things.
Quote from: Edge on March 06, 2014, 08:40:24 PM
Like what?
Just about my ex, school, transition and other stuff
Quote from: Willow on March 06, 2014, 10:53:55 AM
I'm sure if I actually went to enroll something would work out. All in all the ACA is a step not far enough IMO. Canada and Australia have similar tax rates to the US for the middle class and yet have universal healthcare.
Thousands of Canadians with severe back and neck pain face agonizingly long waits to see spine surgeons, only to learn they didn't need to go in the first place, creating mounting frustration and costing millions of dollars.
The reality is that back pain is common and that high-tech tests ordered by doctors often find abnormalities that have nothing to do with the symptoms - but lead to a referral to a spine surgeon. The wait can be up to a year or more, and then the surgeon frequently has nothing to offer except advice to exercise, get physiotherapy or use back supports....
"When I have the pain really bad, it's just unbearable," said Ms. Gamsby, of Guelph, Ont. "You shake, you can't think, you quiver all over and you take as many drugs as you are allowed to take to ease the pain."
She has waited two years in abject pain: one year to see the surgeon and another for an operation to repair spinal stenosis, a narrowing of the spinal column, plus spondylolisthesis, a condition where a bone in the lower part of the spine slips forward every time she walks. Once a champion curler and avid golfer, the 71-year-old is unable to walk for long, has difficulty standing and can't do household chores.http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/canadas-costly-spine-surgeon-backlog/article579917/
Universal health care is great, except when you need it and have to wait for years for treatment.
Quote from: Edge on March 05, 2014, 07:11:38 PM
I want to talk about my weird stuff again. Oh well.
I'm already thinking about Halloween costumes. I wish I could a costume whenever I want.
I was actually going to work on coming up with a Portia Porcupine costume, but other plans squashed that idea. Maybe next time.
One more week...
Hopefully.
My hair looks awesome. Just had it cut.
My mom asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told her no. She then asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said no. She said that I've been keeping it so cold in the house so she thinks that I've been going out instead of having the heat on. I don't turn it on as much to help cut down on her bill. Regardless, I'm glad that she adknowleged the possibility of me having a girlfriend. She may have been somewhat joking but I bet she would probably flip if I told her I had a girlfriend. My mom should know by now that I don't like men. It's quite obvious. I'm thinking that if she ask me seriously if I like women then I will say yes and that I'm transgender.
It would be nice to have a wife to give me a back massage right now though. The left side has been sore lately.
I'm thinking that political discussion should stay in the politics section. I'm getting very tired of the mobile soapbox. :-\
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on March 07, 2014, 07:51:03 PM
I'm thinking that political discussion should stay in the politics section. I'm getting very tired of the mobile soapbox. :-\
Blame obama for that.
I wish Duck was my son.
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 07, 2014, 08:03:01 PM
Blame obama for that.
Nah...I'm not for one side or the other, so I don't care about all of that crap. But if you want to blame anyone, you can just blame humans and call it a day.
Quote from: Calder Smith on March 07, 2014, 08:11:45 PM
I wish Duck was my son.
Who's Duck?
I'm thinking about a lot of stuff that I want to talk about, but the words escape me. Also, much of the stuff I want to talk about is me-centric and at least two topics would probably make whoever I'm talking to make false and annoying assumptions.
Quote from: Edge on March 07, 2014, 08:16:01 PM
Who's Duck?
I'm thinking about a lot of stuff that I want to talk about, but the words escape me. Also, much of the stuff I want to talk about is me-centric and at least two topics would probably make whoever I'm talking to make false and annoying assumptions.
He's a character from The Walking Dead game. He's just a funny, innocent 8-year-old that's dumb but enthusiastic.
Quote from: Edge on March 07, 2014, 08:16:01 PM
Who's Duck?
I'm thinking about a lot of stuff that I want to talk about, but the words escape me. Also, much of the stuff I want to talk about is me-centric and at least two topics would probably make whoever I'm talking to make false and annoying assumptions.
Yeah I probably would but we don't know that until you email me and let me know. Let's face it, at this point it's all about us and our own individual stuff, but having been through the hoops I am open to whatever your stuff is and can process it outside of my own ->-bleeped-<--heap. It's your call hon though I haven't seen the second episode of Vikings and have it TEVO'ed and will watch it tonight and we can discuss that as well if you want.
It took me forever to figure out who Calder was. Lol. I was like "why does that guy have the same avatar as Mr. Hockey?"
Quote from: birkin on March 07, 2014, 08:41:42 PM
It took me forever to figure out who Calder was. Lol. I was like "why does that guy have the same avatar as Mr. Hockey?"
:D I already knew who it was because I'm wicked underground, yo!
Ah, but now the knowledge is becoming mainstream. >:-)
"I knew the true identity of Calder before it was cool."
Quote from: birkin on March 07, 2014, 08:45:25 PM
Ah, but now the knowledge is becoming mainstream. >:-)
"I knew the true identity of Calder before it was cool."
I had the same issue when you changed your name here. I was like I must know who this is if they have over 3000 posts but couldn't figure it out until I saw a post in your blog by you.
Quote from: Calder Smith on March 07, 2014, 08:22:24 PM
He's a character from The Walking Dead game. He's just a funny, innocent 8-year-old that's dumb but enthusiastic.
Oh is he the kid in your avatar?
Quote from: birkin on March 07, 2014, 08:41:42 PM
It took me forever to figure out who Calder was. Lol. I was like "why does that guy have the same avatar as Mr. Hockey?"
lol I was the same the first time I noticed you had changed your name. Something about Ketchup I think it was. Or was that someone else?
Quote from: Shantel on March 07, 2014, 08:27:32 PM
Yeah I probably would but we don't know that until you email me and let me know. Let's face it, at this point it's all about us and our own individual stuff, but having been through the hoops I am open to whatever your stuff is and can process it outside of my own ->-bleeped-<--heap. It's your call hon though I haven't seen the second episode of Vikings and have it TEVO'ed and will watch it tonight and we can discuss that as well if you want.
I haven't seen it yet either, but will tomorrow.
That's a fine offer, but words are still a problem and other things.
Quote from: birkin on March 07, 2014, 08:41:42 PM
It took me forever to figure out who Calder was. Lol. I was like "why does that guy have the same avatar as Mr. Hockey?"
Insert Philosophy In-joke Here (http://www.class.uh.edu/phil/garson/NamingandNecessity.pdf)
Quote from: Caysee Danielle on March 07, 2014, 08:49:52 PM
I had the same issue when you changed your name here. I was like I must know who this is if they have over 3000 posts but couldn't figure it out until I saw a post in your blog by you.
Haha. Oh no, I've put other people through the same confusion.
Quote from: Edge on March 07, 2014, 08:50:15 PM
lol I was the same the first time I noticed you had changed your name. Something about Ketchup I think it was. Or was that someone else?
It was Ketchup Packet...I don't even know why I called myself that lol. I saw something in Spongebob where Patrick was in a dumpster and found a ketchup packet and said "hey! A ketchup packet! That'll go great with this old diaper!"
Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on March 07, 2014, 08:51:00 PM
Insert Philosophy In-joke Here (http://www.class.uh.edu/phil/garson/NamingandNecessity.pdf)
Well now you've captured my interest and tempted me to read an entire chapter. :P lol
What would the Cat in the Hat look like as a trans woman?
Quote from: birkin on March 07, 2014, 08:53:32 PM
Well now you've captured my interest and tempted me to read an entire chapter. :P lol
Pleased to be of service.
If you like Kripke, Ken Bach is really good fun. Laugh riot in places, actually. ;D
http://userwww.sfsu.edu/kbach/referring.pdf
Did Curious George secretly desire to be Curious Georgette? If so, why should anyone feel bothered by that?
Quote from: V M on March 07, 2014, 09:03:33 PM
What would the Cat in the Hat look like as a trans woman?
Not much different. Female cats don't look much different from male cats. Not the kind of cat the Cat in the Hat is anyway.
Quote from: V M on March 07, 2014, 09:15:22 PM
Did Curious George secretly desire to be Curious Georgette? If so, why should anyone feel bothered by that?
I wonder why would anyone feel bothered by that. Aside from the fact that if that were the case, it was never shown and I'd be a little peeved because it should have been.
As much as I like Harry Potter, I wonder why in a school of a few hundred people, only one character was ever revealed as gay or otherwise not straight, it was only mentioned in an interview and merely hinted at in the books, and was shown to be alone for most of his life.
It kind of bugs me that some fans of Black Butler think Grell is a flamboyantly gay man even though she was revealed to be a non-op transwoman.
I wish there were more trans characters whose entire character doesn't centre around being trans.
I'm just dealing with some stuff regarding political, sociological and religious constructs, bigoted neighbors and some other triggering stuff :P My dysphoria has been through the roof
No worries, I'll be okay
Quote from: V M on March 07, 2014, 10:33:05 PM
I'm just dealing with some stuff regarding political, sociological and religious constructs, bigoted neighbors and some other triggering stuff :P My dysphoria has been through the roof
No worries, I'll be okay
I have found the best medicine for that is the 17-minute version of
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida played
LOUD
Quote from: Jamie D on March 07, 2014, 10:58:32 PM
I have found the best medicine for that is the 17-minute version of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida played LOUD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlwtgaQZYDI
Quote from: birkin on March 07, 2014, 08:41:42 PM
It took me forever to figure out who Calder was. Lol. I was like "why does that guy have the same avatar as Mr. Hockey?"
Hehehehe. ;D
I'm so popular.
And yes Edge, he's the awesome kid in my avatar.
I. Ron Butterfly ;)
Me: *looks for motivation to at least clean my room*
*five minutes later*
*goes on Susan's* -_-
Quote from: birkin on March 08, 2014, 05:17:06 PM
Me: *looks for motivation to at least clean my room*
*five minutes later*
*goes on Susan's* -_-
You might find some loose change you can add to your surgery fund. ;)
I'm thinking that I can feel the effects of me exercising more and eating a bit better. Though I have been slacking off lately, I notice that I don't need to rest my back on a pillow as much when I'm on the laptop.
Quote from: Malachite on March 08, 2014, 05:53:53 PM
You might find some loose change you can add to your surgery fund. ;)
I'm thinking that I can feel the effects of me exercising more and eating a bit better. Though I have been slacking off lately, I notice that I don't need to rest my back on a pillow as much when I'm on the laptop.
Haha good point! Well, I cleaned half the room. I'm playing Resident Evil 5, since 6 got broken. Trying to beat it once and for all on Pro Mode! Not easy but on a few chapters I got an S Rank. ;D
RE 6 got broken? Nooooo! Ouch. :-\
Oh, I have hysto consultation next Thursday. o_O
Almost forgot.
Quote from: Tossu-sama on March 08, 2014, 07:07:17 PM
Oh, I have hysto consultation next Thursday. o_O
Almost forgot.
One giant step forward for Tossu-sama!
Quote from: Malachite on March 08, 2014, 06:58:18 PM
RE 6 got broken? Nooooo! Ouch. :-\
I know, it's a good thing I love my dog. -_- She tripped on the Xbox cord while I was playing, and the Xbox tipped, then I heard this horrible scraping noise and the laser bit had scraped a bit, circular dent all around the disc. Pretty much beyond repair. :(
Quote from: Shantel on March 08, 2014, 07:10:11 PM
One giant step forward for Tossu-sama!
Indeed it is, considering that surgery will be the last step in my transition with my current mind set. :B
Quote from: birkin on March 08, 2014, 08:42:28 PM
I know, it's a good thing I love my dog. -_- She tripped on the Xbox cord while I was playing, and the Xbox tipped, then I heard this horrible scraping noise and the laser bit had scraped a bit, circular dent all around the disc. Pretty much beyond repair. :(
THat is awful! I'm surprised th Xbox didn't go out. I remember when my cat broke my ps2, I probably threw her about 6 feet outside. I was pissed off and had to us all of my change to buy another one.
Malachite is playing GTA V on PSN and I'm wondering if I should buy it myself.
YO. There's a (trans) guy in Israel with the same last name as me! My last name is super duper rare, so...weird. And he has features like mine too...I'm not Jewish though, so, doubt we are related.
Daylight savings time is kind of a pain in the butt :P But I am glad that it will stay light out a little longer
Quote from: Calder Smith on March 09, 2014, 04:37:20 AM
Malachite is playing GTA V on PSN and I'm wondering if I should buy it myself.
For some reason I can't copy and paste, but I have a thread in my blog titled "GTA V Review" so you may find that helpful in aiding in your decision. :)
It seems like a lot of my life has been spent telling myself "it won't always be this way." Before I accepted liking women, or before I accepted I was trans..."oh, you just need to get older, then you'll love being a woman, AND you'll like guys too when you meet the right one, just wait and this will all be OK." When I came out as a lesbian "just get used to this and you'll like being female, you won't feel this way and it'll be great." Followed by three years of "soon you'll be able to move out and start hormones, just keep working at school."
Now it's "soon you won't see a woman's face in the mirror, soon you won't have boobs, one day you'll have a proper penis." When will I NOT be telling myself that it's going to get better? When will I actually look into the mirror and not see a girl looking back? I'm 2 years on T soon (well, for 9 months I was on an unstable dose and only had small changes...but still).
Quote from: birkin on March 09, 2014, 04:55:29 PMWhen will I NOT be telling myself that it's going to get better? When will I actually look into the mirror and not see a girl looking back?
I wonder that too.
You guys'll get there. But once you're there, it's kind of anticlimactic. For me anyway. And once the dysphoria is gone, you wonder if it was really so bad in the first place. At least I do. You know, like how a lot of cis people think they'd have no problem dealing with being the opposite sex. Except I know it wasn't like that. But yeah, sadly the most euphoric I've probably ever been was in the transition planning and dreaming stage. Now it's just kinda like, meh.
Quote from: FA on March 09, 2014, 05:24:46 PM
You guys'll get there. But once you're there, it's kind of anticlimactic. For me anyway. And once the dysphoria is gone, you wonder if it was really so bad in the first place. At least I do. You know, like how a lot of cis people think they'd have no problem dealing with being the opposite sex. Except I know it wasn't like that. But yeah, sadly the most euphoric I've probably ever been was in the transition planning and dreaming stage. Now it's just kinda like, meh.
That's actually pretty encouraging. I honestly just want to reach a point where my life is boring, at least in terms of gender stuff. At least, relatively so...like more emotionally stable and not constantly worrying about this thing that I'm working at.
I wonder if I'll ever find someone that wants to be with me.
I'm a hopeless romantic..
This month marks ten years on hrt and I haven't regretted it one iota.
Quote from: JaimeD on March 09, 2014, 05:53:34 PM
This month marks ten years on hrt and I haven't regretted it one iota.
For some reason I read that as "ten months" and I was like "omg, you look AMAZING for ten months!" Congrats, ten years is a huge milestone. ;D
Quote from: birkin on March 09, 2014, 06:14:30 PM
For some reason I read that as "ten months" and I was like "omg, you look AMAZING for ten months!" Congrats, ten years is a huge milestone. ;D
lol, here is one that was after ten months of hrt, it was taken at first event back in January of 05
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FJaimein05.jpg&hash=959d929a21e0b442d6763b0d9046324f12ef6a15)
Quote from: JaimeD on March 09, 2014, 06:22:05 PM
Quote from: birkin on March 09, 2014, 06:14:30 PM
For some reason I read that as "ten months" and I was like "omg, you look AMAZING for ten months!" Congrats, ten years is a huge milestone. ;D
lol, here is one that was after ten months of hrt, it was taken at first event back in January of 05
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FJaimein05.jpg&hash=959d929a21e0b442d6763b0d9046324f12ef6a15)
Gorgeous even then!
yeah, but I was only 41 then. And that pic was still way before I did anything with my facial hair other than shaving it. It was already going gray anyway, along with my hair. I still have that wig in a closet though, lol.
Guacamole is awesome.
4 days and just under 14 hours until my appointment.
It can't come spon enough.
Quote from: JaimeD on March 09, 2014, 06:22:05 PM
lol, here is one that was after ten months of hrt, it was taken at first event back in January of 05
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FJaimein05.jpg&hash=959d929a21e0b442d6763b0d9046324f12ef6a15)
...and you have the audacity to call yourself a big-head horsey-face marsh monster ::)
Quote from: FA on March 09, 2014, 06:30:46 PM
lol, here is one that was after ten months of hrt, it was taken at first event back in January of 05
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FJaimein05.jpg&hash=959d929a21e0b442d6763b0d9046324f12ef6a15)
Gorgeous even then!
I've got to agree!
Quote from: birkin on March 09, 2014, 07:52:15 PM
I've got to agree!
Me too, she's always been a total doll, very sweet and caring, which really complements her all the more as a truly beautiful person.
Quote from: Shantel on March 10, 2014, 09:38:21 AM
Me too, she's always been a total doll, very sweet and caring, which really complements her all the more as a truly beautiful person.
At the store, people call me mean, lol. But that's only cause I give them the same discount I get, nothing...
Quote from: JaimeD on March 10, 2014, 04:46:38 PM
At the store, people call me mean, lol. But that's only cause I give them the same discount I get, nothing...
Well I've been a long-time customer how dare you not give me special treatment don't you know I am more important than everyone else..... :eusa_boohoo:
Thinking, thinking, too much, my brain is never inactive anymore, always thinking, never slowing down, I'm not tired, can't sleep, mind racing though all the if-then scenarios for the future, and if this had happened then this would be better scenarios too. Frustrated, frustrated at my dying motivation, my lack of direction. Feeling down about my lack of progress from what I promised to do. Also about the lack of what I was promised. About how all three people I ever loved never saw it and since I knew they weren't interested I never bothered, now I have to let that third one go and just be friends. About how even stuffing a bra to make up for my nonexistant breasts still makes me feel inadequate about my chest, wondering if I ever will feel it's adequate.
Worst of all, wondering if I'll fall into some nasty self destructive habits that I really don't want to fall into, but seem almost destined to.
Most of all, even though most everyone is back on the floor, I still feel uninvolved and detached from everyone because of my not wanting to partake in certain activities on moral grounds, and not being able to relate since the guys are guys and I only know the basics of being a girl.
Quote from: JaimeD on March 10, 2014, 04:46:38 PM
At the store, people call me mean, lol. But that's only cause I give them the same discount I get, nothing...
I would always smile and ask them to come back. I guess I was a glutton for punishment. But damn, I sold a lot of Slurpees when I was in high school.
Quote from: Jamie D on March 11, 2014, 12:54:16 AM
I would always smile and ask them to come back. I guess I was a glutton for punishment. But damn, I sold a lot of Slurpees when I was in high school.
Only posers sell Slurpees. Ice cream cones are true kvlt!
I'm wondering why Gwynne keeps making up confusing names.
Quote from: Calder Smith on March 11, 2014, 01:03:28 AM
I'm wondering why Gwynne keeps making up confusing names.
Her newest one is pretty interesting.
Quote from: Calder Smith on March 11, 2014, 01:03:28 AMI'm wondering why Gwynne keeps making up confusing names.
Cause she feels like it. Gosh. :P
I still liked EstroGwynne.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAWciDfPLbY
I sure hate it when I have something valuable to say (or donate!) and the thread I'm posting in gets locked or deleted after I spend a long time writing.
Way to go, dummy. I may reconsider my significant gift now.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on March 11, 2014, 01:05:46 AM
Her newest one is pretty interesting.
She must be in a very Locrian mode!
Quote from: birkin on March 10, 2014, 05:44:41 PM
Well I've been a long-time customer how dare you not give me special treatment don't you know I am more important than everyone else..... :eusa_boohoo:
Oh, its all in good fun. I have a few people that just love to faux fuss at me when they come in. I usually give it right back, lol.
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 11, 2014, 01:45:58 AM
Cause she feels like it. Gosh. :P
I still liked EstroGwynne.
You too, Willow! ..I mean LAUREN.
Quote from: JaimeD on March 11, 2014, 03:04:20 AM
Oh, its all in good fun. I have a few people that just love to faux fuss at me when they come in. I usually give it right back, lol.
I used to run a lumber yard and insulted my regular customers all the time, they loved it and always came back for more. I'd say "Oh hi, it's tweedle Dee and tweedle Dum!" to a remodeling duo, to another, "I see they let you out on work release!" :D They always came back for more because they knew I liked them! >:-)
Had a terrible headache this morning and my sister called to say we were going to exercise earlier than planned becaus she wasn't going to have any tim later. At first I said no but then I changed my mind. I didn't do any of the floor exercises in fear it would mak my headache worse, but I still kept moving. I didn't do as good as a workout, but I'm proud that I pushed on anyways as opposed to just laying down. I am feeling a bit better now. The headache was caused by staring at the laptop too much so I'm going to try and limit my focus on th screen for the time being.
My mother is going to a small bargains shop later and I'm debating on going to buy some beverages to sell. While I'm looking for a job, it would be nice to make some extra mony on the side. I wouldn't be making much though because after I sell everything, I probably make like $5 profit, and typically it's not a quick sell, but still....$5 towards my top surgery fund is better than nothing. I am curious to see what they have this time though.
Quote from: Shantel on March 11, 2014, 09:49:07 AM
I used to run a lumber yard and insulted my regular customers all the time, they loved it and always came back for more. I'd say "Oh hi, it's tweedle Dee and tweedle Dum!" to a remodeling duo, to another, "I see they let you out on work release!" :D They always came back for more because they knew I liked them! >:-)
Yep. The sure sign that you like someone is when you screw around with them. :D I've always been like that with people and I even integrated that same trait into the Laura Squirrel & Kathy Cat characters from the fanfics. Kathy is especially good at it.
Lol I shaved my face exclusing my lovely pedo stache. Now I'm waiting my fiancée to notice that, she won't appreciate it one bit. xD
Quote from: Tossu-sama on March 11, 2014, 04:03:52 PM
Lol I shaved my face exclusing my lovely pedo stache. Now I'm waiting my fiancée to notice that, she won't appreciate it one bit. xD
I mentioned to my ex that I couldn't wait for my mustache to grow in more and she goes "....no." lol
ever since my visit to a clinic earlier this day (mental reasons) and a very exhausting talk, i have been stuttering.
Quote from: birkin on March 11, 2014, 04:07:34 PM
I mentioned to my ex that I couldn't wait for my mustache to grow in more and she goes "....no." lol
I want a goatee.
Quote from: Edge on March 11, 2014, 04:26:33 PM
I want a goatee.
Yeah, that's my new fixation. Lol. I have the chin part down...now I need a better mustache, and the connecting parts. I could do with a better mustache, I'd be happy just with that.
I have a date. With a guy. In two days. Not only is the first in two years, but the first with a man. I'm scared of discovering another part of myself and changing even more. It's true that I've been wishing for this, but... The last time I feel like this... shivering, scared, unable to know what to do and shouting "no no no no, it's an error, it's not possible, forget it and bury it" Was the time I realised I was trans.
Quote from: birkin on March 11, 2014, 05:29:20 PM
Yeah, that's my new fixation. Lol. I have the chin part down...now I need a better mustache, and the connecting parts. I could do with a better mustache, I'd be happy just with that.
I don't have any facial hair at all yet. I'd be ok with the chin part.
Good luck AppleJack.
I talked to D today. I've barely seen him in weeks. This is probably a good thing, but I did like to talk to him.
I may have an obsession with death. How... goth.... ew...
I just applied for a job as a security guard......something actually in my field that I studied lol. We will see what happens.
Good luck Malachite
Quote from: Edge on March 11, 2014, 05:55:07 PM
Good luck Malachite
Thank you. :) I really do need a job.
Quote from: Zóôt Threepwood on March 11, 2014, 04:18:53 PM
ever since my visit to a clinic earlier this day (mental reasons) and a very exhausting talk, i have been stuttering.
Any better now? I also get those "aftershocks", it's really bad. Had one for a whole day now because my GP thinks I don't need a new psychiatrist just because I'm within the autism spectrum and he says that having issues then is so common it would be pointless. Must. not. kill. the. man.
I don't understand how me being transgender (let's just call her A) affects A at all.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 11, 2014, 09:12:52 PM
Any better now? I also get those "aftershocks", it's really bad. Had one for a whole day now because my GP thinks I don't need a new psychiatrist just because I'm within the autism spectrum and he says that having issues then is so common it would be pointless. Must. not. kill. the. man.
better now. man they were mean. Asking me whether i really need their help with my depression. I came in there sure i was going to say yes to getting help from that clinic, but their mental terror discouraged me completely. I collapsed outside in the arms of my mother and my therapist, that's how bad i felt. I was crying "when will this nightmare end?", so YES of course i need help. Problem is i had a traumatic experience with that kind of clinic several years back and it was hard enough for me to get to a point that i would do it. I freaked out again once they wanted to know whether i want help 100% and even what my plans for my future are, whether i have any perspective. Of course my corrupt teachers robbed me of my perspective when they refused to give me permission to take my A-levels because of my Aspergers. They did the same thing with another disabled student, and that one wouldn't have any problem with the a-levels.
If you're disabled and living in germany, you'll get treated like a third-class citizen.
Guest lecturing in a university class today and tomorrow. I'm thinking I miss being on campus.
I wonder what happened to the Outer Senshi during the Crystal Tokyo era. I know Setsuna was still guarding time, but what about the others? That was one major plot hole in the anime. If I had to come up with an explanation, Haruka thought Crystal Tokyo was waaaaaay too boring for her fast and with Michiru being the oh so faithful lover that she is, she followed Haruka and Hotaru decided to come along too. I know Hotaru was Chibiusa's friend and all, but honestly, Chibiusa has a family and her parents are royalty. Plus she has the senshi to be around so she has a giant family already. Hotaru isn't my favorite, but she needs to be with the outers. Lets face it: Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama, Setsuna-mama, and Hotaru is a totally awesome family!
why do i not like my facial hair? it's barely there. then again, what do i like? That's the problem with my mental state. It kind of looks goofy. maybe i have issues with growing up too soon.
Thinking that mister Threepwood needs to move to another country. :p
Also, been really efficient today. And not even tired. Or perhaps I'm just really overtired.
It's almost 5am and I really should be sleeping because I have that hysto consultation later today, but try to get sleep with a f-ked up sleeping pattern.
That'll be one interesting appointment, though... It's in the gynaecology policlinic. @_@ The irony is heavy, seeing as I just had my gender marker changed and all that jazz so I'm male from legal point of view. :P
Less than 35 hours.
Getting close. At the same time my hopes are starting to wane...
My sister said that she taking me to get a bank account next week. I'm kind of iffy on that, but I know that I need one. I don't know anything about banking though and I don't want to be hit with a bunch of fees. At the very least, I need a CD for my top surgery fund.
Heck I need a job. I've been applying, but no luck so far.
My university lectures went really well. Big ovations and enthusiastic smiles. :D
Quote from: m7♭5 on March 13, 2014, 06:37:14 PM
My university lectures went really well. Big ovations and enthusiastic smiles. :D
How awesome is that?
Have you gone Locrian on us?
Quote from: Jill F on March 13, 2014, 06:46:45 PM
How awesome is that?
good feeling! :)
Quote from: Jill F on March 13, 2014, 06:46:45 PM
Have you gone Locrian on us?
I was planning to go with MA7#5, but didn't want to risk the interpretation I got a one-sided boob job. 8)
Quote from: Malachite on March 13, 2014, 06:31:16 PM
Heck I need a job. I've been applying, but no luck so far.
I feel you. I will be out of money in two weeks. :'( When I say out of money, I mean maxed out credit card too. All it took was 4 months w/o a job to obliterate my savings and my credit thanks to tuition.
Quote from: m7♭5 on March 13, 2014, 06:37:14 PM
My university lectures went really well. Big ovations and enthusiastic smiles. :D
Isn't that a great feeling? ;D
Ouch, what are you going to do, Caleb?
Quote from: Malachite on March 13, 2014, 11:50:12 PM
Ouch, what are you going to do, Caleb?
Cry? Haha. Also found out that someone I want in my committee is leaving the country so I have to defend in July and pay $700 in spring tuition. Yay -_-
That gives me time to apply for jobs like mad though. Hopefully I can get something within a month.
Quote from: birkin on March 13, 2014, 11:52:31 PM
Cry? Haha. Also found out that someone I want in my committee is leaving the country so I have to defend in July and pay $700 in spring tuition. Yay -_-
That gives me time to apply for jobs like mad though. Hopefully I can get something within a month.
I hope you do get something soon! With a brain like yours, people should be jumping all over the chance to hire you.
I hope I can be able to see a game when Manchester United goes on their summer tour in the U.S.
My sister called and told me she talked to the 2nd shift security guard at th hospital and he said that third shift is hiring. Two security guards had DUI charges and one left I think. He said that they needed more "female" security guards because they hardly have any (ugh). My sister gave the guard my name and number and he (or someone else) is going to take a look at my application. The guard she talked to said I should go back to school because there's no money in criminal justice lol. That's what almost everyone at the sheriff's office I interned at said to me but my sister said it's okay for someone starting out and she agreed. One thing about third shift though is that I have to get my license because they specifically drive around the hospital at night. She said that the security guard was very down to earth, abiet country though.
I asked my sister about the status of the cafeteria jobs there, to which she doesn't know because the lady she usually talk to about that wasn't there.
Wow, if I get a job as a security guard OR even in the cafeteria, it's going to be awkward when I get top surgery and eventually transition since my sister would have been the one who got me in. They will be looking at her like "what the heck?"
I can only take things one step at a time though and just focus on GETTING a job....and a license. I do wonder how I will be percieved after getting my top surgery, while still living as a female though.
Going out to eat tonight and I want to try the men's restroom for the first time.
Going to the barber tomorrow to get this damn mop into shape. I just predict that when I leave and get back from the barber (it's at 10am), my fiancée will be still sleeping and when she gets up, I sit on the computer and she'll be scared poopless because she won't recognise me right away. :D
Quote from: Malachite on March 14, 2014, 03:54:04 PM
I can only take things one step at a time though and just focus on GETTING a job....and a license. I do wonder how I will be percieved after getting my top surgery, while still living as a female though.
You don't have to keep the job forever. If you feel you want to leave it when you transition, you can always start applying elsewhere, you know?
Personally, since you're still living entirely (as far as I know) as female, maybe it's worth a shot. Unless you plan on coming out soon. I know there's a time where you just reach critical mass and can't be someone you're not anymore, and if that's in the stars soon, maybe don't apply as female.
I don't even know if what I just wrote there made sense. lol
I'm thinking about my appearance and gender and how they may affect and have affected how people treat/ed me.
Quote from: birkin on March 14, 2014, 04:34:46 PM
You don't have to keep the job forever. If you feel you want to leave it when you transition, you can always start applying elsewhere, you know?
Personally, since you're still living entirely (as far as I know) as female, maybe it's worth a shot. Unless you plan on coming out soon. I know there's a time where you just reach critical mass and can't be someone you're not anymore, and if that's in the stars soon, maybe don't apply as female.
I don't even know if what I just wrote there made sense. lol
Well I understood the first two sentences, but not the rest, but what you have said looks very interesting. Please elaborate!
I meant if you plan in coming out soon, don't apply for the job if they specifically want females. Because I imagine by the time you are out, you won't want to pretend to be a woman much longer. But if you plan in stating closeted for a bit, may as we'll take the job that wants females. Since you will be living that way everywhere else.
I'm thinking that I need to come out to more people, friends. I have several but just want 100% & who cares. Men??? several are interested but most are gay men & I only like hetrosexual stud men. I love being their woman & that's all I need but they always kind of go gay/nice on me, darn. I just only like studs that want a ->-bleeped-<- or will give me good hard anal sex. I've found some real men before but now it seems all I find are gay type men, ugggg.
So that's what I'm thinking.
I so want Italian food tonight.
TMI ALERT:
I have some farts and they smell just like milk when it crusts.
Quote from: birkin on March 14, 2014, 07:46:54 PM
TMI ALERT:
I have some farts and they smell just like milk when it crusts.
LOL
Cleaning a conventional oven is a real pain in the butt - Having a migraine along with nausea really messes with my ability to concentrate and multitask
I'm going to tune my pink Stratocaster to an open D major (DADF#AD) and do some fun Jimmy Page type stuff with a glass slide, as not to exacerbate my carpal tunnel issues.
I'm thinking I want to talk to someone about what I'm thinking, but I doubt anyone is willing to talk to me and actually respond. Usually the ones that do respond don't make any sense. Gorrammit.
I am thinking that people must be tired of me talking.
Didn't feel like going out to dinner after all so I stayed home and ordered out. I'm going to the mall tomorrow though and will try the men's restroom there.
My Cat Woman intuition, the mere mention of Italian food and an odd Shakespearean moment maketh me thinks I should go!!! Go into the kitchen and create a seafood and pasta delite!!!
Dinner doth cometh nigh!!!
I wish I got my haircut sooner. I have this paranoia about being misgendered when I visit with my grandma and we go out, I don't want her to get the damn satisfaction of believing people still see me as a woman. They usually don't. But she'll be like "omg yes you are still my girl see everyone can see that."
Quote from: birkin on March 14, 2014, 07:16:22 PM
I meant if you plan in coming out soon, don't apply for the job if they specifically want females. Because I imagine by the time you are out, you won't want to pretend to be a woman much longer. But if you plan in stating closeted for a bit, may as we'll take the job that wants females. Since you will be living that way everywhere else.
Ah that's what I had thought you meant. Yeah I will be living as a female for a while, even if I get on hormons. More than likely I'll be on the gel so I suppose I'll have some extra time to "prepare" for my transition....a.k.a. gather up some extra income in case I'm fired and out of work for a while
Quote from: birkin on March 14, 2014, 07:46:54 PM
TMI ALERT:
I have some farts and they smell just like milk when it crusts.
TMI is right, some people's kids! ;D
I am only how you raised me, Shan. ;)
I need a haircut so bad. I also need to clean my room and get rid of a ton of papers.
I'm thinking about how I feel like I'm making some real and solid friendship here already. It's a pleasant thought.
Quote from: birkin on March 15, 2014, 01:01:03 PM
I am only how you raised me, Shan. ;)
I need a haircut so bad. I also need to clean my room and get rid of a ton of papers.
Get that da*ned mass cleaned up or the belt comes out, how many times do I have to tell you? Gawd, I've given this child the best years of my life...... ;D How's that son?
So my dad and his girlfriend are busting up apparently. I'm not too sure how I feel about that.
I'm wondering if I should make a YouTube channel to make videos documenting my transition and if anybody would watch them.
I would. It's always encouraging to see how well others are doing on their journey
Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 15, 2014, 05:04:15 PM
I would. It's always encouraging to see how well others are doing on their journey
Thanks! I'll consider starting one. :)
I'm thinking I need to take a shower tonight because my whole body is itchy.
Quote from: Calder Smith on March 15, 2014, 04:59:56 PM
I'm wondering if I should make a YouTube channel to make videos documenting my transition and if anybody would watch them.
Those channels are invaluable for those just getting started. They're how I found the confidence to take the next step.
Quote from: m7♭5 on March 15, 2014, 06:53:25 PMThose channels are invaluable for those just getting started. They're how I found the confidence to take the next step.
They always just drove my dysphoria through the roof...
I'm thinking more electrolysis, such pain.
However just had to shave some to look nice & I cut my face. How embrassing to have facial hair.
Quote from: FrancisAnn on March 15, 2014, 08:15:28 PMI'm thinking more electrolysis, such pain.
However just had to shave some to look nice & I cut my face. How embrassing to have facial hair.
What's worse is you have to wait 3 days after shaving for electrolysis/laser. My facial hair grows so fast that it's noticeable after a day. It's really bad after two days. I haven't gone three days without shaving in several months, I don't even remember what it looks like 3 days after. Probably horrid.
Quote from: Shantel on March 15, 2014, 01:49:40 PM
Get that da*ned mass cleaned up or the belt comes out, how many times do I have to tell you? Gawd, I've given this child the best years of my life...... ;D How's that son?
CHILD ABUSE. CHILD ABUSE. I NEED AN ADULT.
Also...Watched a movie with Brad Pitt and I am jealous of his beard, and the way he is able to style his hair. The bastard. I can't do a thing with my hair (seriously). My mustache insists on being stubborn and I dislike it.
It's nice to see other guys who have bigger lips though.
I'm partially glad and partially upset that my friends didn't invite me out tonight.
My father told me that he hopes I find a husband, but there aren't many good men around. I think he's in denial. I came out to him as trans and even before that, he knew that I liked women.
Quote from: Malachite on March 16, 2014, 09:28:27 PMMy father told me that he hopes I find a husband, but there aren't many good men around. I think he's in denial. I came out to him as trans and even before that, he knew that I liked women.
Sounds kinda like what my roomate tells me her dad says the same thing. He knows that she always liked women, but tells her that she just hasn't met the right guy, but better do it quick before all the good ones are gone.
Wondering if I should make a blog post.
Apparently Laverne Cox is going to be speaking at a uni in Indiana...I'm pretty jealous that Keaira might be able to go. I love Laverne, she is so intelligent and such a great representation. I generally avoid trans stuff, especially public stuff, like the plague...but I'd make a very solid exception to see her.
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 16, 2014, 09:42:56 PM
Sounds kinda like what my roomate tells me her dad says the same thing. He knows that she always liked women, but tells her that she just hasn't met the right guy, but better do it quick before all the good ones are gone.
Ugh, how frustrating that would be!
Several things.
My trusty cargo shorts, which I have worn many times over the years, finally have a hole worn in the crotch (lol that sounds so wrong). Given how much wear I've gotten out of them, I really should throw them away.
I was too lazy to take a shower this morning. I usually shower once in the morning, and once at night (really have to at night lol).
I need a haircut but I feel a lot of anxiety not only about leaving the house but about being in the establishment itself.
Quote from: birkin on March 17, 2014, 05:02:06 PM
Several things.
My trusty cargo shorts, which I have worn many times over the years, finally have a hole worn in the crotch (lol that sounds so wrong). Given how much wear I've gotten out of them, I really should throw them away.
I was too lazy to take a shower this morning. I usually shower once in the morning, and once at night (really have to at night lol).
I need a haircut but I feel a lot of anxiety not only about leaving the house but about being in the establishment itself.
I feel ure pain with the shorts.. my favourite trainers got a hole in them a while ago and it saddened me deeply and then they full on started letting all the water in when it rained .. and it rains a lot in england... i consoled myself by blowing all my money on a new pair tho haha
as for haircuts i dont like the hairdressers either i have a real bad shoulder injury and some hairdresser id never been to before cracked my head to the side making me cry out in pain.. i nearly hit her lol... so now i go to a little place with two little old ladies i been going there for years and they always remember u and tell u any and all gossip they have lol
I am also thinking about how much i have eaten today and whether its karma that i feel slightly sick as a result haha
I let my old shoes wear down so much, lol. They had holes, worn out sole, etc. Flat as a board on the bottom. I was in Vegas and my dad got me new shoes, and I thought "oh I will just put the old ones in a box and wear them another time." As soon as I tried on the new shoes, I realized how much my old ones had been hurting and finally threw them away.
Quote from: birkin on March 17, 2014, 05:17:40 PM
I let my old shoes wear down so much, lol. They had holes, worn out sole, etc. Flat as a board on the bottom. I was in Vegas and my dad got me new shoes, and I thought "oh I will just put the old ones in a box and wear them another time." As soon as I tried on the new shoes, I realized how much my old ones had been hurting and finally threw them away.
saying that though... I love my new trainers that much and they did actually cost me a fortune and I had wanted them for ages and guess where they are after only having worn them twice?...yep.. back in the box... I dont want to wear them all the time and get them dirty or wrecked as it will make me sad hahaha.
when i am no longer a poor student or i next decide i need some retail therapy i will buy a spare pair haha.. i have a habit of doing that if i find something i like buy two.. but then ppl never realise you have two so looks like u are wearing the same thing all the time ... oh dear lol
I'm thinking about electrolysis and how I hate my facial hair so much for having to be there a few days before each treatment.
While I'm in the process of searching for a job, I'm going to have a little fun goal on the side to see if I can get to at last 2,000 for my top surgery fund, so I only have 18 grand to go (that's not just for top surgery as there are other costs I'm factoring in). If I don't meet the goal by the time I get a job then oh well (assuming that I'm able to get one soon-raising 2 grand in one year without having a job still won't seem like much of an acchomplishment to me). This means I need to raise $263.07 The fastest way to chip that down is by selling on Craigslist, but I don't have $263.07 worth of stuff I'm willing to sell, but probably about $120 worth if I'm lucky and "if" the stuff sells. I got to start selling beverages again, not to mention save the money my father gives me of the change I get from my sister from doing little things for her.
I believe in you Malachite!
Quote from: 930310 on March 17, 2014, 05:35:38 PM
I believe in you Malachite!
Thanks! :) You have more faith than me, lol.
I found a picture of a very androgynous looking Marvel Loki and wondering if I should use it as my avatar.
I'm also thinking about gender. What else is new on this forum. lol
Good luck, Malachite. Hopefully, you can get a job soon.
Quote from: Edge on March 17, 2014, 06:26:56 PM
I found a picture of a very androgynous looking Marvel Loki and wondering if I should use it as my avatar.
I'm also thinking about gender. What else is new on this forum. lol
Good luck, Malachite. Hopefully, you can get a job soon.
Thanks, Edge. :) I hope I can get a job soon too as it is FAR past due for me to get one.
Quote from: Malachite on March 17, 2014, 07:20:13 PM
Thanks, Edge. :) I hope I can get a job soon too as it is FAR past due for me to get one.
Indeed, but that's the current economy.
May I have some opinions? This avatar. Is it too girly?
That's actually kind of why I like it. Right now, I look really girly and if Loki can be portrayed as even girlier than I am and still be Loki, that makes me feel a little better about my own looks.
But on the other hand, it may give people the wrong idea. Then again, why should I care?
Sadly it is. -sigh-
Concerning your avatar, I don't think it's really that girly. I say use it if you like it. I use female avatars from time to time. It can be fun to switch things up some every now and then. :)
Quote from: Edge on March 17, 2014, 08:05:27 PM
Indeed, but that's the current economy.
May I have some opinions? This avatar. Is it too girly?
That's actually kind of why I like it. Right now, I look really girly and if Loki can be portrayed as even girlier than I am and still be Loki, that makes me feel a little better about my own looks.
But on the other hand, it may give people the wrong idea. Then again, why should I care?
Your new Loki is sexydrogynous.
Quote from: Malachite on March 17, 2014, 08:18:42 PM
Concerning your avatar, I don't think it's really that girly. I say use it if you like it. I use female avatars from time to time. It can be fun to switch things up some every now and then. :)
lol That's an artist's rendition of Loki's current form in the comics right now. Different hair though. He isn't female. Well, he was for awhile, but mostly he's just ridiculously pretty. Kinda made me worried about where they were taking the story, but I think it'll be ok.
Loki as female in the last issue (she's the one with the black hair):
http://ladygeekgirl.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/loki-as-trixie.png (http://ladygeekgirl.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/loki-as-trixie.png)
Received a new dildo today, it's fun however a real man would be so much more nicer. I'm going to improve my profile on a dating site & try again. Surely my type man is out there. It seems like all I get to kiss are frogs, no prince.
What am I going to do today?
Thinking about taking up painting again - My therapist thinks that it is a good form of expression and will help me to relieve some of my depression
- Plus I've been noticing some things that I think would be good to make paintings of
Quote from: V M on March 18, 2014, 04:55:05 AM
Thinking about taking up painting again - My therapist thinks that it is a good form of expression and will help me to relieve some of my depression
- Plus I've been noticing some things that I think would be good to make paintings of
I'd love to see them!
Edge, that one picture I saw of you reminds me SO much of one of your previous Loki pictures. Seriously. Spitting images. And no such thing as a profile picture being too girly, on other sites the most manly men upload profile pictures of busty babes..... :p
Quote from: V M on March 18, 2014, 04:55:05 AM
Thinking about taking up painting again - My therapist thinks that it is a good form of expression and will help me to relieve some of my depression
- Plus I've been noticing some things that I think would be good to make paintings of
Do it. Painting is fun.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 18, 2014, 09:01:42 AMEdge, that one picture I saw of you reminds me SO much of one of your previous Loki pictures.
Thanks! Which one if you don't mind me asking?
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 18, 2014, 09:01:42 AMAnd no such thing as a profile picture being too girly, on other sites the most manly men upload profile pictures of busty babes..... :p
Or ponies... Seriously, I know a viking guy who posts about fighting and weapons... and my little pony.
Quote from: Edge on March 17, 2014, 08:05:27 PM
Indeed, but that's the current economy.
May I have some opinions? This avatar. Is it too girly?
That's actually kind of why I like it. Right now, I look really girly and if Loki can be portrayed as even girlier than I am and still be Loki, that makes me feel a little better about my own looks.
But on the other hand, it may give people the wrong idea. Then again, why should I care?
Totally cool avatar Edge, I like it!
Quote from: Edge on March 18, 2014, 09:04:43 AMThanks! Which one if you don't mind me asking?
Or ponies... Seriously, I know a viking guy who posts about fighting and weapons... and my little pony.
Uuuuhh one of you, webcamish shot, thiiink it was in the piccy thread for everyone. And idr the Loki picture but the two of you were so much alike haha!
Yay ponies! Awesome little things.
We used to have horses when I was younger and I had my own pony for about three years. His name was Charlie and he was mostly there to accompany our older horses, but I rode him regularly. Then one time he arose to his backlegs and I fell out of the saddle and he landed with one of his hooves straight on my left hand and broke it. Ever since then I've never ridden a horse again.
Quote from: 930310 on March 18, 2014, 10:48:45 AM
We used to have horses when I was younger and I had my own pony for about three years. His name was Charlie and he was mostly there to accompany our older horses, but I rode him regularly. Then one time he arose to his backlegs and I fell out of the saddle and he landed with one of his hooves straight on my left hand and broke it. Ever since then I've never ridden a horse again.
I was rounding up some horses into a corral and one bit my back just under a shoulder blade, OMG that was painful! Then another stepped on my foot, I stay away from horses now.
Well, you know what they say...
Sorry it was too tempting.
Quote from: Edge on March 17, 2014, 10:11:04 PM
lol That's an artist's rendition of Loki's current form in the comics right now. Different hair though. He isn't female. Well, he was for awhile, but mostly he's just ridiculously pretty. Kinda made me worried about where they were taking the story, but I think it'll be ok.
Loki as female in the last issue (she's the one with the black hair):
http://ladygeekgirl.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/loki-as-trixie.png (http://ladygeekgirl.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/loki-as-trixie.png)
Loki looks nice as a female lol.
I'm glad my horses are well mannered. :p
Trying to knit a mitten. Whole different kind of mitten that I've ever done before, with a hole pattern and waves at the bottom. So purty but I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing lmao.
Thinking that maybe I should go to bed because I'm very tired.
Quote from: Chris R. on March 18, 2014, 04:53:12 PM
Thinking that maybe I should go to bed because I'm very tired.
Ditto
Breakfast for dinner. I hate breakfast for dinner.
I got an email from Gamestop telling me to "please come back". The last game I'v brought there was GTA V and that was almost half a year ago. Gamestop has given me a coupon for $10 off my next pre-owned purchase that's $30 or more. That's pretty good and I'd get the Hatsune Miku game for $35 with that plus tax and bus fare.....and I have gift cards. The offer ends this month. That seriously not a bad deal if I'm able to give them the code because I don't have a printer to print out the coupon. As much of a good deal that is, I think I'm going to have to pass. That money could go towards something else like my top surgery fund or even a brand new video game that I "must" pre-order when E3 rolls around in Summer. I know I have gift cards and store credit (probably about $100 worth) but I'm so hardened to using them in hopes of using it on that "one" game I just "know" is going to be worth it. I dropped the ball on that with Far Cry 3, Black Ops 2, Saints Row T Third (AND the strategy guide-ouch), and depending on how I'm feeling, GTA V. The only game that I think was worth $60 was inFAMOUS 2. I don't even know why I'm bringing this up. I do most of my video game shopping on Black Friday, though I skipped it this year. That way I'm only spending $30-$40 on a new game. Chances are, I'm going to do the same with future games. Nowadays, I take it a step further and just watch the Lets Plays.
The only games coming out that I'm interested in are Dying Light, The Evil Within, and Watch Dogs. I may or may not watch the LPs of the first two (depending on if I can take the horror element to them as I'm becoming more sensitive to them). As for Watch Dogs, there's no way I'm pre-ordering it out of principle. I WAS going to pre-order it, but Ubisoft has a pattern of delaying games (Rayman, Far Cry 3, Splinter Cell: Blacklist, and now Watch Dogs) and in FC 3's case, I consider it false advertisement and that game was a MAJOR let down so no, I'm not pre-ordering it. I'm going to buy that game used or buy it new for like $20. Ubisoft hasn't hit the crap list like EA, THQ, and Capcom, but they are very close to being on there. The game looks good though.
Quote from: Malachite on March 18, 2014, 10:31:11 PM
I got an email from Gamestop telling me to "please come back". The last game I'v brought there was GTA V and that was almost half a year ago. Gamestop has given me a coupon for $10 off my next pre-owned purchase that's $30 or more. That's pretty good and I'd get the Hatsune Miku game for $35 with that plus tax and bus fare.....and I have gift cards. The offer ends this month. That seriously not a bad deal if I'm able to give them the code because I don't have a printer to print out the coupon. As much of a good deal that is, I think I'm going to have to pass. That money could go towards something else like my top surgery fund or even a brand new video game that I "must" pre-order when E3 rolls around in Summer. I know I have gift cards and store credit (probably about $100 worth) but I'm so hardened to using them in hopes of using it on that "one" game I just "know" is going to be worth it. I dropped the ball on that with Far Cry 3, Black Ops 2, Saints Row T Third (AND the strategy guide-ouch), and depending on how I'm feeling, GTA V. The only game that I think was worth $60 was inFAMOUS 2. I don't even know why I'm bringing this up. I do most of my video game shopping on Black Friday, though I skipped it this year. That way I'm only spending $30-$40 on a new game. Chances are, I'm going to do the same with future games. Nowadays, I take it a step further and just watch the Lets Plays.
The only games coming out that I'm interested in are Dying Light, The Evil Within, and Watch Dogs. I may or may not watch the LPs of the first two (depending on if I can take the horror element to them as I'm becoming more sensitive to them). As for Watch Dogs, there's no way I'm pre-ordering it out of principle. I WAS going to pre-order it, but Ubisoft has a pattern of delaying games (Rayman, Far Cry 3, Splinter Cell: Blacklist, and now Watch Dogs) and in FC 3's case, I consider it false advertisement and that game was a MAJOR let down so no, I'm not pre-ordering it. I'm going to buy that game used or buy it new for like $20. Ubisoft hasn't hit the crap list like EA, THQ, and Capcom, but they are very close to being on there. The game looks good though.
The Evil Within looks pretty awesome. If you're gonna buy a survival horror game, though, I would advise not watching an LP of it beforehand because it removes a LOT of the "fright" from it when you get to play it yourself and know what's coming. I played the first Dead Space game blind and almost soiled myself on multiple occasions. Good times. ;D
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 18, 2014, 08:27:35 PM
Breakfast for dinner. I hate breakfast for dinner.
Its all about dinner for breakfast instead :)
Quote from: Sephirah on March 18, 2014, 10:35:21 PM
The Evil Within looks pretty awesome. If you're gonna buy a survival horror game, though, I would advise not watching an LP of it beforehand because it removes a LOT of the "fright" from it when you get to play it yourself and know what's coming. I played the first Dead Space game blind and almost soiled myself on multiple occasions. Good times. ;D
Oh when it comes to survival horror games, I definately don't buy those (RE 6 may be the exception but that's only because it has a COD feel to it). I suck at horror survival so TEW is definately going to b a LP for me. :D I watched the LP of Dead Space 2 and I've never been the same since, especially with the "come to mama" scene and the eye poke needle game. I watched the Dead Space 3 game in hopes of it further scaring me for life, but that didn't happen, which could be either a good thing or bad thing.
I am thinking about how its 444am i feel a bit ill with a temperature and woke up an hour ago with a craving for ice cream.. However i cant really be bothered getting dressed to go the 24hr supermarket and may just go 24hr mcdonalds by uni for fries and a milkshake later..,
Incidentally my friend the other day was trying to convince me mcdonalds fries dipped in milkshakes r nice., im not convinced its something i wanna try
More like a note to self: dude, if you don't get off this feminist kick soon...
I'm wondering what it is that keeps me coming back here.
How much it would cost for our dog to get the neccessary surgery he needs.
What I should do now.
Quote from: FA on March 19, 2014, 02:22:01 AM
More like a note to self: dude, if you don't get off this feminist kick soon...
What's the rest of that sentence?
I guess every day with HRT is a good day. 6 months & some changes however I sure look forward to a more normal feminine body. It's still kinda cold where I live. I'm so ready for spring.
When is the weather going to improve and when will spring arrive?
Quote from: 930310 on March 19, 2014, 07:48:10 AM
When is the weather going to improve and when will spring arrive?
My very thoughts! We've had a foot of rain since the 1st of the year according to my neighbor's rain gage.
Quote from: Shantel on March 19, 2014, 08:26:23 AM
My very thoughts! We've had a foot of rain since the 1st of the year according to my neighbor's rain gage.
The thing I hate the most is the temperature. It's just a couple of degrees above freezing so it's cold as heck.
Also the wind. It is terrible.
Quote from: 930310 on March 19, 2014, 08:55:47 AM
The thing I hate the most is the temperature. It's just a couple of degrees above freezing so it's cold as heck.
Also the wind. It is terrible.
I live in a comparable latitude but we get warm currents off the Pacific coast that converts all that potential snow to rain and keeps the temperature pretty moderate.
Quote from: Shantel on March 19, 2014, 09:04:30 AM
I live in a comparable latitude but we get warm currents off the Pacific coast that converts all that potential snow to rain and keeps the temperature pretty moderate.
I guess that rain is better than snow though.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2F7Bku9.jpg&hash=b4d5d2f1eea8cecd0d2205aad45ec2b67e13dfaa)
Thinking that it may or may not show that I went to bed with wet hair.
LMAO! :D ;D :laugh:
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 19, 2014, 10:06:44 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpuu.sh%2F7Bku9.jpg&hash=b4d5d2f1eea8cecd0d2205aad45ec2b67e13dfaa)
Thinking that it may or may not show that I went to bed with wet hair.
If I go to bed with wet hair it almost always ends up by me having to cut it in some places because it tangles itself.
Which is why you cut it short! It looks really long there, it's actually very short, no chance of putting it in a ponytail or anything. No tangles because there's nothing to tangle :D
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 19, 2014, 11:16:59 AM
Which is why you cut it short! It looks really long there, it's actually very short, no chance of putting it in a ponytail or anything. No tangles because there's nothing to tangle :D
Oh I hate short hair. I like having longer hair and I've always liked it. But when I was younger my parents forced cut it because "A boy can't have long hair". How I hated them everytime they did so. It caused me so much distress and I cried every single time they did it to me. Now I haven't had short hair in several years.
I hate when people in Facebook yard sell groups or on Craigslist and they are like "I have $1,000 to spend let me know what you got." That comes off as cocky to me. I don't even think many of these people actually spend the money and just want to see people jump all ovre the opportunity to snap pictures and describe whatever they have only to say no or not reply at all. I think it may be a kick for some. Not cool.
Not cool at all.
It's the same with people that are haggling on prices and when they actually get the price they wanted they decline. I've been a volunteer at several flee markets and this appears to be fairly common.
Quote from: 930310 on March 19, 2014, 01:26:59 PM
Not cool at all.
It's the same with people that are haggling on prices and when they actually get the price they wanted they decline. I've been a volunteer at several flee markets and this appears to be fairly common.
See that would annoy me. It's even worse when other people are around and they know you are willing to go lower after the haggler has declined. Ack!
I got a call from a security guard at the hospital and they want me to come in for an interview on Friday at 10 a.m. This will be my first job interview. We will see what happens.
Quote from: Malachite on March 19, 2014, 02:15:40 PM
See that would annoy me. It's even worse when other people are around and they know you are willing to go lower after the haggler has declined. Ack!
It might be some kind of strategy for some groups. First send in one to determine the price level and then one for haggling and finally one for buying.
Quote from: Malachite on March 19, 2014, 01:23:54 PM
I hate when people in Facebook yard sell groups or on Craigslist and they are like "I have $1,000 to spend let me know what you got." That comes off as cocky to me. I don't even think many of these people actually spend the money and just want to see people jump all ovre the opportunity to snap pictures and describe whatever they have only to say no or not reply at all. I think it may be a kick for some. Not cool.
"I'll sell you this 5 dollar bill for $1000! One of a kind, no other like it" See that last part is a bit of advertising genius and completely true. The varying serial numbers are unique to each individual bill, so it's perfectly true that it's one of a kinda.
Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 19, 2014, 04:36:48 PM
"I'll sell you this 5 dollar bill for $1000! One of a kind, no other like it" See that last part is a bit of advertising genius and completely true. The varying serial numbers are unique to each individual bill, so it's perfectly true that it's one of a kinda.
Except if they are counterfeit...
True. But in that case it's just a knockoff and the original is still one of a kind. Unless you're buying the counterfeit, then it's not one of a kind.
Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 19, 2014, 04:51:42 PM
True. But in that case it's just a knockoff and the original is still one of a kind. Unless you're buying the counterfeit, then it's not one of a kind.
Depending on the quality you might have a hard time knowing if it's one of a kind or not. I've actually received counterfeit money as change when I bought something. At first I just thought that it was a missprint, but it turned out that it was fake. My dad sent it for some test or something, I can't remember what happened.
True
I heard an R.E.M. song that I remember my dad listened to when I was kid and also happens to fit my mood.
About my future and what will happen in my life the next couple of years.
Quote from: Edge on March 19, 2014, 11:07:25 PM
I heard an R.E.M. song that I remember my dad listened to when I was kid and also happens to fit my mood.
There are days when I have played 'Everybody Hurts' for hours :'(
OMG I was asked for an interview for a local newspaper about my transition through my blog. O_O I never thought I'd get a chance like this!
Quote from: Cindy on March 20, 2014, 02:19:49 AM
There are days when I have played 'Everybody Hurts' for hours :'(
That's another one my dad used to play a lot. I've been listening to "Losing my Religion" over and over.
That's cool, Tossu-sama.
Quote from: Tossu-sama on March 20, 2014, 06:22:50 AM
OMG I was asked for an interview for a local newspaper about my transition through my blog. O_O I never thought I'd get a chance like this!
Wow! Amazing and a chance in a lifetime!
Just finished a mitten with the pattern of a Swedish dalahorse on it. It ended up being huge, as in can-put-it-on-my-cat kind of huge. So a bit of Kitten magic and the mitten is hereby a sock.
Quote from: Edge on March 20, 2014, 07:20:11 AM
That's cool, Tossu-sama.
Quote from: 930310 on March 20, 2014, 08:06:36 AM
Wow! Amazing and a chance in a lifetime!
Oh yes, indeed. 8)
I just asked that my real name and face won't be published because I live in a relatively small city and rumors start very fast and everyone seems to know everyone etc. You know how it is. Besides, there has already been a completely false rumor about me going on and I don't want that to happen again. >_>
Add the fact that the area I live in is Finland's equivalent for United States' bible belt... Lovely.
But otherwise I'm looking forward to it, maybe I'll be able to help other people in my situation like this. :)
And it seems the interview will be next week!
Quote from: Tossu-sama on March 20, 2014, 08:38:36 AM
Oh yes, indeed. 8)
I just asked that my real name and face won't be published because I live in a relatively small city and rumors start very fast and everyone seems to know everyone etc. You know how it is. Besides, there has already been a completely false rumor about me going on and I don't want that to happen again. >_>
Add the fact that the area I live in is Finland's equivalent for United States' bible belt... Lovely.
But otherwise I'm looking forward to it, maybe I'll be able to help other people in my situation like this. :)
And it seems the interview will be next week!
Then we are practically neighbours!
I live in Helsingborg in southern Sweden!
Quote from: Tossu-sama on March 20, 2014, 08:38:36 AM
Oh yes, indeed. 8)
I just asked that my real name and face won't be published because I live in a relatively small city and rumors start very fast and everyone seems to know everyone etc. You know how it is. Besides, there has already been a completely false rumor about me going on and I don't want that to happen again. >_>
Add the fact that the area I live in is Finland's equivalent for United States' bible belt... Lovely.
But otherwise I'm looking forward to it, maybe I'll be able to help other people in my situation like this. :)
And it seems the interview will be next week!
Good luck,
Hope you'll let us know how it went and what your impressions were at the time.
Quote from: 930310 on March 20, 2014, 08:58:53 AM
Then we are practically neighbours!
I live in Helsingborg in southern Sweden!
Oh wow, neighbors indeed! At least when it comes to countries. :D
Quote from: Shantel on March 20, 2014, 09:17:32 AM
Good luck,
Hope you'll let us know how it went and what your impressions were at the time.
Thanks. :) Based on the e-mailing, the interviewer seems to be very friendly case.
I was thinking I could translate the article once it's published (and when I get my hands on the paper myself, lol). :D
I'm thinking I may never want to eat at McDonald's again after watching this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f81xZtEfpws&feature=youtube_gdata_player (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f81xZtEfpws&feature=youtube_gdata_player)
Oh, Japan..
Quote from: Calder Smith on March 20, 2014, 12:39:08 PM
I'm thinking I may never want to eat at McDonald's again after watching this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f81xZtEfpws&feature=youtube_gdata_player (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f81xZtEfpws&feature=youtube_gdata_player)
Oh, Japan..
I feel like it's about time I ate at McDonalds again(Last time was about 2006)...
Thinking about my partner.
A lot of people seem to be leaving. That sucks.
Never mind.
My son inherited an allergy to a kind of antibiotic. It's a different kind than the one I'm allergic to though.
Edit: I googled them. They're in the same family. That makes sense.
I'm thinking about how my dog is starting to show her age more and more. She'll be 15 this year and still in great health though.
Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 20, 2014, 10:03:55 PM
I'm thinking about how my dog is starting to show her age more and more. She'll be 15 this year and still in great health though.
What breed is she?
We have thirteen dogs right now(Papillon/Chihuahua-mixes) and the oldest we have just turned seven.
She's a Husky with a some wolf mixed in.
I'm thinking my coworkers are thinking WTF...
I'm thinking that the +/- system on this forum is unjust and not fitting for this type of forum.
Quote from: 930310 on March 21, 2014, 01:32:48 PM
I'm thinking that the +/- system on this forum is unjust and not fitting for this type of forum.
Meh....it doesn't matter. (Not saying that your opinion is invalid. I just don't get why so many people complain about this)
Anyways...I'm glad that Winter is officially over. I was glad to see it go. Sure, there will be some bouncing back and forth between the colder and warmer temps, but I will deal with it. I just hope that we have a true Spring and not 'jumping from Winter to Summer'. That's REALLY annoying.
Im thinking that since I stopped worrying about passing things get less nervous,
I think that I used to be afraid cause I needed to do a huge transformation to be out as a girl ,
now that people gender me female sometimes even with male clothes I feel that I should just enjoy the journey without stressing over things that trans people normaly do...
I ll be myself no matter what
Quote from: Malachite on March 20, 2014, 08:40:04 PM
A lot of people seem to be leaving. That sucks.
There seems to be a changing of the guard going on.
I wish we could see a graphical representation of who posted when and in what volume.
Quote from: 930310 on March 21, 2014, 01:32:48 PM
I'm thinking that the +/- system on this forum is unjust and not fitting for this type of forum.
It should at least include a non-binary option. ::)
Quote from: Sois toi-même! on March 21, 2014, 09:43:15 PM
There seems to be a changing of the guard going on.
I wish we could see a graphical representation of who posted when and in what volume.
That would be interesting.
Quote from: Sois toi-même! on March 21, 2014, 09:43:15 PM
There seems to be a changing of the guard going on.
It happens periodically.
Mmmmmm Little Caesar's Pizza. This is the perfect pizza for someone like me....broke. It's very economical and tasty.
Speaking of which, I am supposed to meet someone today at 10:30 a.m. from a yard sale Facebook group I'm in. Hopefully the deal will go well and I'll have an extra $5 to put into my top surgery fund....or to buy a pizza from Little Caesars lol. Nah it's going into my top surgrey fund since I have a LONG way to go.
I'm thinking about today. I dunno what I have to do today pff.
I'm thinking about why I hate Sweden.
I think it's a combination of the cold and windy weather and the failed immigration politics we have...
I'm wondering how the Australian contingent feel about this photograph...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsimlb.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F03%2Fdodgers-diamondbacks-blog.jpg%3Fw%3D600%26amp%3Bh%3D400&hash=c553d117b78f8145456c14f3be5044dc94f8cc48)
Quote from: 930310 on March 22, 2014, 12:34:11 PM
I'm thinking about why I hate Sweden.
I think it's a combination of the cold and windy weather and the failed immigration politics we have...
Oh the immigration politics are just as bad in other countries. :/ I miss Sweden, been a year and a half since the last time I went there. Might go there next month though.
Kittenswithmittens's signature reminds me of frost giants in the MCU.
I'm thinking I should be working on my homework, but I just don't feel up to it. I am also remembering that I am supposed to do a presentation in class on monday, but I can't do it. Not because I'm not prepared, but because I'll have a four year old with me (he still can't go back to day care) and I'd probably end up spending most of the presentation telling him to sit down.
Someone on the way to the car said that I'd. Be a good femme Matt Smith. Don VT know who that is, so I said ummmm, Ok.
At least I got gendered as female. Without eyeliner. I look so much more female with it. I need a sharpener for my pencil though, or to remember where my roommate keeps hers.
I noticed what whenever I sell something of mine, that I get "seller's" remorse. I'm not sure if it's actual remorse, or just natural sadness of not having that product in your possesion no longer. I've been selling for about 2 or 3 years and sometimes I wonder if it was really worth selling certain items because I do miss them periodically. There's even one barter deal I did that I regret sometimes. It was 3 binoculars for Call of Duty: Black Ops at the time when it was near full price. I rarely used the binoculars, but I pumped SO many hours into Black Ops and multiplayer.....at least 100 plus hours so perhaps it was a nice deal? It's really all relative I suppose. One other deal I sold a little plug-in traffic light for $10. I kind of miss it, but at the same time, I never used it. I believe in that particular deal, it was for the kids at a church so I thought that was nice. I even threw in a Veggie Tales game I had at no extra cost. A plug in, traffic light won't be too hard to find. If I really wanted one again then I could find one on Ebay. I think I will be alright for a while so maybe it's just the natural sadness. Nevertheless, I have learned to be more careful with what sell. I decided to pull my shark tooth necklace and a Star of David/cross necklace my sisters gave me from online and keep them. The shark tooth necklace is pretty cool, and even though it's short, I can wear it to the beach after I get my top surgery and at least pretend like I'm a surfer. As for the other necklace, I'll just hold on to it since my sister brought it from Israel. I'm sure I can find an occasion to wear it on eventually. Today I sold some toy dinosaurs and I kind of miss them. Again, I think it's just the natural sadness of not having something in your possession that you usually have. Since I'm a hoarder, that can get pretty intense. Some of those dinosaurs were pretty cool, but I think it's even cooler to have $5 and let a child use them for a project like I did in second grade. On top of that, I think it would be cooler to know those dinosaurs contributed to my top surgery fund. In a way, I suppose the things I sold will always be with m in some type of way. When I look down at my flat chest, I will know that part of the reason my chest is flat will be because of those items. Since I intend on having a flat chest (even if they get a bit bigger from gaining weight, they shouldn't be the size they are now) for the remainder of my life, those items will "be" with me in the form of the money I got from them.
In all reality, the money in my top surgery find right now would only cover part of my (two-week) stay at New Beginnings Retreat, and not my actual top surgery so just about everything I wrote above is void. Then again, when I say top surgery, I include ALL costs and not just the cost of the surgery so then again, maybe it isn't void. I don't like to think ''okay I've saved enough for surgery YAY!'' and then have to figure out the costs for every other thing. When I say surgery, that means the liposuction, the therapy letter of reccomendation, the pre-doctor check-up for medical clearing, the price of airfare and it's luggage costs, taxis to and from the airport, the two week stay at New Beginnings Retreat if I can get in there, the scar cream, food, a cam recorder to film the revealing, clothes because I'm going to have to buy some button-down shirts and/or sweaters, misc. items that will help aid in my comfort while healing, a bit of emergency money, my medical clearance paper to work again, potential price increases, the top surgery itself, medicine and prescriptions, the complimentary gift to the surgeon (may wait on that to see if I will actually love my results first), another complimentary gift to my friend if she comes down to help me, $400 for the pathology fee, gym membership to help me get better results with bus fare, and whatever else may come along. I'm sure I'm missing quite a few things. After it's all said and done, I may have hit the 20 grand mark just on that. I'm just saying 20 grand because that seems about right in my warped mind. Hey if I hit that $20,000 mark and realize that I didn't need all of it, then that will be great as opposed to setting the bare minimum standard and then realizing that you need to raise more for whatever reason. That can be gut-wrenching for some people that are barely making it, and it would be for myself. Perhaps I should up my goal to 25 grand for top surgery just in case. Nah, lets just stick with 20 grand at first (which is almost enough for a metoidioplasty) and see what how much more I would need after reaching that goal. Hopefully not too much more if so. Really, I only need to raise $18,253.97 now.
I'm sure that I have caused some people to drop in their IQ points. Sorry. I over react but that's just who I am and in this particular situation, I like it.
In other news, I have totally destroyed my dieting this weekend. I'll get back in it on Monday.
I am thinking that I am really tired and should go to bed. But then realize that it will take me forever to go to sleep because I think to much. It is a never ending cycle.
That apparently, the site is back up.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 22, 2014, 03:24:27 PM
Oh the immigration politics are just as bad in other countries. :/ I miss Sweden, been a year and a half since the last time I went there. Might go there next month though.
Kan du prata/skriva svenska? :)
Quote from: piglet smith on March 23, 2014, 05:32:14 PM
That apparently, the site is back up.
I received several emails from Susan's addicted girlfriends about that yesterday, glad we're back...time for a fix! :D :laugh:
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 22, 2014, 06:42:20 PM
Someone on the way to the car said that I'd. Be a good femme Matt Smith. Don VT know who that is, so I said ummmm, Ok.
At least I got gendered as female. Without eyeliner. I look so much more female with it. I need a sharpener for my pencil though, or to remember where my roommate keeps hers.
That is absolutely hilarious, I've been thinking the same thing! It's a very good thing, Matt Smith is awesome, both of you have some of the facial characteristics in common. You should take that as a massive compliment, both the gendering and that if you were to look like a celebrity it'd be Matt Smith. I'd be up in the clouds.
Quote from: 930310 on March 24, 2014, 02:49:45 AM
Kan du prata/skriva svenska? :)
Jooo, jag är från Skövde fast jag bor inte där :)
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 24, 2014, 09:50:42 AMThat is absolutely hilarious, I've been thinking the same thing! It's a very good thing, Matt Smith is awesome, both of you have some of the facial characteristics in common. You should take that as a massive compliment, both the gendering and that if you were to look like a celebrity it'd be Matt Smith. I'd be up in the clouds.
Turns out he's from Doctor Who, and I like the only person on the planet who doesn't watch it or Supernatural. I like my crime dramas, jeez.
I'd also be preferred to be compared to a female celebrity though :(
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 24, 2014, 10:08:31 AM
Turns out he's from Doctor Who, and I like the only person on the planet who doesn't watch it or Supernatural. I like my crime dramas, jeez.
I'd also be preferred to be compared to a female celebrity though :(
Not the only person, hon. I don't watch them, either. :)
Quote from: Sephirah on March 24, 2014, 10:49:46 AMNot the only person, hon. I don't watch them, either. :)
Wohooo!
I like NCIS, Hawaii Five-0, Bones, and Psych, at least of what's on now. All crime dramas (I'm hesitant to call Psych a crime "comedy" because those two words should not go together.) I don't really like to stray, even though I've tried, I just can't get used to anything else really.
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 24, 2014, 10:59:44 AM
Quote from: Sephirah on March 24, 2014, 10:49:46 AMNot the only person, hon. I don't watch them, either. :)
Wohooo!
I like NCIS, Hawaii Five-0, Bones, and Psych, at least of what's on now. All crime dramas (I'm hesitant to call Psych a crime "comedy" because those two words should not go together.) I don't really like to stray, even though I've tried, I just can't get used to anything else really.
Law and Order for me. I also liked Cold Case (not sure if it's on anymore or just reruns). Forensic Files is good. Disappeared was okay. My favorite was Unsolved Mysteries (which unfortunately is dead like its host). I tend to prefer stuff based on real cases. And especially old cases. I spend an inordinate amount of time perusing missing person's cases and unidentified bodies online. I don't expect to ever find a match. But these unheard of people who went missing or unidentified long ago are the most fascinating.
Quote from: FA on March 24, 2014, 11:36:54 AMLaw and Order for me. I also liked Cold Case (not sure if it's on anymore or just reruns). Forensic Files is good. Disappeared was okay. My favorite was Unsolved Mysteries (which unfortunately is dead like its host). I tend to prefer stuff based on real cases. And especially old cases. I spend an inordinate amount of time perusing missing person's cases and unidentified bodies online. I don't expect to ever find a match. But these unheard of people who went missing or unidentified long ago are the most fascinating.
I like the UK one more, I dunno why really.
Out of the others, I've only heard of Cold Case, and I'm not certain if I've watched it or not.
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 24, 2014, 11:40:35 AM
Quote from: FA on March 24, 2014, 11:36:54 AMLaw and Order for me. I also liked Cold Case (not sure if it's on anymore or just reruns). Forensic Files is good. Disappeared was okay. My favorite was Unsolved Mysteries (which unfortunately is dead like its host). I tend to prefer stuff based on real cases. And especially old cases. I spend an inordinate amount of time perusing missing person's cases and unidentified bodies online. I don't expect to ever find a match. But these unheard of people who went missing or unidentified long ago are the most fascinating.
I like the UK one more, I dunno why really.
Out of the others, I've only heard of Cold Case, and I'm not certain if I've watched it or not.
UK one?
Quote from: FA on March 24, 2014, 11:47:01 AMUK one?
Law and Order UK.
I don't watch it with any frequency, though.
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 24, 2014, 12:54:03 PM
Quote from: FA on March 24, 2014, 11:47:01 AMUK one?
Law and Order UK.
I don't watch it with any frequency, though.
Oh, I never heard of that before! I'll have to check that out.
I have to to jump in the shower and get ready for an appointment
Quote from: 930310 on March 22, 2014, 12:34:11 PM
I'm thinking about why I hate Sweden.
I think it's a combination of the cold and windy weather and the failed immigration politics we have...
Finland's immigration politics are starting to resemble Sweden's more or less. I won't even start about stuff related to this or you'll never hear the end of it...
Not to mention all the other f-ed up politics we have at the moment.The weather sounds quite familiar, too. :D
I'm hoping I did ok on that stupid test. I hate tests and invariably, I have a brain fart right in the middle of them. blah
I'm pretty sure I live in the U.S. but my apt.s mgr. makes me wonder if I live in Soviet Russia or Nazi Germany :P
I was thinking of something, but now I'm thinking that I forgot what I was thinking before.
I am thinking about "seasonal" vegetables. They're always the same no matter what season it is. >:(
Sometimes, I wish I could just let myself go and be completely insane, but I suspect I'd have a hard time coming back from that and functioning would be difficult. Sometimes, I feel so close to that I wonder if I already have and am just good at hiding it.
I'm thinking that there's a hole in the gas tank.
Chocolate chip cookies are delicious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZZKyPN5yt8
Is it worth studying Energy and enviromental physics this term if I am going to switch to med-school this fall?
I'm thinking about methods to earn money without being able to find a job...
Quote from: Jill F on March 24, 2014, 10:22:30 PM
Chocolate chip cookies are delicious.
I'm thinking thanks a lot Jill, now I want chocolate chip cookies!
No really, thanks a lot. They are delicious and will be a great treat.
Quote from: V M on March 25, 2014, 07:44:54 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZZKyPN5yt8
Oh hell yes! I love Hendrix, but I think Beck just smoked him here.
I'm thinking I like too many american things.. which would be good if i was in america >:(
Quote from: Chris R. on March 25, 2014, 10:27:24 AM
I'm thinking about methods to earn money without being able to find a job...
Same here
I'm thinking I really don't want to do my homework.
I'm also stuck on the first question. I can't find a use for extracted caffeine anywhere. The second part of the first question is so obvious I don't how to explain it other than "it's still tea just without the caffeine." Something tells me she'll want a better answer than that.
But you must. For the good of man kind!
Quote from: Edge on March 25, 2014, 07:37:01 PM
I'm thinking I really don't want to do my homework.
I'm also stuck on the first question. I can't find a use for extracted caffeine anywhere. The second part of the first question is so obvious I don't how to explain it other than "it's still tea just without the caffeine." Something tells me she'll want a better answer than that.
They get a powder form from the extraction process then use it in pharmaceuticals like some kinds of painkillers or even caffiene tablets (we have a thing in the uk called proplus) or they add it to like sodas n stuff.
Quote from: Emo on March 25, 2014, 08:53:00 PMBut you must. For the good of man kind!
Whoa, you're back!
Or maybe I just don't see you around anymore.
Emo where have you been dear ??
:o :)
Quote from: FalsePrincess on March 25, 2014, 09:06:21 PM
Emo where have you been dear ??
:o :)
Yeah, where have you been Emo?
Been busy. Lol.
Didnt know id be missed. :p
Quote from: Emo on March 25, 2014, 09:13:52 PMBeen busy. Lol.
Didnt know id be missed. :p
Very much so.
Sorry. Ill try to be on more.
So whats up you pplz? Doing ok?
Quote from: Emo on March 25, 2014, 09:19:02 PMSorry. Ill try to be on more.
So whats up you pplz? Doing ok?
Yep, finally have a prescription. I go to pick it up tomorrow morning.
Quote from: Lauren5 on March 25, 2014, 09:21:50 PM
Yep, finally have a prescription. I go to pick it up tomorrow morning.
Awesome!
Sounds like things are moving right along. :D
Quote from: radsi on March 25, 2014, 08:57:48 PM
They get a powder form from the extraction process then use it in pharmaceuticals like some kinds of painkillers or even caffiene tablets (we have a thing in the uk called proplus) or they add it to like sodas n stuff.
Thanks.
OMG my monitor burned out on my computer. What horrible timing given that I can't afford to replce it. It was kind of a crappy monitor anyway, but I'm still disappointed. I scavenged through the garage...my parents could actually be on a show of Hoarders. I found a lot of broken computer monitors. But they had no power cord or connecting cord - so I had to find a connecting cord (easy since they all generally look the same). Power cord, whole other story. It took a lot of tries to find one that fit. This one isn't very nice but at least I can use my computer.
I hope my dad doesn't come in and want the monitor. It belonged to my brother's old computer and he doesn't care about it. If dad wanted the monitor it would be "just in case" but he'd never use it. When his stuff breaks, he needs the newest laptop or tablet, whatever the hot toy is atm. This was literally covered in dust and surrounded by rusty computer parts in the garage. Last time I built my own laptop (with ALL my own supplies) he took it and sold it to a friend for $75 and kept the cash. He claimed it was built from his parts, but it definitely wasn't.
If he ever got the idea to sell my PC, I'd destroy something very precious to him. This cost me a lot of coin to build...a whole month's paycheck! Back when I had lots of money. *sigh* I miss it.
Quote from: birkin on March 26, 2014, 05:14:05 AM
OMG my monitor burned out on my computer. What horrible timing given that I can't afford to replce it. It was kind of a crappy monitor anyway, but I'm still disappointed. I scavenged through the garage...my parents could actually be on a show of Hoarders. I found a lot of broken computer monitors. But they had no power cord or connecting cord - so I had to find a connecting cord (easy since they all generally look the same). Power cord, whole other story. It took a lot of tries to find one that fit. This one isn't very nice but at least I can use my computer.
I hope my dad doesn't come in and want the monitor. It belonged to my brother's old computer and he doesn't care about it. If dad wanted the monitor it would be "just in case" but he'd never use it. When his stuff breaks, he needs the newest laptop or tablet, whatever the hot toy is atm. This was literally covered in dust and surrounded by rusty computer parts in the garage. Last time I built my own laptop (with ALL my own supplies) he took it and sold it to a friend for $75 and kept the cash. He claimed it was built from his parts, but it definitely wasn't.
If he ever got the idea to sell my PC, I'd destroy something very precious to him. This cost me a lot of coin to build...a whole month's paycheck! Back when I had lots of money. *sigh* I miss it.
Ugh I hate it when parents do that. Take your stuff without cause or reason (i.e. not as a punishment) and then sell it. Without your permission.
I got lucky with my parents. Happened once as a punishment, but even then wasn't selling it. Was back in '97 when N64 was coming out, and of course the school releases report cards right before Christmas. Despite the fact my grandma had pre-ordered it and could get a refund, I was stripped of it before it had arrived, and it became the communal system at her house from then on. Cousin asked if he could have it when we had to move her into assisted living, I let him.
Not at all the same, and mine was fairly justified, but I realized waaay after the fact how much it effected me. I bought ps1 the next year after saving up allowances and birthday money. Ps2 as well. Wasn't something I consciously realized, but even considering asking for a console as a gift never crossed my mind, it had to be something I saved up for and bought myself. I guess some part of me figured that since it was my money, and my saving up for it, the most they would do is ground me from it. Which is what happened. The idea that there are parents that don't even care about that, kinda hits home when I consider that even when I earned the money through my first summer job and jobs after, there are parents out there that'll still take it and sell it without a second thought, just imagining that has always bugged me. I got lucky, but fully sympathize with you on the laptop and the threat of the computer.
I feel better (albeit a little more unstable than usual), but it kind of bugs me that my friends have no clue what is and has been going on with me. I guess I'll have to get used to that.
How does one get used to that?
About my meeting with my psychologist tomorrow.
I'm thinking that its pretty messed up that lawsuits are already being filed over that missing airliner trying to assign blame before anyone even really knows what happened.
The fuzzy bunnies watch with glee as the constipated bear grumbles.
The doctors can say whatever they want but stratching inside your ear with a cotton-tip is SOOO GOOD.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 26, 2014, 05:11:05 PM
The doctors can say whatever they want but stratching inside your ear with a cotton-tip is SOOO GOOD.
I've never understood that anyway. How are you supposed to get the wax out of your ears without inserting the Q tip into your ear? As long as you don't do something stupid like puncture your eardrum with that thing, you should be safe.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on March 26, 2014, 05:11:05 PM
The doctors can say whatever they want but stratching inside your ear with a cotton-tip is SOOO GOOD.
So true! :)
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on March 26, 2014, 05:19:07 PM
I've never understood that anyway. How are you supposed to get the wax out of your ears without inserting the Q tip into your ear? As long as you don't do something stupid like puncture your eardrum with that thing, you should be safe.
Warning! When standing inside the bathroom with the door closed, turn away from the door when Q-tipping ears. :D
Quote from: Shantel on March 26, 2014, 05:22:03 PM
Warning! When standing inside the bathroom with the door closed, turn away from the door when Q-tipping ears. :D
That's the good thing about living alone. I never need to close my bathroom door.
I'm wondering what happened to the header at the top of the forum page? Seems like the ongoing conversations are suddenly
inaccessible!
Quote from: Shantel on March 26, 2014, 05:45:15 PM
I'm wondering what happened to the header at the top of the forum page? Seems like the ongoing conversations are suddenly
inaccessible!
What header? If you're talking about where you can click on unread topics, look for the arrow pointing down near the top right and click it.
I'm thinking I like it when arrangements are mutually agreeable.. someone at work really needed a shift covering 2mro so I said I would do it and in return now have 2 extra days off before my essay submission deadline ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I have tomorrow off too after having two days off, then I work Friday and off the weekend. I always feel weird with that many days off. And I have accomplished absolutely nothing the last two days other than getting one year older. sigh
Quote from: piglet smith on March 26, 2014, 06:18:02 PM
I have tomorrow off too after having two days off, then I work Friday and off the weekend. I always feel weird with that many days off. And I have accomplished absolutely nothing the last two days other than getting one year older. sigh
part timer! lol ;D ;D ;D ;D
happy birthday! and sometimes lazy days are the best :)
Quote from: piglet smith on March 26, 2014, 06:12:52 PM
What header? If you're talking about where you can click on unread topics, look for the arrow pointing down near the top right and click it.
There was two lines in the header at the top of the page the first was all unread posts since last visit and the second was unread posts to topics I had been involved on, so what happened to them? I don't plan on wasting a lot more time searching for replies to my posts, so what's going on?
Quote from: Shantel on March 26, 2014, 06:35:14 PM
There was two lines in the header at the top of the page the first was all unread posts since last visit and the second was unread posts to topics I had been involved on, so what happened to them? I don't plan on wasting a lot more time searching for replies to my posts, so what's going on?
It compacted on you for some reason. If you look a bit to the right of where it says Susan's Place Transgender Resources near the top, you should see a sort of down arrow looking thing, kind of faded looking, if you click it, those options should show back up in the expanded view.
Quote from: piglet smith on March 26, 2014, 06:42:56 PM
It compacted on you for some reason. If you look a bit to the right of where it says Susan's Place Transgender Resources near the top, you should see a sort of down arrow looking thing, kind of faded looking, if you click it, those options should show back up in the expanded view.
I never noticed that was there before.
I am think I am way too tired to stop and get a lotto ticket on my way home from work.
Quote from: piglet smith on March 26, 2014, 06:42:56 PM
It compacted on you for some reason. If you look a bit to the right of where it says Susan's Place Transgender Resources near the top, you should see a sort of down arrow looking thing, kind of faded looking, if you click it, those options should show back up in the expanded view.
You were right thanks! That's never happened before, but I'm dumber than a rock about tech stuff so thanks again!
Quote from: Shantel on March 26, 2014, 06:57:52 PM
You were right thanks! That's never happened before, but I'm dumber than a rock about tech stuff so thanks again!
You're quite welcome, shan.
me, I'm nosy about sites I go to, so I figure most stuff out fairly quickly.
I think I have a ghost in my house or something... I have been home alone last couple of days and lights will be on that I haven't switched on and the sink in my ensuite will be full when I haven't even used it... Its kinda freaky !
I'm so anal about punctuality...until my ipod isn't charged. Then all bets are off!
Quote from: birkin on March 27, 2014, 12:19:22 PM
I'm so anal about punctuality...until my ipod isn't charged. Then all bets are off!
Uh - Are watches too old fashioned now?
I thought I might would be a little more productive today, but so far, it hasn't panned out that way. I did get a shower in and had something to eat, so that's something...
I wish my father would accept me as his son. It hurts so much that he wants to tune out any talk of me being transgender. I can't get through to him. It's eating m up inside. I want to cut him from my life, but thonly rason I havne't is because he gives me money....money that I somtims put into my top surgery fund. That's th only reason I put up with his garbage and lack of emotions. I am not surprised that his girlfriend of 6 yars decided to leave him. I don't even blame my brother for cutting him out of his life. I hope one day that I can be in a position to do the same. Every time my father calls, I get stressed. It was so ironic that on tim I was at th doctor and my blood pressur was taken once when he was out of the room and it was normal and then it was taken in the same room with him and it was high....
I think I want Japanese food for dinner. *drools* Get in mah belly little fishies!
Quote from: Jill F on March 27, 2014, 02:15:01 PM
I think I want Japanese food for dinner. *drools* Get in mah belly little fishies!
And you could listen to Japanese Noise while you have dinner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aS-ktA5phY
Masonna on frickin MTV!! How insane is that?!
Gotta love 120 Minutes letting guest hosts actually having input as to what was shown. Too bad that Headbanger's Ball never did that.
Quote from: Shantel on March 27, 2014, 12:29:52 PM
Uh - Are watches too old fashioned now?
No, I just refuse to sit on our horrible transit system without headphones in. Lol.
Due to several reasons I've decided to stop visiting this page. I thiiink I have my message thingy so that if someone messages me I get an email but I won't be around anymore. Take care everyone :)
Heehee. I have blue hair. We'll see what it looks like when it dries anyway. Hopefully, I won't have to fix it.
I want blue hair. Heh, not what I came here to think
Is it too early to go to bed?
why the frick did they give me three pages of forms to fill out? if I could write that much, I wouldn't need hand therapy. screw it. I'll do what I can tomorrow and make them figure out the rest
You know you're obsessive when you worry about bits of hair the dye missed when it's so dark, the only reason I found is likely because I was looking. Ah well.
I hate when I get thinking about my past. I was thinking about some family members who are still not entirely accepting...realizing that I didn't transition, in part, because I was waiting for their approval. Because I felt like it would be selfish to hurt my family. But what I didn't realize was that there was a consequence to my not transitioning, which was that it made me profoundly unhappy, but also took so much of my emotional energy that I struggled to be the loving and attentive partner I should have been. I guess that goes to show you that every action, or inaction, has its consequences.
The apt.s complex I live in has become it's own little Communist subculture :P I feel very uncomfortable
Quote from: V M on March 28, 2014, 04:28:02 AM
The apt.s complex I live in has become it's own little Communist subculture :P I feel very uncomfortable
You mean you're not feeling the love from the comrades?
Going to get my haircut today. I am considering giving the people a "fake" nickname for the account. Because I am sick to DEATH of people mispronouncing and misspelling my name. I mean omfg people you're the biggest WASPS of all time how can you not know this name?
Thing is, what kind of nickname suits me? How can I decide something like this in a matter of hours?? Augh.
Me and my fiancée have been pondering about the sex life of Predators (or Yautja, if you prefer that term) and wondering if there are homosexual individuals among them.
Just one of these days.
Goodbye Susans Forum. I Am Not Deleting My Account But I Will No Longer Be An Active Member Here. I rarely post here anymore and i've gone back to the forums i used to frequent 99%. This forum helped during a particularly dark time, but i am no longer in need of it and there's nothing really keeping me here. If anyone i know wants to talk, write me a PM, i might give you my email address.
Quote from: Zóôt Threepwood on March 28, 2014, 03:49:52 PM
Goodbye Susans Forum. I Am Not Deleting My Account But I Will No Longer Be An Active Member Here. I rarely post here anymore and i've gone back to the forums i used to frequent 99%. This forum helped during a particularly dark time, but i am no longer in need of it and there's nothing really keeping me here. If anyone i know wants to talk, write me a PM, i might give you my email address.
Goodbye Threepwood, I wish you well!
I'll miss Threepwood's endless Zappa references. Made me nostalgic for my music-geek, Zappa-rarities-collecting teen years.
Also, I'm looking earnestly at a move to BC.
My sister brought my trampoline from me for $20, which was just about the original price I paid for it, minus taxes. That's pretty awesome! It has been sitting under my change jar because I'm debating if I should take that $20 and put it towards some type of exerise thing/something to better my health, or if I should just put it in my top surgery fund....or just put it back with my regular money. I honestly have no clue where it should go. On one hand, I have exercise stuff I don't use so it wouldn't seem right to buy one more thing that I don't use I have some exercise dvds and a fitness PS Move game with some other small equipment. I guess I should really utilize those first. Looking at that objectively, it almost seems like it would be a waste to spend it on exercise stuf if I don't use it, so now there's the question of whether to put it into my top surgery fund or back with my regular money. Hmmm decisions decisions.
Went and saw Noah with my brother yesterday. It was pretty good, better than I thought it might be.
Quote from: piglet smith on March 30, 2014, 10:59:11 AM
Went and saw Noah with my brother yesterday. It was pretty good, better than I thought it might be.
We're thinking of doing the same, sounds good!
Quote from: piglet smith on March 30, 2014, 10:59:11 AM
Went and saw Noah with my brother yesterday. It was pretty good, better than I thought it might be.
I always enjoy Aronovsky films. Pi is brilliant.
Is it weird I'm glad my mom just called me a b*tch? Usually, when she's mad any respect for my gender flies out the window. That actually shows me how far she's come, in a sort of weird way. Cuz I haven't been sure if she's just been putting it on and that tells me she's not.
Quote from: jussmoi4nao on March 30, 2014, 02:18:26 PM
Is it weird I'm glad my mom just called me a b*tch? Usually, when she's mad any respect for my gender flies out the window. That actually shows me how far she's come, in a sort of weird way. Cuz I haven't been sure if she's just been putting it on and that tells me she's not.
LOL! :D
Well i think im ready for an SO..
-_- *sigh*
Quote from: Emo on March 30, 2014, 04:58:20 PM
Well i think im ready for an SO..
-_- *sigh*
I ve been waiting for this moment
*blush*
Quote from: FalsePrincess on March 30, 2014, 05:24:55 PM
I ve been waiting for this moment
*blush*
:3
Id totally go out with you.
Quote from: Emo on March 30, 2014, 06:08:53 PM
:3
Id totally go out with you.
we could go to the movies if we werent thousand of kilometers away from each other XD lol
Really? I thought it was only miles. ;D
Quote from: Emo on March 30, 2014, 06:30:33 PM
Really? I thought it was only miles. ;D
Meh I dont even know...
Quote from: Emo on March 30, 2014, 06:45:23 PM
XD
You gave up so easy.
well it d be sad if I would actually sit and measure our exact distance XDXD
Do it.
Do it nao. :|
Lol jk
There is a part of the Bible that says something like 'faith , hope and love/charity.* The greatest of these is love/charity. It makes sense. Faith is built on the past, hope is for the future, but love/charity is in what we do in the present.
*depending on version.
do i post a picture?
hmmmm
Quote from: Malachite on March 30, 2014, 10:15:22 AM
My sister brought my trampoline from me for $20, which was just about the original price I paid for it, minus taxes. That's pretty awesome! It has been sitting under my change jar because I'm debating if I should take that $20 and put it towards some type of exerise thing/something to better my health, or if I should just put it in my top surgery fund....or just put it back with my regular money. I honestly have no clue where it should go. On one hand, I have exercise stuff I don't use so it wouldn't seem right to buy one more thing that I don't use I have some exercise dvds and a fitness PS Move game with some other small equipment. I guess I should really utilize those first. Looking at that objectively, it almost seems like it would be a waste to spend it on exercise stuf if I don't use it, so now there's the question of whether to put it into my top surgery fund or back with my regular money. Hmmm decisions decisions.
I made a decision and my updated top surgery fund amount reflects that decision I made. :)
Didn't realise it was opening day when I put on my San Francisco Giants 2012 World Series Champions shirt.
It was my only clean shirt that fits properly though.
It's my birthday tomorrow.
I am in love ;D
Quote from: radsi on March 31, 2014, 03:53:51 PM
I am in love ;D
You should probably see a therapist about that. :P >:-)
Quote from: piglet smith on March 31, 2014, 04:37:12 PM
You should probably see a therapist about that. :P >:-)
hahahahaha yeah I think I need to !!!! lol
Happy birthday Edge! :icon_birthday:
Thanks for the birthday wishes!
I had a dream I really enjoyed last night. However, my interactions with one of the other characters in the dream and how I felt about it makes me wonder things.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.30yearoldninja.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F12%2FRock-Hard-Place.jpg&hash=d7eb9a8683a58ea9dea3e68e530e88fb5b352140)
wtf am I still up?
Quote from: Edge on March 31, 2014, 03:21:10 PM
It's my birthday tomorrow.
happy birthday
Happy Birthday Victor... assuming you aren't pulling an April Fool's prank on us. :-\
@edge
happy birthday :)
Quote from: Djynne on April 01, 2014, 10:26:06 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.30yearoldninja.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F12%2FRock-Hard-Place.jpg&hash=d7eb9a8683a58ea9dea3e68e530e88fb5b352140)
Thats my life right now
edit : btw I would rename the rock as being a girl the hard place as being a guy and me as being an androgynous hybrid :/
Thanks for the birthday wishes.
Quote from: Djynne on April 02, 2014, 12:36:04 AM
Happy Birthday Victor... assuming you aren't pulling an April Fool's prank on us. :-\
I hear something similar to that almost every time I tell someone when my birthday is. It got really old really fast.
Am I already getting to the point where additional age includes being cynical and generally annoyed about basically everything that didn't exist when I was younger?
Considering I'm only 24, I must have a lovely future ahead of me.
I was having an EEG yesterday(thursday/darn timezones) and the tech saw what meds I was on and so I said I was trans and they were supportive and even was giving me advice when it comes to picking a surgeon for GCS, it helped me to relax during the EEG so that helped. They also said they had had classmates that were trans, so they understood it all.
I'm late, but, happy birthday Victor! :icon_birthday:
.66 cents closer to top surgery....WOOP WOOP!
And that isn't sarcasm. I truly am happy. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time? How do you pay for top surgery? You chip away at it one cent at a time. :)
Quote from: Malachite on April 02, 2014, 05:27:11 PM
.66 cents closer to top surgery....WOOP WOOP!
And that isn't sarcasm. I truly am happy. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time? How do you pay for top surgery? You chip away at it one cent at a time. :)
My brother managed to save up enough money for an x-box before got a job by saving up change he found.
Thanks, Caleb.
I am realizing that the way I was socialized is affecting how I socialize now. Namely, I'm afraid of asking my friends if they want to hang out sometime because I'm afraid I'll come across as creepy/asking them out (which is the same as creepy).
I am also thinking about the difference in how I react to certain things and other people react to the same things. It seems to be very different.
Quote from: Malachite on April 02, 2014, 05:27:11 PM
.66 cents closer to top surgery....WOOP WOOP!
And that isn't sarcasm. I truly am happy. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time? How do you pay for top surgery? You chip away at it one cent at a time. :)
Way to go Malachite! :)
Quote from: Edge on April 02, 2014, 05:59:02 PM
My brother managed to save up enough money for an x-box before got a job by saving up change he found.
When my cat broke my PS2, I brought a new one with the change I had. :) I hated that cat.....
Quote from: Shantel on April 02, 2014, 05:59:48 PM
Way to go Malachite! :)
Thanks!!!!! :) I came into an extra .24 cents which made me super happy!!!! D
Quote from: Edge on April 02, 2014, 05:38:39 AM
Thanks for the birthday wishes.
I hear something similar to that almost every time I tell someone when my birthday is. It got really old really fast.
Sorry to be a broken record. I get it.
I couldn't have anticipated how, despite having a long-standing and relatively common name for a white middle-class guy, NO ONE can ever seem to get it right. It's far from the worst problem to have but it's gotten to the point where even saying my own name is annoying for me. Lol.
I'm pretty sure I want to start going by my middle name. Problem is, it's more bad ass than I am. -_-
Quote from: birkin on April 02, 2014, 09:57:19 PM
I couldn't have anticipated how, despite having a long-standing and relatively common name for a white middle-class guy, NO ONE can ever seem to get it right. It's far from the worst problem to have but it's gotten to the point where even saying my own name is annoying for me. Lol.
I'm pretty sure I want to start going by my middle name. Problem is, it's more bad ass than I am. -_-
What?
Quote from: Edge on April 02, 2014, 10:06:00 PM
What?
Hm? Lol. Do you mean my post didn't make much sense...? Or are you as baffled as I am that people are completely perplexed by a name such as Caleb?
About the "Högskoleprov" on saturday. If I nail it I can get into every course at university level in every subject here in Sweden.
I wonder what my first job is going to be.
Quote from: 930310 on April 03, 2014, 03:43:54 AM
About the "Högskoleprov" on saturday. If I nail it I can get into every course at university level in every subject here in Sweden.
Just thinking how I find it kinda funny I actually think I understand the word "högskoleprov". :D I guess the little Swedish studies I've had weren't completely for nothing.
Quote from: 930310 on April 03, 2014, 03:43:54 AM
About the "Högskoleprov" on saturday. If I nail it I can get into every course at university level in every subject here in Sweden.
I hope you do well on your aptitude testing 8) Kind of a bummer that you have to do it on a Saturday though
Quote from: birkin on April 02, 2014, 11:02:05 PM
Hm? Lol. Do you mean my post didn't make much sense...? Or are you as baffled as I am that people are completely perplexed by a name such as Caleb?
Why are people completely perplexed by the name Caleb? I can understand not knowing if it's spelt with a K or a C, but it's not the least bit confusing.
Also, what's your middle name?
I'm thinking about going back to my old name, big head horsey-face. It was oddly comforting.
Quote from: piglet smith on April 03, 2014, 11:08:07 AM
I'm thinking about going back to my old name, big head horsey-face. It was oddly comforting.
Jaime Renee, you are such a riot! :D
This new Pepsi Next might be healthier option than the regular or the sugar-free version but damn it tastes like ****.
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 08:30:53 AM
Why are people completely perplexed by the name Caleb? I can understand not knowing if it's spelt with a K or a C, but it's not the least bit confusing.
Also, what's your middle name?
I'll PM you the middle name. :)
I don't get what's so hard either. I mean, it's not "foreign." But so many people go "oh, I've never heard that name before!" One person told me it sounded like an "East Indian" name lol. I honestly believed it was a common enough name, you go to those places that sell keychains or whatever with names on it, Caleb is almost always there.
Quote from: Shantel on April 03, 2014, 11:11:31 AM
Jaime Renee, you are such a riot! :D
I prefer the term "eccentric." :D
Quote from: Tossu-sama on April 03, 2014, 02:06:44 PM
This new Pepsi Next might be healthier option than the regular or the sugar-free version but damn it tastes like ****.
Water beats Soda Pop any day of the week.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on April 03, 2014, 05:53:51 PM
I prefer the term "eccentric." :D
I've been referred to as eccentric too, let's form a club!
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 03, 2014, 06:04:51 PM
Water beats Soda Pop any day of the week.
Every now and then yes but I'm somewhat addicted to the taste of cola drinks. |D
Quote from: birkin on April 03, 2014, 05:14:45 PM
"oh, I've never heard that name before!"
Evidently, they aren't fans of William Steig
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_V7QrQf_eXT0%2FTQHTf05D6qI%2FAAAAAAAABhY%2FQ3rdwfZCZrA%2Fs1600%2FCaleb%252Band%252BKate.jpg&hash=7ec56a358a0279ba86c1c81cf694bdaddfd0298b)
Quote from: birkin on April 03, 2014, 05:14:45 PM
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 08:30:53 AM
Why are people completely perplexed by the name Caleb? I can understand not knowing if it's spelt with a K or a C, but it's not the least bit confusing.
Also, what's your middle name?
I'll PM you the middle name. :)
Add me to the list! :laugh:
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 03, 2014, 06:04:51 PM
Quote from: Tossu-sama on April 03, 2014, 02:06:44 PM
This new Pepsi Next might be healthier option than the regular or the sugar-free version but damn it tastes like ****.
Water beats Soda Pop any day of the week.
Yeah, I'm pretty dependent on my water. If I don't have a glass of water next to me, I start getting nervous. Like there's a drought or something.
Quote from: Djynne on April 03, 2014, 06:56:09 PM
Evidently, they aren't fans of William Steig
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_V7QrQf_eXT0%2FTQHTf05D6qI%2FAAAAAAAABhY%2FQ3rdwfZCZrA%2Fs1600%2FCaleb%252Band%252BKate.jpg&hash=7ec56a358a0279ba86c1c81cf694bdaddfd0298b)
LOL. What's more messed up is that Kate is my old name.
Quote from: FA on April 03, 2014, 06:58:06 PM
Water beats Soda Pop any day of the week.
Yeah, I'm pretty dependent on my water. If I don't have a glass of water next to me, I start getting nervous. Like there's a drought or something.
Yeah me too, I like to have a few belts in the evening, it like coffee in the morning is a diuretic, I need to rehydrate during the day or risk turning into a prune and or having some rather nasty leg cramps at night. Water is life sustaining, it's good for you popaholics.
why do i have this constant urge to keep my legs closed. #O.O#
Quote from: Emo on April 03, 2014, 08:03:10 PM
why do i have this constant urge to keep my legs closed. #O.O#
Is it because you are practicing wearing a mini skirt and know that nice girls don't sit spraddle legged in skirts?
I'm disappointed that my Australian-made toilet doesn't flush in reverse.
Its not really on purpose tho thats a good idea, but its just a really weird feeling i get and just close my legs because of it. And Its a big feeling right now.
i feel like im gonna cry...
Quote from: Emo on April 03, 2014, 08:37:26 PM
i feel like im gonna cry...
Why?
I am wondering how to cut out what is left of my heart.
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 08:47:25 PM
Why?
I am wondering how to cut out what is left of my heart.
A guy i liked started talking to me again like nothing happened after not talking to me for a week after i told him i was trans. He claims he was at a friends house. And that his phone died... For a week. :/
That's possible. It's also possible he needed time to process what you told him. I understand it sucks though. I go weeks without talking to the person I like and think I'll be fine and then I see him again and it's back to square one.
For a second, I thought this laptop had kicked the bucket. I couldn't get it to come on for about ten minutes. Then, it started up like normal. It IS getting old but I don't really want it to croak at this point in time. I don't have the money to buy a new one.
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 09:18:18 PM
That's possible. It's also possible he needed time to process what you told him. I understand it sucks though. I go weeks without talking to the person I like and think I'll be fine and then I see him again and it's back to square one.
Well considering i went through another depression because of it.. He had asked me out then disappeared after i told him
Really? How did he react?
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 09:52:59 PM
Really? How did he react?
I didnt tell him
About going into depression i mean
No, I mean how did he react to you being trans?
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 10:18:12 PM
No, I mean how did he react to you being trans?
he didnt say anything for a week then he comes back and says he doesnt care. so now im confused. he obviously isnt going to ask me out again cuz he didnt even remember he did.. or at least didnt bring it up at all.....
im saying too much personal stuff on the forums arent i? >.>
It's enough annoying that only National Geographic airs Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey in Finland so I have to watch it online because I'm not gonna pay to get that channel because of one show but to deal with Fox's website is even more annoying. We have a great internet connection and it takes a small eternity to load a video. >_>
Quote from: Emo on April 03, 2014, 10:21:07 PM
he didnt say anything for a week then he comes back and says he doesnt care. so now im confused. he obviously isnt going to ask me out again cuz he didnt even remember he did.. or at least didnt bring it up at all.....
im saying too much personal stuff on the forums arent i? >.>
That's what this place is for. Well, sort of. It is a support forum.
What would happen if you were to ask him out? Clearly he likes you.
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 10:49:39 PM
That's what this place is for. Well, sort of. It is a support forum.
What would happen if you were to ask him out? Clearly he likes you.
cuz i dont know if i want to be with him anymore. i got over him already, i dont want to have to do it all over again... ive been through that before. very unpleasant.
You got over him in a week?
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 11:09:49 PM
You got over him in a week?
We didnt know each other that long.
Huh. I wish it was that easy for me. Then again, maybe if it was, I'd care about people easier as well and I'd prefer not to care about anyone at all.
Quote from: Edge on April 03, 2014, 11:14:55 PM
Huh. I wish it was that easy for me. Then again, maybe if it was, I'd care about people easier as well and I'd prefer not to care about anyone at all.
Its not always that easy. I took me months to get over my last relationship, and before that it took several years.
I think that the above conversation is sad and I hope everything works out for you.
Quote from: 930310 on April 04, 2014, 03:54:59 AM
I think that the above conversation is sad and I hope everything works out for you.
Thank you.
I know i seem depressing sometimes but i always know it will get better.
Well from the few experiences I have with relationships I know that if you are not feeling something anymore then there isnt any reason to do anything...
Quote from: FalsePrincess on April 04, 2014, 05:11:45 AM
Well from the few experiences I have with relationships I know that if you are not feeling something anymore then there isnt any reason to do anything...
I dont know why that statement confuses me... But i agree. :3
my favorite weedeater has a bad gear thingy in the end, so had to use the backup which leaks fuel and is one of those useless curvy shafts. But got the trimming done, now to get a bath and let my muscles relax from all the vibration the horrible curvy shaft has. Gonna have to save up for a good straight shaft weedeater now.
I'm thinking I have 2 days before appointment with plastic surgeon for facial surgery, face & neck lift, maybe more. She is very professional, tons of happy women patients. I hope her proposal is decent $ wise & I'm going to write her a check to commit for this improvement for myself & my face. I have a nice soft feminine face however my skin needs tightened up to look better & younger.
I'm writing down every single cent my mother borrows from me from now one. I had earlier but lost the paper, so I could have lost a lot of money, but not anymore.
OK, so I have these 2 pet peeves that frequently happen around here and they drive me bonkers.
"Prolly" is not a word. Please stop. You all know who you are.
Don't use "loose" when you really mean "lose".
The next offender will get tied up with silly string while the Monty Python foot comes down and pummels them.
That is all. ;)
Quote from: Jill F on April 04, 2014, 05:36:27 PM
OK, so I have these 2 pet peeves that frequently happen around here and they drive me bonkers.
"Prolly" is not a word. Please stop. You all know who you are.
Don't use "loose" when you really mean "lose".
The next offender will get tied up with silly string while the Monty Python foot comes down and pummels them.
That is all. ;)
Lol. I have used "prolly" and I won't even lie, it is sheer laziness.
However, I share your hatred of "loose."
Quote from: Jill F on April 04, 2014, 05:36:27 PM
OK, so I have these 2 pet peeves that frequently happen around here and they drive me bonkers.
"Prolly" is not a word. Please stop. You all know who you are.
Don't use "loose" when you really mean "lose".
The next offender will get tied up with silly string while the Monty Python foot comes down and pummels them.
That is all. ;)
You prolly shouldn't loose your cool over silly stuff like that.
*grabs silly string*
Quote from: big head horsey-face on April 04, 2014, 06:11:54 PM
You prolly shouldn't loose your cool over silly stuff like that.
LOL.
I probabibly shud lurn tu shpelll.
I'm prolly too loose with some of my spellings at times
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tickld.com%2Fcdn_image_content%2F3781.jpg&hash=d9bafe04b213f47ab5122409042f942fb7e1752e)
Wie hav sum reel gud spellars hear.
The current state of this thread (http://youtu.be/npjOSLCR2hE?t=5m7s)
Prescriptivists, all o' yous!
Sometimes, I think the reason I want friends is because other people help pull me out of my head and ground me even if they don't know it.
Quote from: Jill F on April 04, 2014, 05:36:27 PM
The next offender will get tied up with silly string while the Monty Python foot comes down and pummels them.
That is all. ;)
I don't want to loose your friendship over this but I prolly will, so when can we get together and get smashed with the Python foot? I make really good Manhattan's and Cosmopolitans, would you prolly rather go that route and get reel lose and goofy together?
Young Xbox hackster!
http://www.digitaltrends.com/gaming/xbox-live-password-hack-outed-5-year-old-criminal-mastermind/#!CRpwu
yall beet me too tha prolly loose thing
I forgot what I was thinking.
I really hate the name "tomboy" now but I haven't figured out what I want my new name to be. I never use my real name so it needs to be something different. Hmmmm
Quote from: tomboy on April 05, 2014, 01:48:05 PM
I forgot what I was thinking.
I really hate the name "tomboy" now but I haven't figured out what I want my new name to be. I never use my real name so it needs to be something different. Hmmmm
You could always just go by Tom. :)
I'm thinking about how best to capture emoticons using x-bar syntax.
I want to take some martial arts classes and I found a place in my city that offers the kind I want (close enough anyway), but I can't take them because my schedule is restricted by school and my son.
I miss Calder. I wonder where he is at.
I also miss Chaos. :(
Quote from: Shantel on April 05, 2014, 01:13:15 PM
Young Xbox hackster!
http://www.digitaltrends.com/gaming/xbox-live-password-hack-outed-5-year-old-criminal-mastermind/#!CRpwu
That's whack. lol.
Quote from: Djynne on April 05, 2014, 01:58:30 PM
You could always just go by Tom. :)
well that's a sensible solution but I have bad associations with that name
My dad bought a ton of shampoo and soap. I am very pleased with this.
I was looking at some naked torso photos from a slightly bulked up guy at badoo, and I was like... "He would look damn sexy ironing clothes like that"
/me Looks at pile of unironed clothing
I feel like intellectually, I live in such a weird grey area that no one else seems to occupy. For my degree I read a lot of the work of "rad fems" and while I don't agree with everything they say, I agree with some of what they say. They make a lot of very valid critiques of the trans community, and of how transsexuality is understood and dealt with in our society. At the same time, they use these critiques as a way to write off the existence and validity of transsexuality entirely, which I think is too much of a stretch.
Really, I think I see their critiques as a critique of the "identity model" of transsexualism. Some have touched on the "medical model" but not well enough for me to really respond to their ideas. Sheila Jeffreys is releasing (or just very recently released) a new book called "Gender Hurts" and I'm pretty sure I'm going to read it.
I'm also thinking about how this is a debate I'd really like to get involved in. I'm not satisfied with a lot of the literature that is out there on trans issues, as the vast majority is based on the "identity model" - either using it to valorize transness or to discount it all together. I think both are harmful to the trans community. I have the resources to give input...I know a number of people who are editors for top journals, I have access to academic journals for free (comes with my university enrollment, gives me a stronger bibliography), and some other things...
Problem is, it took YEARS before I could escape the "trans box" and I'll be damned if I put myself back in there. I suppose I could approach this in a less formal way, make like an anonymous blog but still write it as an academic...plus, how many people who aren't drenched in liberal postmodern university politics will actually read an academic journal entry?
What's the "identity model?"
I don't have a set definition for it yet, mostly because a lot of trans people say they "identify" as male/female simply because there's not really any other terms to describe how they feel. I would say that, as of now, my definition of the 'identity model' would be the idea that you don't need body dysphoria to be trans. According to the 'identity model', all you have to do is 'identify' with the gender roles of your target gender to be trans. Or hate being your birth sex because you don't like how men/women are treated. Perhaps transitioning for political reasons would fall underneath the identity model too.
There's something called FTM Fitness Annual Conference or somthing like that and it's coming up in October in Atlanta. Gosh that looks like a good conference to attend.
Apparently the caterpillar basically dies in the process of metamorphosis:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/08/01/157718428/are-butterflies-two-different-animals-in-one-the-death-and-resurrection-theory
Just thought id put that out there..
Quote from: jussmoi4nao on April 07, 2014, 06:20:45 PM
Apparently the caterpillar basically dies in the process of metamorphosis:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/08/01/157718428/are-butterflies-two-different-animals-in-one-the-death-and-resurrection-theory
Just thought id put that out there..
That's actually rather fascinating.
Quote from: jussmoi4nao on April 07, 2014, 06:20:45 PM
Apparently the caterpillar basically dies in the process of metamorphosis:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/08/01/157718428/are-butterflies-two-different-animals-in-one-the-death-and-resurrection-theory
Just thought id put that out there..
Pretty apropos to transition!
Quote from: jussmoi4nao on April 07, 2014, 06:40:47 PM
Yeesh to both of you, agreed^
But omg in other news, my mom wrote a note on the fridge saying "take paper box to the basement" and I misread it cuz she wrote the X weirdd and thought it said "take paper BOY to the basement" and I literally freaked out for a second ahaha. Oh my god, sorry that was scary for a sec, not even gona lie.
Your paper boy might get lucky! ;D
Quote from: Abbyxo on April 07, 2014, 06:20:45 PMApparently the caterpillar basically dies in the process of metamorphosis:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/08/01/157718428/are-butterflies-two-different-animals-in-one-the-death-and-resurrection-theory
Just thought id put that out there..
Remniscent of the strobilation of Scyphozoa and Cubozoa polyps.
I'm so fungry right now. I need to drop 15 pounds and this is what happens.
Quote from: birkin on April 07, 2014, 05:14:06 PM
I don't have a set definition for it yet, mostly because a lot of trans people say they "identify" as male/female simply because there's not really any other terms to describe how they feel. I would say that, as of now, my definition of the 'identity model' would be the idea that you don't need body dysphoria to be trans. According to the 'identity model', all you have to do is 'identify' with the gender roles of your target gender to be trans. Or hate being your birth sex because you don't like how men/women are treated. Perhaps transitioning for political reasons would fall underneath the identity model too.
Ah. That sounds like a really bad idea. I agree with you on that being harmful for the trans community.
Sometimes, I feel like the only person who actually cares about science.
why the #$@#$% am I still up?
and I don't think I want to be a caterpillar. I'd rather be like a tadpole turning into a frog. You lose bits and grow bits but at your core you are the same.
With that thought, I am going to bed.
no more caffeine in the afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, this time I really am going to bed. really.
I just read the dumbest headline.
Shooting Reported At Shooting Range
*facepalm*
In other news, bowling reported at a bowling alley, water is wet and the sky is blue. Film at 11.
Wait, nevermind...
Quote from: Jill F on April 08, 2014, 02:06:45 AM
I just read the dumbest headline.
Shooting Reported At Shooting Range
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"ah, ambiguity.
I have this small. plastic bubbl gum machine with a pack of bubble gum balls to put in there. I''m debating i I should sell it online, or just give it to my nephw for iethr his birthday for for Christmas. The small profit I could make from those items can b put in my top surgery fund, but if I keep it, that means can save money from my regular money savings and not hav to buy him anything.
Hmmm 2 dollars profit in my surgry fund or $5-$6 savings in my regular savings. I think I'll just hang on to it, but idk.
Quote from: tomboy on April 08, 2014, 12:21:10 AM
why the #$@#$% am I still up?
and I don't think I want to be a caterpillar. I'd rather be like a tadpole turning into a frog. You lose bits and grow bits but at your core you are the same.
With that thought, I am going to bed.
And then there's the caterpillar that becomes a frog. :-\
Woo! 12:34... now I can sleep.
Stopping smoking & this time for good. I've had enough & it is time to 100% quit & never inhale nasty smoke into my lungs again. Eating away on baby carrots, working in my garden some, beautiful day for exercise & to be outside.
Quote from: Edge on April 07, 2014, 08:11:23 PM
Ah. That sounds like a really bad idea. I agree with you on that being harmful for the trans community.
Sometimes, I feel like the only person who actually cares about science.
Well, people think when you say GD is a medical condition, it means you're saying it's a "mental disorder." =/ I think a big part of the problem is that disease is very moralized, so calling something "medical" makes it a dirty word. It's a very uncritical response. Plus, these same people want medical insurance to cover hormones, and surgery, for what they say is not a medical condition? Doesn't work that way. lol.
---
In other news, I've decided to give myself a birthday present. There's a Metallica shirt I've wanted for months, and I'm going for it. But they only have Large...I may be Extra Large... -_- I'll have to check against their sizing chart. If I can't get the one I want, I'll get a Master of Puppets in XL.
...and the Metallica website doesn't work. After I inputted everything, it won't process the order. Haha. -_- Oh well.
UGH, so not in the mood for the leftovers tonight nor the quiet night at home. What was I thinking?
I wonder if my wife would prefer to have "date night" instead and see a movie. I think I've been stuck in the house too long.
My son is currently obsessed with (American) football. At eight, I think he's going to soon surpass me in knowledge of the sport.
I have an amazing mom.
Quote from: radsi on April 09, 2014, 04:48:32 AM
I have an exam 2moro.. all about cancer, CT/MRI scans and physics....
my head is full .. it is rebelling against taking anymore knowledge in and just wants to think about chocolate cake and junk food.
Oh my. Good luck GF
Quote from: birkin on April 08, 2014, 04:59:28 PM
Well, people think when you say GD is a medical condition, it means you're saying it's a "mental disorder." =/ I think a big part of the problem is that disease is very moralized, so calling something "medical" makes it a dirty word. It's a very uncritical response. Plus, these same people want medical insurance to cover hormones, and surgery, for what they say is not a medical condition? Doesn't work that way. lol.
Society's stigmatization of all things medical as "problems" is the root of the problem here. I resolve the tension by acknowledging that we have a medical condition, while categorizing that condition as
medical diversity rather than a medical problem.
Hmmm. Thinking about cheeseburgers. Damn diet.
The hanging worms are starting to come out.
You know what that means....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WD0AMDvi-o
It's time for me to get obessed over those cute critters. THEY ARE SO ADORABLE!
Quote from: Malachite on April 09, 2014, 12:16:20 PM
The hanging worms are starting to come out.
You know what that means....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WD0AMDvi-o
It's time for me to get obessed over those cute critters. THEY ARE SO ADORABLE!
I don't get it. :laugh:
Quote from: FA on April 09, 2014, 12:22:15 PM
I don't get it. :laugh:
The sad thing is....neither do I.
-_- There's no room in the recycling for my stuff this week, meaning my room is full of crap. I wouldn't mind, except for my family putting tons of crap in the bin that CANNOT be recycled and is straight up trash. Part of me wants to say "f it" and just throw my recycling in the garbage can which still has space, but that seems so wasteful...
two and two are four, four and four are eight, eight and eight are sixteen......
great, now that's stuck in my head.
Pork products are delicious. Get in mah belly, little piggies.
*snacks on one more piece of bacon*
Damn you, progesterone!
Quote from: big head horsey-face on April 09, 2014, 06:08:02 PM
two and two are four, four and four are eight, eight and eight are sixteen......
great, now that's stuck in my head.
It could be something much worse like this....
Blinded by the light,
Wrapped up like a noose another rumor in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder,
feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin',
sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Manfred Mann - Blinded By The Light Lyrics | Have another duber! :icon_ballbounce:
Quote from: Shantel on April 09, 2014, 06:36:18 PM
It could be something much worse like this....
Blinded by the light,
Wrapped up like a noose another rumor in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder,
feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin',
sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Manfred Mann - Blinded By The Light Lyrics | Have another duber! :icon_ballbounce:
Damn you! AAARGHHH!
Wait, it isn't "Wrapped up like a douche"?
*shoves ice pick in ear*
Paying $195 for this laptop speakdesk tommorrow. I hate that Best Buy discontinued it, so it's overpriced but the speakers are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it. I wish I had gotten the deal when it was $145 a few days ago with another seller before someone else got it, but I was banking on bidding for another one for cheaper. Too bad I feel asleep and missed that bid so now I have to pay for it, both metaphorically financially. I guess compared to the prices on Amazon and even some of the prices on Ebay, $195 isn't too bad. It's still a bit pricey though. Hopefully, I can sell the damaged one I have to at least get some of the money back from the other purchase.
lol, I remember listening to that song on the way home the other day.
Quote from: Shantel on April 09, 2014, 06:36:18 PM
revved up like a deuce
I always thought they were saying "douche". :D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 09, 2014, 06:42:18 PM
I always thought they were saying "douche". :D
Sounds like it, amazing how drugs affected these musicians!
Quote from: Jill F on April 09, 2014, 06:39:53 PM
Damn you! AAARGHHH!
Wait, it isn't "Wrapped up like a douche"?
*shoves ice pick in ear*
Deuce was a street term alluding to the devil. Blinded by the light was in lieu of how we say being blown away alluding once again to Saul of Tarsus being blinded by the light on the road to Damascus, the rest of it is just a lot of druggie mumbo jumbo.
I'm trying hard to finally have one life. Nice meeting with plastic surgeon on a face, neck lift, upper & lower eye work & chemical peel for a nice face. She will not work on me unless I 100% stop any cigarette smoke. Bought Ecigs, they work great, no longer want any tobacco. Taking my HRT & adding more friends as Francis Ann. Eeveryone is supporative & I have some very close women friends that are "holding my hand" as I try my best to join them. More electrolysis to remove more damn facial hair, it hurts but has to be done. That's what I'm thinking.
Quote from: FrancisAnn on April 09, 2014, 07:19:05 PM
I'm trying hard to finally have one life. Nice meeting with plastic surgeon on a face, neck lift, upper & lower eye work & chemical peel for a nice face. She will not work on me unless I 100% stop any cigarette smoke. Bought Ecigs, they work great, no longer want any tobacco. Taking my HRT & adding more friends as Francis Ann. Eeveryone is supporative & I have some very close women friends that are "holding my hand" as I try my best to join them. More electrolysis to remove more damn facial hair, it hurts but has to be done. That's what I'm thinking.
Good for you honey, my surgeon was pleased that I quite smoking back in 1976, the big concern is the horrific damage that nicotine does to one's skin because it tends to collapse the capillaries that brings blood and oxygen to nourish skin cells. I once worked for the game department where we used "Capture" guns to immobilize dangerous wild animals in residential areas. The dart was loaded with nicotine sulfate which collapsed the animal's vascular system and caused them to pass out. I saw a video where nicotine was injected into the very visible veins on the underside of a rabbit's ear, you could see it collapse. Nicotine not only kills the outer skin on your face but can set you up for a bad clot if your on HRT. This should give you all the incentive you and anyone else would need to quit right away! Keep in mind that the tobacco companies don't care if it kills you as long as they can profit off of you up until your death.
I know it's a very bad habit. I do/did not smoke much & knew the surgeon would tell me to stop 100%. Part of the reason I visited. The Ecigs are very light & maybe I can stop them in time.
Quote from: Liam Erik on April 09, 2014, 07:56:28 PM
Had a really, really awful day of hormonal imbalance on the last day before shot day. Anxiety up through the roof, old self-harm and suicidal ideation thoughts turning over in my brain, too much emotion for no reason, which is suffocating. I almost cried today after watching a show I'm invested in kill off a character who was a complete *sshole anyway. How stupid is that? I can't believe I used to feel this way or worse all the time. It makes me angry at how irresponsible and ridiculous it is that so many other people can't get their godd*mn medical treatment at all hardly.
Hang in there hon, it'll get better! Don't kill anyone, they're probably not worth going to prison over anyway.
I only had one reference of my old self on the Internet...soon, with the help of my ex (a mod on the forum I was on), she will be gone off the net entirely.
Though of course this led me to go through old posts...I remember telling all my online guy friends that I was doing this. A few were really great, but some were very unsupportive and honestly pretty mean. I'd talk about something not trans related and they'd go "men don't do that." "Men don't say that." I'm so glad that this part of my life is behind me now, that - providing no one outs me without my consent - I can actually just be "normal" again.
jfc this makes me wish I hadn't dragged out the girl thing for so long. I honestly made things so much harder for myself, I should have taken action instead of sitting around thinking "time" (i.e., years of wasted, miserable life) would actually make my family accept it.
Quote from: Shantel on April 09, 2014, 06:36:18 PM
It could be something much worse like this....
Blinded by the light,
Wrapped up like a noose another rumor in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder,
feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin',
sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Manfred Mann - Blinded By The Light Lyrics | Have another duber! :icon_ballbounce:
you are evil
and yeah, it's not douche although I heard an interview with the guy (drawing a blank on his name) and he said he was so drunk he had no idea what he was singing
I'm thinking "The Douchewrappers" would be a good band name now. Or not.
Scary thing that the drummer on "Blinded by the Light" played with Jimmy Page, AC/DC and even people I've played with. Ugh, I'm 2 degrees of jam from that one.
Why do i try?
Three hours and I wrote a solid 6 pages for my thesis.
I am so close I can actually literally taste it. Aaaargh. I imagine I will need about 20 more pages or so. Of course, after that, I have a lot of editing, bibliography organizing, along with a few more authors to add, but oh my Jesus. When this is done I will be such a happy man.
Am sat at uni in a room all alone freakin out about my exam in 20 minutes and cursing the fact that i am special so have to sit it in a room on my own. My classmates are the otherside of campus able to freak out together lol
Quote from: birkin on April 10, 2014, 02:30:57 AM
Three hours and I wrote a solid 6 pages for my thesis.
I am so close I can actually literally taste it. Aaaargh. I imagine I will need about 20 more pages or so. Of course, after that, I have a lot of editing, bibliography organizing, along with a few more authors to add, but oh my Jesus. When this is done I will be such a happy man.
Good luck dude! You can do it :)
Quote from: birkin on April 10, 2014, 02:30:57 AM
Three hours and I wrote a solid 6 pages for my thesis.
I am so close I can actually literally taste it. Aaaargh. I imagine I will need about 20 more pages or so. Of course, after that, I have a lot of editing, bibliography organizing, along with a few more authors to add, but oh my Jesus. When this is done I will be such a happy man.
I agree.You can do it! :)
Yeah, I'm thinking that even if I get my license, I'm not going to drive out of state to get hormones. I'm just going to hire a professional driver for that or just take a taxi. Gosh that is going to be expensive, but I just can't make that drive. I'll just have to add that extra expese into the budget. Perhaps I can find a trans-friendly doctor closer one day. Gosh for my wallet's sake I hope so.
What a little mess I'm in.
Talk is scheduled with plastic surgeon's office today. I must tell them I'm taking full strenght HRT. They want my doctor's OK for surgery however my local doc in a very small town has no idea I'm taking HRT. So I have to ask them to find a new doc for me to meet & one that is supportative of mtF patients. Then a physical, blood tests, etc.. to maybe receive his/her approval for facial plastic surgery.
I need a new doc anyway to help with HRT levels so maybe it will all work out. I sure hope so.
Quote from: radsi on April 10, 2014, 03:12:33 AM
Good luck dude! You can do it :)
Quote from: Malachite on April 10, 2014, 03:15:13 AM
I agree.You can do it! :)
Thanks guys! :) Had a meeting today about the thesis and now I am exhausted because I woke up earlier than my sleeping patterns would prefer...
Quote from: birkin on April 10, 2014, 02:30:57 AM
Three hours and I wrote a solid 6 pages for my thesis.
I am so close I can actually literally taste it. Aaaargh. I imagine I will need about 20 more pages or so. Of course, after that, I have a lot of editing, bibliography organizing, along with a few more authors to add, but oh my Jesus. When this is done I will be such a happy man.
Hey - hey! :eusa_clap:
Someone added me in Skype, no idea who he is but the first thing he asks is if I'm FTM. :s Well, he's offline now but since I'm a realistic pessimist, I have this feeling he might be some creep... I hope I'm wrong.
But I'm so not gonna answer any questions about the contents of my pants.
I'm cold again? this is inasne
Congress is the opposite of progress.
I can't tell if I can picture myself living in Montana or not. I am considering applying for a job out there, but I don't want to apply, get it, move out there and then have complete culture shot and a mental breakdown.
you can always tell when I'm sick because my computer time jumps way up
and the next random thought...
it just occurred to me the seder is going to be loaded with gluten. what the heck am I going to do about that?
Quote from: Tossu-sama on April 10, 2014, 07:47:57 PM
Someone added me in Skype, no idea who he is but the first thing he asks is if I'm FTM. :s Well, he's offline now but since I'm a realistic pessimist, I have this feeling he might be some creep... I hope I'm wrong.
But I'm so not gonna answer any questions about the contents of my pants.
That DEFINITELY reeks of creep. I'd block him, especially since you have no clue who he is.
Quote from: birkin on April 11, 2014, 12:16:31 AM
That DEFINITELY reeks of creep. I'd block him, especially since you have no clue who he is.
Haha, I'm not paranoid then. :D Well I'm going to give him ONE chance and if he blows it, then it's buh-bye not gonna talk to you. I'm not some fetish object some random creepo can f*p to.
Do i go out or do I sleep?
thinking this article posted in "Science and Medical News" is very cool!
Lab-grown vaginas have been successfully implanted in four women
When do I get my lab grown penis? lol they need to hurry up with that.
Quote from: Malachite on April 11, 2014, 10:29:01 AM
When do I get my lab grown penis? lol they need to hurry up with that.
Lab grown vaginas are a sign of female privilege in today's society! There's a company known as "Wang lab" :D ;D :laugh:
Wang lab?? That's awesome
Quote from: Malachite on April 11, 2014, 10:29:01 AM
When do I get my lab grown penis? lol they need to hurry up with that.
I want one!
Yes us guys need a Wang Lab!
Quote from: Malachite on April 11, 2014, 10:46:30 AM
Yes us guys need a Wang Lab!
Years ago there was a carpenter in the local news who had been sawing a board when the saw bucked backward and whacked off his penis. EMT's packed it in ice and it was successfully reattached at a local hospital. Some of the guys had to make jokes about sending the poor fellow to Wang Lab which is really an electronics firm. Now you have the rest of the story! ;D
I'm trying to think of a more coherent way to say insides/soul/mind/etc without making it sound overly flowery or as corny as soul, but without being misinterpreted as internal organs.
What would you (everyone) look like if your outside looked like your insides? I want to know. I wish I could see.
Its my birthday and I feel really really really crappy. Set aside I hate getting older, this was my suicide deadline. Yeah I know its stupid, and I'm not going to kill myself. I just felt so ->-bleeped-<-ty 6 mos ago and I was hoping things would have improved. They have in some ways but they've changed more than anything. Still bad just different, but at least its better in a lot of ways I guess than it was 6 months ago
I just want to get drunk and cut and listen to some hard music and forget about the world today and pretend like its not even my birthday.
Quote from: Edge on April 11, 2014, 09:39:55 PM
I'm trying to think of a more coherent way to say insides/soul/mind/etc without making it sound overly flowery or as corny as soul, but without being misinterpreted as internal organs.
What would you (everyone) look like if your outside looked like your insides? I want to know. I wish I could see.
Essence?
Quote from: Abbyxo on April 11, 2014, 11:20:01 PM
Its my birthday and I feel really really really crappy. Set aside I hate getting older, this was my suicide deadline. Yeah I know its stupid, and I'm not going to kill myself. I just felt so ->-bleeped-<-ty 6 mos ago and I was hoping things would have improved. They have in some ways but they've changed more than anything. Still bad just different, but at least its better in a lot of ways I guess than it was 6 months ago
I just want to get drunk and cut and listen to some hard music and forget about the world today and pretend like its not even my birthday.
Essence?
Well as you you don't seem to be a fan of your birthday and getting older, I will instead wish you a very happy year full of changes and excitement before your next birthday rolls around!
Quote from: Shantel on April 11, 2014, 11:12:51 AM
Years ago there was a carpenter in the local news who had been sawing a board when the saw bucked backward and whacked off his penis. EMT's packed it in ice and it was successfully reattached at a local hospital. Some of the guys had to make jokes about sending the poor fellow to Wang Lab which is really an electronics firm. Now you have the rest of the story! ;D
LOL!
About all appointments I have in school and all the books I have to read. I've read about 2000+ pages just this week.
Debating if I should go to a free football game with the boys at church today. I don't have long to make up my mind.
Quote from: Malachite on April 12, 2014, 12:33:44 PM
Debating if I should go to a free football game with the boys at church today. I don't have long to make up my mind.
Why not?
Quote from: Abbyxo on April 11, 2014, 11:20:01 PM
Set aside I hate getting older, this was my suicide deadline.
Make a new deadline. When that deadline comes up, make a new one. And so on and so forth.
Quote from: Abbyxo on April 11, 2014, 11:20:01 PMEssence?
Sort of, but that's a little too vague for me. I mean more like personality/minds/souls. Oh. Personality is good. Thanks.
Quote from: birkin on April 12, 2014, 03:38:11 PM
Why not?
I went to get out of the house and away from my mother. I was the only "girl" on the trip lol, but I had a good time. It was very hot though. I did get to talk to an 11 year old who went as well and he is from NY, the place I want to move so I asked him a bunch of questions of how it is like up there, lol.
No wastoid! Yer not gonna blaze up in here!
Friggin Portia. Will she ever learn?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FRandom%2520Pics%2520n%2520Stuff%2F987bafb6-c59e-4d37-9ce1-7e73e60e3d45.jpg&hash=2c96bb22cac0d5b50c1ba3f46ed214bf58669c00)
I am so freaking tired
Quote from: Edge on April 12, 2014, 05:23:25 PM
Make a new deadline. When that deadline comes up, make a new one. And so on and so forth.
Exactly this. That got me through a couple years until things started truly improving.
I was reading the thread where someone was talking about how some jerk called them a '->-bleeped-<-' and this song came to mind. To me, it is the perfect way to look at the situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgk1yhp40wc
About how much my headache annoys me. I'm so tired right now and it's all because of studying so darn much.
I think I'm going to eat a can of pumpkin pie filling...
I think that people are crazy if they try to eat anything involving pumpkins. I've always heard that everyone loves it, then I tried and it was one of the worst things I've ever tasted!
pumpkin pie , thats the stuff !
:D
I should probably go to bed but I'm not tired and totally in a good mood. Maybe plug the guitar in and just listen on headphones?
I'm thinking I want to play with some reggae tonight. I've found it's easiest to play when you're not totally high on herb.
Kinda stressed out and just hoping I can make it through this month
I wonder if Marvel ever included the story where Loki eats a witch's heart in their version.
I love pumpkin
do I try water aerobics tomorrow? gah. I don't know. I want to but my back was so bad today. And can I do it and still make hand therapy? yes. hmm...
by the way, I've had various forms of physical therapy in my life and the hand therapy is by far the most painful. except for the parafin (sp?) bath. that is awesome.
I also want to work on the plumbing and it's my first day off. so.. no water aerobics.
errr... that's probably too much of what I'm thinking. lol. g'night Susan's place
Damn it, time move faster. I want to see the blood moon tonight.
(My only thoughts deal with that.)
Quote from: ReaverMarcus on April 15, 2014, 12:14:04 AM
Damn it, time move faster. I want to see the blood moon tonight.
(My only thoughts deal with that.)
Will it be visable everywhere?
Quote from: FalsePrincess on April 15, 2014, 12:40:36 AM
Will it be visable everywhere?
As far as I know, I'm in Fl and the report was in an LA paper. I am gonna go outside soonish but laptops are amazing things.
Mostly just North America. I wanna see it too but it decided to snow here so ya... :'(
My church is taking a trip to Myrtle Beach in two days and my nephew wants me to go. I really don't want to go since it's going to be rainey. My sister says if I pay $40 I can go and stay in her room,but have to sleep on the floor. My nephew and I played a Japanese version of roc paper scissors and if he won I would go, but if I won, I'd stay. I won and he started to cry because he wanted me to go. I just brought some laptop speakers for $195 and a mouse for $12.95 and I have to probably buy a phone charger, I just don't see how I can justify spending an extra $40 on a trip I don't want to go on. especially since it's going to be rainy. The trip would be three days and 2 nights. I'm not sure on what I should do. It would be nice to get out of the house and be with my nephew (who says that I don't even have to bring my PSP), but on the other....it's $40 minimum. I just don't know if I should b spending my money like that, especially since I don't have a job and I'm saving for top surgery. Decisions decisions.
Plus I really don't feel like being around many of those teenagers, but nephew told me just to ignore them and if they bother me then he will stand up for me. My nephew is so adorable. I don't have long to decide though....
Dammit, a guy I know from him coming to the store regularly told me that I was naturally pretty today. I started to fuss at him about it, but then just decided to thank him and let it go. I don't know why, but compliments about my looks makes me feel weird and brings up some anxiety about being trans.
Quote from: piglet smith on April 15, 2014, 06:41:27 PM
Dammit, a guy I know from him coming to the store regularly told me that I was naturally pretty today. I started to fuss at him about it, but then just decided to thank him and let it go. I don't know why, but compliments about my looks makes me feel weird and brings up some anxiety about being trans.
You need to get over it honey, you are pretty. Perhaps you need a little professional help with your feelings about that.
Sending happy vibes FA's way.
Cheeseburger!!
ME!!!!
It's time to go bra shopping today. I want something softer & more comfortable. Little B cups are sensitive & growing.
what is wrong with me today?
Not feeling good, obviously not good, likely because this is the end of the semester and things are breaking down.
I really **really** need to make a list before I go back to Walmart. If I'm going to survive these next few days, hunkering down to make more kandi might be the only way and I really need more supplies. Ugh, kill me.
WHY do I have to reference my essay .. I bet they never read the references anyway...
Also why do I always leave things to last minute when I always say I wont haha
It is also currently 547am and I am eating ice cream
Quote from: radsi on April 16, 2014, 11:47:53 PM
WHY do I have to reference my essay .. I bet they never read the references anyway...
Also why do I always leave things to last minute when I always say I wont haha
It is also currently 547am and I am eating ice cream
Yes they do. ;)
I can't believe tomorrow is my doctor appointment.
I can't believe I could be starting T soon
Quote from: Gwendolyn Mia Jennell (Gwynne) on April 16, 2014, 11:48:41 PM
Yes they do. ;)
Oh god don't tell me that :( I can't even run it thro the plagiarism checker as it was due last week for everyone else but I get an extra week as I'm special ;) and they have disabled it :(
grrrrr
I will deal with it after more ice cream! Haha
Quote from: radsi on April 17, 2014, 12:07:19 AM
Oh god don't tell me that :( I can't even run it thro the plagiarism checker as it was due last week for everyone else but I get an extra week as I'm special ;) and they have disabled it :(
grrrrr
I will deal with it after more ice cream! Haha
Now I feel guilty.
Maybe it would be better to say that it really depends on the prof (or TA) marking the paper. Some won't look at references at all. Some will look to see that you're listing quality references, but not worry too much about how you're using them. Others will look over your referencing with a fine-toothed comb.
Rule of thumb: the likelihood of close scrutiny is proportional to the year of the program and inversely proportional to the size of the class.
Quote from: Gwendolyn Mia Jennell (Gwynne) on April 17, 2014, 12:22:43 AM
Now I feel guilty.
Haha dont feel guilty lol. I think i need to stop eating ice cream, messing round on here n generally avoiding my work n just get it done lol
Plus if i do my referencing properly they might not notice that i have completely made some stuff up haha
Are you a tutor by any chance? Better not be one of mine! Lol
Quote from: christopher on April 17, 2014, 12:05:48 AM
I can't believe tomorrow is my doctor appointment.
I can't believe I could be starting T soon
Good luck dude!!
Quote from: radsi on April 17, 2014, 12:32:47 AM
Good luck dude!!
Thank you!
And good luck on your paper. And ice cream always helps. lol
Quote from: radsi on April 17, 2014, 12:32:17 AM
Are you a tutor by any chance? Better not be one of mine! Lol
No no, my TA days are thankfully behind me :P
Best of luck.
I really hope I can take a dump before I have to go on this trip.
I'm thinking how happy I am with life right now. Should be starting hormones soon, I have a truly amazing significant other that makes my life even better. I'm finally not stressing out over money constantly. I'm just happy.
Quote from: TheLance on April 17, 2014, 11:14:27 AM
I'm thinking how happy I am with life right now. Should be starting hormones soon, I have a truly amazing significant other that makes my life even better. I'm finally not stressing out over money constantly. I'm just happy.
As it should be, kudos!
Quote from: TheLance on April 17, 2014, 11:14:27 AM
I'm thinking how happy I am with life right now. Should be starting hormones soon, I have a truly amazing significant other that makes my life even better. I'm finally not stressing out over money constantly. I'm just happy.
:D good on you, Hastatus!
I wish I was there with him right now. Knowing he's in pain and I can't help him is killing me.
I'm in Myrtle Beach right now. Just came back from the beach and pretended to be a busty blonde jogging. It was nice.
Plastic surgeon visit tomorrow, excited. Hope he can recommend a new physician if I need a physical before facial surgery. I live in a rural area & too many people talk. I'm sure the women at my local doctors would love to tell people I'm having a face lift.
Quote from: FrancisAnn on April 17, 2014, 07:31:11 PM
Plastic surgeon visit tomorrow, excited. Hope he can recommend a new physician if I need a physical before facial surgery. I live in a rural area & too many people talk. I'm sure the women at my local doctors would love to tell people I'm having a face lift.
I had considered moving to a small rural town but backed out realizing that I'd be the talk of the town and would have no privacy whatsoever.
Quote from: Malachite on April 17, 2014, 07:09:51 PM
I'm in Myrtle Beach right now. Just came back from the beach and pretended to be a busty blonde jogging. It was nice.
What? lol
Quote from: birkin on April 17, 2014, 08:31:28 PM
What? lol
Lol I thought it would be a sexy thing to do. I have always kind of wanted to do that.
Lol! OK then. I can see why that would be a fun fantasy, come to think of it.
Should I go blond?
Quote from: Jill F on April 17, 2014, 08:47:33 PM
Should I go blond?
You should get an inverted mohawk.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 17, 2014, 08:52:44 PM
You should get an inverted mohawk.
Is that like a trepanning? :-\
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-kh_YxzRBjS8%2FTls-gzX4DQI%2FAAAAAAAAAwk%2Fvmav4UHFLog%2Fs320%2FTREPANNING.jpg&hash=ba32bdd14aae264887256673d738a4307aeca574)
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 17, 2014, 08:52:44 PM
You should get an inverted mohawk.
That will definitely make me pass as a douchebag. No thanks- been there, done that!
Quote from: birkin on April 17, 2014, 08:43:29 PM
Lol! OK then. I can see why that would be a fun fantasy, come to think of it.
Haha, for once I actually wanted a bigger bust....
Quote from: Malachite on April 17, 2014, 07:09:51 PM
I'm in Myrtle Beach right now. Just came back from the beach and pretended to be a busty blonde jogging. It was nice.
Mr. Malachite! Is that my bikini? Put that right back! ;D
I wish I could stop myself procrastinating and study for my midterms, but I don't want to...
Ever just remember the most random crap?
My mind went to high school, religious studies, talking about suicide... where I had a teacher who said to a girl "what would you do if you broke up with your boyfriend and he threatened to kill himself? What would you say?" Her response "Do it. I dare you." Needless to say he was pretty horrified, but when you think about it, it shows you that she is not willing to put up with emotional blackmail.
Children of Bodom may be becoming my favourite band. It is also the favourite band of my ex. Awkward.
Also, I feel a little late to the party, but I used not to be as into metal as I am now.
Quote from: birkin on April 18, 2014, 06:10:05 PM
Ever just remember the most random crap?
My mind went to high school, religious studies, talking about suicide... where I had a teacher who said to a girl "what would you do if you broke up with your boyfriend and he threatened to kill himself? What would you say?" Her response "Do it. I dare you." Needless to say he was pretty horrified, but when you think about it, it shows you that she is not willing to put up with emotional blackmail.
I had a friend try this once. I told her to go tell it to Camus. :-\
I'm thinking today was a very special day for me. A nice visit with a local plastic surgeon & a very pleasant price for a neck & face lift including upper eye lid work. I was so pleased with them I gave them a nice deposit on the surgery. Almost as important was that they were all so nice to me & so looked forward to helping me have a more feminine & younger face & life. They said to continue to pour on the estrogen, it is very good for you. I let all of them know that I was trying my best to correct my body into a complete female body & again they were very supportive & thought I already looked nice & that I was certainly a nice woman to talk with. This very qualified plastic surgeon can perform all types of other body surgery if the needed later. Their office is only 40 minutes away & it seems great for them & myself.
Quote from: Edge on April 18, 2014, 06:13:35 PM
Children of Bodom may be becoming my favourite band. It is also the favourite band of my ex. Awkward.
Also, I feel a little late to the party, but I used not to be as into metal as I am now.
COB are pretty awesome.
edit: check out the band Hypocrisy if you haven't already. I'd go for "The Arrival" album first.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 17, 2014, 10:10:51 PM
Mr. Malachite! Is that my bikini? Put that right back! ;D
But it was so cute!!!!
Quote from: Malachite on April 17, 2014, 07:09:51 PM
I'm in Myrtle Beach right now. Just came back from the beach and pretended to be a busty blonde jogging. It was nice.
For some strange reason my mind instantly went to Nicki Minaj in her blonde motif. Is that you Malachite? Geeze hon you fooled me and had me scared for a sec. :D ;D :laugh:
Quote from: Shantel on April 18, 2014, 08:27:40 PM
For some strange reason my mind instantly went to Nicki Minaj in her blonde motif. Is that you Malachite? Geeze hon you fooled me and had me scared for a sec. :D ;D :laugh:
Haha, well I do happen to make my rounds in that costume ever now and then.... :D
Quote from: birkin on April 18, 2014, 07:17:31 PM
COB are pretty awesome.
edit: check out the band Hypocrisy if you haven't already. I'd go for "The Arrival" album first.
I will in the morning. Thanks!
I think I ran out of room on my ipod again.
Quote from: birkin on April 18, 2014, 07:17:31 PM
check out the band Hypocrisy if you haven't already. I'd go for "The Arrival" album first.
Hypocrisy is pretty good. Even though I've only listened to a handful of tracks since I heard them back in 1992 on the "Death Is Just The Beginning, Volume Two" compilation, I've liked every song that I've heard. I decided to pull them up on Spotify and jam to them for a bit.
I wonder if T had any effect on my change of opinion on "the growly thing." I used not to like that style of vocals. Soon after starting T, I like them just fine (hence the re-getting into metal stuff). Or maybe it was just a coincidence.
Quote from: Edge on April 18, 2014, 11:10:27 PM
I wonder if T had any effect on my change of opinion on "the growly thing." I used not to like that style of vocals. Soon after starting T, I like them just fine (hence the re-getting into metal stuff). Or maybe it was just a coincidence.
Ehhhh, I doubt that T had anything to do with that. Perhaps it had to do with a natural evolution in your listening preferences. I've never stopped liking that style since I heard Napalm Death for the first time back in the middle of December of 1990. It was either the 8th or the 15th because I remember it being before the Christmas break.
The only time that I ever got out of something was back in 06 or 07 when I got bored with Noise and I didn't listen to it or play it for quite awhile. I got back into it in 09 and it's been full steam ahead ever since.
Quote from: Edge on April 18, 2014, 11:10:27 PM
I wonder if T had any effect on my change of opinion on "the growly thing." I used not to like that style of vocals. Soon after starting T, I like them just fine (hence the re-getting into metal stuff). Or maybe it was just a coincidence.
Hm, could be hormones but I'm more inclined to think it's a coincidence. I didn't get into that kid of vocals until I was about 15 or 16. I find following metal songs, mentally, and appreciating them is much different from songs that we hear more often. They flow differently and are structured differently. Can't explain exactly how, in technical terms, but there's a very different mindset you have to be in when listening to metal.
Quote from: birkin on April 18, 2014, 11:31:59 PM
there's a very different mindset you have to be in when listening to metal.
Hmmmm, I don't know about that. I can go from Impetigo, to Elton John, to A.C., to King Missile, to Carcass to more mellow My Dying Bride material, to Godflesh and anything and everything in between all within in an hour if I feel like it.
To clarify, metal is the genre I hear the most often and have since high school. If one does need a different mindset, how come it waited to click in now as opposed to when I was hanging out with metalheads and their music 24/7?
Also, although I preferred bands without "the growly thing," metal has been my favourite music genre since high school and bands without the growly vocals have the same structure and flow of the music.
Edit: I checked out Hypocrisy and like them. Then I found out one of them has an industrial metal project, checked that out, and like that too. Thanks!
I have definitely run out of room on my ipod.
I've heard multiple times from my brothers that my dad makes fun of my degree to them...or my job hunt success (lack thereof). I'm probably going to have to work a job I am overqualified for because of my surgeries, I can't really get on the career path right now when I plan to have two surgeries within a year's time.
I vented to my mom in the car about it. She said what I (and my brothers) suspect all along...my dad is just so unhappy with his job, and insecure in his intelligence and success, that he needs to put down his children to feel better about himself. My mom said I should be proud of the work I have put in for my degree and that it doesn't matter even if I don't make a ton of money, because the person who is happy is the one who is successful, not someone who is unhappy and makes a lot of money.
So I figure, if every single person I talk to knows that it's my dad who has the issue, and not me, why should I take anything he says personally or even care about his opinion? Everyone who knows him and knows us can clearly see that he is the one who is taking his issues out on me.
I wish this would just end
Quote from: birkin on April 19, 2014, 06:09:04 PM
I've heard multiple times from my brothers that my dad makes fun of my degree to them...or my job hunt success (lack thereof). I'm probably going to have to work a job I am overqualified for because of my surgeries, I can't really get on the career path right now when I plan to have two surgeries within a year's time.
I vented to my mom in the car about it. She said what I (and my brothers) suspect all along...my dad is just so unhappy with his job, and insecure in his intelligence and success, that he needs to put down his children to feel better about himself. My mom said I should be proud of the work I have put in for my degree and that it doesn't matter even if I don't make a ton of money, because the person who is happy is the one who is successful, not someone who is unhappy and makes a lot of money.
So I figure, if every single person I talk to knows that it's my dad who has the issue, and not me, why should I take anything he says personally or even care about his opinion? Everyone who knows him and knows us can clearly see that he is the one who is taking his issues out on me.
It's a shame that he's so insecure and lacking self esteem that he has to browbeat you over it. This is one of the ways some parents teach their kids on how not to be when they reach adulthood, we can learn positive things from those negative messages that our parents send us at times, you will never emulate his example in your own life. Your dad may not even see himself like you and your mother are so able to. He probably loves you very much and is completely unaware of what an insensitive and emotionally unavailable human being he has become. You can feel hurt and miserable about it or you can mentally forgive him and realize that he's just another imperfect human being with weaknesses and failings. Take heart in the fact that you won't be under his roof forever anyway hon.
maybe a nap will help?
Quote from: Edge on April 19, 2014, 08:09:08 AM
To clarify, metal is the genre I hear the most often and have since high school. If one does need a different mindset, how come it waited to click in now as opposed to when I was hanging out with metalheads and their music 24/7?
Also, although I preferred bands without "the growly thing," metal has been my favourite music genre since high school and bands without the growly vocals have the same structure and flow of the music.
I think it's more of a gradual evolution. It really isn't any more complex than that. When I listen to Autopsy, A.C., Carcass, etc, it doesn't make me think a different way. Some people think that it's supposed to be "angry" "uuurrgh" and all of that stupid cliched crap. But to me, it's just all music at the end of the day. It makes me happy, I enjoy it and that is all there is to it. I don't put on Carcass and want to "smash stuff" ::) I don't put on My Dying Bride and cry my eyes out.
You get the point.
Thank you Sephirah. It's just been one of those days.
"I wish this would just end, too"
I hadn't checked my email because I didn't expect lab results already. Everything came back good and my "cholesterol is great!" So, no medical reason to not take T. I also had her pay special attention to my iron since that's been an issue for me. That was good. I'm feeling kind of proud. Especially after a day like today. I really am leaving the eating disorder behind. I'm actually healthy.
And with that, I am going to bed because I already should have gone to bed
.... heh, my cat just triggered siri on the phone. I wonder what he wanted to do.
Too much caffeine? Probably. Feeling antsy and strange, not in a bad way mind. I just need to move a little hahaha. It's been a good night. Hope everyone has a fantastic Easter
About to log off for the day to spend time with my family. Happy Easter, everyone!
Body clock is alternating between New Zealand and West Europe times. Not good for a girl on the US' east coast.
I need to pump myself full of tea and other caffeinated beverages to survive for the next 12 hours or more. Which is an issue since I developed somewhat of a caffeine addiction/tolerance, making it difficult for me to actually get much benefit out of caffeine besides just surviving.
I have 10 more days to smoke a few cigarettes if I want. Cold day is April 30th to stop 100%. Plastic surgery scheduled for June 10th & my body has to be clean of any nasty tobacco stuff.
sleep deprived. She sure is vocal when she's miserable. If she's not better by tomorrow we go to the vet.
Good morning Susan's.
Quote from: Pikachu on April 20, 2014, 05:54:16 AM
About to log off for the day to spend time with my family. Happy Easter, everyone!
Yes Happy Easter and Happy Passover!
I think I was accidentally offensive and didn't mean to be. This guy came to our door (randomly, i may add) saying he wanted to buy a phone that we were selling. So I was like "sure let me get my brother for you, he does the selling" and closed the door on him. :| I wasn't thinking. I guess my brother did the same when he came up and then went downstairs to find the phone. I realized that a) no matter who he was I should have invited him inside and b) he happened to be black, and I was hoping that it didn't seem like "oh yes we're not going to let the black man in our house." I just remember how it feels when people acted weird and/or uncomfortable around me because I looked different (i.e., lesbian and/or gender non-conforming = pervert), and I wouldn't want to make anyone else feel that way. Hopefully he didn't think we were thinking along those lines. I wasn't uncomfortable because he was black, I just have no manners.
Quote from: birkin on April 20, 2014, 09:49:33 PM
I think I was accidentally offensive and didn't mean to be. This guy came to our door (randomly, i may add) saying he wanted to buy a phone that we were selling. So I was like "sure let me get my brother for you, he does the selling" and closed the door on him. :| I wasn't thinking. I guess my brother did the same when he came up and then went downstairs to find the phone. I realized that a) no matter who he was I should have invited him inside and b) he happened to be black, and I was hoping that it didn't seem like "oh yes we're not going to let the black man in our house." I just remember how it feels when people acted weird and/or uncomfortable around me because I looked different (i.e., lesbian and/or gender non-conforming = pervert), and I wouldn't want to make anyone else feel that way. Hopefully he didn't think we were thinking along those lines. I wasn't uncomfortable because he was black, I just have no manners.
Would you feel better if I spank you for being so naughty? :icon_poke: :icon_hahano:
my current thoughts:
alright so I have 9/30 shots finished for my final uni film and with X amount of time left I can do Y amount each day as long as I focus but *trails off*
also: thinking of going on holiday, mostly to try some new martial arts for a month or so, and really cant decide where to go
Quote from: birkin on April 20, 2014, 09:49:33 PM
I think I was accidentally offensive and didn't mean to be. This guy came to our door (randomly, i may add) saying he wanted to buy a phone that we were selling. So I was like "sure let me get my brother for you, he does the selling" and closed the door on him. :| I wasn't thinking. I guess my brother did the same when he came up and then went downstairs to find the phone. I realized that a) no matter who he was I should have invited him inside and b) he happened to be black, and I was hoping that it didn't seem like "oh yes we're not going to let the black man in our house." I just remember how it feels when people acted weird and/or uncomfortable around me because I looked different (i.e., lesbian and/or gender non-conforming = pervert), and I wouldn't want to make anyone else feel that way. Hopefully he didn't think we were thinking along those lines. I wasn't uncomfortable because he was black, I just have no manners.
Unless he's actually someone your brother knows, you did right by not letting him in. Whether he was black, white, rainbow. You can never be too careful.
Quote from: FA on April 21, 2014, 09:55:22 AM
Unless he's actually someone your brother knows, you did right by not letting him in. Whether he was black, white, rainbow. You can never be too careful.
So true, I'd say amen to that!
Quote from: FA on April 21, 2014, 09:55:22 AM
Unless he's actually someone your brother knows, you did right by not letting him in. Whether he was black, white, rainbow. You can never be too careful.
^ This
Not only that, I would have locked the door too....
Quote from: Malachite on April 21, 2014, 11:52:39 AM
^ This
Not only that, I would have locked the door too....
More than a few have been murdered advertising valuables on Craigslist and letting strangers come to their homes, not a good plan!
Quote from: Shantel on April 21, 2014, 12:36:18 PM
More than a few have been murdered advertising valuables on Craigslist and letting strangers come to their homes, not a good plan!
So true, Shan! I've heard too many horror stories like this. The other thing that happens is that someone offers a very expensive item for a price that is too good to be true, you go somewhere with a fat wad of cash and you get beaten or killed for it.
I stopped dealing with Craigslist over valuables because of stuff like this. Also I have a lot of nice stuff at my house and I don't want some sketchy random stranger person inventorying it. Sometimes I'll offer something for free and just leave it outside for them to take.
One time I told someone to meet me at a very public place to buy a guitar from me, and he refused saying, "It's not like this is a drug deal or something, why not just do it at your place?" Umm, hell no! This is why I prefer eBay.
What I was thinking is that when people feel threatened by someone else's sexuality, they actually feel threatened by their own.
I don't see myself selling my unwanted possessions anywhere other than ebay.
i am feeling very close to a major mental breakdown. i am constantly feeling threatened and anxious. I am forgetting things all over the place. I shout at people for no real reason.I am constantly switching between feeling just okay and extremely depressed and angry at two people who screwed up my life earlier this year. My mind feels so crowded right now and i am afraid of everything.
Quote from: Shantel on April 21, 2014, 12:36:18 PM
More than a few have been murdered advertising valuables on Craigslist and letting strangers come to their homes, not a good plan!
...even up here in friendly, unarmed, apologetic Canada, eh?
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/millard-to-be-charged-with-first-degree-murder-of-tim-bosma/article11907415/
Quote from: Shantel on April 21, 2014, 12:36:18 PM
More than a few have been murdered advertising valuables on Craigslist and letting strangers come to their homes, not a good plan!
Nope not at all. In all my years of selling on Craigslist, only one person has been to my house, and even then, they stayed in the car.
Well the creepy part was that my brother never gave him our address. We're pretty sure we know how he found us, lol, but it was kind of rattling.
In any case, glad to know others didn't think what I did was weird/rude because it definitely wasn't my intention.
Good and bad people come in all different colours, if something feels sketchy about a situation it is best to trust your instincts imo
Did some major reorganizing in my room...like beyond my usual "clean" because cleaning never seems to last long. I'm going through all my old papers and doing a ton of shredding atm, it is supremely satisfying.
I'm thinking next I need to get rid of clothes I never wear and stop convincing myself that one day I'll magically like them again.
After that, probably some video game purging since I have a ton of old PS games I haven't played.
Quote from: birkin on April 21, 2014, 06:48:51 PM
Did some major reorganizing in my room...like beyond my usual "clean" because cleaning never seems to last long. I'm going through all my old papers and doing a ton of shredding atm, it is supremely satisfying.
I'm thinking next I need to get rid of clothes I never wear and stop convincing myself that one day I'll magically like them again.
After that, probably some video game purging since I have a ton of old PS games I haven't played.
I sense major cash-making in the process. ;D
Quote from: Jill F on April 21, 2014, 02:18:45 PM
So true, Shan! I've heard too many horror stories like this. The other thing that happens is that someone offers a very expensive item for a price that is too good to be true, you go somewhere with a fat wad of cash and you get beaten or killed for it.
I stopped dealing with Craigslist over valuables because of stuff like this. Also I have a lot of nice stuff at my house and I don't want some sketchy random stranger person inventorying it. Sometimes I'll offer something for free and just leave it outside for them to take.
One time I told someone to meet me at a very public place to buy a guitar from me, and he refused saying, "It's not like this is a drug deal or something, why not just do it at your place?" Umm, hell no! This is why I prefer eBay.
What I was thinking is that when people feel threatened by someone else's sexuality, they actually feel threatened by their own.
Just a couple of years ago a man just north of me posted a man's diamond ring for sale on Craigslist, two men and a woman showed up and shot him in the face killing him and beat his spouse severely.
Quote from: Shantel on April 21, 2014, 07:01:42 PM
Just a couple of years ago a man just north of me posted a man's diamond ring for sale on Craigslist, two men and a woman showed up and shot him in the face killing him and beat his spouse severely.
OK, aaand I'm off Craigslist forever now, even for freebies. I also learned the hard way that it's not the place to look for band members either. You always seem to find the major freaks that way. Trust me, if
I think you're a freak, it speaks volumes about you.
Some jerkface is driving up and down my street in a very loud dually truck with monster wheels that has been jacked up to the stratosphere. I'm guessing he might be overcompensating for something.
Quote from: Jill F on April 21, 2014, 07:12:31 PM
OK, aaand I'm off Craigslist forever now, even for freebies. I also learned the hard way that it's not the place to look for band members either. You always seem to find the major freaks that way. Trust me, if I think you're a freak, it speaks volumes about you.
Some jerkface is driving up and down my street in a very loud dually truck with monster wheels that has been jacked up to the stratosphere. I'm guessing he might be overcompensating for something.
He must be having his he-man moment! ;D
why is it smelling like pickles in my room and why am i still up. oh right, the caffeine and the long sleep.
I want to start hormones first, but I don't have the funds or the appropriate insurance to help me stay on those for the long haul. It's just easier to get my top surgery done first.
Elephant Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTQrlDzqUCA
Quote from: V M on April 23, 2014, 05:46:49 AM
Elephant Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTQrlDzqUCA
I might have some experiences with two of the people in this band.
My routine has always been to do absolutely everything the night before - get clothes ready, work, etc. And I'd always leave the house right away in the morning but feel incredibly grumpy on the train. So I assumed that yesterday, when I had to wake up early to work on some stuff and whatnot, that I'd feel grumpier. But actually, I felt happier for it and wasn't grumpy, and had an awesome day. I was pretty surprised. I guess I don't know myself as well as I thought.
In other news I'll be making a few bucks this week...tomorrow I'm waking up early to dethatch the lawn, suck up the dead dirt and leaves at home. And then next week, providing my grandpa doesn't spontaneously change his mind as he tends to do, I'll be doing the same for his lawn and getting paid. Not as good as a job finally calling back, but eh, take what you can get. Any extra goes towards my chest fund.
Run errands which are really an excuse to go on a two hour long walk or stay home?
Maybe after the orchi I'll call my next band Neuterhead. I just wonder which letter will sport the gratuitous umlaut.
Quote from: Jill F on April 24, 2014, 03:40:27 PM
Maybe after the orchi I'll call my next band Neuterhead. I just wonder which letter will sport the gratuitous umlaut.
LOL. :laugh:
Thanks to an awesome person here, there is apparantly an endo about 30 miles from me that will work with transguys. When/if I'm ever finanially stable enough to go on hormone, I'm going to check him out (sometime after top surgery-if I can ever afford it). It's not informed consent that I know of, but by that time, I will already have a letter of reccomedation due to my top surgeon needing one. Gosh I hope I can find a job soon!
Ugh, just got outbid on a purple Stratocaster on eBay by ten measly dollars! I thought it was all mine. Boooo!!!
Quote from: Jill F on April 24, 2014, 05:18:59 PM
Ugh, just got outbid on a purple Stratocaster on eBay by ten measly dollars! I thought it was all mine. Boooo!!!
This is why I like the "Buy It Now" option. I think I've only bought a couple of things (cassettes) via the "auction" method.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 24, 2014, 05:26:08 PM
This is why I like the "Buy It Now" option. I think I've only bought a couple of things (cassettes) via the "auction" method.
Believe me, I would have done that if it was an option. This was a straight no-reserve auction and I just got schooled at the last second.
Oh well, one of these days I'll find that same guitar again. No bigs, I have like 12 Strats scattered about the house.
Quote from: Jill F on April 24, 2014, 05:33:57 PM
Believe me, I would have done that if it was an option. This was a straight no-reserve auction and I just got schooled at the last second.
Oh well, one of these days I'll find that same guitar again. No bigs, I have like 12 Strats scattered about the house.
You have as many Strats as I do Dotty & Portia items. :D
Guitars can be addictive 8) But I'm happy with the few I have left
Wait, I do need to invest in a decent quality acoustic at some point in time
No such thing as too many guitars.
Quote from: Jill F on April 24, 2014, 06:23:46 PM
No such thing as too many guitars.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcf.chucklesnetwork.com%2Fitems%2F5%2F7%2F2%2F0%2F4%2Foriginal%2Fone-does-not-simply-have-too-many-guitars.jpg&hash=42ae6bcf23febe80f0f972b4e117e9504af08579)
;D
Super depressed over my progress over the past year.
Sometimes I think my car is mocking me every time I turn on the ignition and the SRS light comes on.
Not cool, Honda, not cool.
I wouldn't mind getting a cheap electric lap steel guitar for Noise stuff.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 24, 2014, 07:45:18 PM
I wouldn't mind getting a cheap electric lap steel guitar for Noise stuff.
I had a friend in college who did exactly that. He also got a really craptastic bass with unpotted microphonic pickups and yelled into them. Of course nobody I knew wanted to listen to it.
If I want to make trippy noises, I have a vintage Korg Poly 61 analog synth. It's great for UFO noises and the like.
Quote from: Jill F on April 24, 2014, 07:55:05 PM
I had a friend in college who did exactly that. He also got a really craptastic bass with unpotted microphonic pickups and yelled into them. Of course nobody I knew wanted to listen to it.
If I want to make trippy noises, I have a vintage Korg Poly 61 analog synth. It's great for UFO noises and the like.
One of my cousins had an old lap steel (he probably sold it for crack later on. I had to throw him out twice over that crap. He never was stupid enough to steal from me, though. He knew I was too crazy to attempt anything stupid with me.) Anyways...I would use the lap steel for really harsh slide guitar noise and I would record that on my (now long gone) cassette 4 track. I would then layer distorted screaming and feedback over the top of that. It was a lot of fun. But eventually, I sold all of the equipment off once I got burnt out on it. Plus, it took up way too much room. I have a keyboard that I can't really play but I've used it for Harsh Noise, Ambient and this really whacked out Grind/Noise stuff where I basically just beat the thing to death on the "Grand Piano" setting while screaming and growling my lungs out over the top of it. I leave the music to the musicians. :D
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 24, 2014, 08:36:38 PM
One of my cousins had an old lap steel (he probably sold it for crack later on. I had to throw him out twice over that crap. He never was stupid enough to steal from me, though. He knew I was too crazy to attempt anything stupid with me.) Anyways...I would use the lap steel for really harsh slide guitar noise and I would record that on my (now long gone) cassette 4 track. I would then layer distorted screaming and feedback over the top of that. It was a lot of fun. But eventually, I sold all of the equipment off once I got burnt out on it. Plus, it took up way too much room. I have a keyboard that I can't really play but I've used it for Harsh Noise, Ambient and this really whacked out Grind/Noise stuff where I basically just beat the thing to death on the "Grand Piano" setting while screaming and growling my lungs out over the top of it. I leave the music to the musicians. :D
i once used a cassette recorder connected to an echo-device with a nice delay on it and turned on the monitor function and let it feedback to get some trippy noises out of it and recorded that on tape and digitized it or just captured the raw signal digitally. During the time where i frequently did this my best friend always yelled at me to "cut that out! it's hurting my ears!". It didn't hurt mine, but we all hear things differently. I also liked doing sound collages. I did some really stupid ones. One of my favorite effects is the backwards echo and of course the step-filter. I also played an ipad-keyboard (through GarageBand), through my effects unit fed through my amp. I got some trippy sounds out of it, which was good as i was listening to some Manfred Mann and i wanted to emulate that sound at least a bit.
I just want my period to hurry up and come so I don't have to worry about it for another 28 days.
I'm realizing that I have 5 days until I can start HRT and everything is going smoothly and I have nothing to worry over or feel anxious about... And THAT makes me worry.
Wish I could invite myself to things, it's really annoying. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of or ignored.
that stress reliever kit on the wall sure looks good about now......
Mobile home parks laws are ridiculous. You have less rights in a mobile home park than you do if you so to a hotel. I should be able to protect my property from the landlord as much as he wants to protect his from frozen water pipes.
I told my mother that I'm sad and depressed because of the job market and economy and how I'm putting in for many places, but with no luck. She told me not to worry about it because she isn't going to kick me out and that "mommy loves you", but if she really knew why I want a job (to get top surgery and eventually start my transition), I wonder if she would still be saying that. I don't know....probably not.
Crimson is so not my color.
The more I think of it, the more I realize that I have spent most of my life trying (and failing) to be normal. I did instinctively without really consciously being aware that I was doing it, but there are so many things where I think "why did I do that?" and the automatic answer that comes to me is "because I thought I was supposed to."
Goofy thoughts that won't make sense to anyone else.
I apologize in advance for this being all feely. For some reason, today, I feel more lo- er, fondness than normal. I can't figure out why. It's not like I've seen him around, spent ay time with him, or had any good conversations aside from a bit of small talk recently.
Oh, I'm doing that unhelpful thing where I keep on imagining a better life and end up doing nothing to actually get it.
why do start screwing up licks as soon as i hit record. it's something i can't control. i start feeling insecure and before i know it, i drift away from the music.
Quote from: Kimberley Beauregard on April 25, 2014, 04:38:40 PM
Oh, I'm doing that unhelpful thing where I keep on imagining a better life and end up doing nothing to actually get it.
Well imagining is the first part, you just need to move from there to the planning phase.
I'd better get up to the store and pick up my pain med.s before the pharmacy closes but it's crap weather outside :P Oh well, I'll just have to bundle up
Quote from: Malachite on April 25, 2014, 02:52:59 PM
I told my mother that I'm sad and depressed because of the job market and economy and how I'm putting in for many places, but with no luck. She told me not to worry about it because she isn't going to kick me out and that "mommy loves you", but if she really knew why I want a job (to get top surgery and eventually start my transition), I wonder if she would still be saying that. I don't know....probably not.
Aww, that is really very sweet of her though.
I wish I was more organized. I have this huge stack of papers that belong in my flie cabinet and I need to find my legal documents in it. I guess I have to do some filing.
I really wish I had a beer to drink right now. And a slice of pizza.
Quote from: Jill F on April 25, 2014, 06:55:44 PM
I wish I was more organized. I have this huge stack of papers that belong in my flie cabinet and I need to find my legal documents in it. I guess I have to do some filing.
I really wish I had a beer to drink right now. And a slice of pizza.
I share these same wishes for myself. Pizza would be amazing right now.
My papers are all in a box lol completely scattered. I threw a ton away the other day, but I still have some I could get rid of.
Quote from: birkin on April 25, 2014, 06:21:21 PM
Aww, that is really very sweet of her though.
Yeah she can be a sweetheart when she wants to I suppose. I know she would want me to get a job (or school actually), but I guess she doesn't want to see me sad on this.
Unfortunately there's no cure for stupidity.
is he a maine coon cat? sort of sounds like one
oh crap.... what was I thinking :o I forgot
Maybe he just likes you and feels comfortable there?
Trying to understand myself and thinking out loud. When I come on this forum, I legitimately want to help other people. For whatever reason, I really care about what they say and feel. And I really want to be part of the solution and help them. I care deeply and want to make a difference, even on this little forum. Part of me thinks I can really be there for someone and even help them in some way. Despite all of this, I have to admit that I'm a mess myself. I don't know how to help myself, and I struggle quite often to get where I want to be. How can I really help others if I can't help myself? Who am I to offer support and advice? And why is it that I seem to care about other people (their lives and problems) more than I do my own? What does this really say about me? As much as I probably should shut up and stop offering support or advice to others, I can't help but care about other people. I want to be here, offer support and try to help, but why can't I do the same for myself? Why can't I give myself the support and help that I need? God, I'm a complicated mess, lol. At least I admit it. It's just very confusing when you think about it.
Do androids dream of electronic sheep?
(Blade Runner was based on this.)
WOW!!! Blade Runner is one of my all time fav.s 8)
Quote from: V M on April 26, 2014, 08:27:01 AM
WOW!!! Blade Runner is one of my all time fav.s 8)
Me too, seen it four times! Rutgar Hauer is beyond spooky!
Quote from: learningtolive on April 26, 2014, 07:47:55 AM
Trying to understand myself and thinking out loud. When I come on this forum, I legitimately want to help other people. For whatever reason, I really care about what they say and feel. And I really want to be part of the solution and help them. I care deeply and want to make a difference, even on this little forum. Part of me thinks I can really be there for someone and even help them in some way. Despite all of this, I have to admit that I'm a mess myself. I don't know how to help myself, and I struggle quite often to get where I want to be. How can I really help others if I can't help myself? Who am I to offer support and advice? And why is it that I seem to care about other people (their lives and problems) more than I do my own? What does this really say about me? As much as I probably should shut up and stop offering support or advice to others, I can't help but care about other people. I want to be here, offer support and try to help, but why can't I do the same for myself? Why can't I give myself the support and help that I need? God, I'm a complicated mess, lol. At least I admit it. It's just very confusing when you think about it.
No really very compelling and sweet attributes! Sometimes we just can't fix other people's stuff, but being concerned is still what it's all about and quite admirable!
toooooo much to do today.
on the positive side, it's not raining
Quote from: Shantel on April 25, 2014, 05:33:48 PM
Well imagining is the first part, you just need to move from there to the planning phase.
I think I was concerned when I posted that because of a history of procrastination, but I've been kicking it lately. I've asked a few friends for help. I'm still unsure what I want to do career wise, which sucks, but I have some work experience now.
Cheers.
I wish I could get my transition moving along faster. I'm ready for my GRS & to live a normal life. But still quite a bit to go. Frustrating just waiting. I have so much I want to do with life after healing up from GRS.
We shaved my dog, thinking that winter was over. It's not. It's snowing. She is so cold she actually snuggled under my stomach while I was sleeping. It's a miracle she doesn't get crushed when she does stuff like that.
Quote from: birkin on April 26, 2014, 01:23:13 PM
We shaved my dog, thinking that winter was over. It's not. It's snowing. She is so cold she actually snuggled under my stomach while I was sleeping. It's a miracle she doesn't get crushed when she does stuff like that.
It really is! :icon_hahano: :icon_peace:
Quote from: Shantel on April 26, 2014, 01:33:09 PM
It really is! :icon_hahano: :icon_peace:
lol
Speaking of shaving, there is nothing more annoying than shaving and having one patch that is stubble (even after a close shave) and another patch that is entirely smooth after shaving. They seemed to be equally thick when I ignore it and let it grow! -_- For some reason touching my chin makes me feel really annoyed but I can't stop.
I can't wait to cook up some yummy Greek food tomorrow.
of people who get away with openly discriminating against all disabled people.
I hate when you eat, and then you think "hm I'm still very hungry I think I'll get some more food"...wait a while, hunger doesn't go away, you go for seconds, get a few bites in, and your body goes "OMG I'M FULL STOP FEEDING ME."
Though I should know by now that my body is a troll. Don't know why I continue to be surprised.
Quote from: Zóôt Threepwood on April 26, 2014, 04:34:07 PM
of people who get away with openly discriminating against all disabled people.
Anyone who does that is the scum of the earth. If I ever saw something like that in public, I wouldn't hesitate to slug the person that is doing it. Anyone that does that deserves to get stomped.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 26, 2014, 06:36:45 PM
Anyone who does that is the scum of the earth. If I ever saw something like that in public, I wouldn't hesitate to slug the person that is doing it. Anyone that does that deserves to get stomped.
i am so angry at them. i am sitting at home now 24/7 waiting for the next terms to start, but at a different school.
The best thing is, if you're an official, you can't get fired as easily as others. So they have the upper hand.
Quote from: Zóôt Threepwood on April 26, 2014, 07:21:13 PM
i am so angry at them. i am sitting at home now 24/7 waiting for the next terms to start, but at a different school.
The best thing is, if you're an official, you can't get fired as easily as others. So they have the upper hand.
Yeah, I know how that goes. I saw the same crap back in my school days.
I need a new man. He may not be a prince but I need a man. Just hate saturday nights alone.
Man does not live by pasta alone! except when he does. :( >:-)
Fantasizing about someone giving me at least $100,000 an then I move to either L.A. or NYC and start a new life with that money (and thus transitioning).
Wait, I think my hips have somehow widened a decent amount over the last month. Cause they sure are wider than they used to be. Wondering how that happened, since it's really bony and I thought my growth plates had all closed up.
Quote from: FA on April 27, 2014, 02:50:19 AM
Man does not live by pasta alone! except when he does. :( >:-)
:D LMAO!
The coursework I should be doing... :embarrassed:
Quote from: Malachite on April 27, 2014, 04:57:27 AM
Fantasizing about someone giving me at least $100,000 an then I move to either L.A. or NYC and start a new life with that money (and thus transitioning).
I have this fantasy very frequently LOL. I wouldn't want to live in L.A. though *shudder* NYC wouldn't be bad, but I'd prefer a smaller town to be honest. Don't like the hustle and bustle. :P
Quote from: Shantel on April 26, 2014, 11:23:07 AM
No really very compelling and sweet attributes! Sometimes we just can't fix other people's stuff, but being concerned is still what it's all about and quite admirable!
It's sweet of you to say that, but it doesn't make sense when you think about it. I don't know. I'm just doing a lot of introspection lately and trying to understand who I am. Sadly, having too much free time does that to me. But how can someone that doesn't know how to help themselves really help other people? I mean it's like a poor person giving advice on how to be a millionaire? Ultimately, that doesn't make sense. Perhaps the poor man cares about someone else's money problems, but can they really be part of the solution? I feel the same way when I try to offer advice or support here. And why is this so important to me? If it's really important to me isn't there a selfish component to it? Like someone cares about someone else because of how they feel on the inside? That's one of the reasons this bothers me because rather than it being altruistic, it's selfishness and evil. Caring about helping others in some way should be a noble and altruistic act. Yet, I don't think that's what leads me to care about other people's problems or try to help. For example, I feel compelled to start doing charity because I want some more in person social interaction (which I lack greatly and it hurts) and I always get a sense of self worth through helping others in some way. I've done volunteer work in the past and the social interaction made me feel less lonely and the fact that I was contributing something made me have some sense of self worth. I think it can very well help me feel better at this time as well, but that's the point, it's about ME again when it shouldn't be. Am I really concerned about other people in any sense or is this just an entirely selfish quality? I mean the result may or may not be a good thing, but the cause is pretty selfish and thus pretty evil when you think about it. And even if it's not selfish, what right does a screw up have to help other people or offer advice? Is there anything of substance to be offered? I don't know.
In any case, I'm just thinking at loud trying to understand what makes me tick and who I am as a person. I'm not looking to be cheered up or anything because I'm not sad. I'm actually feeling quite content and happy today. I just don't get me and want to understand who I am and why I am this way. the more I hink about it, everything takes me back to the need of approval or validation from other people in some way. It manifests in many ways, but it always comes back to how other people feel and never how I feel. It's bizarre and I wish I could understand who I am. And is there anything good for me to offer to this world? A potential emloyer? A potential lover? A potential friend or acquaintance? Or is everything inside me leading back to a broken and fragile child that needs everyone else's approval in some form or seeking a sense of validation that she didn't ever really get? Will she ever grow? I don't know.
I'm just thinking out loud and this forum is like my home, so forgive my ramblings as I just needed some place to put them.
Idk hon, I've given advice to a businessman on how to make a lot of money by doing a few simple things to a piece of business zoned property. I couldn't have done it myself because I don't own and couldn't afford such property. He made a killing after taking my advice. I taught my brother how to roller skate as a kid and I've still never been on roller skates myself. I've taught other people how to become beautiful and to become 100% passable and I'm neither.
I may be way off base but I think the approval that you are really looking for but scared(?) to accept, is your own. You look inside yourself to see if you are acceptable and when you think not or are unsure, you seek approval from others, usually people you respect. Maybe because if they approve, you must be OK. Thing is, you are OK whether others approve or not. I think the key thing is to think you are all you need to be, after that, anything can happen just by your wanting it to.
I've been continuing the excavation of my bedroom...lol. It is taking a long time. :(
Quote from: birkin on April 27, 2014, 06:37:27 PM
I've been continuing the excavation of my bedroom...lol. It is taking a long time. :(
Lol try using hangers next time! :icon_peace:
I feel fat. I'm dropping weight and my BMI is like right near underweight (18.7) but I still feel fat. I'm nit sure if it's anorexia playing tricks or the hormones making me all...fleshhy xD
Quote from: Shantel on April 27, 2014, 06:44:58 PM
Lol try using hangers next time! :icon_peace:
lol the problem isn't really clothes, so much as I have a lot of stuff I don't use anymore. I've gotten rid of a fair amount. I'm thinking a little too far ahead in that I don't want to do all of this when I move.
Quote from: learningtolive on April 27, 2014, 04:53:57 PM
Quote from: Shantel on April 26, 2014, 11:23:07 AM
No really very compelling and sweet attributes! Sometimes we just can't fix other people's stuff, but being concerned is still what it's all about and quite admirable!
It's sweet of you to say that, but it doesn't make sense when you think about it. I don't know. I'm just doing a lot of introspection lately and trying to understand who I am. Sadly, having too much free time does that to me. But how can someone that doesn't know how to help themselves really help other people? I mean it's like a poor person giving advice on how to be a millionaire? Ultimately, that doesn't make sense. Perhaps the poor man cares about someone else's money problems, but can they really be part of the solution? I feel the same way when I try to offer advice or support here. And why is this so important to me? If it's really important to me isn't there a selfish component to it? Like someone cares about someone else because of how they feel on the inside? That's one of the reasons this bothers me because rather than it being altruistic, it's selfishness and evil. Caring about helping others in some way should be a noble and altruistic act. Yet, I don't think that's what leads me to care about other people's problems or try to help. For example, I feel compelled to start doing charity because I want some more in person social interaction (which I lack greatly and it hurts) and I always get a sense of self worth through helping others in some way. I've done volunteer work in the past and the social interaction made me feel less lonely and the fact that I was contributing something made me have some sense of self worth. I think it can very well help me feel better at this time as well, but that's the point, it's about ME again when it shouldn't be. Am I really concerned about other people in any sense or is this just an entirely selfish quality? I mean the result may or may not be a good thing, but the cause is pretty selfish and thus pretty evil when you think about it. And even if it's not selfish, what right does a screw up have to help other people or offer advice? Is there anything of substance to be offered? I don't know.
In any case, I'm just thinking at loud trying to understand what makes me tick and who I am as a person. I'm not looking to be cheered up or anything because I'm not sad. I'm actually feeling quite content and happy today. I just don't get me and want to understand who I am and why I am this way. the more I hink about it, everything takes me back to the need of approval or validation from other people in some way. It manifests in many ways, but it always comes back to how other people feel and never how I feel. It's bizarre and I wish I could understand who I am. And is there anything good for me to offer to this world? A potential emloyer? A potential lover? A potential friend or acquaintance? Or is everything inside me leading back to a broken and fragile child that needs everyone else's approval in some form or seeking a sense of validation that she didn't ever really get? Will she ever grow? I don't know.
I'm just thinking out loud and this forum is like my home, so forgive my ramblings as I just needed some place to put them.
There's a payoff for every action humans do. Even if its a noble one. Mother Theresa had to get something out of what she did, even if it was just feeling like she was easing suffering. Must have made her feel good, that she was making a difference. People donate to causes because it makes them feel better - either about the situation in question or just that they are helping. And some may do these kinds of things because it makes them feel good about themselves. Nothing wrong with that.
If you get a benefit of social interaction from volunteering, nothing wrong with that.
I'm thinking I'd like a glass of wine now. Recipe called for half a cup and I have the rest of the bottle left over and nobody here to share it with.
Cheers, everyone!
Quote from: Jill F on April 27, 2014, 07:49:59 PM
I'm thinking I'd like a glass of wine now. Recipe called for half a cup and I have the rest of the bottle left over and nobody here to share it with.
Cheers, everyone!
That sounds so me! ;D
I was thinking of how I want to be like Gomez Addams and then realized that, aside from being me, I already am. At least, the traits of his I want.
Now I want to watch The Addams Family.
I prefer the show from the 60's to the movies and new stuff. Pugsley was cooler and had mad scientist tendencies.
anyone want to walk my dog?
I'm so freaking cold.
Quote from: christopher on April 27, 2014, 09:40:53 PM
anyone want to walk my dog?
I'm so freaking cold.
Awww, I'd love to walk your doggie. I love animals.
Thanks Jill. He's a handful though. A total behavior problem dog. It wasn't really the cold stopping me, it's my back. It's been messed up this past week and I just wanted one day break from the potential jerking. You know...
"squirrel? SQUIRREL!!!! MUST HAVE SQUIRREL"
or
"Uh oh, that dog is barking at me". "Oh yeah? Oh Yeah? I'm tough! I'm tough. Don't mess with me. Look how tough I am!!!!!"
or
"BIKE BIKE BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
or
"Car! must herd the car! behave car!"
Quote from: FA on April 27, 2014, 07:23:35 PM
It's sweet of you to say that, but it doesn't make sense when you think about it. I don't know. I'm just doing a lot of introspection lately and trying to understand who I am. Sadly, having too much free time does that to me. But how can someone that doesn't know how to help themselves really help other people? I mean it's like a poor person giving advice on how to be a millionaire? Ultimately, that doesn't make sense. Perhaps the poor man cares about someone else's money problems, but can they really be part of the solution? I feel the same way when I try to offer advice or support here. And why is this so important to me? If it's really important to me isn't there a selfish component to it? Like someone cares about someone else because of how they feel on the inside? That's one of the reasons this bothers me because rather than it being altruistic, it's selfishness and evil. Caring about helping others in some way should be a noble and altruistic act. Yet, I don't think that's what leads me to care about other people's problems or try to help. For example, I feel compelled to start doing charity because I want some more in person social interaction (which I lack greatly and it hurts) and I always get a sense of self worth through helping others in some way. I've done volunteer work in the past and the social interaction made me feel less lonely and the fact that I was contributing something made me have some sense of self worth. I think it can very well help me feel better at this time as well, but that's the point, it's about ME again when it shouldn't be. Am I really concerned about other people in any sense or is this just an entirely selfish quality? I mean the result may or may not be a good thing, but the cause is pretty selfish and thus pretty evil when you think about it. And even if it's not selfish, what right does a screw up have to help other people or offer advice? Is there anything of substance to be offered? I don't know.
In any case, I'm just thinking at loud trying to understand what makes me tick and who I am as a person. I'm not looking to be cheered up or anything because I'm not sad. I'm actually feeling quite content and happy today. I just don't get me and want to understand who I am and why I am this way. the more I hink about it, everything takes me back to the need of approval or validation from other people in some way. It manifests in many ways, but it always comes back to how other people feel and never how I feel. It's bizarre and I wish I could understand who I am. And is there anything good for me to offer to this world? A potential emloyer? A potential lover? A potential friend or acquaintance? Or is everything inside me leading back to a broken and fragile child that needs everyone else's approval in some form or seeking a sense of validation that she didn't ever really get? Will she ever grow? I don't know.
I'm just thinking out loud and this forum is like my home, so forgive my ramblings as I just needed some place to put them.
There's a payoff for every action humans do. Even if its a noble one. Mother Theresa had to get something out of what she did, even if it was just feeling like she was easing suffering. Must have made her feel good, that she was making a difference. People donate to causes because it makes them feel better - either about the situation in question or just that they are helping. And some may do these kinds of things because it makes them feel good about themselves. Nothing wrong with that.
If you get a benefit of social interaction from volunteering, nothing wrong with that.
I suppose it's more of a question of "who am I" and "why am I like this"? There is so much about myself that I'm still learning about and some of it is confusing. In many ways, I am still just that fragile little kid in pain who never grew up. But I don't understand her place in the world, what her value is if anything, and why she behaves the way she does. Why does she give so much power to others? And while she is trapped by that, how can she really be a positive force in this world in any sense when it's all tied into this symbiotic relationship of perception? Why does she even desire to be a positive force for others, but not herself? Who is she? Why is she like this? And how does she get passed it all? These are questions that can't be answered here, and no one can force feed them to me, but they are on my mind lately. Usually, I try to make myself feel better by either doing something productive that gets it off my mind or I try to do something counter productive to reduce the feelings it causes. At a certain point, I have to deal with the feelings rather than pacify them in both good and bad ways.
Quote from: LordKAT on April 27, 2014, 06:32:04 PM
I may be way off base but I think the approval that you are really looking for but scared(?) to accept, is your own. You look inside yourself to see if you are acceptable and when you think not or are unsure, you seek approval from others, usually people you respect. Maybe because if they approve, you must be OK. Thing is, you are OK whether others approve or not. I think the key thing is to think you are all you need to be, after that, anything can happen just by your wanting it to.
I think you're partially right. While I think I'm really looking for self-approval, I don't feel I'm scared of that. I just don't know myself all that well. In many ways I'm confused by who I am and don't understand me. It's hard to accept something that you don't fully comprehend. But in either case, I know I'm not ok.
Quote from: Shantel on April 27, 2014, 05:45:24 PM
Idk hon, I've given advice to a businessman on how to make a lot of money by doing a few simple things to a piece of business zoned property. I couldn't have done it myself because I don't own and couldn't afford such property. He made a killing after taking my advice. I taught my brother how to roller skate as a kid and I've still never been on roller skates myself. I've taught other people how to become beautiful and to become 100% passable and I'm neither.
Good point. I don't know. I'm just trying to understand myself better. Who I am? Why am I that way? Is there anything really good inside? Anything of real substance? Truthfully, I feel very empty lately and a lot of that is probably me just hating being unemployed and hoping this won't last long. I like having some kind of purpose or meaning for myself; otherwise, it's just a lot of meaningless emptiness. I kind of feel like I have no real value to this world lately. I don't know how to explain it.
QuoteI like having some kind of purpose or meaning for myself; otherwise, it's just a lot of meaningless emptiness. I kind of feel like I have no real value to this world lately. I don't know how to explain it.
You have value to me, for whatever that is worth.
Have you thought about volunteering for something like a children's ward in a hospital. It can be amazing what they go through and the smiles brought on by some one just willing to be with them for a while.
Quote from: LordKAT on April 28, 2014, 05:54:30 AM
You have value to me, for whatever that is worth.
Have you thought about volunteering for something like a children's ward in a hospital. It can be amazing what they go through and the smiles brought on by some one just willing to be with them for a while.
Aww, thank you, but I guess it's finding self-worth and self-meaning that's my problem. It's an internal thing more than anything.
Yes, I have thought about that. In fact, I plan on doing that in near future. I just don't feel like doing anything as a "boy" and putting like almost every aspect of my life on hold until I go full time so I don't have to come out to more people in the future. Iknow that's weird but I do like nothing know waiting for the time for me to be me. But that's a great idea. My sister works in a children's hospital with very sick children, so that's always something I could do. I just would get a bit sad seeing sick children.
Perhaps by being with them, you may find yourself.
8000 posts, much ado about nothing, can't even remember what I said on account of CRS. ;D
All the times the commentators called Braxton Miller a hurtin' buckaroo in the Orange Bowl...
I now know what that feels like.
Went to a store I used to work at, and sure enough, one employee still works there. We made this eye contact when he said hello and you could just tell he recognized me. Lol. But something was obviously different so yeah. He made this very strange expression. I'm partly amused and partly displeased.
Quote from: Shantel on April 28, 2014, 09:58:00 AM
8000 posts, much ado about nothing, can't even remember what I said on account of CRS. ;D
I forget what CRS means. :-\
I'm thinking I really like the name Maia.
I'm thinking I should have worth stockings, my legs are cold and every other girl seems to wearing leggings.
Too late of course!
Quote from: Sephirah on April 28, 2014, 06:34:02 PM
I'm thinking I really like the name Maia.
Thanks Seph. I'm trying it on for size.
It's already nine, and I have SO much more to do tonight.
and once again I wonder why I am still up
Quote from: Shantel on April 28, 2014, 09:58:00 AM
8000 posts, much ado about nothing, can't even remember what I said on account of CRS. ;D
that's a lot of posts. I just read in another post that you are a seahawks fan?
I'm thinking that if I could just stop thinking I could probably go to bed.
Stupid brain has no "off" switch. Anyone want to bash me on the head?
Quote from: Jill F on April 29, 2014, 02:12:44 AM
I'm thinking that if I could just stop thinking I could probably go to bed.
Stupid brain has no "off" switch. Anyone want to bash me on the head?
That is what boring movies are for.
Quote from: Jill F on April 29, 2014, 02:12:44 AM
I'm thinking that if I could just stop thinking I could probably go to bed.
Stupid brain has no "off" switch. Anyone want to bash me on the head?
I hate that when it happens, I've built entire projects in my mind, mentally worked out dimensions, blue print and materials list. I didn't sleep a wink for two nights and finally built this so I could get some rest.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2Fxq90%2F835%2Fe2xp.jpg&hash=d9364230464f8e321747e640f8d645e0b5b53de4) (https://imageshack.com/i/n7e2xpj)
Two hours of electro torture today.
When will it ever end?
Quote from: Shantel on April 29, 2014, 10:43:34 AM
Quote from: Jill F on April 29, 2014, 02:12:44 AM
I'm thinking that if I could just stop thinking I could probably go to bed.
Stupid brain has no "off" switch. Anyone want to bash me on the head?
I hate that when it happens, I've built entire projects in my mind, mentally worked out dimensions, blue print and materials list. I didn't sleep a wink for two nights and finally built this so I could get some rest.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagizer.imageshack.us%2Fv2%2Fxq90%2F835%2Fe2xp.jpg&hash=d9364230464f8e321747e640f8d645e0b5b53de4) (https://imageshack.com/i/n7e2xpj)
Gorgeous!
Issues with pants, they're not working out down under. Is wear skirts and etcetera if I had any, but I really just want to blend in as normal, and not a single girl that I've seen today was wearing anything other than leggings or jeans.
1 year minimum until SRS, ugh.
Wow Shan, I had no idea you were so talented! Lol and I love how you're just like "yeah I just threw this thing together so I could rest, no biggie."
My brother continues to get mistaken for a woman on the phone. He says "I have to change my phone voice...no one will serve me!!" I wonder if anyone thinks he is a pre transition ftm. Most people seem to think he is a woman trying to scam LOL.
50 shades of I can't do this right now. Ugh. Everything just needs to put itself back together and I need to get some sleep!
Today, I found out that the straight guy I fancy doesn't think it's creepy if I flirt a bit with him. I still think he would if he found out I actually mean it though.
Quote from: Edge on April 29, 2014, 04:58:46 PM
Today, I found out that the straight guy I fancy doesn't think it's creepy if I flirt a bit with him. I still think he would if he found out I actually mean it though.
I don't think so!
I wonder if there's a connection between restlessness and sadism.
I also am wondering if there is any possible way I can get my friend to like me while at the same time wondering why I am thinking this since it's creepy and wrong. Although my current mood leans more toward creepy and wrong than usual (which is saying something since I always lean this way), so that might be why I don't feel any guilt at the moment.
I am also wondering if he is getting sick of talking to me since I've been talking to him a lot lately.
I am very restless. Restless, restless, ressstlesssssss.
Quote from: Edge on April 29, 2014, 08:34:35 PM
I wonder if there's a connection between restlessness and sadism.
I also am wondering if there is any possible way I can get my friend to like me while at the same time wondering why I am thinking this since it's creepy and wrong. Although my current mood leans more toward creepy and wrong than usual (which is saying something since I always lean this way), so that might be why I don't feel any guilt at the moment.
I am also wondering if he is getting sick of talking to me since I've been talking to him a lot lately.
I am very restless. Restless, restless, ressstlesssssss.
You are such an interesting individual Victor, there is nothing creepy and wrong about being a human being, not now - not ever!
Quote from: Shantel on April 29, 2014, 08:57:34 PM
You are such an interesting individual Victor, there is nothing creepy and wrong about being a human being, not now - not ever!
You might say something different if you knew what kinds of thoughts have been going through my head. I am aware of what kind of person I am.
So. Hungry.
My wife isn't coming home for at least two hours and I'm dying over here. Should I just make dinner already and eat or have another fattening snack?
I love my little nephew so much. I hope he grows into a big strong, manly man that I always wanted to be. I always tell him that he's going to be a big strong manly man. Even though I joke around and tell him that he's not allowed to marry a girl, I really do hope he finds a nice wife and gets married. I kind of of live my life through him because he's the happy little boy I always wanted to be. However if he turns out to be completely opposite of my dream, that won't change the love I have for him. Granted, he isn't even my son, and I feel this way. I can only imagine how it is for some parents when their child isn't what they wanted them to be. My dad wanted me to be a nurse that's married to a man and my mother I'm sure wanted me to be married to a man and have kids as well. Yeah, not going to happen. I wonder if they are going to have less love for me and/or not want anything to do with me when I do transition since I didn't quite fit their mold.
On a side note, my nephew wore a bracelet one time and I told him it was gorgeous on him. His mom told me to stop saying that because she didn't want him to be "confused". If my nephew happens to be gay or transgender when he grows up, I hope he can feel safe enough to come to me for support. Heck if he's an adult by then, he can live with me. For the sake of convenience though, I really hope he doesn't have to go down either of those roads. Things are getting better for us, but I would MUCH rather be a straight cis guy than anything else, since that's less discrimination I'd have to put up with. I really love my nephew and just don't want him to go through all of that, but if he does, I will support him nevertheless.
I finally got round to watching the new RoboCop movie last night... and it occurred to me that despite the fact that Murphy loses pretty much all of his organic body, nobody has any doubts about his masculinity. His manhood - his personhood - isn't defined by a particular set of body parts. Stripped of every physical attribute that would make him a man - apart from the most important one, his brain - he is still automatically accepted as male.
There was a big difference in atmosphere between this movie and the original ones. In the originals, it seemed somewhat 'freaky' to have artificial body parts attached to yourself and Murphy had trouble accepting this all the way through the movie. In the new movie, prosthetics are a normal part of life for many people, so the extension to a full cyborg body is more of a small step than the giant leap it was in the originals, and Murphy seems to have fully embraced his new status by the end of the movie.
No doubt this change in atmosphere is due to some of the movies we've had in the intervening years (such as I, Robot), but I believe it's also probably due to the real-world improvements in prosthetic technology: for example, we're used to seeing people run on blades at the Special Olympics so it no longer seems strange.
I found it quite encouraging.
Trying to figure out how to write this cover letter. Really don't know what to say other than I like shoes, need a summer job, and I read on the Eastwood Town Centre website that DSW was hiring.
Oh yeah, I can feel the weather changes again -_-
Why is it that I am able to see other people's problems much more clearly and rationally than my own? Like I can sit and think of a response to somebody else's post that may be something that I struggle with myself. As though I can possibly envision a potential solution for them, yet I have absolutely none for myself. Maybe I do have the answers for me, but I'm too scared to do anything about it and make an attempt at change. It's bizarre when I think about it. Maybe I should start pretending I'm somebody else when I think about my problems so I can be more truthful and honest with myself. Leaving all the emotional like fear and everything else. Honestly, it all seems so much clearer when I do that.
Quote from: Jill F on April 29, 2014, 11:01:57 AM
Two hours of electro torture today.
When will it ever end?
I would trade your two hours of electro over the 45 minutes (I'm guessing) that I spent in the MRI machine today. I friggin hate being in those things. I'm not claustrophobic, it's just creepy as hell. I tolerated it slightly better than the other times I've been in one over the last couple of years, but it still sucked. Insomnia may have actually helped me in this case. Plus, I did my best to let my mind wander and also concentrate on the "rhythms" of the noises that the machine was making. (Which were still loud as hell, even if I was wearing the earplugs they supplied me with.)
When I have to do an MRI I close my eyes and pretend I'm an astronaut going on a space mission 8)
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 30, 2014, 04:25:44 PMI would trade your two hours of electro over the 45 minutes (I'm guessing) that I spent in the MRI machine today. I friggin hate being in those things. I'm not claustrophobic, it's just creepy as hell. I tolerated it slightly better than the other times I've been in one over the last couple of years, but it still sucked. Insomnia may have actually helped me in this case. Plus, I did my best to let my mind wander and also concentrate on the "rhythms" of the noises that the machine was making. (Which were still loud as hell, even if I was wearing the earplugs they supplied me with.)
I wish I could remember the sounds that it made when I had one done, I remember that it could have made some awesome EDM.
Quote from: V M on April 30, 2014, 05:01:14 PM
When I have to do an MRI I close my eyes and pretend I'm an astronaut going on a space mission 8)
I always have my eyes shut when I am in one of those things. The thing that sucks is that after two years and multiple MRI's, all I know is: 1. The VP shunt in my head is broken and has been for some time. (We already figured this out). 2. They have no idea how it happened. 3. The only thing that has worked in the long term is being on a pair of medications that I have been taking for several months now.
I guess I will have to stay on them for the rest of my life. As long as I have insurance. I'm okay. If I lose it and have to pay out of pocket, I'm completely screwed since one of them is at least $300 out of pocket. That is for the generic version of that drug and at the next to lowest dosage level available.
i'm thinking what to have for breakkie while dilating in bed right now ;D
I'm wondering why I feel worse after having a nap.
Quote from: Edge on April 30, 2014, 06:09:28 PM
I'm wondering why I feel worse after having a nap.
maybe you need coffee ???
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FviXsYok1yHgS4%2Fgiphy.gif&hash=0f4ba89e604db6345ae1c2e45e19e0d9a0da341d)
;D
Eww.. Coffee
Quote from: Emo on April 30, 2014, 11:48:31 PM
Eww.. Coffee
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg3.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20111122101459%2Fglee%2Fimages%2Fb%2Fbb%2FWhat_is_wrong_with_you.gif&hash=0a18fb52da31fe6d87563a0afff67cea9691f4bf)
;D
I concur. I don't drink coffee unless it's that overpriced fancy stuff that is more like vaguely coffee flavoured sugar milk. Even then, maybe once in a year or so.
I went jogging this morning and now my body is rejecting my lungs. Lol. Its gonna be a long month.
Also, i deactivated my fb account due to reasons.
Might delete this app too...
Quote from: Edge on April 30, 2014, 11:59:06 PM
I concur. I don't drink coffee unless it's that overpriced fancy stuff that is more like vaguely coffee flavoured sugar milk. Even then, maybe once in a year or so.
i wish i could stop drinking coffee , i have to drink at least once a day ;)
oh my god, i am a caffeine junkie.
I made sweet and sour meatballs and the sauce was watery. I was sad. But when I left it out to cool, it thickened and it's fairly tasty for a first attempt.
The meatballs are a bit...soft though. Like they're not very firm and the inside is a bit wet. I hope I don't get food poisoning lol.
I detest body hair. *gags*
Quote from: Jill F on May 01, 2014, 05:06:07 PM
I detest body hair. *gags*
I love it all, except the hair that gathers around the butt/nether regions. It makes me feel like I'm dirty there. I'd also be more forgiving of my back hair if it wasn't so culturally maligned lol.
Quote from: birkin on May 01, 2014, 05:10:46 PM
I love it all, except the hair that gathers around the butt/nether regions. It makes me feel like I'm dirty there. I'd also be more forgiving of my back hair if it wasn't so culturally maligned lol.
I meant on me. LOL. It looks fine on men. It's a lot better now, but those stragglers just gots to go. Hopefully after the orchi it all goes away.
Quote from: Jill F on May 01, 2014, 05:23:22 PM
I meant on me. LOL. It looks fine on men. It's a lot better now, but those stragglers just gots to go. Hopefully after the orchi it all goes away.
Lol, well I know some women just hate body hair on guys. I can understand why the remains would be frustrating for you, not only as a woman but the fact that there has to be a few individuals/patches that are out of place.
A.C gittin up in yer grill wit the Grind/Noise, yo!
I love coffee
just watched my girl walk up the ramp. she's so amazing. she's hot already though. probably need to bring her inside soon.
Quote from: christopher on May 01, 2014, 05:45:45 PM
I love coffee
just watched my girl walk up the ramp. she's so amazing. she's hot already though. probably need to bring her inside soon.
i'm gonna make a coffee after i finish dilating lol .. its almost 9 am here .. and also , am thinking that i might have one of this for lunch
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.todayifoundout.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F12%2Fsushi.jpg&hash=8262bc41264d311d6804da1357b492489a17dc6d)
Quote from: DianaVV on May 01, 2014, 06:12:59 PM
i'm gonna make a coffee after i finish dilating lol .. its almost 9 am here .. and also , am thinking that i might have one of this for lunch
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.todayifoundout.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F12%2Fsushi.jpg&hash=8262bc41264d311d6804da1357b492489a17dc6d)
Looks delicious. I get to go out for Japanese food tonight! I am fortunate to live right next to some of the best Japanese restaurants in Los Angeles and have it once a week. Sometimes twice.
Quote from: Jill F on May 01, 2014, 06:21:46 PM
Looks delicious. I get to go out for Japanese food tonight! I am fortunate to live right next to some of the best Japanese restaurants in Los Angeles and have it once a week. Sometimes twice.
you are trying to make me jealous , Miss Jill !! haha :P
i love sushi !! my fav are tempura prawn & terriyaki chicken :)
You're both making me jealous. Now I really want sushi.
I'm debating whether I should change my major from biology to biology-psychology.
Quote from: Edge on May 01, 2014, 08:00:06 PM
You're both making me jealous. Now I really want sushi.
I'm debating whether I should change my major from biology to biology-psychology.
Neuroscience is the ticket.
Havarti is delicious.
Quote from: Jill F on May 01, 2014, 08:09:06 PMHavarti is delicious.
I Havarti got a whole list of cheese puns.
Quote from: Maia Lynne (Gwynne) on May 01, 2014, 08:06:07 PM
Neuroscience is the ticket.
That's what I'm interested in. I love brains.
Brains are delicious.
I have the recipe for Pulp Fiction's Big Kahuna Burger 8)
you all are making me hungry
ok. just post... well.. now you all are making me less hungry with the most recent posts:P
I also know how to make my own Sushi 8)
Quote from: V M on May 01, 2014, 08:30:29 PM
I have the recipe for Pulp Fiction's Big Kahuna Burger 8)
When I stopped into the pawn shop down the street, "Oye Como Va" was playing in the shop. I instantly thought of "The Big Lebowski". :D
PIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Writing a song called Big Non Sequitur
Quote from: christopher on May 01, 2014, 08:53:14 PM
PIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Lasaaaaaaaaagnaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Padthaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_UIXOn06Pz70%2FSSs924dP3UI%2FAAAAAAAAFls%2F6pmRVsoDC4w%2Fs800%2FPad%2BThai%2B500.jpg&hash=8c5958ceb27bbd14b9f23e5464b92979bb07c7bf)
Wow, did this thread ever get silly these last couple of hours. :p
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-JpoCXfNA4
Quote from: DianaVV on May 01, 2014, 09:22:02 PM
Padthaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_UIXOn06Pz70%2FSSs924dP3UI%2FAAAAAAAAFls%2F6pmRVsoDC4w%2Fs800%2FPad%2BThai%2B500.jpg&hash=8c5958ceb27bbd14b9f23e5464b92979bb07c7bf)
Delicious and better for you than the other foods previously listed!
Pizza, pasta and other aforementioned foods are perfectly good for you. Vegetables kill, just watch Killer Tomatoes from Outer Space to find out.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 09:33:31 AM
Pizza, pasta and other aforementioned foods are perfectly good for you. Vegetables kill, just watch Killer Tomatoes from Outer Space to find out.
Waaaaa Hahaha! :D ;D :laugh: I think I know you snowflake!
I have no idea who you could be talking about.
And I have to get the downstairs bedroom clean by next Friday. It appears that I will be getting a roommate. Its a lady that works at another store, she needed a new place to live and I could use the money. She came by yesterday to see the place and she seems pretty eager to move in. I have no idea if she knows I'm trans or not either, lol. I didn't bring it up and she never has over the time I've known her.
Killer tomatoes? Them again? Drat!
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 09:57:18 AM
I have no idea who you could be talking about.
And I have to get the downstairs bedroom clean by next Friday. It appears that I will be getting a roommate. Its a lady that works at another store, she needed a new place to live and I could use the money. She came by yesterday to see the place and she seems pretty eager to move in. I have no idea if she knows I'm trans or not either, lol. I didn't bring it up and she never has over the time I've known her.
Sounds like a smart plan to me hon, really as long as you have that big house you might as well let her split the overhead costs and besides it will probably be nice to have the company for a change.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 09:57:18 AM
I have no idea who you could be talking about.
Oh, your dislike for veggies and the "flake" in snowflake was a dead giveaway. Waaaa Hahaha! :D :D :D
Quote from: Shantel on May 02, 2014, 10:29:02 AM
Oh, your dislike for veggies and the "flake" in snowflake was a dead giveaway. Waaaa Hahaha! :D :D :D
Are you really calling me a "flake?" I'm hurt....
lol
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 10:39:17 AM
Are you really calling me a "flake?" I'm hurt....
lol
Oh hey, you know I love you dear! ;D
I know and I love you too!
And in getting stuff out of the downstairs bedroom, the sheer number of pictures is staggering. I also just came across my dad's old baby book for him and the original birth announcement section in the Augusta, Ga paper back in '36 had a white section first then a colored section for births. Its good that we've come a long way since then.
ha, just found some old pics of me from school and when my little sister and I went with our grandparents to Kentucky to see our oldest brother graduate basic from Ft. Knox. I looked like a little dweeb, cute maybe, but still a dweeb.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 11:14:24 AM
I know and I love you too!
Thanks sweetie!
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 11:14:24 AM
And in getting stuff out of the downstairs bedroom, the sheer number of pictures is staggering. I also just came across my dad's old baby book for him and the original birth announcement section in the Augusta, Ga paper back in '36 had a white section first then a colored section for births. Its good that we've come a long way since then.
Yeah, you're right about that! Nice to find photos of your dad, we all need to keep those memories alive in out hearts, especially the good times we once had with loved ones.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 11:33:30 AM
ha, just found some old pics of me from school and when my little sister and I went with our grandparents to Kentucky to see our oldest brother graduate basic from Ft. Knox. I looked like a little dweeb, cute maybe, but still a dweeb.
Haha we all had our dweebie phase though didn't we? :D
Quote from: Shantel on May 02, 2014, 11:36:00 AM
Haha we all had our dweebie phase though didn't we? :D
Here you go, a comparison between me as a child and now, lol.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FPicture274.jpg&hash=561de8b0e09c86d41306f96759a7d613bf3c13c5)
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 11:56:27 AM
Here you go, a comparison between me as a child and now, lol.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi686.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv228%2Fjaime_r_d%2FPicture274.jpg&hash=561de8b0e09c86d41306f96759a7d613bf3c13c5)
You were a cute kid!
What was with those suit jackets for kids with the little patch thingy anyway? School pics a few years later had me with long hair and wearing a tshirt under an open flannel shirt, lol.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 02, 2014, 12:27:13 PM
What was with those suit jackets for kids with the little patch thingy anyway? School pics a few years later had me with long hair and wearing a tshirt under an open flannel shirt, lol.
Yeah suit jackets on young boys is really nerdy alright! My folks sent me to Catholic school with salt & Pepper corduroys and dark blue sweater over a white shirt, they really destroyed my self esteem, which came back once I was BMOC star fullback in high school. I think I excelled because I was really a very angry kid.
Before I moved here, I wanted to start over where no one knew the past I viewed as shameful. Now, I want to tell people my past and am... not proud of it exactly, but it is mine.
Quote from: Edge on May 02, 2014, 12:56:17 PM
Before I moved here, I wanted to start over where no one knew the past I viewed as shameful. Now, I want to tell people my past and am... not proud of it exactly, but it is mine.
My past is beyond shameful but all of that in retrospect is where wisdom comes from, if we deny it as if it never was then we don't grow from the experience. Solomon was reputed to be the wisest man in history in his old age and had 500 wives and concubines at one time during his youth, we can imagine he learned a thing or two from that awful mistake!
Quote from: Shantel on May 02, 2014, 09:26:24 AM
Delicious and better for you than the other foods previously listed!
hugs Auntie Shan :) :icon_flower:
am thinking that today we will go for a drive somewhere , at least an hour drive ... bring our lovely dog with us .. and have lunch there ;D
How delightful, a transition legal hoop. -_-
Since the job hunt has been less than fruitful, I have to supplement my hunt with in-person applications (as opposed to online) for convenience stores, grocery stores, etc. Turns out these in person applications want your high school information and will verify that you did in fact graduate high school.
I did graduate high school but they aren't going to find any information on me, only on "her."
This has never been an issue because online jobs don't ask that stuff, and as for jobs that I'm qualified for (as opposed to overqualified for), they never asked about high school because they require university degrees.
I should also take it as a bad omen that there's no room for me to list my Master's education on any of these applications...they ask for the start and end date of your Bachelor's.
Oh well, I'm going to call the government and explain the high school diploma situation. I may have to call old employers in the service industry and out myself to them too, if I'm going to apply for jobs that will verify that work.
I hate being trans.
I wonder if marsh monsters like snowflakes.
my allergies are crazy and my voice is a bit off. I keep wanting to think it's the T but that's just silly. It's only been 2 days since my first dose.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 03, 2014, 09:55:50 AM
I wonder if marsh monsters like snowflakes.
I was wondering the same thing... :laugh:
It's looking like it's going to be an old school Hardcore/Punk kind of day.
You ever notice how, when you have something you absolutely have to do ASAP, everything else suddenly becomes a whole lot more interesting?
I have. :T
Quote from: ethereal-ineffability on May 03, 2014, 02:49:18 PMYou ever notice how, when you have something you absolutely have to do ASAP, everything else suddenly becomes a whole lot more interesting?
I have. :T
Sounds a heck of a lot like ADHD.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 03, 2014, 09:55:50 AM
I wonder if marsh monsters like snowflakes.
Quote from: FA on May 03, 2014, 10:29:49 AM
I was wondering the same thing... :laugh:
Depends on the circumstances. But I do know sometimes marsh monsters are flakey....
Sink'pe tawota
Quote from: Lauren5 on May 03, 2014, 03:26:02 PM
Sounds a heck of a lot like ADHD.
Really? I just thought that was an average thing?
Why is there both Coke Zero Cherry and Diet Coke Cherry? The Coke Zero is far superior.
Quote from: Jill F on May 03, 2014, 04:22:39 PM
Why is there both Coke Zero Cherry and Diet Coke Cherry? The Coke Zero is far superior.
Coke Zero is way better. From what I understand, Coke Zero was made to end the "stigma" against Diet drinks for men (since Diet Coke was considered to be a "girl's drink", Coke Zero was the manly alternative). What I love is how they marketed it as being indistinguishable from the regular, sugar-laden Coke...lol, I love Coke Zero but it's no regular.
Quote from: FA on May 03, 2014, 10:29:49 AM
I was wondering the same thing... :laugh:
Watch out guys, she could be dangerous! :D
Not very happy with my machine (computer) lately :icon_userfriendly:
Quote from: Jill F on May 03, 2014, 04:22:39 PM
Why is there both Coke Zero Cherry and Diet Coke Cherry? The Coke Zero is far superior.
Diet Coke and Coke Zero are worse for you than normal Coke. Aspartame=poison
I avoid it these days, i (no pun intended) can't stomach it. And it has proven heavy negative side-effects that make me question if money will get anything on the market.
I wonder why Discworld isn't more popular.
Quote from: Zóôt Threepwood on May 03, 2014, 05:38:56 PM
Diet Coke and Coke Zero are worse for you than normal Coke. Aspartame=poison
I avoid it these days, i (no pun intended) can't stomach it. And it has proven heavy negative side-effects that make me question if money will get anything on the market.
I'm honestly amazed that aspartame hasn't killed me. I drink so much diet pop, more than water honestly. I actually believe if I switched to sugary pop only, I'd drink less soda overall, because the sugar overwhelms my taste buds.
hate having seb-derm (some doc said seb-derm,some said psoriasis, ughhhh) on my face , why cant it just go away permanently .. make me sad
Quote from: ethereal-ineffability on May 03, 2014, 02:49:18 PM
You ever notice how, when you have something you absolutely have to do ASAP, everything else suddenly becomes a whole lot more interesting?
I have. :T
All the time. Especially with school work deadlines. :'(
Quote from: Shantel on May 03, 2014, 04:30:20 PM
Quote from: FA on May 03, 2014, 10:29:49 AM
I was wondering the same thing... :laugh:
Watch out guys, she could be dangerous! :D
She's certainly looking like it in that avatar. :laugh:
Holy crap, I just used a Magic Eraser on my nasty sink and it looks better than it has since I moved in. =/ That's kind of gross.
Quote from: birkin on May 03, 2014, 06:35:10 PM
Holy crap, I just used a Magic Eraser on my nasty sink and it looks better than it has since I moved in. =/ That's kind of gross.
Ooh, do me, do me!! Magic Eraser sounds awesome, whatever it is.
It works well, but I'm more than a little disturbed that it's a foam made of melamine, which if I'm not mistaken is that stuff that tainted that Chinese baby formula. Or powdered milk...
My nephew and I went to our local comic book shop to celebrate Free Comic Book Day. His mother gave him $20 to spend. He wanted a Ninja Turtle statue that was $19.99. I can tell I'm getting soft because I told him he could buy it and I'd throw in the taxes (about $1.19) As a cheapskate, why am I doing this? I should have told him "oh well find something cheaper", considering I'm trying to save to get a flat chest like his. To make matters worse, my mother told me she would give me the money back, but I told her to keep her money. I am totally failing at life........
Malachite= LOSER!!!!!
That just makes you a nice person, Malachite. :) It made your nephew happy, right?
I'm thinking that I wish I didn't repress my sexuality as much as I did. I mean, not that I'd have wanted to engage in sex, given the wrong parts and all that. But I spent so many years purposely looking away from women. Not letting my eyes ever look at boobs, for example (although I am sure that on a few occasions they drifted there)...I dunno, I just feel somewhat stunted in terms of sexual development I guess. I still feel weird about looking at boobs or whatever even though I feel totally comfortable with liking women. And have for like....7 years now.
I just screamed for my mom to kill a spider. Yet, still feel very manly. Whoever I marry is going to have to be the spider-killer in my family.
@Caleb I hope it made him happy. It kind of made me happy.
Quote from: birkin on May 03, 2014, 11:08:39 PM
I'm thinking that I wish I didn't repress my sexuality as much as I did. I mean, not that I'd have wanted to engage in sex, given the wrong parts and all that. But I spent so many years purposely looking away from women. Not letting my eyes ever look at boobs, for example (although I am sure that on a few occasions they drifted there)...I dunno, I just feel somewhat stunted in terms of sexual development I guess. I still feel weird about looking at boobs or whatever even though I feel totally comfortable with liking women. And have for like....7 years now.
Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. I used to tell people I liked girls, then I just stopped and let people auto assume whatever they wanted. If I said that I did, then it's always the tricky spot of trying to think of (or explain to others) why I didn't have a girlfriend and wasn't looking for one. It was hard to find a girl that was right for me, because I am not a lesbian. I've done things to girls, but didn't let them do things to me. I kind of thought that I also liked men, but I know now that I don't but was more attracted to the idea of looking like them. I've had boyfriends (and a husband) but never really had actual sex with them -- I think I might actually be considered a virgin in some way. When things aren't right, it's kind of easier to fall into repression.
I'm thinking i want a sammich. GO MAKE ME ONE! xD hahaha!
Quote from: Umiko Nixie on May 04, 2014, 10:34:26 PM
I'm thinking i want a sammich. GO MAKE ME ONE! xD hahaha!
I'm thinking that you'll get nowhere with that until you phrase it more politely :U
Quote from: ethereal-ineffability on May 05, 2014, 08:04:18 AM
I'm thinking that you'll get nowhere with that until you phrase it more politely :U
i'm pulling your leg. i would rather make my own. can be very picky with what i eat plus i could use the exercise
I'm thinking this weather is nuts.
Quote from: Umiko Nixie on May 05, 2014, 08:15:47 AM
i'm pulling your leg. i would rather make my own. can be very picky with what i eat plus i could use the exercise
Haha, same. I never want anybody making sandwiches for me because they don't know what I do or don't like
Quote from: ethereal-ineffability on May 05, 2014, 09:03:27 AM
Haha, same. I never want anybody making sandwiches for me because they don't know what I do or don't like
even my mom, MY MOM, the ine person who knows exactly what i like, i still wont let her make my food. ;D but i am thinking i am hungry. time to eat!
Quote from: Umiko Nixie on May 05, 2014, 09:05:12 AM
even my mom, MY MOM, the ine person who knows exactly what i like, i still wont let her make my food. ;D but i am thinking i am hungry. time to eat!
Same here, I am REALLY hungry and most people eat in about an hour from now but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to! I work from 8 to 3 today and since I'm a student worker who usually gets very short shifts (3 hours at most) I've never really had to think about lunch breaks before. The only reason I got so many more hours today is because it's finals week and I'm the only one without finals.
The dining hall closes at 2 though, so I'm sure it'd be okay if I slipped out for half an hour, right?
God, you know, the legal stuff with transition never seems to end. -_- Just when you think you've changed everything over, remnants of the old name still float around. I changed my name THREE YEARS AGO, and just today, I changed 3 more things.
I'm not sure how I feel about all this breast growth..I'm a 30B which isn't huge but it's pretty noticeable for my weight and frame which are both very small (I wear XS shirts, let's put it that way). And they're like...round and...cleavagey.
And what's more is I'm only 6 months back on HRT, so I still have more growing left. My mom is unnaturally large...she's 5'7 and I think she said she was 108 lbs at age 16 and a D cup..she's now out of the D cups. Godddamn Italian genes. It wouldn't be bad if I wasn't so gender messed..
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 06, 2014, 01:51:13 PMI'm not sure how I feel about all this breast growth..I'm a 30B which isn't huge but it's pretty noticeable for my weight and frame which are both very small (I wear XS shirts, let's put it that way). And they're like...round and...cleavagey.
And what's more is I'm only 6 months back on HRT, so I still have more growing left. My mom is unnaturally large...she's 5'7 and I think she said she was 108 lbs at age 16 and a D cup..she's now out of the D cups. Godddamn Italian genes. It wouldn't be bad if I wasn't so gender messed..
Perhaps it is the Italian genes, my mother and her mother are both DD and less than 5'6"
I could be in trouble. Then again, to keep things proportional, a C or D would be good for 6'3"
I was surprised at my growth, 4 weeks in they weren't big, but they were properly shaped. I thought that was really quick.
Now, about that body hair...
That's something Italian genes don't help with.
hah, it turns out that my new roommate's boss(we work for the same company) had told her last year that I was trans, so no issues there. She did ask me if I had any problem with her being lesbian, lol.
Quote from: Lauren5 on May 06, 2014, 02:47:29 PM
Perhaps it is the Italian genes, my mother and her mother are both DD and less than 5'6"
I could be in trouble. Then again, to keep things proportional, a C or D would be good for 6'3"
I was surprised at my growth, 4 weeks in they weren't big, but they were properly shaped. I thought that was really quick.
Now, about that body hair...
That's something Italian genes don't help with.
Yeah, I just asked and my mom is 5'6 and 42DDDD haha...so, yeah.
But I got lucky on the body hair. Barely any. My sisters didn't tho! My one sister has neck hair under her chin :o
Quote from: Abbyxo on May 06, 2014, 04:07:24 PMYeah, I just asked and my mom is 5'6 and 42DDDD haha...so, yeah.
But I got lucky on the body hair. Barely any. My sisters didn't tho! My one sister has neck hair under her chin :o
Why does America keep extending the D rather than making sense, like what we have as DD be E, DDD be F, and DDDD be G? Like, it makes no sense.
Neither I nor my sister did. We're both on the hairier side. Like for me, it's pretty stereotypically Italian male. Grrr. I'd much prefer to smell of garlic and make pizzas all day :P
Actually, this weekend (after I clean the kitchen) I'm going to invite some friends over to make pita pizzas, with hummus as the sauce, put on pine nuts, tomatoes, roasted garlic, cucumbers, and crumble feta over the top. Mmm, de-lish.
I'm also going to make a Corsican sauce one time. Now that I have a kitchen, I'm going to use it, damn it!
I don't know if we have any pots, though. Dishes must be done as well.
Hi friends :)
Guess what time it is... Time to go to the What are you thinking? 8.0 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,164466.msg1420646.html#msg1420646) and keep those thoughts rollin'
Hugs
V M