Jasmine smells so good
This smooth, relaxed singing style really sounds weird, like a cross between a lounge singer and a stoned hippie.
I found a website that delivers food (grocery) within the city.
Thank God I live in the age of the internet. It isn't that I am lazy, it's that our transit is terrible, and so crowded, you're lucky if you can carry grocery bags on the trains or bus without it spilling or someone stepping on it.
My hero of the month: Rex Power Colt. He's such a manly man.
i want to take some time off. A lot of time off. Pure tranquility.....
I think it time for a new version of this topic!
i should do (CENSORED) more often. I feel great.
Uh, i feel so weak. If i fall over in a couple of minutes, i won't be surprised afterwards. I love it. It makes me sleepy and weak, but also euphoric and numb at the same time, probably thanks to it interacting with something else i need. I have passed out from this before.....
It's pretty bad when a public bus driver tells you that you need to work on your drivers license lol.
Today was such a "Monday", I completely sucked at work today. *Sigh* Now I don't feel like cooking.
Our county paper only comes out three times a week, usually there are 5-10 obits in each one, especially the Sunday edition, but I noticed today that Sunday's paper said "No obituaries" in the box where they were usually initially listed on the front page. Just seemed odd with several nursing homes, mediocre hospital and the criminals we have.
Ugh, Westboro Baptist Church (http://www.buzzfeed.com/lilyhiottmillis/westboro-baptist-church-misspells-illiterate-on-flyer-accusi) is coming to my state soon to protest same-sex marriage becoming legal here. I hope there's counter-protestors. . .
I didn't pass out last night. I am feeling very weak though.
Amuro Namie's album 'Break the Rules' is actually better than I thought it'd be. Glad I chose it now.
I wish magic was real.
Quote from: Edge on July 23, 2013, 09:49:01 AM
I wish magic was real.
I would so enlist at the mages guild and learn how to summon daedra and how to fortify charm. "Hello, can i have this iphone for free?" "I love you, you're marvellous, have the whole store!"
or
how about the ability to summon Haskill, the servant of Sheogorath as my servant. Hehe.
Listen, Learn, Read On (is the title of an awesome song by Deep Purple. It opens the album "The Book Of Taliesyn and invokes images of some weird cult in my mind)
In ages past when spells were cast
In a time of men in steel
When a man was taught no special thing
It was all done by feel
So listen, so learn, so read on
You gotta turn the page, read the Book of Taliesyn
Hear the song of lovely Joan
Her sound so sweet and clear
In the courtroom of the King
Among children and the peers
So listen, so learn, so read on
You gotta turn the page, read the Book of Taliesyn
"Now hear ye the words of Taliesyn,
on the foaming beach of the ocean,
in the day of trouble,
I shall be of more service to thee
than three hundred salmon..."
The hare he bounds across the page
Past castles white and fair
Past dreaming chessmen on their boards
With a fool's mate as a snare
So listen, so learn, so read on
You gotta turn the page, read the Book of Taliesyn
"Three times I have been born
I know this from meditation..."
The bird he flies the distance
From pages two to six
Past minstrels in their boxes
To the waters of the Styx
So listen, so learn, so read on
You gotta turn the page, read the Book of Taliesyn
Don't take the pictures lightly
Listen to their sound
For from their coloured feeling
Experience is found
So listen, so learn, so read on
You gotta turn the page, read the Book of Taliesyn
"All the sciences of the world are collected in my breast,
for I know what has been, what is now,
and what hereafter will occur..."
I love Susans. There are many sites out there but none like this one.
There's an evil prince sitting in the corner of my room eating a still steaming pig. He showed me his wood carvings earlier and i must say, his carving style is well-rehearsed. I told him so and he stood up and shouted like the deranged wild-man fischer wannabe he is: "ALL MEN BE CURSED! ALL MEN BE CURSED!" And on my bed lies a sinister little midget with a bucket and a mop, right next to where the blood goes down the drain. Who are they? Are they crazy? Are they sainted? Are they zeros someone painted? And it is stinking so bad in my room, the stones outside are chokin and weeping greenish drops. The flies are all green and buzzing too in my dungeon of despair. And there is slime and rot and rats and snot and vomit on my floor and there are fifty ugly soldiers holding spears by my cupboard door.
Susans looks wider lol
Sometimes I can't tell if I am crazy/delusional or not. . . Like, I swear I turned off my laptop when I left for work this morning, then I come home and it's on and I can't log in by my super easy password and the hint says "Ask X, he might know" even though I swear my hint was just my password. So, I ask X and he's all like "IDK what you're talking about", then poof, mysteriously I am able to log in. I asked if he remotely changed it on me, and he basically says I am nuts. I've since disabled any remote access settings on my laptop, or at least I hope I did, but he swears he didn't download anything on my computer.
Crazy? ? ?
Quote from: Malachite on July 23, 2013, 07:09:11 PM
Susans looks wider lol
Yes it does, I couldn't think of a way to describe it, but you're right.
How long? How long until peace of mind?
I just realized I can't see the Just For Us and Sexuality forums.
Quote from: CalmRageMusic on July 23, 2013, 10:09:00 AM
I would so enlist at the mages guild and learn how to summon daedra and how to fortify charm. "Hello, can i have this iphone for free?" "I love you, you're marvellous, have the whole store!"
or
how about the ability to summon Haskill, the servant of Sheogorath as my servant. Hehe.
I want to be like Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time. Uber powerful, evil, and with my hands in everything.
I am God. Bow to me.
Quote from: Edge on July 23, 2013, 10:36:55 PM
I just realized I can't see the Just For Us and Sexuality forums.I want to be like Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time. Uber powerful, evil, and with my hands in everything.
They're in the subscriber section.
I think i might have a genuine problem.
Being Sara would probably make me feel even more uncomfortable than being "birthname", so why am I on here?
Quote from: LearnedHand on July 23, 2013, 07:26:55 PM
Sometimes I can't tell if I am crazy/delusional or not. . . Like, I swear I turned off my laptop when I left for work this morning, then I come home and it's on and I can't log in by my super easy password and the hint says "Ask X, he might know" even though I swear my hint was just my password. So, I ask X and he's all like "IDK what you're talking about", then poof, mysteriously I am able to log in. I asked if he remotely changed it on me, and he basically says I am nuts. I've since disabled any remote access settings on my laptop, or at least I hope I did, but he swears he didn't download anything on my computer.
Crazy? ? ?
Yes it does, I couldn't think of a way to describe it, but you're right.
First I thought something was wrong with my computer lol.
I'm thinking about Sunday where I told my sister and her cousin "jokingly" that I need to see a "psychiatrist" and that I actually have one in mind. My sister asks who and I told her that's not for her to know, she goes "I'll find out" and I told her "I'd like to see you try."
Even though I brought it up to them as a "joke" (when in reality, there is some truth in it), the way my sister said "I'll find out" kind of concerned me. She knows I'm trans and I'm sure she knows something is up but it makes me think if she would go as to try and stop me from doing what I need to do. I doubt it since she told me that I'm an adult but still.... She may be concerned with her image in my church and I know when the church members start seeing me with a flat chest they will ask her why I did that.
Too lazy to add to this
I can't wait for my base painting to dry so I can finish painting my picture. . . .ugh. . . I wish I had a hair dryer. . .
Lemmy Kilmister can do a remake of ANY song and make it sound awesome. I've said this before and I will keep saying it in the future. I am confident that there is not a single song on the planet that Lemmy Kilmister can't make sound awesome. I love that man.
I love Pammi Bai, I think I'll do a painting of him next cuz he's just such a badass.
My endo gave me the name and phone number of a psychologist he wants me to see to confirm I'm trans. I called yesterday and was told that she wasn't seeing new patients, but that the secretary would talk to her and get back to me this morning. I haven't heard back yet. I'll wait a day and then call again. I'd most likely just see her once unless she wants to draw it out.
They told me i was too young to be a space rider
Space Rider, you got me going,
Space Rider, you see me moving on,
Don Preston, synthesizer pioneer and all-around weirdo. Over 80 years old and still on-stage, even playing iPod keyboard solos at the "Grandmothers of Invention" concerts.
Don Preston solo - playing with iPod (4.2.2012) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSiq-YiglxQ#)
Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention - King Kong (1968 at BBC) 1/3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIk7VnVwBNo&list=PLA2DE5921D913F3DF#)
Tom Fowler - bass (actual Mothers member)
Don Preston (aka Dom DeWild)- keyboard (actual Mothers member)
Napoleon Murphy Brock - vocals (actual Mothers member)
Robbie "Seahag" Mangano - guitar
Chris Garcia - drums
They're really great. A shame i couldn't go to their concert near my home last year. One of the best Zappa tribute acts, 3 out of 5 members having played with him.
Title searches are so boring. . . :icon_blah:
Wondering if I could somehow block people from seeing my youtube feed, kind of made the mistake of messaging a real life friend, and then I saw my feed full of MTF videos and stuff... kind of weird now since just to see if he actually checks his youtube, I told him I'm gay(I'm actually straight... or maybe I am asexual?).. I don't think he is going to reply now.
Also wondering what instrument I should learn next, guess violin and guitar aren't enough for me. Maybe ukulele or bass guitar.. or piano, harmonica.. or just learn them all at some point...
Wow.. already bored and I just finished school for 2 weeks :o
By the way, I always am thinking of multiple things at once, sometimes I even think of really weird things that freak me out, like wondering what it would be like to jump out of a car, or think about just telling everyone about this whole trans thing.. even though that would hurt me in the future.
I shall stop now, before I make people go insane :) *pictures self as that one weird crazy girl from Firefly*
Quote from: matthewzguitarz on July 25, 2013, 01:50:23 PM
Wondering if I could somehow block people from seeing my youtube feed, kind of made the mistake of messaging a real life friend, and then I saw my feed full of MTF videos and stuff... kind of weird now since just to see if he actually checks his youtube, I told him I'm gay(I'm actually straight... or maybe I am asexual?).. I don't think he is going to reply now.
1. Click on your account name
2. Go to Youtube settings
3. Click on "privacy" on your left
4. Check the first two boxes under "like and subscriptions" and decide how you want to do your search and contacts.
5. Click on save when you're done.
Quote from: Malachite on July 25, 2013, 03:12:16 PM
1. Click on your account name
2. Go to Youtube settings
3. Click on "privacy" on your left
4. Check the first two boxes under "like and subscriptions" and decide how you want to do your search and contacts.
5. Click on save when you're done.
Eh, ended up just keeping it as it is, sure some of my extended family has already seen my youtube, and I decided I don't have anything to hide :) People will find out eventually, guess this could make it sort of easier since I will never be brave enough to tell people face to face, because then I have to see their expressions as I tell them :(
I came dancing across the water
with my synthie and guitar
Looking for a new sound
In the land of the rising sun
On the shore lay Nagasaki,
with its cherry trees and herbs
And the people often asked me,
what are you doing here
And the women all look beautiful,
and the men stay tall and strong,
And they sacrificed their J-pop,
so that music could go on
Pro-tools was just a legend,
auto-tune was never known,
and the people helped each other,
and they loved the Rolling Stones
And I know I don't want to live there,
but i love it more everyday,
and i still can't remember when,
or where i lost my way
I came dancing across the water,
rip-off, rip-off
that sounds killer!
I'm so sorry, Mr.Neil Young
Man, I keep getting obsessed with fictional characters who remind myself of and/or who I want to emulate. This time, it's a random character from Holes which is also a little embarrassing since it is a kids' book. I really want it to be time I like my own life instead of living vicariously through fictional characters. Why do I feel blocked from doing so?
Quote from: Edge on July 25, 2013, 09:44:53 PM
Man, I keep getting obsessed with fictional characters who remind myself of and/or who I want to emulate. This time, it's a random character from Holes which is also a little embarrassing since it is a kids' book. I really want it to be time I like my own life instead of living vicariously through fictional characters. Why do I feel blocked from doing so?
:O I do the same sometimes, except I picture myself as the weird crazy girl from firefly, since I am kind of like that.. Only I don't think I am crazy, or I could be if you ask some people. I rarely talk, but when I do.. I wonder how many people understand me.. or even hear it, since they almost always ask me to repeat it.
Anyways, I am no longer worried about how people will react when/if I tell them I am trans, but kind of upset since I can't think of a way to get rid of this "friend" now, except for maybe pretend to be checking him out(think he misunderstood me), or just ignoring him.
Quote from: matthewzguitarz on July 25, 2013, 11:26:56 PM
:O I do the same sometimes, except I picture myself as the weird crazy girl from firefly
River?
One of my friends just told me that he just assumed I was a guy (with the parts) right from the get go and, recently, another friend told me that a guy she knows automatically assumed I was a guy (with the parts) too. Holy crap. Here I was not being careful about outing myself because I assumed everyone could tell anyway.
Don't it ever get lonesome? Don't it ever get sad when you go out on the road?
When the P.A system eats it and the band plays some of the most terriblest sh!t you've ever known.
Zappa was really weird. Ending the show because one single person was not singing.
Should have just went on to Gamestop. Now I'll have to ask my mom if I could drive her car up there....with her in it of course.
-hisses- I hate driving.
this got me thinking about how stupid i am/was:
You say there ain't no use in livin'
'N it's all a waste of time
'N you wanna throw your life away, well
People that's just fine
Go ahead on 'n get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you get it right the first time
'Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide Chump
You say there ain't no light a-shinin'
Through the bushes up ahead
'N they all gonna be sorry
When they find out you are dead
I ain't gonna do no weepin'
Ain't no way I'll shed a tear
Just make sure you get it right the first time
Don't chump your suicide, my dear
Now maybe you're scared of jumpin'
'N poison makes you sick
But you really need attention
'N you need it pretty quick
Don't wanna mess your face up
Or we won't know if it's you
Aw, there's just so much to worry about
Now what you gonna do?
Go ahead on 'n get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you get it right the first time
'Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide Chump
Aw, chump it then
You say there ain't no use in livin'
'N it's all a waste of time
'N you wanna throw your life away, well
People that's just fine
Go ahead on 'n get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you get it right the first time
'Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide Chump
Now you say there ain't no light a-shinin'
Through the bushes up ahead
'N they all gwine be sorry
When they find out you are dead
I ain't gonna do no weepin'
Aw, there ain't no way I'll shed a tear
Just make sure you get it right the first time
Don't chump your suicide, my dear
Now maybe you're scared of jumpin'
'N poison makes you sick
But you really need attention
'N you need it pretty quick
Don't wanna mess your face up
Or we won't know if it's you
Aw, there's just so much to worry about
Now what you gonna do?
Go head on 'n get it over with then
Go head on 'n get it over with then
Go head on 'n get it over with then
Oh, why don't you kill yourself
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, I can't be bothered with your bush
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, think I'll go to the mini-bar
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
And I'll drink way too far
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, tear my eyes out with a corkscrew
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, I think I'll even smell Midget's shoes
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, you know it's too painful for me
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, can't take it no longer
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, gonna eat some worms
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Oh, gonna get some bad germs
(Go head on 'n get it over with then)
Go head on 'n get it over with then
Frank Zappa - Suicide Chump (Subtitulado en español) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXqx2xZr6Pk#)
or even better:
Suicide Chump 1978 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt_Sm-Yc34w#)
When i first saw you,
i did adore you,
and all your loving ways,
but then you went away,
but now you're back to stay,
and my love for you grows stronger every day
the closer you are,
the brighter the stars in the sky,
and darling i realize,
we'll always be in love
my heart skips a beat,
every time you and i meet,
my life, my love, my dear,
i can't defeat,
this yearning deep in my heart
Pure schmaltz as coming out of a rancid, dusty late 50's jukebox
This is the Central Scrutinizer.......the white zone is for loading and unloading only, if you have to load or unload go to the white zone..........
I visited my aunt and her husband today. It's actually kinda awful and embarrassing to think I've been there last two years ago... But my sort of an excuse was my transition process about to start back then. I guess I just didn't have the mental energy to deal with relatives or something. *shrug*
My aunt stuffed a pile of food in a plastic bag for me to take home, including home made lasagne. ouo Gotta eat that later...
I also started doodling my older characters, some dating all the way back to 2009. I just mostly wanted to see how they look in my current drawing style but now I really wanna do some real artwork of one couple. Considering one of them is my all-time favorite of my own characters, I've neglected them badly over the years.
MUST CORRECT THIS.
Aaaand I also had way too much fun with blueberries today. (http://lordlauri.tumblr.com/post/56541521922/alright-here-goes-mmmmmmppppfffffh-so-much)
I wish my father would put up or shut up. He's always making little comments about how I should have went into the medical field instead of criminal justice and he tells me it's not too late. When he goes into the medical field, so will I, but I know he won't. It seems like I can never please my parents.
Mental wounds and a broken spirit cannot simply be healed.
Whooaaa, I feel completely high right now, meditating is awesome, who needs drugs when all you need is about half an hour to yourself? :laugh:
Working at night again is kind of weird, but its only a few nights a week at least along with several day shifts. Extra money due to more overtime too, could definitely use that.
R.I.P J.J.Cale
Orange, green, red, and purple. I think that's the order of my favourite Starburts.
i'm glad i'm no longer suffering from anxiety attacks like i used to. They made working at school impossible at times.
I think I am going to make something from Somali Food Blog tomorrow for my lunch to take to work during the week. . . now, just which recipe? they all look so delicious. . .
Its a good thing my dog isn't green or he'd be dead already.
Live green dogs? That would be one weird trip. Cartoon Land
I'm referring to my inability to keep houseplants alive and healthy and the dogs good fortune that he isn't one. But then houseplants aren't inclined to annoy me when they want something, so they are quite easy to ignore long term.
Should I make mac n'cheese with beans n' wieners or take a nap and eat later at some rather odd hour?
I vote for the macandcheesybeenieweenie now!
Ah house plants, I don't have that issue as my family thinks I live in a indoor forest.
Virginia, mac n' cheese now, beans and franks at the odd hour. It makes for a happy medium. But for a rather gassy Seance.
Thank you both for your advise 8)
Well, it had to be done and someone had to do it... My only regret is forgetting to pick up a small can of pineapple for the beans and also adding a bit much green hot sauce on top of it all :o
But then again, some like it hot so all n' all it was quite tasty
Ooh, green hot sauce. yum!
I still like the chef.
Every time I hear a certain word around here, it starts a chain of thoughts which begin with the movie Firefox, starring Clint Eastwood.
And then this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shadetreecarshow.com%2Fimages%2FSR-71A_04.jpg&hash=a6ddd8be2540082123aaf6f78439decb141da64d)
Which finally leads to the movie Broken Arrow starring John Travolta and Christian Slater, and how Christian Slater is pretty cute. But so is Samantha Mathis.
I can't help it, it all just pops into my head. ;D
I feel bad about not signing in as often as I used to. I've had way too much going on the last few weeks! Combining social life, better focus at work, and less desire to be on computers after work means I don't come here as often :(
Quote from: Anna! on July 28, 2013, 09:05:52 AM
I feel bad about not signing in as often as I used to. I've had way too much going on the last few weeks! Combining social life, better focus at work, and less desire to be on computers after work means I don't come here as often :(
-hugs- I was wondering where you went to.
Quote from: Malachite on July 28, 2013, 09:10:03 AM
-hugs- I was wondering where you went to.
I ran through this with Zoe the other day :)
- Trivia on the 18th
- Game night on the 19th
- Art Fair on the 20th
- Lunch with friends / a housewarming party for other friends on the 21st
- Trivia on the 22nd (We qualified for finals, yay!)
- Trivia on the 24th
- Goodbye party for some friends going of to grad school on the 25th
- Playing with legos on the 26th
- Aunt and Uncle were in town for lunch, then laser tag yesterday.
- Later today are the trivia finals
I expect I'll eventually get some free time back :)
Quote from: Anna! on July 28, 2013, 09:18:46 AM
I expect I'll eventually get some free time back :)
Welcome to the world of being a adult Anna! You do realize your never going to get your free time back don't you??? ;)
Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 10:22:20 AM
Welcome to the world of being a adult Anna! You do realize your never going to get your free time back don't you??? ;)
A girl can hope! My time off from Susan's was nice for putting transition on autopilot and going about something resembling a "normal" life :)
Quote from: Anna! on July 28, 2013, 09:18:46 AM
- Playing with legos on the 26th
This is now proudly on display in my living room. Took me almost three days to complete:
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/970994_10102830437627123_1959014141_n.jpg)
Quote from: Anna! on July 28, 2013, 10:25:29 AM
A girl can hope! My time off from Susan's was nice for putting transition on autopilot and going about something resembling a "normal" life :)
Yeah we all hope for more time. Once I get done transitioning I hope to get some time back. But really some other thing will take its place. :-\
Quote from: Anna! on July 28, 2013, 10:29:35 AM
This is now proudly on display in my living room. Took me almost three days to complete:
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/970994_10102830437627123_1959014141_n.jpg)
I don't know what's worse the fact your displaying that in your living room? Or that I know exactly what that is and what movie/book it's from? :eusa_think:
Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 10:40:02 AM
I don't know what's worse the fact your displaying that in your living room? Or that I know exactly what that is and what movie/book it's from? :eusa_think:
I don't know why either has to be bad :P
Going to practice guitar quietly now. I saw something really weird on my way home from visiting my brother: a group of men taking turns plooking each other! Really weird and on a resting place nonetheless for everyone to see. There were several people there waiting dor their sex partners. Northrhine-Westphalia just keeps on surprising me.
The Zappas are a bunch of liars, so much more rare footage then they admit.
I know of:
Ulm 1978
Philadelphia 1980
New York 1980
Vienna 1988
But a normal fan will never get to see them, no, the Zappas let them rot.
Quote from: Anna! on July 28, 2013, 10:29:35 AM
This is now proudly on display in my living room. Took me almost three days to complete:
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/970994_10102830437627123_1959014141_n.jpg)
:D
I want the one ring, and make a collection of things.
Oh, and thank god my nephews are quiet now ::)
I'm glad I have the next couple days off, was starting to drag a bit today and my right ankle has bothered me the last several days. Tired of limping about.
Ugh. . . another painting to throw in the trash. What a waste of a day. :(
Horse colorations are confusing.
Especially since they're so different in English and Finnish. Take for example bay. It's called "ruunikko" in Finnish. D8
My next band will be named... Technicolor Disaster >:-)
Can you really be that busy? :/
"Gotham's Reckoning... is a good metal band." For some reason, I started thinking about "Superhero Speed Dating" and "Supervillain Speed Dating." Those are pretty funny.
Before that, I was remembering being homeless and how, at the time, I remembered hearing people talk about "rock bottom." My conclusion was that there is no bottom and, if there was, it wasn't rock and there was more underneath. No matter how bad I thought it was, it could (and sometimes did) get worse. But at the same time, I also found out that, as long as I was alive, I would find a way to pull myself up. Sorry if that sounds preachy or cheesy or something. I'm just being nostalgic. Also, I've been feeling stuck lately and it's put me in a funk, so I need to remind myself that I won't be here forever.
Take a load off fanny,
take a load for free,
take a load off fanny,
and put the load right on me
What are you staring at? >:(
Ending Sopranos like that, clever, funny, and annoying.
They're real. Spread the word. The angels are real. Please, spread the word. I'm not from 2013, i'm stuck in 2013.
Quote from: V M on July 29, 2013, 04:59:17 AM
My next band will be named... Technicolor Disaster >:-)
I had one of those after drinking too much at a block party in college. :-\
Quote from: Jamie D on July 29, 2013, 05:45:14 PM
I had one of those after drinking too much at a block party in college. :-\
A band or a technicolor disaster?
Quote from: CalmRageMusic on July 29, 2013, 09:39:26 AM
Take a load off fanny,
take a load for free,
take a load off fanny,
and put the load right on me
What are you staring at? >:(
It is amazing how many different meanings "Fanny" has in the English language.
Quote from: Edge on July 29, 2013, 05:46:30 PM
A band or a technicolor disaster?
A rather embarrassing incident having to do with projectile vomiting.
We thought that "The Ramones" were going to be performing. Instead, it was some schlep called "Ramon and his L.A. Band" Can you blame me for getting totally 'faced?
Quote from: Jamie D on July 29, 2013, 05:50:17 PM
A rather embarrassing incident having to do with projectile vomiting.
We thought that "The Ramones" were going to be performing. Instead, it was some schlep called "Ramon and his L.A. Band" Can you blame me for getting totally 'faced?
Crikey!
Sounds awful, i say.
I'm thinking that I have absolutely no idea how to form a meaningful connection with another person, so I might as well get used to being alone.
Quote from: spacerace on July 29, 2013, 06:11:41 PM
I'm thinking that I have absolutely no idea how to form a meaningful connection with another person, so I might as well get used to being alone.
I am never alone. I may be the last of my kind but i'm never alone. Even when i'm alone.
Quote from: CalmRageMusic on July 29, 2013, 06:12:49 PM
I am never alone. I may be the last of my kind but i'm never alone. Even when i'm alone.
I try this tactic sometimes, and it can work sitting alone with no one else around. It is even comforting. But then I realize it is not true, that life is unbelievably richer when you share something with someone else. I think about dying alone, or what 40 years in the future will be like without sharing it with anyone.
Quote from: spacerace on July 29, 2013, 06:22:08 PM
I try this tactic sometimes, and it can work sitting alone with no one else around. It is even comforting. But then I realize it is not true, that life is unbelievably richer when you share something with someone else. I think about dying alone, or what 40 years in the future will be like without sharing it with anyone.
You will not be alone forever.
I am thinking about how much a love exercising, but I am kind of sick of taking showers. :-\
Quote from: spacerace on July 29, 2013, 06:22:08 PM
I try this tactic sometimes, and it can work sitting alone with no one else around. It is even comforting. But then I realize it is not true, that life is unbelievably richer when you share something with someone else. I think about dying alone, or what 40 years in the future will be like without sharing it with anyone.
It's kind of like what that old white dead dude said "If you hang yourself, you'll regret it. If you don't hang yourself, you'll still regret it". . . what's his name. . . When you're with someone, you think about how much better it'll be on your own, and when you're alone you feel lonely and want someone. That's how it is with me sometimes, though I typically prefer being alone, I like the freedom. It's just nice to have someone to go to dinner with or out to the movies once in awhile.
Edit it add:
"Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world's foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world's foolishness or weep over it, you will regret it either way; laugh at the world's foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it; believe a woman or believe her not, you will regret it either way; believing a woman or not believing her, you will regret it both ways. Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don't hang yourself, you'll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy."
― Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life
Quote from: LearnedHand on July 29, 2013, 06:47:10 PM
― Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life
That's a good Kierkegaard quote I appreciate you posting. I am pretty sure he lived his entire life alone writing under various pseudonyms after breaking off an engagement that influenced the rest of his life and his writing.
Kierkegaard makes me think of Hegel, who he hated and critiqued in a lot of his work. Hegel established his basic philosophy around the fact that we can only understand who we are through the contrast of our internal consciousness to the external presence of others. He ran with it in a different direction that I don't associate with, but I always interpreted this and related to it as we need other people to know ourselves. Being alone is stagnating.
Slept a good 11 hours last night and then another 4 hours this afternoon. Hope I sleep through the night tonight.
This organic lemonade I'm drinking is nasty.
Quote from: Malachite on July 29, 2013, 07:40:26 PM
This organic lemonade I'm drinking is nasty.
Some organic foods are just horrible lmao. I am pretty big into natural foods (except when I pig out on fast food...lol) but some of the stuff people make with organix ingredients just is not OK.
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on July 29, 2013, 06:05:50 AM
Can you really be that busy? :/
Yes. That, and I'm doing better at doing non-computer things after work, too (Maybe I'll finally finish Storm of Swords!)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floyd_D._Rose
See this guy? I want to f**cking kill him for inventing his stupid tremolo bridge. Can't tune my own guitar because i'm too weak bodily. Thanks, Mister.Rose.
Quote from: Anna! on July 30, 2013, 08:12:48 AM
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on July 29, 2013, 06:05:50 AM
Can you really be that busy? :/
Yes. That, and I'm doing better at doing non-computer things after work, too (Maybe I'll finally finish Storm of Swords!)
You can be really busy, but surely you can always find time. A short message, is that so much to ask for?
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on July 30, 2013, 12:44:09 PM
Yes. That, and I'm doing better at doing non-computer things after work, too (Maybe I'll finally finish Storm of Swords!)
You can be really busy, but surely you can always find time. A short message, is that so much to ask for?
I'll try. No promises :P
Maybe something like "The Lannisters send their regards" ?
Quote from: Anna! on July 30, 2013, 12:48:01 PM
I'll try. No promises :P
Maybe something like "The Lannisters send their regards" ?
Wishful thinking that i was complaining about you ;D
You still made me laugh though
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on July 30, 2013, 01:05:55 PM
Wishful thinking that i was complaining about you ;D
Well, I did disappear from here for a week and a half...
Quote from: Anna! on July 30, 2013, 01:08:35 PM
Well, I did disappear from here for a week and a half...
the same reason Agatha Christie disappeared.
Trust me, i'm the Doctor.
Quote from: Anna! on July 30, 2013, 01:08:35 PM
Well, I did disappear from here for a week and a half...
xD, I didn't even realize. (In other words, you haven't made an impression :P
Joking.)
I was originally going to say before Anna distracted me, i wonder what babies think. I am trying to be the first to get my second nephew to laugh, but i think i am scaring him :D
<.< >.>
I totally didn't ask a girl out. Nu-uh. Nope.
Having a man butt obsession right now, though not in a weird, sexual way. Some men just have very aesthetically-pleasing butts. ::)
Quote from: Arawn Bheur on July 30, 2013, 07:23:02 PM
<.< >.>
I totally didn't ask a girl out. Nu-uh. Nope.
How did it not go?
Quote from: Liam Erik on July 30, 2013, 07:41:03 PM
Dinner tonight is: lamb raised by me, smoked rabbits my granddad shot, sweet corn from the neighbors' garden, green beans from the back field, and our tomato supper dish for which I grew the tomatoes and the herbs. Oh, and after that, I'm eating my favorite blend of sour cherries picked by us, plums picked by us, and black raspberries from our woods. Tell me again why you wouldn't want to live in the country. I'm waitin'. :D
Fresh picked fruits are veggies are incredibly good. Store bought can't even compare.
Quote from: Sephirah on July 30, 2013, 08:45:03 PM
How did it not go?
It did not go well. :P
(She said yes, lol. x3)
Edit: That sounds like I asked her to marry me....I just asked her if she'd date me. xD
I am thinking about more job applications. I am scared for the moment when I actually get a call back, and...well, I don't look 24 so what if people just think I am a woman? I'm really scared to have to correct them at an interview and then have them realize "ohhhh it's a transgender." -_-
I hate trans visibility sometimes.
I wonder how well i cut the grass, i speeded through it in half an hour.
work is so boring today. two cups of coffee and i am still falling asleep at my desk
Metaphor for homophobia/transphobia: "Rid the world of butterflies as a hurricane prevention measure."
Maddy
I have never had a peanut butter and jam sandwich. I am considering trying it tomorrow for lunch.
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on July 31, 2013, 04:25:05 PM
I have never had a peanut butter and jam sandwich. I am considering trying it tomorrow for lunch.
What planet are you from?!?! ??? You'll love it, chunky PB is better IMO. :)
Quote from: LearnedHand on July 31, 2013, 04:38:40 PM
What planet are you from?!?! ??? You'll love it, chunky PB is better IMO. :)
Planet 51 ;D I prefer smooth peanut butter!
Curse you Steven Moffat.
Hello Boys And Girls, i'm Jimmy Carl Black and i'm the indian of the group.
Wowie Zowie!
My father says I'm selling junk online. I agree.
He's concerned that me selling crappy items raises a red flag because as he puts it "why would anyone go so far to buy junk?" he wants me to sell higher quality things.
I've heard of people being shot and killed on Craigslist trying to sell their ipad/gold/jewrely but I've never heard of anyone being murdered on Craigslist trying to sell broken toys with missing parts and batteries or a poster with a broken frame.
I agree to be careful regardless, but my father thinks just because he's older that I am wrong in everything.
I'd be a little more concerned trying to sell the high quality goods than things that the Goodwill would not even take.
GLaDOS is chasing after me. I'm still alive, though.
I think my mom blames my dad for me being trans lol. She was saying how she is still angry that he shaved my head as punishment in the 5th grade, and said "He didn't think about the long-term consequences of his actions."
If you work at the Planter's Peanuts facility does that make you a nutter?
Quote from: NeutronOilflowCyberCurrywurst on July 31, 2013, 08:09:45 PM
GLaDOS is chasing after me. I'm still alive, though.
Portal songs are now stuck in my head. >.<
Quote from: Liam Erik on July 31, 2013, 08:31:40 PM
This made me laugh. And I got my first short haircut in 5th grade too - correlation!
I even told her "well, I did cry the first night but it didn't have any consequences...I didn't get teased or anything." And she said "well, I'm glad you see it that way but I can never let that go!"
It really is kinda sick to shave your kid's head as punishment but I got over it, he's done much worse things. :P But I did get the sense she thinks it made me trans.
Two concurrent thoughts:
1) I'm irked by a friend's nonchalant reaction to my dropping the news.
2) I'm irked that I'm irked. Nonchalant is GOOD, right??
Maddy
Hold me tight, tonight, and then i might never be the lonely one.
Quote from: LearnedHand on July 31, 2013, 04:38:40 PM
What planet are you from?!?! ??? You'll love it, chunky PB is better IMO. :)
Planet Claire (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AOKPTbZEyA#)
Has my Nan still got her DS.
Thankfully i don't have to go to my appointment today.
It's so hot.
Things are moving really fast right now. Momentum's gonna break my neck.
Maddy
In a battle between Joel fron The Last of Us and Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series. someone on Facebook chose Joel because Drake never fought zombies....
They have obviously never played the first Uncharted.
I should buckle down and purchase one of the 20+ acre parcels I've had my eye on. I am beyond ready to go back to country living.
Quote from: Ketchup Packet on July 29, 2013, 09:24:36 PM
Some organic foods are just horrible lmao. I am pretty big into natural foods (except when I pig out on fast food...lol) but some of the stuff people make with organix ingredients just is not OK.
Agreed-alone this tastes like lemon with dry corn but mixing it with some cran-rasberry juice helps.
Sometimes I am afraid that I never left the '90s. . . . :-\
Why my art is so adult these days?
I rarely get anything done that's approrpiate for deviantART. @_@
>.> I don't think you have to worry about what you put on DA. I've seen things that are pretty much porn on there.
___
My dog's still sick. =(
I am thinking that I am sad that I look so young. I pass pretty much all the time, but I can't say that will be the case once I have to be at university again. I look too young to pass as one of the guys. People are either going to think I am a butch woman, spot me as trans, or think I'm too young to be their TA.
I am thinking about faeries. Mostly of the púca, each-uisge, and troll varieties.
This pretty much sums up what I'm thinking about right now.
Adventure Time BMO's Pregnant Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixXU1fngoyI#)
And this sums up what I'm think about afterwards. o.O
Lemongrab 1 and 2 Doll Scene (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipsnaxBQfqE#)
Have you been smoking some weed?
Certainly not, smoking is badddddddddddddd
I almost freak out as the power cut out but then within minutes it came back on ???
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 02, 2013, 05:39:30 AM
I almost freak out as the power cut out but then within minutes it came back on ???
Ahh, your situation reminds me of this.
[18+ only] Extremely Scary Ghost Elevator Prank in Brazil! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk1SN-79-b8#)
It Won't Be Long Before The Sun King Comes And Takes You On A Magical Mystery Tour In A Yellow Submarine.
But only if you're a rich man, baby.
There's battle lines being drawn
And nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on August 02, 2013, 05:43:14 AM
Ahh, your situation reminds me of this.
[18+ only] Extremely Scary Ghost Elevator Prank in Brazil! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk1SN-79-b8#)
I love this prank, seen it before. I have to wonder why no one becomes hostile.
I wanna be your lover baby,
i wanna be your man,
i wanna be your lover baby,
i wanna be your man
tell me that you love me baby,
make me understand,
tell me that you love me baby,
i wanna be your man
She's got the devil in her heart,
oh no no no, this i can't believe.
Big Swifty and associates, trendmonger.
This song captures my life perfectly. Wow. :eusa_boohoo:
Little Person - Jon Brion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKQqxt7xd20#)
Maddy
Well i followed her to the station,
with a suitcase in my hands,
Yeah i followed her to the station,
with a suitcase in my hands.
Quote from: Arawn Bheur on August 01, 2013, 09:13:34 PM
>.> I don't think you have to worry about what you put on DA. I've seen things that are pretty much porn on there.
I've seen pretty mature stuff there, too. The thing is, nude male artwork gets reported very easily even without any sexual content while nude female artwork can be clearly sexual and no one reports it. It's the mecca for penor phobics.
My dog is barking at me. She doesn't like being in my room, she's in my room because it's the coolest in temperature.
I bought a blu starter pack today, gonna see how I do on the electronic cigs and see if I can lower the nicotine content over time. At least I won't have to smell the nasty part of it anymore.
Im thinking I need to trim the back of my hair (which I am growing out) or It will start to look like a mcguyver mullet.
Maybe time for dye too...
I'mma eat you Freddy the frog :3
Peculiar thoughts that will either entertain or frighten most others :laugh: >:-) :laugh: That and I need to get more sleep
It definitely doesn't take long to go through a paycheck paying bills and ordering meds. I'm a tad over halfway through it now and still need to get my tag renewed, car inspected, oil changed and get groceries.
Quote from: Tossu-sama on August 02, 2013, 08:58:12 AM
I've seen pretty mature stuff there, too. The thing is, nude male artwork gets reported very easily even without any sexual content while nude female artwork can be clearly sexual and no one reports it. It's the mecca for penor phobics.
Yeah. =( But I report most nude artwork that is there solely for the purpose of pornography (not that yours is). >.>
__
So, I'm happy. x3 It's nice to be in a relationship with me who's in the same boat I am (more-or-less).
I suppose what I really want is to start one of those self indulgent all abt me threads. It's ridiculous as I don't feel other people's issues are stupid but, no, mine are pathetic and to start a thread about anything to do with my life would be wasting other people's time. I am near the edge. You know when, if you are not crying, then you can barely stop from crying all day everyday. You know that if you get out of this alive then you will have traded your soul.
Quote from: Arawn Bheur on August 02, 2013, 04:37:37 PM
Yeah. =( But I report most nude artwork that is there solely for the purpose of pornography (not that yours is). >.>
I just leave them be. I'm more interested in reporting art thieves anyway.
And I do have some pretty explicit stuff there but I have censored them, more or less, and I submit them because I like how they turned out overall. If I want to get them online for the sake of p0rnz, I use other sites. :P
Two days without smoking, woooo.
Counting out e-cigarette, of course.
I like creepiness.
Quote from: Akira21 ♡♡♡ on August 02, 2013, 06:32:31 PM
I suppose what I really want is to start one of those self indulgent all abt me threads. It's ridiculous as I don't feel other people's issues are stupid but, no, mine are pathetic and to start a thread about anything to do with my life would be wasting other people's time. I am near the edge. You know when, if you are not crying, then you can barely stop from crying all day everyday. You know that if you get out of this alive then you will have traded your soul.
You wouldn't be wasting anyone's time, hon. If you feel there's something you want to put out there to get other people's insight on... go for it. That's what we're here for, after all. You're just as important as anyone else. And your issues are important to you, that makes them important. Period.
*gives you a big hug*
You don't have to go through things alone.
Went to my sister's graduation and really enjoyed the speaker. His words touched me concerning my transition. What he basically said was that the graduates are the CEO of their own lives and we must do what will make us happy and not live for anyone else because they can't live for us.
Darn I wish I could of brought that speech.
My mom gave both my sister and me $20 for graduating. I joked with my mom and told her i was going to spend it on alcohol to celebrate but she said no it neds to go with my other stash of money to collect dust. I think I will put it in my top surgery fund since it was somewhat unexpected. Idk though.
I like that my new neighbors are people I already knew and that I can actually be friends with them, unlike the previous ones. Still hate that we had to sell the place when we were rebuilding this house though.
I smashed a fly with my hand and then wrapped him in some chewed bubble gum.
I feel so manly.
I hate how there's only gay mens bars around here, where the hell are all the lesbians? ??? I just want to meet some chicks. :( There was a gay club that had lesbian nights, but it got closed a few years ago because some people got shot there, now I don't know where to go and all the lgbt nightlife websites are like five years out-of-date. Grr. . . . Well, probably for the best, isn't it kind of pathetic going to a club or bar by yourself anyways?
I'm dating such a sweet girl. x3 I don't if it's love, but she's so fantastic. <3
A fly landed in my drink....not cool.
Sometimes i miss living in the Netherlands. It's so difficult getting decent Kroketjes, Frikandel, Kipkorn, Cassis (soft-drink), stroopwafels and such here. Now there's 30 minutes of driving involved. It used to be 3 to 5 minutes. At least it's only 30 minutes.
My son is memorizing one of his books. He also did a forward roll and landed on my head.
Trying to organize my thoughts is difficult.
How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
How did you feel when you were there?
Baby, you're a rich man.
Quote from: Edge on August 03, 2013, 10:09:17 AM
My son is memorizing one of his books. He also did a forward roll and landed on my head.
Trying to organize my thoughts is difficult.
This reminds me of my son. He's a very kinaesthetic learner and moves constantly while he reads. He also has a long history of headbutting me.
Maddy
Quote from: MadeleineG on August 03, 2013, 05:19:23 PM
This reminds me of my son. He's a very kinaesthetic learner and moves constantly while he reads. He also has a long history of headbutting me.
Mine too! They really hurt too. He also has a history of jumping on me. He goes on time now whenever he does though. It is very painful.
By the way, I love the "fairy princess with a death ray" thing.
I don't know how much longer I can work with such bigots without calling them out. Time to look for a new job I suppose. . .
Quote from: Edge on August 03, 2013, 05:29:21 PM
Mine too! They really hurt too. He also has a history of jumping on me. He goes on time now whenever he does though. It is very painful.
By the way, I love the "fairy princess with a death ray" thing.
When B was three, climbing on my shoulders and head was a mild inconvenience. Now he's seven and unless it stops, he's going to dislocate my vertebrae.
I love it, too. :D Thank you for the feedback. It's a reference to this Cul-de-Sac comic strip:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets.amuniversal.com%2Fdac63020e8ba012feed7001dd8b71c47&hash=d12197ed70f87c2efc7df78b37700423fdbe64e1)
Quote from: MadeleineG on August 03, 2013, 05:36:14 PM
When B was three, climbing on my shoulders and head was a mild inconvenience. Now he's seven and unless it stops, he's going to dislocate my vertebrae.
I love it, too. :D Thank you for the feedback. It's a reference to this Cul-de-Sac comic strip:
O is almost four and I swear he has bricks for bones. Seriously, the difference in weight between a friend of his around the same age and him is huge. He's not fat either. Just dense (in a mass way, not a mind way).
That is really cool.
Quote from: Edge on August 03, 2013, 05:40:27 PM
O is almost four and I swear he has bricks for bones. Seriously, the difference in weight between a friend of his around the same age and him is huge. He's not fat either. Just dense (in a mass way, not a mind way).
That is really cool.
B isn't heavy, but he is absurdly fast. And absolutely fearless. I took him to the mountains last month and couldn't take my eyes off him for a second. Literally, one second of lapsed attention and he'd be ten feet above me, scaling a boulder or up the embankment.
I use little Alice from the comic as my avatar because she reminds me of the blissful days of childhood gender obliviousness.
Maddy
Quote from: MadeleineG on August 03, 2013, 06:07:52 PM
I use little Alice from the comic as my avatar because she reminds me of the blissful days of childhood gender obliviousness.
I like those days.
Just hinted to my sisters that I plan on having top surgery. They chastized me for coming to my sister's get together with no bra on and my sister started grabbing at my breast telling me how jiggly they were and I told her enjoy them while you can and she asked "why are you planning on cutting them off and getting a transformation?".
I still can't believe I hinted that to them. That will probably be the last time I do that, as my transition does not concern them. At this point, the only person I need to concern myself with is my mother, considering I live with her and heck if she doesn't approve, I'm out if I can't get it done under her roof.
At any rate, I'm just starting to care less about wearing a bra out in public. My sister said our sister's father will be there and her husband. I honestly don't care. It's not my problem. Why should I have to wear a bra? Now when I go to important stuff that's different, but still. I really cannot wait to get top surgery so I won't have to deal with this bra nonsense.
Quote from: Malachite on August 03, 2013, 06:59:17 PM
Just hinted to my sisters that I plan on having top surgery. They chastized me for coming to my sister's get together with no bra on and my sister started grabbing at my breast telling me how jiggly they were and I told her enjoy them while you can and she asked "why are you planning on cutting them off and getting a transformation?".
I still can't believe I hinted that to them. That will probably be the last time I do that, as my transition does not concern them. At this point, the only person I need to concern myself with is my mother, considering I live with her and heck if she doesn't approve, I'm out if I can't get it done under her roof.
At any rate, I'm just starting to care less about wearing a bra out in public. My sister said our sister's father will be there and her husband. I honestly don't care. It's not my problem. Why should I have to wear a bra? Now when I go to important stuff that's different, but still. I really cannot wait to get top surgery so I won't have to deal with this bra nonsense.
Oh man, I am so sorry they did that to you! Some people have no concept of boundaries or appropriateness. That's actually disgusting.
I'm thinking that I'm getting really pissed off with my brother. I helped him with his homework in exchange for his help with stuff, and he keeps putting it off or doing piss poor work. I also took my Xbox headphones back from him, and he's taken them back, without asking, and he's yelling at his stupid little friends in them while I'm trying to nap.
Neither a lender or a borrower be.
Quote from: Ketchup Packet on August 03, 2013, 07:27:06 PM
Oh man, I am so sorry they did that to you! Some people have no concept of boundaries or appropriateness. That's actually disgusting.
I tried not to thnik about it and not let it get to me. I've done it to them before in the past, but not on someone else's property.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 03, 2013, 07:02:14 PM
Unfortunately, I never had that experience.
My early childhood was pretty gender fluid. I had long, flowing hair, an undifferentiated family collection of costume clothes and toys, and habitually wore nail polish.
There's also an infamous home movie of me from about age four where I'm explain and demonstrate how I breastfeed my doll while the adults laugh their asses off.
Things changed at around age six or seven when the door got slammed hard on my gender non-conformity.
Maddy
I'm bummed out over what happened last night with Caleb. He was hurting pretty badly from the visit with his neighbor. I havent seen him this sad in a very long time. I wish I could give him a big, squishy hug and tell him it will get better. I hate that all I can do is listen. And I want to give his brother a swift kick to the groin for being the douche bag he is becoming.
Today I was grilling burgers when some jackass in a pickup drove by yelling "freak" at me. he was probably just pissed because a chick can use a grill better than his sorry butt.
Quote from: Keaira on August 03, 2013, 08:58:39 PM
Today I was grilling burgers when some jackass in a pickup drove by yelling "freak" at me. he was probably just pissed because a chick can use a grill better than his sorry butt.
-_- That mf.
I wish I had a house already. :3 I've lately had an obsession with keeping pet fish. I really wanna build a big fish pond in either my backyard or frontyard (leaning towards frontyard). I wouldn't have an aquarium though, I think they're cruel unless they're one of those really big, restuarant aquariums that can't fit in your house. But having my own fish pond would be fracking awesome. ^.^
I am sick as crap of going into a liberal place like uni and getting misgendered left, right, and centre. These are the people who have education and exposure to difference, but they handle it the worst. They're all "SHE....UHHH heeee ummm whatever soooooorry haha I know lots of trans people so I know it's important!" Funny, I can go to conservative places and not get misgendered once, but the supposed enlightened liberals can't get it right for whatever reason and somehow can "spot" me.
Well I am about ready to punch someone in the face. Yeah, you know what, if I still wasn't passing, I'd get it. I looked like a girl before hormones and well into them, I won't ever deny that. But when I have a male TSA officer pat down my boobs and not flinch, when I get "sir", "buddy," "young lad", "man" EVERYWHERE I go, I'm starting to smell some serious BS. You know so many trans people? You're soooo open-minded? THEN YOU'D THINK YOU'D GET IT RIGHT!!! Sometimes I think being open-minded just leaves room for it all to fall out.
Last night I felt dysphoric, thinking "of course they spotted me, I look like a woman." But no. That's dysphoria talking. I DO NOT look like a woman anymore. I do not sound like a woman. I look like a teenage boy. My own FAMILY doesn't recognize my voice and thinks I am my teenage brother on the phone (not the gay one lol). Family who have known me my whole life. So, yeah, no. Anyone who thinks a woman would look like me is looking too hard. There is no reason to even have the word "she" register in your head anymore.
I am really really angry about this. I am past the point of being seen as a lesbian, anyone that deducts that I was female-born now assumes I am trans. And if they can spot that, they know enough about trans people to not screw up my pronouns. Seriously. But no. They're thinking "ohhhh this is a trans person, a female born, but now male! Gasp! How fascinating! Lived as a woman! So it was a girl that now wants to be a guy.......wonder what that's like......" Sometimes I think, I'm an academic fascination instead of someone who is actually accepted for who they are.
Just sick of it and ready to bust some heads.
Time to stop being lazy and get off my butt and find a job.
If i had enough money i would so get a laser record player, they cost 10.000 or 100.000 dollars, so i'll never have one.
I want to do a Jake Muller cosplay.
Pondering the fallout if I accidentally sign a workplace e-mail Maddy, prematurely.
I don't remember changing my sig to a "success" by choice. o.O
Now that I've gotten through going out in public with a group, I'm going to try going grocery shopping on my own. Wish me luck!
Quote from: Anna! on August 04, 2013, 06:50:12 PM
Now that I've gotten through going out in public with a group, I'm going to try going grocery shopping on my own. Wish me luck!
Good luck. You're on a roll!
"Connie and Carla" is a silly movie. xD
Quote from: MadeleineG on August 04, 2013, 06:52:44 PM
Good luck. You're on a roll!
I'm back without a problem! This has been a big weekend for me :D
Quote from: Anna! on August 04, 2013, 08:00:27 PM
I'm back without a problem! This has been a big weekend for me :D
Maddy is living vicariously through Anna's triumphs!
Quote from: MadeleineG on August 04, 2013, 08:01:49 PM
Maddy is living vicariously through Anna's triumphs!
Go for it, but I'm sure you'll be able to reach my point soon enough!
It turns out my son is a huge Labyrinth fan.
I don't want to go to work tomorrow. :( It's time to look for another job.
Great. . . now this song is going to be stuck in my head all night:
todd rundgren - bang on the drum all day (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZclddLcOYYA#)
Quote from: LearnedHand on August 04, 2013, 09:02:00 PM
I don't want to go to work tomorrow. :( It's time to look for another job.
Great. . . now this song is going to be stuck in my head all night:
todd rundgren - bang on the drum all day (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZclddLcOYYA#)
I didn't know that was a real song. Funny.
I am totally in love with official lyric videos, like the professionally done videos released by the artist, not the amateurish ones where its just text on a solid colored background.
Katy Perry - "E.T." (feat. Kanye West) Official Lyrics Video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OehxXNCYvTM#)
I got a call today from an employer 3 hours away. The interview went fairly well. I'm supposed to be getting a dqll back from one of their technicians to talk further. I hate working in plastics. Anyway, you know you pass when the guy interviewing you asks, " Does your husband work?"
I was silent for a moment and said, "No... But he is in Muncie for a few days." I felt awkward as heck answering that one.
Quote from: Keaira on August 05, 2013, 12:05:10 PM
" Does your husband work?"
Can they legally ask that where you live? Creepy.
Quote from: MadeleineG on August 05, 2013, 01:12:43 PM
Can they legally ask that where you live? Creepy.
That's what I was thinking.
Well, he was wondering if I would consider relocating. I said I would have to ask my spouse. That's when he asked.
It's a natural question to ask in conversation, but unless the rules are quite different, that shouldn't be kosher for an interview.
Maddy
Not bitty now, bitty later.
Quote from: Keaira on August 05, 2013, 01:41:24 PM
Well, he was wondering if I would consider relocating. I said I would have to ask my spouse. That's when he asked.
Ah, that makes a bit more sense.
I need to get out of the house, but I've kept myself in here so long that my anxiety is terrible again. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't get misgendered, now I'm convinced that everyone everywhere is going to think I am female. -_-
I hope those six Singhs and Kaurs are having a better life this cycle. WJKK WJKF
Got asked out by a guy today, of course, I turned him down politely. Apparently he thought I was pretty and he kept looking at me. Being asked out still weirds me out a little...
My sister said that she loved her high school graduation because the speaker was really good. She said that was the year Lion King came out and the speaker said some great advice related to that. I asked her did that come out when I was born in 92 and she got irritated and said no it was 95 or something like that.
Quote from: Malachite on August 05, 2013, 10:01:32 PM
My sister said that she loved her high school graduation because the speaker was really good. She said that was the year Lion King came out and the speaker said some great advice related to that. I asked her did that come out when I was born in 92 and she got irritated and said no it was 95 or something like that.
That makes me feel kind of old.
Quote from: Queen Ralph on August 05, 2013, 10:04:03 PM
That makes me feel kind of old.
That's pretty why she got mad at me. She can get very touchy when it comes to age.
Roosterzilla?
I'm thinking I really don't want to get in the shower, get ready, and go to the Endo this morning.
Learning German is slow going, I am impatient, and I am worried about how horrible my pronunciation is, but I've already gotten to the point where I want to think, speak, and write in german after my studying.
Also, I want to learn Swedish and Norwegian. It was going to be just Norwegian, but the more I hear people speak in Swedish, the more I want to learn it.
Ever have those languages where you feel you should be able to speak and understand them even though you don't?
The intro to the MW 2 "No Russian" mission. Shephard played that part good.
Quote from: Malachite on August 06, 2013, 12:39:49 PM
The intro to the MW 2 "No Russian" mission. Shephard played that part good.
The number of people who use the word good where they should use the word well is too high
just bugging ya
Quote from: CaseyB on August 06, 2013, 12:45:20 PM
The number of people who use the word good where they should use the word well is too high
just bugging ya
k
Kaybomb, how can you not find the reply button ??? :D
I've got two pet sitting jobs. :) Yay!
On a sadder note, my fish are feeling a little ill =(
Ahhh Ani DiFranco ( :-* ) is coming in November, me want to go! Now to find someone to drag along. . .
After I get done watching Chris and Pier's and Ada's campaign on RE 6 I may just go watch and watch Jake and Sherry's campaign again.
Quote from: Malachite on August 06, 2013, 08:53:44 PM
After I get done watching Chris and Pier's and Ada's campaign on RE 6 I may just go watch and watch Jake and Sherry's campaign again.
You've watched but not played? Ahhh. I haven't played Ada's yet. Keaira and I co-oped on the first 3 but didn't know you could do it on Ada's too. I asked her to do it but she wants to play RE5
Quote from: Ketchup Packet on August 06, 2013, 10:32:42 PM
You've watched but not played? Ahhh. I haven't played Ada's yet. Keaira and I co-oped on the first 3 but didn't know you could do it on Ada's too. I asked her to do it but she wants to play RE5
RE 6 has went down to about $17 here but it's the type of game that I know I wouldn't be good at, but I played the demo and the storyline is just so interesting, especially how they have all of the seperate campaigns. The Ada campaign kind of came as a shock to me since it was kept very hidden. Nevertheless, I'm more interested to see it now that she's getting on my nerves in the Chris and Pier's campaign. She has some explaining to do.
I'm thinking about taking a driving class in order to help get my license. The cost is about $260. My sister said if I go and pass that course (and get my license I assume) , then she will give me $50 of that back. Meh I hate driving with a passion but if I want this dispatching job, I have to have a license.
Quote from: Queen Ralph on August 05, 2013, 09:58:35 PM
Got asked out by a guy today, of course, I turned him down politely. Apparently he thought I was pretty and he kept looking at me. Being asked out still weirds me out a little...
What? Are you nuts! Go have a good time.
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 05, 2013, 11:11:22 PM
I really hate this rooster. I dislike chickens generally but now I'm practically fond of the hens just because I hate him so much more.
VW BOYS - THE ROOSTER SONG.MPG (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHBiBjg7ANk#)
Which takes me to this song:
Fred Eaglesmith - Balin' Again (2013) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IuIIFQqZDA#)
I'm really looking into Andro gel and Androderm for when I am ready to start T. I wish more guys would make Youtube videos about them without switching over to the shots. I understand why they do it but still. I was following one guy because his transition path was very close to mine until he switched over to the shots....that kind of hurt.
Blood tests tomorrow for the top surgery next week. I gotta take the bus to the hospital and it once again made me realize how much I dislike the local bus traffic schedules.
But Mom called today and told me she'll take a wageless day-off from work to be with me at the hospital when I have the surgery. Didn't really surprise me, knowin how she is but it made me feel happy. :D
Aaaand I have partially lost my ability to focus on things thanks to quitting smoking. @_@
Quote from: Jamie D on August 07, 2013, 12:53:54 AM
What? Are you nuts! Go have a good time.
One could ask how sane is he, asking me out? And really, I don't want to deal with dating and being trans when most that do ask me out don't appear to know that I'm trans, much less pre-op. It could get messy...
I got finished watching the Chris and Pier campaign in RE 6 so now all I need now is to watch Ada's campaign. Here's my personal ranking so far.
1. Jake and Sherry (I'm a fanboy over that campaign now)
2. Chris and Piers (It was alright.)
3. Leon and Helena (Snorefest)
It will be interesting to see how Ada's campaign ranks. It's not looking too good so far but to be fair, I've only watched the first hour and a lot of the boring stuff happens in that first hour....unless you're in Jake and Sherry's campaign, which in that case, there's rarely a dull moment because even if nothing is going on, I at least get to see Jake run around with his sexy body. I totally have a man crush on him now....on both him and Rex Power Colt....Cyborg Commando!
I really need to get a job LOL!
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 07, 2013, 06:35:18 PM
I wonder if anyone has ever bothered to guess what the call letters WPPL stand for in that thread on my blog? :D
Might one of the P's stand for Portia, perchance?
Quote from: Malachite on August 07, 2013, 05:57:30 PM
I got finished watching the Chris and Pier campaign in RE 6 so now all I need now is to watch Ada's campaign. Here's my personal ranking so far.
1. Jake and Sherry (I'm a fanboy over that campaign now)
2. Chris and Piers (It was alright.)
3. Leon and Helena (Snorefest)
It will be interesting to see how Ada's campaign ranks. It's not looking too good so far but to be fair, I've only watched the first hour and a lot of the boring stuff happens in that first hour....unless you're in Jake and Sherry's campaign, which in that case, there's rarely a dull moment because even if nothing is going on, I at least get to see Jake run around with his sexy body. I totally have a man crush on him now....on both him and Rex Power Colt....Cyborg Commando!
I really need to get a job LOL!
I'm talking from a playing perspective, and I haven't played Ada's campaign yet, but this is my ranking:
1. Jake and Sherry. A close tie with Leon and Helena but I really liked the snowmobile, the storyline, the variety, settings, etc.
2. Leon and Helena's was good because I felt it kind of stayed true to the whole "Resident Evil" feel if you catch my drift. Some parts were boring. But I really enjoyed the first and second chapter, with the accidents, finding Deborah, etc. It kind of got me thinking. Would you let innocent people die to move forward to save your sister faster, or would you stop to help on the way?
3. Chris and Piers is definitely the one I like least. I found it repetitive and Piers is annoying as hell. When he died I was very happy. What's worse is I had to be Piers and Keaira was Chris.
Keaira played co-op with me on all of them so I asked her for her rankings lol:
1. Leon and Helena
2. Chris and Piers
3. Jake and Sherry
Now I like anything to do with Ada (and dat ass lol), but I have to play it first. Keaira and I are finishing RE5 and she said she may play Ada's campaign with me. It's more fun with another person.
Quote from: Ketchup Packet on August 07, 2013, 08:29:05 PM
I'm talking from a playing perspective, and I haven't played Ada's campaign yet, but this is my ranking:
1. Jake and Sherry. A close tie with Leon and Helena but I really liked the snowmobile, the storyline, the variety, settings, etc.
2. Leon and Helena's was good because I felt it kind of stayed true to the whole "Resident Evil" feel if you catch my drift. Some parts were boring. But I really enjoyed the first and second chapter, with the accidents, finding Deborah, etc. It kind of got me thinking. Would you let innocent people die to move forward to save your sister faster, or would you stop to help on the way?
3. Chris and Piers is definitely the one I like least. I found it repetitive and Piers is annoying as hell. When he died I was very happy. What's worse is I had to be Piers and Keaira was Chris.
Keaira played co-op with me on all of them so I asked her for her rankings lol:
1. Leon and Helena
2. Chris and Piers
3. Jake and Sherry
Now I like anything to do with Ada (and dat ass lol), but I have to play it first. Keaira and I are finishing RE5 and she said she may play Ada's campaign with me. It's more fun with another person.
Even though I have never played a Resident Evil game and only saw the first four movies, I could kind of tell that Leon and Helana's kind of had that "standard-issue" zombie feel to it, for lack of better words which is probably one of the reasons I got so bored watching it. That campaign also irritated me. Here's what I posted about it in my blog about a week back:
Quote from: Malachite on July 27, 2013, 01:57:27 PM
I love Ada Wong from what I've seen of her. She's like the female version of Duke Nukem. As I started watching more of Leon and Helena's storyline, it started to get interesting. I think it was boring in the beginning because of Helena stringing Leon along.
"I'll tell you everything when we get to the Cathedral"
*goes to the Cathedral*
"I'll tell you everything when we find Deborah"
*finds Deborah*
"I'll tell you everything when we get Deborah out of here."
*gets Deborah out*
Then eventually Ada comes in
"Ada....what's going on?"
"It's complicated"
Me: ......... I'm done LOL!
Speaking of Ada, I just got done watching the Ada campaign and it was really good. Every time she used that swinging thingy I kept saying to myself "Ada Wong" in a "cool" voice. She makes every single thing sound important in a nonchalant way 8) Now that I finished her story I can give a complete ranking of my favorite campaign.
1. Jake and Sherry- Definately the best story for that was full of action and a hint of romance
2. Ada Wong
3. Chris and Piers
4. Leon and Helena
The Chris and Piers campaign was a tad but of a let down (which surprised me since that was my favorite campaign in the demo). There wasn't many memorable moments in that campaign other than the beginning, their interaction with Jake and Ada, and the Pier's final moments. Heck, even with that, Piers was very annoying and didn't know his place. The ending was so dull that I honestly cared more about the steak that Chris left behind.
I do admit that Ada Wong has a nice butt. I enjoyed seeing her climb ladders. Even Leon had a nice wide booty. I don't even want to get started on Sherry Birkin's behind but that girl has a
butt.
Lol! I think Sherry is cute, but not hot. I think Ada is hot, and I think Helena is absolutely smoking.
Sherry is adorable isn't she. I just want to give her a big hug. Ada's kind of hot in the "she's way out of my league" type of way and Helena has a motherly glow to me >.>
I've been working on a roleplay scenario with the help of my Polish online friend and I have a feeling it's getting way too complicated and detailed to be just a roleplay concept. @_@
And it's filled with stuff I'm not that familiar with... Except for the demonish stuff.
I have also come to the conclusion that I must bite my tongue badly, REALLY badly, to be able to pronounce Polish so it sounds at least somewhat correct.
And the language looks like someone just smashed the keyboard with their head...
And both of those are completely on no offense. That Polish friend of mine is a great guy and all, and I am interested in different languages. You can just imagine how weird a Slavic language sounds and looks like to a Finn. The only difficult thing about Finnish is the grammar, not the pronounciation.
And that Polish friend of mine did say Finnish sounds like Spanish to him...
Quote from: Malachite on August 08, 2013, 12:10:49 AM
Sherry is adorable isn't she. I just want to give her a big hug. Ada's kind of hot in the "she's way out of my league" type of way and Helena has a motherly glow to me >.>
I think Ada is out of everyone's league. :P Lmao.
Motherly for Helena...hmm. I kind of see what you mean. She comes across as very mature, very serious, it's hard to believe she is only 23. Lol I am talking about her as though she is real. At first when you said motherly, I felt creepy about finding her so attractive, but then...I do tend to find those kinds of qualities attractive in a woman.
All this makes me want to get all the RE games, and play then chronologically. But...cash and I don't have the game systems for all the RE's. I've done 4, halfway through 5, nearly done 6 (except Ada), and I got bored of Revelations. I also have Code Veronica sitting on my xbox, untouched.
My ex decided to reciprocate my telling him I'm trans by telling me he's bi. I'm not sure why he thinks I care. Alright, to be honest, I do care. I have a certain amount of glee for being right. I totally called it. Mind you, so did one my friends who barely knew him, so it wasn't like it was hard to guess.
Quote from: caleb. on August 08, 2013, 05:16:34 AM
I think Ada is out of everyone's league. :P Lmao.
Motherly for Helena...hmm. I kind of see what you mean. She comes across as very mature, very serious, it's hard to believe she is only 23. Lol I am talking about her as though she is real. At first when you said motherly, I felt creepy about finding her so attractive, but then...I do tend to find those kinds of qualities attractive in a woman.
All this makes me want to get all the RE games, and play then chronologically. But...cash and I don't have the game systems for all the RE's. I've done 4, halfway through 5, nearly done 6 (except Ada), and I got bored of Revelations. I also have Code Veronica sitting on my xbox, untouched.
I am honestly surprised that there isn't some super bundle for RE by now with nearly every RE game that can be palyed on Xbox/PS3. I know there's the Legacy Bundle for PS3 but that's like only 3 games. Part of me wouldn't put it past Capcom to make one in the future, considering how they like to capitalize on their products.
Turns out my solid-state amplifier is about 40(!) years old. I did some research and all i can say is: high-end in 1971-1976 is still great in 2013.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 08, 2013, 02:55:58 PM
What brand is it?
How many watts is it?
Pic?
Marantz
Model 1060
http://www.classic-audio.com/marantz/1060.html (http://www.classic-audio.com/marantz/1060.html)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.classic-audio.com%2Fmarantz%2Fpics%2F1060.jpg&hash=9d0de5112e30cd9ae3afa820ccc34f69c2bd114d)
Love Marantz. Just fantastic, that amp, really fantastic sound, no wonder every other amp i've heard in my vicinity (even my brother's Teufel system, which he insists is better) pales in comparison. I love that warm sound it brings to the table.
Goot a pair of big wooden speakers too, hooked up to it.
Only have a small piece of sh!t Yamaha practice amp which is quite old too.
So glad i finally switched from wav to flac files. They sound the same but tend to be smaller. I need free space on my computer, but i also need my music.
Edit:
On the 5th of August we lost one of the best and one of my favorite keyboard players, George Duke. Dead at only 67 years old, died of leukemia.
She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago
His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato
She's in love with a boy
From the rodeo
Who pulls the rope on the chute
When they let those suckers go
(Yeah-hey! Suckers!)
He got slobberin' drunk at the Palomino
They give him thirty days in San Ber'dino
Well there's forty-four men
Stashed away in Tank "C"
An' there's only one shower
But it don't apply to Bobby
You might think they're
Dumb an' lonely
But you're wrong
'Cause their love is strong
Stacked-up hair
An' a cheap little ring
They don't care
'Cause it don't mean a thing
Looka there . . .
They don't care
Best-est way that
They can feel-o
Out on the highway
Rollin' a wheel-o
He's her Tootsie
She's for real-o
Trailer park heaven
It's a real good deal-o
Remember belting this one out about half a year ago. Made quite a show out of that song (posing and such) and really freaked myself out at the end of the song with the "Oh Bobby, i'm so sorry you got a head like a potato, i really am!"
This just in on the random statement channel: Jenna-Louise Coleman is really hot.
Edit: And this is really beautiful:
George Duke - Uncle Remus - Live 6/23/1975 - New York City (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KC1wORJ09E&list=HL1376001404#)
Some Several bands are formed just to give Beavis and Butthead a field day
Oh man, Cocao Goji green tea is wicked good!
Hmmmm, that Karen Gillan really looks nice. I like redheads. Well, my feelings of attraction are back, so that is good.
I wish I had as much money as I do posts.
The lady who cut my hair today was surprised at how high my hairline was. Lol. She said that she thinks I will never go bald. Little does she know. :P But I told her I wish I was as rich in dollars as I am in hair.
Well, no one told me about her
The way she lied
Well, no one told me about her
How many people cried
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know? Why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
Well, let me tell you 'bout the way she looked
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool
Her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
Well, no one told me about her
What could I do?
Well, no one told me about her
Though they all knew
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know? Why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
Well, let me tell you 'bout the way she looked
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool
Her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know? Why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there
Well, let me tell you about the way she looked
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool
Her eyes were clear and bright
But she's not there
I made the mistake of letting my nephew use my "real" controller to actually play the PS3 or as we call it the "master controller". When he was mashing it so hard that the rubber grip for my analog stick fell off I told him that was it. His eyes turn red and I asked him "are you crying?" and he huffed a few times telling me "don't say that". I wasn't going to tolerate that crap so I told him if he doesn't stop crying then he's not going to be playing at all. Lol poor boy tried to wipe his tears away as soon as he could. When I asked him why was he crying he was still getting choked up and I told him to breath in and out. He was upset because I wouldn't give him one more chance (which he had like 10 other "one more chances"). He's figured out that the PS2 controller I give him doesn't work for my PS3 lol. I think we have to come to a compromise. I'll let him play Hatsune Miku demo with my PS3 controller but he has to "play" with the PS2 controller when we play Little Big Planet since the controls are too difficult for him.
Bored, sick, tired and frustrated... Think I'll take a nap
Will my sister come back with an ice-cream ::)
Most of the characters I really like and want to emulate are tricksters. I wonder what that says about me?
Is it wrong to use pictures of various cartoon characters for target practice?
Eurgh! My dad bought chocolate. The more crap they have in this house, the less healthy I eat. :P
I can't wait to change my name one day.
Damn I am sexy.
That is all. carry on. ;D
I wonder how long it takes for her to notice....
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 10, 2013, 04:49:39 PM
I wonder how long it takes for her to notice....
Who? what? now you've made me paranoid.
Quote from: Keaira on August 10, 2013, 04:56:07 PM
Who? what? now you've made me paranoid.
Yes, yes you >:-) (Not really!)
oh good. Cause I did take pictures last night that had my panties in the background so i had to delete them. I thought one slipped through. :P
Quote from: Keaira on August 10, 2013, 05:04:13 PM
oh good. Cause I did take pictures last night that had my panties in the background so i had to delete them. I thought one slipped through. :P
Oh my, ha! :')
Quote from: Keaira on August 10, 2013, 04:33:21 PM
Damn I am sexy.
That is all. carry on. ;D
Hell yes. ;)
Quote from: Keaira on August 10, 2013, 05:04:13 PM
oh good. Cause I did take pictures last night that had my panties in the background so i had to delete them. I thought one slipped through. :P
LMFAO! I didn't notice. I'm going to skim through those pics and find the panties.
Randomly getting a positive rep for something I said over a year ago. It hasn't happened, but if it ever does, I should practice my "wow" expression.
So it's another day of this creepy crappy jerk faced world :P Big woohoo
I am alone.
Hatsune Miku Project Diva
So many story ideas, so little time. It doesn't help that the story ideas are just glimmers and I don't have enough ideas to make the plots interesting.
I still don't think she has noticed!
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 11, 2013, 06:38:32 AM
I still don't think she has noticed!
Who? What? Now you got everyone wondering what you're talking about lol
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 11, 2013, 06:38:32 AM
I still don't think she has noticed!
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!WHAT? and WHO?
I think my voice might still be changing. I thought that part of puberty was over and the time of the facial has superceded it, but whaddya know? 3 to 4 days ago it was "hello, mr.squeakyvoice for me" and today my rather recognizable low voice is back, which depending on the song can sound rather good.
Gotta black breast Chinese eyes
Got an English brain that's gonna make me wise
Got a long story that I wanna tell
To a rhythm that I know so well
Really got a lot of lovin' that I wanna give
Baby I'm a mystery but you know I gotta live
I tried another but she didn't want to know
Ahhhhh, no no no!
Take a hold now if you can
Take a lesson from a hard lovin' man
I'm a long way from where I wanna go
Guess I'll stay awhile I really love you so
How's about another sip of all the wine you got
Take a tip from me and give it here I'll drink the lot
I'm not a winey, I'm a puttin' on a show
Ahhhh, no no no!
You really really grab me but I've gotta move
Before they know I'm here and spread the news
Maybe in while when I've moved around
I can find a way to pay you back your twenty pounds
Really got a lot of lovin' that I wanna give
Baby I'm a mystery but you know I gotta live
I tried another but she didn't want to know
Ahhh, no no no!
Creepy lyrics but what a rockin' tune
Quote from: CaseyB on August 11, 2013, 09:23:48 AM
Who? What? Now you got everyone wondering what you're talking about lol
Quote from: Keaira on August 11, 2013, 11:58:42 AM
AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
WHAT? and WHO?
Here's a hint. I seem to post after she does. ;)
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 10, 2013, 06:39:02 PM
So am I. But I'm used to it so I just do my thang and go on with life. No need to let it get you down.
Not down, not lonely, just alone.
Maybe its just me but opening doors don't seem as easy as it used to be. ???
I have so much crap in my room right now.
Quote from: caleb. on August 11, 2013, 07:44:20 PM
I have so much crap in my room right now.
You too?
I have difficulty throwing away stuff. 'Tis not worthless, it'll be worth something one day, matey! Arrr!
Yeah, I'm really reluctant to throw anything away anymore. It doesn't make sense because before I was the opposite, pretty minimalist, never had a problem getting rid of anything if it was no longer needed. But in the past few months I've developed slight hoarding tendencies it seems.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HymmwtsEKAQ&feature=youtu.be
This is the soundtrack to my brain. Pretty screwed up, i know.
Daydreaming about being a motivantional speaker and speaking to a group of transguys about how to reach their goals in their transition and life and sharing my life story about how I got to where I was (hypothetically speaking). It would be called "guy talk".
Daydream over, I want to play the Resident Evil 6 demo again.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 11, 2013, 10:16:29 PM
That's super cool. I can totally relate to that.
I don't sleep with my Portia doll. She just chills on my couch along with my Dotty doll and my Bacon plushie. (Yes...a plush Bacon doll. :D)
These are the two that I snooze with:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2F36d4bec2-fcc8-4830-bb3f-e6e15d6898a9.jpg&hash=8881f7d1df2f8edeb291445919f1e856202e51db)
Smaller versions of Dotty and Portia that I altered a bit, swapped their outfits and renamed Doris and Patricia.
This is my favorite Get Along Gang episode: "Uneasy Rider"
5 whole dollars!?!?
Ladies and gentlemen, watch me.
All through our show i have been thinking....
what could i possibly do to amaze everyone in the audience here at the Roxy Theatre in December 1973.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F9%2F9a%2FRuth_Underwood.jpg&hash=dd31ca4bfde8a6db8411f2243a34ca26e9e80f25)
Awesome, that Ruth Underwood. Great percussionist. Didn't mind Zappa's chauvinistic attitude it seems.
Lots of thoughts this morning!
1) It's been about a year since I decided to focus more on my identity issues. I can't believe how far I've made it since then!
2) I like how my shirt size has gone from "mens large" to "womens medium / small"
3) The dress I'm wearing is pretty, but I'm a little self-conscious of how pale I am. Hello farmers tan! I'll be sure to get a photo up sometime today :)
There's a bomb to blow your mommy up
A bomb for your daddy too
(Ouch)
A baby doll that burps & pees
A case of airplane glue
A hungry plastic troll
To scarf your buddy's arm
A box of ugly plastic things marked:
Uncle Bernie's Farm!
There's a little plastic congress
There's a nation you can buy
(I'll take two)
There's a doll that looks like mommy
She'll do anything but cry
(I seen her)
There's a doll that looks like daddy
He's a funny little man
Push a button & ask for money
There's a dollar in his hand
(Check his wallet)
We gotta send Santa Claus back to the Rescue Mission
Christmas don't make it no more
Don't you know that murder & destruction
Scream the toys in every store
(Think this'll sell in New York?)
There's a man who runs the country
There's a man who tried to think
And they're all made out of plastic
When they melt they start to stink
There's a book with smiling children
Nearly dead with Christmas joy!
And smiling in his office
Is the creep who makes the toys . . .
Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 11, 2013, 03:35:39 PM
Here's a hint. I seem to post after she does. ;)
..... Well, it can't be Miss Bungle. She has posted and you were silent. But it is still vague. Damn you for getting my curiousity peaked! AH! >:-)
Im beginning to think I have a fan club on here. Which is odd for me.
How did he do it? How did he get that tone? And why did he call his favorite guitar technique the Bulgarian B->-bleeped-<-ipe?
One very fascinating piece of Zappa history is the song "Let's Move To Cleveland". It was (according to Zappa himself at least) written 1968 as a chamber orchestra piece. It most likely wasn't performed live until 1975, where it was performed in a very weird uptempo arrangement. After 1976 it disappeared until 1980, where it was probably only played once (in Berkeley). It finally became part of Zappa's regular repertoire on the 1982 tour, sounding radically different and rather heavy, including Zappa and Steve Vai trading solos. In 1984 it became a solo vehicle for the whole band and the closing vocals differed from night to night. Eventually the band settled on "Let's Move To Cleveland", because of the nice audience at their show there that year. Here are a few alternate titles for the song:
Canard Du Jour all 1975 and 1976 performances
Young & Monde all 1982 performances
Kreeg-ah Bundolo 7/17/84 Los Angeles
7/22/84 Los Angeles
most summer 1984 performances
10/25/84 Worcester
11/3/84 (late) Stony Brook
11/9/84 Boston
12/10/84 San Antonio
Ray White On Vocals/Chad Wackerman On Drums/
Scott Thunes On Bass/Allan Zavod On Keyboards/
Bobby Martin On Keyboards/Ike Willis On Vocals
(And Of Course The Mad Italian Buffoon,
And We Hope That We Will Come Back Soon) 8/16/84 Jones Beach
Let's Go To The Whorehouse 9/24/84 (late) London
9/25/84 London
10/6/84 Marseille
Tell 'Em What They Win, Bob 9/30/84 Lyon
Wile E. Coyote 10/3/84 (early) Munich
Let's Go To The Outhouse 10/8/84 Milan
Where's My Vacation? 10/12/84 Viareggio
Ray White Had A Brownout 10/13/84 Padua
Here Comes The Av'lanche/Must Be A Sickler 10/14/84 Rome
He's/I'm Not The Panther 10/16/84 Rome
12/3/84 (late) New Orleans
Let's Eat The Dog Food 11/10/84 (late) Upper Darby
Don't Eat The Whalebar 11/13/84 Washington
11/16/84 Buffalo
Let's Move To Cleveland 11/14/84 Cleveland
11/30/84 (late) Sunrise
12/23/84 Los Angeles
all 1988 performances
Ave Maria 11/18/84 Columbus
I'll Tumble For Ya 11/21/84 (late) Royal Oak
Kiss My Volcano 11/23/84 (late) Chicago
Wowowowowo 12/1/84 St. Petersburg
Sit On My Faceland 12/4/84 Memphis
Let's Throw A Tantrum 12/8/84 Kansas City
Je Suis Je Suis 12/11/84 Austin
Watch Harold's Footwork 12/12/84 Houston
Don't Use Your Elbow 12/13/84 Dallas
Hi Hi Ho Silver 12/17/84 (late) Seattle
Let's Go Through Customs 12/18/84 (late) Vancouver
No Pink Po-Jamas 12/20/84 Portland
Don't Be A Lawyer
Let's Have More Pants
I recorded something and reached the limits of my voice both in the lower registers and the upper registers. Surprisingly, there's only one really bad voice crack.
Bringing in the sheaves
Bringing in the sheaves
We will come rejoicing
Bringing in the sheaves
Whoa!
L.A. in the summer of '69
I went downtown and bought some wine
I wasted my head on three quarts of juice
And now the grapes won't cut me loose
'Cause I'm a wino man
Wino man
WINO MAN
36, 24, hips about 30
(36, 24, hips about 30)
Seen a fine lady and I started talkin' dirty
(Seen a fine lady and I started talkin' dirty)
She looked at me and raised her thumb
(Thumb, yeah)
And said: "Jam down the road, you funky-ass bum"
(Jam it down, jam it down, funky-ass bum,
That's no way to talk to a lady!)
'Cause you're a wino man
Don't you know I am?
WINO MAN
I, I went to the country
And while I was gone
A roller-headed lady
Caught me weedling on her lawn
I am so ashamed, 'cause I'm a wino man
And I can't help myself
HELP ME SOMEBODY!
I'm a wino man
Wino man
Oh lord!
WINO MAN
My guitar playing
And my wino career are in a slump
'Cause I find myself now living
In a cardboard refrigerator box down by the Houston dump
And, oh my God, I'm so ashamed of myself
(So ashamed of myself)
Everytime I get . . . WHOOAAAH!
I've been drinkin' all night and my eyes are gettin' red
Well, I crashed in the gutter, got bugs in my head
Bugs in my coat, been scratchin' like a dog
I can't stand water, and I stink like a hog
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks
And a hot meal
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks
And a hot meal
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks
And a hot meal
Give me FI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I. . .
Maybe an old overcoat or two
Maybe an old overcoat or two
Maybe an old overcoat or two
Oh, oh my God, I just love overcoats
I don't believe in wasting food and throwing it away if I can help it. I throw all leftover food outside for the critters to eat, even though my mom hates it when I do that but hey, what good it is doing in the trashcan? It's just taking extra space in there and stinking it up. At least if I throw it outside something gets fed. I have thrown all kinds of food out there....even half a birthday cake and it got eaten. I threw a cupcake out there yesterday and later that night a cat was eating it. The previous day I threw the bottom of some burnt pizza out there and it's all gone. I throw bones out there and they are gone. I threw a whole bag of lettuce out there and that stayed for weeks lol but snails and ants and other bugs were eventually starting to eat it. Heck why let food go to waste?
This is not funny. I used to find it funny, but i no longer can. I have matured a bit. I don't have a problem with Zappa's immature chauvinistic lyrics, at least not always, it depends on the song. But this is just nasty and all kinds of offensive.
I want a nasty little Jewish Princess
(La-la-la)
With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
(Wee-oo-oo)
A horny little Jewish Princess
With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
(FA!)
Lonely inside
Well, she can swallow my pride
I need a hairy little Jewish Princess
(La-la-la)
With a brand new nose
(Oo-ee-oo)
Who knows where it goes
I want a steamy little Jewish Princess
(KSSS!)
With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums
I don't want no troll
I just want a Yemenite hole
I want a darling little Jewish Princess
(La-la-la)
Who don't know ->-bleeped-<- about cooking and is arrogant looking
(Woo-eee-ooo)
A vicious little Jewish Princess
To specifically happen with a pee-pee that's snappin'
All up inside
I just want a Princess to ride
Awright, back to the top . . .
(Hi-Yo, Silver! Away!)
Everybody twist!
I want a funky little Jewish Princess
(La-la-la)
A grinder; a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper
A brazen little Jewish Princess
(HI-YO!)
With titanic tits
(WHOAH!)
And sand-blasted zits
She can even be poor
So long as she does it with four on the floor
(Vapor-lock)
I want a dainty little Jewish Princess
(La-la-la)
With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters
A fragile little Jewish Princess
(HI-YO!)
With Roumanian thighs, who weasels 'n lies
For two or three nights
Won't someone send me a princess who bites
Won't someone send me a princess who bites
Won't someone send me a princess who bites
Won't someone send me a princess who bites
I feel really ignored.
How funny would it be to attempt to grow a Zappa-like imperial beard? I mean, the beard is growing like mad at the moment, but unfortunately on my throat instead of my face.
Quote from: Keaira on August 12, 2013, 07:10:13 AM
..... Well, it can't be Miss Bungle. She has posted and you were silent. But it is still vague. Damn you for getting my curiousity peaked! AH! >:-)
Im beginning to think I have a fan club on here. Which is odd for me.
You cannot be trying that hard to figure out ;)
I was just thinking about december 2011 when Azmaria and Jannie came to visit. We had a great time together. Jannie used to tell me that when I transitioned I was going to be the hottie of the group, lol. And we would always look out for one another. She was ever the optemist and even when talking about the low points in her life, she spoke with a smile on her face and never stopped wanting to help others. Azzie was kind of shy and quiet that time. But OMG, is that ever just a cover for who she really is, lol. Anyway, that night we went to see "The girl with the dragon tattoo". Azzie and I still joke that it is my movie, because I have a dragon tattoo. The next day, Azzie took photos of us together and secretly filmed us as we talked.
Azzie went back home to Missouri and Jannie left for home in Michigan. We never expected that those pictures would be the the last ever taken of Jannie before she died. Those pictures are so bittersweet anymore. *sigh*
Ah look at all the lonely people....
story of my life?
I'm surprised that a lot of people online would rather have diarrhea than constipation. I think it depends on the location. If I'm at home then I would much rather have diarrhea but if I'm out and about I'd much rather have constipation.
Quote from: Malachite on August 12, 2013, 04:45:23 PM
I'm surprised that a lot of people online would rather have diarrhea than constipation. I think it depends on the location. If I'm at home then I would much rather have diarrhea but if I'm out and about I'd much rather have constipation.
Yeah, I have to agree. When I read the first part I thought "DIARRHEA! definitely." Because it hurts, yeah, but at least you get it out of you, you know? Whereas with constipation, you are stuck.
I got diarrhea in public once though. In Sears. -_- Thankfully I made it to the bathroom in time to let it rip, but holding it while finding the toilet was horrible and hurt so bad.
Quote from: caleb. on August 12, 2013, 07:09:18 PM
Yeah, I have to agree. When I read the first part I thought "DIARRHEA! definitely." Because it hurts, yeah, but at least you get it out of you, you know? Whereas with constipation, you are stuck.
I got diarrhea in public once though. In Sears. -_- Thankfully I made it to the bathroom in time to let it rip, but holding it while finding the toilet was horrible and hurt so bad.
That's why I would rather have constipation. Those constipation cramps hurt much more but at least I know ain't nothing going to slip out accidently. With diarrhea if you are at those final moments where you can't hold it anymore and the door is about to be opened and there's no toilet around or one that you can reach quickly...
I knew a woman who had to have her colon surgically put back in place because she couldnt go for 2 weeks!
Hense why I eat spicy food. If I eat too much, then it burns. But, I have a decent pain threshold.
Quote from: Keaira on August 12, 2013, 07:25:55 PM
I knew a woman who had to have her colon surgically put back in place because she couldnt go for 2 weeks!
Ouch!
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 12, 2013, 07:40:49 PM
I agree. You know some critter is going to munch it eventually. Props for feeding the critters, yo!
Thanks! When I first started throwing food outside, it was because I was interested in seeing how long it would take for it to decompose. I throw some food outside to moniter it and by the next day it was gone and I couldn't understand what happened to it until I threw some more food out there and eventually saw a critter eating on it. My first thought: Awesome!
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 12, 2013, 08:00:39 PM
My dad does the same thing out at his house. He's always got skunks, rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, etc coming around. LOL But no porcupines, though. :D
It's like his backyard is the local "critter cafe".
Wow I wish I had a variety of animals. My yard just contains cats, squirrels (haven't seen them eating anything of mine though) and the occasional opossem. I do admit I love to feed the oppsossum the most. It's so cute to watch a small oppossum eat and look at you.
I hate my nose so much.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 12, 2013, 08:16:45 PM
That's cute. That reminds me of one time years ago, my dad and I were hanging out in the garage late at night. It was like 2 or 3 in the morning and it was common back then to see entire groups of skunks trailing through the yard during that time of night. We were sitting in the very back of the garage with the door open and this whole group of skunks came through: a couple of parents and 5 tiny skunks. Once they went past us, one of the oldest skunks came running up to the edge of the floor, stared at us for several seconds and then took off.
It was pretty amusing.
I'm surprised yall didn't get sprayed.
I'm thinking about video games and how I'm glad the video game section exists now. I remember beforehand I was shocked that there wasn't a section for gamers. I feel like I'm a party of history.
I'm thinking after watching "The Conjuring" I might not sleep very well in this empty house.
Quote from: Highway Star on August 12, 2013, 04:41:45 PM
Ah look at all the lonely people....
story of my life?
Where do the all belong?
Quote from: caleb. on August 11, 2013, 07:44:20 PM
I have so much crap in my room right now.
In that case, I strongy suggest you invest in a porta-potty.
Peeeewwwww
Quote from: Jamie D on August 12, 2013, 11:21:40 PM
Where do the all belong?
Please don't be long,
please don't you be very long,
don't belong
don't belong
Quote from: Si on August 12, 2013, 11:05:52 PM
I'm thinking after watching "The Conjuring" I might not sleep very well in this empty house.
Is it good? I have been wanting to see it.
Quote from: Jamie D on August 12, 2013, 11:24:02 PM
In that case, I strongy suggest you invest in a porta-potty.
Peeeewwwww
Some of it did smell. I bought some garlic and forgot to take it out of the bag...
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 12, 2013, 10:15:00 PM
Actually, it is much easier to avoid being sprayed than people think. The problem is when most people see a skunk they freak out, so the skunk gets startled, feels threatened and defends itself via the spraying. I have walked past a LOT of skunks and have never been sprayed. You just leave it alone and they will leave you alone.
I learn something new everyday... just about :)
I'm wondering why I'm up so early. Oh yeah I had to pee but my brother was taking a bath. I love how right after I relieve myself with an improvised STP he comes out.
I
Quote from: caleb. on August 13, 2013, 03:57:28 AM
Is it good? I have been wanting to see it.
I thought it was a really good throw back film. If you like "Poltergeist" or "Amityville" then you'll probably like it too.
Just the trailer gave me the creeps.
Looks like I made it through the Frank Zappa round.
By Saint Alphonzo, you are not!
..... Oh no!....
I don't believe it,
you say that you think you know the meaning of love.
Do you really think it can be told?
Why couldn't I have been one of the lucky guys that had some natural feature working in my favor? Meh
We're all gonna live out the Hollywood dream
Everything's gonna be just what it seems
Gonna find a better way to run our cars
All through the Eighties
'Cause the race is on, we're gonna land on Mars
All through the Eighties
The Video Screen will open up the door
All through the Eighties
Information - there'll be more and more
All through the Eighties
Will the man on the street finally know the score
But I saw a kid with no smile on his face today
Where is my place in this bright future, I heard him say
I've lost my hope there isn't anywhere to play
(Pull up the trees and put up a parking lot)
The play's been written we'll all be in the cast
All through the Eighties
And our feet are gonna point away from the past
All through the Eighties
Will supersonic travel be our ticket to ride
We'll have cruise missiles, they think as they fly
But I saw a kid with no smile on his face today
Where is my place in this bright future, I heard him say
I've lost my hope there isn't anywhere to play
(Pull up the trees and put up a parking lot)
Time will go and the years fly by
All through the Eighties
And we'll have another slice of American Pie
All through the Eighties
Credit card living, push button cash
All through the Eighties
We'll pay our money and we'll take our trash
All through the Eighties
And another generation will "Talk about their Generation"
But I saw a kid with no smile on his face today
Where is my place in this bright future, I heard him say
I've lost my hope there isn't anywhere to play
(Pull up the trees and put up a parking lot)
I saw a kid with no smile on his face today
Where is my place in this bright future, I heard him say
I saw a kid with no smile on his face today
Where is my place in this bright future, I heard him say
I'm thinking about my hair and about how pissed off I am that I am thinking about my hair.
I kind of miss being able to say I'm a broke college student. Now all I can say is I'm just broke....
Anybody here familiar with the movie "When The Wind Blows"?
When i saw it it made me cry and i felt really terrified and depressed. I was actually cowering in fear at some point. I'm downright paranoid at times.
It's a masterpiece of british cinema and has a really great soundtrack by Roger Waters and David Bowie.
Quote from: Edge on August 13, 2013, 03:26:36 PM
I'm thinking about my hair and about how pissed off I am that I am thinking about my hair.
What's wrong with thinking about your hair?
Quote from: caleb. on August 13, 2013, 03:41:42 PM
What's wrong with thinking about your hair?
It makes me feel more self conscious than I'd like to be. My hair perpetually looks stupid and I don't know how to fix it.
Watch him ride into the sunset
He'd have the little fat guy
right along his side
Echoing off the canyon, Hey Cisco
from Pancho 'n' pretty soon
the black sombrero would reply
Hey Pancho what's happening mi amigo
It's getting somewhere near the end,
this winding trail
When we've raced around the corner
for the final dusty time
Mr Renaldo 'n' Carillo's
going to jail
Can't open no more supermarkets
Duncan's sombrero's hanging
up there with his guns
Some cigarro sucking slag
under a chip Hollywood chandelier
Says 'Cisco, Kid you know
your day is done
Let me know how you are doin'
Mr Renaldo
if you need me I could be
a friend for life
There don't seem any point
...we should throw 'way
all these years
Why don't we saddle up
and ride out one more time
What they doing to my friend
What they doing to my man
Don't matter when
I'll stay to the end
Hey Cisco
Let's go out in style
We're going down together
i'm still as confused about myself as i was the first day, if not even more, it has only been pushed in the background so i can enjoy life again instead of sulking in my room.
All the confusing feelings, they are weird, uncomfortable, restless, contradictory...........
I'm losing time and my mind
Why can't I ever have what's naturally mine?
I got life and the things that go with it
If there's something else, where can i get it?
Lying there waiting, waiting for the kill
Oh man won't do it, but the devil will
Well here's my views, I always lose
Things I want to do are yesterday's news
Say life's a ball, I've had it all
Out there in another dance hall
Lying there waiting, waiting for the kill
Oh man won't do it, but the devil will
Take me as I am, an excuse for a man
Wherever I push someone stops my hand
As a matter of interest, tell me if you will
Why didn't Rosemary ever take the pill?
Lying there waiting, waiting for the kill
Oh man won't do it, but the devil will
it is not real, i'm just balls-out insane, it is not real,
I miss London
I just want to scream. As loud as i can. I'm on the tail end of a major depression-related mood swing, my gender issues are back and i forgot my depression meds and i don't know what to do with my life (become part of the corporate machine, brrrrrr...., just another worker drone.......), whatever happened to old me, that's right, old me died in January 2013 and was on life-support since January 2012 and in a bad condition before that.........................
About 25 hours till I check into the hospital for top surgery, whoooo. @_@
And I'm not that much stressed out by it yet but I predict I'm gonna be using the e-cig more than ever today.
Terry Bozzio = God as a drummer
Steve Vai = God as a guitarist
Arthur Barrow = God as a bass player
Tommy Mars = God as a keyboarders
Ruth Underwood = God as a percussionist
Ray White = God as a vocalist
The sky is red, I don't understand,
past midnight I still see the land.
People are sayin' the woman is damned,
she makes you burn with a wave of her hand.
The city's a blaze, the town's on fire.
The woman's flames are reaching higher.
We were fools, we called her liar.
All I hear is "Burn!"
I didn't believe she was devil's sperm.
She said, "Curse you all, you'll never learn!
When I leave there's no return."
The people laughed till she said, "Burn!"
Warning came, no one cared.
Earth was shakin', we stood and stared.
When it came no one was spared.
Still I hear "Burn!"
You know we had no time,
we could not even try.
You know we had no time.
You know we had no time,
we could not even try.
You know we had no time.
The sky is red, I don't understand,
past midnight I still see the land.
People are sayin' the woman is damned,
she makes you burn with a wave of her hand.
Warning came, no one cared.
Earth was shakin, we stood and stared.
When it came no one was spared.
Still I hear "Burn!"
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 13, 2013, 10:35:14 PM
Congratulations ;D
I second that.
I'm thinking about power. (What else is new?) I'm thinking of how to increase my knowledge and intelligence, how to increase my physical abilities, and how my plans for this may take several years. *sigh* Oh well.
I am also thinking of something my friend said. He's going through a rough time and he told me he would rather go through a rough time than risk change (even though that change is more likely to help him get better). I expressed confusion over why one would make such a choice, he asked if I ever felt something was pointless, I told him yes but I fight anyway, he said not everyone has it in them, and I asked what is it that I have that he doesn't. He replied that I have a stronger will. ... I always thought that was something one chooses to have and that everyone has the potential to have. Oops. Now I'm really confused. I don't know what to think.
I am also thinking of a quote I saw: "You think it's a weakness? Make it a strength. It's part of you, so use it." I'm wondering how I can turn not getting along with people into a strength.
Mister America
Walk on by
Your schools that do not teach
Mister America
Walk on by
The minds that won't be reached
Mister America
Try to hide
The emptiness that's you inside
When once you find that the way you lied
And all the corny tricks you tried
Will not forestall the rising tide of
Hungry freaks, Daddy . . .
They won't go
For no more
Great mid-western hardware store
Philosophy that turns away
From those who aren't afraid to say
What's on their minds
(The left-behinds of the Great Society)
Hungry freaks, Daddy . . .
Mister America
Walk on by
Your supermarket dream
Mister America
Walk on by
The liquor store supreme
Mister America
Try to hide
The product of your savage pride
The useful minds that it denied
The day you shrugged and stepped aside
You saw their clothes and then you cried:
THOSE HUNGRY FREAKS, DADDY!
They won't go
For no more
Great mid-western hardware store
Philosophy that turns away
From those who aren't afraid to say
What's on their minds
(The left-behinds of the Great Society)
BILLY the Mountain
BILLY the Mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
With his stunning wife ETHELL,
A tree!
A tree!
BILLY was a mountain
ETHELL was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder
BILLY was a mountain
ETHELL was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder
Billy had two big
Caves for eyes,
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up 'n down,
And whenever it did,
He'd puff out some dust,
And hack up a boulder
(HACK!)
Hack up a boulder
(HACK! HACK!)
Hack up a boulder
(HACK! HACK! HACK!)
Hack up a boulder
What's there to live for?
Who needs the peace corps?
Think I'll just DROP OUT
I'll go to Frisco
Buy a wig & sleep
On Owsley's floor
Walked past the wig store
Danced at the Fillmore
I'm completely stoned
I'm hippy & I'm trippy
I'm a gypsy on my own
I'll stay a week & get the crabs &
Take a bus back home
I'm really just a phony
But forgive me
'Cause I'm stoned
Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO . . .
How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya Frisco!
How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya
Oh, my hair is getting good in the back!
Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO . . .
Hotcha!
First I'll buy some beads
And then perhaps a leather band
To go around my head
Some feathers and bells
And a book of Indian lore
I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
And smoke an awful lot of dope
I will wander around barefoot
I will have a psychedelic gleam in my eye at all times
I will love everyone
I will love the police as they kick the ->-bleeped-<- out of me on the street
I will sleep . . .
I will, I will go to a house
That's, that's what I will do
I will go to a house
Where there's a rock & roll band
'Cause the groups all live together
And I will join a rock & roll band
I will be their road manager
And I will stay there with them
And I will get the crabs
But I won't care
Because . . .
I don't know whether to try and contact my parents again. They have been ignoring me, since their 'intervention'. Hmmmm, it wont help, but I feel I have to try. I wish they would just tell me that they are cutting me off rather than just ignoring me. :-/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd62RKqRg6I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et-MRbVI2x8
Green hocker croakin'
In the Pygmy Twylyte
Crankin' an' a-coke'n
In the Winchell's do-nut Midnite
Out of his deep on a 'fore day run
Hurtin' for sleep in the Quaalude Moonlight
Green hocker in a Greyhound locker
Smokin' in the Pygmy Twylyte
Joined the bus on the 33rd seat
By the doo-doo room with the reek replete
Crystal eye, crystal eye
Got a crystal kidney & he's fraid to die
In the Pygmy Twylyte
Downer midnite
Pygmy Twylyte
Downer midnite
Pygmy Twylyte
Downer midnite
Pygmy Twylyte
Downer midnite
Yeah, yeah, yeah . . .
Twylyte!
Oh, wait a minute
Don't spray that stuff in my eyes
Oh, wait a minute
All we're tryin' to do is to have a little party
Somebody told me Suzi Quatro was gonna be in the party
Make me wanna jump up and down in the air!
Napoleon:
Sunrise
Get up in the mornin'
You know, I think it's mornin'
Sun is shinin' bright
I'm gonna get outside
Gonna wash my face
Grab my hat
Put it on my head
I take a walk downtown
Yeah-hey . . .
Because I feel so-oh good
I think I'm gonna take a walk downtown
Hey! Sunlight!
Wo!
Somethin' I never seen before
Been a-walkin' down the street every day
Nobody like you ever passed my way
Maybe there must be too much sun
Couldn't be my hat, must be too much . . .
Wait a minute!
What's that you . . . ?
What's that?
What . . . ?
What's that?
What . . . ?
What's that?
What . . . ?
FZ:
Dummy Up
Napoleon:
What is that?
I know what that is, I know what that is . . .
I bet you that's a restaurant menu . . .
Let me see!
Let me see!
Jeff: Not only do you get the Desenex burger . . . not only the Desenex burger . . . but you are in for a real treat, Jim
Napoleon: Wait a minute, I think I like that dance better than this . . . What are you talkin' about, creep?
Jeff: What I'm talkin' about is you've been in this killer fog down here too long
Napoleon: What?
Jeff: You need somethin' to get up and go to school with
Napoleon: Wait a minute, you're not talkin' to an old fool now, you know, I wasn't born yesterday!
FZ: (Heh heh heh!)
Napoleon: Wait a minute . . . I think I'll take . . .
Jeff: I like that little dance you were doin' down there . . .
FZ: Jeff Simmons tries to corrupt Napoleon Murphy Brock by showing him a lewd dance and suggesting that he'd smoke a high-school diploma . . .
Napoleon: Hey! What you . . . what you . . . ? Wait a minute!
Jeff: Hey this, this stuff . . .
Napoleon: I've never seen one of these before . . . that's not a menu?
Jeff: This stuff is expensive
Napoleon: What is that?
Jeff: You shoot it, you'll conserve all winter
Napoleon: I do what?
Jeff: It last longer
FZ: Not only do you get the Desenex burger
Napoleon: No . . . no . . .
Jeff: Now come on, try it
Napoleon: No, no, no
Jeff: It's really good
Napoleon: No . . . Smoke THAT?!
Jeff: Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever seen you before?
Napoleon: I don't, I don't even know you!
Jeff: Look . . .
Napoleon: I don't even know what that is!
Jeff: Just bef . . .
Napoleon: And you're tellin' me to smoke it?!
Jeff: Just before, we smoked the tapes that you made
Napoleon: Smoked the tapes?
Jeff: Smoked the tapes of your group
Napoleon: I think I'd rather dance
Jeff: You can really get off! Let's try a joint of this
Napoleon: A WHAT?!
Jeff: A joint!
Napoleon: You mean this kinda joint?
Jeff: No, man! Where you been in livin'? Reseda?
Napoleon: No, San Jose
FZ: The evil dope pusher is cutting up a white gym sock, formerly owned by Carl Zappa and still damp. The shredded sock will be placed inside of a high-school diploma And ignited with a sulphur preparation . . .
Napoleon: Wait a minute . . .
FZ: His first taste of big city life
Napoleon: That's okay, wait a minute . . . wait . . .
(DUMMY UP . . . )
Jeff: Hey! The roach of this is really gonna be good, so I'll save it . . .
FZ: Have mercy!
George: Awright . . . awright . . .
Napoleon:
What d'you do with that thing?
What do you do with that thing that you have?
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
What do you do
With that thing?
I wanna know
Napoleon: Wait a minute
FZ: Now the next step of this operation
Napoleon: Wait a minute!
FZ: The evil corrupter of youth is going to take him from Step One, which is a mere high-school diploma stuffed with a gym sock, to Step Two, which is a college-degree stuffed with absolutely nothing at all. Smoke that and it'll really get you out there!
Napoleon:
I still don't feel as good as I felt this mornin' . . . yeah yeah . . .
FZ: You'll grow out of it . . .
Jeff:
DUMMY UP!
Napoleon:
I heard it again, somebody said . . .
Jeff: You see this?
Napoleon:
What d'you mean? College!
FZ: College!
Jeff:
That's college-rhythm
Napoleon:
You mean if I smoke that
It's the same as if . . .
As if I was at college?
Roll it over up!
Roll it over up!
Roll it over up!
Gimme a . . .
FZ: No no, the college-degree is stuffed with absolutely nothing at all, you get . . . you get nothing with your college-degree . . .
Napoleon:
Oh . . .
But that's what I want
FZ: . . . I forgot, I'm sorry
Napoleon:
Well,
You get nothin',
But that's what I want
FZ: A true Zen saying: Nothing is what I want . . . The results of a higher education!
When I view someone's profile and notice they are sending a message, I wonder who are they sending a message to and what are they talking about lol.
I am now tempted to send a message to Malachite, but have no idea what I'd say.
Een nacht hebbe ik mijn moeder en mijn vader praten gehoord.
zij zeggen: "de jong is 17 jaar oud vandaag, en ik geloof hij is geen baby meer. Wij moeten hem laten boogien."
Boogie Mama
Quote from: CalmRage The Mage on August 14, 2013, 03:32:57 PM
Een nacht hebbe ik mijn moeder en mijn vader praten gehoord.
zij zeggen: "de jong is 17 jaar oud vandaag, en ik geloof hij is geen baby meer. Wij moeten hem laten boogien."
Boogie Mama
Dutch?
Keaira told me yesterday that my head makes her think of a box. Lol
yes. i am half-dutch. Kneel before Zod!
Ik ben stom, ik weet dat.
Whoever we are
Wherever we're from
We shoulda noticed by now
Our behavior is dumb
And if our chances
Expect to improve
It's gonna take a lot more
Than tryin' to remove
The other race
Or the other whatever
From the face
Of the planet altogether
They call it THE EARTH
Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right
'Cause we behave the same . . .
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over,
Yes we are
Dumb all over,
Near 'n far
Dumb all over,
Black 'n white
People, we is not wrapped tight
Nurds on the left
Nurds on the right
Religious fanatics
On the air every night
Sayin' the Bible
Tells the story
'N makes the details
Sound real gory
'Bout what to do
If the geeks over there
Don't believe in the book
We got over here
You can't run a race
Without no feet
'N pretty soon
There won't be no street
For dummies to jog on
Or doggies to dog on
Religious fanatics
Can make it be all gone
(I mean it won't blow up
'N disappear
It'll just look ugly
For a thousand years . . . )
You can't run a country
By a book of religion
Not by a heap
Or a lump or a smidgeon
Of foolish rules
Of ancient date
Designed to make
You all feel great
While you fold, spindle
And mutilate
Those unbelievers
From a neighboring state
TO ARMS! TO ARMS!
Hooray! That's great
Two legs ain't bad
Unless there's a crate
They ship the parts
To mama in
For souvenirs: two ears (Get Down!)
Not his, not hers (but what the hey?)
The Good Book says:
"It gotta be that way!"
But their book says:
"REVENGE THE CRUSADES . . .
With whips 'n chains
'N hand grenades . . . "
TWO ARMS? TWO ARMS?
Have another and another
Our God says:
"There ain't no other!"
Our God says
"It's all okay!"
Our God says
"This is the way!"
It says in the book:
"Burn 'n destroy . . .
'N repent, 'n redeem
'N revenge, 'n deploy
'N rumble thee forth
To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
'Cause they don't go for what's in the book
'N that makes 'em BAD
So verily we must choppeth them up
And stompeth them down
Or rent a nice French bomb
To poof them out of existance
While leaving their real estate just where we need it
To use again
For temples in which to praise
OUR GOD
("Cause he can really take care of business!")
And when his humble TV servant
With humble white hair
And humble glasses
And a nice brown suit
And maybe a blonde wife who takes phone calls
Tells us our God says
It's okay to do this stuff
Then we gotta do it,
'Cause if we don't do it,
We ain't gwine up to hebbin!
(Depending on which book you're using at the time . . . Can't use theirs . . . it don't work . . . it's all lies . . . Gotta use mine . . . )
Ain't that right?
That's what they say
Every night . . .
Every day . . .
Hey, we can't really be dumb
If we're just following God's Orders
Hey, Let's get serious . . .
God knows what he's doin' . . .
He wrote this book here
An' the book says:
"He made us all to be just like Him," so . . .
If we're dumb . . .
Then God is dumb . . .
(An' maybe even a little ugly on the side)
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
DUMB ALL OVER
A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE
Quote from: CalmRage The Mage on August 14, 2013, 05:08:12 PM
yes. i am half-dutch. Kneel before Zod!
Ik ben stom, ik weet dat.
welke helft? :-P Ik hou van Nederland. De mensen zijn 'n stuk grote als in Engeland. Daar ben ik niet zo groot voor 'n meisje ;-)
(stand by for a translation for inclusivity for those people who are dutch impaired, or for some reason cannot operate an online translation program :-P ... )
which half? I like the Netherlands cuz the ppl there are taller wich makes me look not so tall for a gal :-)
Are you ready for a rhetorical question?
I've been playing the Resident Evil 6 demo so much that one of my PSN friends messaged me during the game telling me to buy it already lo.
Lol. Well it is a good game if you're willing to rake out the dough for it. We haven't gotten to Ada's campaign yet. We're trying to get all the unlockables on RE5.
The game used is about $17.99 now so that's not too bad but I'll probably pick it up when it's like $5 because that's how cheap I am. At least when I do pick it up I will know the demo parts very well that I can fly right through them haha.
Once again, Caleb and I are fighting. Nothing I say is good enough for him anymore and I am so tired of fighting with him. And I really dont want to fight. I was so mad at him tonight that I told him I wanted to take hip outside and beat his ass like 2 schoolkids in the school yard. And I hate feeling like that. I hate myself for feeling like my only course of action was to fight back. He wont listen to me, wont ask for help from anyone, not even here on Susans.
Im thinking about deleting my account here on susans because of it.
Quote from: Keaira on August 15, 2013, 12:10:38 AM
Once again, Caleb and I are fighting. Nothing I say is good enough for him anymore and I am so tired of fighting with him. And I really dont want to fight. I was so mad at him tonight that I told him I wanted to take hip outside and beat his ass like 2 schoolkids in the school yard. And I hate feeling like that. I hate myself for feeling like my only course of action was to fight back. He wont listen to me, wont ask for help from anyone, not even here on Susans.
Im thinking about deleting my account here on susans because of it.
Yeah, that's not really a good reason to delete your account.
Quote from: caleb. on August 15, 2013, 04:48:47 AM
Yeah, that's not really a good reason to delete your account.
I don't know why you're fighting exactly but yeah, that's not a good reason.
I'm a little stressed since I have to wait for my new birth certificate to apply for my SIN card to change the name on my student loans. I need to get a couple forms in now. School starts in September. I hate time crunches where I have to rely on outside sources before I can get stuff done.
I've been thinking about will power. I'm still thinking about what my friend told me. I'm also thinking of my son's willpower, how proud I am that it is so strong, and that I want to keep it that way, but I don't know what to do when we argue.
I'm really trying to figure out men. You would think all those years I was forced to live as one I would have some sort of insider knowledge. But I don't and so begins the task of trying to find a decent one. :P
There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free . . .
TO SING & DANCE & LOVE
There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil . . .
THAT WE CAN RISE ABOVE
Who cares if hair is long or short
Or sprayed or partly grayed . . .
WE KNOW THAT HAIR AIN'T WHERE IT'S AT
(there will come a time when you won't even be ashamed if you are fat!)
WAH WAH-WAH WAH
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la (a-a-ah!)
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la (oo-wee-ooh!)
Diddle-diddle-dee
(Diddle-diddle-dee)
Diddle-diddle-dee
(Diddle-diddle-dee)
Diddle-diddle-dee
(Diddle-diddle-dee)
Diddle-diddle-dee
(Diddle-diddle-dee)
La la la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la
WAH WAH-WAH WAH
There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free . . .
TO SING & DANCE & LOVE (dance and love)
There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil . . .
THAT WE CAN RISE ABOVE (rise above)
Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford
To buy a pair of Mod A Go-Go stretch-elastic pants . . .
THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN YOU CAN EVEN
TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF WHEN YOU DANCE
There's a bomb to blow your mommy up
A bomb for your daddy too
(Ouch)
A baby doll that burps & pees
A case of airplane glue
A hungry plastic troll
To scarf your buddy's arm
A box of ugly plastic things marked:
Uncle Bernie's Farm!
There's a little plastic congress
There's a nation you can buy
(I'll take two)
There's a doll that looks like mommy
She'll do anything but cry
(I seen her)
There's a doll that looks like daddy
He's a funny little man
Push a button & ask for money
There's a dollar in his hand
(Check his wallet)
We gotta send Santa Claus back to the Rescue Mission
Christmas don't make it no more
Don't you know that murder & destruction
Scream the toys in every store
(Think this'll sell in New York?)
There's a man who runs the country
There's a man who tried to think
And they're all made out of plastic
When they melt they start to stink
There's a book with smiling children
Nearly dead with Christmas joy!
And smiling in his office
Is the creep who makes the toys . . .
I can't afford to buy every video game for $60. I have to determine what makes me a game worth $60 to me.
I wonder if I'm the only one who subconsciously wears the same clothes most of the time. I didn't even notice it for the most part until my gf fussed at me today for always wearing the same button down, cargo shorts, and cap when I have two dressers full of clothes and around 30 caps.
I thought about it and the only reason I can think of for doing that is because I don't have to check my chest in that shirt before going out since it's baggy and has a vertical stripe print. The shorts and hat? Eh, probably because I'm lazy and they're the first ones I see. I do have to get out of this phase since classes start in a few days. People will think I'm odd wearing the same things all the time, lol.
Thinking of listening to some of my old favorite album (Zoot Allures, Apostrophe, Overnite Sensation, Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch)
This here song might offend you some
If it does, it's because you're dumb
That's the way it is where I come from
If you've been there too, let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Show me your thumb if you're really dumb
Show me your thumb if you're really dumb
Show me your thumb if you're really dumb
Show me your thumb if you're dumb
Hey now, better make a decision
Be a moron and keep your position
You oughta know now all your education
Won't help you no-how, you're gonna . . .
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Pumpin' the gas every night
Pumpin' the gas every night
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Pumpin' the gas every night
Pumpin' the gas every night
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Manny de Camper vants to buy some vite
(Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station)
(Fish!)
Manny de Camper vants to buy some vite
(Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station)
(Fish!)
Manny de Camper vants to buy some vite
(Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station)
(Fish!)
Manny de Camper vants to buy some vite
(Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station)
(Fish!)
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Quote from: caleb. on August 15, 2013, 04:48:47 AM
Yeah, that's not really a good reason to delete your account.
I wasn't aware that I needed someones permission to leave. I have plenty of reasons to leave, but none of them I would bring up here.
Disco Boy
Run to the toilet, honey,
Comb your hair
Disco Boy
Pucker yer lip,
'N check yer shoulder,
'Cause some dandruff might be
Hidin' there!
Disco Boy,
You're the DISCO KING!
Aw, the Disco-Thing
Made you think
Someday,
That you
Just might GO SOMEWHERE!
Disco Girl!
You're 'out-a-site'!
You need a Disco Boy
To treat you right
He'll do a little dance;
Take you home tonight
(Leave his hair alone,
But you can kiss his comb)
Disco Boy!
Run to the toilet boy,
'N comb your hair
Disco Boy!
Shake it more than three times 'n yer playin' with it
(WOW!)
While yer standin' there!
(Well . . . )
Disco Boy!
Do the Bump every night, 'til the Disco Girl
Who's REALLY RIGHT
Gonna fall for yer line,
'N feed you a box fulla
Chicken Delight!
Disco chit-chat; so demure!
Pump that booty all across the floor!
A disco drink
A disco wink
"You never go doody!"
(That's what you think)
"You never go doody!"
(That's what you think)
"You never go doody!"
(That's what you think)
Doody
Ah, go doody
Doody
You never go doody
Doody
You never go doody
Doody
You never go doody
Doody
You never go doody
Ah, baby, doody
No doody
Doody
Ah, baby, doody
Disco Boy!
You got one more chance
To comb your hair again
Disco Boy!
They're closin' the bar,
And she's leavin' with your friend!
Disco Boy,
That's the way it goes,
So wipe your nose,
'N try it again,
To get a little laid tomorrow!
Disco Boy,
No one understands,
But thank THE LORD
That you still got hands
To help you do that jerkin' that'll
Blot out yer Disco Sorrow!
It's Disco Love tonight
Make sure you look all right
It's Disco Love tonight
Make sure you look all right
I'm in the wrong mood, thank you very much, mood swings but i have to listen to this:
What'll you do when you get lonely
But nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long
You know it's just your foolish pride
Layla
You've got me on my knees
Layla
I'm begging, darling, please
Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down
Like a fool, I fell in love with you
You turned my whole world upside down
Layla
You've got me on my knees
Layla
I'm begging, darling, please
Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain
Layla
You've got me on my knees
Layla
I'm begging, darling, please
Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
Layla
You've got me on my knees
Layla
I'm begging, darling, please
Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo
Whoo, whoo, whoo
Whoo, whoo, whoo
The GTA V multiplayer video which I need to go watch.
Quote from: ZootAllures! on August 15, 2013, 01:18:00 PM
What'll you do when you get lonely
But nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long
You know it's just your foolish pride
Layla
You've got me on my knees
Layla
I'm begging, darling, please
Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down
Like a fool, I fell in love with you
You turned my whole world upside down
Layla
You've got me on my knees
Layla
I'm begging, darling, please
Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain
Layla
You've got me on my knees
Layla
I'm begging, darling, please
Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
Layla
You've got me on my knees
Layla
I'm begging, darling, please
Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo
Whoo, whoo, whoo
Whoo, whoo, whoo
I feel like crap. Am I going to be alone forever, because i don't know how to make contact with other people in real life and i only get along with a few select people, and with others we just have nothing to say to each other?
When evening falls
She'll run to me
Like whispered dreams
Your eyes can't see
Soft and warm
She'll touch my face
A bed of straw
Against the lace
We believed we'd catch the rainbow
Ride the wind to the sun
Sail away on ships of wonder
But life's not a wheel
With chains made of steel
So bless me
Come the dawn
Come the dawn
Come the dawn
Come the dawn
We believed we'd catch the rainbow
Ride the wind to the sun
And sail away on ships of wonder
But life's not a wheel
With chains made of steel
So bless me, oh bless me, bless me
Come the dawn
Come the dawn
Come the dawn
Come the dawn
http://open.spotify.com/track/44YphNRtNRiyqHZNUdMIUt
My mom found an uncooked chicken nugget I threw outside. She told me to stop feeding the cat.
My response: "okay"
She knows I'm going to continue to do it, but I'll just be more crafty about it.
Next time I get caught, I'll tell her I wasn't feeding the cat....I was feeding the oppossum....the cats just happen to get it.
I want to talk to someone about my kind of crazy, but I don't know who would know what I am talking about and who to trust. I don't want help with it neither do I want to wallow. I'm doing just fine thanks. I just want to talk about it. Especially since I'm confused about it.
I also need to stop being afraid of other people. Although sometimes I wish I could Hulk out on people who piss me off.
Go Kieron.... Na na na na.... Go Kieron.... Na na na.
Rather catchy ::)
In another fantastic journey of me overplaying the Resident Evil 6 demo due to my extreme cheapness of not buying the actual game, I joined up with a guy in the Jake/Sherry campaign. I was Sherry and he was Jake we had great communication to each other giving praises and thanks to each other. Then towards the end I had a remote control bomb in my inventory that I wanted to get rid of so I was going to blow up some crate. I give the command to my partner to "fall back" and he replied negatively.
Sherry: "Fall back"
Jake: "No"
Sherry: "Fall back"
Jake: "What are you mental?"
I gave him two chances to back up but he refused both times so what do I do? I say to myself "okay" and detonate the bomb and it took so much of his health I had to revive him. I gave him some of my health tablets. I think his feelings were hurt a little bit lol. Two minutes later he sent me a friend request haha!
LOL Malachite. Nice.
Machine gun
Tearing my body all apart
Machine gun
Tearing my body all apart
Evil man make me kill ya
Evil man make you kill me
Evil man make me kill you
Even though we're only families apart
Well I pick up my axe and fight like a farmer
(You know what I mean)
Hey and your bullets keep knocking me down
Hey I pick up my axe and fight like a farmer now
Yeah but you still blast me down to the ground
The same way you shoot me down baby
You'll be going just the same
Three times the pain
And your own self to blame
Hey machine gun
Oooooooooo
I ain't afraid of your mess no more, babe
I ain't afraid no more
After a while your your cheap talk don't even cause me pain
So let your bullets fly like rain
'Cause I know all the time you're wrong baby
And you'll be goin' just the same
Yeah machine gun
Tearing my family apart
Yeah yeah alright
Tearing my family apart
Don't you shoot him down
He's about to leave here
Don't you shoot him down
He's got to stay here
He ain't going nowhere
He's been shot down to the ground
Oh where he can't survive no no
Yeah that's what we don't wanna hear any more, alright
No bullets
At least here, huh huh
No guns, no bombs
Huh huh
No nothin', just let's all live and live
You know instead of killin'
Quote from: caleb. on August 15, 2013, 04:39:59 PM
LOL Malachite. Nice.
BOOM....oops
I did feel slightly bad over it....but looknig back on it he/she deserved it!
Pain kept me awake and I just want to go back to bed, but my aunt is coming for supper soon.
Thinking we might could toast marshmallows with the marsh monster.
Only thing marshmallows are good for is hot chocolate.
They're both sweet like you!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4839772132150300%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=f899576dd83f58f3457a8d080ee62e2a7f867660)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4887935913888305%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=bc37e050a17cbee48bcdd7d49a57d5a285e77c62)
Quote from: V M on August 15, 2013, 06:54:39 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4839772132150300%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=f899576dd83f58f3457a8d080ee62e2a7f867660)
Assuming the base is marshmallow, I'll admit that is a very good use for them. Cute!
I wish I knew more about messing around with graphics card settings, shenanigans and general computer tomfoolery.
Just spent the last hour sorting out settings that basically made my system run stuff in its sleep where before it was on the verge of digital hyperventilation. And I have no idea what I actually did. Just followed a guide which said "change this to X, change that to Y" etc. :-\
Quote from: Sephirah on August 15, 2013, 07:45:15 PM
I wish I knew more about messing around with graphics card settings, shenanigans and general computer tomfoolery.
Just spent the last hour sorting out settings that basically made my system run stuff in its sleep where before it was on the verge of digital hyperventilation. And I have no idea what I actually did. Just followed a guide which said "change this to X, change that to Y" etc. :-\
All right, folks, you know the drill.....Get your brooms!
Oh decisions declensions, which one?
I wonder how much eccentricity I can get away with.
About to play more of the Resident Evil 6 demo. I like partnering up with people.
Quote from: Edge on August 15, 2013, 08:38:22 PM
I wonder how much eccentricity I can get away with.
Generally, you know you've gone too far when you hear groups of children, in the streets, speak among themselves in hushed whispers: "keep away from weird, purple-haired, mango-juggling iguana guy".
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 15, 2013, 07:49:54 PM
All right, folks, you know the drill.....Get your brooms!
Say what? :o
Quote from: Sephirah on August 15, 2013, 08:48:48 PM
Generally, you know you've gone too far when you hear groups of children, in the streets, speak among themselves in hushed whispers: "keep away from weird, purple-haired, mango-juggling iguana guy".
Say what? :o
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_Days
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 15, 2013, 08:57:25 PM
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_Days
Well that's... different. I never watched South Park. It sounds very... surreal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNxCvDYpmxE&feature=youtube_gdata_player
The word "shenanigan" isn't used often enough.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth00.deviantart.net%2Ffs71%2F200H%2Ff%2F2012%2F335%2Ff%2Fa%2Fshenanigans_by_aporoid_epic2-d5mrxte.jpg&hash=117c577f04ed5237a5e3f82b785f48d680bf8e3f)
How does one come up with such a beautiful, upbeat melody to these words? Frank Zappa, you were a genius!
You're a lonely little girl
But your Mommy & your Daddy don't care
You're a lonely little girl
The things they say
Just hurt your heart
It's too late now
For them to start
To understand
The way you feel
The world for them
Is too unreal
So you're lonely, lonely, lonely,
Lonely little girl
You're lonely . . .
Every night you sit in your room
Right by your radio
Reading your books
Pictures of the idol you love
The words that he sings
The way that he looks
In a picture on the wall
There's a tear in his eye
I wish GTA V would be release already! I know a lot of people will be calling in sick next month.
Quote from: Malachite on August 16, 2013, 03:33:14 PM
I wish GTA V would be release already! I know a lot of people will be calling in sick next month.
No PC release. :icon_anger:
Last night I borrowed a shirt my brother left behind to wear to bed. He buys his clothes from the men's section, but....uh, you could swear they were from the women's. No one was going to see me, so I didn't care.
But I had to go to the bathroom, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My shoulders have gotten SO broad, and I haven't even done any working out. My grandma's been saying that I seem to really be muscling up, and I thought she was just being nice. But looking at myself in that shirt...it looks like a woman's shirt on a man's body. And I thought "how could anyone think I am female anymore??"
I also caught a glimpse of my face in my brother's mirror (one of those 3 mirrors so you see 3 of you at different angles lol). I was in a crappy mood because I was cleaning my dog's butt again, and I looked...well, like an angry young man.
I have had multiple family members mistake my voice for my youngest brother's. And if even I, the dysphoric one, can see a man's face now...yeah.
I love nordic culture
I wish this forum would have spotify access. That would be like totally awesome.
Apparently some people are incapable of handling honesty.
Alive, very much boobless, not really in pain and with scifi tubes poking from my sides.
Funny how natural this feels.
I really need to tell my mother that I prefer her not to go in my room. She won't listen to me though.
I wish I would have picked up those vampire teeth at Chuck E Cheese instead of giving the tickets to my nephew
hmmm, i went more than just a little insane last night
Not sure about how to act or react to people this night.
Today the local biggest festivities of the year star, and I will be going as a girl for the first time. Seeing as we are in the part of the country where there are the biggest difficulties for finding a girlfriend or having casual sex, and with everybody drunk to the maximum, I can expect somebody trying to hit on me. Most of my friends have to shooo away lists of people desperate for sex.
And I don't know how to react. Hormones are driving my libido crazy as of lately, haven't had sex for a year and without anti depressants, desire is back. But people may be too drunk to notice my manly face... And maybe I should not drink. I don't know what stupid things I can do...
You're probably wondering why i'm here (on this forum)
And so am I
And so am I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMAozN5c1n8
I know when I do transition, I'm glad I will not be told "but you were such a pretty woman".....unless it's my mother or sisters who are biased
I am in no rush for Monday to come, but my issue better resolve itself.
Quote from: Malachite on August 17, 2013, 02:40:58 PM
I know when I do transition, I'm glad I will not be told "but you were such a pretty woman".....unless it's my mother or sisters who are biased
Ohh, lol. Don't be so sure. As female I never seemed to be the pretty one, not even close, but as soon as people found out I wanted to be a guy "but that's so sad! You were so beautiful!" I even had one woman...I was butching it out that day. I mean I was pretty nasty looking, messy hair, acne breakout, sloppy clothes, running on no sleep and hadn't brushed my teeth. And she had heard I was trans and went "I just have to say, I think this is so sad, and you don't have to do this! You are such a beautiful girl, I mean you are just so pretty, you don't have to do this to yourself!"
I think some people say it because they think we transition because we feel too ugly to be women or something. Lol.
Would anybody like to join me in creating an all-transwomon crime fighting team called The Ex-Men?
Quote from: Anna! on August 17, 2013, 07:21:51 PM
Would anybody like to join me in creating an all-transwomon crime fighting team called The Ex-Men?
there goes my coffee to the wall, propelled directly from my mouth. Glad I'm in the kitchen...
One step ahead
I already have the costume Anna!
;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.futurama-madhouse.com%2Fgrabs%2F4acv04%2F404-68.jpg&hash=574c8e0aa194990ed9b467415c7bb0f8ca6beabc)
Quote from: Malachite on August 17, 2013, 02:40:58 PM
I know when I do transition, I'm glad I will not be told "but you were such a pretty woman".....unless it's my mother or sisters who are biased
I was talking about something like this with a friend last night. Her daughter worked as a receptionist in her dad's clinic for awhile and, sometimes, little kids would come in. Every time the little kid was a girl, people would make comments about how pretty they were and every time the little kid was a boy, they'd make comments about how smart they were. It's like that video that's been circulating around of Dustin Hoffman.
Quote from: Anna! on August 17, 2013, 07:21:51 PM
Would anybody like to join me in creating an all-transwomon crime fighting team called The Ex-Men?
I really want to see this.
I started rewatching True Blood (last time, I couldn't get through it) and I'm glad I did. Part of me is grinning because I see Baelfire (his actor anyway) and I like the character with PTSD. It does annoy me how often Bill says "Sookie" though and I just watched a scene where Sookie is complaining about Bill being away and caring more about vampire politics than her when the reason he's gone is because he saved her life from another vampire. So right now, I'm thinking she's a really ungrateful b-word that rhymes with witch.
Quote from: Anna! on August 17, 2013, 07:21:51 PM
Would anybody like to join me in creating an all-transwomon crime fighting team called The Ex-Men?
I can see it right now:
nananananananana-Ex-Men!
I really should think about putting my house in my current name. Its the only thing left that didn't get changed 7 years ago.
The Steve Hoffman Forums, home of soccermoms and soccerdads.
Geez....
Quote from: caleb. on August 17, 2013, 07:02:44 PM
Ohh, lol. Don't be so sure. As female I never seemed to be the pretty one, not even close, but as soon as people found out I wanted to be a guy "but that's so sad! You were so beautiful!" I even had one woman...I was butching it out that day. I mean I was pretty nasty looking, messy hair, acne breakout, sloppy clothes, running on no sleep and hadn't brushed my teeth. And she had heard I was trans and went "I just have to say, I think this is so sad, and you don't have to do this! You are such a beautiful girl, I mean you are just so pretty, you don't have to do this to yourself!"
I think some people say it because they think we transition because we feel too ugly to be women or something. Lol.
LOL woooooow. Now that I think of it, there's a good chance people other than my family will feel the same way. If anything, they will tell me that I only feel this way because I was picked on because of my weight or something like that and will say that losing weight will make me feel better. I really do need to lose a lot of pounds though because that would incease my confidence and make me feel male.
Quote from: Edge on August 18, 2013, 10:50:44 AM
I was talking about something like this with a friend last night. Her daughter worked as a receptionist in her dad's clinic for awhile and, sometimes, little kids would come in. Every time the little kid was a girl, people would make comments about how pretty they were and every time the little kid was a boy, they'd make comments about how smart they were. It's like that video that's been circulating around of Dustin Hoffman.
That's interesting that they just call the boys smart. Normally I'd just hear them be called handsome or cute.
Respond quicker dammit.
clinic therapy next month for about 3 weeks. Oh, no, i don't want to. My mom keeps saying "You DO have a problem. Your depression is getting too heavy. You need help. Do it for me." But i don't to talk with the counsellors and therapists there, my problems are over and my trauma has to resolve itself.
How can I bring up the strength to delete my account?
Quote from: ZootAllures! on August 18, 2013, 05:36:06 PM
How can I bring up the strength to delete my account?
why do you want to?
Quote from: Alice In Genderland on August 18, 2013, 05:39:10 PM
why do you want to?
I AM NOT TRANS, I AM NOT TRANS, I AM NOT TRANS!
I NEED TO GO BACK TO WHERE I REALLY BELONG!
THAT AND MY TRAUMA RELATED MELTDOWNS MAKE ME THINK WEIRD THOUGHTS ABOUT STRANGLING PEOPLE, WHICH IS NOT ME.
I NEED SOME REST FROM ALL THIS.
Although I do remember you saying you were happy here. We have a lot of cis people who frequent the forums, so why not take a break before deleting and see how you feel? Of course it's your choice, I just remember you saying how much you liked it here yesterday or the day before,. You don't have to be trans to like it here. :)
i have a feeling i am slowly losing my mind and i am serious
I hope my fresh caught tuna hasn't gone bad yet. . . :-\
I hope I'll get an appointment to the health care center today so I can get rid of these drainage bags... They're a real pain in the sides. >_< Not painful, just plain annoying.
All in all, I haven't even been that much ache-y. Kinda funny, I expected to be much more crippled. :D
Where ever you go their will almost always be a 'Bluto' making an unnecessary pest of themselves
Wish I could move Pop-eye into Virginia's neighborhood.
Long story short i freaked out, but i'm back.
Glad you are back. I hope those 'freak out' events let up for you as we all have been in some low places.
I have decided to detransition back to female. But I won't stop there, no. I want to transition to Shania Twain. I'd be so much hotter that way. And besides, the signs have been there ever since I was young. I do, after all, have brown hair just like her. And brown eyes. I'm also the same height, and with some weight loss, I could have her sexy body. and I love her music. I think it's well established that I was meant to be her. That is all.
Detransition or not is your choice. Two Shania Twains? Nah! I rather like you as you.
(I'm not actually detransitioning lol, I was being facetious. I think you got that but just in case)
Hmm......
I have been lying to you all along.
I DO have a girl living with me, she's not my girlfriend though. She's not really my type, too small, too hairy and she is more like a sister to me.
She is not very talkative and the only two words in english she seems to know are "rough" and "room". I told her several times that her body is hairy as hell, but you know what she does? She runs around naked in public. People don't seem to mind though. They think it's cute, it seems. She is also about 12 years younger than me, so she is kind of like my little weird sister. She likes rice and noodles and oddly enough, chitlins.
I'm wondering who would feel more pain; a ciswoman getting kicked in her taco or a post-op transwoman getting kicked in her taco, or would it be the same? I've heard that either way, it's just as bad as a guy getting kicked in his balls, if not worse.
Taco? Never heard that term before. :D
Don't talk of getting kicked in the balls, it hurts like hell.
My trivia team is named "All Aboard the Shania Train," so when I read this:
Quote from: caleb. on August 19, 2013, 12:46:58 AM
I want to transition to Shania Twain.
My brain turned it into:
Quote from: caleb. on August 19, 2013, 12:46:58 AM
I want to transition to Shania Train.
Give you all you wishes, with ma taco-flavored kisses........ Taco, now that's a funny word to use for a vagina......
I have no idea what has just happened. I have been panicking so much over the weekend trying to get out of something. I wake up this morning and kind of sorted it out for now. Then I get some new bad news, but have finally sorted that all out and it turns into something potentially really good. It feels like I have won the lottery.
i'm soaking wet. i hate the rain.
I'm wondering what a tall drink of water is? I just had a older man say to me I was a tall drink of water. :eusa_think:
Quote from: Heather on August 19, 2013, 01:01:50 PM
I'm wondering what a tall drink of water is? I just had a older man say to me I was a tall drink of water. :eusa_think:
it's a compliment. He was flirting with you, i think. ;D
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tall%20drink%20of%20water
I want to buy a skateboard. My father says no, and I agree with him. I still want one.
Skateboards hurt if you fall off of them Malachite. Ugh, when I was 14 I fell on my butt, it hurt so bad. -.-"
thank you for giving me a marvelous idea what to listen to, Jamie........
I know what to buy next.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on August 19, 2013, 04:44:53 PM
Skateboards hurt if you fall off of them Malachite. Ugh, when I was 14 I fell on my butt, it hurt so bad. -.-"
You should have worn a butt-helmet. ;)
I've rode one once a long time ago at a party. It was scary but fun. Seem like a nice way to travel around provided I don't break all my bones bones. >.>
My best friend always sat on his skateboard while riding it.
Quote from: Malachite on August 19, 2013, 04:49:29 PM
You should have worn a butt-helmet. ;)
I've rode one once a long time ago at a party. It was scary but fun. Seem like a nice way to travel around provided I don't break all my bones bones. >.>
When I was little I mostly just sat down on it with two friends at once and rode down little hills >.< lulz
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on August 19, 2013, 04:53:47 PM
When I was little I mostly just sat down on it with two friends at once and rode down little hills >.< lulz
Oooo I was mostly riding down a hill of house on that day. The car was at the bottom. It was so awesome going down that hill so fast not knowing how to properly stop.
Quote from: Heather on August 19, 2013, 01:01:50 PM
I'm wondering what a tall drink of water is? I just had a older man say to me I was a tall drink of water. :eusa_think:
I get that one sometimes, it is a somewhat flirty thing usually to flatter you and start up a conversation :) Seems a favored pick up line used by cowboys... "Well now, you're a tall drink o' water"
Quote from: V M on August 19, 2013, 05:34:15 PM
I get that one sometimes, it is a somewhat flirty thing usually to flatter you and start up a conversation :) Seems a favored pick up line used by cowboys... "Well now, you're a tall drink o' water"
howdy mam! Want a glass o' my homebrewnd whishkey? Shaddle up.
That's what i'm thinking of when i hear flirty cowboys.
Quote from: Malachite on August 19, 2013, 04:39:54 PM
I want to buy a skateboard. My father says no, and I agree with him. I still want one.
I use to love riding my skateboard in younger days when I lived in Calif. :) But you do have to learn how to take a fall and be ready to take a few bumps and bruises along the way
Quote from: Malachite on August 19, 2013, 04:39:54 PM
I want to buy a skateboard. My father says no, and I agree with him. I still want one.
get a long board, you can still express your style the way you ride plus one small push and you can coast for days 8)
Quote from: ZootAllures! on August 19, 2013, 05:35:15 PM
howdy mam! Want a glass o' my homebrewnd whishkey? Shaddle up.
That's what i'm thinking of when i hear flirty cowboys.
LOL... Not all cowboys are drinkers but I have had a few offer me some whiskey before :D
Quote from: V M on August 19, 2013, 05:42:02 PM
LOL... Not all cowboys are drinkers but I have had a few offer me some whiskey before :D
"takes off cowboy hat"
that'sh whishkey, mam!
Yee-haw!
Quote from: V M on August 19, 2013, 05:39:07 PM
I use to love riding my skateboard in younger days when I lived in Calif. :) But you do have to learn how to take a fall and be ready to take a few bumps and bruises along the way
As long as I'm not falling all the time I suppose lol.
Quote from: Kaitlin4475 on August 19, 2013, 05:39:50 PM
get a long board, you can still express your style the way you ride plus one small push and you can coast for days 8)
That might actually be better since I would have no intentions of doing tricks, just coasting adn getting from point A to Point B
The dog is getting pretty good at telling me its bedtime.
If everything goes well, I will be selling my PSP with the movies and accessories
then I realized I keep my top surgery money in one of the PSP cases and I've grown attached to them....
I left one PSP case out by accident but still, I will miss my hard case. If this guy flakes, I'm not going to complain, but I will switch the case out for the next buyer and take new pictures.
Quote from: marsh monster on August 19, 2013, 06:57:45 PM
The dog is getting pretty good at telling me its bedtime.
Mine too, she just laid her head down on my foot, that means it's time to sleep. She also wakes me up on time every morning by jumping on me and licking my face. :)
I wish I could get some kind of brain scan or testing done that would have evidence in favor in me being transgender. I know there are tests like that out there, but even if I did get it and show it to my family, they would probably still deny it. I know one of my sisters would even say "well you don't have to be that just because the test shows that".
28 days until GTA V....ugh can't wait. Hope there's cheat codes.
You're right Malachite. People will believe whatever they want, and it often doesn't matter what you show them.
And that's the sad part. I supposed it's the whole "don't confuse me with the facts" thing....heck it's facts, evidence, doctor tests, scriptures, documentaries etc. :/
http://youtu.be/fqs9DYisSsg
I'm not resetting my clock again....
*20 seconds later*
I decided to reset my clock. Wow.
Tall drink of water = refreshing to look at
for those of you who didn't know.
I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere
As long as we remember them, the people we hold dear will never truly be gone.
Thank you for everything, i was too young to appreciate it, grandma.
I do not believe in the afterlife, but i do believe that something always lasts of a person, whether it's their deeds, their love for us or just our memories of all the fun times. I will always miss you, grandma. I always will.
Sorry, people, my mother found something that my grandma wanted to give me when the time was right, but my grandma died 8 years ago and she never will be able to.
It's kind of bittersweet. I hope this post isn't triggering.
I asked my mom was she happy that I have no children and she paused and said "out of wedlock yeah" but she wants me to get married and have kids. I told her I was never going to have kids. She then told me that she was "worried" about that. I said "well at least you will never have to babysit them but she wants to. Then she says that she want all her kids to have husbands and be married. I think she suspects that I like women and that I don't like men. She's just like my dad in that sense. He wants his bloodline to continue but he's sad because it will end with me. Sorry mom, sorry dad. I'm never having children of my own free will, and chances are I am not going to marry a man....a cismale at least.
Quote from: Heather on August 19, 2013, 01:01:50 PM
I'm wondering what a tall drink of water is? I just had a older man say to me I was a tall drink of water. :eusa_think:
cool and refreshing...and tall or
according to urban dictionary: n. 1. A man or woman that is tall, gorgeous, and super delicious. Like on a hot day, a tall drink of water is absolutely appealing.
got mine and my brother's yards mowed this afternoon. Have had so much rain lately that they were way overdue. Now I don't have to listen to the mowing guys that come into the store during the day give me a hard time about it any more this week.
total caffeine overdose....never again! I actually had intense chest pains from it. No thanks.
Those five/six set packs of boxers... Do they make them in any pattern
other than plaid? Why just that??
Quote from: ZootAllures! on August 20, 2013, 05:36:29 PM
total caffeine overdose....never again! I actually had intense chest pains from it. No thanks.
Auch, yeah. I'll get that way with just a cup of extra bold - terrible pain in the arse. Pity it tastes so good...
I wonder what adventures I'll run into this time playing the Resident Evil 6 demo.
Roll on family meal tomorrow :3 I am going to order myself two sides if I can :S.
So much for playing Resident Evil 6 demo with my young nephew around
Quote from: Malachite on August 22, 2013, 04:49:21 PM
I wonder what adventures I'll run into this time playing the Resident Evil 6 demo.
I can tell you what you run into on the full game, the same boss 3 times per character story.
Miss Bungle, you had me in stiches with that video! Thank you. ;D
How the heck did I go from telling a facebook friend, " Well, what are you waiting for? You dont need my permission!" To being called "mistress," when that friend suddenly turned submissive? Im almost scared to tell him to have a nice day in case he sees it as an order. -_- I really have some.... interesting friends.
Quote from: Keaira on August 22, 2013, 05:19:38 PM
I can tell you what you run into on the full game, the same boss 3 times per character story.
Ada is a boss isn't she ;)
Quote from: Night Haven on August 22, 2013, 04:31:35 PM
Those five/six set packs of boxers... Do they make them in any pattern other than plaid? Why just that??
Auch, yeah. I'll get that way with just a cup of extra bold - terrible pain in the arse. Pity it tastes so good...
Or was it because of all the sugar.i'm scared for my health, it's happening again.
Quote from: Malachite on August 22, 2013, 05:24:36 PM
Ada is a boss isn't she ;)
She is a pain in the butt is what she is.
Quote from: Keaira on August 22, 2013, 06:18:26 PM
She is a pain in the butt is what she is.
lol that too, at least from what I saw
We're fostering three puppies that are less than 10 days old. @.@ They have to be fed every two hours and it takes an hour to feed them! Teaching them to use a nipple and take puppy formula is hard!
Quote from: Keaira on August 22, 2013, 06:18:26 PM
She is a pain in the butt is what she is.
Ah, but what you may not know is that the Ada we saw in RE6 was not always, in fact, Ada.
Quote from: Arawn Bheur on August 22, 2013, 08:05:28 PM
We're fostering three puppies that are less than 10 days old. @.@ They have to be fed every two hours and it takes an hour to feed them! Teaching them to use a nipple and take puppy formula is hard!
Yes, my mom and sisters and I had to bottle feed a litter of Siamese kittens after 'Bonnie' the mother cat was hit by a car
What we did was squeeze a drop of formula out and rub the the nipple against their mouths until they took hold themselves
It took a little while but they caught on and all kittens survived to go to good homes
What does feeling sublime have to do with sublimation anyways?
Maddy, feeling either sublime or sublimated.
Quote from: V M on August 22, 2013, 10:55:13 PM
Yes, my mom and sisters and I had to bottle feed a litter of Siamese kittens after 'Bonnie' the mother cat was hit by a car
What we did was squeeze a drop of formula out and rub the the nipple against their mouths until they took hold themselves
It took a little while but they caught on and all kittens survived to go to good homes
We're on the fourth feeding and two of them are doing fairly well with the feeding especially since we switched to a bigger nipple. The other one, though, is being a bit more of a pain. My mom had to use the eyedropper to make sure she got something. =/ Hopefully the next feeding in a couple of hours will go fine.
Ben Affleck better do a good job as Batman
My daughter was supposed to be born 2 days from today. How different my life would be right now if things happened differently.
Dentist appointment in less than an hour. I can feel my money being zapped from me.
Apprehensive
Nervous
Xylous
Insecure
Obstructed
Upended
Shocked
Back from the dentist
Oh, poop. My heart is racing as I am going out for a meal in a minute :/
everyones ready but me :/
I'm so tired. @.@ I had to wake up every hour to make sure the heating pad didn't shut off. We're going to be using hand warmers that have been put into two or three socks so the puppies don't get to them. I'm iffy about the idea, but my parents think it'll be fine.
Anyway, the puppies have names!
The male (which is the one I was handed at the fostering place) is called King Tut (Tut for short), my mom's is named Icis, and my dad's is Marshmallow (he hated the idea of naming her Cleopatra and he really wanted one to be called Marshmallow so his got the name).
I'll have to get more pictures because they're adorable! Now if we can convince them that it's a good idea to defecate.
In my journey of playing the Resident Evil 6 demo I have slowly started to use my mic....too bad half the people don't respond when I tell them do to something benefitical.
Sometimes, I don't know my own strength and I wonder when I got stronger without really doing much. And then other times, I seem weaker than I was even pre-HRT. Like today, I had bags of groceries and they just seemed really heavy. Granted they were stuffed but still. It seemed like I should have been able to carry them anyway.
I want to go to bed and never wake up....
Quote from: Keaira on August 24, 2013, 01:11:32 AM
I want to go to bed and never wake up....
I wanted that when I was with you in Indiana. Not the never waking up part, but to never have to leave your side.
People keep saying Christina Aguilera has gotten fat, but I think she looks great as she is. Comfortable and confident.
I love the rain but it is really dark
The Aussie Mafia. I haven't seen some of the key members in a while. I miss seeing them post.
I'm thinking about what sort of visualizations and graphical representations might be effective in capturing the discursive dynamics of the forum. Any thoughts?
Maddy
I really like when it rains. Everyone elses day is ruined >:-). I like walking in the rain too. Maybe that could be my thing. Exercise/walking when it rains. I also like nighttime, but I look tasty... need I say more?
Whats that song? I can picture the video to it but not the lyrics :-X. I'm off on an adventure!
I bought a pair of pairs of tweezers!
Now I'm having fun learning which hairs REALLY REALLY STING when you pull them out of your nose
Also how to repair my threading job from a couple weeks back on my own. So far so good; if I keep at it maybe I can keep it looking respectable.
I was walking into the local Safeway store and got the really nasty stink-eye from a male in long shorts, combat boots with a lot of tattoos. I thought, "Oh brother, consider the source though Shantel, a total douche bag loser"....Meh!
Note: This never comes from middle class types, just the low-brow, street-type bottom feeders. :icon_ballbounce:
Just got home from class. I'm not "all there". I feel light headed and my reaction time has slowed. I don't know why. Perhaps it was because I got no sleep yesterday and I pulled 9 hours in class today or perhaps it's this 5 hour energy shot, which gave me temporary energy but that seen ended. I feel a bit fidgity. I definately couldn't drive home even if I wanted to.
I woke up at 13:00 laid in bed watched Lego star wars with my son, now I think I'm gonna take a nap.
I just woke up and I'm feeling much better and not as light headed! I guess I just had to sleep off that generic 5 hour energy shot. I can't belive something so small could take out a 250 + pounder like me.
So, day 3 of this madness....
Tonight I spoke to my Sister about this sub/domme business and she was kind of surprised and said" here i am deep in the erotic hypnosis and fetish stuffs and you're the one with a subbie"
I told her I am so not the type for this stuff. And what she said surprised me. She said I would be an amazing Domme because I am a very steong, commanding woman who has to have things her way most of the time. She called me an Alpha. I immediately thought of the TV show, Teen Wolf.
I am so out of my element. Caleb thinks it's hilarious. I want to say, "look, move on." But he seems to be genuinly happy to call me, 'Mistress'.
Why me?
I start my new job tomorrow. I have to give a presentation. If the subject were gender diversity, transition, HRT, or anything else trans-related, I'd feel like I'd been preparing diligently. But it isn't.
Maddy
Quote from: Fairy Princess with a Death Ray on August 25, 2013, 08:35:51 AM
I start my new job tomorrow. I have to give a presentation. If the subject were gender diversity, transition, HRT, or anything else trans-related, I'd feel like I'd been preparing diligently. But it isn't.
Maddy
You'll do fine hon!
What kind of presentation?
Quote from: LordKAT on August 25, 2013, 11:21:28 AM
What kind of presentation?
Software training for new employees. It's actually pretty self-explanatory stuff.
Cool, I think you will do well.
Balls. I just popped a burn thingy in my mouth and now it hurts
Burn thingy? Balls?
I've heard of great balls of fire before, but not in my mouth.
Oi, that is not a pretty picture.
Quote from: LordKAT on August 25, 2013, 11:30:18 AM
Cool, I think you will do well.
Thank you for your confidence. I'm feeling much better about it now.
I'm thinking that I might be trans.
I'm thinking it's 1 hour and 33 minutes till Breaking Bad starts.
there's a big spider in my room and i don't know where it ran off to.
Quote from: ZootAllures! on August 25, 2013, 06:57:00 PM
there's a big spider in my room and i don't know where it ran off to.
Probably to gather reinforcements.
Thinking you're all killing me with kindness. Seriously, I had so many messages today I forgot my chicken out on the grill. It wasn't burnt, but it was a bit dry. I love you all. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 25, 2013, 07:04:21 PM
Thinking you're all killing me with kindness. Seriously, I had so many messages today I forgot my chicken out on the grill. It wasn't burnt, but it was a bit dry. I love you all. Hugs, Devlyn
In that case, here is an unkind message to balance it out.
Don't scare me like that again.
Quote from: LordKAT on August 25, 2013, 07:15:16 PM
In that case, here is an unkind message to balance it out.
Don't scare me like that again.
I won't, you have my word. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Keaira on August 25, 2013, 04:56:35 AM
I am so out of my element. Caleb thinks it's hilarious. I want to say, "look, move on." But he seems to be genuinly happy to call me, 'Mistress'.
Hey, introduce him to Az. :P And I do think it is hilarious lol. I don't think you'd be a good Domme...I think you have a secret submissive side that you're too afraid to express. ;)
Oh good lord I'm asking for a GP tomorrow. Scratch that - today.*Sweating ensues*
Arguing with a jackass is a waste of time and besides, most folks won't know the difference
I am not sure about something. Do they deserve it backtracked? Should they get so much? Am I being treated unfairly. Are they taking advantage of me. Should I get someone else involved. Meh. And where are you?
My sister is the type of person who makes a bigger deal out of things than what they really are. I told her my father and I were temporarily not on speaking terms because I'm mad at him for calling me and telling me to "get my lazy (censored)" to meet him outside. My sister goes "and that hurt your feelings?" not in a sarcastic way. I had to think about it but I told her not really, it was more of shock but she insisted that it hurt my feelings and insisted that it was a little bit of both. She she looks at me with those eyes that makes me feel convicted hwen no conviction is there and I start to get nervous so I ramble off.
Oh gosh when I come out to her, I will need to wear sunglasses because she will try to find some deep underyling meaning as to why I "feel this way". Then she will make me feel all nervous when she look at me with those eyes, when I shouldn't feel nervous. I'm a man. End of it.
I'm wondering what I really want.
Quote from: Malachite on August 26, 2013, 05:40:49 PM
My sister is the type of person who makes a bigger deal out of things than what they really are. I told her my father and I were temporarily not on speaking terms because I'm mad at him for calling me and telling me to "get my lazy (censored)" to meet him outside. My sister goes "and that hurt your feelings?" not in a sarcastic way. I had to think about it but I told her not really, it was more of shock but she insisted that it hurt my feelings and insisted that it was a little bit of both. She she looks at me with those eyes that makes me feel convicted hwen no conviction is there and I start to get nervous so I ramble off.
Oh gosh when I come out to her, I will need to wear sunglasses because she will try to find some deep underyling meaning as to why I "feel this way". Then she will make me feel all nervous when she look at me with those eyes, when I shouldn't feel nervous. I'm a man. End of it.
My aunt was kind of like that, and probably still is (I haven't seen her in a long time). She gave me a long talking to and tried to psychoanalyze me when I was coming out lol. These types really do mean well but it comes off really offensive. Thing is, there's probably not much you could say to convince her. Even if you were super confident and said all the "right" things her mind will still wander. Best thing you can do is just be yourself and be firm in your resolve to transition, and in time she'll see that you're not going to change your mind.
Whoa freaky, Malachite and I were viewing each other's profiles at the same time. :laugh:
Quote from: LearnedHand on August 26, 2013, 07:59:42 PM
Whoa freaky, Malachite and I were viewing each other's profiles at the same time. :laugh:
Lol wow were we really? For some reason I don't recall viewing anyone's profile within the last 5 minutes though. Odd. I must be getting old.
Quote from: Malachite on August 26, 2013, 08:02:26 PM
Lol wow were we really? For some reason I don't recall viewing anyone's profile within the last 5 minutes though. Odd. I must be getting old.
Or, Susan's lied to me. >:( Maybe it was when you were replying to my PM.
Though, I am thinking now, that I need to take a shower (even though I'd rather just go and eat ice cream).
Quote from: caleb. on August 26, 2013, 06:37:12 PM
My aunt was kind of like that, and probably still is (I haven't seen her in a long time). She gave me a long talking to and tried to psychoanalyze me when I was coming out lol. These types really do mean well but it comes off really offensive. Thing is, there's probably not much you could say to convince her. Even if you were super confident and said all the "right" things her mind will still wander. Best thing you can do is just be yourself and be firm in your resolve to transition, and in time she'll see that you're not going to change your mind.
Sadly I think you're right. -sigh- Everything will just go back to "well you feel this way because the kids picked on you at school...." or "your father wasn't around" etc. or she will tell me to pray about it because some even entity has taken over my mind. :/
Quote from: Malachite on August 26, 2013, 08:02:26 PM
Lol wow were we really? For some reason I don't recall viewing anyone's profile within the last 5 minutes though. Odd. I must be getting old.
After this I only have one more refill of my T. That means they have to fax the endo to renew it and get approval. The only issue is I lost my hemoglobin test form so I haven't been giving him that info (I get more thorough bloodwork done with my GP anyway).
Quote from: Glitterfly on August 26, 2013, 08:04:45 PM
time to get the prescription for alzheimer's... :D
I can't afford it. :/ guess I'll just go crazy then. Seems funner. :)
Quote from: LearnedHand on August 26, 2013, 08:05:21 PM
Or, Susan's lied to me. >:( Maybe it was when you were replying to my PM.
I'm thinking that's what it probably was. Often times when I'm viewing someone's profile who is viewing mine, I feel like a happy Spongebob and think "omg, they are viewing me, yay I'm special enough to them to view me, and I'm viewing them at the same time which makes it even more awesome!"
Quote from: Glitterfly on August 26, 2013, 08:40:19 PM
xD aww... it probably is xD
speaking of crazy i looked at your pizza pic and at first i saw a brush made of pizza dusting a tile floor made of pizza... :o
uhoh....
;_; No! Laptop battery don't die on me.
I think I have came to a massive realization with something else as well. It is probably not going to work. Life. Life is probably not going to work.
The butt licking, barf eating, furry tailed rat is trying hard to get on my nerves this morning, but I won't let him. He's still darned cute though.
Oh wait, now he's trying to cuddle...
He wants something...
Where on earth did lot 67 come from? darn it people, learn how to record your deeds. . .
Quote from: some old bag lady on August 27, 2013, 09:27:04 AM
The butt licking, barf eating, furry tailed rat is trying hard to get on my nerves this morning, but I won't let him. He's still darned cute though.
Oh wait, now he's trying to cuddle...
He wants something...
You couldn't be talking about Jake?
Yuck, there was a spider on my bed! I'm sooooooooo glad I wasn't asleep! I killed that spider and flushed him down the toilet.
Quote from: Malachite on August 27, 2013, 05:33:25 PM
Yuck, there was a spider on my bed! I'm sooooooooo glad I wasn't asleep! I killed that spider and flushed him down the toilet.
Good thing you beat him to the punch! :D
Quote from: Shantel on August 27, 2013, 05:36:46 PM
Good thing you beat him to the punch! :D
I got off the bed and put my two shoes on my hands, let him come closer, swipped him off the bed and crunched him with my shoe. :)
Quote from: Malachite on August 27, 2013, 05:41:59 PM
I got off the bed and put my two shoes on my hands, let him come closer, swipped him off the bed and crunched him with my shoe. :)
Jack killed a couple of flies and wound up being a giant killer, wonder what's next for you? ;D
Quote from: Shantel on August 27, 2013, 05:45:19 PM
Jack killed a couple of flies and wound up being a giant killer, wonder what's next for you? ;D
Hopefully no more spiders anytime soon. I'm still on edge.
Quote from: Malachite on August 27, 2013, 05:54:47 PM
Hopefully no more spiders anytime soon. I'm still on edge.
No giant spiders in your future? Are you wimping out?
I think it is a bad idea to have arguments with oneself.
Quote from: Shantel on August 27, 2013, 05:56:50 PM
No giant spiders in your future? Are you wimping out?
Sure am lol. I hate spiders
Quote from: Glitterfly on August 27, 2013, 05:57:52 PM
:o spiders are everyone's friends... :(
No
I'm hungry
I never really liked anything that could be considered girly. I always pretended to like certain things. Then decided to stop pretending to like feminine things to fit in.
But as I slowly become more comfortable with myself, I find myself being drawn to things that are somewhat feminine. Lol. Now I have to do the whole "accepting myself as I am" thing all over again.
Spiders deserved to be annihilated with a fatality Mortal Kombat style. 8(
Good thing I don't live in Australia...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbite-prod.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F07%2Faustralia-huge-spiders-health-bar1.jpg&hash=d5df5ffce1438ceb37152cd95079092671ea595d)
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 27, 2013, 09:47:27 PM
A few days ago I was reading in bed while being very nearsighted and minus contacts, so the book wasn't too far away, when there appeared a giant (for my ordinary non-Aussie area, okay) wolf spider on its merry way down between my face and the page. The next night I felt a tickle on my elbow, peered over, and found another one the same size. This one I had to carry while it went up my forearm before I located something suitable for killing it with. I do believe I put a shirt on after that one.
*Shivers* Oh god...
I would have flipped out and slapped that bastard across the room.
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 28, 2013, 12:11:56 AM
I understand the impulse, but I've misfired and lost them in the bedding before... :-X
*Chills* That's... Oh, dear...
And now I have a firm reason to clean my room. :P
Quote from: Liam Erik on August 27, 2013, 09:47:27 PM
A few days ago I was reading in bed while being very nearsighted and minus contacts, so the book wasn't too far away, when there appeared a giant (for my ordinary non-Aussie area, okay) wolf spider on its merry way down between my face and the page. The next night I felt a tickle on my elbow, peered over, and found another one the same size. This one I had to carry while it went up my forearm before I located something suitable for killing it with. I do believe I put a shirt on after that one.
Should have seen me when I saw this grasshopper-looking thing sitting on my front door as I came up the stairs. and i about screamed when I saw the thing could fly!!
What the hell do you americans feed your wildlife over here? back in europe, grasshoppers are tiny little things. Over here they're big enough to put a saddle on. Same with some of your beetles. Then there's the bats that keep coming into our apartment somehow. I find myself wishing I was back in the UK at such times.
I wish the girls had a 'Badass' thread. I dont feel pretty, but I feel capable. it's like I've accepted that yea, I'm plain, but I'm still worth something.
Stop chasing the bats. They are there to eat all those bugs that you complain about. I'm going to run out of bats pretty soon if you keep this up.
Then stop putting the bats IN my apartment, the bugs are on the outside of it. I've had to Catch and release 6 bats since I moved in here 2 years ago! Why do you think I don't feel pretty? I have to get all armoured up to catch the little buggers so they don't bite me and I dont get rabies or something. Thats why all I feel is capable.
Ok, I see the problem. I will have to retrain them to work from the outside. I hope they don't mind being on the outside looking in when there is such a beautiful lady on the inside.
I think they will be fine. I'll let them know when this beautiful lady stops by so that they can chat.
All you have to do is smile.
The shine will tell them the rest.
That strat sounds sweet............
Are you sure LordKAT? Bats dont have very good eyesight do they?
Is strong willpower something that one is born with, something caused by the environment, a mixture, or does everyone have the potential to have strong will power?
My son has a strong will like me. I am so proud, but it makes somethings difficult.
When people find out and/or acknowledge who they are, does everyone find out that they really like themselves or am I just lucky?
Quote from: Keaira on August 28, 2013, 07:47:48 AMI wish the girls had a 'Badass' thread.
Why don't you start one?
The difference between willpower and stubbornness is......
Quote from: LordKAT on August 28, 2013, 09:14:18 AM
The difference between willpower and stubbornness is......
Stubbornness has a negative connotation and implies that the person is unwilling to change their attitude on something in spite of good reasons to do so. Willpower is more like determination.
Close enough. Stubbornness is a inability or unwillingness to change. Willpower is determination or choosing to maintain. Stubbornness can be a good thing.
Someone at Tumblr noted that the eyebrows of Attack on Titan characters have changed (read: grown) as the anime has progressed. At first I was thinking "oh, that happened to my art, too" and then I realized it happened to ME as well. :'D Thank you T for making my eyebrows grow.
Apparently "ladies first" is still a thing at restaurants? As much as I like reaffirming that I pass, wouldn't it make more sense to go around the table in a circle taking everybody's orders?
Quote from: Anna! on August 28, 2013, 02:16:43 PM
Apparently "ladies first" is still a thing at restaurants? As much as I like reaffirming that I pass, wouldn't it make more sense to go around the table in a circle taking everybody's orders?
You're passing up one of the few female privileges in exchange for common sense.
Quote from: Shantel on August 28, 2013, 02:38:06 PM
You're passing up one of the few female privileges in exchange for common sense.
I prefer common sense :).
I also worry that people will accuse me of transitioning just to get female privileges (especially the ones that don't quite understand how dysphoria works) :(
Running a chainsaw for about half an hour about wore me out, but it is hot and I am old...
whew.
Also doggy needs to learn to stay away from me when I'm using something like that, he kept wanting to stick his nose around and explore all around where I was trimming and cutting up a tree.
At least now I and a neighbor can mow without running into a bunch of mimosa limbs sticking out everywhere.
i love non-alcoholic champagne.......
When I get top surgery, I should remember to bring Dr. Garramone a gift. I wonder what though.
There was a spider in our garbage can. Wtf is up with spiders lately? -shudders-
Quote from: Malachite on August 28, 2013, 03:18:43 PM
There was a spider in our garbage can. Wtf is up with spiders lately? -shudders-
It's that time of year where I live, usually starts up around June/July and lasts through Oct./Nov. I have spider traps all over my apt. and have stomped a few of the little :icon_censored: just like every year
Quote from: V M on August 28, 2013, 04:08:43 PM
It's that time of year where I live, usually starts up around June/July and lasts through Oct./Nov. I have spider traps all over my apt. and have stomped a few of the little :icon_censored: just like every year
Yuck. That means it's about time for me to have the house sprayed again, especially my room.
I've made my decision as to how I will address any (possible) rumours spread about me by students. Now I can finally stop thinking about it.
Quote from: Keaira on August 28, 2013, 07:47:48 AM
I wish the girls had a 'Badass' thread. I dont feel pretty, but I feel capable. it's like I've accepted that yea, I'm plain, but I'm still worth something.
It's a start, low self-esteem girl. :P I think you are badass
and pretty.
I've noticed lately that when dysphoria rears its ugly head lately, I get a weird, nausea-like ache below my stomach. It doesn't hurt, doesnt make me feel like I'm going to be sick, its like having the ache of missing the one you love in your stomach. It lasts for just a moment but its very noticable.
take-over-the-world muffins
I wish I could get past this depression thing
Yeah. . . this "productive" thing clearly isn't happening today.
Quote from: caleb. on August 28, 2013, 04:43:30 PM
I've made my decision as to how I will address any (possible) rumours spread about me by students. Now I can finally stop thinking about it.
Yeah but don't go to class like that, put some clothes on Caleb! :icon_peace:
Why do I have a fan club?
29th day without smoking is done in about 30 minutes, woot. I'm pretty much past the nicotine addiction, now I'm only fighting the habit.
But an upside about quitting smoking is to have more effect from T. My doctor did say smoking would cause T not to work as efficiently, so to speak, and now I can confirm that's true in my case. :D
Quote from: Keaira on August 29, 2013, 03:18:21 PM
Why do I have a fan club?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2smz_1L2_0
I GOT BLISTERS ON MAH FINGERS!
Worth it.
If I don't get this dispatching job, then hopefully I'll look for a job where I can take bus transportation, even though I intend on having a car and license by then.
I have exactly 17 minutes before I need to put my chicken breast on the grill...
Quote from: some old bag lady on August 29, 2013, 04:54:46 PM
I have exactly 17 minutes before I need to put my chicken breast on the grill...
Gee, hope it isn't too painful hon! :D ;D :laugh:
Oh gawd, I couldn't resist Jaime Renee, you stepped in that one girlfriend! :icon_peace:
Quote from: Shantel on August 29, 2013, 05:37:20 PM
Gee, hope it isn't too painful hon! :D ;D :laugh:
Oh gawd, I couldn't resist Jaime Renee, you stepped in that one girlfriend! :icon_peace:
Heck, I wish my breasts were as big as some of those chickens have.
And it's all been cooked and eaten and Jake just finished cleaning off the plate.
Quote from: some old bag lady on August 29, 2013, 05:44:29 PM
Heck, I wish my breasts were as big as some of those chickens have.
And it's all been cooked and eaten and Jake just finished cleaning off the plate.
Aww honey, now I'm feeling like something Jake left in the yard for picking on you! :icon_redface: :icon_bunch:
What a lucky pup, he lives well for a dawg!
Quote from: Shantel on August 29, 2013, 05:52:01 PM
Aww honey, now I'm feeling like something Jake left in the yard for picking on you! :icon_redface: :icon_bunch:
What a lucky pup, he lives well for a dawg!
Oh, you're fine.
And yeah, I know I spoil the little rat, but he's a good little guy.
Yea, I wish mine were bigger too. Getting out the bathtub yesterday I looked at myself in the mirror and thought I looked like a fat guy.
Quote from: some old bag lady on August 29, 2013, 05:56:06 PM
Oh, you're fine.
And yeah, I know I spoil the little rat, but he's a good little guy.
Such a sweet gal, thanks Boo-Boo! xox
Quote from: Keaira on August 29, 2013, 05:58:22 PM
Yea, I wish mine were bigger too. Getting out the bathtub yesterday I looked at myself in the mirror and thought I looked like a fat guy.
It takes longer for some of us, my first 12 years on E and I only had minnies, They finally developed well beyond sprouts and I actually have less body fat now than I did back then. Cheer up kids!
SaveMeJeebus
Quote from: Jamie D on August 30, 2013, 04:03:42 AM
SaveMeJeebus
I'm thinking about how powerless I feel to help.
Quote from: caleb. on August 29, 2013, 03:28:15 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2smz_1L2_0
I thought the part where she went over the railing was best! :D ;D :laugh:
I'm starting to become an expert on the resident evil 6 demo (though I have no clue how to use the explosive rounds). I start to see some of the same people play and there's one guy in particular who I love to partner up with. If I could marry the guy I would because he knows the ins and outs of the demo just like me and he effectively communicates through the game. That's my favorite type of partner and I hope to see him online again today. After I play a couple of more games with him I may add him as a friend. I find that the best partners in the game are the ones I can communicate with well. I can even get a feel for who is new at playing, someone that's been playing for a little bit of time, and someone who has extensively been playing it. Oftentimes those in the first category are harder to work with, but it provides a sense of accomplishment when they navigate their way through and eventually be the demo with them. Oftentimes those in the second category are harder to work with, as they usually completely ignore communication, which usually ends up getting them killed, especially in the Jake and Sherry campaign. It's like seriously, If I'm above and you're below and I tell you to wait, then you should wait so I can help you shoot the zombies and zombie dog near you. If I tell you to fall back, it's because there's like 4 or 5 zombies waiting to shoot you up ahead and you're not going to get far if you think you're going to go guns ablazing. You're going to die if you do so let me snipe them off. It won't ins santly kill them and yeah they will transform, but at least they won't be constantly shooting at you. Just stay out of the claw's range and you will be good. I think the worst campaign for lack of communication is Chris and Piers since there's a secret room with a shot gun, first and spray with a crate. I Piers and I always tell my partner to "follow my lead" after getting rid of the large B.O.W. temporarily. I hate when my partner doesn't do that though but every time he does I motion to him "thanks" or "I appreciate it" or "nice" or "good one". The partner I was talking about earlier, the guy is so good at the game he already knows and I don't have to tell him anything which is awesome!
Stubborn, perseverance, ye.
My dad taught me the difference between stupidity and bravery one day. They can seem to be the same thing sometimes.
7 more days til he will have been dead for a year.
My abusive father offered to call me to talk about my grandma and I don't know what to do. I am tempted. I wrote a whole long post about it, but I must have accidentally not posted it.
Quote from: Edge on August 30, 2013, 10:10:52 PM
My abusive father offered to call me to talk about my grandma and I don't know what to do. I am tempted. I wrote a whole long post about it, but I must have accidentally not posted it.
If your grandma was his mother it may be interesting and he may have some personal emotions to share about her that may give you some insight as to what makes him so abusive. Who knows? It may be an epiphany moment for him and something that you don't want to miss out on!
I need to force myself to enjoy being a female. Wouldn't it be something if I were to ask for our notorious banned blogger to help me do that? I've thought about it before but I don't know if I would but dang, there's nothing in store for me transitioning but pain and heartache and being more isolated than I am now (and I'm pretty freaking isolated). I could save alot of time and money not transitioning. I just need to be a woman. It's funny because before I considered transition and option I had little ambition. Afterwards....well, I still had little ambition, but at least I was eager to be the person that I am. Why cant I just be a woman? I need to stay a woman. The way I see it, I'm going to be miserable either way, man or woman. I should just stay a miserable woman that become a miserable man.
If you plan to be miserable, do it as yourself. What guy wants to more miserable as a girl?
I am curious though, why are you feeling miserable?
I want to know who the "notorious banned blogger" is. ???
Quote from: LordKAT on August 31, 2013, 08:40:32 PM
If you plan to be miserable, do it as yourself. What guy wants to more miserable as a girl?
You do have a point there.
Quote from: LordKAT on August 31, 2013, 08:40:32 PM
I am curious though, why are you feeling miserable?
I've always been a miserable person ever since I was little, and it stems for my personal experience being trans.
Quote from: Jamie D on August 31, 2013, 08:49:05 PM
I want to know who the "notorious banned blogger" is. ???
I can't say lol.
Quote from: LordKAT on August 31, 2013, 08:40:32 PM
If you plan to be miserable, do it as yourself.
Like LordKat said Malachite. I think it's best to just be yourself and just focus on the positives. Right now, you're living as female, in situations that aren't ideal, but there's always something good that you have, and that's hope for a better future. Without hope that things will be better, there's nothing, whether you're living as female or male, that will make you happy. Try to live as happily as female as you can right now, but don't forget that you have the power to make things better for yourself, whatever your choices may be.
Quote from: LearnedHand on August 31, 2013, 09:20:04 PM
Like LordKat said Malachite. I think it's best to just be yourself and just focus on the positives. Right now, you're living as female, in situations that aren't ideal, but there's always something good that you have, and that's hope for a better future. Without hope that things will be better, there's nothing, whether you're living as female or male, that will make you happy. Try to live as happily as female as you can right now, but don't forget that you have the power to make things better for yourself, whatever your choices may be.
Thanks. I really do appreciate the advice.
Quote from: Shantel on August 31, 2013, 10:04:46 AM
If your grandma was his mother it may be interesting and he may have some personal emotions to share about her that may give you some insight as to what makes him so abusive. Who knows? It may be an epiphany moment for him and something that you don't want to miss out on!
Yeah my grandma was his mother. We were both very close to her and to each other. I know what makes him abusive. He refuses to admit he was abusive or that he has done anything wrong.
I would appear that my marriage has ended and that my wife has just outed me to my son.
Life is just grand :(
Ouch. I hope if she told your son, she didn't put you down in the process. Kids end up in the middle of so many things that they have no control over.
I wish I had a sense of exactly what he knows. This is really not how I'd planned for this to go. :-\
Quote from: Edge on August 31, 2013, 10:12:57 PM
Yeah my grandma was his mother. We were both very close to her and to each other. I know what makes him abusive. He refuses to admit he was abusive or that he has done anything wrong.
Some folks are just incapable of stepping outside of themselves and seeing things from other's perspectives, and then actually admitting to a fault is again yet another thing. This makes it difficult to forgive when they can't feel any need to offer an apology.
I found some copies of old blog entries from years ago that I had saved from MySpace. They only covered less than a year, but it was kind of weird reading them and seeing what my state of mind was back then.
I'm halfway tempted to post them in my blog here.
Quote from: some old bag lady on September 01, 2013, 11:19:41 AM
I found some copies of old blog entries from years ago that I had saved from MySpace. They only covered less than a year, but it was kind of weird reading them and seeing what my state of mind was back then.
I'm halfway tempted to post them in my blog here.
You should, after all it's your transition history!
Sam And Max Season 3 is dark as hell, not as upbeat as Seasons 1 and 2 and here's a little spoiler for you: Max sacrifices his life to save the universe and gets replaced by an alternate universe version of himself from a universe where Sam had to sacrifice himself.
Still don't get how a little dog can emit such a nasty fart.
Quote from: some old bag lady on September 01, 2013, 07:16:26 PM
Still don't get how a little dog can emit such a nasty fart.
Probably has everything to do with the people junk food you allow him to woof down girlfriend!
Quote from: Shantel on September 01, 2013, 08:14:53 PM
Probably has everything to do with the people junk food you allow him to woof down girlfriend!
No, even if I go a few days without giving him people food, he still does it. I think its the vegetable content of his doggy food as he's even worse when I've fed him dog food even higher in vegetables. And he did eat a couple bowls of dog food today.
Oftentimes I feel like I can't reach out to people because I don't want to be a burden.
My seven-year-old son is giving me instructions on how to moderate stress, visualize goals, and meditate.
He's an old soul. ;)
Quote from: Malachite on September 01, 2013, 09:40:19 PM
Oftentimes I feel like I can't reach out to people because I don't want to be a burden.
Depends on the person. Personally, I find it easy to be reached out to. I have met others though who struggle with it.
Quote from: Edge on September 01, 2013, 10:12:09 PM
Depends on the person. Personally, I find it easy to be reached out to. I have met others though who struggle with it.
I struggle with it probably because I'm so shy and sometimes can't find the right words to say in replies.
Quote from: Liam Erik on September 01, 2013, 10:40:12 PM
Me too.
Even when I do reach out, I understate everything, all the time. Sometimes I don't understate here on Susan's, but even in my 'get me out of here before I do the 's' word and die' last ditch letter to my mom all I wrote was something like, 'I'm more depressed than usual.'
I tend to understate myself at times as well.
Quote from: Glitterfly on September 01, 2013, 11:02:30 PM
Who said you shouldn't be a burden when you're feeling bad? and why did you go and believe them? :) friendship and love is about support! if there is no burden, no weight to support, what are you supporting? air? :)
Take your time til you find the right words :) No point in sending the wrong words!
Liam Erik,Malachite
Don't understate things, people will never go the extra five miles to find out what you really meant! They'll never assume you don't mean what you say unless you show clear signs of being dishonest. For your own good, please say things as they are! It's hard, but it will get easier if you get used to doing it... ^-^
Hopefully it wil get better as I get more confidence within myself.
I get what you're saying, but I actually meant from other side. Does this make more sense? Personally, when other people reach out to me about their problems, it's not a burden to me at all.
I also worry about being a burden and am shy. I am just a lot stupider when it comes to stopping myself which is a mistake because me and people don't get along.
Quote from: Edge on September 01, 2013, 11:10:20 PM
me and people don't get along.
I'm with Sartre, most of the time. "Hell is other people" :-\
That being said, I can take on other people's problems with relative ease. I move pretty naturally into the Frasier Crane "I'm listening" stance. sharing my problems with others? That's a skill I'm only recently making progress with.
I sure could go for a nice bowl of noodle salad right now.....
STOP READING MY MIND, SUSANS PEOPLE!
:D
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 02, 2013, 05:11:59 AM
I sure could go for a nice bowl of noodle salad right now.....
STOP READING MY MIND, SUSANS PEOPLE!
:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJuWdyq0ETA
I'm missing half of the site. c'mon stupid replacement debit card!!!!
I'm getting old. My eldest daughter is 21 years old and going out with her boyfriend ( who is ftm, which makes me happy too), but she looks like she is going to a furry convention. She has a headband with yellow ears and matching tail, while wearing a teal gingham top and jeans.
And all I can do is shake my head and sigh at her questionable life choices. I just want her to go to school, get a degree and get a career. Instead she would rather stock shelves at walmart. -_-
What did you do? Have her when you were 10?
Teens are rebels in general. If she is at least working and not loafing, she is going in the right direction. She just might need a bit of time before figuring out that you really do know what you're talking about.
Quote from: Alice Danielle on September 02, 2013, 05:36:46 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJuWdyq0ETA
not noodle soup, noodle salad.
http://www.essen-und-trinken.de/uploads/thumbnails/7536/00000017536/1024x1024/Hausgemachter-Nudelsalat-56196b158ea430099e61e2901f98cf29_Hausgemachter%20Nudelsalat%20006a.jpg
Looks good :) We call it pasta salad here, there are several different types that can be made
Always a great summer dish :)
Quote from: Glitterfly on September 02, 2013, 12:18:31 AM
Hopefully you all get confidence to share your problems and to realise friendships and relationships of all kind are (and should be) mutual! you can shoulder a lot of other people's problems... but then so can they! and they get to! just like you! it's only fair :) they get to do for you what you get to do for them... and unless being taken advantage of, they won't mind it anymore than you ^^
Thanks
Ugh, all my classes areat night this semester. I am going to have to get used to staying up late again.
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 02, 2013, 07:25:44 AM
not noodle soup, noodle salad.
http://www.essen-und-trinken.de/uploads/thumbnails/7536/00000017536/1024x1024/Hausgemachter-Nudelsalat-56196b158ea430099e61e2901f98cf29_Hausgemachter%20Nudelsalat%20006a.jpg
I know :) Just posting what I was thinking after reading your post.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 02, 2013, 01:51:06 PM
Ugh, all my classes areat night this semester. I am going to have to get used to staying up late again.
Pretend you're in Hawaii and it should work out just fine :D
I'm thinking about getting dreadlocks.
I used to have a father. Then he changed. Now i only have my mother's side of the family left. :-(
Sometimes i feel haunted by the past. Why did it have to be like this?
I'm thinking about coming out to my other sister but at this particular time, it would profit me nothing to do so, so I'll probably wait until I book a top surgery date.
Quote from: Malachite on September 02, 2013, 04:02:03 PM
I'm thinking about getting dreadlocks.
Do it! You'll look badass.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 02, 2013, 07:25:46 PM
Do it! You'll look badass.
I kind of want to, but the the maintenance of them seems very tedious.
Right now I am thinking that I am super hungry and that I should make my dinner to take to school tomorrow. I also have homework that's due for the first day of class tomorrow, and a quiz, but I can't do any of it yet because I have to pick up my books at the school bookstore to do it. I hope I have enough time before class.
When I let my hair down it's typically to my mid-back.
I'm thinking about how to make our diet more healthy despite the fact that I'm lazy and hate cooking.
Quote from: Glitterfly on September 02, 2013, 10:23:51 PM
soymilk! :D also can you buy seaweed where you live? seaweed is yummy ^^ you can usually buy it roasted too, you don't have to prepare it, you can eat it dry... or you can simply make rice and then wrap it in seaweed (the dry seaweed gets soft and moist when you put the rice on it) and eat the wraps, not much preparation! if you want to make it healthier though, instead of rice use nuts, acorns, seeds, fish and other sea animals :) cucumber and other vegetables as well~ fry/stir-fry quickly in soy sauce and oil then wrap in seaweed :) not much work.
That sounds... Really good, and now I'm hungry. Definitely going to have to try making some of that.
Ugh, double posting, I know.
My "Not a Girl" hoodie is done, and I'm more or less prepared to out myself at school tomorrow. Stellar thing to start the year with, but it's probably maybe efficient.
So, uh, send me good luck vibes or something. I'll make a post about how everything went in two days time, once I'm finished with all my classes.
Quote from: Night Haven on September 02, 2013, 11:33:34 PM
Ugh, double posting, I know.
My "Not a Girl" hoodie is done, and I'm more or less prepared to out myself at school tomorrow. Stellar thing to start the year with, but it's probably maybe efficient.
So, uh, send me good luck vibes or something. I'll make a post about how everything went in two days time, once I'm finished with all my classes.
Pictures???
Quote from: Alice Danielle on September 02, 2013, 11:42:43 PM
Pictures???
Hah~ I'm not much use with a camera, but if I can find one I'll try to put up a picture on here.
In the meantime: "NOT A GIRL" in white iron-on letters (about 1'' tall) just above the center of a black hoodie. I had intended for the text to be a bit higher up, but it still turned out well and I'll be more or less comfortable wearing it in public. ;)
Quote from: Glitterfly on September 03, 2013, 12:10:49 AM
^_^ Glad I could help~! I hope it goes really well at school tomorrow... *hug*
*Hugs back* Thank you, Glitter~
I feel on edge, but I need a nap. I couldn't sleep last night and my son was up at five.
Quote from: LordKAT on September 02, 2013, 06:46:56 AM
What did you do? Have her when you were 10?
Teens are rebels in general. If she is at least working and not loafing, she is going in the right direction. She just might need a bit of time before figuring out that you really do know what you're talking about.
She's really my Step-Daughter. But her father visits her so rarely that To her I'm Dad. Although that might be changing, what with transition and all.
Quote from: Glitterfly on September 02, 2013, 10:23:51 PM
soymilk! :D also can you buy seaweed where you live? seaweed is yummy ^^ you can usually buy it roasted too, you don't have to prepare it, you can eat it dry... or you can simply make rice and then wrap it in seaweed (the dry seaweed gets soft and moist when you put the rice on it) and eat the wraps, not much preparation! if you want to make it healthier though, instead of rice use nuts, acorns, seeds, fish and other sea animals :) cucumber and other vegetables as well~ fry/stir-fry quickly in soy sauce and oil then wrap in seaweed :) not much work.
That's a good idea. I'm on the east coast of Canada, so we have dulse here.
what i'm thinking? well right now i'm thinking how to find the square of 18 and then multiply it by the square of 16 and then by 9, without getting up to get to the calculator. i could use the cal on the phone but i'll have to log out for that :/
Quote from: Edge on September 03, 2013, 01:10:03 PM
That's a good idea. I'm on the east coast of Canada, so we have dulse here.
Nova Scotia?
Quote from: Edge on September 03, 2013, 02:28:43 PM
New Brunswick
Gotta give me an A- for a close guess! ;D
The Little Big Planet Karting demo is pretty cool. I put the settings on casual where it states "everyone's a winner" and it makes me feel good about myself. Sackboy is so adorable when he wins. The way his tounge sticks out and how he smiles and cheers makes me want to cheer like that and I do. Yaaaaaaay! I want to hug him sometimes.
Now I'm thinking about a scrotum sack. Wish I had one
Damn you boobs, you keep undoing the buttons on my shirt. >:(
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 03, 2013, 07:30:57 PM
Damn you boobs, you keep undoing the buttons on my shirt. >:(
:D ;D :laugh:
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 03, 2013, 07:30:57 PM
Damn you boobs, you keep undoing the buttons on my shirt. >:(
LOL... This is a phenomenon that I have learned about :laugh: A lady came up to me and said "You've come undone dear" and my first reaction was to look if my fly was open and then I realized that she was referring to my girls playing peak a boo :icon_redface: She was nice and gave me a small safety pin :)
Quote from: V M on September 03, 2013, 08:33:50 PM
LOL... This is a phenomenon that I have learned about :laugh: A lady came up to me and said "You've come undone dear" and my first reaction was to look if my fly was open and then I realized that she was referring to my girls playing peak a boo :icon_redface: She was nice and gave me a small safety pin :)
Old habits die hard! ;D
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 03, 2013, 07:30:57 PM
Damn you boobs, you keep undoing the buttons on my shirt. >:(
Damn you belly, hiding my boobs :P
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 03, 2013, 07:30:57 PM
Damn you boobs, you keep undoing the buttons on my shirt. >:(
And that's why I come here! It's all about the learning. :D
Quote from: Shantel on September 03, 2013, 08:36:53 PM
Old habits die hard! ;D
Yes some elements from years of conditioning still haunt me :-\
Quote from: Keaira on September 03, 2013, 08:50:00 PM
Damn you belly, hiding my boobs :P
Darn you belly, hiding my penis
wait.... >.>
what do guys see in me that I don't? There's a guy who lives in Pakistan wanting to get to know me better and a guy from Texas. The only pictures they have seen are my Facebook profile picture and background. my FB avitar is the same as my one here. Both seem like great guys. And the one from Pakistan doesn't seem perturbed by my transgender status. Poor Caleb's going to have to work out and learn to fight to keep these guys at bay. :P
Yeah, one is into modelling and the other...clearly works out. Lol. I'm going to have to step up my game. :P
Dont worry, you have nothing to worry about Caleb ^_^
Quote from: Malachite on September 02, 2013, 06:16:31 PM
I'm thinking about coming out to my other sister but at this particular time, it would profit me nothing to do so, so I'll probably wait until I book a top surgery date.
To add to this thought, I'm thinking when I do come out to her, if I see there's any chance she might be accepting of me, that I would give her the link to this site and encourage her to join it to see that we are just ordinary people and not controlled by the devil. I would even tell her my screen name and to go through all my posts to see what goes through my mind and how I really feel about my transgenderness. However, I would only do this if I feel confident she wouldn't run around and tell others, which I'm somewhat confident she wouldn't do.....well she may go and tell the oldest sister but she already knows (whether she accepts it or not, which she doesn't, I already came out to her).
I feel like I may be able to go through to her more than the oldest sister. Then again, I hope they don't act like lunatics when I tell them I actually plan on getting top surgery. I know my mom will act like that.
Legen....wait for it....
... dary!
I'm wondering if I should go to a zombie thing and socialize or stay home and get more much needed cleaning done. I'm also wondering where I am going to put the garbage when I'm done cleaning since the bin outside is completely full (the whole building shares it and the shop downstairs just opened up this week).
I'm also thinking of Norse mythology, asatru (which I keep get the letters mixed up) pagans, Odin, Loki, and my thoughts and feelings on them all. Someone I met relatively recently who I might see at the zombie thing is an asatru pagan.
I think I would make a great villian.
Quote from: Malachite on September 04, 2013, 04:20:06 PM
I think I would make a great villian.
After the mass ant murder debacle I'd have to agree! ;D
Quote from: Shantel on September 04, 2013, 06:09:53 PM
After the mass ant murder debacle I'd have to agree! ;D
Lol you remember! I blasted through a couple of wants with a water hose last week. It was fun. Seeing them and all the eggs swimming around.
It's official. I would not survive a zombie apocalypse. Unless I started it. Even then, it would put a damper on my plans for world domination.
I want to ramble about stuff, but don't have anyone to ramble to.
It's only the second day of school, and I already have a hand injury from my backpack. My Domestic Relations casebook is so huge and heavy that I hurt my hand carrying it around with me today, and from picking up my heavy backpack off the floor and off the seat of the train to put it back on my back. My hand is swollen and the bones in it hurt. I am definitely not going to be knitting this weekend.
Quote from: Malachite on September 04, 2013, 04:20:06 PM
I think I would make a great villian.
I can't decide if I'd be a great villain or not. Sometimes, I am rather evil, but I rarely act on my evil thoughts. I think I'd be one of those people who kind of walk the line between being villain and not being a villain if I had superpowers.
I hate vegetarian shark week. (Vegetarian because there's no blood and gore :P)
Looking through my photobucket albums I realized something. many of my past times and hobbies were fueled by depression, but this dork still lives on in a happier place. ^_^
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2FLightsabers%2FHPIM1686.jpg&hash=dcc0063f6c38f39b42ad090bf3acc10db8efd1cc)
Quote from: Keaira on September 05, 2013, 08:49:14 AM
Looking through my photobucket albums I realized something. many of my past times and hobbies were fueled by depression, but this dork still lives on in a happier place. ^_^
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2FLightsabers%2FHPIM1686.jpg&hash=dcc0063f6c38f39b42ad090bf3acc10db8efd1cc)
Sure hope so i have to say as a Star Wars nerd. Stay star-warsy/dorky, Keaira, lightsabers are just cool.
Towards the end of 'him', it seems like in order to get a photo of me I had to have a lightsaber in my hands!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2F060609_125000.jpg&hash=bb64f86f93b26b157667216f8d3b763ef7955772)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2FLightsabers%2FHPIM1702.jpg&hash=38b1c0e521df5dd8966e1441c96a4c9b10bbeb5b)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2Fcandid%2520pics%2FHPIM1353.jpg&hash=0a1c6e54160c9a5c2f54fc6dcf2973cc41cb2f47)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2FLightsaber%2FHPIM0177.jpg&hash=e681170bbc0bb005441d480f933e04e873c2b869)
What's funny is I like Star Trek more and I don't have any pictures of me in uniform. And I know it's kind of weird showing off pre-transition pictures like this, but I'm not afraid to show my geek past, my trans history. And while my self perception is not the best, he was at least seen (apparently) as pretty hot at Valeo among the ladies and 'cool' by at least one woman I know from high school.
EDIT: Oh yea, and I didnt smile much either. -_-
Boy was i miserable!
Quote from: Keaira on September 05, 2013, 09:04:47 AM
Towards the end of 'him', it seems like in order to get a photo of me I had to have a lightsaber in my hands!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2F060609_125000.jpg&hash=bb64f86f93b26b157667216f8d3b763ef7955772)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2FLightsabers%2FHPIM1702.jpg&hash=38b1c0e521df5dd8966e1441c96a4c9b10bbeb5b)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2Fcandid%2520pics%2FHPIM1353.jpg&hash=0a1c6e54160c9a5c2f54fc6dcf2973cc41cb2f47)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo98%2FMiriTekker%2FLightsaber%2FHPIM0177.jpg&hash=e681170bbc0bb005441d480f933e04e873c2b869)
What's funny is I like Star Trek more and I don't have any pictures of me in uniform. And I know it's kind of weird showing off pre-transition pictures like this, but I'm not afraid to show my geek past, my trans history. And while my self perception is not the best, he was at least seen (apparently) as pretty hot at Valeo among the ladies and 'cool' by at least one woman I know from high school.
EDIT: Oh yea, and I didnt smile much either. -_-
Boy was i miserable!
Do you still have them? I say it again, lightsabers are awesome.
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 05, 2013, 09:24:09 AM
Do you still have them? I say it again, lightsabers are awesome.
Oh yes! and I have a new one:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2F20130809_083005_zpsfcb696b8.jpg&hash=4c0744ebe4979982136065145326763e33719ddb)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2F20130809_083024_zpsad19f496.jpg&hash=b81ccff5a8d2a6e29a1b8e7cfed12a6f86c775d7)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2Fphoto-140.jpg&hash=2437d7b621d08aac9f9762cd14f0df229e8d0e12)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2Fphoto-137.jpg&hash=e178e7883b6318f92f0938125ad86488ecb49024)
Quote from: Keaira on September 05, 2013, 09:57:14 AM
Oh yes! and I have a new one:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2F20130809_083005_zpsfcb696b8.jpg&hash=4c0744ebe4979982136065145326763e33719ddb)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2F20130809_083024_zpsad19f496.jpg&hash=b81ccff5a8d2a6e29a1b8e7cfed12a6f86c775d7)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2Fphoto-140.jpg&hash=2437d7b621d08aac9f9762cd14f0df229e8d0e12)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2Fphoto-137.jpg&hash=e178e7883b6318f92f0938125ad86488ecb49024)
Nice!
Slice and dice!
"zoom"
I love it. the Aurabesh (Alien writing) says 'Miri Tekker' on it, which is my Fursona ^_^
Quote from: Keaira on September 05, 2013, 10:01:51 AM
I love it. the Aurabesh (Alien writing) says 'Miri Tekker' on it, which is my Fursona ^_^
where did you get it?
Yay, I think I might be getting a great volunteer opportunity helping low-income people with their petitions at a courthouse. :) I think I'll know next week.
got called into work this morning not long after getting up. My day off, but that's ok, more overtime hours and I need to get some practice in on all the new paperwork generated by the new scanning systems. And apparently, I'm basically the assistant manager there, just without the official title and being trained to become a manager. Just hope they don't move me to a store I don't like anytime soon, lol. I like the one I am at and its only a mile from my house. Took me like 13 minutes to get dressed, find the dog outside, put him in and get to work this morning and that included light makeup.
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 05, 2013, 10:03:19 AM
where did you get it?
it was custom built for me based on a design I created.
Quote from: Keaira on September 05, 2013, 01:17:40 PM
it was custom built for me based on a design I created.
that's cool. How much did you pay for it?
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 05, 2013, 01:19:11 PM
that's cool. How much did you pay for it?
Nothing. it was built by a very dear friend of mine.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.wikia.com%2Fstarwars%2Fimages%2Fd%2Fd9%2FBastila_render.jpg&hash=f1a164abc64d64b65a1c9956e78b5fc68d1fb4ad)
10 million cookies for the person who knows who this is.
How did you get a hold of my picture??
Quote from: Jamie D on September 05, 2013, 02:10:31 PM
How did you get a hold of my picture??
ze jerman govvernmennt vants a wort wiz joo. Do joo heff jedeeee powass?
Ve heff been searching vor joo vor a long time, Bastila Shan.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc04.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Fi%2F2010%2F138%2F5%2F9%2FBastila_Shan_V4_by_intrepid1708.jpg&hash=c6a7f7a3ead99f4de0f0b1a30eca98d3a3a461d1)
That's me alright. ;)
Quote from: Jamie D on September 05, 2013, 02:25:17 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc04.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Fi%2F2010%2F138%2F5%2F9%2FBastila_Shan_V4_by_intrepid1708.jpg&hash=c6a7f7a3ead99f4de0f0b1a30eca98d3a3a461d1)
That's me alright. ;)
come back to the light side of the force. I am sorry Mission called you a "prissy little jedi princess".
We didn't have ground beef for me to make my hamburger and bean dish, so I took some frozen patties and ground them up in the food processor lol.
As I was cooking it I was thinking about how angry I am that there are people who feel suicidal because of how hateful our society is. That many of us consider suicide before we consider transition. That some of us still consider suicide because it's just so hard to get through our day to day lives sometimes, just for taking hormones and having surgeries to be happy with ourselves and at peace. What a load of bull. I want to do something about it. But I don't really think visibility is the road for me - for personal reasons, but also because I think we have enough visibility at this point and it's not working. In some ways, it's making things worse.
I took down my trans group because no one but me cared enough to even show up. Today, my former friend is claiming they're going to set up another one. This is the former friend who took out her low self esteem on me. She got a response from the guy who attacked the trans group last year saying he's going to promote it at PFLAG.
So we've got a group no one wanted run by someone who can't stand to have even small mistakes corrected promoted by a transphobic bully. Nah I can't see any problems arising from this.
I also feel way too scared of mere words and the opinions of people I hate. That sucks.
Quote from: Edge on September 05, 2013, 02:43:30 PM
I took down my trans group because no one but me cared enough to even show up. Today, my former friend is claiming they're going to set up another one. This is the former friend who took out her low self esteem on me. She got a response from the guy who attacked the trans group last year saying he's going to promote it at PFLAG.
So we've got a group no one wanted run by someone who can't stand to have even small mistakes corrected promoted by a transphobic bully. Nah I can't see any problems arising from this.
I also feel way too scared of mere words and the opinions of people I hate. That sucks.
They sound totally clueless.
Lol I know that's not helpful, but that's honestly all I can think of their behaviour.
To be honest, I'm kinda scared that it's going be a success and that everything bad that happened is solely directed towards me because I've got "subhuman" tattooed on my forehead or something. (I don't actually. It just feels like it.)
Given what you've told me about these people you interacted with, I'd say, if their group goes well, it's more of an indication of the sad state of society rather than a reflection on you. I know a lot of people who want to be all "LGBT-inclusive" but only when it's "fun" or "convenient", and heaven forbid that they actually try to combat their own transphobic thoughts in the process. They have the attitude of "well I say I support it so I can do no wrong."
I say forget 'em, seriously. You're already dealing with enough in your life. You have transition, which believe me, is a bigger stress than it feels and takes a lot out of you, especially early in. You've got your classes to complete, you have your son that you have to take care of, and I am sure many other things that are more worthy of your attention and concern than these "supportive" people.
Yeah I know. I'm still working on the not letting them get to me part.
I should say for my posts that it is easier said than done, I'm trying to shake off what other people may or may not think of me as well.
I just always say to me myself "F*** 'em if they can't take a joke(me)."
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 05, 2013, 01:56:11 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.wikia.com%2Fstarwars%2Fimages%2Fd%2Fd9%2FBastila_render.jpg&hash=f1a164abc64d64b65a1c9956e78b5fc68d1fb4ad)
10 million cookies for the person who knows who this is.
Bastilla Shan from Star Wars: Knights of the old republic
A great game. She really was a "prissy little jedi princess" wasn't she?
Really stuck up and snooty.
Quote from: marsh monster on September 05, 2013, 03:11:36 PM
I just always say to me myself "F*** 'em if they can't take a joke(me)."
Attitude is everything! :D
Quote from: Shantel on September 05, 2013, 05:13:15 PM
Attitude is everything! :D
Yeah, I used to worry my butt off, but after working with the public for a few years, its helped me a lot. I'll talk to anyone and not get all nervous about it.
I've always heard that if I come out, I need to have a back-up plan in case I get kicked out and some money. There's a small part of me that wants to come out to my mom now and just use my life savings (which is about 4 grand including my top surgery fund) to use that and live in a motel or apartment, work somewhere and start a new life if it comes to the point of me having to move out. The rational side of me says to wait about a year to come out when I have the funds for top surgery and a little extra to live comfy soemwhere else in case I get kicked out then. Neither option is wrong, but I may go with the rational plan.
So I really dislike Katy Perry's new song. The official music video is out, I'm about to watch and see if sex truly does sell.
Quote from: caleb. on September 05, 2013, 06:40:31 PM
So I really dislike Katy Perry's new song. The official music video is out, I'm about to watch and see if sex truly does sell.
+1 There's not much real talent out in the music industry anymore, it all seems to be some kind of sexual performance for those unable to discern the difference between visual sleaze and vocal talent.
Quote from: Shantel on September 06, 2013, 10:46:25 AM
+1 There's not much real talent out in the music industry anymore, it all seems to be some kind of sexual performance for those unable to discern the difference between visual sleaze and vocal talent.
there is, just not in the charts or public. What a shame, instead of the talented ones we always get performance artists like Lady Gaga and her ilk.
My fingernails are painted....
I shouldn't be afraid of other people. Other people should be afraid of me.
I am also thinking about Loki.
On the subject of music, I rarely meet anyone who likes the same music as me.
I am kinda hungry but I don't want to eat. It's also cold in here, so maybe I'll take a bath and bring some coffee with me, but then I'll just be cold again once I get out of the tub.
Going to be buying another car in a month. Looking online at some options and trying to decide if I want an automatic or 5 speed. Hmmm...Really digging a 5 speed Saab and a automatic Eclipse I'm looking at.
Quote from: Si on September 06, 2013, 06:12:40 PM
Looking online at some options and trying to decide if I want an automatic or 5 speed.
What's the difference between an auto and a 5-speed? Is 5-speed just a manual?
I think this is time for me to start a "we need to talk about cars" thread.
Quote from: Si on September 06, 2013, 06:12:40 PM
Going to be buying another car in a month. Looking online at some options and trying to decide if I want an automatic or 5 speed. Hmmm...Really digging a 5 speed Saab and a automatic Eclipse I'm looking at.
Manual is ok for occasional, but unless you're really into cars, I'd go for the automatic.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 06, 2013, 06:15:47 PM
Is 5-speed just a manual?
Yep. :)
Quote from: marsh monster on September 06, 2013, 06:24:44 PM
Manual is ok for occasional, but unless you're really into cars, I'd go for the automatic.
I can drive either. I like manual because a clutch is cheaper to replace than an automatic transmission. Plus there is always the increased gas mileage.
I still have awhile to look around. I'm sure I'll go with price when considering.
The litany of boredom and frustration and doing my best to ignore my own suicidal inclinations
Quote from: V M on September 07, 2013, 08:12:14 AM
The litany of boredom and frustration and doing my best to ignore my own suicidal inclinations
Get busy and find something to do outside and away from the regular routine. Better not entertain those negative thoughts Virginia, you know your Auntie Shan thinks you're kinda special so I'm dedicating this my 5001st post just to you kid! :icon_bunch:
As many of you might know, I moved back home with my father to attend law school and to help him out some after my mother died, it's too expensive in the Northeast to live on my own. Things are fine, the areas pretty nice, it's close to where I work, I don't have to pay rent, but my younger siblings. . . make life here less than ideal. All except my youngest brother are irresponsible liars, who steal and sell everything for drugs, and are continually about to burn the house down (I mean that literally--they put stuff in the oven, and then leave, causing me to come home awhile later wondering why the air smells like smoke). Their friends are just as bad, and because my siblings never lock the door, their friends just let themselves into the house all the time without knocking, there's times when I am home all alone and random young men let themselves in and make themselves comfortable. They're all under 21 and yet they sit here and drink alcohol and do drugs on our property. They break into things to pawn and scrap stuff to pay for their habits. Luckily, I don't have much of anything of value and my little dog is a biter, so when someone broke into my room through the window one day (I padlock the door), they didn't get anything. They did though break into my father's room (which he also padlocks) and stole some jewelry we had from my great-aunt who passed away, and they even sold my father's plumbing machine coil (300-lbs of stainless steel) for scrap. (*it's hard to always know who "they" are, since I am never here when it happens)
I am never around when they're doing this, if so, I'd have no hesitation on calling the police. But today, my father informed me that while I was out , he heard my dog barking and wondered why. He went over to where she was barking and saw those kids on the back porch making hash oil with one of his blow torches. Instead of calling the police, he just told them to leave. Now these creepy kids keep pulling into the driveway, idling, and then pulling out. I think they're waiting for us to go to sleep. My father has one of their jackets which has drugs in the pocket. Dad doesn't want to report it to the police, because he doesn't want them to have a criminal record--IMO they need one, they're not just innocent little hippies smoking some dope. There's been a string of break ins in the area recently, and I bet they're involved. None of them have jobs, how can they afford drugs? If they break into our house and steal our stuff, they have to be doing it to other people as well. Anyways, drug violations are usually easy to get expunged after 5 years (for misdemeanors) or 10 years (for felonies), so that gives them plenty of time to mature before they go out and try to get jobs.
Because of this, I was looking to move out before. I was planning on moving to Central Falls or Pawtucket, both of which are not "ideal" areas, but those are the only places where I'd be able to afford to move. When I told my father, he completely freaked out (here's his words: "CENTRAL FALLS?!?! CENTRAL FALLS?!?! You'll need to get a gun over there!" I thought he was going to have a stroke). But, I feel like I need a gun here. At least on my own, it's easier to know who the enemies are, here, I can't always tell who the innocent friends are and who the enemies are, even my own siblings save one are the enemies.
If they're manufacturing hash oil, it's only likely that they're into other stuff or soon will be. I already know my younger sister has dealt stuff in the past. I think one of my younger brothers is on something else too, because once (when I wasn't here and my father was at work), he went into a rampage and broke one of the doors--a little pot doesn't put you into a rampage. And, I don't feel comfortable having these kids just letting themselves into the house all the time--realistically I know I am tiny and physically weak compared to a young man, I know I may sound paranoid, but what if one decides to try to rape me one day? Or, I catch them inside stealing stuff, will they try to attack me then?
And, I have a career to worry about. My firm does criminal prosecutions, and here I am, living with people who I think are involved in other crimes in the area and who I know do drugs and are likely continuing to deal them, and who drink alcohol illegally. This is crazy.
I hate shopping for women's clothing. How do girls do this? I spent over an hour this afternoon browsing at a second hand store. 99% of the clothes struck me as being absolutely hideous and the 1% that didn't didn't fit. Bah! What a waste of time.
Of course, it probably doesn't help that I don't have the foggiest clue what I'm doing... :-\
Maddie is not a shopaholic
Quote from: Just Maddie! on September 07, 2013, 11:04:51 PM
I hate shopping for women's clothing. How do girls do this? I spent over an hour this afternoon browsing at a second hand store. 99% of the clothes struck me as being absolutely hideous and the 1% that didn't didn't fit. Bah! What a waste of time.
Of course, it probably doesn't help that I don't have the foggiest clue what I'm doing... :-\
Maddie is not a shopaholic
I know how you feel, Maddie. I get completely anxious and overwhelmed anytime I go into a store. I don't think I've bought myself new clothes for the past few years (I always get clothes from relatives for birthday/Christmas/as gifts). And now as I'm trying to dress more male, I get to relearn how to shop all over again! Joy -_-
As for what I'm thinking right now: I have a lot to learn. And even though it feels overwhelming, it helps to know I am not alone.
Also, I have serious penis-envy :P
I love shopping. The problem is, I don't have the money to do it and I think I look stupid in the dresses I love. I have really low self esteem to so I just don't bother trying to buy any, even if I am financially able to.Hense why I only own 2.
Has anyone noticed that a lot of the FtM members have anime and manga avatars? Why no pics, dudes? C'mon, I bet you look real studly!
Quote from: Septet on September 08, 2013, 04:29:45 AM
Has anyone noticed that a lot of the FtM members have anime and manga avatars? Why no pics, dudes? C'mon, I bet you look real studly!
While I like to think I am a hunk, I know I could never compete with the great Pammi Bai. :)
I wonder if I'm ever going to look male proportioned despite my hips or if my hips (and the consequent trying to hide that hip shape) will constantly make me look horrible.
A former friend who blew up at me for politely correcting her claimed to an acquaintance of mine that she plans on having "All knowledge is worth having" tattooed on her hip. I want to ask why she would tattoo something she doesn't believe on herself, but that would likely cause a s-word storm that I am not prepared for yet.
Finally got the gas tank off the lawn mower so I can see how bad the fuel leak was. Luckily, its just a bad line, but it'll have to wait til the end of the week for me to get a new one. And while I was hunting for the right tools, I realized how messy and disorganized my shop is compared to what it used to be. I'm a little ashamed of myself.
Quote from: marsh monster on September 08, 2013, 06:16:45 PM
Finally got the gas tank off the lawn mower so I can see how bad the fuel leak was. Luckily, its just a bad line, but it'll have to wait til the end of the week for me to get a new one. And while I was hunting for the right tools, I realized how messy and disorganized my shop is compared to what it used to be. I'm a little ashamed of myself.
Yeah but what about your nails honey? ;D :D
I used to have all the tools and equipment to totally rebuild an automotive engine, that was before having two boys for kids. Now I couldn't tune the simplest motor, the tools mysteriously disappeared. Just as well, I'm not into grease and grime anymore.
Quote from: Shantel on September 08, 2013, 06:56:44 PM
Yeah but what about your nails honey? ;D :D
I used to have all the tools and equipment to totally rebuild an automotive engine, that was before having two boys for kids. Now I couldn't tune the simplest motor, the tools mysteriously disappeared. Just as well, I'm not into grease and grime anymore.
I've still got most of the tools, the only ones I sold were the mig and tig welders, plasma cutter, the milling machine and a few large power tools. Although to be honest, I kind of miss having them around, it was nice to have the equipment to fix or fabricate most anything from steel, stainless or aluminum. I put a bit of money into them over the years. But I was unemployed and needed the cash influx several years ago.
Oh and I don't have acrylics currently. I do need to get them done soon, my thumb has been healed up for a while now.
Quote from: Septet on September 08, 2013, 04:29:45 AM
Has anyone noticed that a lot of the FtM members have anime and manga avatars? Why no pics, dudes? C'mon, I bet you look real studly!
Even though I'm still technically Gender Fluid, I don't really want my avatar to be me.. Mostly because I know I don't pass so it makes me feel depressed. Or ugly. ;.;
Quote from: marsh monster on September 08, 2013, 07:01:12 PM
I've still got most of the tools, the only ones I sold were the mig and tig welders, plasma cutter, the milling machine and a few large power tools. Although to be honest, I kind of miss having them around, it was nice to have the equipment to fix or fabricate most anything from steel, stainless or aluminum. I put a bit of money into them over the years. But I was unemployed and needed the cash influx several years ago.
Oh and I don't have acrylics currently. I do need to get them done soon, my thumb has been healed up for a while now.
I always contend that when we sell tools or guns we will never replace them because new ones are twice as costly as the original items, Oh well guess they aren't real girly-girl toys anyway, but.....
This homework is going to be the death of me. ;.;
Quote from: Darkie on September 08, 2013, 07:12:10 PM
This homework is going to be the death of me. ;.;
Same here. :-\
I get so nervous when typing out "man" or "mam" to someone because one typo can lead to me being banned. If I accidently say "mam" when referrfing to a guy....ban. If I accidently say "man" when I meant "mam"....I get reported for "transphobic and abusive" language and boom....a ban. The best thing would be to not say man or mam but I feel adding that would make my statement a bit more personal. If I'm not sure how someone identifies then I use gender neutral terms, with the still-high risk of someone being offended and reporting me.
Quote from: Malachite on September 08, 2013, 10:11:10 PM
I get so nervous when typing out "man" or "mam" to someone because one typo can lead to me being banned. If I accidently say "mam" when referrfing to a guy....ban. If I accidently say "man" when I meant "mam"....I get reported for "transphobic and abusive" language and boom....a ban. The best thing would be to not say man or mam but I feel adding that would make my statement a bit more personal. If I'm not sure how someone identifies then I use gender neutral terms, with the still-high risk of someone being offended and reporting me.
Yes, sometimes it is hard, but everyone who knows you here knows you'd never misgender someone on purpose. Mistakes happen, we move on. :)
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 08, 2013, 09:24:16 PM
Same here. :-\
I'm learning ASL so I have to watch someone signing and then write down what they are saying. My brain is about to explode.
And Malachite, I'm sorry you are having that problem. That's why I just use dear, works for everyone. Sept it makes me sound more female. >>
Quote from: Malachite on September 08, 2013, 10:11:10 PM
I get so nervous when typing out "man" or "mam" to someone because one typo can lead to me being banned. If I accidently say "mam" when referrfing to a guy....ban. If I accidently say "man" when I meant "mam"....I get reported for "transphobic and abusive" language and boom....a ban. The best thing would be to not say man or mam but I feel adding that would make my statement a bit more personal. If I'm not sure how someone identifies then I use gender neutral terms, with the still-high risk of someone being offended and reporting me.
Lengthen "mam" to "ma'am". That will lessen the chance of an errant key press. :)
On a side note: Sometimes, Malachite, I just want to hug you. You're sweet without realising it and that makes it all the more endearing. :)
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 08, 2013, 10:13:39 PM
Yes, sometimes it is hard, but everyone who knows you here knows you'd never misgender someone on purpose. Mistakes happen, we move on. :)
That's what I'm hoping for, that people will know that I just did it on accident and I would modify the post immediately if I didn't catch the mistake.
Quote from: Darkie on September 08, 2013, 10:18:16 PM
And Malachite, I'm sorry you are having that problem. That's why I just use dear, works for everyone. Sept it makes me sound more female. >>
More power to you for using dear. I'd feel a bit awkward calling everyone that lol. It reminds me of "be a dear and (insert favor) would you?"
Quote from: Sephirah on September 08, 2013, 10:19:44 PM
Lengthen "mam" to "ma'am". That will lessen the chance of an errant key press. :)
On a side note: Sometimes, Malachite, I just want to hug you. You're sweet without realising it and that makes it all the more endearing. :)
Wow I never thought about ma'am. That makes much more sense. I got to get used to typing it.
Thank you for your side note, Sephirah. :) That made my day more than you realize. I really needed that.
I've been playing Star Trek online recently. and it's not a mission here or there. it's all day and into the wee hours of the morning. I think I'm pretty depressed, more so than I imagined. Star Trek and model kits used to be my escape from my dysphoria but it could also be the same for my depression too. The other day I was looking at Star Trek model kits online actually and really wanted to build one. It's been 13 years since I built one.
Driving School today....meh, I really need to look over the DVD they gave me if I want to pass the course.
I'm worrying about school, because it's gonna feel like being put on hold after how fast everything's been going... I need to talk about this with the therapist.
Maybe I should just go back to being a guy. Yea, I was suicidal and miserable as hell, but at least I was employed :(
I hate feeling this way, and I know its just my mind playing B.S. headgames with itself. But still. it sucks. The worst part is, even if I went back to being a guy, i would still suck at it and everything would be just as crappy as it was before i transitioned. Stupid mind!
Quote from: Keaira Raine on September 09, 2013, 03:20:39 AM
Maybe I should just go back to being a guy. Yea, I was suicidal and miserable as hell, but at least I was employed :(
I hate feeling this way, and I know its just my mind playing B.S. headgames with itself. But still. it sucks. The worst part is, even if I went back to being a guy, i would still suck at it and everything would be just as crappy as it was before i transitioned. Stupid mind!
I'd love you so much no matter what ♥
Quote from: caleb. on September 09, 2013, 06:25:51 AM
I'd love you so much no matter what ♥
I'd still love you too. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ^_^
I cant see me going back to being 'him'. I've spent so much time and energy just getting this far and as Jannie once said, "I'll die before I ever go back to being male."
Still, I hate being unemployed, I hate that I am dependent on medication for my sanity and well being and it irks me that I can't afford an orchi or get SRS so I don't have to take spiro, which is so much more expensive than E.
While channel surfing, I saw that Love Actually was coming on on Sundance, so I'm watching it again. I still think its one of the best romantic comedies I've seen yet. Thing will make you cry a number of times throughout it, both happy and sad.
Quote from: marsh monster on September 09, 2013, 07:11:40 PM
While channel surfing, I saw that Love Actually was coming on on Sundance, so I'm watching it again. I still think its one of the best romantic comedies I've seen yet. Thing will make you cry a number of times throughout it, both happy and sad.
It was a good one, Hugh Grant is great!
I love taking the train, here I am on my way home sitting next to a nice young man getting a physics degree at Harvard.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 09, 2013, 07:34:39 PM
I love taking the train, here I am on my way home sitting next to a nice young man getting a physics degree at Harvard.
Well, did you chat him up a bit? ;D
Not yet, I am eavesdropping ;) hes catching up with an old friend. I usually talk with people from the train, I meet afew people who are now valuable Linked-In connections for me.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 09, 2013, 07:44:02 PM
Not yet, I am eavesdropping ;) hes catching up with an old friend. I usually talk with people from the train, I meet afew people who are now valuable Linked-In connections for me.
Being an outgoing person and open to conversations with new people has always worked for me. Can't beat networking when it comes to jobs and other opportunities either. Being quiet and mousey around others is a bummer and leads to nowhere fast!
Lol, I ended up taking to him and his friend Auntie Shan. She started incorrectly stating things about business deductions, and I set them straight.
Yep, I am the weirdo who gives lessons in tax law on the train.
My sammich from Jimmy Johns is so worth the gluten-intollerant tummy ache I'm gunna have.
I'm thinking how much I missed my delicious smelling/tasting clove cigars. Glad to find them again.
I'm wondering if I should test the repair men's* knowledge on crucial things by playing Skyrim and using Fus-Ro-Dah just to see their reactions.
Our kitchen radiator is acting stupid.
I got my student loans sorted (hopefully). The problem was that they didn't know what they were doing.
Quote from: Edge on September 10, 2013, 11:13:59 AM
I got my student loans sorted (hopefully). The problem was that they didn't know what they were doing.
How typical of the times, guess you can't get hired anymore unless you're totally incompetent. Color me jade!
Maybe my internship will make me happy again, I seem to feel no anxiety when working with kids.
I'd say that 9 out of 10 posts I make never get posted. I'll start writing a long post and then at some point just get tired and think "forget it" and close it lol.
Threw some meat outside yesterday. When I looked outside for it, it was gone. Whatever got it, got a nice little variety, steak, chicken (mostly burned), and some raw meat my mother threw in the trash. It makes me feel happy knowing that something got it. Why let it waste in the trash can?
Spent some time with my friend. We ate at a local all-you-can-eat buffet and got more T for me, not to talk about all around gossiping talking.
I really need to socialize more IRL.
Quote from: Tossu-sama on September 10, 2013, 01:58:41 PM
Spent some time with my friend. We ate at a local all-you-can-eat buffet and got more T for me, not to talk about all around gossiping talking.
I really need to socialize more IRL.
I know those feels. The only socializing I really get is at conventions or school.
My phone will be dead until I find the charger...but, when I find it, I am going to get something with 3G so I can use a GPS. Bloody sick of worrying about how to find places.
Well, it looks like I did ok with the ordering this past week, with the exception that I forgot to go down the candy isle, but then I already told my boss that, lol. She laughed too.
And I've got the inventory receiving scanning bit down ok, just have to get the manager more comfortable with it, she's not real technical minded.
Drammen Drammen Drammen Hallen Hallen Hallen
Less than 1 percent of this forum will get it.
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 10, 2013, 03:31:20 PM
Drammen Drammen Drammen Hallen Hallen Hallen
Less than 1 percent of this forum will get it.
That's because most of us wash our hands regularly.
Quote from: caleb. on September 10, 2013, 01:23:59 PM
I'd say that 9 out of 10 posts I make never get posted. I'll start writing a long post and then at some point just get tired and think "forget it" and close it lol.
Totally know how you feel with that. I've done that so many times. Although in my case it's more that I just don't think it's worth posting.
Quote from: Joules on September 10, 2013, 03:35:45 PM
I got it once, it was terrible. Thought I was gonna die for a whole week.
FYI i was referring to the acoustics of a concert hall in Norway, Norway, Norway....
and what Frank Zappa said about it, it, it
Quote from: Shantel on September 10, 2013, 11:28:31 AM
How typical of the times, guess you can't get hired anymore unless you're totally incompetent. Color me jade!
The good news is that they clarified what went wrong and said there would be words with whoever screwed up.
Quote from: Edge on September 10, 2013, 04:44:25 PM
The good news is that they clarified what went wrong and said there would be words with whoever screwed up.
Good, did you get your book in time?
Quote from: Malachite on September 10, 2013, 01:33:28 PM
Threw some meat outside yesterday. When I looked outside for it, it was gone. Whatever got it, got a nice little variety, steak, chicken (mostly burned), and some raw meat my mother threw in the trash. It makes me feel happy knowing that something got it. Why let it waste in the trash can?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faustralianmuseum.net.au%2FUploads%2FImages%2F1822%2Ftk_05_big.jpg&hash=81fd46e34d119891566e5ffff636b68155be343f)
Thank you, Malachite.
Quote from: Jamie D on September 10, 2013, 06:15:38 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faustralianmuseum.net.au%2FUploads%2FImages%2F1822%2Ftk_05_big.jpg&hash=81fd46e34d119891566e5ffff636b68155be343f)
Thank you, Malachite.
Heheheh! :icon_hahano: :icon_peace:
Quote from: Shantel on September 10, 2013, 06:10:14 PM
Good, did you get your book in time?
Yeah turns out it's actually really cheap. I still haven't gotten my student loan though.
According to the dog, it is apparently time to go to bed.
I can't believe it, someone is talking on their cell phone in the quiet car. . . >:(
Quote from: Joules on September 10, 2013, 07:19:19 PM
Huh?
on the train, there's a disignated "quiet car" where you're not supposed to use your phones or talk.
Quote from: marsh monster on September 10, 2013, 07:11:07 PM
According to the dog, it is apparently time to go to bed.
I know the feeling! Like you're leading a dog's life?
My cat is snuggled behind my butt and keeps kneeding it with his claws. Yoda, if you are going to get this personal with me I think you ought to buy me dinner first or something. ;D
Quote from: Darkie on September 10, 2013, 10:12:06 PM
My cat is snuggled behind my butt and keeps kneeding it with his claws. Yoda, if you are going to get this personal with me I think you ought to buy me dinner first or something. ;D
Now he's nuzzling my butt. What the heck you doing back there?
Quote from: Darkie on September 10, 2013, 10:12:06 PM
My cat is snuggled behind my butt and keeps kneeding it with his claws. Yoda, if you are going to get this personal with me I think you ought to buy me dinner first or something. ;D
LMAO!! :D ;D :laugh:
I wish i could tell some of my teachers what i really think of them without any repercussions. I have nothing against teachers, i am on good terms with several of them, i have something against discriminating ignorant 4ssholes who just don't realize that there are things i mentally just can't do thanks to my Aspergers.
Oh and i also love it when things have to be a certain way or else they're wrong. The only thing that definitely makes a story a short story is its length and not the plot, not the characters, not the writing style.
Oh and i love the german railroad systems. I love them so much i want to puke all over their CEO. 2 hours late at home.
My younger brother was a stutterer and agreed to attend high school classes only if he was not called on to read or recite anything in front of the students. One male teacher disregarded the agreement and made him stand and read in class whereupon he beat the teacher senseless, broke a window and stuffed him through it. Needless to say he never finished school and spent some time in a juvenile institution for assault, though he felt somewhat vindicated. Many years have passed since then and we talked about it and he said that stuttering to him was about as awful as if having his genitalia growing out of his face, it took him years and a few hundred gallons of alcohol and an alcohol treatment program to finally come to terms with it.
They pull the same stuff with me as they do with the near-deaf girl in my class. Her parents decided to sue. We are considering following suit.
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 11, 2013, 01:52:33 PM
They pull the same stuff with me as they do with the near-deaf girl in my class. Her parents decided to sue. We are considering following suit.
Yes, you don't have to take it because it is a veiled attack against your personhood and injurious to your self esteem as well as the esteem by others who are witnesses to it.
That Britney Spears new single is gunna be amazeballs!
Quote from: Shantel on September 11, 2013, 02:23:28 PM
Yes, you don't have to take it because it is a veiled attack against your personhood and injurious to your self esteem as well as the esteem by others who are witnesses to it.
Now they put me into a "special" extra german language and spelling class. What i thought was: "Hello? Me, who has a knack for languages and never made any big spelling mistakes IN HIS LIFE gets put into that kind of class?"
This reeks of that german teacher who doesn't seem to like me and might get sued.
In 9 days, it will be the one year anniversery of when my lunatic ex and her girlfriend got together.
If I was a drinking man.....
Quote from: Liam Erik on September 11, 2013, 02:42:59 PM
Input, input?
The "B" & "C" word factor is overwhelming, kick her to the curb and move on with your life!
Quote from: Liam Erik on September 11, 2013, 02:42:59 PM
I need to borrow somebody's empathy meter; mine's rusted out.
This person who has been a family friend my whole life, and whom I see on a regular basis, has known I am trans for two years and has never used the right pronouns. She's been very helpful and vocal about wanting to be there for me, etc., in other respects. She's never given any indication that she didn't approve. I know pronouns can be a major adjustment for some people (it never surprised me that she's taking forever and a day with it), so she's welcome to as much time she needs. I've given her the benefit of the doubt for two years. However, now, recently, she said with great vehemence she will NEVER use male pronouns on me, EVER, for any reason. Her excuse is that she can't reconcile her memories of me as a child with my having been a male child.
My brain doesn't work like that. I understand why her memories matter, and I understand what she is saying and why that would be problematic, but I don't understand why her thinking progresses from there to 'I'm just going to use female pronouns forever and ever.' Why would that be okay? What about me? Why does she think I transitioned socially, legally, and medically, for the fun and games of it all? What earthly difference does it make how supportive you say you are when you disagree with, ignore, or are offended by the most fundamental aspect of the issue? I cannot articulate how disrespectful I think it is to deliberately refuse someone their pronouns.
I am aware that I am socially inept and self-absorbed and that when I feel strongly about things, as about this, that I can have the empathy and forgiving nature of a large rock. This is why I want time and space for consideration, and input, please, before doing anything to make sure I can see it all. I know she has feelings and reasons that at least make sense to her, but I think she needs to get over it and treat me like a person.
Input, input?
I personally think you can have all the empathy you want when a person tells you they won't even try and wil never, ever try for you that is a limit. I can understand finding it very hard, I can understand needing a lot of time. But this person isn't willing to even give it a go for you and that's just not okay. I don't think the empathy lacking one is you in this case. If my dad can attempt to make a change... I mean he's known me all my life as a girl...
Watching Terms and Conditions May Apply on Pivot. Its interesting and makes me glad I am wary of what I put online and that I always take privacy stuff off the default when I set my stuff on Google and Facebook.
What they can legally do with the info is kind of scary.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 10, 2013, 08:27:13 PM
on the train, there's a disignated "quiet car" where you're not supposed to use your phones or talk.
What you do is make eye contact and stare at them until they stop.
Quote from: Liam Erik on September 11, 2013, 02:42:59 PM
I need to borrow somebody's empathy meter; mine's rusted out.
This person who has been a family friend my whole life, and whom I see on a regular basis, has known I am trans for two years and has never used the right pronouns. She's been very helpful and vocal about wanting to be there for me, etc., in other respects. She's never given any indication that she didn't approve. I know pronouns can be a major adjustment for some people (it never surprised me that she's taking forever and a day with it), so she's welcome to as much time she needs. I've given her the benefit of the doubt for two years. However, now, recently, she said with great vehemence she will NEVER use male pronouns on me, EVER, for any reason. Her excuse is that she can't reconcile her memories of me as a child with my having been a male child.
My brain doesn't work like that. I understand why her memories matter, and I understand what she is saying and why that would be problematic, but I don't understand why her thinking progresses from there to 'I'm just going to use female pronouns forever and ever.' Why would that be okay? What about me? Why does she think I transitioned socially, legally, and medically, for the fun and games of it all? What earthly difference does it make how supportive you say you are when you disagree with, ignore, or are offended by the most fundamental aspect of the issue? I cannot articulate how disrespectful I think it is to deliberately refuse someone their pronouns.
I am aware that I am socially inept and self-absorbed and that when I feel strongly about things, as about this, that I can have the empathy and forgiving nature of a large rock. This is why I want time and space for consideration, and input, please, before doing anything to make sure I can see it all. I know she has feelings and reasons that at least make sense to her, but I think she needs to get over it and treat me like a person.
Input, input?
Be firm. You are who you are, not who she thought you were. Her reason really is disrespect.
Quote from: Liam Erik on September 11, 2013, 02:42:59 PM
I need to borrow somebody's empathy meter; mine's rusted out.
This person who has been a family friend my whole life, and whom I see on a regular basis, has known I am trans for two years and has never used the right pronouns. She's been very helpful and vocal about wanting to be there for me, etc., in other respects. She's never given any indication that she didn't approve. I know pronouns can be a major adjustment for some people (it never surprised me that she's taking forever and a day with it), so she's welcome to as much time she needs. I've given her the benefit of the doubt for two years. However, now, recently, she said with great vehemence she will NEVER use male pronouns on me, EVER, for any reason. Her excuse is that she can't reconcile her memories of me as a child with my having been a male child.
To me, that's like going up to someone and going "I know that we had history and that we loved eachother. You are getting married and I still have unsettled feelings so I refuse to agnoligize your marriage. To me, it didn't happen." It just doesn't make sense. I mean, I can understand the having trouble with memories thing, I get that. But to tell someone that you have that much history with having known them your whole life that basically you refuse to treat them the way they want and are to be treated is really rude. She doesn't have to replace her memories of you. Just because your friend hasn't had black hair all her life doesn't mean your memories mean any less.
Maybe to her, it seems like since now you are male, then your past doesn't matter? Like you are trying to erase all of what came before of yourself and in doing so, erase her too? As if you being male means to her that girl she knew a long time ago didn't exist, and therefore all her memories are meaningless? Does that make sense? I fail at explaining things..
Quote from: Malachite on September 11, 2013, 03:56:07 PM
In 9 days, it will be the one year anniversery of when my lunatic ex and her girlfriend got together.
If I was a drinking man.....
Don't worry about them man, let them enjoy their lunaticness together lol.
Quote from: caleb. on September 11, 2013, 10:13:15 PM
Don't worry about them man, let them enjoy their lunaticness together lol.
Easier said than done though. At times I kind of miss her, or at least the illusion of what we had.
Now this is weird. This one moment i look all fat and bloated to me, the next moment i look like a perfectly normal boy and actually not that ugly. Some moments i think i'm the biggest piece of trash there is, the next moment i admit i definitely have quite a few strengths.
Bad mood:
Fat Elvis
Good mood:
i look a little bit like a cross between my maternal uncle, my brother, a hint of my mother, a hint of her father, and weirdly enough, Johnny Galecki
I visibly startled two women today. The first one was just a little surprised as I said "excuse me", which never happened when I had a girl's voice. And the second, she actually jumped and gasped and I felt really bad. :( I just wanted to look at the map and made a comment about not being able to find the dining place. It's weird, cause I am almost certain it has to do with my voice sounding male now, as I can't remember anyone seeming startled or weirded out when I approached them as female.
I'm happy that I have a passable voice but sad that these women are worried, even subconsciously, when a man approaches them randomly.
I'll be glad when this new girl gets more confident in her job and doesn't have to call me at home so much. And I know the manager doesn't mind me being the one to get called, lol. Heck, even she calls me at home about the computer or register at times.
and I hope the new girl works out for a while too, I kind of want to go back to my four days a week first shift again. Its easier on my aged body...
My hair is falling out. Like...all over.
So I'm thinking: ****'s getting real.
I'm too young to be bald, lol, but if that's the price I gotta pay...bring it on. 8)
Yesterday my boss told everyone that we would have to come in on Saturday. Today he said that we wouldn't have to come in. I have no idea what is going on...
Quote from: Septet on September 12, 2013, 06:42:18 PM
Yesterday my boss told everyone that we would have to come in on Saturday. Today he said that we wouldn't have to come in. I have no idea what is going on...
I hate that! Or when they randomly decide to change your schedule and not tell you...
Quote from: fishy faced marsh monster from planet X on September 12, 2013, 05:39:47 PM
I'll be glad when this new girl gets more confident in her job and doesn't have to call me at home so much. And I know the manager doesn't mind me being the one to get called, lol. Heck, even she calls me at home about the computer or register at times.
and I hope the new girl works out for a while too, I kind of want to go back to my four days a week first shift again. Its easier on my aged body...
Being on the management end of things has it's costs. Did you get a raise to compensate for all the extra responsibility you've had to take on?
Quote from: Shantel on September 12, 2013, 06:57:23 PM
Being on the management end of things has it's costs. Did you get a raise to compensate for all the extra responsibility you've had to take on?
I got a little bit of one. I've been management before in a few different jobs, so I'm used to it a bit. Just would like things to quiet down a tad for a bit so I can relax and not wonder what clusterf*** I'm going to find when I go in the mornings to do all the paperwork and get the deposits ready. I still can't get over how basic math seems to be out of the reach of so many people.
Quote from: fishy faced marsh monster from planet X on September 12, 2013, 07:06:39 PM
I got a little bit of one. I've been management before in a few different jobs, so I'm used to it a bit. Just would like things to quiet down a tad for a bit so I can relax and not wonder what clusterf*** I'm going to find when I go in the mornings to do all the paperwork and get the deposits ready. I still can't get over how basic math seems to be out of the reach of so many people.
Isn't it frustrating? They don't teach them squat in school anymore! If there's a power outage at the store they can't tally up a list, figure the appropriate tax or make change, just dumber than a rock!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4916256906348709%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=cfe544e4e5c2ffecc1fa8cc80ead35926a338925)
Calculation
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4869227042048464%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=557d877e65503f04fc572fe5b825ac9008e7d792)
Devices
On your desk you will find one (1) sheet of lined paper, one (1) No.2 pencil, and one (1) standard issue abacus.
Threw out some more food today for the critters (I had to, in order to make more space in the trash can since I missed trash day today). Today they are getting a couple of chicken patties, a couple of good and cooked frankfurters (why my mom threw them out I have no clue), along with some not-so-good looking mushrooms. I'm sure something will come snag it by midnight. I hope so, lest I feel like an idiot.
Quote from: Malachite on September 13, 2013, 08:19:19 AM
Threw out some more food today for the critters (I had to, in order to make more space in the trash can since I missed trash day today). Today they are getting a couple of chicken patties, a couple of good and cooked frankfurters (why my mom threw them out I have no clue), along with some not-so-good looking mushrooms. I'm sure something will come snag it by midnight. I hope so, lest I feel like an idiot.
Rats, you can count on it! There are forty rats for every person living in a home on the average, this comes from an exterminator. So unless you live close to some woods where raccoons abide and there's not packs of dogs in the neighborhood, you can bet you are feeding possibly a few crows and lots of rats. I wouldn't give rats any encouragement to move in after all they multiply like, well you know!
Quote from: Shantel on September 13, 2013, 09:42:02 AM
Rats, you can count on it! There are forty rats for every person living in a home on the average, this comes from an exterminator. So unless you live close to some woods where raccoons abide and there's not packs of dogs in the neighborhood, you can bet you are feeding possibly a few crows and lots of rats. I wouldn't give rats any encouragement to move in after all they multiply like, well you know!
Do you go around the house zapping them while yelling "Exterminate!"?
Quote from: ZootAllures! on September 13, 2013, 09:43:42 AM
Do you go around the house zapping them while yelling "Exterminate!"?
I'm referring to a comment from an employee of a pest extermination company!
A couple days back I wanted to buy some alcohol, but since I don't have a car, I was apprehensive about carrying it on the train lest they think I'm a drunk and call the peace officers on me. So I googled "how to hide alcohol." My brother found it on his ipad and he thinks I have a problem now. o.o
Quote from: caleb. on September 13, 2013, 11:47:33 AM
A couple days back I wanted to buy some alcohol, but since I don't have a car, I was apprehensive about carrying it on the train lest they think I'm a drunk and call the peace officers on me. So I googled "how to hide alcohol." My brother found it on his ipad and he thinks I have a problem now. o.o
I'm beginning to think little brother is a menace!
Oh no, this is the nice brother lol. I have two. :) He was just legitimately concerned. Other brother has given me the complete silent treatment for two days now. Even ignored me at the bus stop.
Quote from: caleb. on September 13, 2013, 11:50:56 AM
Oh no, this is the nice brother lol. I have two. :) He was just legitimately concerned. Oh got it!
Other brother has given me the complete silent treatment for two days now. Even ignored me at the bus stop. Count your blessings! ;D
Quote from: Shantel on September 13, 2013, 09:42:02 AM
Rats, you can count on it! There are forty rats for every person living in a home on the average, this comes from an exterminator. So unless you live close to some woods where raccoons abide and there's not packs of dogs in the neighborhood, you can bet you are feeding possibly a few crows and lots of rats. I wouldn't give rats any encouragement to move in after all they multiply like, well you know!
For some reason, I have only seen to mice near my house in my whole life (and that's because my cat had caught them). I like to dump the food nearby because I love to see what's feasting on it. I've seen opossums, bugs, flies, and cats eat the stuff I leave out, but I haven't seen a rat do so but I'm certainly looking foward to it.....somewhat.
So I found out there's someone here registered as "Malachite000". That's pretty cool. Too bad they never posted.
Is it five o'clock yet? I need to find something to make it look like I am busy. . .
Getting my hair cut short at a hair cutting college. Wish me luck. Hopefully it turns out good.
Quote from: Darkie on September 13, 2013, 02:29:37 PM
Getting my hair cut short at a hair cutting college. Wish me luck. Hopefully it turns out good.
Just don't let then touch your eyebrows!
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 13, 2013, 03:26:26 PM
Just don't let then touch your eyebrows!
Haha, I used to be ashamed of my British male eyebrows but now I wear them with pride. And yea, if you want to hear a horrible eyebrow experience I've got a good one.
Quote from: Darkie on September 13, 2013, 04:24:46 PM
Haha, I used to be ashamed of my British male eyebrows but now I wear them with pride. And yea, if you want to hear a horrible eyebrow experience I've got a good one.
*Sits down for story time* Do tell?
Quote from: Night Haven on September 13, 2013, 05:23:27 PM
*Sits down for story time* Do tell?
Basically, I went to get my eyebrows done. Now, I have male-like eyebrows, thick and very ingrown in my skin. The lady that usually did mine was busy with someone so she had another lady do it. The lady didn't realize that you have to do small chunks of wax with me, you have to do small little areas at a time. She lathers the wax on, goes to rip it off with the strip and it doesn't come off. She tries again, no dice. Tries to rub it off with rubbing alcohol. No dice. She ends up having to rip out all the wax with tweezers. By the time she was done my eye was a horrible red painful mess. The usual lady made her stop and told me she would finish me up. I had to take a break and walk around after taking some painkillers to calm down enough to get my other eye done. When my usual lady quit and went to work at a bank, I never again had my eyebrows done.
Quote from: Darkie on September 13, 2013, 05:32:14 PM
Basically, I went to get my eyebrows done. Now, I have male-like eyebrows, thick and very ingrown in my skin. The lady that usually did mine was busy with someone so she had another lady do it. The lady didn't realize that you have to do small chunks of wax with me, you have to do small little areas at a time. She lathers the wax on, goes to rip it off with the strip and it doesn't come off. She tries again, no dice. Tries to rub it off with rubbing alcohol. No dice. She ends up having to rip out all the wax with tweezers. By the time she was done my eye was a horrible red painful mess. The usual lady made her stop and told me she would finish me up. I had to take a break and walk around after taking some painkillers to calm down enough to get my other eye done. When my usual lady quit and went to work at a bank, I never again had my eyebrows done.
What a horror story!
Wow Darkie, that sounds horribly painful!
My eyebrow story isn't nearly as bad, I went to one of those haircutting school to get my hair done and my brows too. The girl though heated up the wax too much and burned my skin. Then she didn't even finish up by plucking to keep it neat. The finish product was crooked and flaming red and swollen for awhile. :D Never again!
You know, before I transitioned, I really never fit into any feminine stereotype. Except maybe the way I spoke. But among women, in terms of interests, I stuck out like a sore thumb and no one would ever let me forget it either. I mean, I'd have been trans either way, but it made it a lot harder to live as a teenage girl when all I wanted was to fit in. And I truly believed I never really liked girly things, it just never appealed to me.
Now that I'm far enough into transition...all of a sudden these feminine interests are popping up. -_- WTF? All I can think now is, if I went back to being a teenager and had to fit in as a girl, I probably wouldn't send off the "lol dyke" vibes anymore. I could have lived under the radar until I could transition. Now I send off "lol ->-bleeped-<-" vibes and really have no desire to blend in so there you have it.
Going through feminist blogs and somehow ended up in one that was decidedly anti-trans. The post was about bathroom rights. The phrase (Can't seem to use the
Spoiler
tag for trigger, I know it hit me hard... so I've changed the text to white.) "lying male rape demon" was used.
...
...
...
...
...
...
Excuse me while I roll into a ball and cry for about... forever.
Those anti-trans blogs honestly aren't worth your tears...they're just ignorant and they certainly do not represent the majority opinion on much of anything. *hug*
I wish I had the money to see my therapist just to talk about my issues.
Yesterday was Friday the 13th and so I started thinking about who is Jason's alter ego, the first person who came to mind was...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd2.yimg.com%2Fsr%2Fimg%2F4%2F97376aac-9326-3b4a-8a42-68e927a7390b&hash=1a1f8e329339d336393c748e831103b61df0b7dd)
Vanna White
America's favorite sexy game show good girl? Possibly, but you never know
Possibly it's my massive crush on her that I've kept hidden for several years? Is it that I wish to be her? Is it because she is the last person anyone would suspect?
Who knows? Who cares? Jason can rot in hell, I'll be watching 'Wheel of Fortune' forever till I am found dead in a rather strange circumstance involving an elevator and...
Quote from: V M on September 14, 2013, 01:28:21 AM
Yesterday was Friday the 13th and so I started thinking about who is Jason's alter ego, the first person who came to mind was...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd2.yimg.com%2Fsr%2Fimg%2F4%2F97376aac-9326-3b4a-8a42-68e927a7390b&hash=1a1f8e329339d336393c748e831103b61df0b7dd)
Vanna White
America's favorite sexy game show good girl? Possibly, but you never know
Possibly it's my massive crush on her that I've kept hidden for several years? Is it that I wish to be her? Is it because she is the last person anyone would suspect?
Who knows? Who cares? Jason can rot in hell, I'll be watching 'Wheel of Fortune' forever till I am found dead in a rather strange circumstance involving an elevator and...
I so have to watch those movies again. The one set in space was so funny it should have been promoted as a comedy. Totally forgot what date it was though. I've been somewhat out of it lately.
I'm intrigued about the elevator though. Do tell. :)
an elevator and...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4907220322813546%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=e480b43f18ab49d31799a145d61fe5b260958c14)
Chinese take out
and...
Quote from: V M on September 14, 2013, 02:07:00 AM
an elevator and... (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4907220322813546%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=e480b43f18ab49d31799a145d61fe5b260958c14)
Chinese take out
and...
Gawd, I could so eat that right now. >_<
It would be worth seeing the Pearly Gates for a good chow mein and egg fried rice, lol. Ooh, and spring rolls!
Damn it, now I want a heaping plate of General Tso and fried rice!
I've randomly started finding Miley Cyrus attractive and I haven't accepted this part of myself yet.
I love my guitar but i wish i also had an acoustic guitar.
I finally got around to looking up the definition of ->-bleeped-<-. I know enough Greek to figure out what the word means, but I wanted to know the theory behind it. I can say that having seen the "science" behind this term, I'm not surprised that most women get angry about it. I've never seen a more hetero/cis-normative idea try to be applied to trans* folk. These so-called "theories" hold about as much water as a funnel.
Sometimes when I'm reading an article or reading the comments on something, I just get fed up with people's bigotry. Yesterday I was reading the comments on a piece about the Chrysalis fashion line (They make underwear and bras specifically for trans women) and saw someone say "Of course they had to get real women to model this stuff, because ->-bleeped-<-s are too ugly". It specifically said in the article that all the models were trans women. I just threw up my hands and said "That's it, I'm done! I can't deal with this right now!" and turned off my browser.
I'm sorry, I'm just a really depressing person to be around sometimes. I think I'll go eat some ice cream. Here's a picture of a kitten to make you feel better.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Frapgenius%2Ffilepicker%252FvCleswcKTpuRXKptjOPo_kitten.jpg&hash=1e0c0ec4e96556eed66b587b5a09d4e324efc6b2)
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Ahoy! I see you, R. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Have you ever seen a chinese pirate in a hollywood movie?
Allllllllll!
Stereotypes HO!
I think I'm coming down with a cold.
Why the hell I have bunch of drawing ideas that always seem to disappear when I finally pick up a pencil and paper to actually draw them?
UGH.
Other than that...
Waiting for Shingeki no Kyojin's new episode. :I I bet there'll be FEELS.
I'm tired of my SO watching Battlestar Galactica. He's watching it on his computer so I can't see it, only hear it.
I have a serious problem with picking at stuff. I had a pimple on my check a week or so ago, and I picked it off, so it scabbed over, and I picked that scab off, and on and on. I am still picking at it, and now I have a big red spot on my cheek, it'll probably scar over once I eventually stop picking at the scabs and just let it heel. I just also don't get why I am so pimpley. I never had a problem back in middle or high school, but ever since I moved to FL I've been like pizza face (but only on my chin and cheek area near my lips) except for every once in awhile. I am going to have to wear make-up forever.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 14, 2013, 10:14:35 PM
I have a serious problem with picking at stuff. I had a pimple on my check a week or so ago, and I picked it off, so it scabbed over, and I picked that scab off, and on and on. I am still picking at it, and now I have a big red spot on my cheek, it'll probably scar over once I eventually stop picking at the scabs and just let it heel. I just also don't get why I am so pimpley. I never had a problem back in middle or high school, but ever since I moved to FL I've been like pizza face (but only on my chin and cheek area near my lips) except for every once in awhile. I am going to have to wear make-up forever.
It's Florida. I used to work at Disney World and my face was CONSTANTLY broken out.
Quote from: Darkie on September 14, 2013, 10:16:07 PM
It's Florida. I used to work at Disney World and my face was CONSTANTLY broken out.
Yeah, but I left FL about 2 years ago now. I was hoping it would go away. :( I kind of think I got some sort of a skin infection down there from all the wee beasties that float around in the air down there and brought it with me back to less humid climes.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 14, 2013, 10:17:52 PM
Yeah, but I left FL about 2 years ago now. I was hoping it would go away. :( I kind of think I got some sort of a skin infection down there from all the wee beasties that float around in the air down there and brought it with me back to less humid climes.
Is your tap water highly flourinated? Ours has lots of floride in it and it makes me break out. When I go to conventions my face clears up fast because of the filters the hotels have.
Quote from: Darkie on September 14, 2013, 10:21:06 PM
Is your tap water highly flourinated? Ours has lots of floride in it and it makes me break out. When I go to conventions my face clears up fast because of the filters the hotels have.
I have no idea. It's well water we pump out of the ground; I think it's "hard water", I 'd guess there's not much if any fluoride in it since we don't put any in.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 14, 2013, 10:23:32 PM
I have no idea. It's well water we pump out of the ground; I think it's "hard water", I 'd guess there's not much if any fluoride in it since we don't put any in.
Oh! Then it's cause it's too hard! See about getting a water softener! It will do wonders!
I need to learn more songs on the piano. I know my recital song from when I was 7ish, anime theme songs, a song from Pokemon and a song from Sailor moon. And I'm working on White Wishes from Tales of Graces.
Thanks for the suggestion Darkie, it'll probably help our washing machine too.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 14, 2013, 11:23:04 PM
Only posers use washing machines.
Washboards!! FTW!!
Damn straight!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po0CTtJLl24 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po0CTtJLl24)
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 14, 2013, 10:14:35 PM
I have a serious problem with picking at stuff. I had a pimple on my check a week or so ago, and I picked it off, so it scabbed over, and I picked that scab off, and on and on. I am still picking at it, and now I have a big red spot on my cheek, it'll probably scar over once I eventually stop picking at the scabs and just let it heel. I just also don't get why I am so pimpley. I never had a problem back in middle or high school, but ever since I moved to FL I've been like pizza face (but only on my chin and cheek area near my lips) except for every once in awhile. I am going to have to wear make-up forever.
The ladies love a man with scars. Of course, I like ladies with scars so I might not be the best person to get advice from...
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 14, 2013, 10:17:52 PM
Yeah, but I left FL about 2 years ago now. I was hoping it would go away. :( I kind of think I got some sort of a skin infection down there from all the wee beasties that float around in the air down there and brought it with me back to less humid climes.
Time to visit the dermatologist before your face becomes a permanent mess hon!
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 14, 2013, 11:21:36 PM
Thanks for the suggestion Darkie, it'll probably help our washing machine too.
As well as the texture of your hair!
Softer water lets you use less soap in your wash too. Although many people complain about how it can seem like they can never get all the soap washed off themselves in the shower due to the slickness you can get from showering in soft water.
My water is an overflow well that is high in minerals and hydrogen sulfate, so I have a softener and another filter system that takes out the smell. Not cheap, but worth it.
I'm fixing 8 hotdogs on the George forman grill, I fully intend to ingest every last one of them in one sitting.
I kick myself all the time for waiting as long as I did to transition. :-\ and when I kick myself it hurts worse than others because I know just where it hurts.
Going in the right direction now. I hope I can do something to put right some of the mess I have made for myself by going in the wrong direction. I suppose I am doing quite ok at it.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 15, 2013, 12:01:35 PM
Yuck. I hate hot dogs.
That's great, I wasn't offering to share them anyway. :P
Although the dog did get one of them afterall, damn those little puppy dog eyes...
I am a gamer.
I'm wondering what people actually think of me. I'm wondering if I should ask, but afraid I wouldn't like or trust the response.
I'm also wondering about other stuff. When is student loans going to come through? Is everything going to be fine or did they screw up again? I don't know which rooms my tutorials are. Although, I was given a prescription for T, I was given no other information even though I asked. I uncertain about what I need to get or how to administer it.
I've also been reading comics, so I've got comic-related thoughts going around in my head. For example, I like the Taskmaster. He amuses me. I don't know what to think of the Hood. I'm thinking about Loki. I'm thinking about how I wish I could have all the comics and that I could read them all uninterrupted, not get bored, and retain all the details.
I've been thinking of my past, what still haunts me, and what I want to change. I am also thinking "Screw you guys. I'm going to be a super villain."
Oh I also think I am getting over my shyness. Maybe not, but it seems like it and that's really all that matters since shyness depends on my perception anyway.
Edge, I think you are a really nice and interesting person who I would like to get to know more. ^.^
I ended up drawing my favorite character (http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130602111555/shingekinokyojin/images/5/5d/Levi_in_anime.png) from Shingeki no Kyojin into a proper artwork instead of some crappy doodle. First time in years I'll be doing some proper fanart.
I'm just predicting that some will criticize this because it'll be somewhat different from the mainstream fanart I've been seeing of him...
Quote from: j on September 15, 2013, 11:54:45 AM
I'm fixing 8 hotdogs on the George forman grill, I fully intend to ingest every last one of them in one sitting.
Doesn't Jake get bites? Save two for me, with mustard and relish please!
Quote from: Edge on September 15, 2013, 01:32:58 PM
I'm wondering what people actually think of me. I'm wondering if I should ask, but afraid I wouldn't like or trust the response.
I'm also wondering about other stuff. When is student loans going to come through? Is everything going to be fine or did they screw up again? I don't know which rooms my tutorials are. Although, I was given a prescription for T, I was given no other information even though I asked. I uncertain about what I need to get or how to administer it.
I've also been reading comics, so I've got comic-related thoughts going around in my head. For example, I like the Taskmaster. He amuses me. I don't know what to think of the Hood. I'm thinking about Loki. I'm thinking about how I wish I could have all the comics and that I could read them all uninterrupted, not get bored, and retain all the details.
I've been thinking of my past, what still haunts me, and what I want to change. I am also thinking "Screw you guys. I'm going to be a super villain."
Oh I also think I am getting over my shyness. Maybe not, but it seems like it and that's really all that matters since shyness depends on my perception anyway.
Edge is super cool and I hope to get to know him better!
Quote from: Shantel on September 15, 2013, 07:02:05 PM
Doesn't Jake get bites? Save two for me, with mustard and relish please!
I only ended up eating seven of them and let jake have one cut up for him.
The only reason I don't add buddies to the buddy list is because I think the names are supposed to be darker or something and I don't like change.
Quote from: Malachite on September 15, 2013, 08:34:43 PM
The only reason I don't add buddies to the buddy list is because I think the names are supposed to be darker or something and I don't like change.
The names at the bottom of the index page go to bold if someone is on your list. You can remove the name at any time, give it a shot. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Malachite on September 15, 2013, 08:34:43 PM
The only reason I don't add buddies to the buddy list is because I think the names are supposed to be darker or something and I don't like change.
That's the only reason I do add buddies to the buddy list. I'm a stalker.
Quote from: Alice Danielle on September 15, 2013, 08:40:17 PM
That's the only reason I do add buddies to the buddy list. I'm a stalker.
Just had to go see who was worthy enough to be stalked by you. :D
I don't add buddies to my buddy list unless they add me. I figure, if they want to talk to me and I want to talk to them, we'll talk regardless of whether they are on a list or not.
Quote from: Malachite on September 15, 2013, 08:41:43 PM
Just had to go see who was worthy enough to be stalked by you. :D
Same here! I'm safe.
Quote from: Edge on September 15, 2013, 08:43:01 PM
I don't add buddies to my buddy list unless they add me. I figure, if they want to talk to me and I want to talk to them, we'll talk regardless of whether they are on a list or not.
This is how I feel exactly, though, I do get a tingly feeling when I'm on someone's buddy's list. It makes me thing "awwww what did I do to deserve being on there list? It's not like I'm exciting or anything."
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 15, 2013, 08:43:23 PM
Same here! I'm safe.
Me too!
Why is it when I find a thread Brandon started there is sure to be an angry mob following close behind?
I had a great post written before yet another one of his threads was locked. *sigh*
Mmmm, wrap is yummy. And my cat is being a snugglebutt.
Quote from: Malachite on September 15, 2013, 08:52:10 PM
This is how I feel exactly, though, I do get a tingly feeling when I'm on someone's buddy's list. It makes me thing "awwww what did I do to deserve being on there list? It's not like I'm exciting or anything."
Me too!
Now I'm tempted to add you to my buddy list.
I'm tired of listening to Battlestar Galactica cause I don't know what's going on as my SO is watching it on his computer. All I keep hearing is screaming. >> On a side note, I need to start playing my piano a lot more.
One of my friends has recently met and became friends with a former friend of mine. A former friend who I hate. I also am feeling overtly angry this evening.
Quote from: Edge on September 15, 2013, 09:11:07 PM
Now I'm tempted to add you to my buddy list.
Resist!
Quote from: Keaira Raine on September 15, 2013, 09:08:42 PM
Why is it when I find a thread Brandon started there is sure to be an angry mob following close behind?
I had a great post written before yet another one of his threads was locked. *sigh*
Now I'm curious to know what it was! I was going to say something, but I knew it would get locked anyways. Predicted that in my blog.
Playing the resident evil 6 demo and paired up with a d-bag. If I see that d-bag again in the lobby, I'm going to partner with him, use all of the explosives on him and leave the game. D-Bag.
Turns out the piano sheet music I have for this song is wrong. Looks like I'm going to have to play it by ear. Oh joy.
And Malachite, you crack me up.
Quote from: Darkie on September 15, 2013, 09:35:43 PM
And Malachite, you crack me up.
I'm glad I do. :)
Quote from: Edge on September 15, 2013, 09:41:11 PM
Well, now I'm offended. :P
Lol don't be! It's a good thing because then it would lose the mysticism of it. When I ask myself "how did I land on their buddy list?" I don't want to be able to answer myself "look on pages 47-48 of the What are you thinking thread version 5.0." That's not romantic. :(
I am SO close to being able to have a goatee. I have thick, dark hairs all along my shin, and they are very populated. But there's this tiny bald patch right at the tip of my chin, just enough to split the goatee in two.
I shaved it to just a goatee in the shower, and I had to force myself to shave the rest off instead of passing it off as "meh, I can let it grow and see..."
I know my actual puberty was passed long ago, and I am physically an adult, but I really do feel like a teenage guy in so many ways. Given where I am at in my physical appearance, how society sees/treats me, how I am sort of "discovering" myself now that I am actually having a shot at being myself in the world and in body. I could deal with that, except I have adult responsibilities so yeah. I have to pretend I'm not going through a huge personal growth right now.
I came out to the Minecraft community I'm a part of. They've been like a family to me over the years I've been playing, so I figured it was only fair they know about this important step in my life.
The responses I got... Well, see for yourself: 2g1m.net/showthread.php?6004-Transsexualism-(Super-Serious-Business)/
These are people who really only know me from forum posts and text chatting while playing a video game. Why can't the whole world be like this?
I'm exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. My avatar looks far more relaxed and contented than she should right now. :-\
Quote from: caleb. on September 15, 2013, 11:05:09 PM
I am SO close to being able to have a goatee. I have thick, dark hairs all along my shin, and they are very populated. But there's this tiny bald patch right at the tip of my chin, just enough to split the goatee in two.
I shaved it to just a goatee in the shower, and I had to force myself to shave the rest off instead of passing it off as "meh, I can let it grow and see..."
I know my actual puberty was passed long ago, and I am physically an adult, but I really do feel like a teenage guy in so many ways. Given where I am at in my physical appearance, how society sees/treats me, how I am sort of "discovering" myself now that I am actually having a shot at being myself in the world and in body. I could deal with that, except I have adult responsibilities so yeah. I have to pretend I'm not going through a huge personal growth right now.
We TG folks on HRT always go through a second puberty both physically and mentally. I'm enjoying my second or possibly third childhood depending on who you talk to right now. Just don't make me eat my broccoli mommy! :D ;D :laugh:
The doggy is becoming quite insistent that I go to bed now. I'd probably better heed his advice.
Quote from: butterface on September 16, 2013, 07:12:33 PM
The doggy is becoming quite insistent that I go to bed now. I'd probably better heed his advice.
You've always been beautiful hon!
I just love how some of my well thought out posts get easily ignored and get sometime no responses at all but if someone starts freaking out, spamming the forum with 7 separate threads about things that ROCK MY WORLD and how I am freaking out about my trans truth typing in really large fonts and in bold they get all kinds of attention.
*snickers and pats* There there, eventually everyone will just leave it alone. I like your well thought out posts. And most of your posts. You can just stay in here with me. I have cookies. *Gives one*
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 16, 2013, 08:33:36 PM
I just love how some of my well thought out posts get easily ignored and get sometime no responses at all but if someone starts freaking out, spamming the forum with 7 separate threads about things that ROCK MY WORLD and how I am freaking out about my trans truth typing in really large fonts and in bold they get all kinds of attention.
I know how you feel. I thought your blunt answers in that thread were pretty hilarious though.
I will not give into the temptations of fast food commercials, I just can't handle the disappointment of what I feel to be false advertising at this time
AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Quote from: Joules on September 17, 2013, 12:30:21 AM
>:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-)
Sorry V M, I can be a little mean at times
>:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-)
It's okay, I was just being a bit facetious... Or was I? I could do without the guy but that burger looks pretty good :)
Well coming here certainly didn't help my lingering feel of hunger... I guess I gotta get some good eating from the store today. Pizza sounds good.
At this moment I'll be content with instant noodles.
I need a haircut. -_- I hate that feeling, when it just creeps up on you and then all of a sudden you just want to rip the hair out.
I'm hungry and I have an interview randomly in an hour and a half.
Quote from: caleb. on September 17, 2013, 11:28:20 AM
I need a haircut. -_- I hate that feeling, when it just creeps up on you and then all of a sudden you just want to rip the hair out.
and i don't want one. It's not too long yet and i'm lazy.
Quote from: Joules on September 17, 2013, 12:30:21 AM
>:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5P8nG_7H6YA
Sorry V M, I can be a little mean at times
>:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-)
That guy needs to clean up, his face makes the entire thing look unpalatable and disgusting! What's with American males all wanting to look like slobs these days?
...I thought it was the blue cheese that is on that burger that makes the ad unpalatable and disgusting.
Getting into the shower to go to an interview~ Wish me luck as I am going to have to dress female for it and I've been dressing pretty androgynous/male the past few days so it is going to be weird putting on a dress. >>
Endo on Monday. E minus six days?
Quote from: Joules on September 17, 2013, 01:29:51 PM
Good luck to you too Boob man
heh, reminds me of obscure 70's prog and don't ask me why, i don't know.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow. 4 pages of french vocabulary.
I got the job, but I feel...conflicted about something. I smell a blog post coming on..
I really wish some of these self-rightous elitest gamers would shut up about other people using cheats. If they don't want to use cheats, that's fine, but others want to. Those type of people strike me as people who have no life or no control over their life to where they need to feel powerful belittling others. I hope GTA V releases health and weapons cheats. Otherwise, I'd be crushed.
Quote from: Malachite on September 17, 2013, 02:54:12 PM
I really wish some of these self-rightous elitest gamers would shut up about other people using cheats. If they don't want to use cheats, that's fine, but others want to. Those type of people strike me as people who have no life or no control over their life to where they need to feel powerful belittling others. I hope GTA V releases health and weapons cheats. Otherwise, I'd be crushed.
I always give my SO a hard time about cheats, but that's because I know he's doing it simply cause he's being lazy. XD
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 16, 2013, 08:33:36 PM
I just love how some of my well thought out posts get easily ignored and get sometime no responses at all but if someone starts freaking out, spamming the forum with 7 separate threads about things that ROCK MY WORLD and how I am freaking out about my trans truth typing in really large fonts and in bold they get all kinds of attention.
The BANNED thread seems to be working out quite well. ::)
Quote from: Darkie on September 17, 2013, 02:50:53 PM
I got the job, but I feel...conflicted about something. I smell a blog post coming on..
Congratulations (caveat?)
To me, GTA means "Greater Toronto Area" ::)
Quote from: Just Maddie! on September 17, 2013, 06:57:02 PM
Congratulations (caveat?)
Eh, you can see why in my blog on here.
Quote from: Just Maddie! on September 17, 2013, 06:56:03 PM
The BANNED thread seems to be working out quite well. ::)
Not one I would consider a well thought out thread....lol
I do have one thing that I can say though. My well thought out threads tend to get well thought out replies compared to some of the replies on the freak out threads (besides my own replies on these threads, those are of course very well thought out :) not tooting my own horn or anything here) Quality vs Quantity, something I have to sometimes think about how important this is.
Spent an hour shaving in the shower. I now have a dull razor, no hot water, and one hairless leg. Feminine on the left and masculine on the right, it's all part of my plan to confuse my dysphoria into submission.
I'm craving pistachios, but more importantly I have advise...
Never peel cheese slices from the wrong end of the stack of cheese slices
Quote from: Darkie on September 17, 2013, 03:11:41 PM
I always give my SO a hard time about cheats, but that's because I know he's doing it simply cause he's being lazy. XD
I like them because they are so fun! :)
Just saw a Yahoo news article of volunteers being paid 10 grand by the NASA to lay in the bed for two months. Too bad I'm too young to qualify, otherwise I'd seriously consider it. That woulld have been a neat way to raise money for my top surgery fund. Oh well.
Quote from: Septet on September 17, 2013, 09:08:45 PM
Spent an hour shaving in the shower. I now have a dull razor, no hot water, and one hairless leg. Feminine on the left and masculine on the right, it's all part of my plan to confuse my dysphoria into submission.
I never realized how hard shaving legs was for MTFs until I had been on T for a while. I cut my leg and needed to clean it so I figured I'd shave it...I had much the same experience. My legs were hacked up/bleeding, the drain was clogged, I wasted tons of water, I didn't even get one clean swipe up the leg before it was clogged with hair...I probably used 4 razors, no joke, to shave both legs. It was horrible lol.
Quote from: caleb. on September 18, 2013, 01:47:28 AM
I never realized how hard shaving legs was for MTFs until I had been on T for a while. I cut my leg and needed to clean it so I figured I'd shave it...I had much the same experience. My legs were hacked up/bleeding, the drain was clogged, I wasted tons of water, I didn't even get one clean swipe up the leg before it was clogged with hair...I probably used 4 razors, no joke, to shave both legs. It was horrible lol.
Yeah, if anything proves I need to invest in LHR, this is it... Although I'm still holding out hope that E will completely destroy my body hair. Pretty please, oh magical HRT gods?
Pizza.
That's quite literally what I'm thinking at the moment. I think I gotta go get some sooner or later...
I also feel like playing Persona 3, been a while since I last played it through.
Too bad my fiancé started another playthrough of Persona 4 yesterday. :P
Quote from: caleb. on September 18, 2013, 01:47:28 AM
I never realized how hard shaving legs was for MTFs until I had been on T for a while. I cut my leg and needed to clean it so I figured I'd shave it...I had much the same experience. My legs were hacked up/bleeding, the drain was clogged, I wasted tons of water, I didn't even get one clean swipe up the leg before it was clogged with hair...I probably used 4 razors, no joke, to shave both legs. It was horrible lol.
Hehehe Wooly mammoth? :icon_peace:
1) An elderly gentleman taking 15 minutes to unwrap a candy bar says something about the packaging industry and how unnecessarily difficult some of it is to navigate.
2) Me watching said elderly gentleman taking 15 minutes to unwrap said candy bar says a great deal about my mental state and how I really need a hobby.
How does "No benefits will be paid for any care, service or supply in connection with a change in gender" not flatly contradict "The Board believes that all participants shall have equitable access to benefits"?
Quote from: Septet on September 18, 2013, 06:18:09 AM
Yeah, if anything proves I need to invest in LHR, this is it... Although I'm still holding out hope that E will completely destroy my body hair. Pretty please, oh magical HRT gods?
From what I understand a lot of MTFs lose much of their body hair after a while on HRT. :)
Quote from: caleb. on September 18, 2013, 05:04:56 PM
From what I understand a lot of MTFs lose much of their body hair after a while on HRT. :)
You're right! I never had much body hair to begin with but shaved my legs early on, but after 19 years they've become hairless on their own.
Keaira says I am hairier now than she was pre-HRT. I don't know how much hairy she had then, but as of now, she is perfectly smooth lol.
I need a PO box. I fear a $6,000+ check which is for me to live on this semester was stolen. I'll find out tomorrow. >:(
Quote from: caleb. on September 18, 2013, 05:13:32 PM
Keaira says I am hairier now than she was pre-HRT. I don't know how much hairy she had then, but as of now, she is perfectly smooth lol.
I honestly had very little body hair. the hairiest areas were my legs, face and head. My chest had just a spattering of dark hair which I think started growing in at age 20. I remember because I was in the bath and nearly dropped the phone in the water I was that horrified.
Quote from: Just Maddie! on September 18, 2013, 04:47:58 PM
How does "No benefits will be paid for any care, service or supply in connection with a change in gender" not flatly contradict "The Board believes that all participants shall have equitable access to benefits"?
Its too bad that they don't cover it but it isn't exactly a contradiction. Its just one group of people who's certain problems are not covered, all of the other benefits are equally given to you and the other participants. You could try to make the argument against a policy not covering prescription eye care discriminates against people with bad eye sight but really you wouldn't have the grounds to do so.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 18, 2013, 07:16:23 PM
Holy crap! That would suck! No way they could have deposited it directly to the bank?
I think it's my druggie younger sister, she goes to those sketchy check cashing places. I'd hope there was a limit of sorts. I requested a stop to go on it this evening, so the bursar's office will inform me if it was cashed or not.
In the meantime, yhank God I have excellent credit and I'll plot my revenge if needed >:-)
These lyrics are hitting me kinda hard...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzEUeWnV73U (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzEUeWnV73U)
Quote from: Keaira Raine on September 18, 2013, 07:22:10 PM
I honestly had very little body hair. the hairiest areas were my legs, face and head. My chest had just a spattering of dark hair which I think started growing in at age 20. I remember because I was in the bath and nearly dropped the phone in the water I was that horrified.
Phone chatting in the bath, naughty naughty naughty. :P
Pistachios are addictive
Quote from: Sephirah on September 18, 2013, 02:41:22 PM
1) An elderly gentleman taking 15 minutes to unwrap a candy bar says something about the packaging industry and how unnecessarily difficult some of it is to navigate.
2) Me watching said elderly gentleman taking 15 minutes to unwrap said candy bar says a great deal about my mental state and how I really need a hobby.
I'm not that elderly!! >:(
And I'm certainly
no gentleman >:-)
GODDAMMIT AKIRA YAMAOKA.
How on earth can one man make such amazing music?
My fiancé finished Silent Hill 4 couple days ago and I once again got to hear the amazing credit roll song "Cradle of Forest" and now I'm listening to it nonstop... @_@
The singer, Joe Romersa, has an awesome deep voice. Very fitting to the song...
And don't even get me started how much this song inspires me to draw. D:<
Something from last night is still kind of creeping me out. To most, its probably not a big deal, but to me, its a form of mocking and that bugs the ->-bleeped-<- out of me. I'm out for a while.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 18, 2013, 07:29:53 PM
I think it's my druggie younger sister, she goes to those sketchy check cashing places. I'd hope there was a limit of sorts. I requested a stop to go on it this evening, so the bursar's office will inform me if it was cashed or not.
In the meantime, yhank God I have excellent credit and I'll plot my revenge if needed >:-)
That's a nightmare in the making, hope it is stopped and you recover everything. I got a PO box once I saw the tongues down on all the mailboxes on my block, it's worth to peace of mind! My best to you Henry!
about pagan religions (is that right?). I'm getting fascinated with Germanic paganism and asatru (asutra? Usatra?) since I went to Elf Fantasy Fair. Can't really use another fascination at the start of the schoolyear but it's all so interesting. Difficult to find some sort of order though in the info I find...
wow, so i do still have my regional accent. i mean i always heard a hint of it, but come to think of it, i use it more than my fellow students, albeit subconciously
There's something dirty about that accent, which i have to tone down when i'm recording in german, because that accent can be placed to one certain city i spend most of the day in.
I asked my neighbor to pick me up some peanut butter while he was at the grocery in town and he brought back a twin pack of 2.5 pound jars. I think 5 total pounds of the stuff is enough for a couple weeks anyway, lol.
I've been dressed female all day, so when my husband went to work I put on boy clothes. Other than the fact that my hair looks girly cause it is curling out, I feel much calmer.
I could go for some kimche right now. Or some coffee. I'd go out and get some coffee to drink while I finish up some work, but I should save my cash since I don't know when I'll get my check, and I want to avoid putting anything more thenthe necessities on my card.
I really should stop eating this curry but OH MYLANTA IT'S SO YUMMY.
I was reminded of when I was in a psych ward when I was teenager. We were all watching Lilo and Stitch. Next thing I knew, I was crying my eyes out because of the line "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten" and the staff were asking me if I was alright.
It's kind of odd looking back.
Quote from: Edge on September 19, 2013, 08:56:40 PM
I was reminded of when I was in a psych ward when I was teenager. We were all watching Lilo and Stitch. Next thing I knew, I was crying my eyes out because of the line "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten" and the staff were asking me if I was alright.
It's kind of odd looking back.
My friend's friend is getting that tattooed on him. *hugs* Now you have a family here!
Entertaining the fantasy of joining the millitary. If I were actually able to join then perhaps I should choose Navy since I took NJROTC in high school. I would be a bit more familiar with their procedures.
Quote from: Liam Erik on September 19, 2013, 10:16:20 PM
Does anyone else do this? Whenever I'm between crushes, I can't see anything particularly great about men, I forget that I ever did, and I start wondering if I'm really bisexual or something. Then, eventually, a new infatuation launches and I spend days thinking little else besides boy, you are gay gay gay :icon_love: :icon_love: :icon_love:
I am like that but with girls. Sometimes I just dont feel all crushy. Then I do and it is like...wow lol
The old nose goes back to the grindstone tomorrow morning. Having three days off in a row is rare for me and no one from work called to bug me.
I love Britney Spears so much lol.
I want coffee but there's not enough milk for my consumption, fffff. @_@
I'm beginning to think this model is my Anti-depressant. I only ever work on it when my Dysphoria is in high gear. Which it has been very often here lately.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.foundation3d.com%2Fforums%2Fattachment.php%3Fattachmentid%3D68300%26amp%3Bd%3D1379764649&hash=a5391ae7e03ec991f92725d2ac45f0bc1198df44)
I blame the lack of estrogen and Spiro.
I feel like dysphoric ->-bleeped-<-. And I wish the private mtf forum was still open for free so that I could complain about it there. -.-" No offense ftm's, some issues just need privacy. My dysphoria's at a point where my own venting would just me feel less feminine if men were able to easily set their gazes on it.
I want to go home.
Yesterday made me realize i do need trauma therapy. Something triggered a flashback yesterday and let's just say i felt haunted again (by what happened).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hHkKJfcBXcw&list=SP3A5849BDE0581B19 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hHkKJfcBXcw&list=SP3A5849BDE0581B19)
Quote from: Jaime something or other... on September 20, 2013, 03:14:19 PM
The old nose goes back to the grindstone tomorrow morning. Having three days off in a row is rare for me and no one from work called to bug me.
Kind of anticlimactic isn't it? >:(
Quote from: Keaira Raine on September 21, 2013, 07:19:08 AM
I blame the lack of estrogen and Spiro.
Soon you will have it back and feel back to normal. *hug* Le paycheck. When will you get your first one? Is it every two weeks or a month?
Quote from: caleb. on September 21, 2013, 03:04:54 PM
Soon you will have it back and feel back to normal. *hug* Le paycheck. When will you get your first one? Is it every two weeks or a month?
Weekly and I get my first paycheck next week.
Quote from: Shantel on September 21, 2013, 11:14:07 AM
Kind of anticlimactic isn't it? >:(
I had a hard time sleeping last night too. But I was on time and then the computer crap at work didn't want to cooperate at all. So rather than wake my manager so early on her day off, I just did everything in the daily report manually and hope it works right tomorrow, lol.
Computers and scanners will be the death of us!
The new scanner stuff is actually causing about half the debit/credit receipts to be twice as long as they were and with about twice as many report pages due to the inventory crap with each sales day, the trees are gonna suffer right along with me.
Thinking about going ahead and selling my GTA V copy while I could get a good price for it.
I'm so effing done with Shingeki no Kyojin and their cliffhangers right now.
I have a feeling my wonderful day is going to be short lived as my husband came home really upset about work as he didn't sell anything today and figures his brother is going to come back and cuss him out.
Cosplaying. I can't wait to get top surgery so I can start cosplaying with a flat chest. It's going to be awesome!
I made a thing! Mind giving me your thoughts?
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,149206.new.html#new
Warning: TMI coming up but totally hilarious.
So our toilet was plugged and I was trying to get it unplugged. It was the worst smelling deuce I'd ever encountered. I couldn't do it so my brother came to try...the dirty water splashed all over his clothes, and he ran out of the bathroom and threw up. LOL.
Quote from: Joules on September 21, 2013, 09:21:59 PM
Years ago, a good friend of mine with a weak stomach was sitting cross legged on the carpet, playing with his young daughters. One of them threw up, which he caught in his hands, then he threw up on the carpet, 10 times more than what he caught.
That sounds like something that would happen to me.
Got pesticides in my lungs-this stuff will kill me before it kills the critters-this stuff is no joke
For all of you who are having a hard time, just remember Baby Lickity Split almost gave up, but her dreams came true!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BKr2mpLyy4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BKr2mpLyy4)
Repaired link.
GTA V may be disappointing, but it sure does come with it's surprises. *SPOILERS* I was just trying to take an innocent bike ride to the country near the sea (died and lost my bike so I had to use a motorcycle :( ) and by the time I was nearly there I had to rescue a girl who was about to be burried alive by two guys and come to find out, her family is in the mafia....wtf lol I heard about that in the GTA V but figured I'd never find that girl so screw that....and now I did. A cab is driving them all the way back to Vinewood so I need to use thise time to get started on the dishes....or at least rest my hand.
Ugh, Idk should I be a nurse? I like animals more than people, but being a nurse pays MUCH more than being a veterinary person. (Unless I were to become a veterinarian lawl)
Quote from: Liam Erik on September 23, 2013, 08:34:30 AM
I'm terrible on the phone. This morning I rehearsed my conversation a dozen times before calling. I got redirected a couple times, put on hold, and then the machine said, sorry, leave a message. I panicked and hung up because I hadn't rehearsed it that way. Then I thought, you moron, that was best case scenario. And now you have to start over.
I do the same thing. I usually have to write down a little script if I need to leave a message and I always screw up at the end. I never know how to end, and I usually sound like a moron and say "ahh. . . okay. . . bye."
I used to get real nervous talking on the phone, but nowadays, I don't even think about it, no dread at all.
And we just ate a whole bag of powdered donuts, only I had mine with chocolate milk and doggy ate his dry.
I just got my pills.
Yay, HRT!
I literally went *squee* when I came home and saw the box.
I'm taking only Spiro for the first few days to make sure I'm not allergic.
Spiro tastes like mint.
Why?
Why would you make medicine taste like mint?
I hate mint.
...
Except catnip, that stuff is delicious.
Edited for profanity
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 23, 2013, 08:46:10 PM
That's trippy. That reminds me of when I had San Andreas and I was driving a cab. I couldn't find any customers (I was down by the boardwalk) so I switched off the sign and pulled over onto the boardwalk. I went into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich and when I came back into the living room, I had three dudes from some Hispanic gang kicking the crap out of my cab and telling me to get out of the car. LOL I just sat there and ate my sandwich and watched them for a minute. Then I sped off, turned around and mowed them all down in a drive-by.
LOL that's so awkward!
Today I've just decided to completely rewire my ambitions. It's so sudden and dramatic that it would be pretty scary to someone observing actually; although then again I also figured out I was trans in one day as well, and that was years ago.
As I think about college I've decided to get a little more ambitious; yup, I'm seriously considering dropping the idea of a nursing degree and looking more into a biological science degree. Maybe I can overcome everything and be a vet, and, with biological sciences being one of the degree options required for the field, MAYBE I can overcome everything and become an astronaut too. =D I mean I'm not stupid I know I have terribly unrealistic goals added with trans stuff and I've been crappy in high school, but if else fails I can still put that biological science major to good use right? I could be a zoo person or something.
Cool! ^.^
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on September 23, 2013, 09:49:52 PM
Today I've just decided to completely rewire my ambitions. It's so sudden and dramatic that it would be pretty scary to someone observing actually; although then again I also figured out I was trans in one day as well, and that was years ago.
As I think about college I've decided to get a little more ambitious; yup, I'm seriously considering dropping the idea of a nursing degree and looking more into a biological science degree. Maybe I can overcome everything and be a vet, and, with biological sciences being one of the degree options required for the field, MAYBE I can overcome everything and become an astronaut too. =D I mean I'm not stupid I know I have terribly unrealistic goals added with trans stuff and I've been crappy in high school, but if else fails I can still put that biological science major to good use right? I could be a zoo person or something.
Cool! ^.^
I was one class away from having an Information Technology degree and dropped it to go into ASL interpreting. I'm starting from scratch, but I'm loving it and really glad I did.
If it wasn't for Wishbone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wishbone_(TV_series)), I'd be so lost whenever a classic book was brought up. Thanks to that show, I can blunder my way safely through any classic book obstacles if there was an episode on it.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 23, 2013, 10:40:46 PM
If it wasn't for Wishbone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wishbone_(TV_series)), I'd be so lost whenever a classic book was brought up. Thanks to that show, I can blunder my way safely through any classic book obstacles if there was an episode on it.
;D ;D ;D
I really hope my husband doesn't come upstairs right now as I'm sitting here in boredom with a gel pen up my nose.
No. I'm not kidding.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 23, 2013, 11:05:25 PM
Ouch. Doesn't that hurt?
Is it weird that I have actual bedtimes for my two "younger" plushies?
No, it doesn't. It's just kinda hanging there.
And nah, Fenrir sometimes gets tucked in when I leave, and when I go to sleep I make sure his little face is outside of the covers so he doesn't suffocate.
I really wish another episode of Princess Robot Bubblegum came to GTA V. Heck I wish Princess Robot Bubblegum was a real anime.
Hmm, apparently I can be a nurse with a biological science degree anyway so YAY!!! New degree to pursue with so many more options. ^.^ Glad I took the gap year to figure this out.
Quote from: Malachite on September 23, 2013, 11:10:05 PM
Heck I wish Princess Robot Bubblegum was a real anime.
Ew I don't. :P
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 23, 2013, 11:18:13 PM
Actually, I thought that WAS an anime. Then I remembered where I heard it from. :D
it should be-it's awesome
If I were to choose the absolute sexiest career for a man to be in, it would be voice acting.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on September 24, 2013, 04:23:28 AM
If I were to choose the absolute sexiest career for a man to be in, it would be voice acting.
I don't know if going into that career is what makes them sexy, but I do have to agree that the ones that are voice actors do have a certain quality about them....if James Earl Jones or Casey Kasem weren't both over 80 years old...
Quote from: Anonymous User on September 24, 2013, 05:34:38 AM
I don't know if going into that career is what makes them sexy, but I do have to agree that the ones that are voice actors do have a certain quality about them....if James Earl Jones or Casey Kasem weren't both over 80 years old...
Well, there's Mark Hamill. He's pretty much exclusively a voice actor these days. He was the voice of the Joker in almost every non-live action Batman outing, AND he's the voice of the Fire Lord in Avatar: The Last Airbender!
Wether choosing transgender as a subject in one of my papers would out me in school and if that would even be a bad thing.
I love my belly, but the fat redistribution needs to stop already LOL. I have like no ass.
Quote from: caleb. on September 24, 2013, 09:38:04 AM
I love my belly, but the fat redistribution needs to stop already LOL. I have like no ass.
You mean you're looking like a man? :D
Yeah, my butt is basically a total guy's butt now lol. I love it, but I want my clothing size to stay static! I'm not gaining or losing a pound, but the butt gets smaller and smaller and the belly gets bigger and bigger.
Quote from: caleb. on September 24, 2013, 02:34:37 PM
Yeah, my butt is basically a total guy's butt now lol. I love it, but I want my clothing size to stay static! I'm not gaining or losing a pound, but the butt gets smaller and smaller and the belly gets bigger and bigger.
It's a guy thing, but the belly can be controlled by what doesn't go in the feed chute.
I just noticed that yesterday I missed a big chunk of armpit hair, and I've been out with it and a dress with almost no sleeves, stretching on my work desk in fron of my colleagues. Ouch.
Well, At least I was ot the one with a giant sweat mark on that spot.
Quote from: caleb. on September 24, 2013, 02:34:37 PM
Yeah, my butt is basically a total guy's butt now lol. I love it, but I want my clothing size to stay static! I'm not gaining or losing a pound, but the butt gets smaller and smaller and the belly gets bigger and bigger.
One year ago I was told:
"Now that you have lost weight, you have no butt anymore, and it was a great sight" And that happened before coming out of the closet. They really pay attention to those details... You will need to work out that butt, so you better start with those squats...
Quote from: Apple Sprout on September 24, 2013, 03:23:43 PM
I just noticed that yesterday I missed a big chunk of armpit hair, and I've been out with it and a dress with almost no sleeves, stretching on my work desk in fron of my colleagues. Ouch.
Well, At least I was ot the one with a giant sweat mark on that spot.
One year ago I was told: "Now that you have lost weight, you have no butt anymore, and it was a great sight" And that happened before coming out of the closet. They really pay attention to those details... You will need to work out that butt, so you better start with those squats...
What my mother keeps on saying and actually it is a real problem, no matter what i wear, it keeps slipping off. I have lost a lot of weight due to stress, which is not a good thing for a rather obese young guy like me. The weird and actually quite worrying thing is that i keep losing weight despite having gone back to my old eating habits.
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on September 24, 2013, 03:32:46 PM
What my mother keeps on saying and actually it is a real problem, no matter what i wear, it keeps slipping off
For me the real problem was sitting down without cushioning. In my first GID aware days I was losing 0.5 kg per week (wasting, could not digest food due to stress and anxiety), and it was impossible. Going in the metro, or old chairs, and I could feel the bone against a flat surface. My weight now is even smaller than before, but at lest I can sit. I take several photos to keep checking the evolution, but my bum is something I've never shown a lot of interest in, apart from keeping it hair-free.
Heh, Back in 2006 I called it my built-in cushion, I could sit everywhere (like that short from cyanide & Happiness).
Downloading the Beyond Two Souls demo. Hope it's good. I had to delete the WWE 13 memory off my PS3 just to fit it in.
Let's hope the ZFT is serious and will actually release the long-awaited "Roxy 1973" movie.
I smell tasty, delicious ruse......
I wish my mother would stop talking.
Made $150 on my day off. Not too bad, but I'm tired and soggy...
And my neighbor's son passed away yesterday morning. I feel really bad for him, but the son was ill with cancer for a while and I know its the best thing for him anyway. I try to remember that knowing what my dad went through and how much he did not want to deal with the pain and drawn out illness.
Quote from: Jaime something or other... on September 24, 2013, 05:55:41 PM
Made $150 on my day off. Not too bad, but I'm tired and soggy...
Get the hot dogs on! ;D
Quote from: Jaime something or other... on September 24, 2013, 05:55:41 PM
And my neighbor's son passed away yesterday morning. I feel really bad for him, but the son was ill with cancer for a while and I know its the best thing for him anyway. I try to remember that knowing what my dad went through and how much he did not want to deal with the pain and drawn out illness.
Always a sad event especially when they are so young.
Organizational change takes more than strong rationale to sell to resistant staff.
Fantasizing about being a transgender professional skater.
Came across with something like "candy exchange" yesterday... Sounds really interesting to me, a bit different way to learn about other countries! ...Though I think no one would want that certain Finnish candy. |D
Wondering what people will think about my phone cover when I go back to male mode (Only two days of clothes left).
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FPDgjmZO.jpg&hash=038a1a8840f5e26d9652a2bd7e8388b61b7d9640)
Noooooooooooo, I was writing out a good lengthy reply that I had been thinking of for the last 20 minutes in Brandon's thread only to have it locked. I actually cut my game off to reply. I knew this would happen so shame on me for even trying to consider helping. I'm afraid I came a bit too late.
I'm done and I haven't even started. I feel like bashing my head against the wall for being an idiot to even try to reply.
I'm angry. I'm angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry ANGRY!!!!!!!! :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: :eusa_wall: I typed out all of those angrys just to let out my anger.
Quote from: Malachite on September 25, 2013, 04:28:09 PM
Noooooooooooo, I was writing out a good lengthy reply that I had been thinking of for the last 20 minutes in Brandon's thread only to have it locked. I actually cut my game off to reply. I knew this would happen so shame on me for even trying to consider helping. I'm afraid I came a bit too late.
I'm done and I haven't even started. I feel like bashing my head against the wall for being an idiot to even try to reply.
I hate that. Save it and send it as a pm or cut and paste into word. I am sure he'll need to hearit in the future. ;)
What an I thinking? I don't understand why some people think God is a giant genie here to make all of our wishes come true. This is Earth, notHeaven.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 25, 2013, 04:32:31 PM
I hate that. Save it and send it as a pm or cut and paste into word. I am sure he'll need to hearit in the future. ;)
I had actually quoted you bro. I was gonig to save it, but then I just decided to delete it. I'm sure there will be another thread he will make that will bring up God again and that's where I'm going to say that he really does need to put his faith in God and how he should really seek Him instead of the advice of men (which is clearly not working anyways).
Whoops....and that was the light version of it.
Took my first dose of E today. I felt... happy? Is that this feeling? I haven't felt it in so long, it's hard to remember.
Pretentiousness aside, I felt great. Not sure if it's my brain finally being fed the right hormones, or if it's just psychosomatic, I don't care. I'm usually a bundle of bristles surrounded by all these bright eyes and bushy tails when I head into work, especially if I had trouble sleeping like I did last night. But I walked into the building with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. (Or at least a sway in my hips...) I started giggling uncontrollably about halfway through the day, this went on for five straight minutes. Luckily, no one noticed.
Excited to be getting married in DC Friday and looking forward to the Honeymoon at the beach BUT I hate packing (doing it now) and am not looking forward to the long 9 hour drive.
Quote from: Joules on September 25, 2013, 08:32:59 PM
Nice Septet, congrats!
As was said to me, it's all kittens and roses from now on, enjoy!
I FRICKING LOVE KITTENS!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-CmTiuRpC8YA%2FTeTnkytibfI%2FAAAAAAAADUg%2FA0h-IIWegoQ%2Fs1600%2FHeavy%252BMetal%252BKitty.jpg&hash=8a2f93bb79cd27e090bd48733860983f8747bab0)
Roses, not so much. I'm more of a lily girl, if I had to choose.
I just love riding a bicycle in GTA V. I'm glad there's a cheat code to just spawn a bike. It's so peaceful just to ride and not know where you're going and to ride along the coastline. The bikes that have the jump makes it even more interesting.
Quote from: Si on September 25, 2013, 08:53:13 PM
Excited to be getting married in DC Friday and looking forward to the Honeymoon at the beach BUT I hate packing (doing it now) and am not looking forward to the long 9 hour drive.
Know what's worse than packing for a trip? Repacking at the end of said trip to drive home. And yea, I hear you with 9 hour drive! I usually am the driver for the 5 hours away cons I work at for my friends and I, and that is about my limit.
AND.
CONGRATS! :o :o ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D
Day2 of full time stealth and I'm already being asked the tough questions. "Who delivered your son?" "Who is youŕ OBGYN?" Luckily, I had answers, all truthful. But it sure brings home that I will never have a lot of the experiences these women have had.
Quote from: Keaira Raine on September 25, 2013, 09:50:39 PM
Day2 of full time stealth and I'm already being asked the tough questions. "Who delivered your son?" "Who is youŕ OBGYN?" Luckily, I had answers, all truthful. But it sure brings home that I will never have a lot of the experiences these women have had.
I have so much respect for those of you who are stealth. People can be so nosey..
The "By the Books" mission in GTA V with the pliers...it made me cringe. I don't think I could bring myself to use that instrument again. Surprisingly, I do have limits lol. For me, that was worse than the "No Russian" mission in MW 2 (though I got desensitized to that). Can't bring myself to hunt in GTA V either.
Oh my... I can't find my eyes anywhere because I just cried them out...
And I thought T had completely robbed me of my emotions but obviously it didn't. It just took that certain something to pull them out.
And I'm seriously so pathetic that certain something is a fricking video game.
Quote from: Tossu-sama on September 25, 2013, 10:41:52 PM
Oh my... I can't find my eyes anywhere because I just cried them out...
And I thought T had completely robbed me of my emotions but obviously it didn't. It just took that certain something to pull them out.
And I'm seriously so pathetic that certain something is a fricking video game.
*pat pat* DragonAge 2 made my husband cry. I had to hug him for a few moments while he sniffled and teared up. And Tales of Xillia made me cry like 3 times.
Quote from: Darkie on September 25, 2013, 09:55:33 PM
I have so much respect for those of you who are stealth. People can be so nosey..
its factory life. Women will talk about their children, doctors and family in general more than guys what I dread are the questions that I can't answer without lying. Plus, I have been out and open before. It just bit me in the rear.
I don't even know who or what Portia is, but I got wicked excited seeing this in my Commercial Law Sales textbook because I thought of Miss Bungle.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1337.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo665%2FLearnedHand1%2FIMG_20130925_131856_829_zps6e377d04.jpg&hash=2e2472d3af73d63e60f2baab90729f345e9fdf68) (http://s1337.photobucket.com/user/LearnedHand1/media/IMG_20130925_131856_829_zps6e377d04.jpg.html)
Quote from: Keaira Raine on September 25, 2013, 11:04:52 PM
its factory life. Women will talk about their children, doctors and family in general more than guys what I dread are the questions that I can't answer without lying. Plus, I have been out and open before. It just bit me in the rear.
I don't think there are many questions like that, lol. At least none I can think of. I don't know. It seems I missed out on women's secret discussions amongst themselves because all the things they asked you are alien to me lol.
Even though I haven't even began to live life, I feel like being trans has actually aged me to the point where I am literally wondering where is my long white beard. Aside from that, I can already tell there is aging in my face from the stress of being trans, but I think in the proper photos I can pull off the "Scarface" type aging where I look awesome.
This daybed is so comphy, laying in it all bundled in my ....blankets...and...I....was...thinking.. * snnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnore* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I was going to reply to a thread but I know it's probably going to get locked before I can send the message so it's no point.
Quote from: Malachite on September 26, 2013, 05:27:02 PM
I was going to reply to a thread but I know it's probably going to get locked before I can send the message so it's no point.
It's still going, you might have a chance. XD
Actually, the greatest cartoon character ever created would be Bugs Bunny. No one can even come close. He was a very talented rabbit.
Quote from: Jaime something or other... on September 26, 2013, 05:49:07 PM
Actually, the greatest cartoon character ever created would be Bugs Bunny. No one can even come close. He was a very talented rabbit.
Aaaaah whats up doc? Well I tell ya Fudd, I mean Jaime, I like Yosemite Sam, he reminds me of someone I know who looks and acts exactly like him.
I'm voting Bugs Bunny but also love all of Bug's crew of co-stars
I love Rupert.
Quote from: Darkie on September 26, 2013, 05:32:56 PM
It's still going, you might have a chance. XD
Too late lol.
In my two years of being on this site, there has only been one other instance of seeing so many threads liked and that was on the MtF side. However, those threads were created by different people. It's bad when you see a thread started by someone and you know it's going to be locked.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 26, 2013, 08:36:05 PM
Who?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdZfFqoP2U8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdZfFqoP2U8)
Yea.
Rupert Bear (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Lily_(Rupert)#Characters_and_story)
Rupert (TV series) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rupert_(TV_series))
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 26, 2013, 09:01:50 PM
Never heard of it. But from 1991 to 1997 my life revolved around lots of Death Metal, Grindcore and from 95 to 97 I was getting into Harsh Noise. I watched virtually no TV except for some shows on Nick at Nite when I was going to bed.
I loved the movie Black Dream Hole (Sailor Moon) when I was younger but I could not figure out why. But I knew I loved LOVED Peruru. He was the first character I ever wanted to crossplay.
Turns out Rupert's voice actor does Peruru. XD That explains why I loved him so much but didn't know why.
This is Peruru: (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsp4.fotolog.com%2Fphoto%2F4%2F37%2F10%2Fcary_thebest90%2F1251087632552_f.jpg&hash=bc26c3a5d0c401c880f041cda73d3dccaf954451)
I'm dying inside at the english voices. I forgot how bad a lot of them were in Sailor Moon. I loves me some Sailor Uranus's Japanese voice.
Lately I have had trouble focusing so I am forcing myself to do things in 5 minute bursts. Like, if I have to clean up my room, I just set the stopwatch for five minutes and go nuts. It seems to work well enough, keeps me focused on it to get a large chunk done.
I don't know if this is the T or if I just respond to stress this way now. I used to have super focus when I was under stress but now, when I am stressed, it all goes out the window.
Quote from: Darkie on September 26, 2013, 09:51:59 PM
I'm dying inside at the english voices. I forgot how bad a lot of them were in Sailor Moon. I loves me some Sailor Uranus's Japanese voice.
I love me some Sailor Uranus... ;D Hey, why don't you and your lover, er, I mean, totally het cousin come over for dinner tonight, Uranus? Damnable American dubbing companies... This is why I don't watch ANY anime in English any more. Well, this started it, 4Kids hammered the last nail in the coffin.
I tried to learn Japanese, so i could watch without subtitles, but holy cow... I don't think I could learn Japanese if you paid me. I'm just going to go back to my German Rosetta Stone now...
On a completely unrelated note, my nipples were feeling weird today. As in, I could actually feel them. That was a bizarre sensation, I must say. Usually if something is touching my chest I'm like, "Something is on my chest." I don't remember ever really feeling my nipples separately before. They were kind of itchy, too. Is this all in my head? I shouldn't be having any physical effects from E this quickly, right?
It made me decide to make an HRT journal, to record various unusual feeling and sensations I get throughout the day. Hopefully, it will help me sort out happenstance from enemy action. (Points if you get that reference.)
LOL the English Sailor Moon is hilarious. I love the woman who voices Amara though (in English obviously). She was in Ugly Betty and she is Canadian I believe.
My favourite line of English-Uranus: We're going to get ice cream!
The way she says it is priceless.
After all of these theological debates I've been watching, I feel like a theologian myself.
Quote from: caleb. on September 26, 2013, 11:51:56 PM
LOL the English Sailor Moon is hilarious. I love the woman who voices Amara though (in English obviously). She was in Ugly Betty and she is Canadian I believe.
My favourite line of English-Uranus: We're going to get ice cream!
The way she says it is priceless.
Her japanese voice actor does a lot of young men too, she just has this husky woman voice that I LOVE.
My favorite scout when I was younger was Sailor Saturn. She was just like me. Asthma, always tired, and no one liked her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOOTHA_Lnho (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOOTHA_Lnho)
It would have been awesome to roll with the dream team RV in Viva La Bam when they went to Mardi Gras
Thinking that's one fine looking cheesecake!
Father, you left me but I never left you,
I needed you but you didn't need me,
I like Ugly Betty's portrayal of a transwoman the best. Alexis is awesome; she's strong, independent, she's feminine but she isn't an over-the-top stereotype, she's not a complete moron about her dating life, her dating life is not the center of her character, etc.
Rebecca Romijn was perfect for the role. ^.^ (not just because she's rly tall o.O)
Yeah, I think they did a really good job with Alexis. It would have been good if she had been played by an actual trans woman, but I think their portrayal was good.
:Edit: I used the word good three times in that short post lol. I need a thesaurus. But I'm tired so no.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwBVWG4h_Jg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwBVWG4h_Jg)
Love this song.
Mi parents could have sent "accidentally" my walking pole, mixing it with the ones from my brother. My plan is to take the bike out in Saturday and make an easy hiking routeon sunday (3 hours aprox), but...
I need the saturday's morning for several things:
- Recover missing sleep hours from work week
- Mail back a t-shirt (they sent the wrong one)
- Go back to my parent's place and find the stick. I may consider taking my 1st gen gameboy, too.
- Buy meat. I was planning on going vegetarian, but for the time being I've settle with no more pork.
- Mass cook for the next week. I haven't cooked for 4 days, and it really helps. I will be able to go back to the gym in october.
- Black clothing laundry
My parent's won't be at home for a week, so I could go there in female attire instead of changing to go there, but I'll swallow my pride to avoid neighbours gossiping till they discover. I don't think they would recognize me in the dark, but If I am seen opening the door, it will be quite easy to identify me (I've lived there for almost 30 years). Also, I only have one clean dress and I'd rather keep it for a special occasion. With the heat wave all of my firl clothes are currently drying
Anyways, I bought this hoodie and top:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.bershka.net%2F4%2Fphotos%2F2013%2FI%2F0%2F1%2Fp%2F6901%2F258%2F671%2F6901258671_1_1_3.jpg%3Ftimestamp%3D1378747449435&hash=9da4261298c79b05d38e14f4a6b70c690e85c37f)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.bershka.net%2F4%2Fphotos%2F2013%2FI%2F0%2F1%2Fp%2F8011%2F016%2F541%2F8011016541_1_1_3.jpg%3Ftimestamp%3D1374592526799&hash=3dc58940542afea1f59de51356e36c26031b4e96)
They sure are taking their time to deliver them. One week from purchase till the send it, and now waiting to receive it in the store. With this I'd have three autumn combinations...
Quote from: Apple Sprout on September 27, 2013, 02:50:57 PM
Anyways, I bought this hoodie and top:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.bershka.net%2F4%2Fphotos%2F2013%2FI%2F0%2F1%2Fp%2F6901%2F258%2F671%2F6901258671_1_1_3.jpg%3Ftimestamp%3D1378747449435&hash=9da4261298c79b05d38e14f4a6b70c690e85c37f)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.bershka.net%2F4%2Fphotos%2F2013%2FI%2F0%2F1%2Fp%2F8011%2F016%2F541%2F8011016541_1_1_3.jpg%3Ftimestamp%3D1374592526799&hash=3dc58940542afea1f59de51356e36c26031b4e96)
They sure are taking their time to deliver them. One week from purchase till the send it, and now waiting to receive it in the store. With this I'd have three autumn combinations...
Cute! They always seem to take too long, just maybe we are anxious and get impatient like kids waiting for their secret decoder ring. :D
That having the backlight on my keyboard coloured pink is actually kinda nice.
Quote from: Sephirah on September 27, 2013, 03:49:00 PM
That having the backlight on my keyboard coloured pink is actually kinda nice.
ooo how'd you get one like that?
Quote from: Fitter Admin on September 27, 2013, 03:55:38 PM
ooo how'd you get one like that?
http://youtu.be/7v0ib6V6Oao
Going to the closest computer shop, I guess.
Logitech G510, one of the best things I could buy
Quote from: Fitter Admin on September 27, 2013, 03:55:38 PM
ooo how'd you get one like that?
It's part of my laptop. :) It comes with a choice of colours that you can choose from, across the left, centre and right of the keyboard. You can even make it alternate or have pulsing effects like a heartbeat. I'm easily pleased, lol.
Edit: I found a pic from the site it came from. This is what my laptop looks like:
(https://www.pcspecialist.co.uk/images/products/3712/1_big.jpg?398)
In my avatar, my dog looks kinda scared. It's like he's thinking "Oh crap, the marsh monster has me!!"
Quote from: Jaime something or other... on September 27, 2013, 05:53:45 PM
In my avatar, my dog looks kinda scared. It's like he's thinking "Oh crap, the marsh monster has me!!"
Every time I pick one of my dogs up she looks terrified.
I love Jessie J's video for "Who's Laughing Now." I only recently came across it, and I guess some critics were hard on her because they thought the song was coming off a bit too strong. But I love it! I think she is totally entitled to give a big "F U" to the kids who tormented her.
Quote from: Jaime something or other... on September 27, 2013, 05:53:45 PM
In my avatar, my dog looks kinda scared. It's like he's thinking "Oh crap, the marsh monster has me!!"
One can hardly blame him, hopefully you don't bite! :D ;D :laugh:
Tried to play the Resident Evil 6 demo and found that it was hard for me to play because I was playing it as if it had the GTA V controls.....not the best play when you have zombies coming at you would guns....
Verrückt is my favourite word.
On a similar note, I wonder if I am the only one who finds it a little insulting when people with no history of mental illness start talking about being "crazy" as if it's cool. Especially since these same people tend to be insensitive people who actually are mentally ill (such as shunning them or telling them to get over it). At least, that's what I've noticed.
I like "brouhaha" and "discombobulate" equally well.
That you girls look a lot better than I do! You've set the bar pretty high. In my mind (at 47) and mirror, I look like the daughter of a Russian beet farmer. If any of you ARE Russian beet farmers daughters, I'll give you the co-ordinates for an air strike! :)
I can't go to my friends' Halloween party because my ex is unwilling to trade weekends and I'd feel bad about asking my usual babysitter since I'll be gone until midnight. It doesn't help that the reason he won't trade is because the halloween party at a bar happens to be on the same weekend. (He's a violent alcoholic.)
I'm thinking that even among a lifetime of hardships, downfalls and a long battle with GID; that I am truly blessed and very thankful that I have the opportunities, the support, and love of everyone around me such as my family, friends, roommates, and work. I'm thinking to myself and asking as to why I get to be so lucky, to have all this love, support, caringness, and acceptance from everyone when so many don't have it.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on September 28, 2013, 05:04:36 AM
That you girls look a lot better than I do! You've set the bar pretty high. In my mind (at 47) and mirror, I look like the daughter of a Russian beet farmer. If any of you ARE Russian beet farmers daughters, I'll give you the co-ordinates for an air strike! :)
Incoming!!! You're certainly not alone with those feelings Jessica, don't let it ruin your own plans because true to life there is always someone prettier, sexier, more vivacious and successful in every respect than others and it doesn't deter those others in their own quest to be the best of who they really are. One beet farmer's daughter to another I can assure you that even beet farmer's daughters have people who love them!
I feel so restless. >:( I'd take the dogs out for a walk or something, but I have a binding injury again, and I can't find any sports bras.
I spoke to my dad this morning and realized that he hasn't got his head around the reality that I'm transitioning. I asked him if he'd mentioned it to his old-boy lunch group and he said "that sort of thing is private. I don't see any reason why anyone should ever have to know what you do in your personal life." Umm...
Interesting to notice how much impact a video game can have on me emotionally. I've played Persona 3 through three times over the course of three years and I still haven't recovered from the ending. It always leaves this weird empty feeling behind and... agh.
Maybe I should draw some fanart to get over it or something... If I'll ever get over it, that is.
Woke up at 11 (in my defence, I'm sick), told myself I'd start cleaning at noon, and it is now 1. Yeah that sounds about right. At least I'm starting now.
I wonder if I'll ever get around to my sewing projects. I wonder if I'll ever get better at sewing.
I wonder if I'll be able to keep up in chemistry.
Quote from: Edge on September 29, 2013, 11:08:53 AM
I wonder if I'll be able to keep up in chemistry.
The answer is always Hydrogen.
I'm resolved to come out to my uncle. He's the only close family member who doesn't know. To date, my coming out experiences have all been positive. This one has the potential to seriously go sour. :(
*steel yourself, girl*
I'm thinking of getting any IT certification that I can get my hands on
I've just bought my first mens shoes and they're from the teenage section (size 5) and it's so funny how they look so tiny while my womens shoes are the same size yet they don't look like they're tiny shoes... I think my brain's playing tricks on me.
After I get top surgery, instead of doing nothing but Sailor Moon cosplays at Anime Expo, I'm going to see where the gatherings are that I'm intersted in. I know I'll do a SM cosplay one time but I'll probably switch it up and do a Yugioh, DBZ or Resident Evil cosplay. If there's a Lupin the Third cosplay gathering, I may look into doing that, but I'll probably stick to something more mainstream....but NOT team rocket because in the Anime expo tips I was memorizing a couple of years ago, basically everyone and their mother goes as team rocket.
I'm thinking that pizza in Malachite's current avatar looks pretty good.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.valpak.com%2Fimg%2Fbpp%2FJetsPizzaSqPepPiz_4CI.eps&hash=2b15a85120b823d7289955884bb5e9858b784d30)
Ive been thinking about going to a support group for more than a year, and in July we were quite close to it (Two friends visiting also wanted to go, but we could not fit it in the schedule). And now, I'm thinking about going once and for all. The trans group does not exist anymore, so it is the mixed one for me (mainly gay). Despite leaning towards les, I don't know how I would fit in their support group...
I've got a day off today. I need something to do. Playing video games all day is not a plan!
Or is it...
Persona 4 anime was a pleasant surprise. It followed the game quite accurately and managed to include the Social Links pretty seamlessly, too. Definetly worth my time!
But... what to do now?
Nvm I don't want to be a vet anymore. I love animals and hospital like settings but I also love cash, especially cash I can use on trans stuff, like having an 80,000$ baby! I'm going with OB/GYN something, either nurse, assistant or doctor, whichever I'm capable of grasping. I've always had an obsession with pregnancy, and OB/GYN doctors make twice as much as vets!
Quote from: Tossu-sama on September 30, 2013, 10:56:23 AM
But... what to do now?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the WORLD!
I'm intrigued...I used to be able to wrap my fingers around my wrist, and the finger and the thumb would just barely touch. Now, I can't touch the finger and thumb at all. My wrist isn't fatty, so I wonder if my bones changed a little bit. =/
Quote from: caleb. on September 30, 2013, 01:58:22 PM
I'm intrigued...I used to be able to wrap my fingers around my wrist, and the finger and the thumb would just barely touch. Now, I can't touch the finger and thumb at all. My wrist isn't fatty, so I wonder if my bones changed a little bit. =/
That's T for ya hon! I'm on E and have had two links taken out of my watchband three times now and I need to do it again soon because I'm getting Tweety Bird wrists. It would be nice if my mid-sectiopn would do that....but noooo! :D ;D :laugh:
Lol well that explains it! T has made my midsection much bigger...I haven't gained weight, but it's all gone from my butt (augh I hated it I hated it good riddance) to my belly.
Actually, my grandma thinks I am going to die very young lol. This was our conversation yesterday:
*long period of silence*
G: so how are you feeling?
Me: Um...in terms of what?
G: you know, healthwise
Me: Fine...why?
G: well, with all the changes, isn't that hard on your body?
Me: Not really, I feel basically the same. Just happier.
G: ah. That's what Cher said about that...Chaz? That he is happier now. I suppose that's what matters the most.
In her head she's probably thinking I'll die at 30. :P I never told her I was starting hormones. So it took her a while to figure it out. For a long time it was "oh boy, that cold really did a number on your voice!" But now...
I have had those conversations too :)
Such as:
Sure could use a haircut.
Better trim those nails.
Hug a girl today? You smell perfumed.
Is that Kool-Aid on your lips?
Gotta say though, I am glad I have all of my BDU's (battle dress uniforms) from the day or I would catch heck when out and about for clothing issue's. They would have issue's if they saw in my closet though! :o
Are they being deliberately oblivious or do they not know that you are trans?
Played some sports champion yesterday and used my right arm the most in the gladiator game and I can feel the pain of that near my scalpula.
That's not a letter to yourself, it's the lyrics to "Lazy."
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 30, 2013, 03:42:35 PM
That's not a letter to yourself, it's the lyrics to "Lazy."
i know. but it fits me.
1 cookie if you say the band name.
When I pronounce Albert Wesker's name, I don't pronounce it as is with a hard sound. I pronounce it "Albat Veskarrr" (Albat- ves- carrr) because it just sounds so much cooler to me!
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on September 30, 2013, 03:46:19 PM
i know. but it fits me.
1 cookie if you say the band name.
Deep Purple, the best version is on Made In Japan, with the six minute plus drum solo in "The Mule"
Quote from: Joules on September 30, 2013, 03:47:33 PM
Deep Purple. Cookie please
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3-media4.ak.yelpcdn.com%2Fbphoto%2FZkhxC8N1eRyK45UgXubppA%2Fl.jpg&hash=641b8782c24ca9b35fba3da3d4ebdcba1ad8ef66)
And i grew up on Made in Japan and "In Concert: 1970-1972 (BBC)"
Quote from: Malachite on September 30, 2013, 03:50:21 PM
When I pronounce Albert Wesker's name, I don't pronounce it as is with a hard sound. I pronounce it "Albat Veskarrr" (Albat- ves- carrr) because it just sounds so much cooler to me!
Wesker was so badass!
6÷2(1+2) = ????
Quote from: caleb. on September 30, 2013, 04:22:35 PM
Wesker was so badass!
I know right? Totally agree even though I never played any of the games with him in it.
Quote from: Ксениа on September 30, 2013, 05:08:13 PM
6÷2(1+2) = ????
I'm thinking 9
Quote from: Ксениа on September 30, 2013, 05:08:13 PM
6÷2(1+2) = ????
I believe 9 is correct, once you do what's inside the brackets, you just go from left to right since division and multiplication are on the same level of operations.
Quote from: Joules on September 30, 2013, 05:58:01 PM
1 plus 2 = 3
2 times 3 = 6
6 div 6 = 1
Not saying you are wrong but why do the multiplication first?
Quote from: Kristal on September 30, 2013, 01:33:28 PM
The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the WORLD!
Damn, I thought that sounded familiar. Takes me back to my elementary school years. :D
It's annoying feeling when I want to draw but I still don't feel like drawing. The joys of being an artist. <headdesk>
Someone should do an updated version of this song. Some countries are missing, some aren't countries anymore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDtdQ8bTvRc
Tired. I hope my driving instructor calls back tommorrow.
Albat Veskarrrr
Quote from: ثنائية بين الجنسين on September 30, 2013, 06:17:49 PM
Someone should do an updated version of this song. Some countries are missing, some aren't countries anymore.
Hahaha I found one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytKIX45JP7s
Listening to Rey Mysterio's old theme song and wondering why did I stop wrestling and then I remembered. I was upset when CM Punk was going to take a stand and leave WWE but he came back. That was a couple a years ago lol. I should watch it again but I won't, at least no time soon.
I think after all this Breaking Bad talk that I'd like to watch it. But now I have to do whatever it takes to avoid spoilers...
Quote from: caleb. on September 30, 2013, 07:01:08 PM
Yep
It appears the answer is debatable. Some believe that the lack of the "x" between the 2 and the (1+2) implies that you must multiply them together before doing anything else. Others believe that the "x" is implied when left out. I'd be interested to see a reputable source on the right way to do it, all I could find was different people's answers on other forums. And this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.spikedmath.com%2Fcomics%2F415-dear-internet.png&hash=69eaec750f28aa90fbb17c2102a5cf2d17d5e79b)
Quote from: ثنائية بين الجنسين on September 30, 2013, 07:15:20 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.spikedmath.com%2Fcomics%2F415-dear-internet.png&hash=69eaec750f28aa90fbb17c2102a5cf2d17d5e79b)
Yay I'm smarticle and knew the answer and that. ^.^
I honestly don't see how people get 1. I don't want to see either lol.
I may hang out with my cousin Saturday and go to a rugby game. Afterwards we may go out for a drink but I don't know. I really don't need to be spending money.
Given the choice between brains and brawn, I would MUCH rather have brawn if I couldn't have both. I don't have much of brains and I certainly don't have any brawn.
Wondering how I could pull off an Albert Wesker cosplay.
Quote from: Ксениа on September 30, 2013, 05:08:13 PM
6÷2(1+2) = ????
Step 1: (1+2) = 3 (Do it first because it's a parenthetical)
Step 2: 6÷2 = 3 (Always go from left to right)
Step 3: 3*3 = 9 (Putting a parenthetical section directly adjacent to another section means multiplication; and we are again going left to right)
The answer is 9. Trust me, I won a State Math Championship in my younger years. Remember, it's not Multiplication THEN Division, it's Multiplication AND Division.
Hm, then it would appear that what I learned in school was wrong. Because if you had, say, 6 / 2x, you would always multiply 2 by the value of x first. My tests were always marked correctly when I did it that way.
Already had to take three calls from work and even go up there for two of them. I can't wait til this new girl gets things straight. I will say that the last time wasn't really her fault, that was just bad luck to happen on her shift. Both me and the manager went up there for that one. Manager was already in her jammies too, lol.
Quote from: caleb. on September 30, 2013, 08:22:57 PM
Hm, then it would appear that what I learned in school was wrong. Because if you had, say, 6 / 2x, you would always multiply 2 by the value of x first. My tests were always marked correctly when I did it that way.
It is correct to do it that way IF the question is posed as a fraction with 6 as the numerator and 2x as the denominator because you solve the top separately from the bottom and then divide but in the form that the original question is posted, you don't look at it as the part left of the division symbol as the numerator and the part right of the division symbol as the denominator
6÷2(1+2) = 9
6÷2(3) = x
6÷2 = 3 and then 3 x 3 = 9
PEMDAS
I found this just now. Apparently, I'm not alone in discovering myself this way:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F24.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_mb1hasEstx1r39rqto1_500.gif&hash=c4f8f0ad612abc3dbbdc6b2433e0c037f67ce72a)
Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened. Except I had no girl clothes to wear, so I just cried in the corner...
Quote from: Joules on September 30, 2013, 10:36:20 PM
From the confusion over this question, it seems clear that the mathematical phrasing is ambiguous. Some see it one way, some see it the other.
The decent solution would be to phrase the equation in a less ambiguous manner with the use of additional parentheses.
I found it on the internet the same say I posted it
Quote from: Malachite on September 30, 2013, 07:57:08 PM
I honestly don't see how people get 1. I don't want to see either lol.
They're multiplying the 2 with the parenthesis number first, and then dividing 6 by 6.
It's WRONG!!!! > : O
znam.. I know. A VERY common mistake actually
Quote from: Joules on September 30, 2013, 10:54:55 PM
Well, we all know that anything posted on the internet is always perfectly correct, and should be considered the final authority on any matter...
But with math, a 5 year old can write a problem, but that doesnt mean that every person can solve it
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on September 30, 2013, 10:44:07 PM
They're multiplying the 2 with the parenthesis number first, and then dividing 6 by 6.
It's WRONG!!!! > : O
Noooo don't confuse me with the wrong answer lol.
It's 9 because I said so.
When Malachite says it, you believe it. That settles it.
I'm thinking about pregnant people running, after you mentioned your sister Malachite, lulz. It reminded me of Sims 3 where if you have heavily pregnant sims they just run around like it's nothing. :o Also when my dog was heavily pregnant, she was fracking huge (and a chihuahua, lawl) it was like she fricken swallowed a melon, and she STILL ran around like she wasn't even preggers. >.<
I'm thinking of getting horizontal so I can work well tomorrow...i mean today
Me too! g'night all! HUG
That I really, really need sleep. And that life can be almost unbearably draining sometimes. :-\
nice, the healthcare.gov site has already crashed this morning. And it also looks like it actually has a "hold" feature before it gave me the site down message. Leave it to the government...
Quote from: something or other... on October 01, 2013, 08:48:34 AM
nice, the healthcare.gov site has already crashed this morning. And it also looks like it actually has a "hold" feature before it gave me the site down message. Leave it to the government...
Yeah, "Hi I'm from the government and I'm here to help
myself er-Oops! I mean you!"
I am sick of this government shut-down crap, what on earth are these people in office for? Well, I know who I am NOT voting for next election. . .
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 01, 2013, 09:27:17 AM
I am sick of this government shut-down crap, what on earth are these people in office for? Well, I know who I am NOT voting for next election. . .
Think of the positives, they won't be able to get into any mischief for awhile! Besides aren't you sick and tired of the continual onslaught of threats and intimidation focused at the voting public? When they come back we should fire them all! ;D
Quote from: Shantel on October 01, 2013, 10:20:29 AM
Think of the positives, they won't be able to get into any mischief for awhile! Besides aren't you sick and tired of the continual onslaught of threats and intimidation focused at the voting public? When they come back we should fire them all! ;D
Vote Auntie Shan 2016! ;D
I just watched What Does the Fox Say. ....What the .//hack did I just watch?
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 01, 2013, 10:24:04 AM
Vote Auntie Shan 2016! ;D
I'll run on a plank that goes: Free top jobs for all the guys and boob implants for challenged girls, I'm sure to win with Susan's people as my constituency! But I'll want to work out of my place here in the Unicorn Forest. :D ;D :laugh:
About my lipo consultation today, I hate my love handles they have to go! Worked my a-s off and everything else is great but they refuse to go away. Grrrrr! >:-)
I'm gaining weight. Not cool. :(
Quote from: Darkie on October 01, 2013, 11:46:04 AM
I'm gaining weight. Not cool. :(
What is it, chocolate?
Quote from: Shantel on October 01, 2013, 11:51:52 AM
What is it, chocolate?
When one is poor, one eats as much as they can when they can. And I no longer have a job that has me on my feet all day.
Quote from: Darkie on October 01, 2013, 11:53:00 AM
When one is poor, one eats as much as they can when they can. And I no longer have a job that has me on my feet all day.
Time to start your own home exercise regimen and be watchful of what goes between our teeth, you don't have to become fat hon.
My spouse and I do crunches religiously and other than her girly muffin top and my awful love handles it has helped create some really nice definition and it didn't cost a gym membership.
Quote from: Shantel on October 01, 2013, 11:57:35 AM
Time to start your own home exercise regimen and be watchful of what goes between our teeth, you don't have to become fat hon.
My spouse and I do crunches religiously and other than her girly muffin top and my awful love handles it has helped create some really nice definition and it didn't cost a gym membership.
Turns out, as I just found out 5 minutes ago, my weight is linked to my psychotic episodes all of last week. And my stomach aches, that turn out to not be stomach aches, along with my fevers. Hurray for that time of the month! >> *shakes fist at mother nature*
Quote from: Shantel on October 01, 2013, 11:17:23 AM
About my lipo consultation today, I hate my love handles they have to go! Worked my a-s off and everything else is great but they refuse to go away. Grrrrr! >:-)
I hope your consultation goes well, love handles are do hard to get rid of.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 01, 2013, 12:15:01 PM
I hope your consultation goes well, love handles are do hard to get rid of.
Thanks!
Especially when they have been there for years and years. It becomes what they call hard yellow fat like what gets stuck firmly down to a side of beef, not pretty I want it gone! In spite of the fact that this old bod will some day be a little heap of ashes that gets scattered in the Pacific I want to look nice while I'm here. :D ;D :laugh:
Today 's been Damn weird.
Ok, let's start with the morning. Nearly had a heart attack upon seeing my bank account after waking up and ran in guy mode to fix it. No make up, unshaven, etc (At least I put a bra)... Kinda ok about it. With the heatwave, I don't like to waste good girl's clothing sweating all the time.
Anyways, I have the meeting for the Napo Consortium ready (Napo (http://www.napofilm.net/en) is a mascot shared between several safety at work organisations), and the videoconference system up and running, when the phone starts ringing, and I am greeted by a weird mixture of english and italian. I can understand them, but they can't do the same... They are asking for Jorge. After that they as for Jordi, Giorgio... "Madam, we would like to talk with Jorge or XXXXX, the support technicians." And I was like..... WTF? "I'm Jorge, the helpdesk tech". I was close to saying "I'm a guy", but that was pretty much impossible (My legal name is in the conferencing documents). I was not exactly happy, and more like perplexed. I was not trying to do something with my voice. I was talking as usual, and particularly sore and in need of water.
I want to be happy about it, but every time something like this happens I blame the "mishap" in other thing. It's true that I have little resonance left and I am slightly higher in pitch than a normal male, but little else.
And well, for seconds... While going home I came across a guy that looked exactly like Mr Proper... Mr Proper in a stretch top and a mini pencil skirt. My first thought: [i["Mmmm.... A more open skirt would fit him/her much better... But damn, I want that skirt"[/i]
Thinking "that spaghetti isn't going to cook itself"
I'll be back shortly!
There is such a thing as too much Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
Asked my dad if he called about the nutrition and weight classes the VA had to offer for the family and he said with the government shutdown, he doesn't know if they would be closed. I wonder that too.
I am always amazed at how many truly good people are on this site. I really wish the world was more like us.
I still have no clue how in the world no one has asked me if I am transgender at work. I am passing just fine and I shouldnt look a gift horse in the mouth, but I think I look like crap. I have this facial hair that I want so badly to take care of, I've never worked on my voice and ... well, okay, my arms do look smaller. I've waited so long for this animosity and now that I have it, it's surreal. Like experienceing my own personal episode of quantum leap. And it has hit me that when I chat with the women I work with, I can't fit in because I didnt have a lot of the same experiences. And I think I have that taken care of, as far as explaining why I am the way I am thanks to my Army Brat status.
but honestly, I feel like I am back to square one because I am pre-op. Now I am back to keeping this secret because if anyone finds out I was born male bodied.... you get the picture. Being trans just wears me out mentally and emotionally.
and I miss Caleb.
Quote from: Keaira Raine on October 01, 2013, 10:29:52 PM
I still have no clue how in the world no one has asked me if I am transgender at work. I am passing just fine and I shouldnt look a gift horse in the mouth, but I think I look like crap. I have this facial hair that I want so badly to take care of, I've never worked on my voice and ... well, okay, my arms do look smaller. I've waited so long for this animosity and now that I have it, it's surreal. Like experienceing my own personal episode of quantum leap. And it has hit me that when I chat with the women I work with, I can't fit in because I didnt have a lot of the same experiences. And I think I have that taken care of, as far as explaining why I am the way I am thanks to my Army Brat status.
but honestly, I feel like I am back to square one because I am pre-op. Now I am back to keeping this secret because if anyone finds out I was born male bodied.... you get the picture. Being trans just wears me out mentally and emotionally.
and I miss Caleb.
Was thinking about you this AM before I got up for the day and was wondering how it's going for you. Must be nice to be back in paycheck land again though in spite of all else huh?
Quote from: Keaira Raine on October 01, 2013, 10:29:52 PM
I still have no clue how in the world no one has asked me if I am transgender at work. I am passing just fine and I shouldnt look a gift horse in the mouth, but I think I look like crap. I have this facial hair that I want so badly to take care of, I've never worked on my voice and ... well, okay, my arms do look smaller. I've waited so long for this animosity and now that I have it, it's surreal. Like experienceing my own personal episode of quantum leap. And it has hit me that when I chat with the women I work with, I can't fit in because I didnt have a lot of the same experiences. And I think I have that taken care of, as far as explaining why I am the way I am thanks to my Army Brat status.
but honestly, I feel like I am back to square one because I am pre-op. Now I am back to keeping this secret because if anyone finds out I was born male bodied.... you get the picture. Being trans just wears me out mentally and emotionally.
and I miss Caleb.
There's a lot of diversity amongst women as well. It may not seem that way with the women at work talking about particular things, i.e. motherhood. Chances are there a lot of women who would enter those conversations and think "WTF? Why are we talking about this? Whaaat?" Lol. I mean, I can tell you a few profs hands down who would think talking about the stuff the women at your job do is weird.
And I miss you too. :( I was thinking about it last night actually. I hate that I can't just come down and see you whenever. Like spontaneously.
Oh my, I just got hit on. I hope I am not dressed too provocatively for this interview.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 02, 2013, 09:36:21 AM
Oh my, I just got hit on. I hope I am not dressed too provocatively for this interview.
Good luck with your interview, man.
I'm thinking about the guy I just met. I can tell I'm a criminal justice graduate because when I walked up to his truck, I didn't stand directly in from of his side window in case he had a gun. When he was reaching his hand down I got nervous and strted to anticipate it was a gun but he was actually getting change lol.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 02, 2013, 09:36:21 AM
Oh my, I just got hit on. I hope I am not dressed too provocatively for this interview.
Lol, not too surprising, guess you're stuck with a certain cuteness quotient. Aside from that good luck with the interview Henry, let's hear how it went!
Thanks! I got the job at the clinic, it's at a courthouse helping indigent people with guardianship petitions. I'll be starting tomorrow morning. I still have my job that pays at the firm, but it's good to get in the habit of doing pro bono work.
Quote from: Malachite on October 02, 2013, 09:49:29 AM
Good luck with your interview, man.
I'm thinking about the guy I just met. I can tell I'm a criminal justice graduate because when I walked up to his truck, I didn't stand directly in from of his side window in case he had a gun. When he was reaching his hand down I got nervous and strted to anticipate it was a gun but he was actually getting change lol.
Reminds me of one of the final scenes in the movie "Crash". Don't get too paranoid (and watch that movie if you've never seen it).
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 02, 2013, 11:05:29 AM
Thanks! I got the job at the clinic, it's at a courthouse helping indigent people with guardianship petitions. I'll be starting tomorrow morning. I still have my job that pays at the firm, but it's good to get in the habit of doing pro bono work.
Good for you, it always enhances the resume as well as the psychic pay back of good personal feelings about ones own self!
Why the heck international mail stuff has to be so damn complicated.
Man! I feel like a woman. :) Really I do! That is what I am thinking.
I'm thinking I wish Kasihyna would teach me Cyrillic!
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 02, 2013, 12:19:11 PM
I'm thinking I wish Kasihyna would teach me Cyrillic!
I would love to. I know Serbian and in Serbian, we use dual alphabets. It can get confusing as obe letter looks like one letter in one alphabet, but that can also look like a letter from the other one which has a different sound. We have a Latin based as well as Cyrillic based Alphabet. I am still learning, I have only been studying for like 16ish months.
Right now what I am thinking is that I am very happy from the response I got from my father after I showed him a picture of me all dressed up for the first time. I showed him the same one that I currently have for my profile picture.
You are gorgeous girl. Wish I looked just a thousandth as good as you! When I look in the mirror I see every boogy man from every scary movie I have ever seen. Mind if I PM you about the language thing?
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 02, 2013, 01:44:05 PM
You are gorgeous girl. Wish I looked just a thousandth as good as you! When I look in the mirror I see every boogy man from every scary movie I have ever seen. Mind if I PM you about the language thing?
Sure, don't need to ask to PM me. I always open to talking to new people. :) Also, you are very sweet!
I'm thinking I'm in rather a grouchy mood today and I don't know why.
Do you ever have times where something annoys you for no apparent reason? There's absolutely no logic to it, and no immediately apparent reason why you should be annoyed. But you are, and the more you think about it, the more it annoys you?
Ehh, I don't know what to attribute it to. I think I need a hot bath. With bubbles. And candles.
Sounds like a plan Sephirah! Just blame your mood on cosmic rays or something.
Lol, I usually do, hon. Or the planetary alignment or something. I dunno. I'm a creature of emotion. That can be both a blessing and a curse.
*hugs*
So, estrogen tastes like candy. What does testosterone taste like? Is it beef? I bet it's beef. Any FtM folks want to let me know?
Sephira, were girls baby, emotions are our big bag of chocolate. Oh, the burdens we carry! ;D
Quote from: Kristal on October 02, 2013, 06:57:36 PM
So, estrogen tastes like candy. What does testosterone taste like? Is it beef? I bet it's beef. Any FtM folks want to let me know?
Why, frogs and snails and puppy dog tails of course.
Seriously though, I haven't heard of anyone ingesting testosterone. I know its possible, but not usually recommended for its effects on the liver. Most go for injections
Quote from: Kristal on October 02, 2013, 06:57:36 PM
So, estrogen tastes like candy. What does testosterone taste like? Is it beef? I bet it's beef. Any FtM folks want to let me know?
I bet it tastes like Powerthirst.
Everyone knows it tastes like snakes and snails and puppy dog tails! ;D
Quote from: Kristal on October 02, 2013, 06:57:36 PM
So, estrogen tastes like candy. What does testosterone taste like? Is it beef? I bet it's beef. Any FtM folks want to let me know?
Bacon.
If there was bacon in heaven, everyone who ever had a near-death experience would report smelling it. Case closed.
You ok, hon?
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 02, 2013, 07:38:03 PM
If there was bacon in heaven, everyone who ever had a near-death experience would report smelling it. Case closed.
You ok, hon?
lol. Yeah I'm great. Wow, I didn't even think about how a question about Heaven could be taken like that.
Been doing some reps with some 3 pound dumb bells while sitting in the bed. I can feel the burn.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 02, 2013, 07:38:03 PM
If there was bacon in heaven, everyone who ever had a near-death experience would report smelling it. Case closed.
You ok, hon?
But isn't it that most people that have a near-death experience kind of want to go back? What if there is the most amazing kind of bacon in heaven that no human can hope to explain, express or understand unless they themselves were there? IMAGINE. HEAVEN BACON.
Quote from: Darkie on October 02, 2013, 07:52:19 PM
But isn't it that most people that have a near-death experience kind of want to go back? What if there is the most amazing kind of bacon in heaven that no human can hope to explain, express or understand unless they themselves were there? IMAGINE. HEAVEN BACON.
I believe in God and in Heaven. I also believe that near-death experiences are pretty thoroughly explained by science and have no connection to the spiritual world. The bacon is in your head!!!
Quote from: <3 on October 02, 2013, 07:56:21 PM
I believe in God and in Heaven. I also believe that near-death experiences are pretty thoroughly explained by science and have no connection to the spiritual world. The bacon is in your head!!!
Doesn't everyone dream of the perfect bacon?
Quote from: Darkie on October 02, 2013, 07:58:48 PM
Doesn't everyone dream of the perfect bacon?
I usually have dulled senses in my dreams. Except for once. I was french kissing my brother's girlfriend underwater...
Quote from: <3 on October 02, 2013, 08:00:31 PM
I usually have dulled senses in my dreams. Except for once. I was french kissing my brother's girlfriend underwater...
...Was it at least good french kissing?
Quote from: Darkie on October 02, 2013, 08:10:53 PM
...Was it at least good french kissing?
Well at the time, I had never actually kissed anyone before, so I'm not sure how I imagined how it would feel...but I did and it was surprisingly accurate and yes it was probably one of the best kisses I've experienced sadly.
Fantasizing about being a ripped famous MMA fighter that has a specialty in ground in pound and a weakness in submission skills and that My focus fighting techniques represent Sambo, BJJ, and Boxing.
Strong manly man, YEAH! I'm the genetic mutant! YEAH! Check out these muscles! I'm the most dangerous man in fighting history with one-punch knockout. I'm a modern day gladiator. Hear me roar! I'm a big strong manly man and a tough guy. YEAH! I'm rich and have a beautiful wife and I live near the beach in Californa and when I go to anime expo, I cosplay as myself. I'm genetically jacked. YEAH!
*fantasy cap off*
Well that was fun while it lasted.
Quote from: Shantel on October 02, 2013, 08:08:22 AM
Was thinking about you this AM before I got up for the day and was wondering how it's going for you. Must be nice to be back in paycheck land again though in spite of all else huh?
The only saving grace of this job is that I get most weekends off. I'm supposed to be done by 3pm and I have never gotten out before 5pm. My feet hurt so much that I am constantly on 600mg ibuprofen just to be able to keep walking, and I have to be up at 4:30 am and I'm averaging 4 hrs of sleep a day. When I get my settlement from the eeoc case, im buying a house outright, filing for disability and taking a part time job. My bad leg hurts enough as it is without all this other pain.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 02, 2013, 07:28:15 PM
Bacon.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fvsog-pullzone.vastseaofgames.netdna-cdn.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F09%2FM-Bison-Of-course.gif&hash=7bbd0c4c1cc3eb48e7fecf0e215835ce88905c88)
In other news, I was poking around the FtM "You look badass" thread, and Holy Hades... Those guys are more manly than I have ever been. It really puts it into perspective, you know? I mean, with a little effort I can look as feminine as they look masculine, and so can you! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go shave. (ugh) What I need to do is SAVE. Save money for laser, that is. SO EXPENSIVE.
I can feel the soreness in my arm muscles, especially the right one.
I think I was called ma'am. I don't know though, she said it so quietly...gah. -_- But then I think, at this point, no way?
I shaved this morning, still angry at my crazy beard shadow. But my brother saw me coming out of the bathroom and said "You look like a guuuurl." I made a goofy face at him and gave him a thumbs up. He doesn't know I'm trans yet, so it's kind of a compliment, sort of?
Quote from: Keaira Raine on October 02, 2013, 09:33:23 PM
The only saving grace of this job is that I get most weekends off. I'm supposed to be done by 3pm and I have never gotten out before 5pm. My feet hurt so much that I am constantly on 600mg ibuprofen just to be able to keep walking, and I have to be up at 4:30 am and I'm averaging 4 hrs of sleep a day. When I get my settlement from the eeoc case, im buying a house outright, filing for disability and taking a part time job. My bad leg hurts enough as it is without all this other pain.
Hmmm this sounds like the old me in my last job just before I got terminated for telling a particularly obnoxious individual that I was about to shove a door and window up his a**. The company didn't think it reflected their idea of customer service, no sense of humor I guess. But leg and foot pain can turn anyone into a tiger.
I wonder if anyone else gets suspicious of people who claim to be "weird" or "different." Aside from the fact that everyone claims the same thing, most of the people I've met who claim that have a tendency to lie. Constantly. Plus, they eventually try to treat me as inferior which I simply don't stand for.
(Oh and I know I sound like a hypocrite since I also claim to be different and people think I'm lying same as everyone else. They tend to get hostile when they find out I was telling the truth. Not that anyone ever believes me. After all, who would actually believe a freak who tells the truth over a more charismatic liar?)
Quote from: Kristal on October 03, 2013, 06:22:31 AM
I shaved this morning, still angry at my crazy beard shadow. But my brother saw me coming out of the bathroom and said "You look like a guuuurl." I made a goofy face at him and gave him a thumbs up. He doesn't know I'm trans yet, so it's kind of a compliment, sort of?
Depends if your bro is a nice guy or not. If he knew you were trans would he still tell you you look like a girl? Or would he tell you you look like a boy because that would be the new way to upset you about your appearance?
Quote from: Darkie on October 02, 2013, 07:58:48 PM
Doesn't everyone dream of the perfect bacon?
I found the secret to perfect bacon! It has to have at least 50% meat on it and actually be baked in an oven on a broiler pan with a rack so that it doesn't sit in it's grease and it shouldn't be turned while baking.
Quote from: Liam Erik on October 03, 2013, 11:19:29 AMI'm going to sound like a hypocrite too 8) I also get the mental eye roll and the 'oh... really.' Some people (some liars) make a routine out of 'I'm weird! I'm a criminal! I'm unpredictable! I'm a psychopath! Please pay attention to me!' Second, when I was in school a huge number of people, virtually everyone I think, claimed to be totally weird or freaky for perfectly mundane reasons, which got old after a while. Third, I think of times in conversation when people have shared something a little south of mainstream and covered with a self-deprecating, 'I know, I'm a freak,' while I'm there thinking... I'm sitting about ten miles south-er than you, pal.
Yeah! You get what I'm talking about. Or there are the people (who, as far as I know, have not ever been in the mental health system) who claim to be "crazy" and make it out to be a good thing. Then they don't understand why someone who spent high school in and out of psych wards might find that offensive.
It's weird that every time people misgender me or like my mum refers to me as her little girl or things like that, I get a bout of dysphoria. Yet when my brothers calls me 'zussie' a affectionate term for sister and one of the nicknames he uses for me I don't care. I just don't, I like it and it's feels normal. Strange...
Trying to not be grumpy
Quote from: Darkie on October 02, 2013, 07:58:48 PM
Doesn't everyone dream of the perfect bacon?
it.
No. . . unless facon counts.
I just bought a salad at Panera without realizing there was bacon in it and had to pick it all out.
I do eat bacon occasionally, but i mainly try to avoid it.
I was looking up videos online and found this from when I was in high school. I used to play this clip over and over on the VHS tape I had of recorded shows. Even 10 years later, it filled my heart with hope and almost brought tears to my eyes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYUM7h4SVsA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYUM7h4SVsA)
Anime really did save my life.
I was trying to write a construcive review for a fanfic of someones but mother came in with food and I had to cut up A LOT of celery that took me about two hours and my laptop seems to die quicker and shuts down with no battery warning anymore....wtf.
I don't even feel like finishing the review but I am going to do so. They posted their first chapter on the same day I did mine (actually I posted after them without knowing) but it's my favorite yuri pairing which is hard to find stories with them in it anymore. It is my duty to review because as a writer myself, I know that the reviews I get from my fans keep me going. I just hope they don't take the criticism too harshly since I'm only trying to help.
Reading about bacon has made me hungry. Why hasn't anyone invented a bacon-wrapped-hot-dog corn dog. I think I can make a lot of money with that idea. Nobody steal it! Please. :-*
I need to stop reading the comments on news articles about trans people. The ignorant transphobia doesn't upset me as much as the angry HBSers going off anytime someone mentions the word "transgender".
I know this is going to upset some people, but I really don't like bacon. I don't like pork in general, really. I'm more of a poultry kind of girl.
No worries Kristal. I don't like bacon either and find the smell of pork cooking to be nauseating. In fact, I was in my forties before I found out that people think KFC has an appetizing smell, to me, it is worse than the paper mills. To each their own.
Quote from: Malachite on October 03, 2013, 06:56:14 PM
I was trying to write a construcive review for a fanfic of someones but mother came in with food and I had to cut up A LOT of celery that took me about two hours and my laptop seems to die quicker and shuts down with no battery warning anymore....wtf.
I don't even feel like finishing the review but I am going to do so. They posted their first chapter on the same day I did mine (actually I posted after them without knowing) but it's my favorite yuri pairing which is hard to find stories with them in it anymore. It is my duty to review because as a writer myself, I know that the reviews I get from my fans keep me going. I just hope they don't take the criticism too harshly since I'm only trying to help.
What's your favorite pairing?
Quote from: Red Leicester on October 03, 2013, 08:18:30 PM
Reading about bacon has made me hungry. Why hasn't anyone invented a bacon-wrapped-hot-dog corn dog. I think I can make a lot of money with that idea. Nobody steal it! Please. :-*
I live in Iowa. I guarantee that someone here has thought of that.
Quote from: Darkie on October 03, 2013, 09:10:21 PM
What's your favorite pairing?
Haruka x Michiru is my number one pairing. I just love them!
Quote from: LordKAT on October 03, 2013, 08:53:54 PM
No worries Kristal. I don't like bacon either and find the smell of pork cooking to be nauseating. In fact, I was in my forties before I found out that people think KFC has an appetizing smell, to me, it is worse than the paper mills. To each their own.
Fun fact! Cooking pork smells exactly like cooking human. And I do mean EXACTLY.
I have a strange definition of the word fun...
Quote from: Kristal on October 03, 2013, 09:29:36 PM
Fun fact! Cooking pork smells exactly like cooking human. And I do mean EXACTLY.
I have a strange definition of the word fun...
I could go for some human bacon. As long as no humans were harmed solely for the purpose of consumption and it went along with the wishes of the person being consumed.
Trying to explore some GTA V online when some dude hops in my car....some little boy on the mic....I'm a bit annoyed. Now I'm riding on a motorcycle with him....
Quote from: Malachite on October 03, 2013, 09:16:19 PM
Haruka x Michiru is my number one pairing. I just love them!
All of my yes! They are my favorite Yuri pairing. Yukito and Toya are my favorite yaoi pairing.
H X M is a great pairing! When it comes to yaoi there isn't many pairings I don't like in the DBZ and Yugioh fandom.
I like the old hershey's cookies and cream wrappers much better.
I made a vlog for myself, and I noticed when I get into "theory mode" I use waaaay more feminine voice cues. And it offsets a lot of my voice deepening from T. I can see some people reading it as a female voice, especially when I am say, teaching because again I use my "theory mode" voice.
So yeah. I need to do some work on it. Problem is, I don't know where to start. I get less forceful in my speech when I am "thinking", because I am posing questions - so I have that "questioning" inflection that is associated with women's voices. That would probably be the best place to start. I could do that in my classes by preparing far enough in advance that I say things as if they are being asked more authoritatively. Chances are that would solve the lack of monotone too, because I only really raise my voice when I am questioning.
And those goddamn S's.
Quote from: Malachite on October 03, 2013, 09:55:13 PM
Trying to explore some GTA V online when some dude hops in my car....some little boy on the mic....I'm a bit annoyed. Now I'm riding on a motorcycle with him....
Can't you report him through the system for being underage for the game? Or gun him down in cold blood?
Quote from: alexjrogers on October 04, 2013, 04:53:02 AM
Can't you report him through the system for being underage for the game? Or gun him down in cold blood?
I can't report him for being underage. I thought about gunning him down but we decided to rob a few stores, only I died so many times. I hate how most players are trying to kill me when I'm just walking lol.
Quote from: Malachite on October 04, 2013, 05:34:39 AM
I thought about gunning him down but we decided to rob a few stores
I totally read that first and was like, "Wait a minute........" >.<
I'll stick to Saints Row, its like GTA but without the big serious stick up its ass.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 04, 2013, 05:41:03 AM
I totally read that first and was like, "Wait a minute........" >.<
8) Yeah because that's how I roll, Trista. Gunning down fools and robbing stores is my specialty....or at least it will be when I quit getting shot up all the time with half my money lost.
Quote from: caleb. on October 04, 2013, 01:25:18 AM
I made a vlog for myself, and I noticed when I get into "theory mode" I use waaaay more feminine voice cues. And it offsets a lot of my voice deepening from T. I can see some people reading it as a female voice, especially when I am say, teaching because again I use my "theory mode" voice.
So yeah. I need to do some work on it. Problem is, I don't know where to start. I get less forceful in my speech when I am "thinking", because I am posing questions - so I have that "questioning" inflection that is associated with women's voices. That would probably be the best place to start. I could do that in my classes by preparing far enough in advance that I say things as if they are being asked more authoritatively. Chances are that would solve the lack of monotone too, because I only really raise my voice when I am questioning.
And those goddamn S's.
So many cis women speak from high in their throat rather than from their chest or diaphragm and with every sentence having a question mark at the end of it. If you can avoid that tendency then the rest should fall into place. You might even pose a question in the same manner as if it was a fact, try it and see how that works for you. Another thing is that those high squeeky voices that I'm referring to are sometimes even put on as if they are trying to emulate Kim K whom I loathe and so I find it extremely irritating on a personal level. :icon_ballbounce:
Quote from: Darkie on October 03, 2013, 09:11:12 PM
I live in Iowa. I guarantee that someone here has thought of that.
Oh no! My chance at being a billionaire has gone right down the drain.
Quote from: Shantel on October 04, 2013, 09:06:47 AM
So many cis women speak from high in their throat rather than from their chest or diaphragm and with every sentence having a question mark at the end of it. If you can avoid that tendency then the rest should fall into place. You might even pose a question in the same manner as if it was a fact, try it and see how that works for you. Another thing is that those high squeeky voices that I'm referring to are sometimes even put on as if they are trying to emulate Kim K whom I loathe and so I find it extremely irritating on a personal level. :icon_ballbounce:
I think I will. The good news is that for me, it just requires being a bit more selective in what I share academically. I'm used to sort of diving into discussions unprepared and tossing around ideas (hence, the tendency to sound questioning - not that I am lacking confidence in my knowledge, I just pose questions to keep the topic going). So I think if I just prepare some things and keep them in mind, I can limit the "questioning" sounds.
My room looks like a tornado went through it...minus the damaged walls and furniture. -_- I set a 5 minute timer and just forced myself to clear out as much of a large area as possible in the 5 minute time frame. Worked well enough but there's probably going to be a few more installments of 5 minute speed cleanings. My short attention span is starting to worry me. When I was young, I could concentrate on anything for hours - even the most rote, mundane things imaginable. I just got sucked in. Now, it's all I can do to stay focussed long enough to even brush my teeth.
Step 1. Collect underpants.*
Step 2. ?
Step 3. PROFIT.
*Step 1a. Find the harmonica
The gnomes do it? I always blamed the brownies and the dryer for my missing socks, maybe there are sock gnomes too.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 04, 2013, 05:15:55 PM
I have looked all over this apartment and I still can't find it. How do you lose something that you never take out the apartment? And HOW can you not find it when you have looked all over the place? Even in places that you KNOW it isn't going to be in just to make sure?
AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!
Get a desk fan, run it all over your apartment. With any luck the movement of air will cause the harmonica to make a noise. ;D
Either that or wait a few days, offer up a prayer to the "Sprites of Serendipity", and watch as it turns up when you're right in the middle of looking for something else.
Quote from: Joules on October 04, 2013, 05:54:34 AM
The curious thing is...
How do you know what cooking human flesh smells like? Did you operate a crematory furnace at one time? (Which I did btw, for a summer job once, except I only burned animals...IKR gross)
There was a fire in the galley of the boat I served on. One of the CSs was caught in the blaze. It smelled like pork in there for weeks...
Hi friends :police:
The talk of what burning flesh smells like may be triggering to some individuals, particularly to those who have served in war zones and would rather not discuss it
Let's please move on to lighter subject material
Thank you
V M
I should put a shirt on. It's getting cold.
I was thinking about how before T, I wasn't really...excited for body hair lol. I knew I'd be hairy. And I am. But the funny thing is, I feel very content about it. It feels natural and right. Even when I think "god, if I ever decide to manscape this is going to be a b*"
I've also come to wonder about radfems. I find that they describe rape *very* graphically. They use really brutal language. One could argue, I suppose, that they are trying to avoid "sugarcoating" it. But I find it kind of dehumanizing to the victim they are describing and...well just in such poor taste. Rape is a slap in the face to humanity, one would think that those who claim to love women the most would be more conscientious of their word choices.
I am thinking about not eating meat from factories anymore, and only eating what killed by someone I know.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 05, 2013, 09:24:51 AM
I am thinking about not eating meat from factories anymore, and only eating what killed by someone I know.
That reminded me of this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F7JzxW.jpg&hash=bbe5089880d3913d2494d548ffd31a243159f4d9)
Do some folks mistake this for the 'Bad Jokes' topic?
No cross posting please
Quote from: V M on October 05, 2013, 09:41:46 AM
Do some folks mistake this for the 'Bad Jokes' topic?
No cross posting please
Sorry, I thought it was an appropriate response to the post in here. Would a link to the post in the Bad Jokes thread have been more appropriate?
Sounds like an idea
Haha I thought it was funny <3
I should be doing homework but I really don't have the drive for it. No husband for 10 hours and I'm just sitting here being lazy in my pajamas.
I'm sore from sitting and too bored to go for a walk, TV is drab and my concentration isn't holding up to my usual games or books. I need a life.
Quote from: Darkie on October 05, 2013, 10:29:22 AM
I should be doing homework but I really don't have the drive for it. No husband for 10 hours and I'm just sitting here being lazy in my pajamas.
Me too, sometimes we do that because we can!
Quote from: Shantel on October 05, 2013, 10:54:09 AM
Me too, sometimes we do that because we can!
I should probably work on some doll clothes in case my friend does end up getting a table at the doll show coming up. We collect Ball Jointed Dolls and I was going to make clothes for the dolls to sell.
Quote from: Darkie on October 05, 2013, 10:57:37 AM
I should probably work on some doll clothes in case my friend does end up getting a table at the doll show coming up. We collect Ball Jointed Dolls and I was going to make clothes for the dolls to sell.
Sounds like a good home project to take on, especially if the weather is crappy.
Cleaning up my sewing room because it literally looks like the site of a tornado. Good lord I have so much crap. Most of it is things for crafts I want to do but have too much fear of failure so it all sits unused.
Quote from: Darkie on October 05, 2013, 12:30:49 PM
Cleaning up my sewing room because it literally looks like the site of a tornado. Good lord I have so much crap. Most of it is things for crafts I want to do but have too much fear of failure so it all sits unused.
My life lol. My room had no visible floor space yesterday. I just took everything out and I am bringing it in one by one, or throwing it away.
Sometimes I fear I may be getting jaded. I find myself often thinking lots and saying nothing. Sometimes self restraint is... hard. But necessary.
I don't know. People are often fascinating, beautiful, and infuriating in equal measure.
I think I just need to find my happy place again.
*takes a deep breath and counts to ten*
We all do, hon. It is not easy.
I'm getting more and more to where I just don't give a damn about what I say or to who I say it. I still won't be mean, but screw so many damned filters.
that thread actually prompted me to see if there was an archived obit for my mother online and oddly enough there was, even a pic of the headstone and it was in '82, so a ways before there was an internet. Wonder who goes around taking pics of headstones and such, finding the original obit and posting it online?
And it kind of makes me wonder why beloved wife and mother is even on her stone considering her past history with walking away from her kids and all...
I need to own a gun.
Quote from: Malachite on October 05, 2013, 07:37:41 PM
No good reason. I just want to have one.
We have a gun in the house now. I DO NOT like it. Not one bit.
Quote from: Darkie on October 05, 2013, 07:41:20 PM
We have a gun in the house now. I DO NOT like it. Not one bit.
My father had a gun in our house when he was here. I loved looking at it and holding it. I handled some guns and rifles when I was interning at the sheriff's department and they just looked so beautiful and I felt right holding them, especially the revolvers.
Now that I posted the picture of Yukito and Toya hugging in the Hug Bank thread, I'm stuck looking up pictures of my favorite tv show couple of all time. I love them more than Sailor Uranus and Neptune.
Gun? Not in my house.
About to play Resident evil 6 demo, but I'll probably die a lot since it will take a while to adjust to the controllers since playing GTA V but I need some solid co-op tonight. Hopefully the lobby will be full of good players. I'll probably hit up the Jake and Sherry campaign.
EDIT: Just didn't have it in my to play so now I'm letting the Beyond Two Souls demo download.
Now I'm thinking that my middle name will be "Endymion" or have Endymion in it based off of the character from Sailor Moon. In a way, I feel like I am him and I do feel like a king, even though I'm in jester's clothings. It would be awesome if the future girlfriend would call me Mamo-chan. Am I living in fantasy land? Perhaps. Do I care of it's ultimately destructive or bad for me to do that? Nope
I wonder if anyone actually likes eccentric people or if they just say that because they think it makes them sound cool.
Real eccentric people I mean, not fictional eccentric people.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 05, 2013, 08:44:42 PM
Gun? Not in my house.
SO works at a gun shop so he got one to protect himself when he has to leave late.
Quote from: Malachite on October 05, 2013, 08:55:48 PM
Now I'm thinking that my middle name will be "Endymion" or have Endymion in it based off of the character from Sailor Moon. In a way, I feel like I am him and I do feel like a king, even though I'm in jester's clothings. It would be awesome if the future girlfriend would call me Mamo-chan. Am I living in fantasy land? Perhaps. Do I care of it's ultimately destructive or bad for me to do that? Nope
Sometimes I call my SO Gene as in Gene Starwind. I can kinda duplicate Melfina's voice, so it works. (They are from Outlaw Star) And yea, being called Mamo-chan would be awesome. ...
Thanks Malachite, now I wanna change my middle name to Julian in honor of Yukito from Cardcaptor Sakura. So then I could call my love Touya. ... Wait... That name is already reserved for one specific person. I don't think I could bring myself to call anyone else by that name.
I made a deal with my parents to cut my hair, on the condition that they buy me something expensive and I get to keep it long. (I know that sounds weird and spoiled, but my mother is psycho and desperate like that)
At first I was distraught, she cut off most of the bottom portion, that's 2 and a half years worth of growing it out and I only have an inch or two left! However I found the top part still has plenty of length, almost 2 years worth (10 inches), so I'm getting over it. It's more even now as well, so I'll probably like the results more after I grow it out again.
Idk why they perfer my new hairstyle though. It looks very feminine, especially compared to my old, shaggy and lazy hairstyle. Whatever. It's still very uneven though, as I didn't get it finished. I can't bear the thought of cutting any more of it, at least until it grows out more.
Quote from: Darkie on October 05, 2013, 11:21:15 PM
SO works at a gun shop so he got one to protect himself when he has to leave late.
Sometimes I call my SO Gene as in Gene Starwind. I can kinda duplicate Melfina's voice, so it works. (They are from Outlaw Star) And yea, being called Mamo-chan would be awesome. ...
Thanks Malachite, now I wanna change my middle name to Julian in honor of Yukito from Cardcaptor Sakura. So then I could call my love Touya. ... Wait... That name is already reserved for one specific person. I don't think I could bring myself to call anyone else by that name.
Lol you're welcome.
Quote from: Edge on October 05, 2013, 11:15:55 PM
I wonder if anyone actually likes eccentric people or if they just say that because they think it makes them sound cool.
Real eccentric people I mean, not fictional eccentric people.
Well, there was Norton I, Emperor of America. Most people liked him.
Handwashing bras is boring.
Quote from: Darkie on October 05, 2013, 11:21:15 PM
Sometimes I call my SO Gene as in Gene Starwind. I can kinda duplicate Melfina's voice, so it works. (They are from Outlaw Star) And yea, being called Mamo-chan would be awesome. ...
I remember when I read the outlaw star manga back in the 90's... It was so meh and badly translated... Then Two years ago I finally could watch the anime, and... Holy Cow, that's the Sunrise I love. That peak point anime reached at the end of 90's next to CowBe and others...
Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 06, 2013, 04:38:32 AM
I remember when I read the outlaw star manga back in the 90's... It was so meh and badly translated... Then Two years ago I finally could watch the anime, and... Holy Cow, that's the Sunrise I love. That peak point anime reached at the end of 90's next to CowBe and others...
IT was around that time coming home to watch toonami that basically saved my life. I was a very depressed teenager and coming home to watch those was my escape. I recorded a bunch of episodes so that even when shows like Gundam Wing went off the air I watched my tapes and Endless Waltz (the movie) over and over.
On a side note, this just happened:
My husband is special.
He comes in and looks at me with a sad face and kinda whimpers as he goes "S..Sarah?"
I said, "Yea?"
He goes, "It's my ramen... I don't think I can eat it cause it's full of peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeas."
I just did the whole Captain Picard head shake facepalm.
I'm close to freak out right now, as everytime I wear new clothes. They are so tight and thin that I feel naked, and I am afraid about looking like a teenager when I am 30. Black Leggins, dark green long t-shirt and a dart red/ wine red / whatever hoodie which is not eaxtly what I would usually wear, plus the black nail polish... I am always afraid the first minutes.
I want to lay hands on my useless brother for how he treats my mother.
Got my gaff on Friday, haven't taken it off all weekend. I don't want to take it of, it makes me feel so calm! On a completely unrelated note: morning wood + gaff = OWWWW!
Last week I decided to become a Naruto fangirl. I've since bing-watched like 40 episodes. ^.^
On saturday I went to the neighbourhood's bakery to buy bread, and the shoopkeeper was like "Why are you dressed like a man? damn, you are confusing me!"
So today, that I have gone back to female after a week of almost considering detransioning, I went to the bakery just for her to saw me. "¿Now a woman? You need to decide one an for all, I don't know how to adress you!".
Obviously laughing at all of this, but she has a point. Today is the first time my boss sees me as a woman, and... "I'm bit disappointed, you almost look like you are wearing boy's clothes (Leggings, long shirt, hoddie and converse all starts). I'd had hoped to at least see you in heels".
I was close to replying 1) I really want to use these combination 2)When I went out it was 14 degrees, and 3) I'm not walking 25 minutes uphill on 9-11 cm wedges, You want to see me, you pay me the train fare (Which is the only one incompatible with my multi transit system card (Metro, railroad, city bus, province bus, regional train, mountain lifts, etc).
Still, I'm saving the dress for tomorrow. A friend had a daughter a week ago, and tomorrow I will be able to see her. Youk now the worst part? Oestrogen and babies, that's the last thing I wanted to appear in my battered brain?
Quote from: Kristal on October 07, 2013, 05:52:03 AM
Got my gaff on Friday, haven't taken it off all weekend. I don't want to take it of, it makes me feel so calm! On a completely unrelated note: morning wood + gaff = OWWWW!
Seriously? It's the third thing I throw away after arriving home (1- hair extensions, 2-footwear , 3-Gaff). Despite being made in antibacterial cloth, I'd preffer to conserve it as much as possible since I only have one, and I need to make it last at least two days before washing it. I just ordered my second one from Thebreastform store, although I saw this too: http://www.ebay.es/itm/Gaff-Tuck-Underwear-Pantie-Thong-Shapewear-Panty-->-bleeped-<--Drag-Lingerie-/111181007761?pt=US_Shapewear&var&hash=item19e2e78b91&_uhb=1
Hand sewn?
My sister asked for something to drink yesterday and I asked what she wanted and she say give her water so I gave her water from the fossit in the kitchen and when she tastes it she goes "ewww this tastes like dirt" and my other sister is like "yeah you shouldn't drink sink water it's contaminated (and shes in surgical tech) but I told her I drink 2.2 liters of it a day and she quickly changes to "well it's not going to hurt you if you drink it". Seriously yeah I know it tastes funny even to me like a bit of fluroide is in it but I don't care. Heck I don't see myself living to old age anyways so I'm going to drink what I want to drink.
Quote from: Malachite on October 07, 2013, 12:17:11 PM
My sister asked for something to drink yesterday and I asked what she wanted and she say give her water so I gave her water from the fossit in the kitchen and when she tastes it she goes "ewww this tastes like dirt" and my other sister is like "yeah you shouldn't drink sink water it's contaminated (and shes in surgical tech) but I told her I drink 2.2 liters of it a day and she quickly changes to "well it's not going to hurt you if you drink it". Seriously yeah I know it tastes funny even to me like a bit of fluroide is in it but I don't care. Heck I don't see myself living to old age anyways so I'm going to drink what I want to drink.
I like the taste of "contaminated" water. Bottled water is too "plain" I guess for my tastes.
Quote from: Malachite on October 07, 2013, 12:17:11 PM
My sister asked for something to drink yesterday and I asked what she wanted and she say give her water so I gave her water from the fossit in the kitchen and when she tastes it she goes "ewww this tastes like dirt" and my other sister is like "yeah you shouldn't drink sink water it's contaminated (and shes in surgical tech) but I told her I drink 2.2 liters of it a day and she quickly changes to "well it's not going to hurt you if you drink it". Seriously yeah I know it tastes funny even to me like a bit of fluroide is in it but I don't care. Heck I don't see myself living to old age anyways so I'm going to drink what I want to drink.
I live in Iowa and our water is VERY chlorinated. When I go visit my cousins who drink well water sent through a softener my dad and I get sick. Our bodies can't handle it. Same thing happens when they try and drink our water.
When I worked at a hotel my new manager had moved here from I-can't-remember-where and had an allergy to chlorine and every time she would take a shower her poor eyes would be bloodshot and her skin itchy.
I am on an overflow well with a lot of hydrogen sulfide in it. I pay a bit of money every month for a system that softens and removes the odor, so I do drink water from my faucet as its pretty darned clean.
I drink quite a bit of tap water, I think for the most part it's all right. With as much as I drink, I can't afford to buy bottled water. Plus, all that plastic on the environment worries me.
I wonder if my family has been wondering what's going on with me lately and have been talking about it with each other. I was over at my parents house eating a quick dinner before we went to my nieces soccer game. Being a totally innocent child she bluntly asks me if I'm a girl. My parents weren't in the same room as me when she asked and I didn't tell her anything. Made me feel good and bad at the same time but it has go me thinking what's going on with my family as she has never asked me this before. Usually the only times she asks questions is if she's heard others asking them so now the gears in my mind are spinning and I need to re re re re re read my coming out letter again to see if there's anything I want to change in it or add in more.
Quote from: Megan on October 07, 2013, 08:54:46 PM
I wonder if my family has been wondering what's going on with me lately and have been talking about it with each other. I was over at my parents house eating a quick dinner before we went to my nieces soccer game. Being a totally innocent child she bluntly asks me if I'm a girl. My parents weren't in the same room as me when she asked and I didn't tell her anything. Made me feel good and bad at the same time but it has go me thinking what's going on with my family as she has never asked me this before. Usually the only times she asks questions is if she's heard others asking them so now the gears in my mind are spinning and I need to re re re re re read my coming out letter again to see if there's anything I want to change in it or add in more.
It could be that she's perceptive. Kids pick up on these things faster than adults do, as they don't have decades of gender conditioning to rely on.
On a related note, I think at least one of my brothers knows I'm trans. He's been dropping a lot of jokes about me being a girl, far more than he ever did. Curiouser and curiouser...
I am so disappointed with the Red Sox (http://www.buzzfeed.com/erikmalinowski/saddest-baseball-fans-ever-cant-handle-this-game-ending-home) :icon_no:
Hubby, friend and I are playing the "guess the anime" game from the theme songs. Playing them from my laptop and seeing if they can guess them.
Listening to my state's fire and ems radio traffic online. That is so cool and I didn't know I could do that. I was just on the sherriff's website trying to look at the application for dispatching....not like there's a seperate application anything. They are using the phonetic alphabet. I remember most of them from NJROTC.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 08, 2013, 12:24:22 AM
Sounds quite punt worthy to me. :P
Omg you're right. :3 Oh well! Now due to the internet spoiling me by letting me binge-watch I'm reminded of how awesome Naruto is ^.^
*uses Portia as shield for punters*
Back from exercising. felt kinda meh, to be honest. I'm in no condition and my cardio rate kept skyrocketing all the time, plust I could not finish on time to meet some friends.
Ugh, you need to "spend energy to make energy". . . time to go jogging lazyface. :icon_workout:
I may have rowed across the Atlantic on my rowing machine by now. Like to row to sixties era rock music, Aretha Franklin's "Jumpin Jack Flash" really gets me going. Like that get-up stuff!
I've just sat on my butt on the couch catching up on online stuff and news while drinking coffee and eating a fudge covered coconut granola bar.
Quote from: anymouse on October 08, 2013, 08:14:09 AM
I've just sat on my butt on the couch catching up on online stuff and news while drinking coffee and eating a fudge covered coconut granola bar.
You'll be wearing it! Say, don't I know you from somewhere? ;D
Quote from: Shantel on October 08, 2013, 08:24:45 AM
You'll be wearing it! Say, don't I know you from somewhere? ;D
I don't think so...
And watching the news, I'm wondering how much my 401k is going to suffer in the coming months.
Quote from: Shantel on October 08, 2013, 08:08:01 AM
I may have rowed across the Atlantic on my rowing machine by now. Like to row to sixties era rock music, Aretha Franklin's "Jumpin Jack Flash" really gets me going. Like that get-up stuff!
I always thought rowing looked like fun! I ran today to Toad the Wet Sprocket's album Coil, but I usually workout to either my '80s mix or System of a Down.
Damn, I said I did not want to go to a lgbt support group, but my body has other ideas. I already ironed a top, showered, shaved again, cleaned my face and now I'm preparing the make up desk.
I can't believe I promised myself a kebab if I went today. I can't find a decent excuse for staying at home, I feel too alone...
Ugh, I'm bored waiting for my hair to grow. I like the direction it's taking but it will need to be fixed severely when it gets longer. I still have 2 years worth of growth on the top of my head, the hair that grows out the bottom of my scalp on the back of my neck was for the most part, completely cut off. I was scared to do it at first but I think it'll be good for it in the long run, it'll now grow along with my top hair as an extra layer, and thus it won't curl fracking stupidly like it did when it was by itself, I think! :D Ugh, I'm so OCD about the uneven parts but I won't dare cut ANYTHING until my hair gets some growth back! >:( In the mean time I think I'll consider a wig, mah dream hair isn't coming for 3 years at least. -.-" (2 if you don't count the uneven chunk that needs to go) I was looking at some really cute ones on Amazon, ugh I hope they're not too uncomfortable.
Also, it seems to me that people are too hard and judgemental about teen pregnancy. I know it's a problem but it seems like this taboo encourages people to treat pregnant teenagers like horrible, stupid whores who will give their baby a horrible upbringing. It all seems blown out of proportion; these girls shouldn't be judged by their mistake, and having a teenage mother isn't the absolute worst upbringing that you can have.
I like rainy days, I don't have to go hunt down the furry tailed rat to bring him back to the house.
Quote from: anymouse on October 08, 2013, 11:36:59 AM
I like rainy days, I don't have to go hunt down the furry tailed rat to bring him back to the house.
The one that eats all that unhealthy people food?
Quote from: Shantel on October 08, 2013, 11:41:23 AM
The one that eats all that unhealthy people food?
He eats quite well, thank you very much. Well, maybe he shouldn't eat candy occasionally, but hey, we can't all be perfect, you know.
Quote from: anymouse on October 08, 2013, 11:44:12 AM
He eats quite well, thank you very much. Well, maybe he shouldn't eat candy occasionally, but hey, we can't all be perfect, you know.
Well exsqueeze me! :icon_bunch: Guess I should be careful about how I refer to your baby boy! ;D :D :laugh:
I was wondering what it means that some people think I'm weak and shouldn't be in this line of study while others think I'm very strong and good at this. Considering those who think me weak never saw me at my worst and those who think I'm a strong person have seen me at my weakest, I just wonder what that means.
I really need to take a break from the GTA V strip club. I don't want to become immune to it's effect.
Quote from: Shantel on October 08, 2013, 12:37:19 PM
Well exsqueeze me! :icon_bunch: Guess I should be careful about how I refer to your baby boy! ;D :D :laugh:
He seems to prefer "Your Highness" or "Master Jake."
Ahhhh red line hurry up! I m not going to have time to get dinner before boarding the rail now, and I am so hungry. :( I only had a yogurt today.
Thinking I die a little bit every time I have to post that candle.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 08, 2013, 07:48:39 PM
Thinking I die a little bit every time I have to post that candle.
You give too many hugs, it's time you get one for once. :icon_hug:
You can't give hugs away, you get one back ever time you try. :)
It just bothers me that we're such a tiny, tiny community and one of us is always dying.
Hugs to everyone, Devlyn
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 08, 2013, 08:25:53 PM
And you don't want to run out of singles. :P
Yeah that's ride, at $$0 a dance and about 10-15 dances per session, that adds up.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 08, 2013, 08:21:48 PM
You can't give hugs away, you get one back ever time you try. :)
It just bothers me that we're such a tiny, tiny community and one of us is always dying.
Hugs to everyone, Devlyn
I know. Some of my friends that aren't on this site but trans I suddenly won't hear from for weeks and I get really worried. I just finally talked to one of my friends the other day, came to find out her ex ODed (he was cis) and I didn't know. I worry about her all the time but I can't do anything for her because I live 3 hours away. I'm not really financially able to go visit her, and she isn't able to visit here for the same reason. It's hard. All of us connected with the internet, which is a beautiful thing, but when the other person really needs someone there all you can do is wish and try and be there for them as best you can. It's heartbreaking, and even though I don't know a lot of people in the community it is still sad.
Some people don't understand that just because you don't meet someone face to face doesn't mean their death means less. When I found out my friend Nicolas died, no one had told me. He had been dead for 2 weeks and no one had told me. I took it really hard, because it was sudden (he died of a sudden heart attack) and I never got to say goodbye. In some ways, I feel it is harder when someone you know online dies because you don't know if they are just busy or if something has happened. And even if you find out they died, you can't do anything. I couldn't go to his funeral. I talk to his brother every once in a while, but I don't have any closure. I had to bury it deep because I was irritating people as I mourned. They didn't understand that just because I had never met him didn't lessen his worth to me. I cherish the people that I allow to get into my bubble. I had shared with him many things, he had helped me get over my friend's death. (This friend I had known since high school and died after he moved back to Russia.)
Quote from: Malachite on October 08, 2013, 08:29:55 PM
Yeah that's ride, at $$0 a dance and about 10-15 dances per session, that adds up.
Well, looks like you are going to be a pro when it comes to money handling. XD
Manager: Wow, where did you learn your amazing money counting skills?
Malachite: Making sure I had enough singles to pay the lapdancers on GTA V.
Quote from: Darkie on October 08, 2013, 08:40:44 PM
Well, looks like you are going to be a pro when it comes to money handling. XD
Manager: Wow, where did you learn your amazing money counting skills?
Malachite: Making sure I had enough singles to pay the lapdancers on GTA V.
Oops I I meant to type $40. I had made a mistake the first time to where it was $0 and it looks like I incorrectly tried to correct it lol.
I am giving serious thought to skipping Deaf Studies tomorrow. I don't have the homework done nor my presentation and I don't feel good.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 08, 2013, 08:21:48 PM
You can't give hugs away, you get one back ever time you try. :)
It just bothers me that we're such a tiny, tiny community and one of us is always dying.
Hugs to everyone, Devlyn
I bet were bigger than you think, sure the amount of people that post is small but look at all of the guests who are online at any time. I think about them when I post as I know what it was like when I was just a guest coming here looking for words of advice to help me though my own troubled times that kept me living because of the ones that do post and open up with their own issues that you can relate to or often share the exact same problems.
Indeed hugs for everyone :D
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 08, 2013, 08:21:48 PM
It just bothers me that we're such a tiny, tiny community and one of us is always dying.
We may be tiny in size, but we are HUGE in love for each other. :)
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 08, 2013, 08:21:48 PM
You can't give hugs away, you get one back ever time you try. :)
It just bothers me that we're such a tiny, tiny community and one of us is always dying.
Hugs to everyone, Devlyn
S-someone died?
Why do people always nitpick how inferior sequels are even if they're better than their predecessor in every way? ::)
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 09, 2013, 05:04:48 AM
Why do people always nitpick how inferior sequels are even if they're better than their predecessor in every way? ::)
Obviously you are speaking of the cinematic masterpiece that is Highlander 2...
Quote from: Kristal on October 09, 2013, 01:54:17 AM
S-someone died?
There were two News articles yesterday, one girl was stabbed and the other was the victim of a hit and run driver. Natkat recently posted about a friend who ended his own life. We lost Andrea awhile back. The list goes on and on.
Just did a daily seven (though I switched it up using weights) on an 8 count. Taking a mini break before I jump into it again. Even on an 8 count my heart was racing but I'm going to try and do two daily sevens in the morning as a warm up, bar that time of the month. Gosh doing those daily sevens takes me back to JROTC. I wish I had the stamina to actually join the millitary. Maybe with enough training and exercise, but now I just want to lose some weight. Oh well let me get back into my second daily seven before I get too lazy to do so. HOORAH!
EDIT:
I hurt the crease of my foot trying to do bend and thrusts in such a small space. Couldn't go past the 3 count sadly. Flt bad about it but I continued on with the weights. Can't believe I'm starting to sweat in only ten minutes! That's it for my warm-up today. If I have the willpower I'll be up at 12 noon to get into the real exercises on my PS Move. I need to call my college and ask about a transcript.
I got a call back about my line of credit application (for top surgery) already...they said they need more information from me in order to reach a final decision. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Augh. I will call them as soon as I can I guess.
Quote from: anymouse on October 08, 2013, 05:20:58 PM
He seems to prefer "Your Highness" or "Master Jake."
Ever feel that you're leading a dog's life? :laugh:
When I reason other suicidal people out of it I feel like a hypocrite of sorts :-\
Thinking of all the things I need to do before iI hit the road this weekend.
Quote from: dashaz1980 on October 09, 2013, 09:10:24 AM
Thinking of all the things I need to do before iI hit the road this weekend.
Thinking why can't I find an electric can opener that actually works and why is everything made in effing China or bum->-bleeped-<- Egypt these days?
Quote from: V M on October 09, 2013, 09:05:46 AM
When I reason other suicidal people out of it I feel like a hypocrite of sorts :-\
It must get hard to talk yourself out of it all the time.
Quote from: Shantel on October 09, 2013, 09:15:10 AM
Thinking why can't I find an electric can opener that actually works and why is everything made in effing China or bum->-bleeped-<- Egypt these days?
You probably would not believe me if I told you that one week ago I used a can opener for the first time in my life.... The pull tab broke and I had to use the one included in my victorinox... An interesting experience.
So far, three consecutive days is the maximum I have been able to keep in female mode without reverting to male for one motive or another. If tomorrow I can keep it up, it will be a new milestone for me, and hoping the full time is closer. So yep, I'm damn nervous about tomorrow. I stopped the movie I was watching to put a washing machine, and after it I'm gonna shave everything (included where the light does not reach, somebody mention "sexy butt" and I'm red thinking on the current amount of hair since the weather got colder and I stopped with the dresses). I want no last minute errors tomorrow that force me to revert...
Overslept and didn't do my base exercise. I'll probably do it tonight but it was soooo cold!
Quote from: Malachite on October 09, 2013, 02:36:45 PM
Overslept and didn't do my base exercise. I'll probably do it tonight but it was soooo cold!
Damn, I knew I was forgetting something today. And it was legs day!
Can't wait for getting to the gym tomorrow. Since It is my first week after a long period without training, I'm only going half of the days, but I use to reinforce a bit in the Evening. Evening I spent ripping this single to flac:
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/860921_162996010575308_1334447189_o.jpg)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ff0.bcbits.com%2Fimg%2F0000171627_10.jpg&hash=859ec2d37347a5e5c8e2c6d5d42b2b4c6d079495)
I'm betting one chupa-chup's that's Mauro Entrialgo's hand in the photo. Best thing is that since he seems to be living in the same province as me, shipping costs for the vinyls are really cheap.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 09, 2013, 10:28:30 AM
It must get hard to talk yourself out of it all the time.
That also, it is difficult
Quote from: Liam Erik on October 09, 2013, 08:59:55 PM
I think I should drop out of school.
Getting an education is VERY important in life. You don't want to go thorough life not having those few piece's of paper that says you did this and that as employers want to see that you follow things through and are worthy of being hired. I had a few friends that dropped out and they never could get ahead because of it. I know it seems like the best option especially if your school life is in a terrible place but really stick it out and get that diploma!
Was thinking how lucky I was to find my therapist. I came out to the her today in our 1st session together. It's the first time I've ever admitted my feelings to a person face to face. It felt so good to make this step :laugh:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,150239.msg1250083.html#msg1250083
Quote from: Megan on October 09, 2013, 09:16:11 PM
Was thinking how lucky I was to find my therapist. I came out to the her today in our 1st session together. It's the first time I've ever admitted my feelings to a person face to face. It felt so good to make this step :laugh:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,150239.msg1250083.html#msg1250083
Congrats! that must have felt liberating!
I'm thinking about GTA V's strip club. I have a favorite stripper I like to visit. Her name is Sapphire. I'm thinking about Sapphire. I want to visit Sapphire....right now. I usually like to play as Trevor when I'm visiting her. It's just so fitting.
Quote from: Malachite on October 09, 2013, 09:29:41 PM
Congrats! that must have felt liberating!
I'm thinking about GTA V's strip club. I have a favorite stripper I like to visit. Her name is Sapphire. I'm thinking about Sapphire. I want to visit Sapphire....right now. I usually like to play as Trevor when I'm visiting her. It's just so fitting.
Thanks! It was very liberating.
I'm about 20% into GTA V right now. I'm being my usual perfectionist and trying to get all gold's on all of the missions and to get 100% completion.
Quote from: Megan on October 09, 2013, 10:24:53 PM
I'm about 20% into GTA V right now. I'm being my usual perfectionist and trying to get all gold's on all of the missions and to get 100% completion.
Good luck with that! That would tear my nerves up.
Has anybody ever exercised while tucking? I'm having thoughts about nuts exploding... Which would be quite nice. Just that I don't like to hide the breasts at the gym, but I don't feel ok showing them at the same time as a big bulge in my pants...
I can't believe I signed up as a mentor for the Women's Law Student Association. . . my mentee is like a squeaky.friggin' bunny.
Frustrated. Very frustrated... What happens every time I record voice samples. What worth is passing if you can't open your mouth...
So I'm back with the breathing and posture voice training... Which starts by recommending strong abdominal muscles. And here I am, at 22:00 doing crunches and other exercises. Before bed. Probably, tomorrow I'm going to pay the price of overexercising on the first week.
I have a chem midterm tomorrow morning and I really hope I can remember all the formulas and numbers I'm supposed to.
I need to do my notes for my test I skipped yesterday. I need to reschedule it tomorrow.
Quote from: Edge on October 10, 2013, 05:56:04 PM
I have a chem midterm tomorrow morning and I really hope I can remember all the formulas and numbers I'm supposed to.
Quote from: Darkie on October 10, 2013, 09:05:04 PM
I need to do my notes for my test I skipped yesterday. I need to reschedule it tomorrow.
I know you both will do well on your mid-terms and tests! :) Good luck
I cut half of a small lime and dropped it in my bottle of water. Now I'm trying to figure out how I will remove it as it's making the water tastes bitter and a bit syrpy but it's stuck. >.>
Wondering if I can work up enough courage to present as female for my next therapy session.
Was at the college today and say a guy who was in my NJROTC squad at since. He was a freshman at the time and I was a senior, second in command. I know he saw me walk through but he just kept his eyes to the left like he was looking at something. I never seen someone stare at the walls and doors so hard. I find it a little offensive that he didn't even adknowledge my presence when I tried to get his attention. Strange, I know his girlfriend and she did the exact same thing to me several months ago. It's like wtf I was a great squad leader and I honestly gave them more more wiggle room with dismissing my squad in high school. Now that I think about it. I went to Mcdonalds with my nephew and saw a girl who was also in my squad working there about a month and a half ago. She looked it me and took my order, but it was as if she didn't know me, or knew me but didn't adknowledge it. She looked at me straight in her eyes too so it really wasn't ignoring since at least she did that (compared to the other two that wouldn't), but it was like she had a poker face on.
What the heck? I was a darn good leader and if anything more lenient that the first-in-command....and nearly every other person who ranked chief and up.
I feel like I'm losing me touch even though I've been out of high school for 3 years now. To make me feel better, I'm going to say the guy was respecting me so much that he was giving me an "Eyes Left".
That's right, I still got it.
Quote from: Malachite on October 10, 2013, 10:16:57 PM
She looked it me and took my order, but it was as if she didn't know me, or knew me but didn't adknowledge it. She looked at me straight in her eyes too so it really wasn't ignoring since at least she did that (compared to the other two that wouldn't), but it was like she had a poker face on.
That sounds really quite creepy and may be what some people do to street people by looking through them or looking past them to act as if they are not there. Maybe they picked up on your trans status and can't deal with it? In any event it's their crappy attitude and they will have to live with it not you because you have moved on with your life. ((Hugs))
Lately I've been so damn grumpy when I have to wake up. I was never a morning person, but I could always fake it...now, it's like "DON'T TALK TO ME DON'T TOUCH ME >:( >:( >:("
I'm going to sleep in 15 minutes and I still haven't removed my make up. I feel extra lazy and I'd gladly go to bed with it on, but it's not worth the trouble of cleaning pillow covers the next day.
Quote from: Shantel on October 11, 2013, 09:50:09 AM
That sounds really quite creepy and may be what some people do to street people by looking through them or looking past them to act as if they are not there. Maybe they picked up on your trans status and can't deal with it? In any event it's their crappy attitude and they will have to live with it not you because you have moved on with your life. ((Hugs))
Yeah ti suckd big time though. I honestly don't know what it was (though I don't think it was the trans thing since I wasn't identifying as such at the time, but it's like what the heck. In the rare event I own a big buisness and they need jobs, they better not come to me for one.....okay well maybe the girl at McDonalds can because she's pretty hot LOL. -hugs-
I keep my bottle of T at the doctor's because I get my injection there...I guess somebody lost it. So I had to go buy a new bottle and come back. I felt really bad for the woman who was meant to give the injection though, she said "I feel so bad! I try so hard to be diligent and I lost it!" Which of course made me feel terrible, lol, because I wasn't angry and I wouldn't want her to feel guilty! Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and it was almost time for me to have a new bottle anyway.
Assuming I get a job in December, by the time free comic book day rolls around I should have half the money up for top surgery if there aren't too many unexpected expenses to tend to.
I came out on Facebook today. So far, the only response I've gotten is the wife of a Navy friend liking the coming out post and then liking the manliest picture of me possible, from the day I got out of the Navy. Not sure what this means...
I just raged quit. Hope the game didn't save lol.
Quote from: Kristal on October 11, 2013, 10:29:38 PMI came out on Facebook today. So far, the only response I've gotten is the wife of a Navy friend liking the coming out post and then liking the manliest picture of me possible, from the day I got out of the Navy. Not sure what this means...
The way I'm interpreting it, is either she's glad you're not dealing with this while still in the Navy, or she doesn't like the idea of this.
Just my opinion, you have no way of knowing unless you ask her, and I get the fear of doing so.
Quote from: Malachite on October 11, 2013, 08:41:25 PM
Assuming I get a job in December, by the time free comic book day rolls around I should have half the money up for top surgery if there aren't too many unexpected expenses to tend to.
That's awesome ;D I don't know if I will get another teaching contract next term, but it turns out I'll have to go private for my top surgery. :( I'm going with Dr G now. Just gotta save up the cash, might have to pick up a part-time job in addition to what I am already doing.
-----------------
There's thing thing going around on Tumblr where you put your itunes on random, then list the first lines of the first 10 songs to make a poem. This is what I got:
She's got something to say to the world
Looking back at my life, this was all that I wanted
Ain't no more sunshine, just rain and cold suffering
I'm a lineman for the county and I drive the main road
Let me know that I've done wrong
I ain't Mr Right, I'm Mr Right Now
I wanna live like a wildflower
It is the passion flowing right on through your veins
Can you hear them? They talk about us
Go on, go on, leave me breathless
It didn't turn out too bad!! LOL
I'm thinking about the phrase I heard some time ago in this forum:
"A Man is great for sex, but I'd go with a woman for a relationship"
Which totally nails my current way of thinking. I'd like to go to the les support group (mixed group is 100% gay), but I feel that I'd would be perceived as a menace there, with my voice and what I still have between the legs (I hate it).
Playing with the 14-week-old kitten Mom and stepdad got isn't good for hands. :I Well, hand. My right hand is full of tiny scratches. I guess that's what happens when a kitten that young gets cat nip for the first time... That idiot jumped into the trash bin. Fortunately it was just a paper trash bin, though. @_@
There is a bounty on my head in GTA V so I'm only playing an invite only game muwhahahahhaha! It will take about an hour for me to remove it so I guess I'm going to let the controller charge and do two sets of daily sevens. HOORAH!
And now I'm out to my brothers. Things went pretty well, all things considered. One of them keeps giggling after he uses feminine pronouns, but he apologizes too, so win?
People on here worry about their height, but heck, yesterday, the young female ALE agent that inspected the store towered over me and I'm 5'10".
Note to self: kittens have very sharp claws and it doesn't feel very comfortable to have those tiny needles sinking into my post-op "sensation acting weird" chest.
I hope these little scratch marks will fade away before I have my post-op checkup in couple weeks...
That sometimes things happen which make you hate yourself for caring.
I wish I could work out how to stop.
Tears are not fun.
Quote from: anymouse on October 12, 2013, 07:55:00 AM
People on here worry about their height, but heck, yesterday, the young female ALE agent that inspected the store towered over me and I'm 5'10".
And did you tell that that you can read her and that you suspect she is a really tall cis woman? ;D
Quote from: Malachite on October 12, 2013, 07:42:53 AM
There is a bounty on my head in GTA V so I'm only playing an invite only game muwhahahahhaha! It will take about an hour for me to remove it so I guess I'm going to let the controller charge and do two sets of daily sevens. HOORAH!
What did you do Malachite? lol
New Pokemon games are out today. I'm going to Walmart to get them. But here is the problem: I have work that is due, students to email, and my room/bathroom need to be cleaned before something random becomes sentient.
-_- So the promise of playing the new games will have to be my motivation. I actually don't know if I possess the self-discipline, but I don't have much choice...
Quote from: Shantel on October 12, 2013, 01:12:37 PM
And did you tell that that you can read her and that you suspect she is a really tall cis woman? ;D
She was packing heat, I wasn't about to be a smart alec. Besides, maybe she didn't read me being that I was so short comparatively speaking...
Quote from: caleb. on October 12, 2013, 02:03:08 PM
What did you do Malachite? lol
New Pokemon games are out today. I'm going to Walmart to get them. But here is the problem: I have work that is due, students to email, and my room/bathroom need to be cleaned before something random becomes sentient.
-_- So the promise of playing the new games will have to be my motivation. I actually don't know if I possess the self-discipline, but I don't have much choice...
I think the last Pokémon game I played was the Blue one, for the original Gameboy.
...
Some days I feel old, lol.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 12, 2013, 02:16:43 PM
I think the last Pokémon game I played was the Blue one, for the original Gameboy.
...
Some days I feel old, lol.
I miss Blue.
THE GAMES WERE SOLD OUT. </3 They said on the phone they had them in stock. When the woman told me I don't think I have ever tried so hard to conceal a broken heart. lmao. She was like "you can try tomorrow...sorry..." and I said "...ok...no problem, have a nice day" :'( I was so excited.
Quote from: caleb. on October 12, 2013, 02:03:08 PM
What did you do Malachite? lol
New Pokemon games are out today. I'm going to Walmart to get them. But here is the problem: I have work that is due, students to email, and my room/bathroom need to be cleaned before something random becomes sentient.
-_- So the promise of playing the new games will have to be my motivation. I actually don't know if I possess the self-discipline, but I don't have much choice...
I've already got the Y version! We should be Pokefriends! Two hour round trip to the city, totally worth it. I picked Froakie as my starter, it's so goofy looking, I love it.
Okay, here's another thing to make me feel old. I never actually owned an original Gameboy. I had an adapter cartridge for my SNES, which I played Pokémon Blue on, lol. And the overriding memory for me of that game was being in the Safari Zone trying to catch a Kangaskhan and a Tauros with those special safari balls they gave you. Talk about frustrating, haha.
Anyhow, back to normal service, lol.
Maybe I should try the new ones. I vaguely remember them being capable of eating your life.
Think your old Sephira, Pong/Black and white T.V. It was in the gameroom of my pyramid, the Sphinx always beat me. *giggle* ;D
speaking of pokemon, my first one was Pokemon Yellow. I wanted it since i played it before with my cousin (on her old gameboy color!) and really liked it.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 12, 2013, 03:35:03 PM
Okay, here's another thing to make me feel old. I never actually owned an original Gameboy. I had an adapter cartridge for my SNES, which I played Pokémon Blue on, lol. And the overriding memory for me of that game was being in the Safari Zone trying to catch a Kangaskhan and a Tauros with those special safari balls they gave you. Talk about frustrating, haha.
Anyhow, back to normal service, lol.
Maybe I should try the new ones. I vaguely remember them being capable of eating your life.
Don't know about your life, but eating your eyesight for the original one... That's a different story.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 12, 2013, 03:40:04 PM
Think your old Sephira, Pong/Black and white T.V. It was in the gameroom of my pyramid, the Sphinx always beat me. *giggle* ;D
LOL, been there too. >.> I still have an Atari games console up in the attic somewhere. Weird dimmer-switch paddles and all. Hahaha.
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on October 12, 2013, 03:41:14 PM
speaking of pokemon, my first one was Pokemon Yellow. I wanted it since i played it before with my cousin (on her old gameboy color!) and really liked it.
The only reason I didn't choose that one was that I didn't like the idea of a Pikachu always following me around. In fact, I got rid of the starter Pokémon as soon as I could. I don't even remember which one it was. I do remember that my favourite one was Jynx. Although in Blue, you could only get that through trading with an NPC (since I didn't have any friends, lol). And it was named something dumb.
Quote from: Kristal on October 12, 2013, 03:29:05 PM
I've already got the Y version! We should be Pokefriends! Two hour round trip to the city, totally worth it. I picked Froakie as my starter, it's so goofy looking, I love it.
I wanted to get X! We could totally trade Pokemon. ;D
I don't know who I want. I think I want Fennekin. Looking at what some people have said, type advantages shouldn't really be an issue as you can catch the three monkeys early in the game and also get to choose between Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. GRWELKJS I WANT IT DAMN YOU WALMART. -_- I could take the bus around the city but on Saturday that's a several hour trip...
Quote from: caleb. on October 12, 2013, 02:03:08 PM
What did you do Malachite? lol
I jacked some woman's car....and she was an NPC -_-
It's not even like the car was a fancy one to begin with.
I'm thinknig about Las Vegas and casinos and white tigers. I wouldn't gamble but it would be nice to visit there and to make myself feel like a fancy person.
Been trying to come out to my parents for 8 hours. I think I need someone to push me into the pool.
Quote from: Megan on October 12, 2013, 07:27:33 PM
Been trying to come out to my parents for 8 hours. I think I need someone to push me into the pool.
(the first few seconds)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzKbk1YpMYg
I'm thinking about the dream I had last Sunday morning. I had gotten so many lap dances in GTA V that I started dreaming about them. The lady kept moving around so fast I got dizzy. I loved it!
Now I'm randomly thinking about a low carb cheesecake and while I was thinking about that, someone gunned me down while I was walking out of the GTA V strip club.....lol I shut the PS3 down again so I wouldn't get a medical bill and I had just put all my money into the bank so the jokes on them HAHAHAHA!
Now I'm thinking about a red bird.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 12, 2013, 11:48:13 PM
I was still stuck in my depressive funk for a good chunk of the day. But it faded away after awhile. I had to work at it but part of it was due to the fact that today was my cousin's wedding day and I felt that it would be unfair to her to say anything about my stupid crap. As the afternoon went on I felt better since everyone was in a good mood and it helped lift my spirits a bit. It was a nice ceremony. My cousin had this silly grin on her face the whole time and I couldn't help but smile at that.
The reception was pretty fun but i did miss the fact that I couldn't drink anything that had alcohol in it due to it interacting in a bad way with my meds...oh well. At the end of the night I sang "Edge Of The World" by Faith No More. I was decent but I would have sounded better if I had warmed up my voice properly and used my own mic instead of that SM58 but oh well it was still cool. I threw in a few Grindcore growls and screeches plus some microphonic feedback just to mess around. It was amusing.
I'm really glad you're feeling somewhat better, hon. *big hug*
Damn I need to go to another room and close the door if I want to have some privacy from the kitten here... She's really taken a liking to me which kinda amuses me considering she's a Maine Coon and that breed's one characteristic is to choose one member of the family which they will basically adore... The funny part is that I'm not gonna see that cat very often so if she picks me... Lulz. I bet Mom would be so jealous.
Three hours till my father appears. It's time to start the preparation routine. Let's shave...
I wish somebody could visit me. That way he would be restrained by his own fear of being perceived as he really is. And it would also show that I have a perfectly normal life.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 12, 2013, 11:48:13 PM
I was still stuck in my depressive funk for a good chunk of the day. But it faded away after awhile. I had to work at it but part of it was due to the fact that today was my cousin's wedding day and I felt that it would be unfair to her to say anything about my stupid crap. As the afternoon went on I felt better since everyone was in a good mood and it helped lift my spirits a bit. It was a nice ceremony. My cousin had this silly grin on her face the whole time and I couldn't help but smile at that.
The reception was pretty fun but i did miss the fact that I couldn't drink anything that had alcohol in it due to it interacting in a bad way with my meds...oh well. At the end of the night I sang "Edge Of The World" by Faith No More. I was decent but I would have sounded better if I had warmed up my voice properly and used my own mic instead of that SM58 but oh well it was still cool. I threw in a few Grindcore growls and screeches plus some microphonic feedback just to mess around. It was amusing.
Glad you're feeling better hon, my advice to everyone having depression has always "Change the tape running in your head by getting focused on other positive things," seems like it's working for you! Alcohol drives my bp through the roof inter-reacting with my HRT, kinda tough nuts for someone who likes a few drinks, your situation sounds similar.
I like Tossu-sama's avatar.
I'm mulling over a conversation I had with a couple of my friends that is difficult to describe, but makes me wonder why something didn't occur to them.
I'm also wondering how my midterms went.
30 minutes. Pure terror to do my make up, and the khol pencil was breaking constantly. I have lorazepam running in my veins, and still trembling. Even my stomach pains are here. Now I only need to wait, but even my bladder is in overdrive mode
I received this in response to a coming out post.
Quoteit would be cool if you could be a woman and keep the beard !!
I don't understand why you have to go through all the surgery and stuff (except for a good rack)
Cheers and good luck !!
...Thanks?
Quote from: Kristal on October 13, 2013, 10:08:59 AM
I received this in response to a coming out post.
...Thanks?
...Wow. Not really sure how to take that. I guess it means you have an awesome beard and if you had a good rack it would be the best of both worlds on one person? O.o
fighting a headache after light sensitivity
I'm feeling much better. I would have went to church but didn't want to risk it coming back up due to beating on drums.
Thinking too much right noow would probably trigger it up again.
You never expect the Spanish Inquisition...
My hair is so soft right now. ^.^
Quote from: Darkie on October 13, 2013, 10:13:51 AM
...Wow. Not really sure how to take that. I guess it means you have an awesome beard and if you had a good rack it would be the best of both worlds on one person? O.o
You tell me. This was my face as of a month ago.
(https://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/s720x720/73348_506590616067867_895310227_n.jpg)
Yes, my "beard" was an actual beard. Irony~
Quote from: Kristal on October 13, 2013, 11:07:46 AM
You tell me. This was my face as of a month ago.
(https://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/s720x720/73348_506590616067867_895310227_n.jpg)
Yes, my "beard" was an actual beard. Irony~
You could have had a part in a period piece film. Funny how so many trans women start out with a face full of hair just trying to play their assigned role. Good photo, want to see that in before and after eventually!
Quote from: Kristal on October 13, 2013, 11:07:46 AM
You tell me. This was my face as of a month ago.
(https://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/s720x720/73348_506590616067867_895310227_n.jpg)
Yes, my "beard" was an actual beard. Irony~
That stash. :) And you look awfully familiar. Like someone I went to high school with.
That is an awesome beard and moustache, but now I'm really curious what you look like without. If you don't mind me saying, you look rather pretty (regardless of the beard).
It feels so good to committ a string of robberies in GTA V and get away with it. I feel like the guys from the Payday 2 game. This calls for Lupin the third theme spamming!
Quote from: Malachite on October 13, 2013, 11:57:50 AM
It feels so good to committ a string of robberies in GTA V and get away with it. I feel like the guys from the Payday 2 game. This calls for Lupin the third theme spamming!
Sounds like you are mentally moving to the dark side. Stay out of trouble, you live too far off for me to make it on visiting days. ;D
I'm thinking that I don't care if I go down to the laundry room in my socks and before showering.
Quote from: Shantel on October 13, 2013, 12:00:21 PM
Sounds like you are mentally moving to the dark side. Stay out of trouble, you live too far off for me to make it on visiting days. ;D
And risk my criminal justice degree and certificate and potential career becoming null in void? Pfffft. I'm on the dark side alright but not THAT dark. I'm only in dark enough to get the free cookies.
I was thinking about what my friend said about my timidness being why people can't see me as a boy. Then I found this clip from a show I grew up watching and an episode that I loved because Raven was my favorite. Now I think I understand what she meant, because more often than not, this is exactly how I act around people once I get to know them better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwWFY6RdE5I (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwWFY6RdE5I)
Quote from: Darkie on October 13, 2013, 12:16:25 PM
I was thinking about what my friend said about my timidness being why people can't see me as a boy. Then I found this clip from a show I grew up watching and an episode that I loved because Raven was my favorite. Now I think I understand what she meant, because more often than not, this is exactly how I act around people once I get to know them better.
Hey Darkie,
I've been here long enough to see several former Ravens turn the corner from that wimpy self perception, you can do it too hon! Some of it may be attributable to female socialization, familial pressures from siblings and your own perception of societal expectations. This is the place where you learn to shed all of that and be all that you really intend to become. It takes time, introspection and determination, you have our full support here.
Quote from: Shantel on October 13, 2013, 12:40:23 PM
Hey Darkie,
I've been here long enough to see several former Ravens turn the corner from that wimpy self perception, you can do it too hon! Some of it may be attributable to female socialization, familial pressures from siblings and your own perception of societal expectations. This is the place where you learn to shed all of that and be all that you really intend to become. It takes time, introspection and determination, you have our full support here.
Thanks Shantel..
I'm thinking: You can do it, you can do it, you can do it! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
I'm seriously F'ed in the head if I entered a chatroom full of sex addicts and in the moment somebody said "Is there a femme boy that likes to wear lingerie?" I say "Me, but at this moment I have more of woman than man...
Three chats open at the same time. But When they got over the top dirty, I put a quote from Cinderella and closed the browser. It's bad when under the anonimacy I start leaking all those years of repressed thinking. and 19 months without sex.
ANyways, it's been good to lift my mood, but I really don't want to think what is in my head.
Quote from: Megan on October 13, 2013, 01:24:02 PM
I'm thinking: You can do it, you can do it, you can do it! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
YEAH!
Quote from: Megan on October 13, 2013, 01:24:02 PMI'm thinking: You can do it, you can do it, you can do it! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
You really can :)
just had to spend over 20 grand upgrading weapons and extended the clips in GTA V....guess how I'm going to make the money back?
No don't guess actually....that was a rhetorical question.
I had grand plans to finish reading for Commercial Law Sales today, but it's soooo boring, I can't pay attention. I think I am just going to go home, watch a movie, and.start fresh tomorrow. At least I got some of it done.
No one is home...as much as I'd like to take the chance to chill, I should take advantage of the chance to get work done for a few hours.
Quote from: Megan on October 13, 2013, 01:24:02 PM
I'm thinking: You can do it, you can do it, you can do it! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
yes, and keep going with everything. we can never give up
Hope to make another Craigslist sale again soon. Malachite needs his top surgery fund to grow more! After my transcript comes in I'm going to make a copy of that and some otherstuff and send in my resume.
I wish my friends would stop joking about being "crazy." It wasn't that funny to start with and it gets less funny the more they do it.
I'm wondering if someone who actually is crazy could ever be accepted or if there will always be the threat of people's hostility.
That there are so many nice people here who without their help you would have never overcome your fears to come out to your family. Then that your family could be so accepting of everything even though you know they are feeling new fears of their own about what you just told them and how lucky you are to have them in your life!
Being a strong manly man.
I'm so hungry... and I still haven't done grocery shopping.
This afternoon I'm going to the "girls" support, after talking with the therapist of the association.
I'm so hungry... and I still haven't done grocery shopping.
This afternoon I'm going to the "girls" support, after talking with the therapist of the association.
Thinking I want to take a break from GTA V to get back more heavily into the fanfiction community. About to read chapter 2 of this one story and focus on my own.
I hate it when you're on youtube to watch a commercial/trailer, and then you get forced to watch an advertisement first.
Fathero ut of no where wanted mr to get some driving practice with him and I about had a panic attack. I was SO jerky. Plus, his pedel is so light that if I barely step on it it would go zooming and I hate cars like that.
If I get this dispatching job, I'm going to take the taxi every chance I get, even though I'd still need my license. I hate driving with a passion. Public transportation FTW!
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 14, 2013, 02:02:26 PM
I hate it when you're on youtube to watch a commercial/trailer, and then you get forced to watch an advertisement first.
Earlier today I thought about that too, although I also thought about those times when you're forced to watch a 30-second advertisement, then a "Sorry, this video is not available in your country" pops up. Joys of being European!
I'm wondering when kittenswithmittens will lose their mittens or if they recently found their mittens and if they are just showing the joy that comes with having mittens now that it is getting colder outside.
I don't have an official will and I have no plans to get one anytime soon but I wondered what would happen to the stuff I have right now and more importantly, my money if I died. I currently only have a little over $4,000 to my name. I thought about giving it to my mother for her medical bills and car repairs and groceries etc. but I would be so strict. I'd tell her that she couldn't use that money to get alcohol and cigerettes or groceries to buy to feed visitors from the church. It would have to be used for HER good. Sometime tells me she wouldn't respect my wishes. She would still use $5 here and there to get a bottle or two and a pack of cigerettes. She would still go out and buy food to feed people from church on Sundays. It makes me reconsider. Heck if I told her (or my sisters) to give the money to this site or even to random guy's top surgery funds, they wouldn't. I know they wouldn't, based off the whole religious stuff. If anything, they'd think I would be burning in hell for eternity. Perhaps it's best that I just hide all of the money so no one can find it. That profits no one though. Meh I may just tell them to give it to the animal shelter and be done. I don't know.
Quote from: Malachite on October 14, 2013, 07:00:00 PM
I don't have an official will and I have no plans to get one anytime soon but I wondered what would happen to the stuff I have right now and more importantly, my money if I died. I currently only have a little over $4,000 to my name. I thought about giving it to my mother for her medical bills and car repairs and groceries etc. but I would be so strict. I'd tell her that she couldn't use that money to get alcohol and cigerettes or groceries to buy to feed visitors from the church. It would have to be used for HER good. Sometime tells me she wouldn't respect my wishes. She would still use $5 here and there to get a bottle or two and a pack of cigerettes. She would still go out and buy food to feed people from church on Sundays. It makes me reconsider. Heck if I told her (or my sisters) to give the money to this site or even to random guy's top surgery funds, they wouldn't. I know they wouldn't, based off the whole religious stuff. If anything, they'd think I would be burning in hell for eternity. Perhaps it's best that I just hide all of the money so no one can find it. That profits no one though. Meh I may just tell them to give it to the animal shelter and be done. I don't know.
You'd have to check your state's intestate statute, but 99.99% it's likely your intestate statute would have everything you own be evenly split between your parents.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 14, 2013, 07:38:25 PM
You'd have to check your state's intestate statute, but 99.99% it's likely your intestate statute would have everything you own be evenly split between your parents.
Lol my mother gets the laptop and router while my dad gets the PS3 and PSP. They can fight over what clothes of mine they want.
I don't know why I even click out of the BANNED thread, I end up going right back in!
Quote from: Joules on October 14, 2013, 09:33:06 PM
He he he
Just walk away for a while.
You know that's easier said than done. ;)
Amy
Quote from: Shantel on October 13, 2013, 11:12:41 AM
You could have had a part in a period piece film. Funny how so many trans women start out with a face full of hair just trying to play their assigned role. Good photo, want to see that in before and after eventually!
Your wish is my command, malayteir!
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 14, 2013, 09:00:29 PM
I don't know why I even click out of the BANNED thread, I end up going right back in!
Perhaps a support group for people addicted to the BANNED thread...
I'm wondering if it's possible that some arcane experiment took place which I wasn't aware of, by some genetics-obsessed professor in a secret underground bunker somewhere. Because a moth just landed on my keyboard which was so huge I swear it was part bat.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 14, 2013, 11:48:32 PM
I'm wondering if it's possible that some arcane experiment took place which I wasn't aware of, by some genetics-obsessed professor in a secret underground bunker somewhere. Because a moth just landed on my keyboard which was so huge I swear it was part bat.
Sorry about that, I'll send an assistant to retrieve it.
Quote from: Kristal on October 15, 2013, 12:14:42 AM
Sorry about that, I'll send an assistant to retrieve it.
LOL
That would be appreciated, thank you. ;D
Quote from: Just Princess of Oblique Muffin Tops with a Death Ray! on October 14, 2013, 11:45:58 PM
Perhaps a support group for people addicted to the BANNED thread...
How dare you suggest such a thing? BAN thread addiction is perfectly healthy. :icon_twisted:
Amy
Stressed out for no reason. But mum spoke to a therapist today (about me) and things are slowly sorting themselves out around my life which is good. And it SNOWED today so I'm like super meh about going outside. o.o
What are honey crisp apples? Sounds tasty actually.
You had me on honey.
I came home to a friend having snuck into my apartment, making a blueberry pie with vanilla ice cream. So so much win.
Quote from: Malachite on October 14, 2013, 08:22:03 PM
Lol my mother gets the laptop and router while my dad gets the PS3 and PSP. They can fight over what clothes of mine they want.
You're not planning to check out on us are you?
Every time I am at my brother's house I wake up with a sore throat and some mucus...wonder if I have an allergy to something in here. =/ No way am I getting another cold. Not possible. And why would it always be at his house if it was a virus?
Tomorrow I'm in for a crazy day.
I still haven't straightened my hair, and I'm starting too look like a mixture of Johnny Deep and Elena Bonham Carter in Sweeney Todd. I just don't want to do it before bed time since it needs some time to set, and after the gym it will take a form again, so I'm going to go out with a rather crazy look.
And after that... Laser day.
Wondering how long it takes for Crazy Factory to deliver their orders in mail... We made one day before yesterday with my fiancé to get some new piercing stuff and I want my glow-in-the-dark expansion tunnel and ball for my lip piercing already! :D
On another note, it's nice to draw someone else's character for a change.
Especially when the said character is quite yummy, hnnnngggh.
I wish I had the courage to actually try and do a project.. I start to start and then just psych myself out before I even start.
I'm thinking I am ravenously hungry and I really need to stop thinking about food. >_<
I'm thinking that I need to clean my dorm room and hide the evidence* of my bad behavior before my parents come down to visit Sunday.
*shove in my closet
Thinking I should get dressed and get some gardening done.
Going home with mixed feelings. What if I lose my home due to lack of income? Where will I go?
Quote from: LordKAT on October 16, 2013, 07:14:15 AM
Going home with mixed feelings. What if I lose my home due to lack of income? Where will I go?
Can you take in room renters? Several years ago there was a woman here whose plan was to buy house in a major city and renting rooms to other trans women only. She would select one stable, trustworthy individual to be the house mother. It sounded like a great idea but the drama would be more than I could deal with. I hope things pan out for you dear!
No spare rooms and I'm not someone you or anyone would want to live with for long.
Looking for women's shorts that are not tights. I need to minimise the bulge...
I wonder who started this "name a game without the letter E" post in Tumblr and dared to add "difficulty level: impossible" to it as well... There are loads of game titles without the letter E. I could come up with six.
Also, it does matter what kinda coffee maker is used. Our coffee maker does relatively good coffee but it's nothing compared to the divine piece of machinery Mom and stepdad have.
Orwell's 1984 is making me even more paranoid than i already know i am.
I'm sitting here trying to write something serious, but I'm listening to Miley Cyrus in the headphones. Something doesn't line up here.
Quote from: Joules on October 16, 2013, 03:34:09 PM
His only mistake was falling short by 30 years.
i know.
That I picked the right friends when she basically asks me "omg what song is this?" to every song I play. In a good way.
..... and I'm playing My Little Pony songs.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 16, 2013, 04:23:25 PM
That I picked the right friends when she basically asks me "omg what song is this?" to every song I play. In a good way.
..... and I'm playing My Little Pony songs.
Nice!! ;D Definitely a good choice in friend.
Quote from: caleb. on October 16, 2013, 04:32:24 PM
Nice!! ;D Definitely a good choice in friend.
I know right! It makes me so happy!! She makes me cake and cleans my apartment when I power nap. Definitely a keeper.
She is going out with a guy for a few hours now, karaoke night.
She has three options:
Tshirt with "I love Bambi" and a big Bambi logo
Tshirt with "Best friends" and Spongebob and Patrick
Tshirt with "Omnomnom" and Cookie Monster
.... casuality is the key!!
PS: Nevermind. She found a 4th tshirt. I was like "so what does that one read?" and she's like "guess" and I'm like "I don't know".. turns out it literally reads GUESS on it. Oh my lord we are laughing so hard.
this state is way too small
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on October 16, 2013, 03:20:44 PM
Orwell's 1984 is making me even more paranoid than i already know i am.
I love that book. It was the only book I was eager to read in high school (beside the Scarlet Letter)
I have about a week to make this (my picture) costume. I hope I can finish it in time.
omg when is my transcript going to come in? I'm going to check the mail. Hopefully it's in.
Edit:
I got it....wtf I can't open it! My sister says transcripts have always been like that but still....can't believe I spent $7.00 and .50 for the bus ride to get a piece of mail I can't even open....wtf.
I feel like one of those old cartoons where I literally turn into a sucker.
Quote from: Malachite on October 16, 2013, 06:35:06 PM
omg when is my transcript going to come in? I'm going to check the mail. Hopefully it's in.
Edit:
I got it....wtf I can't open it! My sister says transcripts have always been like that but still....can't believe I spent $7.00 and .50 for the bus ride to get a piece of mail I can't even open....wtf.
I feel like one of those old cartoons where I literally turn into a sucker.
Lol, yes, I hate that too! It's like, what did I just pay for? :D
Transcripts should just be automatically included in your tuition. It's just like another punch on the face. . . let's pay a bunch of money to go to school, then whoops! let me just hand over some more so I can prove I finished!
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 16, 2013, 06:46:36 PM
Lol, yes, I hate that too! It's like, what did I just pay for? :D
Transcripts should just be automatically included in your tuition. It's just like another punch on the face. . . let's pay a bunch of money to go to school, then whoops! let me just hand over some more so I can prove I finished!
Agreed. What a waste of my time. If I don't get that job, I'm going to ask them to mail that transcript back to me! I'm irritated now.
I don't even know what to say....wow and I have to send this out EVERY time I apply for a job? I hope not! If I send out hundreds of resumes with an official transcript for ever job, I've dumped over $700 in them
oh my....
Good morning! ;D
Geez, I can't believe no one posted here since I went to bed.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 17, 2013, 04:31:46 AM
Good morning! ;D
Geez, I can't believe no one posted here since I went to bed.
Well I would have but with double posting and all.... >.>
Morning to you too!
That having your eyebrows profesionally plucked is THE way to learn to block out pain. Great results but aaahhh lol.
Just realized I'm two months and two days post-op today, lol... Time does fly.
And we got out first snow today!
...It'll probably melt away by tomorrow but WHO CARES IT'S THE FIRST SNOW.
Today I'm meeting the gym's director (A friend of the LGBT association's therapist), to see if we can find a workaround for my condition and the locker rooms. Not feeling very confident. I'm going to retouch my makeup, but I don't like having the same one from the morning.
I hate living north of the arctic circle. :/ Frozen water ugh.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 17, 2013, 06:33:05 AM
That having your eyebrows profesionally plucked is THE way to learn to block out pain. Great results but aaahhh lol.
For me getting it done profesionally with wax + plucking is heaven. Doing it by myself is hell, and a lot of the hair is getting so transparent I can't see it unless in certain light conditions (And it's nearly unpluckable).
What is my problem? I have 2 count them 2 cisfemale friends I chat with over distances. And several cismale buddies I work with. I prefer the company of my co workers but just met a bunch of transwomen and would love to get to know them better. Ughhh am I a freak and will my friends think I'm chasing transwomen only because of my experience with my daughter. And why the hell am I posting this because it sounds sexist?
I don't understand anything in that Unaffordable Health Care thread. I'm still on my mom's insurance. The general vibe that I seem to be picking up from that thread is that we're (Americans) ad screwed. No offense do to anyone.
I believe a man (and when I say man I mean myself only) should have three tuxedos: a white tuxedo, a black tuxedo, and a lavender tuxedo.
I spent three hours trying to catch a Pikachu. Then six of the daft things showed up in quick succession. :(
Stupid german railroad system.......
Removed objectionable images
Quote from: ZoeM on October 17, 2013, 09:53:36 AM
I spent three hours trying to catch a Pikachu. Then six of the daft things showed up in quick succession. :(
Yup...
I love bread :)
Quote from: Joules on October 17, 2013, 04:43:28 AM
We've been awaiting the reply to the question about which small state you are from.
Rhode Island, the smallest state in the country.
I'm subtly trying to imply that I'd appreciate if my fiancé quit smoking, too...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.tumblr.com%2F9c63b512fcfdb8a03ae927cf57bbd868%2Ftumblr_inline_mutyseA7tq1rxp7yu.jpg&hash=4f54422bc9648c8d70e217ccefa8c300b11e8842)
VERY SUBTLY.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.tumblr.com%2F328aaea35a5e640a9e1610d013a37890%2Ftumblr_inline_mutz0g6Tel1rxp7yu.jpg&hash=3c1c43c98bd782240ed99770de015cf40eb41043)
Now that they removed the activation limit, i am finally motivated to play Arkham Asylum and Arkham City again.
I have to register my son for kindergarden next year. I have never done this before and getting information in this city is more difficult than it needs to be.
I hate having a penis! Just going to pee is a chore. Cis women are getting in and out faster than me because I have to tuck my meat sack and penis so that I dont have this ugly bulge. Being trans sucks!
Steak tastes best from sacred cow.
Hope I washed this salad good enough.
Quote from: tbunny on October 17, 2013, 09:33:03 AM
What is my problem? I have 2 count them 2 cisfemale friends I chat with over distances. And several cismale buddies I work with. I prefer the company of my co workers but just met a bunch of transwomen and would love to get to know them better. Ughhh am I a freak and will my friends think I'm chasing transwomen only because of my experience with my daughter. And why the hell am I posting this because it sounds sexist?
You are not a freak!!! You are an AMAZING parent ;D
I don't even know what I am thinking right now
Quote from: Malachite on October 17, 2013, 08:17:33 PM
Hope I washed this salad good enough.
Did it taste good?
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 17, 2013, 10:29:43 PM
I don't even know what I am thinking right now
Did it taste good?
lol yes
I can't believe how small these adult shirts run. I am actually going to be buying a large instead of the small I normally get.
I've been looking for an opportunity to wear this, but I still look like a bodybuilding woman.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FHGOd6Xc.jpg&hash=40eae7573581b02a37f0728b2d6c8de018c487e6)
I'm seeing that I left it for too long on top of the TV and now I'll have to iron it. :eusa_doh:
Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 17, 2013, 09:07:39 AM
For me getting it done profesionally with wax + plucking is heaven. Doing it by myself is hell, and a lot of the hair is getting so transparent I can't see it unless in certain light conditions (And it's nearly unpluckable).
Yeah doing it yourself is much much worse, I got a fringe so usually I just leave them. They're very broad and busy though. And I was so scared she'd start on my 'stache too, thankfully she didn't :p
(That top would look great on you if you tack it up a bit with a simple open jacket!!)
I'm finding TV and videogames more awkward (but especially live-action TV). I mean I already know that the people on it are actually just pretending to be other people. What happens off-camera never actually happens.
I find it especially awkward when they show emotional, parent-child bonding/life lesson teaching/whatever. That's not really you're dad!!!!!!
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 18, 2013, 05:32:45 AM
(That top would look great on you if you tack it up a bit with a simple open jacket!!)
Maybe in November. My only jacket is too open and wide on the top and makes me look like I am naked with this one. I obviously always wear it with normal tops and a foulard or scarf...
Ooooooh I got my Sleeping Dogs back, maybe I should give it a whirl once again... It's way too fun to drive along Hong Kong's streets and wreak havoc. |D
Quote from: Keaira Raine on October 17, 2013, 06:44:08 PM
I hate having a penis! Just going to pee is a chore. Cis women are getting in and out faster than me because I have to tuck my meat sack and penis so that I dont have this ugly bulge. Being trans sucks!
*cuts it off and feeds it to my dogs* lol
I think the UFC Prelims come on tommorrow night. If so, I'll finally have a reason to drink my energy drink!
High school athletics are an absurd throwback to an obsolete schooling paradigm.
Wow....a lot of interesting things on tv to come on. Totally watching the UFC Prelims tommorrow as well as the surfing competition! I'm watching Bellator fighting championships tonight but I'm saving my drink for the UFC prelims tommorrow. May hit up a chat room when it's going on to see other guys talk about it. Though I probably won't talk, it might help me feel more manly and help curb a bit of the lonliness. Of course, it can't beat having someone here to watch it in person with BUT we just got to make due.
I got invited to come to the local pride group's young adult hangout night. It's in 15 minutes and I'm currently sitting on the couch terrified to go. My chest hurts and I'm shaking and scared. I don't know why, I guess I'm just afraid everyone is going to hate me or something.
Quote from: Darkie on October 18, 2013, 06:44:08 PM
I got invited to come to the local pride group's young adult hangout night. It's in 15 minutes and I'm currently sitting on the couch terrified to go. My chest hurts and I'm shaking and scared. I don't know why, I guess I'm just afraid everyone is going to hate me or something.
I hope you're giving it a try now<3 Pretty sure that nobody will hate you just like that, keep your signature in mind and go if you still want to :)
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 18, 2013, 07:01:35 PM
I hope you're giving it a try now<3 Pretty sure that nobody will hate you just like that, keep your signature in mind and go if you still want to :)
Agreed. ^_^ I'd say go. I wish there there were some LBGT support groups near me.
I'm thinking that I kind of regret selling my WWE spinning belt....granted yeah it was just the syrafoam and plastic version but I still miss it. It will be probably worth something later. Then again, maybe not, but hey, I needed the extra money to put into my top surgery fund. We got to do what we got to do sometimes. -sigh-.
Had a blast, met some new people and made a new friend. She didn't know about Susans so she copied the url and hopefully she will make an account! All in all I'm really glad I went.
At this moment, I'm looking at my tuition bill thinking "What have I learned to justify this?!"
In my head, I'd like to start a rebellion. In reality, I'll probably take out another loan :P
Quote from: Darkie on October 18, 2013, 10:00:51 PM
Had a blast, met some new people and made a new friend. She didn't know about Susans so she copied the url and hopefully she will make an account! All in all I'm really glad I went.
I'm glad you had a great time! :)
I'm thinking about buying a PS3 on Black Friday as a back up PS3 if my current one crashes. I've seem the Gamestop Black Friday ad and they had a good deal on a 250 gig ps3. Then again, I would like to upgrade to a 500 gig ps3, which seems harder to find at Gamestop. However, for a broke unemployed college graduate trying to save for top surgery, they may not be in my best interest (though if my PS3 goes out, I'll just buy another one anyways). I'll see what happens.
hahahaha typing this on my ps3! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I let way too much stuff accumulate in my room! It's annoying. -_- But trying to pare down what I want to get rid of is surprisingly hard. I get overwhelmed.
Quote from: Malachite on October 19, 2013, 12:04:07 AM
hahahaha typing this on my ps3! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
We didn't mention the Susan's DLC, did we..?
$5 per letter if you post more than 20 times in a day. We call it the "Bonus Expression Package." And it's all for your benefit. Who wouldn't want to pay to post more than they can previously do for free? Also, we're going to remove the letter "a" from all posts, and plan to charge a fee of $15 to be allowed to use it. We're really very proud of that, and we call it the "Grade-A Premium Package."
Oh... wait...
Yeah, sorry... we turned down the affiliation with Capcom.
I wish I had some heat. And some company. I'm so cold....
I had such a nice day, shopping as Francis, new friends & addes some nice dresses to wardrope. Love a new little black dress.
And I set up a new facebook page which is great, no more using my old page, I'll use this from now on to connect & share with friends. That will be great, most of my friends are a very long distance away & we rarely ever can meet face to face.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 19, 2013, 12:11:49 AM
We didn't mention the Susan's DLC, did we..?
$5 per letter if you post more than 20 times in a day. We call it the "Bonus Expression Package." And it's all for your benefit. Who wouldn't want to pay to post more than they can previously do for free? Also, we're going to remove the letter "a" from all posts, and plan to charge a fee of $15 to be allowed to use it. We're really very proud of that, and we call it the "Grade-A Premium Package."
Oh... wait...
Yeah, sorry... we turned down the affiliation with Capcom.
I hate Capcom with all their disc-locked nonesense. THQ and EA are just as bad as Capcom and if Ubisoft continues on the path they are on with constantly delaying gamess, they will be on that list too.
Chili oil up your nose is a great way to clear your sinuses. :'(
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 19, 2013, 08:31:16 AM
Chili oil up your nose is a great way to clear your sinuses. :'(
I dunno if I'd want to after you've been eating kimchi Henry!
Thinking about Halloween and whether to ask a friend of mine what she'll be doing or not. I kind of want to have a scary movie marathon, lots of noms and dress up but I'm also kind of scared I'll be dragged into a big group of people or something. o.o
Got called into work tonight (yay!) but I need to do so much cleaning...
can't enjoy the prelims tonight when I know a bunch of screaming, crying, sick babies are going to be over for my mom to watch while the church members are out working for a football game.
GRRRRRRRR my man night is going to be ruined....
Rollerskating on Pokemon to hatch eggs is so much more fun with good music. Yay for Of Monsters and Men.
Thinking I would look awesome in a white robe and gold plated armor.
Quote from: Malachite on October 19, 2013, 01:33:01 PM
Thinking I would look awesome in a white robe and gold plated armor.
Agreed. And you'd have to upload photos.
I'm thinking that it's kind of silly how I have to spend my Saturday evening filling in forms for the military. Blah deadlines.
Started using this Bio-Oil stuff on my top surgery scars to - hopefully - make them even out and lighten in color. My fiancé had some positive experiences herself when she used it, she saw difference in just couple days. :o
Now if I just remember to use it twice a day as it says in the label...
UFC prelims are on finally! Wish I was watching this while having a philly cheesesteak at Hooters with some guys but I will have to make due.
Ostomy care is a royal pain in the gut.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 19, 2013, 07:36:57 PM
Ostomy care is a royal pain in the gut.
Poor baby..((hugs))
Watching the women fight in UFC. I believe this is my first time watching them. It's freaking awesome!
Now I'm thinking about Black Friday.
Now I'm thinking about how often some people think about me here. I know I think about a few people here that I don't really speak to, but their posts stick out to me for some reason. I wonder if it's like thatwith me. I wonder if there are some lurkers that will come on here and make sure they look at my posts to see what I have to say. I know I do that to a certain person in another forum (yeah creepy I know-oh well) so I wonder if that happens to me. I have a compulsion of thinking highly of myself when in reality it just makes me seem like a D-bag. I wouldn't doubt it. I like to think of myself as a king.
I wonder when the Best Buy Black Friday ads will be leaked as well as the Walmart Black Friday ads.
When I click on people's profiles and it says they are sending a message I wonder who they are sending it too and what are they saying. When someone is posting a new topic, I eagerly await for the topic, even though I my never reply.
Five minutes went by since I wrote the last post. A giant wasp came out of nowhere. I whacked it with a broom but fell and I don't know where it fell and I don't want to check. I hope it's dead. Probably not but I hope so.
I wonder how the refs would handle the women fighters if they got cut badly. Hopefully the same as they would male fighters.
I actually think about you quite a bit too Malachite. I've followed your posts long enough to kinda know what you're like, so, it's easy to think "Malachite would like this" or something.
Funnily enough...I've never seen your face yet I feel like I know what you look like. But in actuality all I know is that you're Black, and the same height as I am.
<<<<<<< well here I am :D A picture from last year. Now you two can have a face to go along with my posts. :) I used to post a lot in the bad A section but I removed all of the pictures since. Only about a couple of people even commented so I just basically said screw it....plus with that lunatic of a banned blogger I didn't want to take any chance, though I haven't even transitioned yet lol.
Quote from: caleb. on October 19, 2013, 10:48:43 PM
I actually think about you quite a bit too Malachite. I've followed your posts long enough to kinda know what you're like, so, it's easy to think "Malachite would like this" or something.
Funnily enough...I've never seen your face yet I feel like I know what you look like. But in actuality all I know is that you're Black, and the same height as I am.
"All i know is that you're black" LOL that was funny! I thought you've seen me though surprisingly.
Quote from: Liam Erik on October 19, 2013, 10:46:22 PM
I think about you all the time, Malachite. You have a very distinctive voice and you post personally, unabashedly, with detail, and often, which makes it easy for me to picture you in my head and carry you around with me (if I may). I mean this in a good way. I'm glad you share your internal monologue with us.
I'm honestly surprised to hear that from you (in a good way) because I know we don't speak that much so that touched me. I didnt' think my posts were that complex because I don't think of myself as a really engaging person.
Quote from: Malachite on October 19, 2013, 11:03:21 PM
"All i know is that you're black" LOL that was funny! I thought you've seen me though surprisingly.
I meant in terms of your appearance! lmao. Because you've mentioned being black, but not much else in terms of how you look.
Oh! I have seen that picture you have as your avatar. I was like "WHY CAN I PICTURE HIS FACE SO CLEARLY WHEN I'VE NEVER SEEN IT?" I felt totes creep.
Quote from: Malachite on October 19, 2013, 11:03:21 PM
I didnt' think my posts were that complex because I don't think of myself as a really engaging person.
I can remember it like it was yesterday (because it was lol) but you were so nice to me on my first day on Susans and I found your responses really engaging. I'm probably not qualified to say so but I think you stand out-in a good way! :)
Quote from: caleb. on October 19, 2013, 11:07:58 PM
I meant in terms of your appearance! lmao. Because you've mentioned being black, but not much else in terms of how you look.
Oh! I have seen that picture you have as your avatar. I was like "WHY CAN I PICTURE HIS FACE SO CLEARLY WHEN I'VE NEVER SEEN IT?" I felt totes creep.
Lol I thought you have. I was starting to feel horrible and thought to myself "wow, I'm such a horrible person that I haven't made the effort to show caleb. what I look like. After all he's done for me....how could I not " I really started to feel bad.
Quote from: Shaina on October 19, 2013, 11:30:05 PM
I can remember it like it was yesterday (because it was lol) but you were so nice to me on my first day on Susans and I found your responses really engaging. I'm probably not qualified to say so but I think you stand out-in a good way! :)
Awww well thanks! That means a lot to me. If you need more time to make a qualified decision, you can go through the other 10,325 posts of mine. :D
Quote from: Malachite on October 19, 2013, 11:03:21 PM
plus with that lunatic of a banned blogger I didn't want to take any chance
Out of curiosity, what's the story here? Sounds like an unpleasant bit of site history. :-\
Quote from: Just Gwynne! on October 20, 2013, 12:13:20 AM
Out of curiosity, what's the story here? Sounds like an unpleasant bit of site history. :-\
There's an feminist out there who attacks FtMs and their transitions. She likes to take pictures of transguys and post them up on her blog for others to shame. She's always attacking the FtM surgeries and say FtMs are still women no matter what. Her blog has been considered so dangerous and triggering that we can't even mention the name here without it being edited out.
Quote from: Malachite on October 20, 2013, 12:22:37 AM
There's an feminist out there who attacks FtMs and their transitions. She likes to take pictures of transguys and post them up on her blog for others to shame. She's always attacking the FtM surgeries and say FtMs are still women no matter what. Her blog has been considered so dangerous and triggering that we can't even mention the name here without it being edited out.
I think I saw that site when I was looking for this one. It wasn't even the pictures or the articles that were so bad-though those were pretty awful-but the comments of her followers! Omgosh do NOT look it up. Satisfying your curiosity is not worth sullying your mind.
Quote from: Shaina on October 20, 2013, 12:38:31 AM
I think I saw that site when I was looking for this one. It wasn't even the pictures or the articles that were so bad-though those were pretty awful-but the comments of her followers! Omgosh do NOT look it up. Satisfying your curiosity is not worth sullying your mind.
Lol yeah if one hangs out arond the FtM community long enough, they will hear about her. I agree those comments can be downright cruel. Some people just don't have lives (says the guy with over 10 thousand posts lol)
Oh and I didn't killthat wasp....it's still living >.>
Quote from: Malachite on October 20, 2013, 12:22:37 AM
There's an feminist out there who attacks FtMs and their transitions. She likes to take pictures of transguys and post them up on her blog for others to shame. She's always attacking the FtM surgeries and say FtMs are still women no matter what. Her blog has been considered so dangerous and triggering that we can't even mention the name here without it being edited out.
That's wretched :(
Indeed
Quote from: Malachite on October 20, 2013, 12:22:37 AM
There's an feminist out there who attacks FtMs and their transitions. She likes to take pictures of transguys and post them up on her blog for others to shame. She's always attacking the FtM surgeries and say FtMs are still women no matter what. Her blog has been considered so dangerous and triggering that we can't even mention the name here without it being edited out.
We've got a few of those on the MtF side too, some of which do double duty and attack ALL trans people.
I don't understand what drives people to that level of hatred, and I hope I never will.
By the way, Malachite, whenever I read your name I think of this guy (also named Malachite) from Suburban Knights: (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.primaryignition.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FSuburban-Knights-08-e1317691167130.jpg&hash=54de4846f46516d5278becd261524953b0e6e959)
It's a really great independent adventure/comedy miniseries. It's free to watch online, here's a link to the first part:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/31491-suburban-knights-part-1
And now for something completely different. My tits are really tender, and they're making my normal gaming position extremely uncomfortable.
I really must have something weird on my head If after watching this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-9HML0SRwYO4%2FUaub_gTWSSI%2FAAAAAAAASrQ%2Fk74XeXFE4qw%2Fs1600%2FTetsuo_1988.jpg&hash=fb7e37064bff4aab3d9171342b14b5a6f75b7623)
Now I'm looking for:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcf2.imgobject.com%2Ft%2Fp%2Foriginal%2FxZh9BOhps8LFVe2cigj9D1NNZDF.jpg&hash=4c29b8b5f1a2c612744b9952600a0d56b6ab79d2) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Felfilmedehoy.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F02%2Ftetsuo1.jpg&hash=3acae5a0b4719918f25154306a454eb05972cddf)
At the stables. Listening to the sound of horses eating their hay. It's such a relaxing sound. I love it.
Quote from: Kristal on October 20, 2013, 03:43:10 AM
We've got a few of those on the MtF side too, some of which do double duty and attack ALL trans people.
I don't understand what drives people to that level of hatred, and I hope I never will.
By the way, Malachite, whenever I read your name I think of this guy (also named Malachite) from Suburban Knights: (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.primaryignition.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FSuburban-Knights-08-e1317691167130.jpg&hash=54de4846f46516d5278becd261524953b0e6e959)
It's a really great independent adventure/comedy miniseries. It's free to watch online, here's a link to the first part:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/31491-suburban-knights-part-1
And now for something completely different. My tits are really tender, and they're making my normal gaming position extremely uncomfortable.
loved that one. One of the reviewers name is LordKat, which is quite a funny coincidence
Quote from: Kristal on October 20, 2013, 03:43:10 AM
We've got a few of those on the MtF side too, some of which do double duty and attack ALL trans people.
I don't understand what drives people to that level of hatred, and I hope I never will.
By the way, Malachite, whenever I read your name I think of this guy (also named Malachite) from Suburban Knights: (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.primaryignition.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FSuburban-Knights-08-e1317691167130.jpg&hash=54de4846f46516d5278becd261524953b0e6e959)
It's a really great independent adventure/comedy miniseries. It's free to watch online, here's a link to the first part:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/31491-suburban-knights-part-1
And now for something completely different. My tits are really tender, and they're making my normal gaming position extremely uncomfortable.
Yeah I think I've heard of some of those bloggers on the MTF side. I must admit some of them are scary in a "I'm power-hungry, get to the top by any means, including dirty tactics" type of way.
It's the first time someone has related my name to Suburban Knights. I like the guy's jacket lol. His looks remind me of The Undertaker from WWE Most people tell me they either think about gemstones or some dude from Skyrim.
The Harvard campus is so confusing. I finally found where I am supposed to go, but now I don't know what I am going to do on our break for lunch, because I'll probably just wind up in a maze looking for a place to get lunch, and then just get lost on the way back.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 20, 2013, 08:49:22 AM
The Harvard campus is so confusing. I finally found where I am supposed to go, but now I don't know what I am going to do on our break for lunch, because I'll probably just wind up in a maze looking for a place to get lunch, and then just get lost on the way back.
Are you taking classes there?
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on October 20, 2013, 07:50:57 AM
loved that one. One of the reviewers name is LordKat, which is quite a funny coincidence
Haha, yeah! The first time I saw our LordKat's name I was like, "Wait, LordKat? He couldn't be- or could he?" Now I'm suspicious of everyone. I'm actually seriously wondering about Diamanda Hagan, mostly because Diamanda is an almost stereotypically transsexual name.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth05.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2FPRE%2Fi%2F2012%2F010%2F0%2F6%2Fzenith_and_diamanda_hagan_by_eframtrabbit-d4lw97v.jpg&hash=aaa086ebcbb5aca6f3f1336f7084ccd594ebb7e6)
That's her on the right. I more lovely vision I could not ask for.
Quote from: Kristal on October 20, 2013, 09:18:29 AM
Haha, yeah! The first time I saw our LordKat's name I was like, "Wait, LordKat? He couldn't be- or could he?" Now I'm suspicious of everyone. I'm actually seriously wondering about Diamanda Hagan, mostly because Diamanda is an almost stereotypically transsexual name.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth05.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2FPRE%2Fi%2F2012%2F010%2F0%2F6%2Fzenith_and_diamanda_hagan_by_eframtrabbit-d4lw97v.jpg&hash=aaa086ebcbb5aca6f3f1336f7084ccd594ebb7e6)
That's her on the right. I more lovely vision I could not ask for.
you're not the only one in the case of Diamanda. The first time i saw her and heard her voice i was all like: "Is she trans?"
I wish my mother would stop bugging me about going back to college. I made a deal with her....if she gets her associate's degree then I'll get my Bachelors, but I know she's not going to do that. Why can't she praise my sister who has a freaking masters in divinity and is going back for her PHd? She acts like she doesn't care about THAT? Why doesn't she tell my near-30 year old brother that he should go back to college? Granted, he's autistic yeah but that's no excuse because a guy I went to college with was autistic and my brothers very smart so I know he can do it too but nooooo, she wants to focus on ME. I will say that if I did go back to college, it would be to get my paralegal certificate. Unlikely though.
Quote from: Shantel on October 20, 2013, 08:57:38 AM
Are you taking classes there?
lol no, I am taking a MPRE review lecture here since the last time I took it I was one point away from the score I needed.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 20, 2013, 10:29:28 AM
lol no, I am taking a MPRE review lecture here since the last time I took it I was one point away from the score I needed.
Good luck!
flag for "pushing your own player"? that's just wrong
One hour without wifi and I felt so crippled. Ouch.
I've removed a lot of my male clothing from the wardrobe, but since I did not have where to store it, now it is under the bed...
Removing the clothing I won't wear again already felt as if somebody had died and I was packing the things of somebody who is not here anymore (not to mention realizing how much I have moved away from my old persona), but the clothes under the bed now?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-u3Wl0S8LaIk%2FTpHfWy_pqqI%2FAAAAAAAADD8%2F9QfzaucrPog%2Fs640%2Fghost-under-bed.jpg&hash=098195a2ebfc5a582c9025b5b8ad0b0dd452b2c0)
I feel like this.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 20, 2013, 05:18:15 PM
I hate wifi. I stick with a wired modem and keep my laptop at home. The only time I have used wi fi is if I am at someone else's place and that is what they use. Then I shake my head at how much of a headache it is.
Oh mine's usually great but recently it's been playing up. I am a bit restless and I tend to move the computer around too much for ethernet.. :laugh: But jah it can be a pain in the place the sun don't shine. As mine kindly demonstrated.
Impressed by people daring to clean out their wardrobes. I'm pretty sure someone could hide a body in mine and it would take a couple of years before anyone noticed.
Quote from: LearnedHand on October 20, 2013, 03:29:32 PM
flag for "pushing your own player"? that's just wrong
I agree, I thought that was a lame call and it cost the Patriots the game
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 20, 2013, 05:23:48 PM
I never did that. I just tossed all of my old clothes out. Most of it was so worn out (especially my death metal shirts) that there was no point in keeping them.
That's the problem. I care a lot for my clothing, and most of it is in perfect condition. I still have some attachment to a few T-Shirts (Which are in a separate box), but for the rest I need to find where is the closest donation centre, or ask friends...
But heck, is a dilemma. I don't like getting rid of expensive clothing, but at the same time I see it a temptation of going back to effeminate boy mode. Although at the current status, butch woman could be the closest result.
Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 20, 2013, 05:36:07 PM
That's the problem. I care a lot for my clothing, and most of it is in perfect condition. I still have some attachment to a few T-Shirts (Which are in a separate box), but for the rest I need to find where is the closest donation centre, or ask friends...
I think that's very considerate of you, to think of others that might benefit from clothes you may not need anymore.
And who knows, the recipient might be a trans guy and everything will come full circle! :)
Arms and legs are going to be sore tomorrow (goshdarned college fair!), and I've still got some work to do... Nngh, I'll try to get it done in the morning. Maybe. *Sigh*
That when you zoom out on where I live, it looks lovely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsXqqjd2OOs (50 seconds in)
You kind of get used to the mountains but from a distance they look great. *squee*
Ah, patriotic moments.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 21, 2013, 12:16:32 PM
That when you zoom out on where I live, it looks lovely.
You kind of get used to the mountains but from a distance they look great. *squee*
Ah, patriotic moments.
It's beautiful country. The extreme skiing is really nutty stuff though OMG!
Freaking out! My first time presenting as female out in public. Didn't have time to put any makeup on so I'm relying on my natural beauty to help pass. Sitting in the therapists parking lot calming myself down.
Someone is playing the saxaphone outside....I was starting to feel like Spike Spiegal until he played the National Anthem.
So in our municipal election, people are apparently allowed to have nicknames. One guy marketed himself as a school board trustee as "*girl's* Dad". In other words, his entire foundation for his campaign strategy was being a father. We also have a law that says you can't have any campaigning or endorsements for any candidate close to a voting station. Well, RIGHT on the ballot, he has his real name, and then in brackets "girl's Dad".
That's undemocratic! It's campaigning not just near the voting station, but on the actual ballot! I'm appalled that this was allowed to take place. People use "family" to appeal to people's interests - he established himself as a "family man" from day one, and labelling himself that way on the ballot is just another form of political marketing. There are people who are going to think "right! The dad! Wow, he is really committed to family values, I want that person on the board."
It's unfair. I'm seriously considering consulting the city.
Quote from: caleb. on October 21, 2013, 05:03:14 PM
So in our municipal election, people are apparently allowed to have nicknames. One guy marketed himself as a school board trustee as "*girl's* Dad". In other words, his entire foundation for his campaign strategy was being a father. We also have a law that says you can't have any campaigning or endorsements for any candidate close to a voting station. Well, RIGHT on the ballot, he has his real name, and then in brackets "girl's Dad".
That's undemocratic! It's campaigning not just near the voting station, but on the actual ballot! I'm appalled that this was allowed to take place. People use "family" to appeal to people's interests - he established himself as a "family man" from day one, and labelling himself that way on the ballot is just another form of political marketing. There are people who are going to think "right! The dad! Wow, he is really committed to family values, I want that person on the board."
It's unfair. I'm seriously considering consulting the city.
The fact that that would have an effect on someone's vote is one of the many reasons democracy, as it is, is not the way to get the person that represents the people into office. People who cannot think on their own should not vote, they're not even helping themselves except maybe by chance.
I can pretty much guarantee a good portion of Nenshi's votes will come from people who just think he's cool regardless of his policy.
Tried to kill a spider with posion. It didn't work so I just hit it with my sandal. What a waste of posion.
Stupid driving instructor stood me up. I want to smash her with my shoe.
Quote from: Malachite on October 21, 2013, 05:41:06 PM
Tried to kill a spider with posion. It didn't work so I just hit it with my sandal. What a waste of posion.
With a perfectly serviceable spider smooshing sandal good for multiple repeats too!
Quote from: Malachite on October 21, 2013, 05:41:06 PM
Stupid driving instructor stood me up. I want to smash her with my shoe.
Is she a spider? ;D
Quote from: Malachite on October 21, 2013, 05:41:06 PM
Stupid driving instructor stood me up. I want to smash her with my shoe.
Don't get mad, get even.
When you
do have a lesson, drive to the nearest public toilet, tell her you'll be right back, take the keys with you, and then settle down for the longest bowel movement in history. Take a magazine with you for good measure.
...
You should probably ignore that. It's wrong to encourage that sort of thing. It's just what I'd probably do. *shifty look*
Quote from: <3 on October 21, 2013, 05:34:43 PM
The fact that that would have an effect on someone's vote is one of the many reasons democracy, as it is, is not the way to get the person that represents the people into office. People who cannot think on their own should not vote, they're not even helping themselves except maybe by chance.
I know...we actually discussed this general idea (the efficacy of democracy - unrelated to municipal elections) in a number of the classes I teach. Especially with the upcoming federal election - how many people will vote (or not vote) for Trudeau simply because of his last name?
Quote from: Shantel on October 21, 2013, 05:45:05 PM
With a perfectly serviceable spider smooshing sandal good for multiple repeats too!
Is she a spider? ;D
Detective Shantel! Such an observant mind!
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 21, 2013, 05:52:36 PM
Detective Shantel! Such an observant mind!
Just a little humor! :D
Quote from: Shantel on October 21, 2013, 05:45:05 PM
With a perfectly serviceable spider smooshing sandal good for multiple repeats too!
Is she a spider? ;D
She might as well be a spider. I think the one I killed is still at the bottom of my shoe too.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 21, 2013, 05:47:46 PM
Don't get mad, get even.
When you do have a lesson, drive to the nearest public toilet, tell her you'll be right back, take the keys with you, and then settle down for the longest bowel movement in history. Take a magazine with you for good measure.
...
You should probably ignore that. It's wrong to encourage that sort of thing. It's just what I'd probably do. *shifty look*
Lol. I'll probably call up there tommorrow to see if I can request another instructor.
Quote from: caleb. on October 21, 2013, 05:51:57 PM
I know...we actually discussed this general idea (the efficacy of democracy - unrelated to municipal elections) in a number of the classes I teach. Especially with the upcoming federal election - how many people will vote (or not vote) for Trudeau simply because of his last name?
What's the solution? One idea, have everyone vote on specific issues giving weighted values to each based on importance to the voter. Those issues then become decided upon until the next election. As to who runs the country the rest of the time, whoever's stance on said issues is closest to the majority weighted vote wins. Am I crazy or might it actually work? Then you're not voting for a face or a party because you like the color of their poster or the mole on the guys face or how many babies he kissed, you're voting for what you actually care about.
Quote from: Malachite on October 21, 2013, 05:41:06 PM
Tried to kill a spider with posion. It didn't work so I just hit it with my sandal. What a waste of posion.
Stupid driving instructor stood me up. I want to smash her with my shoe.
Oh ->-bleeped-<-, everybody hide! Malachite's got the
T-Rage! ;)
Quote from: <3 on October 21, 2013, 06:11:28 PM
Then you're not voting for a face or a party because you like the color of their poster or the mole on the guys face or how many babies he kissed, you're voting for what you actually care about.
Yes, that'd be nice! This Princeton psychologist (his names escapes me along with most useful information) did a study that showed people on the street could pick the winner of an election based on a headshot with something like 75% accuracy. And Scientific American had an article that proposed we can even tell Democrats from Republicans in this way. So who needs to know a politician's platform? I need a leader with good cheekbones! ;D
Quote from: Shaina on October 21, 2013, 06:41:54 PM
Yes, that'd be nice! This Princeton psychologist (his names escapes me along with most useful information) did a study that showed people on the street could pick the winner of an election based on a headshot with something like 75% accuracy. And Scientific American had an article that proposed we can even tell Democrats from Republicans in this way. So who needs to know a politician's platform? I need a leader with good cheekbones! ;D
Hmmm....maybe you should run for office. I'm guessing republican based on that headshot. ;)
Quote from: <3 on October 21, 2013, 06:43:44 PM
Hmmm....maybe you should run for office. I'm guessing republican based on that headshot. ;)
Awww shucks! Let's be running mates :)
A local radio station's idea,
QuoteI'd like to see an election where everyone in the city joins E-Harmony and fills out the 29 dimensions that they are looking for in said official, whoever is the most compatible with everyone wins.
My heart keeps making a loud clicking noise with every heartbeat. I have no idea why but it drives me nuts. Bluuurgh.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 21, 2013, 07:20:50 PM
My heart keeps making a loud clicking noise with every heartbeat. I have no idea why but it drives me nuts. Bluuurgh.
Oh no! Are you feeling okay? Maybe you should have that checked out, just in case.
Feeling just fine, just cut out some medication completely so might be it. Having a talk with my doctor tomorrow, but right now it's a tie between freaking me out and annoying me. Hurrrr.
Quote from: <3 on October 21, 2013, 06:11:28 PM
What's the solution? One idea, have everyone vote on specific issues giving weighted values to each based on importance to the voter. Those issues then become decided upon until the next election. As to who runs the country the rest of the time, whoever's stance on said issues is closest to the majority weighted vote wins. Am I crazy or might it actually work? Then you're not voting for a face or a party because you like the color of their poster or the mole on the guys face or how many babies he kissed, you're voting for what you actually care about.
I actually think that could work well. Less "marketing" of the politician that way.
Quote from: caleb. on October 21, 2013, 09:01:17 PM
I actually think that could work well. Less "marketing" of the politician that way.
I'd miss the mass marketing. It's only a matter of time before candidates debate with rap battles aired on reality shows documenting their campaigns. :D
Just wondering who..I am and what I am suppose to do with my life. School is going well and I love ASL but...when I am out of school.. Then what? Bills are piling up and work issues are making me not know how much I am getting paid on Friday. I'm just sitting here..playing pokemon..
I passed to a girl I met, she thought I was gay (whatever, I can deal) and then someone decided to tell her I was trans. Now she always calls me she. -_- Thanks people.
I think in the future, when I pass 100% (as in) and could go almost unquestionably stealth, I will change my last name. Since certain "friends" and family like to leak information without thinking about the consequences. I don't think they realize I am living 100% as male.
Toda y I ran out of of breakfast foods. No cereal, muffins, whatever. So I had a slice of integral bread and two pieces of fruit, before the coffee. And that felt oddly good. Usually I keep the fruit for the mid -morning snack...
So warm at work. Melting away. Outside there's large piles of snow. Ugh!
It's nearly six months, and maybe it's time to make my first timeline. It's not a lot of changes, but I need to do it. The problem is going to be achecking averything in the phone and several sd cards.
Quote from: caleb. on October 22, 2013, 12:38:34 AM
I passed to a girl I met, she thought I was gay (whatever, I can deal) and then someone decided to tell her I was trans. Now she always calls me she. -_- Thanks people.
I think in the future, when I pass 100% (as in) and could go almost unquestionably stealth, I will change my last name. Since certain "friends" and family like to leak information without thinking about the consequences. I don't think they realize I am living 100% as male.
They always have such hard heads and continue to think that we're just playing games and that eventually one day the old us will re-emerge miraculously. Talk about delusional huh? Hang in there Caleb, you are getting a tough hide! :)
I met with my brother today. In a very public place, and with someone close by, just in case.
I don't really know how to feel about the conversation which took place. He was alone. Without Grima Wormtongue (his wife... those who have seen/read Lord Of The Rings may get an idea of why I think of her in that way).
He seemed remorseful. But uncomfortable. I could feel a sort of resentment and borderline hate simmering under the surface. It felt like he would rather be anywhere else. I wonder if he was scared of what I would do, and that's why he agreed to meet me.
I'm thinking I don't know where to go from here. I don't think I can ever forget what he's done, and what I suspect he's done (despite his insistence to the contrary). But I don't know if I can forgive him.
The sad thing is, part of me wants to. He is literally the only blood family I have left. Everyone else is dead. And sometimes I miss that. Silly, I know. But I keep thinking back to when we were kids. I saved his life. Twice. Part of me wants to believe there is still a part of that person left.
The rest of me... is just numb.
I don't know.
Sephirah,
Hugs and love to you dear! I'm not privy to what had formerly happened between you and your brother, but I do share your angst. My only brother has a controlling, overbearing spouse who has worked feverishly for years at alienating him and isolating him from his family, so I think I get a part of the picture and understand the pain. It's strange how a woman like that can exert so much negative influence on our loved ones that they can themselves become hateful towards us. Let's hope for those women's sake that there is a hell and that it's damned hot! :)
Quote from: Sephirah on October 22, 2013, 10:37:31 AM
I met with my brother today...
I'm sorry you're going through this Lauren.
*HUGS*I was having similar feelings when it came to my "dad." I wanted to forgive him for all of the abuse (physical, psychological, emotional) over the years and people can change but I also haven't talked to him in over 13 years for a reason. Personally, I decided that he can't be forgiven and that's that.
As for your predicament, I don't know what your brother did but if you don't think you can forgive him and have a relationship with him again, then don't, you're better off without him. As far as blood relatives go, they're really overrated. Then again, my definition of family is "people who you care about and care about you in return." So, the majority of my blood relatives are not my family. The majority of my family are not blood relatives.
*BIGS HUGS*Amy
All it takes to be a self-righteous ass is to believe you're better than someone else. Anyone who's ever called someone else a "nutjob" or a "loony", or otherwise dismissed their opinion, you're as guilty of this as I am.
Just try to remember, the vast majority of people have well-reasoned, thoughtful opinions that are just as valid and valuable as yours. Even on the things that are life-and-death to you.
Edited for brusqueness.
Quote from: Joules on October 22, 2013, 10:48:06 AM
Hugs Sephirah.
I'm going through something similar with my brother, also my only remaining family "of old", although I have 2 sons. I came out to him, and he did most of the PC things. They were only contrived, not from the heart. A few weeks later, he was quite stoned and blabbered out a lot of thoughtless, hurtful things. We later talked about it, and he was apologetic, but never promised to change things, such as quitting the Cannabis, or not calling me when he was stoned. I forgive him for the past trans*gressions (pun intended) but I'm just not sure about the future. Like you, I have a lot of history with my brother, that doesn't just disappear and it's so very hard to discard it if that's not necessary. I won't go through another event like the stoned phone call. I quit answering him when he calls, we haven't spoken since that day. (The discussions we've had have been by email). I miss him. Perhaps when I have made more progress, have become stronger, and he has settled in on the concept of losing a little brother and gaining a little sister, we can mend the fences.
Thank you very much, Joules.
I sincerely hope your brother reaches a point where he can accept the reality of who you are, and see you for yourself rather than the image he has of you. It is hard sometimes to trust those who have hurt us. Doubly so if it is those we thought never would. I don't think you have to change yourself more though. I think the changes have to be made by your brother. Rather than you becoming stronger, I think he has to become more... understanding. I sincerely hope that time facilitates that, and you reach a point where you can have a meaningful relationship with him again.
Quote from: Shantel on October 22, 2013, 10:52:51 AM
Sephirah,
Hugs and love to you dear! I'm not privy to what had formerly happened between you and your brother, but I do share your angst. My only brother has a controlling, overbearing spouse who has worked feverishly for years at alienating him and isolating him from his family, so I think I get a part of the picture and understand the pain. It's strange how a woman like that can exert so much negative influence on our loved ones that they can themselves become hateful towards us. Let's hope for those women's sake that there is a hell and that it's damned hot! :)
Thank you, sweetie. My brother has enacted physical violence against me in the past, and I suspect orchestrated something much worse. I cannot prove anything, and the only evidence I have is circumstantial at best, so I don't speak about it here.
Your experience sounds very similar to mine. His wife seems to control everything he does, says and thinks. I was not allowed to see my niece and nephew because she deemed I would be a danger to them. That they might "catch what I have". I haven't seen either since they were born. That hurts, if I'm honest. But I try not to think about it.
Being that I am the only family from his side that he has left, too, it wasn't so hard to isolate him. He is so eager to be loved that he has willingly thrown himself into her, and her family. The family he never had. For that I cannot blame her. She gave him what he wanted. I cannot blame him for wanting that, either. Everyone wants to be loved, I guess.
There were times I hoped she would linger in the depths of Tartarus. I have a dark side which no one here ever sees. One which... yeah, better not to speak of it. It's something I have to forcibly control sometimes. Nevertheless, my pillow has often been the sole witness to the tears, the hurt, the anger. But none of that changes anything. It won't change who they are, how they act. So in the end, there is just sadness for things lost.
...
I hope that your brother reaches a point where he can see what's really important. And that you can have a relationship again, if that's what you want. *hugs*
Quote from: Amelia Pond on October 22, 2013, 11:04:24 AM
I'm sorry you're going through this Lauren. *HUGS*
I was having similar feelings when it came to my "dad." I wanted to forgive him for all of the abuse (physical, psychological, emotional) over the years and people can change but I also haven't talked to him in over 13 years for a reason. Personally, I decided that he can't be forgiven and that's that.
As for your predicament, I don't know what your brother did but if you don't think you can forgive him and have a relationship with him again, then don't, you're better off without him. As far as blood relatives go, they're really overrated. Then again, my definition of family is "people who you care about and care about you in return." So, the majority of my blood relatives are not my family. The majority of my family are not blood relatives.
*BIGS HUGS*
Amy
Thank you very much, Amy. A big part of me knows that you're totally right. That I should move on. Fill my life with other things. Meaningful ones. Other people, too. Ones I can have a relationship with.
I just... I don't know... I guess I just feel lonely sometimes. Isolated. Afraid of the future and wanting to not... hmm... it doesn't matter. I guess sometimes my humanity asserts itself in ways which I don't quite know how to deal with. Sometimes even I get scared, and feel like curling up into a ball of tears in the corner.
Sorry, I didn't mean to talk about myself so much.
Again, thank you, all of you. :)
Quote from: Sephirah on October 22, 2013, 11:20:04 AM
Thank you very much, Amy. A big part of me knows that you're totally right. That I should move on. Fill my life with other things. Meaningful ones. Other people, too. Ones I can have a relationship with.
I just... I don't know... I guess I just feel lonely sometimes. Isolated. Afraid of the future and wanting to not... hmm... it doesn't matter. I guess sometimes my humanity asserts itself in ways which I don't quite know how to deal with. Sometimes even I get scared, and feel like curling up into a ball of tears in the corner.
Of course I'm right. When have you ever known me to be wrong... WAIT... DON'T ANSWER THAT! ;)
If you'd just stop being stubborn and move to where I am then you'd never be lonely again. We could even be roommates. Though, just a word of warning if you take me up on that, you will be HUGGED every day. ;)
I love ya Sis, I just want you to be happy. :)
*MORE HUGS*Amy
Quote from: Darkie on October 21, 2013, 10:21:16 PM
Just wondering who..I am and what I am suppose to do with my life. School is going well and I love ASL but...when I am out of school.. Then what? Bills are piling up and work issues are making me not know how much I am getting paid on Friday. I'm just sitting here..playing pokemon..
ASL? American SL? (Only thing that comes to my mind lol)
Hope things sort out for you. :)
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 22, 2013, 12:29:11 PM
* Hugs Sephirah*
*big hugs back*
Thank you very much. :)
Quote from: Amelia Pond on October 22, 2013, 12:35:39 PM
Of course I'm right. When have you ever known me to be wrong... WAIT... DON'T ANSWER THAT! ;)
If you'd just stop being stubborn and move to where I am then you'd never be lonely again. We could even be roommates. Though, just a word of warning if you take me up on that, you will be HUGGED every day. ;)
I love ya Sis, I just want you to be happy. :)
*MORE HUGS*
Amy
*blushes*
I like hugs.
Sometimes it feels like my life is a complicated mess, lol. But then I guess the same is true for very many people here. It's always really heartwarming to find solace in friendship.
Thank you, sincerely. My day is a lot brighter than it was. :)
I seriously hope the surgeon who did my top surgery just has a great face memory instead of remembering me just because I was the first trans guy she operated. :I
I really need to download some new demos for my nephew. I think he's starting to get tired of the ones I have for him. A lot of the demos are too complex for him though.
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 22, 2013, 12:41:06 PM
ASL? American SL? (Only thing that comes to my mind lol)
Hope things sort out for you. :)
Yea, American Sign Language.
My proto-boobs are really tender. I know that's a good sign, but OWWW! I never noticed how often things bump into my chest before. Now I feel like a klutz, it happens so often. Oh well, here's to boobs! Grow, you lovely lady lumps! GROW!
(No offense to the dudes heading the other way.)
I'm thinking my parents had the only loving marriage I'd like to emulate but Mom passed when I was 12. Isn't that always the way it goes? I'm not feeling sad, I'm glad I had time with such a lovely lady! :) I just miss her and didn't realize what their marriage meant to me growing up.
Quote from: Shaina on October 22, 2013, 09:30:24 PM
I'm thinking my parents had the only loving marriage I'd like to emulate but Mom passed when I was 12. Isn't that always the way it goes? I'm not feeling sad, I'm glad I had time with such a lovely lady! :) I just miss her and didn't realize what their marriage meant to me growing up.
I'm sure she would be really proud of you now!
Quote from: Kristal on October 22, 2013, 09:21:52 PM
My proto-boobs are really tender. I know that's a good sign, but OWWW! I never noticed how often things bump into my chest before. Now I feel like a klutz, it happens so often. Oh well, here's to boobs! Grow, you lovely lady lumps! GROW!
(No offense to the dudes heading the other way.)
That's how I was when I got my nipples pierced. "WHY IS EVERYTHINH TOUCHING MY CHEST?!"
My botany professor is such an old pothead it's hilarious. Girl we know you're studying more than begonias in that greenhouse
Jaded Voter
Wasted an hour as I perused the list of usual suspects many of whom have great looking educational backgrounds and certification implying that they are capable of logical thought processes. I voted dutifully but alas just another exercise in the biggest delusion of the free world as I help yet more self-aggrandising individuals to belly up to the public trough to plunder the fruits of our labor.
Well dang if I'm going to shell out $10 for Vice City, $15 for Marvel vs Capcom and $15 for Marvel vs Capcom 2 on the PSN the I might as well buy the discs. I regret trading in my Marvel vs Capcom game. I should have taken it as a warning when the man at the counter of Play N Trade nearly drooled at it. Oh well, even during my senior year in high school I was a novice gamer that didn't understand the value of games. If it's any consolation to me, at least that game's sound started dying so I don't feel like a total sucker. I just have to wait until I get a job and have secured my top surgery funding to start rebuilding my collection. I'm thinking after that and my trip to Anime Expo I should be able to buy the games online in 3 or 4 years.
Quote from: Liam Erik on October 23, 2013, 09:55:25 PMSupernatural makes me happy.
What did you think of the latest episode?
I am getting frustrated over my Loki costume. I am not going to ahve it done in time for halloween. I have tried to make the pants three times now, each time takes a hours, and they still look horrible. Actually, the whole costume looks horrible. At least I'm getting practice, but still...
I need to adjust my priorities. I have a midterm on friday.
So I get on my work and my file is getting its formatting all messed up. Some of the text is also garbled. -_- I need to email this to my supervisor tomorrow!!!
When I get out of this dinky little town, I think I'd like to join a co-ed soccer team.
I seriously don't know what to think of this "game" show Moment of Truth... I mean, seriously. Getting entertainment out of people spilling their secrets in the public television with possible expense of their relationships and whatnot? That's just the most screwed up form of social p0rn.
On another note, it's my T shot day once again which means I'll get some rest from this wicked acne for a while.
I can't wait having my tonsils removed. Infection number 9432424 this year.. gaaaah. No sleep all night and I was a zombie at work so my boss told me to just go home. Sooo looking forward to the surgery!
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on October 24, 2013, 07:50:30 AM
I can't wait having my tonsils removed. Infection number 9432424 this year.. gaaaah. No sleep all night and I was a zombie at work so my boss told me to just go home. Sooo looking forward to the surgery!
You get to eat lots of ice cream, jello and yogurt for awhile after that! ;D
Quote from: Tossu-sama on October 24, 2013, 07:10:29 AM
I seriously don't know what to think of this "game" show Moment of Truth... I mean, seriously. Getting entertainment out of people spilling their secrets in the public television with possible expense of their relationships and whatnot? That's just the most screwed up form of social p0rn.
I don't know, I love it. Way better than Jerry Springer. Same premise really, just less "white trashy"
That reminds me. My doctor was supposed to call me.
Which reminds me, the new driving instructor I wanted to hire should have called me yesterday....
Why do I sometimes want to blow my cover by posting this?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets0.ordienetworks.com%2Fmisc%2FLeslie%2520Nielsen%2520Shadow%2520Surprise.gif&hash=97d1ba338f99f1d4e4cf0a51deb4978c182fce18)
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 24, 2013, 04:42:36 PM
I had that done awhile back. The recovery sucked. Hell, the recovery from my orchi was much more bearable by comparison. I remember the first time I had a sneezing fit once I was recovering. That hurt like hell. Imagine someone shoving a Ginsu knife down your throat and yanking back out and then that repeating 5 times in a minute.
It was not fun at all.
I was sooooo sick of that stuff by the end of it. Nothing but that crap for two weeks.
UGH!!
I still cringe when I see yogurt or pudding cups at the grocery store. I don't mind a single rare ice cream treat, though. But I have never bought a half gallon of ice cream since the recovery period.
Wow Miss Bungle, you're just a bundle of encouragement for our patient today, your bedside manner is somewhat lacking dear!
Putting make up for the gym which I will remove after I get back home it's a damn fine waste of money. But heck, eyeliner is already a part of me right now.
I hope I do well on my midterm today.
Quote from: Edge on October 25, 2013, 06:30:30 AM
I hope I do well on my midterm today.
Hammer it Edge!
Thanks Joules and Shantel.
I would have felt like a complete slob if I didn't work out....so I worked out for about 10 minutes. A couple of daily sevens gets the heart pumping. :)
Quote from: Malachite on October 25, 2013, 10:50:53 AM
I would have felt like a complete slob if I didn't work out....so I worked out for about 10 minutes. A couple of daily sevens gets the heart pumping. :)
Good going Malachite, the heart needs it after all that lasagna! :icon_hahano: :icon_peace:
Quote from: Shantel on October 25, 2013, 10:55:41 AM
Good going Malachite, the heart needs it after all that lasagna! :icon_hahano: :icon_peace:
WRONG....................................it was pasta alfredo >.>
It was one of those exams where I memorized a bunch of stuff I didn't have to. Oh well. I think I did well. I only guessed on a few questions.
Quote from: Edge on October 25, 2013, 01:54:32 PM
It was one of those exams where I memorized a bunch of stuff I didn't have to. Oh well. I think I did well. I only guessed on a few questions.
Good, you probably smoked it! :eusa_clap:
How cats would look like if they had buttcheeks like humans do.
I seriously think about important stuff like this.
Quote from: Tossu-sama on October 25, 2013, 03:58:12 PM
How cats would look like if they had buttcheeks like humans do.
I seriously think about important stuff like this.
They do have buttcheeks. :3 Well my cats do, LOL
Just got myself a pair of camisoles! I was worried that I might look too terribly like a drag queen wearing one, but I am pleasantly surprised at the results. Sure, the beard shadow leaves something to be desired, but I think I look alright. Currently wearing what I shall now refer to as my 'lounging lady' clothes: yoga pants, camisole, big monochrome plaid bathrobe.
So peaceful...
Drinking soda before bed with a colostomy bag, ...is a bad idea.
Quote from: Joules on October 25, 2013, 04:28:20 PM
Sounds like a sloooow day Tossu-sama :D
Maybe just a bit.
I also deducted that we have chins so we can stroke them while pondering about important things like this.
Had my first shave earlier this day and now? Hair is already growing back. No big deal. That was the intention: to make it grow faster and to make it grow more.
My hair smells so lovely after dying it and styling it at the hairdresser's that I never want to shower again.
..... then I realise that won't mean everlastning delicious smelling hair. Blaaahh.
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on October 25, 2013, 06:05:28 PM
Had my first shave earlier this day and now? Hair is already growing back. No big deal. That was the intention: to make it grow faster and to make it grow more.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is a myth. That's not how hair works at all.
I really have found that I have become much more visual over the last little while. Particularly when it comes to women. I just notice all the little things they do to put their "look" together. All the contrasting colours, fabrics, textures. I appreciate them on an aesthetic level more than I did before.
I really really hate flattening my hair.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FTuDnpHT.jpg&hash=e0bc0f30a37db155b097f81af26bb452606ce204) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FFC1MT8o.jpg&hash=20860bcaf1de18e587a773cb1148df5630587ff1)
That's me. No make up, hair extensions or foam bras... A weird sight, if you ask me, and that's the temple I can't cover and my personal achilles heel. And as you can see, My female presention it's all about makeup and clothing.
omg ! its six a.m ? im thinking i could use some sleep . good morning & good night everyone .
I hate getting kicked out of GTA V Online lobbies for no reason, but it's funny that I get kicked out when I'm about to send mercenaries on someone and let them hear it over the mic. It's funny how those no0bs get so scared.
Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 26, 2013, 04:27:44 AM
I really really hate flattening my hair.
That's me. No make up, hair extensions or foam bras... A weird sight, if you ask me, and that's the temple I can't cover and my personal achilles heel. And as you can see, My female presention it's all about makeup and clothing.
Doing an honest self inventory is always a part of the program for us. Personally I think you look more feminine than you give yourself credit for, and I like what I see as a person beyond the external wrappings, that is much more important in determining who you are and how well you pass now and in the future.
Apple Sprout,
I'm with Shantel. I really want to know why you iron your hair when you look so much better with curls?
Quote from: LordKAT on October 26, 2013, 10:00:38 AM
Apple Sprout,
I'm with Shantel. I really want to know why you iron your hair when you look so much better with curls?
Yeah me too! Why is it that women who have naturally curly hair always hate it when women with straight hair would give the world to have curly hair?
Giggling at the whole giraffe thing on facebook.. people are crazy.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 26, 2013, 11:39:51 AM
Porcupines are superior to Giraffes anyway.
"Anyone defending Intelligent Design needs to do some serious work explaining the giraffe."
This situation of where I am going to live and when I can return to my full workload is weighing on my mind pretty heavy today. Dumb persistent bills!!!
I am going to town on my room - it was so bad there was no floor left, and I was stepping on papers and ripping them. In the first 5 minutes, I filled a big box with garbage and that's only the beginning. o.O
Marcia Wallace, voice of Edna Krabappel (Simpsons) passed away (breast cancer). They're going to retire the character out of respect to her.
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on October 26, 2013, 05:14:41 PM
Marcia Wallace, voice of Edna Krabappel (Simpsons) passed away (breast cancer). They're going to retire the character out of respect to her.
Nice lady too, she'll be missed!
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 26, 2013, 05:15:38 PM
Woah...I didn't know about that. That's sad. :(
That's very sad :(
Finally! My room is basically clean. I think I'm going to give some stuff away to kind of top it off a bit.
I'm going to write a post in my blog about the isolation I feel constantly. However, I don't know when I will write it because I'm just too lazy to lol.
Quote from: Malachite on October 26, 2013, 07:29:31 PM
I'm going to write a post in my blog about the isolation I feel constantly. However, I don't know when I will write it because I'm just too lazy to lol.
*huggles Malachite*
Quote from: Sephirah on October 26, 2013, 07:30:24 PM
*huggles Malachite*
-hugs-
It totally sucks not to have any support (percieved or otherwise) from family and that there are no LBGT groups nearby. Well that was my future blog in a nutshell.
Quote from: Malachite on October 26, 2013, 08:01:57 PM
-hugs-
It totally sucks not to have any support (percieved or otherwise) from family and that there are no LBGT groups nearby. Well that was my future blog in a nutshell.
It won't always be like that, hon. When you get to a point where you can strike out on your own, then you can go and make your place in the world, instead of trying to fit into the place which is already there. I know it's hard sometimes. Feeling isolated really sucks. You just have to believe that you're worth enough, and strong enough to find what you want in life, and make it your own, rather than hoping it finds you.
I think you are.
No. Scratch that. I
know you are.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhh why does hair take so long to grow -.-"
Quote from: Sephirah on October 26, 2013, 08:12:23 PM
It won't always be like that, hon. When you get to a point where you can strike out on your own, then you can go and make your place in the world, instead of trying to fit into the place which is already there. I know it's hard sometimes. Feeling isolated really sucks. You just have to believe that you're worth enough, and strong enough to find what you want in life, and make it your own, rather than hoping it finds you.
I think you are.
No. Scratch that. I know you are.
But that point seems like it will never come :/
Quote from: LordKAT on October 26, 2013, 10:00:38 AM
Apple Sprout,
I'm with Shantel. I really want to know why you iron your hair when you look so much better with curls?
Who knows:
- With curly hair all of my forehead up to the hairline gets exposed as the hours passes and over curls. And in the ends it makes me look manlier, plus showing the temples all the time
- Mi hair extension is straight, and it's quite crucial in helping me pass
- My level of culr and frizz can be so strong that I pull my hair when brushing
- Love having a long straight ponytail at the gym.
- Last time I did not straighten it I was gendered as male.
Ergo no. Ther is zero chance of seein me with curly hair again. In fact, it really gets my dysphoric. And I've wished for long straight hair all of my life.
My mum sent me a knitting pattern so now I should make those mittens. So so adorable they made me squeee.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 26, 2013, 11:28:13 PM
Ughhhhhhhhhhhh why does hair take so long to grow -.-"
To teach you patience on your journey to true wisdom.
Why the heck am I watching these documentaries about old mental health treatment in Finland when they always just make me upset and sad...
why can't it be the first already? I want my money!
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on October 27, 2013, 10:00:51 AM
why can't it be the first already? I want my money!
Wonder how many are thinking the same thing? ;D
I don't know what to get this time around. I thought of getting the remaining Sims 2 expansions, but nah, i am sick of it again. It depresses me.
Maybe another Beatles album for my collection, maybe some Deep Purple. They never seem to have anything by Manfred Mann's Earth Band though. If they had the first Janis Joplin album, i'd spring for it too. I wish i had the Beatles "Past Masters Vol.1&2".
Yes, this is what i am actually thinking.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-V52qZkR6qu0%2FUL6SefRk9JI%2FAAAAAAAAAKU%2FEwTfLgjwYLE%2Fs320%2Fstorm-troopers%2Bmove%2Balong.jpg&hash=8d3dfb02fbe8841aedb0be31523aad0d1ffd22e9)
Move along, people. Nothing interesting in this post.
I feel drained, stressed, and stuck.
I missed a bunch of chem classes due to my son's various appointments and now I have no clue what's going on.
My doctor still hasn't called me like she told me she was going to. I need my next shot of T on wednesday. I understand she's busy, but if she can't take the time to do what she told me she would, then she shouldn't have told me she would.
I want to emulate Izaya Orihara from Drrr!! He doesn't angst like a whiny little b. about being alone.
But that leads me to another realization. Izaya has fun messing with people. I can't think of anything I have fun doing. Gorrammit. I may be going through a depressed patch again.
2 hours to warm up my fingers
ónly then does my playing sound okay.
Quote from: Edge on October 27, 2013, 10:18:53 AM
I feel drained, stressed, and stuck.
I missed a bunch of chem classes due to my son's various appointments and now I have no clue what's going on.
My doctor still hasn't called me like she told me she was going to. I need my next shot of T on wednesday. I understand she's busy, but if she can't take the time to do what she told me she would, then she shouldn't have told me she would.
I want to emulate Izaya Orihara from Drrr!! He doesn't angst like a whiny little b. about being alone.
But that leads me to another realization. Izaya has fun messing with people. I can't think of anything I have fun doing. Gorrammit. I may be going through a depressed patch again.
Nooooooooooo cheer up Edge, it's just temporary stuff!
Quote from: Shantel on October 27, 2013, 10:39:36 AM
Nooooooooooo cheer up Edge, it's just temporary stuff!
The depression is temporary, yes, but the isolation is not and I still don't know how to get rid of loneliness.
I don't want to lose my home, I don't want to live with my triggering mother, I don't want to lose my independence.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 27, 2013, 11:26:29 AM
I don't want to lose my home, I don't want to live with my triggering mother, I don't want to lose my independence.
I'm sorry LordKat are there no helps available to you? How about a reverse mortgage?
Quote from: Shantel on October 27, 2013, 11:29:51 AM
I'm sorry LordKat are there no helps available to you? How about a reverse mortgage?
My home is a mobile home where I still owe on the loan. I have asked at the places that help and both will only pay the last month when I am able to work full time. That is in 2 to 5 months.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 27, 2013, 12:09:04 PM
My home is a mobile home where I still owe on the loan. I have asked at the places that help and both will only pay the last month when I am able to work full time. That is in 2 to 5 months.
That sucks, if you have some equity perhaps you can get a small loan to cover monthly until you're back in business? Perhaps your mom might consider something like that?
I already owe her about the equity I have in the trailer. My credit is shot due to medical bills.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 27, 2013, 12:59:25 PM
I already owe her about the equity I have in the trailer. My credit is shot due to medical bills.
If I was wealthy I'd fix it for you hon as well as for a lot of other deserving folks here.
Been watching Periodic Videos channel in YouTube for couple days and remembered how much I liked chemistry in school. Too bad my mental health blew my chances of getting educated more on the subject when I started upper secondary school (went there for measily half of the school year before my panic attacks ruined everything) and the physics/chemistry combo equivalent of vocational school was a sad joke and focused more on physics which I happen to dislike greatly. >_>
Rest in peace Lou Reed.
He died at only 71.
Quote from: ZootAllures/BlackNapkins! on October 27, 2013, 02:00:19 PM
Rest in peace Lou Reed.
He died at only 71.
"Satellite's gone up to the skies..."
I hate teaching immature teenagers in Sunday school
I'm thinking Malachite's current avatar makes me want pepperoni pizza. Badly. In spite of the fact that I can't taste anything at the moment.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 27, 2013, 02:44:13 PM
Why is that?
I currently have flu. Nasal eruptions on a cataclysmic scale, can't smell or taste anything. I think it's on the wane now though, thankfully. I've only gone through one box of tissues so far today, lol. That's probably a good sign.
lol I misgendered my cousin on the phone. He answers and I said "Hi Auntie!" He goes quiet and then says (in a voice that was forced to be deeper) "...it's L. I understand though because I have a cold."
Quote from: Sephirah on October 27, 2013, 02:47:49 PM
I currently have flu. Nasal eruptions on a cataclysmic scale, can't smell or taste anything. I think it's on the wane now though, thankfully. I've only gone through one box of tissues so far today, lol. That's probably a good sign.
feel better hun -hugs-
Thinking tommorrow I make copies of what I need to send off my resume this week. Thinking about the day I'll finally be able to cosplay at Anime Expo.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 27, 2013, 02:47:49 PM
I currently have flu. Nasal eruptions on a cataclysmic scale, can't smell or taste anything. I think it's on the wane now though, thankfully. I've only gone through one box of tissues so far today, lol. That's probably a good sign.
Not fun when that happens, wishing you wellness!
Thank you, both. :)
I am wondering what this will be like:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24690810
I love storms. They feel... energising. I think where I live, though, there will be little more than a mild breeze and some drizzle.
I like storms, too. I find them renewing and calming.
Debating whether I should start a thread on Susans asking for volunteers to post pictures of themselves so I can attempt to make a sim version of them on Sims 3. :3
Lol, then we'll have to kill off every Get Along Gang person except Portia ^.^
Omg I'm so embarrased.
I was trying to schedule two driving appointments and was trying to confirm them. When confirming the second appointment I said "sex lesson" by accident when I couldn't figure out if I wanted to say "second" lesson or "next" lesson".
Lol so the "sex lesson" is Friday 8th from 3:30 - 6:30.
Quote from: Malachite on October 28, 2013, 10:27:24 AM
Omg I'm so embarrased.
I was trying to schedule two driving appointments and was trying to confirm them. When confirming the second appointment I said "sex lesson" by accident when I couldn't figure out if I wanted to say "second" lesson or "next" lesson".
Lol so the "sex lesson" is Friday 8th from 3:30 - 6:30.
And was the response something like this? "Oh no problem honey!" :icon_evil_laugh:
Lol! I'd hope she'd be willing to let me put a ring on her finger first. She might cancel the appointment then :/
Quote from: Malachite on October 28, 2013, 10:42:06 AM
Lol! I'd hope she'd be willing to let me put a ring on her finger first. She might cancel the appointment then :/
Hehehe aren't we awful? :eusa_dance:
Quote from: Shantel on October 28, 2013, 10:58:52 AM
Hehehe aren't we awful? :eusa_dance:
Lol no....more like terrible.
im just thinking how someone claims to care for you so much & like you . then just drop you like a real bad habbit .
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 28, 2013, 10:48:06 AM
Have you decided to do that Sims thing that you was talking about?
Yup. I've decided that I will likely try it later since I'm lazy and I'd have to set up a lot of things. ^.^
Finally got my stuff copied and the resume printed! Now I just need to fill it out and turn all that stuff in
I found some gay guy I used to know from school on my app and I'm thinking about if I were to talk to him. I never talked to him before but from what I remember he seems like someone I would be interested in being friends with.
Plus I'm still pre-E and would totally sleep with him. Not sure he would be interested though since I still look girly.
No.
That I'm going to avoid FB for a bit until the picture of a puppy that looks like a furry penis that my neighbor posted moves down the page a bit.
Quote from: of a sort on October 28, 2013, 05:33:49 PM
That I'm going to avoid FB for a bit until the picture of a puppy that looks like a furry penis that my neighbor posted moves down the page a bit.
Ugh, that's disgusting JRD!
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 28, 2013, 05:34:59 PM
Oh. Are you seeing a therapist and all that?
I did. Wish I didn't. -.-"
Quote from: Shantel on October 28, 2013, 05:36:17 PM
Ugh, that's disgusting JRD!
Yeah, after about a second, the humor is pretty much gone from it.
And yeah, that was uncalled for, in answer to your pm.
Quote from: of a sort on October 28, 2013, 05:42:17 PM
Yeah, after about a second, the humor is pretty much gone from it.
And yeah, that was uncalled for, in answer to your pm.
Thanks "of a sort" whoever you are!
Quote from: Shantel on October 28, 2013, 05:44:13 PM
Thanks "of a sort" whoever you are!
They already outed me in another thread. I got bored and missed being a nuisance.
Quote from: of a sort on October 28, 2013, 05:48:47 PM
They already outed me in another thread. I got bored and missed being a nuisance.
Goofy girl! You know we'd just be miserable without you here, you're family!
Quote from: Shantel on October 28, 2013, 06:17:35 PM
Goofy girl! You know we'd just be miserable without you here, you're family!
yep, the weird little kid y'all make go in the basement when company comes. :D
Quote from: of a sort on October 28, 2013, 06:22:20 PM
yep, the weird little kid y'all make go in the basement when company comes. :D
It would help if you didn't butt your smokes on uncle Fred's bald head.
It seems that I at least pass as androgynous. I went to a Mexican restaurant with my dad today. He consistently got 'Senor', while I got 'Amigo'. I was in total boymode, except for my hairband. Is that really all it takes for people to get confused? Hair accessories, really?
Quote from: Shantel on October 28, 2013, 06:25:39 PM
It would help if you didn't butt your smokes on uncle Fred's bald head.
My hamster's name was Uncle Fred.
I want to be a woman soooo bad
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 28, 2013, 10:54:51 PM
Did you have a bad experience with one?
Oh no, she was nice, but I shouldn't have rushed coming out as I did; I should've went at my own pace. I don't feel like I got anything out of it other than having someone to vent to for awhile, and when I look back it sometimes feels a little traumatizing knowing that someone in the world knows my dirty little secrets.
And, I believe you do not need a therapist's letter to get hormones anyway, once you're 18. So I see no point in going to one any further.
Yesterday I was recommended to carry a tampax with me in case they ask me for it... It's no the first time I hear this, but the first in "real life".
I really like One Direction. lol
Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on October 28, 2013, 10:34:50 PM
I want to be a woman soooo bad
I want to as well Kayla, one little blue tablet at a time, say the magic word, "Julie Andrews" and hay presto.
Pinch me as it is happening and I am so happy for it.
Quote from: Joules on October 29, 2013, 04:20:50 AM
He He He. Shan, you shouldn't be so casual with the newbies ;)
She's a bud, I know her well!
Planning the expenses for November. If I want to avoid unexpected surprises and save for FFS, I must prevent accidents of any kind.
Why have agencies that help but only after you hit bottom and are left homeless?
If they have enough time to get around to it at that.
I love Thai spicy food!! It's good and good for you!!!!! ^.^
Wtf is up with Hinata's eyes from Naruto? I don't know anything about that anime, but when the Fanfic Critic read "immoral urges", I had to look up and see what this girl looked like. She should keep her eyes closed....
Got my 401 statement in the mail and prior to the end of September, it was actually doing well and had a good return. Hope all this recent crap hasn't hurt it too much.
Quote from: Malachite on October 29, 2013, 03:47:19 PM
Wtf is up with Hinata's eyes from Naruto? I don't know anything about that anime, but when the Fanfic Critic read "immoral urges", I had to look up and see what this girl looked like. She should keep her eyes closed....
(Naruto nerd here) Everyone in her clan has Byakugan eyes, which lets them have 360 vision; Neji, who's her cousin, also has them. Sort of like how Sasuke and Kakashi have red, Sharingan eyes that give them weird freaky powers. ^.^
Accidentally ran into some gay porn and this time watched for some time. My reactions:
- How many abs does this guy have? It's more like a 12-pack!
- Is like an UFC match when they start doing grapples...
- What? What's that tiny high pitched voice? Even he has better voice than me? :'(
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 29, 2013, 04:04:53 PM
(Naruto nerd here) Everyone in her clan has Byakugan eyes, which lets them have 360 vision; Neji, who's her cousin, also has them. Sort of like how Sasuke and Kakashi have red, Sharingan eyes that give them weird freaky powers. ^.^
360 vision? So she can look behind her without moving her head?
Quote from: Malachite on October 29, 2013, 04:11:55 PM
360 vision? So she can look behind her without moving her head?
She can look everywhere without moving her head, and she can see through walls. ;D
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 29, 2013, 04:21:43 PM
She can look everywhere without moving her head, and she can see through walls. ;D
And they had to give her some creepy eyes for that? They should have just made them brown and call it a day. :D
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 29, 2013, 04:21:43 PM
She can look everywhere without moving her head, and she can see through walls. ;D
Like Mad-Eye Moody! Ahem. Sorry. Wait, why am I apologizing.
Quote from: Malachite on October 29, 2013, 04:51:25 PM
And they had to give her some creepy eyes for that? They should have just made them brown and call it a day. :D
I have brown eyes and I can't see behind my head. >.<
Speaking of anime, Edge, you showing up is making me think of Hellsing, and how I'm eager to hear Crispin Freeman's smexy voice on girlycard's body. ^.^ LOL
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 29, 2013, 05:59:17 PM
I have brown eyes and I can't see behind my head. >.<
Speaking of anime, Edge, you showing up is making me think of Hellsing, and how I'm eager to hear Crispin Freeman's smexy voice on girlycard's body. ^.^ LOL
Use a mirror ;)
Quote from: of a sort on October 29, 2013, 03:52:30 PM
Got my 401 statement in the mail and prior to the end of September, it was actually doing well and had a good return. Hope all this recent crap hasn't hurt it too much.
They spread the risk over a huge investment field, you should be OK. Generally if they take a dip they come back in time since it's a long term investment package, you shouldn't panic.
Quote from: Shantel on October 29, 2013, 06:11:01 PM
They spread the risk over a huge investment field, you should be OK. Generally if they take a dip they come back in time since it's a long term investment package, you shouldn't panic.
Oh, I'm not panicing, just curious about how the next statement will look.
I do have an account that lets me check it, but I haven't been to it in over a year, not sure if I recall the pin for it.
I think, if I could sleep with any celebrity, I'd pick Katy Perry. lol as if that could ever happen.
Quote from: caleb. on October 29, 2013, 06:44:37 PM
I think, if I could sleep with any celebrity, I'd pick Katy Perry. lol as if that could ever happen.
Wait, wait, wait, she's with me in my dreams already, now you stop that! ;D
Quote from: Shantel on October 29, 2013, 06:50:06 PM
Wait, wait, wait, she's with me in my dreams already, now you stop that! ;D
How good is your roar?
I think my mom's more lenient with my brother partly because he's male, despite his autism. I bet if he told mother he was going to buy a moped, she wouldn't put up much of a fight, but when I say I want to get one out of my own pocket, she doesn't want me to.
Which leads me to my next blog thread....
I really wish Call of Duty: Ghost came with a preorder bonus of the Ghost Mask. I would wear the heck out of that thing combined with a beret. I wear glasses but I'd make them fit somehow. I wish I owned a red millitary beret so I could feel strong and powerful. I should buy one and then have a custom emblem made on it....probably a crescent moon symbol combined with the Mars symbol.
Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 29, 2013, 04:05:03 PM
Accidentally ran into some gay porn and this time watched for some time. My reactions:
- How many abs does this guy have? It's more like a 12-pack!
- Is like an UFC match when they start doing grapples...
- What? What's that tiny high pitched voice? Even he has better voice than me? :'(
Yeah, people who think gay male sex is feminine have likely never seen it. It super masculine because it's TWICE THE MANMEAT!
Quote from: <3 on October 29, 2013, 08:26:55 PM
How good is your roar?
Yes, wasn't that a cute video? I had to give her the boot though, I can't stand a certain pitch she hits trying to sing that is very grating on my nerve ends, might be my age but it's worse than eating crackers in bed as far as I'm concerned. ;D :D
Quote from: Kristal on October 30, 2013, 05:54:50 AM
Yeah, people who think gay male sex is feminine have likely never seen it. It super masculine because it's TWICE THE MANMEAT!
Gives a whole new meaning to "Manwich". I though one of them will act as "the girl", but no, it was more like Godzilla Vs. Mecha Godzilla.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0VRr2v5EnQ
I'm learning more about the silly little handheld scanner we use for checking in vendors. My boss had a problem with it and I went in and fixed it and then checked in the rest of the vendors while I was there and then helped her make changes in the invoices/pricebooks to get things balanced out so the main office will be happy. Its all only minimally better than just entering the whole invoice manually. Still more work than it ought to be.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on October 30, 2013, 11:02:15 AM
I'm learning more about the silly little handheld scanner we use for checking in vendors. My boss had a problem with it and I went in and fixed it and then checked in the rest of the vendors while I was there and then helped her make changes in the invoices/pricebooks to get things balanced out so the main office will be happy. Its all only minimally better than just entering the whole invoice manually. Still more work than it ought to be.
Dang you're good, you deserve a big raise. Seems that you are their best asset and go-to "Girl Friday!"
Quote from: Joules on October 30, 2013, 11:12:38 AM
I was chatting with my younger son on FB just now, I let it "slip" that I will be emailing him and his brother an important announcement soon. Better get crackin' on that coming out letter. Gulp. My sons are the last big coming out on my books. Once they know, I don't much care who finds out.
Good luck Joules! Do you think they have any clues so far? Maybe it won't be a big shock to them?
I think whenever my sisters and mom questions my sexuality and if I like girls then I will be honest and say I do....then naturally I'll have to say I'm not a lesbian but trans.
This leads me into the next thought that would send me into a mindbend. What if I start pointing to some of the small evidence as a child to my mom and sisters that I've always felt different and they start acting like they don't remember. I remember coming out to the oldest sister about a year ago and I asked her did she remember us having a conversation when I was in the 5th grade that I told her that I hated being a girl and that I am going to get surgery to make me a boy (before I knew that actually had GRS) and she said no she didn't remember. Now, that was almost 8 years ago so she probably doesn't remember but I remember so clearly for obvious reasons. However, what if it was like that for ALL three of them and they all seem to magically forget? And I start dishing out small evidences left and right and it just seems to not register with them even though I know they should remember some.
Arrrrrgh! How could that NOT annoy someone? Luckily, something tells me that they won't be THAT ignorant. They already suspect/know I like women and heck my mom already knows that I *want* to be a man once I told her I was going to get a hysterectomy. Heck the oldest sister knows I'm trans though she doesn't accept/believe it. Now it's just the second oldest sister to come out to and I'm sure she knows somethings up. At this point I would just have to really make it *official official* and tell them my plans of a partial transition....which I honestly don't know how I can pull that off without them thinking I'm not really committed to it, but that's really my problem and not theirs. I don't need to come out to my brother since we don't even have a relationship because he wants nothing to do with me. At one point he told me that he would rather be shot by a terrorist than to have lunch with me. I would a more fufilling conversation out of my wall than him and I'm not even joking. Surprisingly, I think it would be HIM that takes my transition the best because he just doesn't give a crap about me.
Quote from: Malachite on October 30, 2013, 11:29:05 AM
I think whenever my sisters and mom questions my sexuality and if I like girls then I will be honest and say I do....then naturally I'll have to say I'm not a lesbian but trans.
This leads me into the next thought that would send me into a mindbend. What if I start pointing to some of the small evidence as a child to my mom and sisters that I've always felt different and they start acting like they don't remember. I remember coming out to the oldest sister about a year ago and I asked her did she remember us having a conversation when I was in the 5th grade that I told her that I hated being a girl and that I am going to get surgery to make me a boy (before I knew that actually had GRS) and she said no she didn't remember. Now, that was almost 8 years ago so she probably doesn't remember but I remember so clearly for obvious reasons. However, what if it was like that for ALL three of them and they all seem to magically forget? And I start dishing out small evidences left and right and it just seems to not register with them even though I know they should remember some.
The first part is probably sufficient and plenty of information for them to absorb and no doubt when it sinks in they will present the questions they need answered. Meanwhile I'd forget the entire mindbend thoughts and realize from the experiences of so many others here that they will no doubt suddenly lose all memory of any such conversations rather than having to deal with what you're saying.
Quote from: Malachite on October 30, 2013, 11:29:05 AM
Arrrrrgh! How could that NOT annoy someone? Luckily, something tells me that they won't be THAT ignorant. They already suspect/know I like women and heck my mom already knows that I *want* to be a man once I told her I was going to get a hysterectomy. Heck the oldest sister knows I'm trans though she doesn't accept/believe it. Now it's just the second oldest sister to come out to and I'm sure she knows somethings up. At this point I would just have to really make it *official official* and tell them my plans of a partial transition....which I honestly don't know how I can pull that off without them thinking I'm not really committed to it, but that's really my problem and not theirs. I don't need to come out to my brother since we don't even have a relationship because he wants nothing to do with me. At one point he told me that he would rather be shot by a terrorist than to have lunch with me. I would a more fufilling conversation out of my wall than him and I'm not even joking. Surprisingly, I think it would be HIM that takes my transition the best because he just doesn't give a crap about me.
There, you've already logically worked through it and have your probably answers. to the problem. Good going!
Quote from: Shantel on October 30, 2013, 11:46:52 AM
The first part is probably sufficient and plenty of information for them to absorb and no doubt when it sinks in they will present the questions they need answered. Meanwhile I'd forget the entire mindbend thoughts and realize from the experiences of so many others here that they will no doubt suddenly lose all memory of any such conversations rather than having to deal with what you're saying.
And that's the scary part. Though logic and reasoning behind past experiences is a reasonable basis to dismiss this concern, there still is that great chance that they they will just dump all logic and reasoning out the window and replace it with nothing but religion as an excuse. I know that happened with my oldest sister. I kept trying to say that there are doctors and psychiatrists and therapists and physcologists and documented medical evidence ->-bleeped-<- but she dismisses ALL of it because it's "secular". I mean, how does one even combat that? They
can't. I could also point out that for me personally it could be genetic since my brother has autism. My mom had both of my sisters has the same father, but he isn't my brother and I's father. The worse they got was eczema from him, but with my father, we got a whole sclew of medical conditions and risks. It's very possible I could have picked up ->-bleeped-<- from him too. I feel like I'm going to be in court when I face them with tons of evidence, but no matter what I throw at them, the evidence will be inadmissible and no matter how well I will prepare my case, I'm going to lose. I will be charged as guilty by a jury of my peers....and the peers ARE the judges.
I mentioned in my blog about one of my sisters in particular and how she will probably to "fish" out the past and shes going to play the "well you were bullied when you were young and and your father was never there so that's why you feel this way" card while my other sister brings out the "molestation" card. I can guarantee you
that "evidence" will be admissible.
Sorry, I didn't mean for that to get so long lol, but I will say this: Well, if we are going to go fishing....I might as well put on my fishing hat.
Quote from: Malachite on October 30, 2013, 12:22:48 PM
And that's the scary part. Though logic and reasoning behind past experiences is a reasonable basis to dismiss this concern, there
Sorry, I didn't mean for that to get so long lol, but I will say this: Well, if we are going to go fishing....I might as well put on my fishing hat.
A good attitude is always a winner! I'm a Christian and have dealt with some of the extreme views that really just come more from personal bias's than anything else, so I know what you're up against. You may eventually have to cut and run from the family for awhile when you get into the real nuts and bolts of your transition just for your own sanity. I had to give my mom and sis the boot for ten years but it's all good now. So we do whatever it takes!
Quote from: Joules on October 30, 2013, 12:10:48 PM
I did it. I wrote an email to my sons, then hit "send". The cat is way, way out of the bag now. She's hungry, better go feed her.
I really hope it all goes well, Joules. Good luck!
Quote from: Shantel on October 30, 2013, 12:41:42 PM
A good attitude is always a winner! I'm a Christian and have dealt with some of the extreme views that really just come more from personal bias's than anything else, so I know what you're up against. You may eventually have to cut and run from the family for awhile when you get into the real nuts and bolts of your transition just for your own sanity. I had to give my mom and sis the boot for ten years but it's all good now. So we do whatever it takes!
And I agree about the personal bias. I know they would want to (or at least "claim" to) go to the Bible as the final authority on my transition and I'm prepared to do that as a Christian as well. I think once they find out that the Bible doesn't have too much to say about ->-bleeped-<- (aside from the eunuchs) then that's where the personal bias will
really come out. I wondering if it's possible that they will ever accept me as a brother/son or will they reconsider their stance if they saw I was serious about leaving and x-ing them out of my life if they didn't get on board. Sometimes I feel that this is my mini "Great Tribulation".
Quote from: Malachite on October 30, 2013, 01:21:05 PM
And I agree about the personal bias. I know they would want to (or at least "claim" to) go to the Bible as the final authority on my transition and I'm prepared to do that as a Christian as well. I think once they find out that the Bible doesn't have too much to say about ->-bleeped-<- (aside from the eunuchs) then that's where the personal bias will really come out. I wondering if it's possible that they will ever accept me as a brother/son or will they reconsider their stance if they saw I was serious about leaving and x-ing them out of my life if they didn't get on board. Sometimes I feel that this is my mini "Great Tribulation".
Hang in there Malachite you're going to make it hon, we all will as long as we persevere and don't let disappointments get us down in the dumps. Keep looking up! :)
Quote from: Shantel on October 30, 2013, 02:48:52 PM
Hang in there Malachite you're going to make it hon, we all will as long as we persevere and don't let disappointments get us down in the dumps. Keep looking up! :)
Totally not looking foward to next year when I should be able to afford my top surgery. It's going to be an interesting process to get through to them to say the least.
Quote from: Malachite on October 30, 2013, 02:52:29 PM
Totally not looking foward to next year when I should be able to afford my top surgery. It's going to be an interesting process to get through to them to say the least.
You know I've been on this forum and watched you work and save diligently for that and you wondered, fussed and agonized about it quite often, thinking that it was an unreachable goal, and now look, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and top surgery is not only possible but in clear sight. Kudos and big hugs! You are an inspiration to everyone!
This IRC thing maybe is not for me... I'm fending every ->-bleeped-<- that tries to hunt me with every slur I know. Still waiting for somebody to speak like a normal person... And I hate whenever they try to mix me with a ->-bleeped-<-.
Yup, I'm bored, waiting for a frying pan to cool off before washing the dishes.
Quote from: Shantel on October 30, 2013, 02:59:30 PM
You know I've been on this forum and watched you work and save diligently for that and you wondered, fussed and agonized about it quite often, thinking that it was an unreachable goal, and now look, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and top surgery is not only possible but in clear sight. Kudos and big hugs! You are an inspiration to everyone!
Thanks! I wouldn't have been able to get this far had it not been for this wonderful site. :) I imagine some people here are looking to see how this will play out in a year and I'm looking foward to seeing how too.
Quote from: Malachite on October 30, 2013, 03:44:16 PM
Thanks! I wouldn't have been able to get this far had it not been for this wonderful site. :) I imagine some people here are looking to see how this will play out in a year and I'm looking foward to seeing how too.
You'll do fine, attitude is 99%!
Quote from: Shantel on October 30, 2013, 03:46:17 PM
You'll do fine, attitude is 99%!
What's the other 1%?
Stubborn willpower, and luck.
I have to teach tomorrow and I still feel knocked down from the mono.
Somebody asked me if I would get the BA at the same time as the FFS...
I'm not sure about BA yet. If I get a BA boy mode would be impossible, and I may need it. Sadly for a funeral, but we had an agreement.
My boobs are killing me right now, and that's a good thing!
Quote from: caleb. on October 30, 2013, 05:08:07 PM
I have to teach tomorrow and I still feel knocked down from the mono.
I totally understand the feeling. I got another infection and packing. Hope you sleep well enough to feel better in the morning.
Quote from: Shantel on October 30, 2013, 06:07:30 PM
:icon_evil_laugh:
There is a lot of lint in this world. When people give me change, especially men, and there is lint in it, I give the lint back to them.
haha i think I'd like the stubborn willpower and luck more.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on October 30, 2013, 06:12:05 PM
There is a lot of lint in this world. When people give me change, especially men, and there is lint in it, I give the lint back to them.
Good plan, you never know where it's been....navel lint anyone?
Quote from: big head horsey-face on October 30, 2013, 06:12:05 PM
There is a lot of lint in this world. When people give me change, especially men, and there is lint in it, I give the lint back to them.
]
Lol, I've seen (as I'm sure you have) much worse than lint on change...
I just broke down crying in the shower because I'm covered in hair. It's EVERYWHERE and it won't go away!
I'm better now, though. One day at a time...
Quote from: caleb. on October 30, 2013, 06:40:54 PM
]
Lol, I've seen (as I'm sure you have) much worse than lint on change...
Reminds me of hookers paying with damp $5 bills at mcdonalds.....
My little dog is just so darned cute laying there against my leg.
Quote from: Kristal on October 30, 2013, 06:51:57 PM
I just broke down crying in the shower because I'm covered in hair. It's EVERYWHERE and it won't go away!
I'm better now, though. One day at a time...
Where's the Good Witch Glenda and her magic wand when you need it? Don't cry dear!
Quote from: <3 on October 30, 2013, 06:54:17 PM
Reminds me of hookers paying with damp $5 bills at mcdonalds.....
Ewwewwewwewweww!
I wonder if farting has ever been punishable by death.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 30, 2013, 08:00:23 PM
I wonder if farting has ever been punishable by death.
Lmao! I wonder.
Quote from: Kristal on October 30, 2013, 06:51:57 PM
I just broke down crying in the shower because I'm covered in hair. It's EVERYWHERE and it won't go away!
I'm better now, though. One day at a time...
I have EXACTLY the same problem as you honey (I used to cry with frustration while I was shaving myself), I have solved it in a way that takes work and a lot of pain but its completely worth it as I am smooth as the day I was born. If you can take the pain of going everywhere with an epilator you will feel reborn every time you do it, if I want to stay totally smooth I have to use it twice a month approximately but really, sounds like it could be a revelation for you.
p.s. epilating your balls takes practise and in my experience a little alcohol first :)
Try to have a good time, all of the time.
Quote from: Jill F on October 31, 2013, 02:46:09 AM
Try to have a good time, all of the time.
I'm thinking that's some excellent advice Jill!
Quote from: caleb. on October 30, 2013, 08:48:32 PM
Lmao! I wonder.
I just now noticed that you put questions thingy in your signature.
So now I'm going to copy you by putting my questions thingy in my signature. ^.^
Dead end street much? There have been fifteen Hershey bars in a bowl on a table at the end of my driveway since 7:30 this morning. Still fifteen there. Most years the postal worker takes one, not this time. I'm very disappointed, I don't know what to do with all this chocolate. <lying>
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 31, 2013, 07:31:23 PM
Dead end street much? There have been fifteen Hershey bars in a bowl on a table at the end of my driveway since 7:30 this morning. Still fifteen there. Most years the postal worker takes one, not this time. I'm very disappointed, I don't know what to do with all this chocolate. <lying>
LOL we used to buy like five bags of candy every year. (Even though we knew we probably wouldn't get trick-or-treaters :D)
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 31, 2013, 07:08:37 PM
I just now noticed that you put questions thingy in your signature.
So now I'm going to copy you by putting my questions thingy in my signature. ^.^
I copied Malachite for that, lol.
Thinking about the whole "detransition" thing. At first ot looks like easy, but just looking at the old clothes and thinking of presenting male again is far too painful. I can't imagine another future that, it's either this or nothing.
I'm fact, I'm even thing of doing GRS before FFS if I only had money for one surgery...
Another pound of weight lost overnight. Meaning about 15 pounds lost in one week.
If I could stay sick and follow this trend for say, three more weeks, that would be great lol! *tries to stay positive*
As it gets late I sit here so happy and truly at peace with everything in life for once even after all the horrible times.
I have worked my butt off all year and now have a full month off so don't have to think about it for a while. :)
Had a fantastic client meeting on Thursday which I had 3 client emails thanking me for such a wonderful training session. Never had that before so must have done a good job. Funny what this E has done to my confidence and mind.
I also find myself at total ease with becoming a woman that I always knew I was. Before I was terrified now it has been replace by a calm content feeling as the E has been wonderful, so much better than I could have ever imagined. My doctor was amazed by what she saw when I dropped in last week. I had a huge smile on my face being so happy.
I'm now thinking about my next endo appointment on Monday and what will happen, I think I will ok as he should be able to see what a difference a month has made. I so want an increased dose but will have to wait.
Rambling now but still happy.
Jen
Quote from: Jenny07 on November 01, 2013, 06:40:56 AM
As it gets late I sit here so happy and truly at peace with everything in life for once even after all the horrible times.
I have worked my butt off all year and now have a full month off so don't have to think about it for a while. :)
Had a fantastic client meeting on Thursday which I had 3 client emails thanking me for such a wonderful training session. Never had that before so must have done a good job. Funny what this E has done to my confidence and mind.
I also find myself at total ease with becoming a woman that I always knew I was. Before I was terrified now it has been replace by a calm content feeling as the E has been wonderful, so much better than I could have ever imagined. My doctor was amazed by what she saw when I dropped in last week. I had a huge smile on my face being so happy.
I'm now thinking about my next endo appointment on Monday and what will happen, I think I will ok as he should be able to see what a difference a month has made. I so want an increased dose but will have to wait.
Rambling now but still happy.
Jen
Jenny, I can so relate to your comments here! My VA endocrinologist was forever quizzing me, trying to ascertain for certain that I was sure that I wanted to transition MtF and wondered how I preferred to be addressed, and why it was I didn't dress en-femme and wear makeup. He was rather amazed when I told him that one of the primary benefits of female HRT for me was the fact that it eradicated so much of my edginess and agitation from PTSD and whether I become a woman or not is really beside the point and something I consider a beneficial collateral effect. I enjoyed messing with his mind and don't care to have people stick me in a box, but between you and me we know that the reverse order of my comments is really the truth, but the effects on attitude certainly are a plus.
Quote from: caleb. on October 31, 2013, 07:44:33 PM
I copied Malachite for that, lol.
Yessssssss!
That means you're copying me, Trista. Muahahahahahahaha >:-)
My father is always telling me to save my money. When it comes to transitioning "nope save your money and just get over it" when it comes to buying driving lessons "nope, you need to save your money". The list goes on so the other day I finally asked him what am I supposed to save my money for if I can't spend it? He laughed and told me that I'll figure out when I'm older, but then he said you never know if you will be homeless one day so you might need it then, which is true....TWICE as true for me since I'm trans.
I went to get some groceries because all the closest shops are closed tomorrow and I saw two bananas in pyjamas on my way there...
I guess Finland is suffering from Halloween aftershocks or something. :'D
or just hallucinations.
I wish I could be more feminine and not be scared of what everybody else would think :-\
Cold weather is nice. It feels good to wear panty hose again. Also my new 3 inch pumps feel so much better with hose on my feet. I just started on the patch yesterday, yea!! I have no idea why I did not use this years ago rather than trying to remember to take some pills 2 or 3 times a day. Live & learn I guess.
Quote from: FrancisAnn on November 01, 2013, 04:28:23 PM
Cold weather is nice. It feels good to wear panty hose again. Also my new 3 inch pumps feel so much better with hose on my feet. I just started on the patch yesterday, yea!! I have no idea why I did not use this years ago rather than trying to remember to take some pills 2 or 3 times a day. Live & learn I guess.
Good going Francis, they work great and are so much safer.
Was shopping for women's tops today and must have had at least six offers for help from different sales associates who probably assumed that I was in the wrong department. One woman finally figured out that I was with a "real woman," my S.O. and became flustered and said, "Can I get you both a room?" :D :icon_evil_laugh: We looked at each other and broke out laughing. ;D
Oh dear lol. I used to get people redirecting me the women's, which was really annoying.
I'm thinking that I'm getting fraking tired of people trying to censor me. What is so frelling bad about the word ->-bleeped-<- that it makes people drek their pants? People keep getting on my mevonks about this smeg, it's so zarking stupid! This site is a fraxing offender as well. A mod changed the word '->-bleeped-<-ing' in my post to 'effing', and I'm like "Effing? What are you, eight?"
And I'm running out of gorram TV curse words!
I want to go to a club tonight....like I do every night just to socialize and be around people. Thing is, I'd probably just be posted against the wall drinking a Sprite, but at least I'd be around others. Not like I can drive anyway so yeah.... Driving lessons next week though....
I told my mom that I was going to still buy a moped even when I get a car. I told her that I'd rather live a short life not living in a box than to live a long boring life but she says "no, I'd rather you live a long boring life instead".
....and this is the person I'm supposed to come out to when I get the funds for top surgery in about a year.....I can only imagine what the convo will be like....
Quote from: Malachite on November 01, 2013, 08:23:27 PMDriving lessons next week though....
....and this is the person I'm supposed to come out to when I get the funds for top surgery in about a year.....I can only imagine what the convo will be like....
Good luck in both cases.
I'm wondering if I should continue trying to make my Loki costume even though who knows how long that will take or how much I mess up (I've had to make the pants three times now and I still need to do them again) or if I should just give in and buy a costume. The one I'm making is the one in my profile pic. The one I could buy is his outfit from the movies. I'm also wondering if anyone is willing to give me their opinion (hint hint).
Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on November 01, 2013, 06:28:23 AM
Another pound of weight lost overnight. Meaning about 15 pounds lost in one week.
If I could stay sick and follow this trend for say, three more weeks, that would be great lol! *tries to stay positive*
Kitten, Girl Friend please do not over do it on weight loss, go slow & take care of your body. Love your nail polish collection. Take care, Francis
Right now I'm thinking about why the independence hall on the back of the new $100 bill is different and why? Conspiracy theories going wild in my head :o
Quote from: Joules on November 02, 2013, 03:03:36 AM
Maybe the bill is counterfeit....
I wish my bills were counterfeit.
Quote from: Edge on November 01, 2013, 09:31:11 PM
Good luck in both cases.
I'm wondering if I should continue trying to make my Loki costume even though who knows how long that will take or how much I mess up (I've had to make the pants three times now and I still need to do them again) or if I should just give in and buy a costume. The one I'm making is the one in my profile pic. The one I could buy is his outfit from the movies. I'm also wondering if anyone is willing to give me their opinion (hint hint).
Thanks. I'm going to need it. I think if you enjoy making the costume you should keep trying. Me personally I'm just going to buy any cosplay costumes I want but I've heard that people who make theirs have some extra happiness knowing it came from their own hands....even if it's not perfect.
Frick, I just realised I have a very narcissistic personality, according to a bunch of things I just read. (although I do have empathy and I certainly don't think I'm better than everyone else)
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on November 02, 2013, 08:38:10 AM
Frick, I just realised I have a very narcissistic personality, according to a bunch of things I just read. (although I do have empathy and I certainly don't think I'm better than everyone else)
I think we're bonding again.... ::)
Also my IPhone is being glitchy. It shows on every male poster's profile under gender a big picture of an orange cat (I guess someone's avatar) instead of the normal mars symbol. >.<
"Gender: cat! =D"
I'm a megalomaniac according to what I read. Welcome to the club.
Hehe. Cat. Hey, what a coincidence. My group in bio is designing a theoretical experiment on orange cats. Most orange cats are male because the allele that codes for orange fur is on the X chromosome and it's codominant.
I'd apologize for being a nerd, but I'm not sorry and wouldn't like anyone who required me to apologize anyway.
That's a good point Malachite. I actually hate making it though. It took me hours each time I redid the pants and they still all turned out unwearable. I did manage to make most of the shirt and the cowl, but it looks horrible. In any case, I decided to try again just because there's another event I could wear it at coming up sooner that the costume for sale would get here.
I need to learn patience and subtlety. Mostly because, at a coming event, someone I despise will be there and I'm not very good at not being antagonistic. I also don't want to avoid going just because she will be there. They were my friends first and she infiltrated them after she went up against me.
Shaving my face that's been under T acne onslaught for a good while now increases the chance of getting small cuts all over my face.
But rinsing my face filled with those small cuts with cold water? Queue silent screams.
Also, I need a haircut.
Quote from: Edge on November 02, 2013, 09:08:24 AM
Hehe. Cat. Hey, what a coincidence. My group in bio is designing a theoretical experiment on orange cats. Most orange cats are male because the allele that codes for orange fur is on the X chromosome and it's codominant.
I'd apologize for being a nerd, but I'm not sorry and wouldn't like anyone who required me to apologize anyway.
Similarly, most pure white cats are deaf. Cats have funky genetics. Probably because they're secretly aliens.
Nerd
x!
Quote from: Kristal on November 02, 2013, 09:50:01 AM
Similarly, most pure white cats are deaf. Cats have funky genetics. Probably because they're secretly aliens.
Nerdx!
I once had a calico cat that was male which is a genetic anomaly they are always female. He grew into a beautiful fluffy thing with an orange, black and white patchwork coat. His kidneys finally quit on him and he died.
Quote from: Shantel on November 02, 2013, 09:57:37 AM
I once had a calico cat that was male which is a genetic anomaly they are always female. He grew into a beautiful fluffy thing with an orange, black and white patchwork coat. His kidneys finally quit on him and he died.
Male calico cats have Klinefelter's. That's why they're so rare.
Quote from: Edge on November 02, 2013, 09:08:24 AM
.That's a good point Malachite. I actually hate making it though. It took me hours each time I redid the pants and they still all turned out unwearable. I did manage to make most of the shirt and the cowl, but it looks horrible. In any case, I decided to try again just because there's another event I could wear it at coming up sooner that the costume for sale would get here.
Sounds great to me. At least it was something you created with your hands. ::)
I'm starting to regret getting therapy, even if it was just 2 sessions. Don't get me wrong, I love my therapist but at $160 per session, that hurts the wallet, considering I'm going private. Granted, I used my college money I got back but I miss it since I may need to use it to get a new laptop since mine is acting up....and purchase and extended warrenty. I have one that runs out at the first month of next year so I'll be sure to cash in on it.
Luckily, my therapist told me that she would write the letter of reccomendation for top surgery at our next session. She told me to come back to her when I have the funds ready. That sounds good and fair enough to me considering my situation but that's going to take a loooong time. Meh, when I get a job things will be a bit better and I can make that money back and then some. I'm an excellent saver and since I'm living with my mom, I should be able to raise the funds quicker. It is my plan to fill out this job application and turn in it sometime next week. I hate having to walk over to my neighboor's house and asking her if it's okay if it's okay if I put her on the application as a reference.
Quote from: Edge on November 02, 2013, 10:12:23 AM
Male calico cats have Klinefelter's. That's why they're so rare.
Back then the UW school of genetics was interested in acquiring one, I wouldn't let him go I had him when he was still not weened and his eyes were shut. I was checking the whole litter for gender, the female bottoms on such tiny ones look like an upside down apostrophe while the males look like a colon. I was amazed to see a colon on this little thing and I stuck him in my pocket and took him home, the rest were destroyed at the local animal shelter because they weren't weened and the mother had been smooshed by a car.
I thinking that I may soon be the mentor of another trans girl (27 year old) trying to start after very bad years of self denial, suicide attempts, family opposition and being clueless about the system.
And I am fairly worried about being responsible for another person, seeing how much of a disaster I am myself. Plus, you all know that I am extremely negative and have a real problem with telling the harsh truth . If I can't believe in myself, I don't know how can i be a mentor / role model to another.
Garfield isn't calico, he is orange tiger stripes. Calicos have 3 patchy colors.
Someone on Facebook is preaching at me. Now I feel like a true transsexual! She busted out the "God doesn't make mistakes" line, but I was ready for it. "Oh, so he made me this way on purpose? That's good to know, tell him I said thanks for nothing."
Quote from: Kristal on November 02, 2013, 01:22:43 PM
Someone on Facebook is preaching at me. Now I feel like a true transsexual! She busted out the "God doesn't make mistakes" line, but I was ready for it. "Oh, so he made me this way on purpose? That's good to know, tell him I said thanks for nothing."
If I had a dollar for everytime I anticipate on hearing that line, I'd be rich.
God doesn't make mistakes. I would have to be able to speak to explain this well. Jesus explained it in part in the new testament with a crippled and blind person as examples. The other part is in Genesis.
Quote from: Joules on November 02, 2013, 12:06:38 PM
Seems odd to me that cartoon cats are often shown as male Calicos, e.g., Garfield and Bill the Cat for two.
DAT WAS THE PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still think back to several months ago when I was riding in the car with my sisters and saw a panhandler and say something along the lines of "I need to do that job so I could pay for my top surgery" and they never heard it. That just slipped out and I didn't mean to say that but with it being on my mind constantly with my future transition, it just came out. There was absolutely no response like I hadn't said anything at all, and I wasn't whispering. I said it at normal range. Then I immediately changed it to "I MEAN....anime expo...." Still.....nothing. They never heard it and I can't wrap my mind around that. Had they have heard it....it wouldn't have been a pleasent ride home, even though the oldest already knows.
My only explanation: God must have shielded their ears lol. That's the only thing I can come up with.
I still can't figure it out. Arrrrrrrrgh, Malachite is wanting to bust out of this costume and is wanting to remove the mask. It's getting harder for him to contain his self around others. Malachite wants to be free!
I wonder if I could find work in PA.
Err, not unless I was a virus or some such. PA = Pennysylvania, though I have to wonder about what Penny is doing in Sylvania.
I wonder what it feels like to be middle class.
Quote from: Malachite on November 02, 2013, 05:24:25 PM
I wonder what it feels like to be middle class.
Middle class, what does that even really mean? Ward and June Cleaver types no longer exist!
BANFAIL!
Quote from: Shantel on November 02, 2013, 05:39:10 PM
Middle class, what does that even really mean? Ward and June Cleaver types no longer exist!
I'm thinking somewhere above working class but somewhere below rich class....middle!
Quote from: Malachite on November 02, 2013, 05:50:30 PM
I'm thinking somewhere above working class but somewhere below rich class....middle!
Meaning middle income group then. I wonder what constitutes middle income these days with the costs of living index and everything going through the roof and raises being mostly nonexistent? Maybe there won't be a middle group eventually. I'm thinking about not too long ago when I got out of the army I worked as a house framer eleven hours a day six days a week for $3.50 an hr. and was relatively rich, had my own furnished apartment, bought a car, had money to blow. My employer sold the three bedroom split level homes with full basement that we were building for $14,950 at was 1968. That same place would cost 300K in this market today, and you couldn't get any kind of hammer & nails worker out of bed for less than $24 and hour here in the PNW.
Quote from: Shantel on November 02, 2013, 06:21:57 PM
Meaning middle income group then. I wonder what constitutes middle income these days with the costs of living index and everything going through the roof and raises being mostly nonexistent? Maybe there won't be a middle group eventually. I'm thinking about not too long ago when I got out of the army I worked as a house framer eleven hours a day six days a week for $3.50 an hr. and was relatively rich, had my own furnished apartment, bought a car, had money to blow. My employer sold the three bedroom split level homes with full basement that we were building for $14,950 at was 1968. That same place would cost 300K in this market today, and you couldn't get any kind of hammer & nails worker out of bed for less than $24 and hour here in the PNW.
It kind of makes me wonder how the income demographic will change in the next 20 years.
Quote from: Malachite on November 02, 2013, 06:25:16 PM
It kind of makes me wonder how the income demographic will change in the next 20 years.
It's going to be interesting for sure, maybe a bit scary too!
Quote from: Shantel on November 02, 2013, 06:28:03 PM
It's going to be interesting for sure, maybe a bit scary too!
Are you ready for the ride? 8)
Quote from: Malachite on November 02, 2013, 06:29:02 PM
Are you ready for the ride? 8)
Not excited about it, I think my granddaughter is in for a real ride poor baby!
Quote from: Shantel on November 02, 2013, 06:39:35 PM
Not excited about it, I think my granddaughter is in for a real ride poor baby!
I feel you. I think I'd rather eat a cheesecake instead but when it all hits the fan, I'm building a bunker!
Quote from: Malachite on November 02, 2013, 06:43:26 PM
I feel you. I think I'd rather eat a cheesecake instead but when it all hits the fan, I'm building a bunker!
Make room for me, we'll hunker down! ;D
Quote from: Shantel on November 02, 2013, 06:45:29 PM
Make room for me, we'll hunker down! ;D
As long as you bring your tin foil hat. That's your ticket inside the club. I know I have mine!
Quote from: Malachite on November 02, 2013, 06:48:31 PM
As long as you bring your tin foil hat. That's your ticket inside the club. I know I have mine!
I'm good to go! Can I have a fluffy pink feather on mine? ;D
Quote from: Shantel on November 02, 2013, 06:58:07 PM
I'm good to go! Can I have a fluffy pink feather on mine? ;D
Sure, why not? That way we won't get our hats mixed up.
Quote from: Malachite on November 02, 2013, 07:00:15 PM
Sure, why not? That way we won't get our hats mixed up.
We'll have to bring some food, I make pretty good chicken enchiladas?
Quote from: Shantel on November 02, 2013, 08:04:24 PM
We'll have to bring some food, I make pretty good chicken enchiladas?
Can I have mine non-spicy with just monzerella cheese?
Quote from: Malachite on November 02, 2013, 08:10:38 PM
Can I have mine non-spicy with just monzerella cheese?
No problemo senior! :)
Funny how some of my tastes alter...before T, I never really cared or noticed if lesbians were kissing on screen. But yesterday, I saw part of My Name is Earl where the hotel maid, Catalina, decides to try becoming a lesbian. She comes into the room that Alyssa Milano's character is hiding in (I LOVE Alyssa Milano, she may be my biggest celeb crush, even more than Katy Perry) and Cataline starts hitting on her and getting close and I got so excited lol. I was like "OMG PLEASE KISS HER." She didn't. But I was surprised. That's not...how I am, lol.
Thinking about androgynous women in anime. There appears to be more men with an androgynous appearance in anime than women for some reason, but there are some.
Let's see, from Hellsing there's:
http://hellsing.wikia.com/wiki/Integra
http://hellsing.wikia.com/wiki/Rip_Van_Winkle
http://hellsing.wikia.com/wiki/Zorin_Blitz
There's one anime my friend likes, Princess Jellyfish. In that one there's:
http://kuragehime.wikia.com/wiki/Mayaya
http://kuragehime.wikia.com/wiki/Banba
Hmm, that's all I got.
Not allowed to forget Haruka from Sailor Moon!
edit: wth why won't the bracket at the end make itself part of the link. here is another
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.tumblr.com%2Fd48629498a677d733817626f77306766%2Fyogtasj%2FKd0mh04xu%2Ftumblr_static_870016haruka16.jpg&hash=16bce96ffbe3233f05ae0e87a65ca121c01cb77a)
Quote from: caleb. on November 02, 2013, 11:47:30 PM
Not allowed to forget Haruka from Sailor Moon!
edit: wth why won't the bracket at the end make itself part of the link. here is another
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.tumblr.com%2Fd48629498a677d733817626f77306766%2Fyogtasj%2FKd0mh04xu%2Ftumblr_static_870016haruka16.jpg&hash=16bce96ffbe3233f05ae0e87a65ca121c01cb77a)
Reminds me of David Sylvian from the rock group Japan
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DH.4816639522047992%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1&hash=74dc06a83d0eb559b1af725406d840b5b87224d6)
I'm annoyed that Gamestop is putting so much focus on androids mps3s ipods, ipads, and whatever else sort of fancy gadgets there are like that. They should keep the focus on console and PC games and if they want to expand, they should start selling older games and consoles again....NOT discontinuing the sales and trading of them.
I wish a Play n Trade would open up right next to our Gamestop.
My nipples are really going at it. Burning, real sensitive. I'm already a B cup & bet they are going to grow very large. With a tight sweater I already look like some teenage girl with breasts that are strarting to take off.
It feels good except The rest of my body & plan need to catch. I have so much to do. Electro & all.
The Evil Within looks very scary. I may watch the lets play of it. Dead Space 2 scarred me for life....especially with the eye poke needle scene nad the "come to mama" scene. Perhaps this will top it. Then again, I may not even want to watch it.
I can't fit my old clothes anymore...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fzr01tf7.jpg%3F1&hash=bc1e99a32feb128bde9b90b08125d3973bfb48d5)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FgVjLxQL.jpg%3F1&hash=d2413d40180222c5f09f25af9b545e19d29d33bb)
And it was terribly painful to put them on. I can't really go back even for one day.
Waiting for my binder from Underworks to come in... It's only been a week, but I haven't got a clue how long their delivery takes. Perhaps I'll ask the guys later.
Quote from: Night Haven on November 03, 2013, 08:56:23 AM
Waiting for my binder from Underworks to come in... It's only been a week, but I haven't got a clue how long their delivery takes. Perhaps I'll ask the guys later.
Mine came in pretty quickly.
I suddenly want to play Where in the World is Camen Sandiego. Unfortunately, I haven't had that game since I was kid.
I accidentally made the same ticker as someone else. Oops. I'm sorry. I was going to use the bat, but it would have been black on black, so...
I'll have to look out for it next week, then.
Still concerned, though, because when I typed in the tracking number nothing came up. Apparently my package doesn't exist. Perhaps it was out of stock and therefore hasn't been shipped yet? *Sigh*
That getting people to help with packing and moving is next to impossible. If only I could do more myself.
I think it is time to finally grow out the beard.
Quote from: Malachite on November 03, 2013, 02:38:18 AM
I'm annoyed that Gamestop is putting so much focus on androids mps3s ipods, ipads, and whatever else sort of fancy gadgets there are like that. They should keep the focus on console and PC games and if they want to expand, they should start selling older games and consoles again....NOT discontinuing the sales and trading of them.
I wish a Play n Trade would open up right next to our Gamestop.
I used to work at a gamestop. It was fun - we got to 'check out' games and take them home for days at a time.
I completely agree they should start getting back into old cartridges and older systems. I remember even years ago when I worked there, people would snap up the old Nintendo systems when they were traded in. Now they don't take that stuff at all I think.
They are being pushed by the digital content released directly on systems to go into other areas with tech that can be traded in and resold at at full profit - hence the phones and tablet trade ins.
They can't take PC games for trade ins and reselling, unfortunately, because of the serial number.
Quote from: spacerace on November 03, 2013, 04:21:31 PM
I used to work at a gamestop. It was fun - we got to 'check out' games and take them home for days at a time.
I completely agree they should start getting back into old cartridges and older systems. I remember even years ago when I worked there, people would snap up the old Nintendo systems when they were traded in. Now they don't take that stuff at all I think.
They are being pushed by the digital content released directly on systems to go into other areas with tech that can be traded in and resold at at full profit - hence the phones and tablet trade ins.
They can't take PC games for trade ins and reselling, unfortunately, because of the serial number.
Yeah it's really sad, especially since they recently discontinued the trade of PS2 games. I have a feeling that the PSP will be the next one on the chopping block. I understand they have to make room for the PS4 and Xbox One sales and all but I'm still going to miss it. Buying the classics digitally just isn't the same as owning the disc.
My mom asked if I was selling drugs because I had so much money while never working. Part of me wonders if she was just joking or if she was really being serious.
I know some truly wonderful people.
Thinking if i were to combine ALL of my money I have for top surgery that it wouldn't even be a dent in what I'm trying to raise -sigh-
I forgot my bandana at home so I had to put my hair in pigtails for work, otherwise it gets completely out of control. Unfortunately, this was also my first day going to work with my new purse. Somehow, no one suspects anything. Or perhaps they do and they just don't talk to me about it. Hmm...
The Shining. Watching it now, but I keep clicking over to ruin the suspense because I know I'm going to be jumpy for a month after if I don't do anything. *Hangs head* Ohhh, I know, I'm such a pansy.
Thinking about the people that have left (or haven't posted in a while) and weren't in the best state of mind when last seen. Alexis Hennen, SaveMeJeebus, Miss Bungle, Brody Brown, FreshGuy, etc. Also the people that left in protest, i.e. Glitterfly, Skye-Blue, Yuki-jker86, etc...I wonder if they are doing okay....
Wait, Miss Bungle? I thought I saw her on just the other day... Hope she's okay...
Quote from: Kristal on November 04, 2013, 08:51:00 PM
Wait, Miss Bungle? I thought I saw her on just the other day... Hope she's okay...
She seems to have disappeared...
I feel like giving up. I will never have the simple things, a car that works, a place to call home, a friend in person, a job with value(not necessarily money), a way to help others all because I can't even help myself.
Quote from: <3 on November 04, 2013, 08:58:52 PM
She seems to have disappeared...
She was frustrated with the mods about something and wrote a semi-large thread announcing that she wished she never donated money to the site and that she was leaving. But it got deleted within seconds.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shin_Dong-hyuk
What a sad (but very interesting) story. It must be very strange to live your entire life in an isolated torture camp only to escape and see how diverse and beautiful the rest of the world is.
Besides the general sudden take-in of the modern world, I'm also a little curious about what he was thinking when he found out black and white people exist. :3
At any rate, I wonder if they'll ever make a movie out of his life.
Quote from: <3 on November 04, 2013, 08:48:13 PM
Thinking about the people that have left (or haven't posted in a while) and weren't in the best state of mind when last seen. Alexis Hennen, SaveMeJeebus, Miss Bungle, Brody Brown, FreshGuy, etc. Also the people that left in protest, i.e. Glitterfly, Skye-Blue, Yuki-jker86, etc...I wonder if they are doing okay....
I'd like to add
Boolia Baconseed to the list.
I wonder about our lost community members a lot. Wherever they are, I care about them and wish them the best.
Well, that turned depressing really fast.
On a completely unrelated note, I love my new purse. It used to be, I'd wear cargo pants in order to carry around all the stuff I had, but a purse makes it so much easier! It's like a big pocket you can hit people with.
Why does it seem nobody knows how to make a decent power point these days? My partners (whom I didn't pick to be with) even managed to connect a picture with the caption "poison, the knife, or the noose" with matching illustrations for the cover of our lab. On enzymes. I am unable to relate the topics adequately enough to justify that.
Also, the kitten is blocking me from moving to get my notes. I... don't want to uproot him, but it's late and I wanted to get this done tonight. Perhaps he'll settle back...
Edit: I've also noticed they neglected to give me instructions for what I'm supposed to be filling out... Hm.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 04, 2013, 09:04:52 PM
I feel like giving up. I will never have the simple things, a car that works, a place to call home, a friend in person, a job with value(not necessarily money), a way to help others all because I can't even help myself.
You can't and you won't because you're not a quiter or a wimp...(((hugs)))
Quote from: Joules on November 05, 2013, 05:03:24 AM
There are at least a handful I can think of who haven't appeared in a long time but still do put in a show now and then. Kia, Theo and Misschievous are 3 that come to mind, all with delightful shares when they show. Guess it's just their style. There are many other names I remember from when I first started, peeps that I liked and am sad they haven't shown in a very long time. Guess Susan's isn't such an addiction for all of us (Either way is cool btw).
Oh I'd be willing to bet some visit as "Guest" at times to see if there's anything new. I've been here off and on since Susan's first turned up on the Internet and I often wonder how some people's lives turned out several years down the road, then there's a few that have died that I miss. Susan's Place has an emotionally addictive attraction while at the same time can be a very depressing place when you begin to care for other people and the suffering they go through becomes upsetting. Trust me, I know!
Thinking that reading the eulogies of haters stinks.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 05, 2013, 07:48:54 AM
Thinking that reading the eulogies of haters stinks.
Thinking on the flip-side that they are gone is a relief regardless of the lies someone has written about how nice they supposedly were.
I'm kind of missing a couple of people here myself. :/
Ugh, what a stressful dream I just had like 2 minutes ago, it apparently woke me up.
For some reason it's causing my to be sad about my highschool crush again (who wasn't even really in it). I guess a part of me still hopes but.... -.-
I think I'm in love with Kate Hoshimoto.
I can't believe its 10:30 am and I haven't had coffee yet. :icon_caffine:
Quote from: LearnedHand on November 05, 2013, 09:32:15 AM
I can't believe its 10:30 am and I haven't had coffee yet. :icon_caffine:
What's wrong with you? :P
amy
Beaufort, our county seat, has made another list, this time Travel and Leisure's fourth favorite town.
http://www.carolinacoastonline.com/news_times/news/article_455a0e88-4194-11e3-9ffb-001a4bcf887a.html (http://www.carolinacoastonline.com/news_times/news/article_455a0e88-4194-11e3-9ffb-001a4bcf887a.html)
I still hate going on Front Street though....
Two things:
1. I only just realised what day it was when a firework went off outside my window. ::)
2. When I've just washed my hair, I can do a remarkable impersonation of Sadako from the movie Ring.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faneeshchaganty.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F08%2Fring.jpeg&hash=bdec3348c413c5a43c05ba350467eb9de6305f6b)
I'm going out to buy dinner 5 metres away from home. I already cleaned my face and is too late, so... Ok, I am going down in my typical female "Throw the rubbish out, buy beer" attire (normal bra, girl t-shirt, jeans). But no other makeup other than the beard cover.
I don't know if I am breaking my RLT by doing this. I need to see how I am perceived without ten pounds of make up and a bangs extension.
Quote from: Joules on November 05, 2013, 12:02:55 PM
I am puzzled by the smile exchange. He seemed to be quite amused and/or pleased to see me. Was it the hair I'm growing out? Was he just a bit high? Is he seeing something that made him think I'm on the verge of transition? I wasn't alarmed at the smile exchange, in fact, I enjoyed it, my own smile felt broad, warm and genuine in a new way. Hmmmm....
Smiles are just one of those things that remains lovely even if you don't know what's behind it. My first thought, he was checking you out at the check out line. Sorry I can't help but pun :P
Just watched The Meaning of Life again. In the beginning when the lady gives birth and then asks if it's a boy or girl, the doctor replies saying that it's a little early to start imposing roles on it. I never thought anything of the comment until now...it's funny the things you notice in movies that you never did before.
I was thinking about a comment regarding what a person first looks at when meeting another. I think I am guilty of what this lady complained about, but never would I tell her that. This comment was regarding someone looking at breasts. I look at faces but won't deny looking at curves and breasts. I would find it pretty crass to come up and tell a lady that and wonder what drove a person to do that to this lady friend.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 05, 2013, 04:03:11 PM
I was thinking about a comment regarding what a person first looks at when meeting another. I think I am guilty of what this lady complained about, but never would I tell her that. This comment was regarding someone looking at breasts. I look at faces but won't deny looking at curves and breasts. I would find it pretty crass to come up and tell a lady that and wonder what drove a person to do that to this lady friend.
Sometimes people innocently look at someone's features because they admire them, not because they're being inappropriate. That said, I have a habit of checking out girls' butts :P but only because I want to see if they're bigger than mine. If they are I get jealous! So strange...
I look forward to the day when my voice is deep enough that I can pull a valley girl accent and still be registered as a guy.
...That day is a long way off.
¿What the heck is going on with me?
Second day since my E was upped a bit (far too low) and I'm acting like a slut. ¿What the fork? I'm saying things online that tomorrow I will feel ashamed. Maybe there was something nasty on that kebab...
283 bad objects within 8 minutes of scanning on a laptop someone wanted me to clean.
Some people should simply not have computers.
Quote from: big head horsey-face on November 05, 2013, 05:20:56 PM
283 bad objects within 8 minutes of scanning on a laptop someone wanted me to clean.
Some people should simply not have computers.
Probably me. I've trashed three pc's so far and finally got a MacBook Pro and haven't had a single problem in over a year.
Quote from: Shantel on November 05, 2013, 05:23:47 PM
Probably me. I've trashed three pc's so far and finally got a MacBook Pro and haven't had a single problem in over a year.
But do you download anything and everything that promises to speed up your computer?
And malware just finished scanning for a total of 1269 objects that need to be removed and that's only the beginning....
Quote from: big head horsey-face on November 05, 2013, 05:27:11 PM
But do you download anything and everything that promises to speed up your computer?
And malware just finished scanning for a total of 1269 objects that need to be removed and that's only the beginning....
No, and I keep my email on "exclusive" and so far have kept the Nigerian Princes at arms length. :D ;D :laugh:
My brother has a friend over. She is really sweet and pretty, but hyperfeminine so hard to relate to at all. But I am freaking out because I shook her hand and for some reason am paranoid that my hand was sticky and that it grossed her out.
There's a film I've been wanting to see for awhile now, but I can't find it anywhere. I wonder when I'll be able to find it.
Dang....looks like for Christmas all I'm asking for is MONEY!
Oh and a certain brand of toothpicks, some coin wrappers, a pair of tweezers, and a disc launcher
Other than that, I'm asking for nothing but money.
It's nice to see some colour back in that pony.
QuoteWhat are you thinking?
Oh, for me, just the usual...why did I "shut down" just as I came home from work? (Everyday this happens, btw) Why am I bothering to continue breathing? Do I
really believe things "will get better"? Why haven't I made dinner yet? (Oh, that's right, I've shut down.) Can I do anything besides play Freecell, look at Susan's, or FaceBook? (Seriously, that's all I can do once I've turned off for the evening)
Does this matter? I should go outside and say hi to the neighbors...*
huge anxiety pre-attack*...oh well, maybe not...*
anxiety attack drops to 18% strength*...hmm, wonder if there's any new posts on Susan's...Freecell, "game over, no more moves" (3 out of 7 games won, must reset the score)...Susan's new replies...unread posts...FaceBook...damn I'm hungry, I should make...
no stay right in your chair, you're not moving!*
suicide ideation, suicide ideation, suicide ideation...* Hmm...music would be nice, but gotta finish this Freecell game...wait gotta check Susan's again...*
suicide ideation, suicide ideation...*...*
gotta make dinner, gotta make dinner, hungry, gotta make dinner*...FaceBook! A notification! Maybe upload a picture...
Almost time to call work about tomorrow...phone's on the table next to me...Susan's! A PM!! Yay!...remember, the phone...gotta call, gotta call...who? Oh yeah, work...Reply to the PM first...
:-\
This is literally what my mind is typically thinking when I'm home, after work and on the weekends.
Yes, I'm in therapy, and no, there is no danger of self-harm.
I don't know why I do this.
:(
I hope that the lady I steal pics from posts some updated ones soon....
Quote from: big head horsey-face on November 05, 2013, 08:51:09 PM
I hope that the lady I steal pics from posts some updated ones soon....
LOL, yeah I know whut you mean...I <3 faceBook's "Dirty Angels" (pics of old angels in graveyards) and "Abandoned Asylums" (just what it sounds like...)
Beth has my life but replace facebook with netflix. Never told the therapist. If I tire of netflix, no news on Susan's, even facebook is dead, then I play Runescape for days.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 05, 2013, 09:15:26 PM
Beth has my life but replace facebook with netflix. Never told the therapist. If I tire of netflix, no news on Susan's, even facebook is dead, then I play Runescape for days.
My twin!! Glad to meet you, LordKat...
It's now 810pm my time...I wrote the first post at 623...so it's been almost two hours.
And what have I done? Dishes? No. Dinner? No. Anything but FB, Susan's, and Freecell? Nope. I even missed my evening E pills (which I usually take between 6pm and 8pm)...
My the*apist has asked, "Where do you 'go' when you shut off?" I don't really know...sometimes I don't even remember the days at all. My computer has a history, so I can check it...and I know I only look at Susan's, FB, and occasionally YouTube.
One thing that is always very very common with the experience, is the sense of being in a "place" where there is no time, not at all. Like when the Flatlander gets picked up by "the apple"...he goes "up", but has no reference with which to point to "up", so when he gets back into his dimensions (only two) he can only sense the loss of the third dimension, but cannot point to it.
I'm like that, I sense a loss of the dimension of "time", and that is where I "go."
FML
Only stopping when so tired that I find myself face down on the keyboard. Enough sleep to kind of function at work. My meds get messed up too.
Just got a message from someone who served with me on my boat. It turns out she's transsexual too! It's a small world... I feel sorry for her, she's got nine more months to go until her enlistment is up. She's talking about doing HRT while still in, but I don't know if she could get in trouble for that.
I've pointed her towards this forum, that's all I can do, really.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 05, 2013, 10:19:46 PM
Only stopping when so tired that I find myself face down on the keyboard. Enough sleep to kind of function at work. My meds get messed up too.
Last night I went to bed about 1am...had to get up at 6am. Normally, I try to be in bed by 9...but that never happens. 1030-midnight is more usual.
Remembering my meds helped me come back to "reality" (such as it is LOL)...I wouldn't have remembered except for the post. I was able, once I got up and med'ed myself, to do the dishes as well.
But, no dinner. I do briefly think about going out to a restaurant, or maybe to the local LGBT bar (they have really good chicken strips)...but now I'm sitting again, and I've already felt my switches...*
click click click*. Now I need to withdraw from my "timeless" zone...
Quote from: Kristal on November 05, 2013, 10:31:04 PM
Just got a message from someone who served with me on my boat. It turns out she's transsexual too! It's a small world... I feel sorry for her, she's got nine more months to go until her enlistment is up. She's talking about doing HRT while still in, but I don't know if she could get in trouble for that.
I've pointed her towards this forum, that's all I can do, really.
9 months...coincidentally, that's the time it takes for human gestation. Maybe if she thinks of her remaining time as such until her re-birth...
National Coming Out Day in the US is November 11, right?
I was reminded of that whilst looking through articles. Now I want to make a scarf in time for celebration. I've already got one for pansexual pride; genderqueer is lavender, white, and green, while neutrois (found it just now) is white, green, and black. I want to finish both of the latter, but I still need the right green for them. :-\ Going to have to shop for yarn later. And rack up some free time.
Hm... Perhaps my binder will be here by then.
Love your butterfly avatar, Night Haven.
:)
And actually, NCOD was October 11 (https://www.google.com/#q=national+coming+out+day+2013&safe=off)...
Quote from: Beth Andrea on November 05, 2013, 10:34:25 PM
9 months...coincidentally, that's the time it takes for human gestation. Maybe if she thinks of her remaining time as such until her re-birth...
ZOMG, SYMBOLISM!
I hadn't thought about that, I'll tell her that tomorrow. Speaking of which, I should be in bed as well, instead of awake and eating ice cream...
Mmmkay I completely changed my mind again. I'm just gonna go for a plain ol nursing degree instead.
Losing hip fat is both good and bad. My bony butt hates hard chairs, feels more normal though.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 06, 2013, 09:18:53 AM
Losing hip fat is both good and bad. My bony butt hates hard chairs, feels more normal though.
I hate my bony butt, so so much, wish i had
some padding on there.
Quote from: Xhianil on November 06, 2013, 09:21:34 AM
I hate my bony butt, so so much, wish i had some padding on there.
You can have some of mine. My butt's so big I somehow feel taller when I sit down lol :P
Quote from: Beth Andrea on November 05, 2013, 10:53:30 PM
Love your butterfly avatar, Night Haven.
:)
And actually, NCOD was October 11 (https://www.google.com/#q=national+coming+out+day+2013&safe=off)...
Thank you~
Really? Dammit, I was right the first time, then. *Pout* Ah, at least now I don't have to rush to finish things.
i've been thinking the whole day why i cried last night. it was such a tiny incident (as always) and i was just crying nonstop. more i cried, more i felt lonely and outlawed, more i felt the need to move out and start my life anew, though what triggered the cry was never related to GD. at one point there was my outer self weeping sobbing and spilling tears while my inner self, the wise know-it-all guy was asking 'what's this nonsense? why are you crying? stop being a fool and gather yourself together and do some school work' but the outer self wouldn't listen. it just wanted to cry on and on recalling all kinds of unhappy memories. when it finally ended i was so drained and i really needed some music. i turned on the radio and fell asleep with the earphones on. arrgh! i even went through the old childish thoughts like 'i'm not their child' or 'i should kill my brother'(it was him who triggered me) and 'no it's better to kill myself. oh! then all my friends will cry! no i shouldn't die' etc. it felt so stupid!
Sometimes you need to do things to avoid the triggers of your depression. Moving out isn't necessarily a bad thing. Is it possible? Do you have friends or relaties who you could room with for a while?
Quote from: LordKAT on November 06, 2013, 03:07:41 PM
Sometimes you need to do things to avoid the triggers of your depression. Moving out isn't necessarily a bad thing. Is it possible? Do you have friends or relaties who you could room with for a while?
well music helps a lot as i said, plus daydreaming about transition. i have a generally peaceful mind and ignore little disturbances most of the time, but once in a while something gets through and ruins it all.
thanks for the concern but i can't move out yet, not until i finish school and have my own income, and that's gonna take about an year more. i'll just have to hold on until then, if i could hold it for 18yrs, why not one more year?
I'm watching Cocktail. It makes me realize just how old I am...
Damnit hair, just one more year and you'll be at a happier length to my shoulders.
I'm a slug. I should end up in an institution of sorts. I'd be much better off.
Sounds good in theory, My prob is, I can't care for myself much less anyone else.
Sorry, me. I shouldn't have shaved your head and forced you to be a boy (again.)
Our conscience wanted to talk to you. She was upset.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls wear dresses and you don't like wearing dresses. So maybe you're not really a girl.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls like boys and you don't like boys. So maybe you're not really a girl.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls play with dolls and you never played with dolls. So maybe you're not really a girl.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls like wearing makeup and you... oh, you do like wearing makeup? Well maybe you're just gay.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls do play with dolls and... oh, you asked for dolls but you never got one?
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls like boys! What? Not all girls like boys? What is this heresy?
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls definitely wear dresses! That's what make girls girls! Right? No?
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But what makes you think you're a girl?
Girls are this and you're that.
Girls are cute and you're gross.
Girls are sweet and you're sour.
Girls are soft and you're bumpy.
Girls are perfect. And you are gross and sour and bumpy. And that!
What makes you think you're a girl?
Sorry, me. I shouldn't have let you wish you could be a girl again.
*bbzzzzz*
:'(
Quote from: Joules on November 06, 2013, 11:06:45 PM
Quote from: LordKAT on November 06, 2013, 09:42:42 PM
Sounds good in theory, My prob is, I can't care for myself much less anyone else.
LordKAT, you're breaking my heart. Pull yourself together, you can do it! Hugs.
LordKAT was replying a post I'd made, which I deleted shortly after. I don't wish to harm others...and like LordKAT, I'm "more alone than I have ever been."
Loneliness is literally a killer.
Quote from: Jillian on November 06, 2013, 11:44:19 PM
Sorry, me. I shouldn't have shaved your head and forced you to be a boy (again.)
Our conscience wanted to talk to you. She was upset.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls wear dresses and you don't like wearing dresses. So maybe you're not really a girl.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls like boys and you don't like boys. So maybe you're not really a girl.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls play with dolls and you never played with dolls. So maybe you're not really a girl.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls like wearing makeup and you... oh, you do like wearing makeup? Well maybe you're just gay.
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls do play with dolls and... oh, you asked for dolls but you never got one?
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls like boys! What? Not all girls like boys? What is this heresy?
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But girls definitely wear dresses! That's what make girls girls! Right? No?
I know you don't like being a boy, she said. But what makes you think you're a girl?
Girls are this and you're that.
Girls are cute and you're gross.
Girls are sweet and you're sour.
Girls are soft and you're bumpy.
Girls are perfect. And you are gross and sour and bumpy. And that!
What makes you think you're a girl?
Sorry, me. I shouldn't have let you wish you could be a girl again.
*bbzzzzz*
:'(
OMG, I'm so sorry... *hugs*
Dear cis people: I see you pulling your children closer when I walk by. Hey, I get it. You don't want this dirty ->-bleeped-<- infecting your children, right? Or you think I'm going to jump over and eat them? It's not like I could possibly just be there to do some shopping or anything, I must be there looking to corrupt your precious family values.
My brother is such an unappreciative douchebag and the way he talks back to my mother pisses me off. I know he has autism but it isn't that bad to where you can't understand how to respect your parents. He knows right from wrong. He's been living for almost 30 years so he should know when our mother gets ready for work. The douchebag decides to take a bath right at the same time she needs to get ready and when my mother tells him she has to go in there he tells her "You should have gotten in there earlier when you had all this time." I would have slapped him. I could tell my mom was getting frustrated and told him sternly that she sets her clock on a schedule each morning and that he has all day and his response was a surprised "what??" then he starts mumbling to himself "you could have gotten in earlier" or something like that so he went in his room and watches Power Rangers until she got out. I don't know what pisses me off more: the way he talks to our mom or how my mom just takes it and doesn't get as stern as she SHOULD get with him. She holds me to a stricter standard and I hate that. He can take the bus to his home and doctor and to wherever else he needs to go (or if it's out of the bus route she will take him), yet she is cramming it down my throat that I need to get my drivers licenses and drive (though to be fair, she does take me places where I need to go but still). The guy dropped out of college (and don't get me wrong, I don't think everyone needs college to be successful) and has no plans for his life as far as I can see, yet I went to the same college and got my degree with the plan to move up north at least....one day....and I can't get a moped? How hypocritical! Many times I feel that she (and my father) favors him over me and it isn't going to get any better for me when I announce my transition plans.....if I can ever afford them since both parties are telling me to worry a job later and focus on my driver's license first, and who knows how long that will take considering I'm a slow learner. They will probably favor him even more then. When I tell my sister my feelings, she says it's because my mom doesn't want to get into an argument with my brother and she says that typically the male children get away with more and that the "females" are held to a stricter standard and I feel there is some truth to that. But I'm not female! Arrrrgh! My brother can just kick and scream and get his way (or at the very most, get a verbal slap on the wrist. Even though I have no respect for my brother at all, I envy him because he has the biological male body that I desire. I would GLADLY trade places with him in a heartbeat even though he's like 350 pounds and autistic. Honestly, I do think I that I may have slight autism myself, but it went so far under the radar that my parents didn't get me tested for it.
Malachite, I think you would be much happier if you were out on your own. There comes a time when you need to build your own life. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 07, 2013, 08:02:54 AM
Malachite, I think you would be much happier if you were out on your own. There comes a time when you need to build your own life. Hugs, Devlyn
I would agree. I just wish it were that easy at this time.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 06, 2013, 09:14:00 PM
I'm a slug. I should end up in an institution of sorts. I'd be much better off.
You and I know you are stronger than that!
Quote from: Kristal on November 07, 2013, 06:24:44 AM
Dear cis people: I see you pulling your children closer when I walk by. Hey, I get it. You don't want this dirty ->-bleeped-<- infecting your children, right? Or you think I'm going to jump over and eat them? It's not like I could possibly just be there to do some shopping or anything, I must be there looking to corrupt your precious family values.
My brother's neighbours stopped talking to him and doing favours for him when they saw he had a male friend living with him. It's really silly.
Chainsaws and jackhammers are what I love to wake up to at 6:45AM. Especially after going to bed late. These idiots make the barking dogs next door sound welcome.
So glad I moved to a quiet neighborhood!
Video Games
Got to pack, no got to play runescape and get off susan's, no got to pack,.......
Lol, and with that Susan's Odyssey, I think it's time to lock this thread and open a new one.